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Studies show . . . (aka the Starbucks door)

Posted November 11th, 2009 at 7:24 PM by Misheard Whisper
Updated November 11th, 2009 at 7:53 PM by Misheard Whisper

I'm quite happy with the fact that I spent an hour writing in a Starbucks this afternoon. I bought myself a caramel frappucino because they were out of chocolate chips, and sat down to write with my favourite playlist going. I got ~900 words down, which makes me happy.

But the door. I sat by the door for the hour, watching people come and go as I wrote. The door was a simple push/pull affair, but I realised that the inclusion of handles on both sides of the door confused people. Ignoring obvious clues like the hinges, the hydraulic piston thingies at the top, and good old common sense (who designs a door that opens outward onto the street, possibly hitting someone passing by?), around nine out of ten people got it around the wrong way. XD That is, they pushed where they should have pulled and vice versa. These results were consistent through people both entering and leaving the cafe, although those coming in had slightly more success.

So what does this tell us? That New Zealanders don't know how to work a door? Or perhaps something more sinister.

My theory is that Starbucks are putting some addling drug in our coffees in order to capture footage - through a hidden camera - of us fumbling with the door, to watch later for their own amusement. Does this happen in America, too? Or are they just spiking our drinks and using the footage to prove to the world how dumb New Zealanders are? Perhaps they're trying to convince their government that we're a nation of idiots, and therefore worth invading? Is the USA planning world domination, starting with our little green corner? Rise, fellow New Zealanders, and prove America wrong! Scare their intelligence agents away with your dazzling common sense, and open the damned door the right frigging way!


NOTE: The above conspiracy theory is not to be taken seriously under any circumstances.

EDIT: And wtf. How many asdfing tl;dr blogs do we need. I will not be participating, tyvm. I have writing to do.
Posted inRandom, ‎Real life
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    .Seth's Avatar
    Studies show that I'm imagining people confusing the door for my own amusement.
    Posted November 11th, 2009 at 7:31 PM by .Seth .Seth is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Nina's Avatar
    People watching: the best hobby ever.
    Posted November 11th, 2009 at 8:40 PM by Nina Nina is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Misheard Whisper's Avatar
    You are both FBI agents, y/y?
    Posted November 11th, 2009 at 11:11 PM by Misheard Whisper Misheard Whisper is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Bay's Avatar
    I used to study at Starbucks because one of my classes was at a movie theater and there's a Starbucks nearby. XD

    As for doors...happens like that too at the Starbucks I go too. So yeah, us Americans have the same intelligence as you New Zealanders, but in a good way! XD
    Posted November 12th, 2009 at 10:36 PM by Bay Bay is offline