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February 28th, 2004, 8:21 PM
Life is an unexplored territory,
--------For mysteries lie in doubt,
For there is much to be seen.

For the clouds lie ahead, waiting,
---------Waiting for someone to stumble,
Waiting to show the darkness that had been,
---------Or will be.

Yet the Sun lies ahead, wanting,
---------Wanting for it to show its light,
Wanting for its chance to shine, and be seen.
---------And chance one will have, to see
---------Its brightness.

Life is exploring,
---------Finding the way, trying not to be trampled.
Yet there may be smog that clouds the gene,
---------Or there may be a sea
---------Of happiness.
Nothing is sure, the unexplored territory.


Untitled Poem I made many years ago...

February 28th, 2004, 8:32 PM
Ah, beautiful! I mean it! It is tremendously amazing! No angst; no despair, only a tinge of sadness. It's the perfect combination of happiness and sadness, making neutrality. Bravo! Although I do find you guitly of overusing 'for' and several of your adjectives. Pair your skills with a synonym finder for your next poem and your set! Once again, I really like this piece!

February 28th, 2004, 8:48 PM
Yeah. "for" is like a pet word that I use in poetry. Kinda need help on that lol. Thanks for the complement and constructive criticism.

February 28th, 2004, 8:52 PM
Yeah. "for" is like a pet word that I use in poetry. Kinda need help on that lol. Thanks for the complement and constructive criticism.
Always, and I'll be watching for any more of your writings. I really do enjoy reading them. So far at least. ^^

February 28th, 2004, 8:55 PM
Thanks. I'll try, I guess, to get some poems out with the random fic I have. lol

February 28th, 2004, 9:10 PM
-smiles- You are welcome, but I too must thank you for aspiring to write more for the viewing of fans. *^_^* By the way, I've left a little criticism on your fiction piece, though I really enjoy that as well.

February 28th, 2004, 9:14 PM
Saw that one. lol

The Dictionary/Thesaurus combo is NOT A GOOD DEAL. Doesn't even have the root words (I'm meaning the base Latin/greek word) in there (aka I don't know whether a word is truly a derivative until I find it somewhere else). grrr...

February 28th, 2004, 9:20 PM
Kenny C.002, lol, cool work. :P It's amazing and I hope to see more too. ^_^

February 28th, 2004, 9:26 PM
Try the Rodale Synonym Finder. It's twenty-six U.S. dollars; rather expensive, but well worth the money. It's excellent for writers and just happens to be my best friend, lol. Much better than a Dictionary/Thesaurus combo. ^^

February 28th, 2004, 9:28 PM
i'll try one past 12 midnight. I'm like asleep right now, still online. lol

Untitled (as usual)

The fantasy shifts
--to light
----to the bravest of the brave
------to what one truly desires

It is here that lays traps on oneself
--yet gives the person what he wishes
Fantasy is what one wishes for
--a mere dream

Done in 12 midnight. :P

February 29th, 2004, 9:01 AM
Hm... Well, I can tell you're tired. It's sloppier than your other. But I like the ideas in the context. So I'm kind of torn. >.< Good job on not overusing words, as well as the structure. Though it's shorter, the piece still details emotions that again, mix happiness and sadness. Bravo.

February 29th, 2004, 6:27 PM
I actually like depressing things, but I guess I've been letting go of that down here.

It's probably a good thing anyway. :P

John Denver
March 2nd, 2004, 8:55 AM
very very nice KC002...I think this is the second time I've seen you write...good stuff...

premium wheels are stocked at the BOO ya!

March 2nd, 2004, 7:58 PM
It's Dakota! :P

If you haven't noticed, I have been writing a fic that is largely unnoticed in the other RP/fic section. But yeah, I think it's the second time I've actually "published" anything. :D