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The Philosophy of the Grasshopper I Found in my Hotel Room

Posted June 16th, 2014 at 7:34 PM by Spinor

So I found a grasshopper in my hotel room. It was in the middle of my bed, of all places. That big one must have been over an inch long. I slapped the side of the bed and like a toy it hopped to the other side.

But it wasn't the bug that bothered me. It was how it got in here. I was on the third floor. The window was well shut. The AC was on full blast so no bug in the right elementary nervous system would like it in here. Then again, maybe that's why it was just in my bed, still as possible for as long as I stared at it.

I couldn't take my mind off of this. How did that thing get in here? What should I do about it? I could kill it and make a big mess. I could try to catch it and fail and lose it, since it's a bloody grasshopper. I could do nothing and go to sleep anyways and hope it goes away. I just stared at it and after ten minutes I realized I was missing the Daily Show, so I should probably do something about it.

If I didn't know how it got in, I didn't know how to get it out, of course. It's the third floor and the window is shut. Ah, I could call reception, but what would they do? Would they panic and try to sanitize the room or move me to another room? Oh, I got so curious, but I stared at it and philosophized with it for a good five more minutes before I finally called reception.

"Uh, I think there's a bug on my bed. I think it's a grasshopper."

"Do you want us to go get it or do you want to move to another room," she said so casually.

"Ah, just get it. It's a grasshopper; I have no idea how to."

And I stared, and stared, and wondered, until a lady finally got here. She came in and saw the critter. She tried to catch it with her bare hands. She tried once, twice, and finally caught it under her palm.

"Wow, we've never had a grasshopper call before."

And casually she walked away and closed the door behind her. That was when I realized two things:

1. Housekeeping. Of course, I'm an idiot. It must have jumped on a housekeeping cart and crawled/jumped its way onto my bed. Perfectly reasonable. Genius. Even a grasshopper can outsmart the typical housekeeping system of a higher-star hotel.

2. Oh god, I'm such a cloyster.

And that's how I was the first person ever in a hotel to complain about a grasshopper on my bed. Good thing this room has two queen sized beds for myself, so I'm sleeping on the other one tonight.

Oh, and yes, I'm back. Just really lurking, but present.
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  1. Old Comment
    Aquacorde's Avatar
    i missed you my boi lmao
    Posted June 16th, 2014 at 7:46 PM by Aquacorde Aquacorde is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Spinor's Avatar
    Originally Posted by Aquacorde View Comment
    i missed you my boi lmao
    Nuuh, I missed u moar, anna banana.
    Posted June 16th, 2014 at 7:50 PM by Spinor Spinor is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Oryx's Avatar
    Future reference, for all manners of bugs: upside-down cup. Slide a piece of paper under it, then you have a mobile bug-in-a-jar to release wherever you see fit.
    Posted June 17th, 2014 at 9:10 AM by Oryx Oryx is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Aye, bugs work in mysterious ways. 8D

    Have you ever seen a:

    Centipede-Spider-Caterpillar-Cockroach-Slug-Sea-Slug hybrid?

    I have

    It was in this dingy hotel and I couldn't pee for a week, because it was on the toilet!! ):
    Posted December 4th, 2014 at 3:01 AM by

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