View Full Version : This Dusty Desert Road

oni flygon
April 26th, 2007, 8:13 PM
New Poem, mmhmm... inspired from the works of Bruce Springsteen... I want to capture that moment of hope in midst of desperation... and I came up with this. There's a reason I reposted my two poems from last year and it's because this alludes to them.

This Dust Desert Road

There is a feeling of euphoria
As the arid desert air hits my face
No sand in my eye
As I stomp on the baked black asphalt
Following this aimless desert highway
Beyond mountains, to the ocean
Away from the forest, from the meadow

And memories of Yesteryear
I hold on to tightly
Finding myself bound to emotions
Imbued with imagination
Facing the crashing desert storm
About to pass through me

And wary hope, wandering this desert
Raised from moments of neglect and dread
Hanging to salvation by a thread
She looks to me to hold on
To help her weather the winds
To help me let go of the past
Of my bound emotions of love

In the middle of the sandstorm
I feel the memories slipping away
From my fingers, from my grasp
To find themselves lost
Love finds herself caught up
In between the lines of flesh and fantasy
And angels flutter by, tugging her arms
Showing her the way out of this mess
Only to rip her apart
And scatter the pieces through the wind

And all the memories
Of the vast forest and never ending meadows
Are carried away by the dust
Pushed away to oblivion
As I hold on to dear hope—
Poor abashed and battered hope—
While I trod on with dazed footsteps
On this dusty desert road

As the storm passes away
Only the sweet whispers of assurances are heard
The soft promises from hope held tightly
Invigorates this weary soul
To yearn for the ocean on the other side
Casting aside the doubts in mind
As long as I follow this aimless road
With hope to hold and behold

April 27th, 2007, 7:39 AM
mmm...deep words dude..so deep, it reached far beyond my vocabulary...although i like your idea though...i could use this col poem of yours as an inspiration...anyways...its fantastic...although, i think you had an error at the title..hehe...

keep it up!

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
April 28th, 2007, 9:40 PM
I like the choice of words, and as I've already mentioned, its originality(structure, theme, metaphors). I think I've said too that this is weeping, craving, calling for a melody. The rhythm is something you might want to work on with this one, but other than that, the poem's pretty good. It truly transmits a feeling.

May 27th, 2007, 7:42 PM
Amidst the flurry of eloquence and beauty I perceived naught but a single yearning desire flowing through the piece. =O

In other words, it's a very beautiful poem. Your choice of words is ..."difficult" in a sense to describe the procedure. Regardless, it's pretty, Onii-chan! The lack of rhythm contributed to its 'difficulty,' though. I suck at choosing words, lol.

Nice job, nice job.

There, I posted.