&Your effort was valueless, sorry, princess~.
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I want to do my best...

Posted November 28th, 2016 at 3:21 PM by Palamon

Please don't read too much into this. It really doesn't have to do with anything at all. Also, please don't tell me I'm "whining". I'm just letting off some steam. None of which really have to do with this forum, but just please listen.

I try so hard to be positive, but, you know it's really hard. I'm having a really bad year. Parents are in major credit card debt, I'm at a really big dead end in my life, almost no one realizes my true potential, all my efforts in life might go to waste because someone who has no idea how to run a country took office... is that really something I can be happy about?! How can you expect me to be positive when my life is really low quality right now?

I know my attitude is not the best one ever, I know I have problems with indirect hostility and major sarcasm (and anger), and am sensitive, I know the majority of me is negative, but this is how I cope with stress. I'm trying to rework this bad outlet of relieving stress, but not everyone is fixable. I'm probably not fixable anymore.

Next year, I'm going to make my 2017 the best year of my life. I'm going to weed out anyone who left me behind when I was at my worst, and only keep friends who I feel are really my friends. No more fake friends! I've had it with fake ones! If you don't understand me? Tough luck, that's how it has to be. If people don't like me when I'm at my worst, then they can't have me when I'm at my high peak or best.

I'll get a job, and I'll be good at it, I'll prove to people that they were wrong to overlook me, and wrong to put me down and wrong to not believe in me. I'll prove to everyone that I'm not as bad as I feel. I just have a mouth and am sarcastic and rigid. That's all.

And I'm gonna stop being afraid to speak my mind! I'm going to tell people exactly how I feel. I'm sick of being afraid to speak my mind directly! I'm sick of letting people walk on top of me because I can't speak my mind!

Don't like me? You don't have to. I'm not a god, I'm not a saint, and I'm not a 100% likable person. Muk's tough, I realize I'm annoying as hell, and am really negative, as I said above, but if you're willing to set asie my flaws as a human being, then go ahead and try to be my friend, or not. It doesn't matter.

I'm through being walked all over again and again.

I'm done, sorry.
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