Maybe YOU can help us deal: Part 2
Okay, this is picking up DIRECTLY from the last entry. I doubled the last post I made just so you can see where it left off.. but my first quote is a duplicate of the last entry, so if you read it then just skip it and continue to Pachy's response:
For those who are willing to read something long and drawn out and are willing to post an opinion or help us come to a compromise
P.S. Please read the next blog entry and post your comment there, this is just the first part divided into two because of the word-limit:
If you want, make your opinion or try to help us come to a compromise. I think we both might be pretty stubborn. Maybe you can help or just offer your opinion.
But please no bashing or flaming. If you're concerned please voice it truthfully, and don't sugarcoat it.. but try not to make it negative because we need help to see an answer.
Thanks.
Edit: Oh I guess he blocked me and that's what he meant by "I hate to do it" :C So now I'm confused if he really wants to find a solution we can work at or not..
For those who are willing to read something long and drawn out and are willing to post an opinion or help us come to a compromise
P.S. Please read the next blog entry and post your comment there, this is just the first part divided into two because of the word-limit:
Spoiler:
If you want, make your opinion or try to help us come to a compromise. I think we both might be pretty stubborn. Maybe you can help or just offer your opinion.
But please no bashing or flaming. If you're concerned please voice it truthfully, and don't sugarcoat it.. but try not to make it negative because we need help to see an answer.
Thanks.
Edit: Oh I guess he blocked me and that's what he meant by "I hate to do it" :C So now I'm confused if he really wants to find a solution we can work at or not..
Total Comments 17
Comments
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i actually read it all...
Anyways, first off, from this blog it really does seem like Kura is the only one trying to move this lock forward. The analogies and stuff I felt were pretty related in helping express her opinion, and I don't think that arguing about the relation of an analogy is productive or helpful in such a situation if either party wants to get out of it.
From a few of Pachy's replies, it honestly looks like he doesn't want to compromise, rather the replies are just methodic rebuts to Kura's analogies and whatnot, which are only enforcing her opinion, I don't actually see Pachy questioning her actual opinion which would move things forward.
I'm not saying Kura is necessarily correct and Pachy is not, but it just seems like Pachy has a serious barrier up and is refusing really to budge. However, I don't think Kura should just say, "you are feigning this persona and stop it now and just be more open with your femininity" (paraphrased). It's a pretty complex situation for Pachy and everybody handles things differently, and if he wants to create this persona to deal with it, he should be allowed to without question. But in the same token, nobody should HAVE to be dragged into the falsity of the persona and unable to speak to Pachy, but rather to a scapegoat.
I think this compromise somebody HAS to give more than the other, Pachy must either say, "ok you can speak directly to me, it doesn't have to be to Skye" or Kura can say, "alright, I'll address everything to Skye."
I know it isn't all that simple, but your username is Pachy and not Skye, and anybody who doesn't know about your current situation will keep referring to you as Pachy. I don't think you can make people address both personas, so if you are really wanting people to address you as Skye all the time here at PC, I'd enforce that for everybody.
Again, I don't really understand fully the whole Skye persona, but that's what I got out of what was posted.Posted December 29th, 2010 at 4:48 PM by moments.
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Posted December 29th, 2010 at 5:00 PM by Maraala
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Moments: Yeah I guess I do get that.. maybe I am too quick to judge Skye because I can't relate to how Pachy feels or this situation but it makes me feel uncomfortable at times. I guess I would be disrespecting him by not being able to understand his situation fully, and for that I apologise.
Do you think a good compromise would be that if I am talking to Pachy about issues that involve femininity, sexuality, and things that involve the use of referring to someone's feminine side, then I could address Skye to get two sides of how Pachy feels about the subject.
But otherwise I should be entitled to be able to talk to Pachy about anything without having his female side (Skye) interject.
I personally think that would make it fair, but he stated that he feels like I'd be ignoring her :/ So really, I don't feel like it's a compromise to fully give into what he feels while ignoring the fact that it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Another compromise would be to not talk at all, but even if I want to talk tough and that I don't really let losses affect me, I still wouldn't like to make enemies with anyone.
Also, if I may speak for Pachy, I always saw that Skye was a feminine/ female persona that Pachy says lives inside him and that helps him cope with his femininity and masculinity balance issues. Apparently he says she's growing stronger so that gives him the reason to switch narratives and referring to Skye as an actual person to represent that it's his feminine side is present while speaking to people.
And if I got this wrong Pachy is free to correct me, but that's how I see the situation.
Lastly, I thank you for reading the whole thing and offering to help out, moments!Posted December 29th, 2010 at 5:04 PM by Kura
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I would have to say that Pachy really needs to compromise. If Pachy were being addressed as John, then I could see a problem. However, if Pachy is being addressed as Pachy, there should be no real issue.
If I remember correctly, it has been said that Pachy should be referred to as either Pachy or Skye. Why being addressed as Pachy is suddenly and issue is beyond me.
I think that people should be able to talk to Pachy as Pachy with no gender distinction there. What the person is thinking of Pachy as is not something Pachy will know, or should really care about.Posted December 29th, 2010 at 5:05 PM by Aquacorde
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^ Wait we can't call him John because that's a males name? o_________O
If he's feeling male one day then he's John, and female, then he's Skye, not Pachy and Skye. Because guess what? Pachy isn't his real name, so either calling that or that...
It's like saying call me Forever or Nick because calling me Nica is offensive to how I feel today.Posted December 29th, 2010 at 5:47 PM by Ho-Oh
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Pachy has said that Skye is the persona that is expressed online, and Pachy would prefer to be referred to as female online because of that. If one does not know about this whole situation, one would refer to Pachy as Pachy and not be rebuked. Because guess what? That's not either. There is ambiguity there. That's why I'm saying I think Pachy should let people say "Hey Pachy blablabla" and not be offended or whatever if they are not comfortable with the situation/don't know about it.Posted December 29th, 2010 at 5:54 PM by Aquacorde
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Posted December 29th, 2010 at 6:04 PM by Ho-Oh
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Pachy does not want to be referred to as John. I do think this is going to be a sticking point regardless of what anyone says. It is Pachy's choice and I think people should respect that. If they are uncomfortable with it, they should just be able to say Pachy, which is acknowledging the fact that Pachy doesn't want to be known as John while still staying within their own comfort zone by not saying Skye.Posted December 29th, 2010 at 6:12 PM by Aquacorde
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No guys, I'm not calling Pachy John. I am calling Pachy Pachy.. but Pachy feels like I'm ignoring Skye because I don't talk to Skye/ ever address Skye. My argument is that I don't need to.. because if Skye talks through Pachy and they know what each other is thinking, then I can just ask Pachy's opinion on his own feminine side. But if he insists on wanting Skye to express his femininity, then we should come to a compromise.
You guys can read both our comments in:
http://www.pokecommunity.com/blog.php?b=9440
for an example, if you'd like. Minus the fact that Pachy edited some of my posts.
That's basically it. I didn't want you guys to turn this into "What is Pachy doing? etc etc" I guess you guys are just looking for clarification on what's going on but try not to entirely judge his situation here.. cause that's not what this blog is about.. it's about how we can come to an agreement.
So does anyone have any thoughts on what I or Pachy should do?Posted December 29th, 2010 at 6:21 PM by Kura
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Posted December 29th, 2010 at 6:30 PM by Aquacorde
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I dunno.. I thought I was making a good attempt at trying to get somewhere.. but Pachy just blocked me.. so I guess if only one side of this is willing to work at it, it's not going to be resolved. Maybe another compromise would be to call Pachy Pachy.. but then refer to Pachy as "she" instead of "he"? Cause then I'd be fine with that.. as long as I don't have to be switching back and forth between "she and he" because that makes me feel uncomfortable and confused.
I appreciate the help, though.
Maybe if Pachy's offline now or something.. if he comes back later he can clarify everything that went on here and offer his own suggestion for compromise.
And if not then oh well, I guess he'll just keep me blocked or something like that.. but at least I can say I tried.Posted December 29th, 2010 at 7:04 PM by Kura
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I totally took to long to type anything.
While Pachy said "come to an agreement", they really said "accept my terms" and gave you an ultimatum. Which was executed. I'm pretty sure this connection is over unless you agree to the terms. You either feel uncomfortable and confused while talking to Pachy, you don't talk to Pachy, or you talk to Pachy with whatever name/pronoun you deem appropriate which may or may not upset them.
Add: Or hope some gender-neutral pronoun comes around that doesn't sound as odd as they.Posted December 29th, 2010 at 7:14 PM by Nina
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TSO: Originally, he did give us the option to call him John or Skye. Why has it changed? Can't he just make up his mind?
What, honestly, is wrong with the word "John" and why is Pachy better? You never know, John could be a girls name SOMEWHERE.
@ Pachy, if you're reading, why are you going ahead with this gender swapping stuff? Because the way you're acting about it makes it seem less authentic in most people's views. And if it is a gender crisis, then you should be able to let us still call you John, if you wish to be known as the male side at a certain time. By calling you "Pachy", the neutral side, that's implying that you don't want to be known as a male, yet you continue to have a "male" side you keep referring to.
If you're so proud of the fact that you're actually a girl now, then please, by all means, don't pretend to be somebody you're not IRL because you think people are going to judge you. And even if they do, so what? If you really know you're a girl and you're glad you're a girl, then keep it at one gender. Tell people you're really a girl IRL, don't switch between two genders because you're in two different places. It's like me going to uni - with people I know and saying "oh hay I have decided I'm a man, please refer to be as a man" and then going to the shops and saying "nono, I'm not a man, I'm 100% female, but at uni that's when I can really express my manlyness". You get what I'm saying?
The way you're going about it... with having two sides, dominant sides, IRL sides, offline sides, sides depending on your mood... well, it's just insulting those with transgender issues.
Really, do things differently and you won't get these types of blogs. Blocking Kura doesn't help your case either, you should at least listen to her opinions because they are valid, as are everyone elses.
Kura, could you please not delete this, because Pachy censors what is said everywhere else, and I want this to be kept here for him to see.Posted December 29th, 2010 at 7:31 PM by Ho-Oh
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Posted December 29th, 2010 at 7:41 PM by Sydian
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I felt the same way, so hopefully we can really find a compromise and he can state his opinion here without feeling attacked. There are some comments here that do address just his gender, but I don't believe in deleting or editing comments or other people's opinions. Hopefully Pachy can look past them (because I can't control what other people say) and just look at the posts that are trying to help this situation.Quote:I totally took to long to type anything.
While Pachy said "come to an agreement", they really said "accept my terms" and gave you an ultimatum. Which was executed. I'm pretty sure this connection is over unless you agree to the terms. You either feel uncomfortable and confused while talking to Pachy, you don't talk to Pachy, or you talk to Pachy with whatever name/pronoun you deem appropriate which may or may not upset them.
Add: Or hope some gender-neutral pronoun comes around that doesn't sound as odd as they.
Hopefully it's not over because I don't like to keep things negatively when things are just a misinterpretation, but I've given my part and made an effort to seek help elsewhere, too, so the rest is basically up to Pachy.
I don't delete people nor do I block people. I also let the people reserve the right to contact me, just so you know.Quote:TSO: Originally, he did give us the option to call him John or Skye. Why has it changed? Can't he just make up his mind?
What, honestly, is wrong with the word "John" and why is Pachy better? You never know, John could be a girls name SOMEWHERE.
@ Pachy, if you're reading, why are you going ahead with this gender swapping stuff? Because the way you're acting about it makes it seem less authentic in most people's views. And if it is a gender crisis, then you should be able to let us still call you John, if you wish to be known as the male side at a certain time. By calling you "Pachy", the neutral side, that's implying that you don't want to be known as a male, yet you continue to have a "male" side you keep referring to.
If you're so proud of the fact that you're actually a girl now, then please, by all means, don't pretend to be somebody you're not IRL because you think people are going to judge you. And even if they do, so what? If you really know you're a girl and you're glad you're a girl, then keep it at one gender. Tell people you're really a girl IRL, don't switch between two genders because you're in two different places. It's like me going to uni - with people I know and saying "oh hay I have decided I'm a man, please refer to be as a man" and then going to the shops and saying "nono, I'm not a man, I'm 100% female, but at uni that's when I can really express my manlyness". You get what I'm saying?
The way you're going about it... with having two sides, dominant sides, IRL sides, offline sides, sides depending on your mood... well, it's just insulting those with transgender issues.
Really, do things differently and you won't get these types of blogs. Blocking Kura doesn't help your case either, you should at least listen to her opinions because they are valid, as are everyone elses.
Kura, could you please not delete this, because Pachy censors what is said everywhere else, and I want this to be kept here for him to see.
In a sense I feel the same way, but I also don't think Pachy wants to be judged for his gender here. Like I said we're just trying to come to a compromise.
That being said I still believe some of what you're saying, too. But I will only make points on what this blog is referring to which is Our Situation and not Pachy's situation with his gender and who he wants to associate with. I also feel like I have no problem addressing Pachy as a girl entirely.. but what I feel uncomfortable with is switching back and forth- and I've stated this.
But like I said, Pachy is either going to have to voice his opinion, suggest something, or completely ignore it. I left the rest up to him. He can make his own blog post about the situation, but I just would like him to know that I didn't do this to attack his gender, but rather, to seek help. I hope that Pachy acknowledges my intention of seeking help. And even though I still feel awkward actually addressing Skye, I am working towards not referring to Skye as something conjured to help him deal with issues, and am instead trying to refer to Skye as a female characteristic that Pachy identifies with, which I believe is more healthy and respectable. And what I think he'd like.
So yeah, if Pachy doesn't want to contribute, I can't do anything, and that's what I'll have to accept and be fine with.Posted December 29th, 2010 at 7:59 PM by Kura
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Posted December 29th, 2010 at 8:03 PM by Zelda
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Posted December 29th, 2010 at 8:28 PM by Spinor





