View Full Version : Spirits ((Ahaman King Fanfic))

March 26th, 2006, 8:25 AM
I began writing this Shaman King Fanfiction out of boredom......so here’s Spirits

Chapter One
The Past

Is it really possible for us to see ghosts? Is it truly believable that ghosts wonder this world without us knowing? Is it really true that some ghosts can’t or won’t go to the after life? Before I found my oversoul spirit all my answers to these questions were ‘no’. But that all changed during that one day, the day that it all began to change.
It was a cold and dark day as my brother and I sat against the grave in the backyard. At this time, I was three and my older brother, Hattori was sixteen. “Aishii?” He asked. I stared at him with my blood red eyes. “Have you ever felt alone in this world?” He asked me staring out at the river that flowed by our house. “Yes, I feel that all time.” I answered looking at him straight in the eye. He just looked at me and smiled, “I feel like your always there for me Aishii.” I smiled at him and he grabbed me and hugged me.
I was laying in my bed when I heard a noise. It sounded like the bathroom faucet was left running. So I stood up and walked across the cold wooden floor towards the bathroom. I switched on the light and turned off the sink. I looked up at the mirror and gasped. Written in blood on the glass mirror was this:
“ I killed them both and you’re next Aishii.” I ran into my mother an father’s room, but they were not there. “No.” I whispered. I turned around and ran out into the family room. Not there either, though I could tell I was getting close. I walked into the kitchen and my foot slipped on something. I was sent plummeting to the ground. My face landing in a puddle of blood and my legs covered in blood.. I stood up and followed the trail of blood outside. There I saw my mother and my father laying face down on the ground. Blood was spewing from their bodies and Hattori was standing over them. He looked at me and began walking towards me. I jolted backward. “What’s wrong?” He asked. He walked toward me outstretching his arms to hug me. “NO!!!” I screamed running away from him. I jolted through the forest and he followed me every step. I tripped over the rocks and fell into the river. I heard a wolf growling and then heard my brother screaming to me. “Aishii help me, Aishii.” I ran to where he was, his foot was stuck in-between a rock and a wolf was scratching at his leg. I watched behind a tree as my brother was eaten alive by a wolf.
I ran to a graveyard and thats when I began to teach myself how to be a swordsman.

April 13th, 2006, 12:23 PM
You're very talented for your age ^^
You may want to change it to 'turned off the tap. Also, you could add some details between when he outstretches his arms, and when she's in the woods.

April 15th, 2006, 4:24 PM
It's really good actually, although it looks kinda rushed towards the end, maybe you should try and add some more detail ?

Really good, though.

April 18th, 2006, 7:26 PM
Well done Flarey-Chan! pretty good one for your age...:D

One Charmed Dude
June 22nd, 2006, 4:22 PM
wow great story!!! thats great. where's chapter 2???

One Charmed Dude
June 22nd, 2006, 4:23 PM
wow great story!!! thats great. where's chapter 2???

June 23rd, 2006, 5:38 AM
I'm going to be dropping this fanfiction for awhile and I'm going to remake and revise it....................but It'll take awhile ok

~Flarey-Chan out.

One Charmed Dude
June 26th, 2006, 11:47 AM
ok waaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why must your writing be so adicting?????