May 17th, 2006, 1:24 PM
Snubbleyou make me laugh
you are taller than my calf
i love you so much
you are someone i won't punch
i want you to be my best friend
until the very end
May 18th, 2006, 6:17 AM
For one thing, kid, I believe this is in the wrong section. It's about a Pokemon, and all writings about Pokemon belong in the Pokemon Fanfiction section.
Okay, on to the even more merciless comments...
This 'poem' is short and pretty much pointless. The imagery used has little to no effect upon the reader("taller than my calf"...? o_O) and you don't produce very powerful feelings with this work, either. I'm sorry to sound so negative...(you noobs must hate me...) but it's true, at least in my eyes. This isn't really a poem at all. You might call it more of a corny verse to a rap song, or just spam for that matter...And also, although some poets don't use capitalization at certain places(as you did), this is a rare style and the more professional-looking poems often have the first letter in each line capitalized... I ask that you please try to put some more effort and thought into your next piece, as this seems extremely spontaneous and 'poems' like this posted in the poetry section tend to annoy most of us....
I hope I haven't discouraged you. Browse the poetry forums a bit for examples of true poetry(I'd recommend either ~Ozy~ or Nagoyaka Aikouka's threads). Practice makes near-perfect. Please don't give up.