View Full Version : Who Framed Pikachu?

Furious Chan
February 22nd, 2006, 4:55 PM
Sorry for the way this is presented. I didn't think it was right to spam with a post for each chapter. This also contains scenes that some people may find disturbing and carries an M rating (I guess.)

Who Framed Pikachu?

Chapter One

Pikachu sat on a deformed maroon plastic chair uncomfortably, his elbows propped precariously on the table. In front of him the wire mesh window obscured slightly the view of the door he was waiting to open. A clink of keys and the warden unlocked the door.
"Mr Pikachu is at that table" he announced, casually waving his hand in Pikachu's direction.
A man in a red cap and denim sleeveless jacket walked towards his table. The peak of the cap obscured the man's face but Pikachu knew very well who it was. He sat down awkwardly on an equally flimsy chair opposite.
"Pikachu!" He said sullenly "How are you coping with this??"
"Pika!" Pikachu replied in a cautious tone. After a long pause he continued, in a more urgent tone "Pika pika pikachu!"
"Pikachu..." Ash seemed ashamed "I needed some time to... think." He stopped for a moment "No... I'm not being honest. I entered an armature tournament in Saffron City to take my mind of this."
Pikachu felt renewed strength as he recalled the deep well of shared memories between them "Pika!"
Ash stared at Pikachu and his orange jump suit seemed to glow with new phosphorescence. He stood up and the chair creaked across the floor. He clasped his fingers in his palms and lifted his hand to the air.
"Pikachu! I know you could never do those things they said. I don't know how I could have doubted you. You were always there for me when I needed you and I abandoned you." Ash glared at Pikachu with intensity. A renewed confidence filled his inky eyes "I believe you when you say you were framed. I intend to do everything in my power to find out who framed you." "I've spoken to Brock and he agreed to come to the scene of the crime with me. Misty had her doubts but I think I can talk her around. Tomorrow we'll set off to the Indigo Plateau!"
Pikachu looked up from his despair with renewed hope. "Pikachu…" his eyes began to water but he held back the emotion. The friends didn't need to say any more. Ash nodded and walked to the door. He couldn't let his friend down.

Who framed Pikachu? Will our hero find out? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER TWO

Chapter Two

Pikachu lay awake on his bunk, thinking of Jigglypuff and cursing the fact that he had never told her how he felt. Except for that time he told he felt sick and then vomited over her. He yearned for the day when they could be reunited. Then all he had to do was get Ash and Misty together and then maybe they could share a nice Pokéball in the country somewhere and make lots of little Pikapuffs and Jigglychus.
However, he was awoken from his day dream by a guard banging his stick on the cell door. "The Governor wants to see you," said the guard. Pikachu leapt up and dashed out of his cell and up to the Governor’s office.

The Governor’s Office

"Now, look here Inmate 25, you're in for a life sentence,"
Pikachu nodded glumly.
"And you can do the time either the easy way or the hard way. And by the hard way I mean the beaten-constantly-with-sticks-and-having-your-buttocks-slashed-with-razor-blades way. Now, what's it to be? The hard way?"
Pikachu shook his head.
"The easy way?"
"Pika!" screamed Pikachu. He danced slightly.
"Excellent, I knew you'd see sense. And if you hadn't I'd have beaten some sense into you. Now obviously you're going to have do something for me,"
Pikachu nodded.
"Now, you're an electric Pokémon or so I have been led to believe,"
Pikachu nodded.
"Excellent. You see," said the Governor standing up and walking around his table waving his hand about "the generator that supplies us with the electricity we need to kill people in the Electric chair blew up last night due to gorilla activity - I try telling them not to go near it but will they listen. Stupid apes. Anyway, the point is we've a lot of people who need to be killed but no electricity to kill them with. So you've to report to Death Row immediately to start powering up the chair,"
Pikachu's face fell in horror.

What will happen next? Will Pikachu carry out the job? Will he be bumloved in the showers? Find out in CHAPTER THREE!

Chapter Three

Ash waited impatiently at the airport arrivals. His mind travelled back to his visit to Pikachu in the prison. "I'll help you Pikachu, that's what friends are for!" Ash raised a clenched fist to emphasise the point but realised that he wasn't actually there any more and embarrassedly put it down.
Then she appeared. Misty. The thing Ash loved most about Misty was her hair. The way it was so orange and how it hung in a way that defied the laws of physics. The only thing he feared was her hidden strength, ready to punch him in the face if she caught him gaping at her breasts. Then came Brock behind her. The thing he hated about Brock, apart from his rugged good looks, was the way he carried himself so confidently. Could he be any more smug?
"Hey guys!" Said Ash automatically "I hope you brought your Pokéballs, ‘cause we're gonna get those crooks who framed Pikachu!"
"Hey Ash" said Brock, in such an annoyingly sensible say "How'd you know that Pikachu didn't do it anyway?"
"How could you doubt him Brock? He's my best friend!"
"Yeah Brock." agreed misty, turning flirtatiously to look at Ash "How can you doubt Pikachu after all the times he's helped us defeat Team Rocket?" She pushed Brocks shoulder playfully
"Come on guys, the train for Indigo Plateau is leaving in 20 minutes. We need to hurry!" The three hurried through the anonymous concrete buildings to the municipal train station, coming closer to the centre of the mystery.

Will the plot actually progress? Will Ash defeat Brock and win Misty’s love? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER FOUR.

Chapter 4 - Warning may contain traces of nuts!

"Okay, now Number 25, if you'll apply the electricity we'll fry this bastard!" said Frank the Executioner. He was a man who loved his job and the many benefits that went with it. Such as a hood.
Pikachu sighed and fired off his electricity attack. Chikorita, who had been arrested and sentenced to death for being a dirty Commie, gave a shriek before swirls appeared in his eyes.
"Okay, Number 25 he's quite dead. You can stop now," Pikachu stopped frying Chikorita. "Now if you'll just help me getting him into this dicer... its body has to be at McPokies by three so they can turn it into Chikorita McNuggets,"
Pikachu helped Frank put the remains of Chikorita into the dicer. Frank pressed a button and the dicing started. Pikachu watched for a second before the sight made him vomit into the dicer.
"Hey!" said Frank angrily "They're not supposed to put the secret sauce on until it reaches the branch!"

Five Minutes Later

Pikachu trudged back to his cell, enduring calls of "Scab!" "Murderer!" and "Clefairy!" as he went. He hated working in the Execution room but at least it meant he spent his time the easy way. He reached his cell and lay down on the bed. He looked up to the ceiling and saw a note, scribbled hastily on it. The note simply read: "I know you are innocent. Don't give up. I'll contact you again shortly. A friend."
Pikachu beamed a huge smile. "Pika!" he cried in joy. He had a friend!

Will Pikachu's mysterious friend become less mysterious? Has Pikachu executed them accidentally by mistake? How will the Chikorita McNuggets go down? Find out in CHAPTER FIVE!

Chapter Five

Ash, Brock and Misty sat on the train to the Indigo Plateau, Misty playfully stroking Jigglypuff who was sitting in her lap. Brock ran his hands through his plastic hair whilst Ash wrung his hands, clenching and unclenching his fists. He was grinding his teeth and stamping his feet.
“Give it a rest Ash,” said Brock, leaning back and closing his eyes.
“Shut it Brock! He’s innocent and I’ll prove it!”
“Ash,” said Misty putting her hand on Ash’s knee and giving it a squeeze. “Brock’s right, there are more important things to worry about,”
“What’s more important than my best friend?” said Ash angrily.
“Well what about me?” asked Misty gently.
“What about you?” Ash spat back at her.
“I’m a woman Ash! I have needs!”
“Needs? Like what?”
“Well, for a start you could change your clothes occasionally. In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve just worn the same clothes day in day out,”
“I’d change them but I’ve worn them so long they’ve become fused to my skin and have their own blood supply,”
“Well aside from the clothes what about me Ash? I need you Ash more than anything,” Misty turned away “If some jumped-up rodent with a static electricity problem is more important to you than me, well then…” Misty trailed off. Ash hung his head and knew she was right.
“What do you think Brock?”
“I think, therefore, I am,” replied Brock.
“Oh great, Brock’s been at the Descartes again,” said Ash
The three of them stood up as the train rolled into the station. Jigglypuff gave an excited start. She was delighted that maybe her mistress, Misty and Ash would be getting together. It was what she wanted more than anything in the world, because it was what Misty wanted more than anything. She gave a Jiggly-Roll before jumping back into Misty’s arms. The doors slid open and the three of them gasped. Before them stood Team Rocket, the villains of villainy.

Will Team Rocket defeat our heroes? Are the not actually there for a fight but just busking and want some spare change? Will Brock discover the works of John “No man is an island” Dunne? Will Misty and Ash get it on? Find out in CHAPTER SIX!

Chapter Six

"Ha, we heard about what happened to your pesky yellow rat!" whimpered the purple haired James.
"You guys aren't going to get away with this!" Asserted Ash, his fist pumping vigorously
"Ash is right you know." chipped in the ever-knowledgeable Brock "You guys NEVER succeed in your evil schemes. Do you remember the time we were on the ship, and you tried to steal all the Pokémon, and then we went to a theme park, and there was a big fish and..."
"Get to the point you very boring man!" demanded Jesse
"...and then you got launched into the air and said that thing you always say, which escapes me at this moment."
"Looks like its time for Team Rocket to blast off again! AHHHHHH" Suggested Meowth helpfully, in his trademark Brooklyn slur.
"Yes, yes, that's it!"
"Haha haha!" laughed James in a camp manner "That's the genius of the plan you fools! This isn't our evil scheme at all and therefore isn't doomed to failure! Your chirpy jaundiced rodent will be walking down death-row before we can ruin it!"
"Grrrr!" said Ash through gritted teeth, growing ever furious "You better tell us what you know before we beat you into three shades of purple!"
"Hehehehehe" Shrieked Jesse "You'll have to catch us first!" And with that, Team Rocket ran foppishly down the road, with our heroes giving pursuit.

Will Ash, Brock and Misty catch Team Rocket and show them the back of Brocks hand? Why haven't I written about Pikachu this chapter? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER SEVEN!

Chapter Seven

Pikachu woke up the following morning and the first thing he saw was the note, scrawled on the ceiling of his cell. He gave a happy "Pika!" before grabbing his wash bag from the cold, ceramic sink and rushing off to the showers. All he could think about as he turned on the tap and felt the warm water washing his matted fur was the fact that he had a friend. He resolved to find them as soon as possible. Pikachu had completely forgotten about yesterday’s unpleasantness and as he rubbed the soap over his body he felt relaxed.
However, the voice behind him made him jump and drop the soap. Pikachu turned around to see the soap slide to a halt against another prisoner’s foot.
"Aww," he said sarcastically "Looks like the scab has dropped the soap. Here, use mine," the prisoner tossed Pikachu some more soap. Instinctively Pikachu caught it and felt a sudden tear of pain. He looked down into his paw and saw a deep cut in his palm. He looked at the soap - razor blades were embedded in to it. "Now," said the prisoner "We slash up that nice arse of yours,"
The prisoner drew a cut throat razor and advanced on Pikachu. Pikachu tried to fire off a thunderbolt but the water made him short-circuit. The other prisoners just laughed. However, they weren't laughing seconds later when a flash of blue knocked them all flat on the floor, the prisoners cut throat razor landing in his eye.
Pikachu was pushed out of the shower. He fell down some steps and when he finally halted, wet and soapy, he looked back at who had pushed him. It was Marril. The eyed each other for a second before Pikachu realised this was his friend. The two friends were so happy together that they danced for a bit, as all good friends should, before rushing off to discuss a plan that Marril had.

Will Pikachu's arse get slashed? Will Marril turn out to be a phoney? Will Pikachu and Marril put the plan into action? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER EIGHT!

Chapter Eight

"Hehe Hehehehehe" shrieked James "Those pipsqueaks will never catch us!"
"Quiet you fool!" Jesse growled angrily at him, giving James a swift slap across the top of his head "you'll jinx it!"


"Where'd they go?" asked Ash vacantly, practically standing there dribbling and saying 'duh’
"Well, if my patented inept villain detector is working properly, then they should be in that direction." said Brock, pointing in the direction of a stall selling vague oriental-looking food.
"Oh Brock, you're so clever. How do you find the time to invent such ingenious contraptions?" Misty replied, looking away from the direction of the useless Ash, who stood there growing furiously jealous inside.

A while later, Team Rocket stood at the end of an alleyway, sat around playing cards and talking.
*huff puff huff puff*
"We got you Team Rocket! There's no escape!" commanded Ash magnificently.
"Oh Jesse, I told you we shouldn't hide in this dead-end alleyway." accused a terrified James.
"Quiet you fool!" said retorted. Jesse never taking responsibility for anything was a problem in their relationship.
"Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!" shouted Ash. "This is MY chance to look impressive in front of Misty now! GO BULBASAUR!"
Ash lobbed a Pokéball at the feet of Team Rocket. A flash, and Ash's third favourite Pokémon, Bulbasaur appeared.
"Oh no!" said James, his voice cracking. "Go Koffing!!"

Will team Ash beat team Rocket? Will Ash's Bulbasaur impress Misty? What is Team Rockets big secret? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER NINE

Chapter Nine

"Bulbasaur!" Screamed Ash, "Whip them into shape! Use Vine whip!" Ash thought this was a very good play on words
"BULBA BULBA" cried Bulbasaur, launching himself into the battle in slow motion.
"Get them now, you fool" said Jesse, slapping James about the face with a kipper.
"I can't! It's turn-based combat"
Brock, who until then had just stood there trying to look tough, suddenly had a realisation. "Look out, Team Rocket ahead!"
Bulbasaur extended two snaking, whipping vines from his back, wrapping up Koffing. Koffing remained bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing.
"Koffing" he exclaimed morosely. "Koffing"
James decided to take action "Koffing, sludge attack!"
Koffing looked at James, then at Bulbasaur, and sighed. Why did it always come to this? Wasn't there a better way?

Will Koffing fight like he's supposed to? Will Ash emerge victorious? Will Jesse and James resolve their differences and open a fish and chip shop in Woking? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER TEN!

Chapter Ten

Meanwhile, Pikachu and Marril were hard at work on their rehabilitation work programme. Because they were such good inmates, the warder, Machop, had given them the herb garden, whereas the Onix (who was in for violent assault and rape, and had a bad attitude) had been sentenced to breaking Geodudes.
"Marril, Marril," said Marril, happily spraying water on the herbs.
"PIKA!" Pikachu fried a carrot with a thousand-megawatt blast of Lightning. Marril looked sad, and Pikachu started to cry; he'd never been much good at gardening.
But! The thunder bolt had speared a passing Fearow, which fell to the ground, stunned. Suddenly bold, Pikachu jumped onto the Fearow's back, beckoning Marril after him. Marril brought the Fearow back to its senses with a quick blast of water; the Fearow, feeling two strange bodies on its back, began to fly...
"Pika!" said Pikachu as they soared over the walls. But as they did, they saw one of the guards look up and see them. The alarm was sounded! Marril looked back... From the tower, three dark silhouettes emerged. The prison's emergency Charizards had been released.

Will Pikachu and Marril escape? Will Ash be reunited with his best friend? Will Marril come to love Pikachu despite his violent and possibly wife-beating ways? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER ELEVEN!

Chapter Eleven

The wild Fearow squawked as a warning Fire Blast flew past his wing, singeing his feathers slightly. Turning into a powerful dive, Marril was flung over Pikachu's head who just managed to get a tiny paw wrapped around his little buddy's springy tail. Cheeks crackling with electricity he said "Pika!" threateningly into the Fearow's ear, who started to rise again. Allowing Pikachu to flip Marril back onto the Fearow's back. The little blue pokémon clung tight to the Fearow's feathers and closed his eyes tight.
The Charizards, who had been thrown off initially by the Fearow's erratic and much more agile flying, were catching up again, and powerful Fire Blasts filled the sky. Pikachu wanted to just let loose with a Thunder attack, but he didn't want to risk downing the Fearow again, let alone risk hurting Marril, who as a water-type was incredibly vulnerable to electricity.
"Pika!" that was it! Marril was a water-type!
Turning to his friend Pikachu could see that he was terrified but he knew this was their only choice.
"Pika, pik-a pik," he said softly, placing a paw on Marril's back, "Pika!"
Marril opened his eyes and looked up into Pikachu's soft, innocent face. He couldn't let him down.
"MARRIL!" he said dramatically and jumped to his feet, causing the Fearow to squawk in pain. Giving Pikachu a hug he turned and stood on the Fearow's tail and stared at the three giant fire pokémon pursuing them.
He was lucky, although he hadn't felt it at the time, that a large butch Blastoise had taken a shine to him in the clink and taught him a very powerful move that a guy like him wouldn't normally know, just in case.
Swelling up his cheeks he felt the energy growing inside him and then fired out a huge glowing beam of pure water energy. Pikachu fell onto his bum in shock, a Hydrobeam attack! He would never have guessed that his little friend would know something like that.
The glowing beam passed over each of the Charizards in turn, blasting them each with so much energy that they jerked to a stop in mid-air and then plummeted ground wards. When he was finished Marril fell backwards, exhausted. Pikachu rushed to his side and hugged him tightly, Marril could only smile weakily. He couldn't believe it; he'd taken out three fully grown Charizards with a single attack!
Suddenly glowing balls appeared around him, only one or two at first but much more started appearing, surrounding Marril in a blinding glow, Pikachu had to stand back and shield his eyes. Peeking between his fingers he gasped in shock as he saw Marril's silhouette slowly start to change shape.

What is happening to Marril? Will the Fearow hold up under all this stress? Will Pikachu ever make it back to Ash or will he decide instead to run off to some tropical paradise with his new 'friend'? FIND OUT THE ANSWER TO THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE IN CHAPTER TWELEVE!

Chapter Twelve


As James commanded, Koffing leaked his grimy load unto the battlefield.
"BULBA *cough* BULBA *cough cough* BULBASAUR" said Bulbasaur in a gravely voice.
"Oh Ash! Why do you let him smoke all those cigarettes?" said a self-righteous misty.
"I compromise! He asks for Cigars! Anyway, it's Koffing's attack that's doing that." he replied
"Hmmph, you just can't afford cigars. Now do something!"
"I know, Bulbasaur, use your vine whirl. That should blow the smoke away!"
At this, Bulbasaur gathered his vines up and spun them around but the only effect this had was to billow smoke into the face of Ash and his friends.
"Well this sure is a LOW VISIBILITY situation, eh guys?" joked Brock.
"I don't get it." said a blank-faced Misty
On the other side of the battlefield Team Rocket were in jubilant mood.
"Ha, that'll teach those pip-squeaks for making us into the biggest failures ever, time and time again!" screeches James
"We should get out of here before the inevitable happens and they turn defeat into victory" suggested Meowth.
"No, no! This time I have a feeling we're going to win." said Jesse, stopping his escape with her fist.
At that moment a rumbling sound was heard and a huge lorry trundled past the short alleyway at an awesome speed having the effect of blowing all of Koffing's smoky attack away from Bulbasaur and into the face of Team Rocket.
"Haha, we've got them. Go team!" shouted Ash.
"Woo!" whooped Misty.

What will Team Rocket reveal to Ash and the gang? Will Ash buy Bulbasaur some fine Cuban cigars? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Chapter Thirteen

Pikachu looked on in horror. He knew what was happening to his friend. He knew he was evolving but he also knew that, deep down, once Marril had changed he wouldn't be the same. He wouldn't be the same care free, fun loving water Pokémon that Pikachu had grown to know and love. After all they'd been through together to lose the one person who had stood by him, his friend, was too much for Pikachu to contemplate. He looked down at Marril. He saw Marril’s face begging Pikachu to do something.
"PIKA!" yelled Pikachu. Having long decided himself that he was going to evolve into Raichu he know hoped to give someone else the same privilege. People were always telling him, thought Pikachu, that he had to evolve, that he had to become more powerful. But Pikachu didn't believe them. He wanted to be himself and his weaknesses made him who he was. He was happy being who he was. He charged up a massive ball of lightening and zapped Marril.
"MARILLLLLLLLL!" screamed Marril in pain. Pikachu tried to ignore the scream and the tears rolling down his face. He zapped Marril again. He stopped and began to pant.
"Pika?" he asked. Marril had stopped glowing. He was his old self again.
"Marril," replied Marril weakly.
"Pika," said Pikachu tenderly and he really meant it.
Unfortunately, whilst this rather touching scene was going on the Fearow that they had been riding on had burst into flames, mainly due to Pikachu's lightening but also due to the fact that it was filled with highly flammable stuffing. It plummeted down into a forest, Pikachu and a very weak Marril still on its back.

Will Marril and Pikachu survive the fall? Will Pikachu be able to save Marril’s life? Will the Consumer Watchdog Agency be notified about the highly flammable nature of Fearow’s? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER FOURTEEN!!

Chapter Fourteen

*splutter cough cough splutter*

James hung his head in shame, looking disappointedly at Koffing who had let him down once again. "Koffing, why are you so useless?" James stamped up and down on the ground.
At that moment, Bulbasaur, in a fit of bloodlust launched a final attack at team rocket.
"Bulbasaur, No! We won’t be able to find out why Pikachu has been framed if you do that..." but it was too late, team rocket had been launched into the air.
"It looks like its time for Team Rocket to blast off again." shouted the slowly disappearing voice of Meowth.
"Bulbasaur..." sighed Ash "No tobacco for you today!"
"Bulba." mourned Bulbasaur
Misty, staring dumbfounded at where Team Rocket had been stood then saw a singed note floating down from the sky. She walked over to pick it up, wafting it lightly to put out the last embers, wondering how it had gotten burnt in the first place.
"Look at this Ash, it looks like Team Rocket dropped it." she said, handing him the note.
Ash read aloud:

Dear Meowth
The plan is going ahead as... planed.
I have planted the evidence to frame Pikachu
All that remains for you to do is to stop his friends
finding out the truth.

Lots of love, J. xxx

Above the note was the header: Pokécentre notepaper, property of Vermillion City Pokécentre, 1372 Squirtle Crescent.
"The plot thickens!" muttered Brock, nibbling the end of Bulbasaur's confiscated pipe.

And so our heroes journey on to Vermillion City where the conspirator of our plot surely resides, or will they? (Yes, they will) Will Team Rocket return? What manner of beast would wish to frame Pikachu? FIND OUT IN CHAPER FIFTEEN!!!

Chapter Fifteen - The Erotic Awakening of Pikachu

Groggily Pikachu opened his eyes. It had started to rain and he had to shield his eyes with his paw. The crash landing had been hard, or rather, the ground had. He rolled over and looked over at his two companions. Fearow was dead - burnt to a crisp and his neck broken. Marril was lying next to him, soaking wet but still breathing. He looked awful. Pikachu could tell unless he took him to a Pokédoc that Marril wouldn't survive much longer. Pulling himself to his feet Pikachu picked up Marril and looked around.
In a rather large coincidence, Pikachu and Marril had managed to land right next to a sign post, directing them to the nearest city. In an even bigger coincidence, this just happened to be Vermillion City. Pikachu, his friend in his arms, set off towards the city.
However, they hadn't gone more than a few paces (well Marril hadn't gone any as he was being carried but that's beside the point) when they heard a voice from the woods.
"Hur, hur, hur," said the husky, dirty voice.
Pikachu stopped, his eyes bulging with fear. He knew who the voice belonged to. All Pokémon knew who that voice belonged to.
The Poképerv stepped out of the forest and on to the road.
"Hur, hur, hur," he laughed, "I, J. King, the Poképerv want you!" He grinned.
"Pika!" cried Pikachu in terror. All Pokémon were warned about the Poképerv, a dirty old man who lived in the woods, who trapped innocent Pokémon and then used them to tempt innocent young boys to his shack in the woods. "Pika!" cried Pikachu, charging up a lightning bolt. However, he had no time to fire it off, as the Poképerv used his snaggling skills and threw a Pokéball at Pikachu capturing him and Marril.
"Hur, hur, hur,"
Unfortunately for Pikachu, Pokéballs aren't like the TARDIS, being the same size on the inside as they are on the out. As Pikachu tried to remove his leg from his nose in the Pokéball, the Poképerv moved slowly back into the forest.

Will Pikachu and Marril escape the clutches of the Poképerv? Will he have his wicked way with them? Will Pikachu require regressional hypnotherapy to be able to recall his experiences sufficiently to help the police convict the Poképerv should they catch him? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER SIXTEEN!

Chapter Sixteen

Meanwhile, on the road to Vermillion City

Ash was running alongside Brock, with a few of the more health-conscious Pokémon kept up a steady jog/slither/glump. Misty was riding a bike. Oh how they loathed her.
Suddenly, Brock stopped.
"Danger!" he said, pointing forward and choking as he inhaled Bulbasaur's pipe.
A passing Sandshrew considered this an excellent time to ambush.
"If Pikachu were here, we could fail horribly trying to shock this creature, you know" said Ash, wistfully.
"Just SHUT UP!" Screamed Misty. "This whole thing is tediously formulaic. I'm going to kick the crap out of this little runt and no-ones going to stop me! Go HORSEA! Use the weakest water-based attack you have, horsea!"
There was the sound of a sandshrew fainting.
"Ha! Now, capture time!" Misty threw a Pokéball, capturing the unfortunate creature in its tiny prison.
"Misty, this is a touch sadistic" said Brock between bouts of coughing
Misty just looked forward with darkened eyes. "Mwaha...mwuhahahhahaha!"
"Oh God, she's turned to the dark side!" shouted Ash

Will the crossover between movie and cartoon never end? Will Ash think of something interesting to do? Will the adventure ever end? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Chapter Seventeen

The Poképerv tossed the Pokéball down into his basement. With a flash Pikachu emerged, as did Marril who lay semi-conscious on the floor. From the top of the stairs, silhouetted in the doorway, the Poképerv sneered.
"I'll be back for you soon enough," he said to the two friends.
"PIKA!" cried Pikachu, firing off a lightning bolt. It hit the Poképerv but seemed to have no effect. Pikachu launched another one and a third, both with the same result. The Poképerv started to laugh.
"Ha ha! And to think they said I was too old to be wetting my pants. My rubber trousers save the day again!"
He slammed the door shut with a cackle. Pikachu turned to Marril and stroked him affectionately. However he gave a start when a shaped moved in the darkness under the stairs (which was even darker than the darkness in the room in general) and a low growl emanated from the general direction. Pikachu took guard.

What is the mysterious shape in the darkness making growling sounds? Has the Blair Witch returned? Is it a small child armed with a trowel? Why was this such a short chapter? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER EIGHTEEN!

Chapter Eighteen

After Misty having captured Sandshrew, the gang continued towards their inevitable goal in Vermillion City.
"So, who'd you think that letter is from?" queried Brock to the others, placing the palms of his hands on the back of his head as they walked along.
"I don't know" mused Ash "Maybe the J stands for Juvenile offender. Perhaps the writer wants to mask they're criminal record!" he exclaimed
"Don't be stupid Ash" sighed Misty "Maybe J stands for Japanese Pervert, y'know like the Poképerv"
"I thought he was in Prison" replied Ash
"I know guys!" said Brock suddenly "Maybe it's a Pokémon, like Jinx or the second name of a Pokémon like Charizard Jones?"
"You're forgetting that it's written on Pokécentre notepaper, it could be Nurse Joy!" piped in Misty
"How dare you slander my love!?" Sobbed Brock into his hands

Will they ever find out who wrote the note? Will Brock stop blubbering like a ladyboy and find some balls? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER NINTEEN!

Chapter Nintendoteen

Pikachu crouched down over Marril to protect him. The groan came closer and into the light. Pikachu relaxed. It was a pink Care Bear, a heart on its chest. It was old, worn and had chains around its wrist.
"Please," said the Bear, whose name was possible Sir Lovealot or something equally sickening "You must flee. He will destroy you,"
"Pika!" cried Pikachu, pointing at Marril.
"Oh yes," said the Sir Lovealot "I see you have a lot of love inside you. I did too, once. Now..."
Sir Lovealot touched its chest. The heart on it merely glowed slightly.
"He destroyed me. All the love I had inside is gone."
"Pika pik!" shouted Pikachu, pointing from himself to Sir Lovealot and then to Marril.
"No," replied the bear, scratching its face with its claws, causing blood to flow. It didn't seem to care.
Suddenly there was a bang at the door. It was the Poképerv, back for some perversion.
The bear looked at Pikachu.
"I'm sorry," it said, blood mingling with the tears that had started to flow. "I... I just..." It started to climb the stairs out. The Poképerv was trying to find a key to the door. "I just can't..." Pikachu now saw that the chain was around the bear’s neck. It attached one end to a hook. It looked at Pikachu "I'm sorry," it said before leaping off the stairs. There was a sickening crack.
Then the door opened and the Poképerv walked in.

Will the Poképerv pervert Pikachu and Marril? Will they find a way to escape? What was Sir Lovealots real name? Can this story get anymore disturbing? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER TWENTY!

Chapter Twenty

Meanwhile, in another place away from there perversions of all things pure, the Poke-team continued on their journey and at last seemed to reach the outskirts of Vermillion city.
"Now where's the local Inn, guys?" asked Brock "I'm sure beat."
"Yeah, and I need to stock up on Pokéballs at the Pokéshop" said Misty
"Well I heard that you can get Pokéballs half price at Pokémon Pete's Dangerously Discounted Poke-emporium and merchandise" stated Brock with authority.
"Yes, but they're dangerously discounted for a reason! His health potions only heal 10 hit points, and his Pokéballs can crush the bones of larger Pokémon, like a Raichu or something." replied Misty, waving away Brock's suggestion.
At that moment, a short man in an oversized mac. appeared in front of them from behind the corner of a filthy bar.
"Do y' want to buy any Magikarp?" he asked, pulling out the side of his coat, revealing inside it three rows of limply flailing Magikarp "Only 10 gold pieces each" he continued.
"Hey, don't try to rip us off" yelled Ash, fist pumping in fury "We're not rookie trainers. How dare you!"
"Hey, don't get like that" he replied "I just thought you might have liked one for you ornamental carp pond" he shrugged, before walking off into the city again
"Ash, you upset him. How could you?" said Misty teasingly
"Hmmph" fumed Ash
"Hey guys, I see the Pokécentre that note was written on in the distance. Let’s head out"

Will the team reach the Pokécentre without being accosted by more ornamental carp salesman? Will Misty and Brock reveal their secret passions for Ash? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER TWENTY ONE!

Chapter Twenty-One

The Poképerv walked heavily down the stairs, ignoring the hanging corpse of Sir Lovealot. His cowboy boots clinked on the stairs, each clink sending a shiver down Pikachu's spine. He laughed manically as Pikachu backed away, standing guard over Marril.
"Ha ha! This ones still poorly?" asked the Poképerv with an evil grin on his face "Well I better have my wicked way with him first then hadn't I?"
He swung his fist and sent Pikachu flying into the wall. "Stay in the corner!" ordered the Poképerv, looking at Pikachu with evil in his eyes. Pikachu turned away, unable to look at what was going to happen to his friend. However, then he heard a sound that filled him with hope. The sound of a zip and trousers being pulled down.
Pikachu turned around with his eyes closed - he had hope but he didn't want to see what was happening. He charged up a lightening bolt. The Poképerv had obviously heard him because he started to laugh.
"Ha ha! You really are stupid! My rubber pants will protect me! Oh crap..."
Pikachu let off his biggest lightening bolt ever, sending the Poképerv back against the wall and melting his rubber pants to his ankles. Stars appeared in his eyes and he was dead. Pikachu rushed over to Marril to check he was alright. Luckily he was.
"Pika!" cried Pikachu and did a happy dance. Now he just had to get Marril better and find Ash and find who had framed him and then deliver hard justice to them. He decided he had better make a list.

Will Pikachu find a way to heal Marril? Will he work out where Ash is in time? Will Pikachu remember to report the Poképerv to the local authorities so they can administer hard justice? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER TWENTY TWO!

Chapter Twenty Two

Ash, Misty and Brock arrived at the Pokécentre, having survived the horrors of Vermillion City's streets. The only casualty was Brock who had been tempted into swapping his beans for some magic cows, having got the fairy tale arse-about-face, and who was now discovering that magic cows weren't all the were cracked up to be - for a start the bean stalks growing out of their backs kept getting caught on power lines and now he was down to his last one. However, the sight of Nurse Joy cheered him up.
"Joy!" he cried before noticing that Team Rocket were also here. "Oh, Jesse, James," he said with a nod.
"TEAM ROCKET!" they cried and punched the air. Ash let out a sigh. He was missing Pikachu and these two were the last people that he wanted to see.
"Hello Ash, Misty, Brock!" said Nurse Joy, causing Brock to turn a bright scarlet "Have you heard the news?"
"News? What news?" asked Misty, putting Jigglypuff and Psi-duck down on the floor. The two toddled off somewhere.
"The Poképerv! He's finally been caught!" said Joy dancing around.
"Excellent!" said Misty, punching the air.
"Plus, the police rescued a Pikachu and a Marril and are bringing them here!"
"Pikachu?!" cried Ash with delight.
"No!" screamed Jesse and James together "It can't be!"
Misty and Brock smiled at Ash, happy for him, happy to see him happy. Jesse and James slunk out of the building muttering something under their breath. Nurse Joy retreated into the back of the Pokécentre to prepare something. Excitedly Ash began to talk about what he'd do when the person he loved more than anyone in the world returned to him.


The phone was answered.
"Hello? You've sent a rapid dispatch team with a note? For me?"
A note was slid under the door.
"Thank you,"
The phone was put down. The note was picked up and read.
"The plan is failing. Pikachu returns once more. He must not be reunited with the idiot Ash. See to it. J"

Who is the mysterious J? Who is the mysterious recipient of the mysterious note from the mysterious J? FIND OUT IN THE MYSTERIOUS CHAPTER TWENTY THREE!

Chapter Twenty Three

The rain had started to fall and it hard started to fall fast. Night had fallen on the road to Vermillion City. The full moon and flashes of lightening illuminated the police van that was transporting Pikachu and Marril to the city. The road had turned from solid dirt track into a squelching, flowing messy mass of mud.
"Can't wait to get back to the city!" said one of the officers, named Dan.
"You're right there Officer Dan," replied Officer Keith "I can't wait to my wife again,"
Up ahead the moonlight glinted off a lens but neither of the officers noticed. In the back of the truck Pikachu stroked Marril's forehead and looked at the wall, longing to arrive and wanted to be with Ash. As he looked, moon-light passed through the hole in the wall where the bullet penetrated the van. Then the screams from the front of the van.
"Officer down! Officer down!"
Pikachu looked up and tried to find somewhere or something to help him.


Hitman Chan put down the rifle and advanced on the stricken police van. He pulled out an automatic pistol and shot the two officers. He walked round the back of the van and ripped open the doors, expecting to find Pikachu and Marril. All he found was an empty bed and medical equipment.

Where have Pikachu and Marril gone? Will Hitman Chan find them and put a 9mm hollow point bullet in each of their heads? Will Pikachu and Marril escape and make it to Vermillion City for a reunion with Ash? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR!

Chapter Twenty Four

At the Pokécentre, everything was being made ready for the arrival of Pikachu and Marril. Nurse Joy had brought some blankets from her bed, which Brock was sniffing appreciatively. Jigglypuff and Psi-duck had made a "Welcome" banner and Misty had made coco for everyone.
Ash sat in a corner, a smile fixed on his face like a giant white pasty. He took his cap off and ran his hand through his hair. Finally Pikachu was coming back to him. Once that happened they could start working out who framed him.
"Coco Ash?" asked Misty walking over to him, a mug in each hand.
"Thanks," replied Ash, taking one of the mugs and giving the hot liquid inside a cooling blow. He took a sip, which burnt his tongue. "This is great coco,"
"You think so?" said Misty, delighted.
"Yeah, I do," replied Ash "You know Misty, pretty much everything you do is great,"
Misty blushed as Ash took another sip. He was so happy that Pikachu would be coming back that he'd lost his inhibitions; lost the awkward embarrassment that had stopped anything happening between him and Misty before.
"Thanks Ash," she replied squeezing his hand gently. "I think you're pretty great too,"
"You do?" asked Ash "I always thought you thought I was a klutz, immature, that sort of thing."
"Ash," said Misty calmly picking up Jigglypuff who had wondered over to her "I've never thought that about you. Well, maybe I thought you were immature when you kept pulling down Brock's trousers, and maybe even a little gay, but I've always... always... I've always..."
Misty stammered on the final word she wanted to say. How could it be so hard to tell Ash how she felt? In her hands Jigglypuff purred and closed her eyes.
"I know Misty," replied Ash, turning his face away. "I've... always felt..."
However, Ash wasn't able to finish the sentence. At that moment a burly police man rushed into the Pokécentre.
"Oh boy-howdy!" he exclaimed "It sure is terrible!"
"What is?" asked Nurse Joy. The policeman's arrival had everyone's attention - even Brock had looked up from the sheet he was sniffing.
"There's been a shooting on the old forest road. That police escort that was bringing the two Pokémon here,"
"Pikachu!" cried Ash leaping up "Is Pikachu okay?"
"Don't know son," replied the policeman "No Pokémon were found at the scene. Anyway, I've got to be going. There's a murderer on the loose,"
"Ah, off out to catch him officer?" said Brock with admiration.
"Not likely! I want to get home before he has a chance to get here!"
With that the policeman left, leaving everyone shell shocked (especially Squirtle who had been playing with an electrical socket).

Will Ash and Misty ever express their love for each other? Will Pikachu be found alive and well? Will the policeman make it home in time or will he be brutally murdered by a Jack the Ripper type or failing that a monkey with a straight-razor? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE!

Chapter Twenty Five

Hitman Chan cursed to himself as he climbed into back of the police van. He turned over blankets and threw medical equipments at the wall. How could he have left his quarry evade him? Especially as it was a large surface excavation for the extraction of stone and had a specific, never changing geographical location. He decided there and then that he was going to have to learn how to read a map. However, before he could write it down he fell forward with a lurch as the van started moving.
Standing up, he looked through a small wire grill into the driver’s cabin. In there, standing on the unconscious form of Marril, was Pikachu driving the van, the dead body of one of the policemen pressing down on the accelerator.
"Clever girl!" said Chan in awe.
"Pika!" cried Pikachu angrily - he wasn't a girl.

Further on down the road, on the outskirts of Vermillion City was a police checkpoint. The two officers lazed against the barrier, smoking. They heard the van before they saw it.
"Van coming,"
"Stop it?"
"Sure, why not?"
"Don't look like it's stopping,"
"It'll stop for us,"
"We have fluorescent tabards,"
However, Pikachu couldn't stop even though he desperately wanted to compliment the men on their tabards. "Pika!!" he cried and closed his eyes, bracing for impact. The barrier splintered and the van shot through into Vermillion city, Hitman Chan now on the roof and slowly clawing his way towards the driver’s cabin.
Back at the road block, the two policemen picked themselves out of the dirt.
"Well, the tabards didn't work,"
"No, I'm disappointed really,"
"Maybe we need something with more stopping power?"
"You mean like a whistle?"
"Ooh! A whistle and maybe some kind of orange baton!"
"I'll phone the boss!"

Will Pikachu be able to stop the van in time? Will Hitman Chan make it to the cabin before our heroes can make it to our other heroes? Will the police get their new equipment or will they be hampered by crippling under funding, financial mismanagement and lack of stock due to the high demand for whistles and orange batons? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

Chapter Twenty Six

Everyone rushed outside from the Pokécentre, Brock trailing one of Nurse Joy's sheets as he went. They stood on the pavement and in the distance saw the two bright headlights of the police van coming straight towards them. The silhouette of Hitman Chan was visible on the roof. It was quite a large co-incidence, given that in the whole of Vermillion City the van should happen to be going out of control on the same road as where the Pokécentre was located. There is the possibility that it was due to fate, due to some mysterious higher being pushing around pieces on a game board, or it could just be due to laziness.
However, Ash and Misty weren't concerned with such things. They were more concerned with the fact that the van was head straight towards them.
"It's heading straight towards us!" cried Misty
"Does anyone have a fluorescent tabard?" asked Ash, turning to the group. Everyone shrugged.
"Too late!" cried James. The van was right on top of them. Everyone jumped, with the exception of Team Rocket, who merely cowered on the spot as is their wont.
The van smashed into Team Rocket, sending them flying through the window of the Pokécentre. "Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" they screamed. There was the clash and clang of pans and kitchen utensils being smashed before silence.
Outside, the van had been brought to a halt by the walls of the Pokécentre. Pikachu climbed down from the cab, dragging Marril with him. When Ash saw Pikachu, dusted, broken and bruised, tears filled his eyes. However, tears of joy soon turned to tears of fear as Hitman Chan appeared behind Pikachu his gun raised.
"Pikachu!" cried Ash, as three shots rang out.

Is Pikachu dead? Has Hitman Chan succeeded in his quest? Have Jesse and James destroyed Nurse Joy's kitchen meaning no-one can get a hot meal in the near future until Nurse Joy has time to go to PokéIkea for a new one? Will this joke work now that our heroes have been reunited? FIND OUT IN THE FURIOUSLY AWESOME CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN!

Chapter Twenty Seven

The fading echoes of the shots were they only sound as everyone stood in stunned silence. As they faded away they were replaced by a gurgling of blood and a thump as the body of Hitman Chan fell to the floor, three bullets in his back, revealing Brock, gun in hand and arms extended.
"Brock!" cried Misty with a gasp. She put her hands to her mouth in surprise.
Brock lowered the gun and then his head.
"Ash..." he said in shame "I swore I'd never raise my gun again, not since I went mad and killed my family, but today, I broke the promise I made to myself,"
"Brock!" gasped Nurse Joy gripping his arm.
"No! Unhand me woman! I have betrayed myself and now must commit ritualistic suicide shooting myself in the head and falling in front of traffic,"
"But Brock!" said Nurse Joy, as Ash looked on, Pikachu in his arms "You betrayed yourself to hurt an evil man and to ensure the happiness of your closest friend. That's more important than any promise you made to yourself,"
Brock thought for a moment before laughing.
"Hey you're right!" he chuckled, firing off a few shots by accident.
"Oh Brock!" said everyone affectionately as Brock shook his head and showed how silly he'd been.
However, soon reality kicked back in. They had to help Marril, whom Nurse Joy scooped up in her arms and took inside. They also needed to find out who had framed Pikachu - they had to find out who the mysterious J was.
Knowing this Ash took out his cell and dialled the number of the best detective he knew - Charlie Chan.

Will Marril survive? Does anyone care if (s)he does? Will any more demons from Brock's past resurface and force him to commit ritualistic suicide? Does including a fictitious detective from the 1940s alienate the majority of Pokémon's intended target audience? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT!

Furious Chan
February 22nd, 2006, 4:58 PM
Chapter Twenty Eight

Everyone was once again gathered in the Pokécentre, all sitting around the edge of the room whilst Charlie Chan stalked around in the middle pondering. Ash held Pikachu in his arms, whilst in a back room; Marril lay in a serious but stable state (although this didn't actually relate to his medical condition, which was fine. What it meant was that he was in a stable, with a grim expression on his face, as he tried to out-stare some cows.)
"One of you in this room," began Charlie Chan, stopping suddenly and pointing at everyone "is... a murderer!"
Everyone gasped. Then everyone became confused.
"We're not looking for a murderer," said Misty, who was cradling Jigglypuff in her arms.
"We're looking for the mysterious J - the guy who framed Pikachu!" said Ash
"Pika!" said Brock
Everyone turned to look at him.
"Sorry, I got excited,"
Charlie Chan let out a low murmur of thought. "Well, it seems to me the main suspects are Team Rocket, both Js and both cads,"
"Hey!" they cried in unison, having recovered from blasting off again.
"Don't worry," said Charlie Chan "It was not you. You are desperate to capture Pikachu and so wouldn't send him away, even if it did mean he'd be away from Ash,"
"How do you know it wasn't us!?" cried James, worried that his evil reputation might be in tatters.
"Because you are both illiterate and therefore couldn't have sent any of those notes,"
"Oh no! Our secret shame!"
Chan then turned to Nurse Joy.
"Nurse Joy - despite being a J, it obviously couldn't be you as you have nothing but goodness in your heart,"
"Oh, Joy," said Brock, before blushing and falling off his chair. Nurse Joy looked bashful and thanked Chan for his words.
"Which leaves only..." said Chan turning around on his heel "You!"
He pointed his finger at Misty.

Has Chan lost his basic understanding of the alphabet? Is Misty not her real name? Is it some alias? Is her real name Jane or Janice or Junipertree? Is there some more likely and probably blatantly obvious explanation rendering this whole cliff-hanger pointless? FIND OUT IN THE PENULTIMATE CHAPTER TWENTY NINE!

Chapter Twenty Nine

Once again, everyone gasped (in fact everyone was gasping so much that it was like the Asthmatic's Society AGM.) Brock coughed violently.
"Sorry all this gasping is bad for my throat," he said.
"Me?" shrieked Misty in horror.
"No," said Charlie Chan "That round rat in your lap,"
Everyone turned to look at Misty's lap, though not in that way. Jigglypuff let out an uncomfortable "Jiggly!" before rolling away.
"She's heading for the window!" cried Brock
"No she isn't,"
"Well I've got the window covered!" said Brock, drawing the curtains.
Jigglypuff tried rolling under a bench but the foot of Jesse stopped any chance of that. Quickly Misty reached down and picked her.
"The mysterious J?" asked Ash bewildered.
"Jiggly," sighed Jigglypuff in a resigned fashion.
"But why?" questioned Ash again, hiding a frightened Pikachu from his pink nemesis.
Jigglypuff jumped out of Misty's arms and grabbed her hand. She then did a Jiggly-roll over to Ash and put his hand in Misty's.
"Jiggly," she said, weeping a silent tear.
"You did this... for me? For... us?" asked Misty taken aback. She and Ash still held hands. They exchanged a glance and blushed.
"Jiggly," she said, a glum look and a frown across her face. "Jiggle jiggly!"
Charlie Chan took a shocked step back from what was in fact a complete sentence from a Pokémon, the first recorded in history. However, it was still nonsense.
"Aww, we love you too Jigglypuff," said Misty "Don't we Ash?"
"Do I have to tell the truth?"
"No, but lies make baby Mewtwo cry,"
"I don't care about him, so yes - yes I love you Jigglypuff,"
"What about you Pikachu?" asked Misty, knowing something had been going on between the two previously "Do you love her?"
Pikachu thought for a second before getting the rather convenient house band to play "I used to love her, but it's all over now!" However, given most of the lyrics took the form of "Pika", "Chu" and variations thereof, it didn't make much sense.
"Group hug!" said Misty and everyone hugged each other (though sadly Brock did let his hands wander.)
"Look," said Charlie Chan, who hadn't been in the hug "This is all very nice and it's nice you kids have forgiven your round, pink rat. However, there's one thing that doesn't forgive and that's justice, especially hard justice. This one's coming with me!"
With that Chan took out a Pokéball and snaggled Jiggly.

Will hard justice be administered to Jigglypuff? Will Brock The Phantom Groper be caught and have hard justice administered to him? Will Ash and Misty decide to get married in a civil ceremony by a hard Justice of the Peace? Does Pikachu have a promising singing career ahead of him? FIND OUT IN THE FINAL CHAPTER - CHAPTER THIRTY!

Chapter Thirty

Misty and Ash held hands as they sat in the court. Jigglypuff was in the dock, the jury was back in the room and Judge was about to administer hard justice. Pikachu had stayed behind. He couldn't stand to be there, when the pokémon he once loved would be sentenced.
"Pokémon of the jury," said Judge Reinhold, formerly of Beverly Hills Cop, "Have you reached a verdict?"
"And is this a verdict you all agree upon?"
"Mr Foreman, could you please read the verdict please?"
The sound of shock was palpable (though quite how is beyond me.)
Judge banged his gavel. "Order! Order!"
The courtroom fell silent.
"Jigglypuff," he said turning to Jigglypuff "You have been found guilty of framing a friend and being a cad. If I was my character in Beverly Hills Cop - Billy - then I'd unload both barrels of a shotgun into your face. However, Judge has a heart. You did what you did for love and through your actions we were able to catch the Poképerv and Hitman Chan died. You also provided us with a thrilling adventure. Therefore, you are free to go,"
Confetti rained down from the rafters and everyone danced and sang songs. Ash took Misty by both hands and stared deeply into her eyes. Misty tried to look away as she blushed but before she knew it Ash had pulled her close. They embraced, with Ash slipping the tongue like the sexy rogue he is.
Jigglypuff danced even harder after seeing this. Her plan had worked!
So the moral of the story appears to be: CRIME DOES PAY!

What will happen in the lives of our intrepid heroes? Will hatred grow within Pikachu? Will Ash and Misty get it on? Will their children share their names with a sweet Italian wine? What of Brock and his love for Nurse Joy? FIND OUT IN THE EPILOGUE!


Ash and Misty

After having a frenchie in the court room, Misty fell pregnant (despite the fact that she was standing up at the time.) Sadly, she miscarried when Ash tried to snaggle the unborn foetus in a Pokéball. After classes about the nature of pregnancy, they kissed on the lips again and Misty fell pregnant with twins. They all lived happily ever after in a house that some bloke called Jack built.


Brock continued to follow his love of philosophy, quickly discovering the works of John 'No Man is an Island' Dunne. He went on to become one of the great minds of his generation and his theories on what you can tell about a woman from sniffing her sheets, won him a Noble Prize. Sadly, he never married, with many saying it was because he never got over his first love for Nurse Joy. Despite this, he was always happy. His final words, when he finally passed away were, "A life without Joy can be happy, as mine has been." It is inscribed on his grave.

Nurse Joy

Despite Brock's best efforts and a burning desire to be with him, Joy remained true to her dedication to helping the sick. Deciding that she wasn't making much difference in the developed world, she went to Africa to do missionary work and help the disadvantaged Pokémon. Whilst there she found true happiness in both healthcare and in teaching. She was awarded the Florence Nightingale Medal for services to nursing and wears it with pride to this day.

Team Rocket

Team Rocket quit the Pokémon business soon after the Jigglypuff trial. They tried a number of unsuccessful business enterprises, one of which saw James lose the use of his legs. Using the compensation from this they went on a world cruise and eventually set up a bar called Rocket's Afterburner, in the Mississippi delta, where they still live today. Sadly Jesse's womb was barren and they had no children.


The betrayal and success of Jigglypuff's scheme hit Pikachu hard. He took to drinking and his life quickly went off the rails. However, Marril helped guide his wheels back on to the right track and Pikachu has been dry for the past 25 years. When he and Marril discovered a love that dare not speak its name, neither was surprised. They started a centre for Pokémon who didn't want to evolve further and have been moderately successful. Pikachu currently enjoys a quite life, though he's quite a mean backgammon player.


After the trial, Jigglypuff was inundated with requests from the media. She sold her story to the highest bidder. Retaining the movie rights saw her directing the story of her life with Gwyneth Paltrow playing her in the lead role, joined by Samuel L Jackson as Pikachu and Gary Busey as Ash. The film swept the board at the Oscars, though the follow up - Sex, Lies and Pokémon - flopped and effectively finished Jigglypuff's career. Since then she has released her scandalous, best selling autobiography. She lives with her agent, Psi Duck, in a mansion in Beverly Hills.

Charlie Chan

Chan's career never hit the giddy heights of the Jigglypuff case again. He descended into alcohol problems and was hit with ill health. He died of bronchial pneumonia, at home, with his wife. He was 59.