View Full Version : A Whole New World

Electric Hero
July 12th, 2005, 6:09 PM
Hello people!!! It's me... a lonely RPer and ex-writer doing my first fanfic in PC... well... this fanfic contains... stuff... well... nothing too mature like gore and too much blood, just know that it's like the wild.... so don't expect that pokmon just eat berries and not-meat-stuff XD. Well... I don't have too many words, just that I'm excited to show my first fanfic in PC... I made this for fun... no, I'm not saying I hate writing... I just... oh well... let me explain you: I found myself surrounded by boringness (boredom) and I just decided to do what I like the most... writing fics. Ok... I don't own pokmon or anything related. But I do own THIS fanfic so... DO NOT STEAL!! Well... I'm bad speaking so... here's my fic:

A Whole New World


A whole new world a whole new region This region is called: Ritzu and it has a really peculiar feature there are no humans! Yes, humans doesnt live there. Ritzu, its too far from all the other regions so humans cant go there. But ANY pokmon from ANY region is able to go to Ritzu.

This region has been found recently, and still we dont want to go there just because we want that the pokmon have their own paradise. Even this region is unknown to humans, Ill tell you this story about a group of pokmon, having their own adventures in this awesome region.

But let me explain you about Ritzu a bit more before telling you this story. Ritzu is so big that it can hold all the pokmon in the whole world. Its so big that it can even hold civilizations yes, civilizations. Ritzu is as old as pokmon so pokmon that had spent their lives in Ritzu, made civilaztions. Believe it or not there are cities there, villages, towns, etc.

Pokmon are organized there. They even have money. The coins are just rock made into coins. Many pokmon help to make the coins round. Oh well the whole region is a whole new world its like the human world but change the humans, for pokmon!

End of Prologue

Chapter 1: Introducing Scythes

Part 1: The life of a young ninja

A sound was heard in the forest in the Ninja Forest. Scyther! ((for the sake of this RP pokmon will talk in ; sometimes, cries will make the job for ahh!! just when the ahh! are like in battle or battlecries)) screamed a Scyther that charged against another Scyther. Scyyther!! screamed the other one dodging the atack of the first mantis.

Behind some bushes, a younger Scyther was looking at the battle. Both fighting Scythers were well trained, and they had a tough battle. The first Scyther attacked, and the second one dodged crouching. The second one jumped and tried to slash the first one. The first one reacted quickly and he avoided the attack. wow expressed the young hidden Scyther.

The fighting scythers exchanged attacks. One slashed, the other dodged. Sometimes, the sounds of scythe against scythe made everything more exciting. They finally finished battling with a False Swipe each one. They never touched the other one in battle, so no one was hurt. They hitted their scythes softly like a sign of well done. good battle said the first one as they both walked away from the forest to their village talking about their duel.

Their battle techniques were so interesting they never repeated attacks, they made poor attacks to make the other show his moves wow said the young Scyther as he stood up from the bushes and walked to the spot where the two scythers fought. The young scyther started trying to make such perfect moves. But he didnt know he was being stalked by something in the forest.

A soft bug like sounds was heard. The young scyther stopped and turned around slowly. He saw a Beedrill ready to attack. He was amazed by such big thing. The bug pokmon quickly charged against the young ninja. The young scyther was possibly not experienced as the two scythers that fought, but he atleast was learning and he was really good.

He made a fighting position and waited for the gaint bee to get near. He dodged the attack, and quickly jumped and slashed the beedrill. The Beedrill flew high and looked at the young Scyther. The beedrill made the same attack, and the young scyther made the same plan. Succesful, and the beedrill got some meters away from the young scyther.

The beedrill tried a physical poison sting against the scyther. The young scyther moved away the sting with his scythe and with the same scythe (which was the right one) hit the beedrills body. The beedrill crouched because of the hit and the scyther slashed the beedrills wings with his left scythe. The defeated beedrill got up and looked at the scyther. youre good kid it said and then, he flew away. The young scyther smiled and then a bell was heard.

The young scyther looked surprised and then, he ran with incredible speed (but of course, he is young, so he still doesnt run like an experienced scyther) to the entrance to the forest. But he got lost in the big maze designed for expert ninja pokmon. He found himself on an edge of the forest, and almost fell. His village was down, but he really needed to get to his village fast. He took a deep breath and jumped.

His wings started flapping and hovered a bit. He crashed against a rock and rolled on the ground. When he was in the air because of another crash, he started to hover again. After some seconds after starting hovering again, he crashed again. He hit the ground and flew through the air some meters and finally crashed against the villages ground.

He stood up and looked around. He was in an alley. He ran through the colorful village, and many scyther and scizor and a few ninjask said good-bye to the young scyther. He reached a big building (one of the many) in the center of the village. He opened its big doors and walked in. Scythes! Youre finally here! come and lets start a new lesson said a Scizor who was already a true ninja, infront of a group of young and organized Scythers and Scizors. Scythes vowed and joined the others. Scythes was in a training to be a better ninja.

Ok so everyones here so lets start the lesson said the ninja Scizor walking and looking at the whole group. He stopped and looked at each of the pokmon infront of him. Scythes was at the first line, and looked back at the Scizor. Master Kyroga what do you have prepared for us? asked a young scizor. be patient young ninja, for your patience will make the difference between survival and death replied the Master Kyroga.

Today ,my young ninja, youll learn about the secret of being invisible and youll learn about the big variety of gear that a ninja can have added Master Kyroga. You will have to be the deadly shadows of the next maze and defeat the enemies fast and silently without being noticed by anyone. After you complete the challenge, Ill be at the other side of the maze, and Ill explain you about some gear that ninja can use continued adding Master Kyroga and he took a ball of steel. With his right pincer, he created a hole in the sphere. He threw the ball of steel to the floor, which exploded at he was covered in black smoke.

The smoke was cleared and Master Kyroga wasnt there. A door infront of the group opened itself leading to a dark place. The whole group stood up and walked in the dark place. They were going to be in a big and difficult challenge. Everyone went in different directions. Scythes walked through a dark path and he found himself in a puzzle.

Scythes needed to clear a maze where he needed to knock out some Tyrogues. He hid in a shadow in a corner and waited for a Tyrogue to come. Like a hunter waiting for its prey. Scythes hit the wall with his scythe to make some noise. A tyrogue heard him and got closer to the shadow. whos the AHH! Scythes grabbed the tyrogue into the shadows where he knocked him out. He looked around and made sure no one was there.

Scythes used agility and ran to another shadow. There was a big room, and there were some tyrogues. Scythes studied the room perfectly. He attached himself to the ceiling using his scythes and feet. When he was in a shadow above a tyrogue, he stayed attached to the ceiling only with his feet and two scythes were seen going down to the tyrogue very slowly. He grabbed the tyrogue and threw him against the wall. Another tyrogue heard and Scythes hid his sharp arms in the shadow. He made the same thing with the other tyrogue.

Scythes crossed a few more halls and made it to a door. He opened and saw Master Kyroga and one young Scizor. good job Scythes I think you were capable of being the first one here, but you chose a longer challenge said Master Kyroga. The other young scizor, called Clawler, looked at Scythes. Scythes and Clawler are great friends, so Scythes sat down beside Clawler. After some minutes, everyone was there. Good job young ninja follow me to the other room said Master Kyroga and he opened a door and a room with many weapons and gear appeared.

Master Kyroga stopped and looked at everyone. This is the smoke grenade. You make a little hole and you throw it to the ground explained Master Kyroga as he made a hole in the steel and threw the sphere to the ground and it exploded, covering Master Kyroga in smoke. Master Kyroga walked through the smoke and estended his claw that had a smoke grenade. who wants to try? asked Master Kyroga.

Scythes raised his right arm and Master Kyroga threw the smoke grenade to him. Scythes caught the grenade stabbing the point of his left scythe into the grenade. With his right scythe moving across his left scythe, he threw the grenade to the floor and it exploded, and the smoke covered our hero in smoke. Master Kyroga how can pokmon create this smoke grenades? asked Clawler to their master. Master Kyroga smiled and explained steel-type pokmon make this sphere, fire-type pokmon fill the sphere before being made completely with smokescreen.

Master Kyroga made everyone return to the main room. After all being there, he looked at everyone. We have had enough for today return to your homes, young pokmon. I will see you all tomorrow said Master Kyroga to everyone as he sat down and started to meditate. good-bye Master Kyroga said Scythes together with everyone else as they walked out from the building. Clawler said good-bye to Scythes and he ran to his home. Everyone did the same, but Scythes walked normally.

Scythes reached his home, and her mother (a scyther), recieved him. Hello how are you? did you have fun in your training? said the mother of Scythes. Hi mom yeah, I learned new things, and yes, Im still learning from everyone else replied Scythes. Scythes knew that his mother didnt like that he watched other pokmon battle. It was night, and Scythes went to his room. It had many paints of scythers and pokmon fighting. Scythes got on his bed and closed his eyes. After some seconds of trying to picture himself being a great ninja, he fell asleep.


Oh well... that's the first chapter... I'm actually doign the second one. One warning... I will take longer than usual writers to write a fic. So... be patient with me... well... as I said before... I'm not good talking so... over and out.

July 12th, 2005, 6:56 PM
I was expecting Pokemorphs considering most of your RPs. I noticed that you posted 'hitted' in that chapter once, and that sometimes your characters' speech doesn't start with capitols. Some entences seemed like they didn't fit right, like 'continued adding Master Tyroga took a ball of steel'. I like it. I can't wait for more! And now, to take Kelsey's pet peev or whatever. So I don't put a really wierd explanation I'll just show you.
"Dude, you're so dead. Misty's gonna kill you," Gary said to Ash, who was creeping off. You put a comma like that when you end speech, except (Yeah. There always has to be an except with me.) when the person is asking a question. Another example.
"Why would she do that Gary? After all... wait. Why is she gonna kill me?" Ash asked, confused at this sudden burst from Gary.

Electric Hero
July 12th, 2005, 7:31 PM
I never wrote added master Kyroga took a ... added Master Kyroga and he took a... anyway... yeah... I possibly wrote hitted... my mistake..... I'm drunk XD.

July 13th, 2005, 5:55 PM
Heh, well it's certainly better than y fic. I was directed to basic fic guide. I can see why I was though. I can never get into a fictional stary like Pokemon or DBZ. Can't wait for more of Scythes adventures though!

Electric Hero
July 13th, 2005, 9:24 PM
Yeah... the only bad is... that I'm not going to continue .. XD nah just kidding!!! I prefer death than leaving this!! ... possibly... is just that... I read a fic of a scyther from being a baby until her circle was complete... oh I just wish creating a fic of a little baby scyther... it would be so cute... ahem... anyway... I just have some hours (because it hasn't been a day! XD) since I published my first part... and I already have like... the half of the second part... so... thanks for being my only friend here.

July 14th, 2005, 9:13 PM
Nicely done Max. I noticed several grammical mistakes. For instance you seem to be confused wether to use capitals or not. You type Scyther then you type scyther. Always type a name in capital letters. That counts for the word Pokemon too. Also you switched tenses once or twice but it's not a big thing. I do that sometimes by accident and catch myself when I go back through and read what I've typed. ^_^

The story itself is good. Good chapter length and a nice title. A little grammer work and it will be an excelent fic. A bit more description and character emotion wouldn't hurt either. Keep writing and post the next chapter soon. I think this will turn out to be a very interesting fan fiction.

Electric Hero
July 14th, 2005, 9:34 PM
I'm double-posting!!!!!! but to post another part... WARNING!!: this part introduces the meaning of killing and eating your prey... so... even it still doesn't have blood and any more mature content, I'm just telling you that here, a pokmon kills another pokmon and eats it. Don't worry... I say it again... there's not like mature content of too much detailed or something more brutal... just what I said... kills and eats... that's the only words I used. Anyway... here's my second part:

Part 2: The good-bye

The suns light hit Scythes face as it was rising. Scythes woke up and got up from his bed. He looked around and opened his rooms door and went downstairs. Yes, Scythes house had two floors. His mom was on a table eating a metapod. Scythes father was there too. He was a Scizor, and he was eating a butterfree. Good morning son, would you like to eat with us? asked his mother. Good morning and no, I will have my own breakfast replied Scythes leaving his home.

He walked through his village and his destination was the forest. After some minutes of walking around through the big village, he was infront of the forests entrance. He walked in and found himself in the forest again. Something about the forest: the forest is the entrance and exit to the Ninja Village.

He walked and found a small tree. It had a lot of leaves, so he tought a caterpie was there. Using Agility, he kicked the tree and then escaped to another trees branches. And Scythes plan was succesful, a caterpie fell from the small tree. Scythes head was looking at the ground, aiming at the caterpie. The defenseless caterpie walked slowly below Scythes. Scythes let some Toxic come out from his mouth and it hit the caterpie. Scythes hid fastly and the caterpie was poisoned. The little caterpie just had enough energy left to walk to another tree and then, his body was on the ground lifeless.

Scythes ,smiling, jumped to the tree where the little caterpie died. He jumped to the ground, and he stabbed the caterpies body with his rigth scythe and started to eat it. He walked back to his village and Scythers and Scizors and some Ninjask were staring at him. Some pokmon that knew Scythes smiled at him, and Scythes smiled back. They were happy a young ninja in training had killed his breakfast.

Scythes reached his home and his parents looked at him. They were happy their kid has finally killed his first breakfast. When Scythes finished his breakfast he sat on the table with his parents. this day is special, Scythes today you graduate from Master Kyrogas Ninja Academy said Scythes mother. thats right son and everyone will be there the whole village, son said Scythes father. Scythes nodded with a smile.

Scythes went back to the Ninja Forest to practice more before going to the last training. He slashed many trees, and knocked down many trees, too. But eventually it was time. The bell rang, and Scythes ran to the Ninja Academy. All the people was there and Scythes needed to hover above everyone to reach the academy. He went with the other students inside the building and everyone was excited. here Scythes its your cape said Clawler as he handed over a black cape to Scythes. thanks good luck replied Scythes extending his right arm for a shake. Clawler smiled and nodded and, took Scythes scythe with his right arm.

The last lesson was going to be in the backyard of the academy, and the students were just going to walk outside. excited Scythes? asked Clawler who was beside Scythes. All students had their capes and were ready to walk out. You bet replied Scythes. Some seconds later, the big doors opened. The light hit the darkness and the students started to walk out from the building. All the people pokmon of the village was there, behind some obstacles to make them stay away from the backyard.

The students stopped infront of Master Kyroga. Hello my young ninja. You are here to be finally, official ninja. Young pokmon lets this final lesson! BEGIN!! said Master Kyroga to the students. Master Kyroga makes all students make a line just some meters away from the walls of the academy. Many targets come out from the ground a target for each student. Master Kyroga started to order each student an attack to its respective target. The only things Scythes heard were Sartiz! Toxic! a scyther aimed to the target and launched a purple liquid to the target and it hit. Clawler! Metal Claw! Clawler crouched and started running against the target. He jumped and hit the target, destroying it.

you need more speed, youre made of steel, you just need speed to be invencible said Master Kyroga to Clawler as he walked back to his position. Scythes! False Swipe! Scythes started to run really fast and jumped before reaching the target. He made a Swords Dance in the air and landed behind the target with the attack, and finally destroyed the target with a slash and returning back to his position. Master Kyroga smiled at him and continued with the orders to the rest of the students.

The first test was over, the next one was to battle each other. After many battles, Scythes battle was the next one. Scythes against Clawler announced Master Kyroga. Master Kyroga believed in friendship, but he wanted that the best pokmon of the academy fought against each other. The two friends stood infront of each other, and Scythes knew it was going to be hard not just because Clawler is his friend Clawler was a steel-type pokmon.

FIGHT! yelled Master Kyroga. Clawler and Scythes got into a fighting position. Clawler started with a Metal Claw, but Scythes was faster and dodged it. Clawler kept doing the same attack, and Scythes continued dodging them. Scythes finally had plan. He let Clawler got closer, and jumped and landed on him. Clawler tried to knock him off, but Scythes put his arms around Clawler and he stayed there. He crouched and he was face to face with Clawler. He used Toxic and Clawlers eyes were damaged a bit.

aaahh!! My eyes!! my eyes! yelled Clawler and Scythes jumped off him. Clawler tried to clean his eyes with his claws, but he wasnt able. Besides being blind, he was poisoned. Scythes just looked how his friend tried to clean his eyes. take this off me! yelled Clawler. Scythes grabbed his friends claws and licked Clawlers eyes. um yummy, poison expressed Scythes as his friend was starting to see again. Scythes jumped backwards to continue the fight. Clawler nodded and got ready to fight again.

Clawler crouched and got weaker because of the poison. Clawler started to make the same attacks of before, and Scythes kept dodging them. Scythes knew that he was going to lose. After some minutes, Clawler fell to the ground defeated. Scythes win! announced Master Kyroga. That was the final battle, and there were some Chansey with them. They cured Clawler, and he was okay in some seconds. Scythes extended his right scythe and Clawler shook it.

Master Kyroga made all the students went back in the academy. Master Kyroga explained a lot about being a ninja. And after he explained, he made all the students walked out again. They found their dads with some things. Scythes noticed his father and ran to be with him. dad! what are these things? asked Scythes looking at some things covered by something black. go with your friends we will show you replied the dad who was very happy.

All the students made an horizontal line and their fathers gave them an offcial cape of the academy, a belt with some smoke grenades. Everyone but Scythes. Scythes step forward said Master Kyroga. Scythes stepped forward and his dad handed over the things. Scythes grabbed them and uncovered them. It was a bigger belt and it had a cape and a uniform. Scythes we know about your dream to leave the village and discover the world. So this will help you said his father. Scythes was so surprised their parents knew about his dream. As Scythes took his stuff, he asked how do you know that?. oh cmon you speak about that asleep and besides this is for being the first one in the training answered his dad. All the rest of the pokmon applauded when Scythes grabbed his gear. Master Kyroga stood infront of Scythes and vowed, and Scythes vowed back.

Last thing I remember from there, was Scythes packing everything he needed (which were a few things) in the new belt he got. He went downstairs with his belt just above the white part of his legs and everything was in it (suits and clothes in the rear pocket and gear in the other pocket). His parents were waiting for him. Son this is a map of Ritzu It will help you said his mother handing over a paper. Scyther took it carefully and put it away in the rear pocket. Scythes walked out of his house and many pokmon were there to walk with him to the Ninja Forest.

Clawler was waiting for him in the entrance of the forest. good-bye Scythes said Clawler. Scythes hugged Clawler and Scythes parents hugged him too. good-bye son said his father. Ill be fine and I promise to come back said Scythes turning to the forest. Scythes turned his head around and waved to everyone a good-bye with his left arm until he disappeared in the shadows of the forest. Scythes was now on his own and he planned to explore every corner of the big region.

After a while of being walking through the big maze of the forest, he heard many strange sounds. Even he was the hunter, he was the hunted now. A large Dodrio ran out of the bushes and stood infront of Scythes he decided to have a little scyther for dinner. Scythes took a fighting position, but the Dodrio was already making a complex plan using its three brains. The Dodrio charged against Scythes, and our young hero planned to dodge the attack and let the dodrio hit himself with a tree behind him, but Scythes didnt expect that a dodrio was so fast. The giant bird hit Scythes and he flew through the air until he hit a tree.

Scythes knew he wasnt experienced enough to beat the Dodrio, so he attacked the bird with Toxic in its eyes and ran away from it. But the Toxic just hit the head of joy, the other two heads were against Scythes now. Scythes ran as fast as he could, but dodrios were known by their speed. Scythes wings started to flap and our hero began to fly away from the dodrio. The Dodrio stopped and looked at Scythes. The dodrio jumped as high as Scythes was flying. Scythes hit him and the dodrio flew through the air until he hit really hard the ground. It looked at Scythes and ran away. Scythes sighed and looked at the forest. He needed be fast if he wanted to get out of there soon.

Suddenly, something hit him. He didnt know what hit him, and he hit the ground hard. He stood up and suddenly saw a Pidgeot landing infront of him. are you ok? Sorry, I didnt want to hit you said the beautiful big bird looking at our young mantis. you are not going to eat me? asked Scythes stepping back from the Pidgeot. no I already ate why are you so alone? replied the Pidgeot. Im going to explore Ritzu! replied back Scythes a bit excited. really? Me too I would like to join you but Im in a hurry if you need me Im in a city called Flying City but dont worry its not in the sky farewell said the Pidgeot flying away from Scythes.

Scythes smiled checked the map of Ritzu and there was one village before the Flying City. A village called The Chu village Scythes wondered what chu meant but he looked at the sky and it was already night. He saw a little caterpie infront of him. Scythes smiled and stabbed the little caterpie and started eating it. He decided to be hidden in the night, so he went between the trees and sat down below a big tree. Just as the young ninja finished eating his prey he stared at the black sky and started to imagine that he was flying. After some seconds, he fell asleep.



Alana... thanks for saying something... and yes... I do know this isn't perfect... and indeed, this fic is shorter than any fic that is in this section.... and I have some grammar mistakes and I get confused to write the species with capital letters too... but I do this for something... because I don't want to lose what I already have lost... description... that's why I'm doing this... a story needs description... and I'm losing that... I note that I sometimes write like "the caterpie appeared. And Scythes..." bla bla bla... and bit more of description would make that period disappear and would make the fic more interesting... I need a bit more of inspiration... but I'm doing okay... I wish to do this... and I wish to it right... and I plan to be a better writer... don't worry... and... thanks for bothering to write something ... thanks.

July 14th, 2005, 9:51 PM
Nothings perfect. ^_^ This chapter is good too. Same problems I noticed before but I don't feel like retyping them. Your spelling and story is good it's just grammer. But that's not what I pay attention to most in a story. If the fan fiction itself is good then I'm not too fussed with the grammer. Like I said before your story is good. Keep writing. I look forward to the next chapter.

Electric Hero
July 14th, 2005, 10:03 PM
Ya (with english accent... I just love it)... a bit of grammar and perfection... nah just kidding... I used to write really, really good... but PC came... and I got in love (for second time) of RPs... and I didn't started writing until... I came up with this... as I said before... I will follow something I read once... species will be like "the pidgeot are beautiful" and a name will be like "Now... Pidgeot! use Aerial Ace!" but I still don't know like in the Dodrio part... I don't know to write "the dodrio" or "the Dodrio" ... I will stick that in plural...I will stick with species without the "s" or "es". So... yeah... I need to be more emtional... but my weirdness it's a problem, because sometimes I can have inspiration... and a second later I'm sad... that alters my writing and I don't even feel the story. I need to write about the emotions of the characters... and not just their emtions. So... I know what my problems are... I just need to write more and I will be fine.

July 15th, 2005, 9:04 PM
I like the new edition, part thingymajiger. I noticed... something. But I just forgot it! I had it in my mind and then it goes and... wait.. remembering... yes! Okay, I noticed that you start sentences after sentences with the same starting word. More prticular, 'Scythes blah, blah, blah. Scythes blah, blah, blah. Scythes blah, blah, blah.' I try to ummm start with different words, sometimes. Try using a Thesouras(sp?) to see what synonyms are for Blah, or blah, or something. I can't wait for more.

Electric Hero
July 18th, 2005, 3:51 PM
ooc: Hurricane Emily is going to cross the Mexican Gulf... so like I live near the place where Emily is going to hit first... I'm possibly not going to be online so much like before... so... don't expect my next chapter soon... Hurricane Emily will sure make me take too long.