View Full Version : Shattered

March 28th, 2006, 4:03 PM
A darkness slowly descends
upon my very heart and soul.
Loneliness and despair my only friends
as it all begins to take its toll.

My heart grows blacker by the day,
my soul will be next to follow.
Inside feelings slowly drift away
leaving a husk, empty and hollow.

Places once filled with glorious light
replaced by quickening pools of black.
As they close in, I lose my will to fight
as my defenses have begun to crack.

Lost is what I have become
and there shall I remain
to be found only when I can come
away from the shadows of the insane.


March 30th, 2006, 2:08 PM
Your last stanza doesn't quite seem to fit. But other than that... The first three flowed quite nicely, I'm impressed.

Those are some deep feelings for a thirteen-year-old. I sympathyze with you. *gives a tight huggle* Not much, but a little something, ne?

March 30th, 2006, 2:11 PM
hehehe.... thanx for the hug? ya...i got some deep feelings, a little too much for my age? thanx for the comment.

Midori Chi
April 9th, 2006, 4:47 PM
Like all other poems I've read of yours, it's REALLY good. I liked the rhyming and the feeling from it. And even it being a short poem, I feel the sense of time you put into this. (does that make sense? XO)

Anyways, I enjoyed it and please make more. XD