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Abundance - mysteries abound!

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Abundance - mysteries abound!

Posted May 30th, 2015 at 4:36 PM by Palamon
Updated May 30th, 2015 at 4:45 PM by Palamon

"Such is a revelation."

This is just an update since I haven't really been here.

Slowly, I'm starting to figure out who I am. It's just a matter of discovering what I want in my life. I'm graduating in a month, so I've been under a lot of stress. I've been sick for a bit and have lost some weight, but I'm trying to overcome this. Because of, well, most of what's going on, I've had a lot of mood swings. This is the most neutral mood I've had all week, and I'm honestly hoping it lasts. This is the most sane I've felt in a few weeks. It's not a dangerous good mood. I had a few of those a few weeks ago right after some depressive swing.

Regarding gender issues. Right now, I'm still figuring that out. As of this moment, I've decided to identify as genderless. I'm trying to figure out which binary I feel most comfortable with right now. I realized how sometimes I feel girly, sometimes I feel like a guy, sometimes I can feel like a mix of both, and then there are times I don't feel like any. Just neutral. I'm still fine with "she" at the minute, but there are times I'll identify as "he", but not when I'm on this account or this site. That's my "Steven" identity...which not a lot of people know about since I don't talk about it. Yes, I'll still use pink in my posts because I like it. Pink isn't as girly of a color as you think. Once I figure out what I fully identify as, I'll change my pronouns. Nothing insane, though. I also don't really identify myself with my birth name anymore. I more so identify strongly with "Pala" and "Palamon".

As a person, I think I've come a long way since 2012. I don't know. I guess I feel different than I used to when I was 15. I don't think I've really matured much as a person. I'm still extremely immature, and probably act like a twelve year old. Maybe. I don't know. I still have an extreme age complex that comes up to bother me every once in awhile. I'm still trying to figure out if I really act my age, or act younger. Don't worry about it. I'm figuring that out.

I'm slowly feeling better about all this and eventually, I'll be able to rip myself apart from depression permanently and be neutral for the rest of my life, aha.

Once summer hits, I hope things will be okay for awhile. I'm not sure since my mood swings know no bounds. ^^; (Since I'm literally afraid of being on anti-depressants/mood stabilizers and all do to being "fake" on them.)

Um, that's it.

Also, in terms of anime, I like Senran Kagura atm.
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