View Full Version : Flickers Of Trust

Krafty Quill
August 28th, 2006, 9:28 PM
A/N: I’ve never written poetry before so bare with me as I take a crack at it. And this piece of work is called, Flickers of Trust. After re-reading this, I noticed some parts don’t seem to belong, but I must’ve put them there for a reason before so I left them. XD

~ Flickers of Trust ~
.: A Tactless Tales Production :.

With the scatter of varied stars, and different headed streets
The stretch of space holds no bounds.
And so if Venus married Mars, where would the intended meet?
For there could be no common ground.

Yet still, the heavens were sought when one was lost
Directions bought at any cost,
But often followed with half a heart
Reserving space for doubts to clot.

Through wounds and love, his needs stayed fair
His soul devoted to only one.
When his path got blurred, the heavens were there
To clear his vision some.

Blind faith was challenged by human eyes
Her time away grew suspicious
Her stutters astray, read off her lips as lies
The nights away, his heart would cry

And now!? He roared to the skies,
Only to have his wails met with no reply,
Or so he thought. His love now twice denied.
For once, the clouds held no silver line…

Only love, could turn to hate in a blink
He finally found the qualms he hid himself
His spited spirit spread to his mate’s drink
And to the same cup, he bid his health

Two souls gone, one love lost, soon faded though
And dare he ask why it was fated so
The stars will speak for him to hear
The choice was his to live in fear.

Faith should hold to the final glimmer
For with every shed lost, the stars blink dimmer

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
October 7th, 2006, 11:03 PM
Pretty good overall, excellent imagery and sweet descriptions, the only thing that didn't show up in a few places between the stanzas was rhythm. Always measure the verses' length and syllables, and you'll do fine.
The theme did twist a little, but it's still fine. XD

Excellent poem, I'm looking forward to

October 18th, 2006, 5:22 AM
pretty good poem:) plus some good description

Krafty Quill
October 18th, 2006, 5:37 AM
WHOA! I literally forgot that I wrote this XD

Well, it was my first poem so to know it wasn't 100% junk is good enough for me. Maybe I'll have another go at poetry then.

Thanks again you too!

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