i can't afford a diary, so this will have to do
n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
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The best advice you have given. [Something got me thinking]

Posted March 2nd, 2011 at 4:26 PM by seeker
Updated March 2nd, 2011 at 4:41 PM by seeker

Originally Posted by Vrai View Post
"Conformity is boring and inspiration is endless" happens to be one of my favorite quotes of all time, from a member on this board, Abnegation. He's a gold mine for these sorts of things if you're looking for them. ;D
I read this part of a post today. And I was kind of, I guess you could say I felt happy that someone sees the things I say, in this way from time to time. At PC I've had a big issue in portraying who I am, in real life, but doing so online. I think that very rarely, do people see me for who I really am. In saying that, I feel like I'm a person of many attitudes. Which bothers me somewhat. I can sit back, and I can analyze a situation, in a very relaxed state, choose my words carefully and I can offer advice or a rational view on something. This is possibly who I like to be, who I am deep down, what is underneath all these layers which are simply blocking the way.

I feel as if what you see, before you get to know me, and I'm not sure how many people will agree, is a disingenuous, I come across as busy, stressed, arrogant, self absorbed, empty, simple, elitest, and so on, maybe I'm being harsh in not adding some more positive elements, I say that as a person who is comfortable with who they are as opposed to liking themselves a bit too much. BUT, I'm happy with who I am, yet I do not know who that is. I don't know what side of me suits me best, and what way makes both me and other happy to the best extent. I really hope that I can learn to kind of, control, who I am online. Because offline, I'm very much a solid person, who never lets things go to his head, because I know, those who do, end up derailing in one form or another.

It would be interesting to know what people see in me really, both positive and negative. As an artist, I've grown to accept both. As an artist, I can't accept a label; therefore, I am not an artist in my own eyes, until I prove myself. As a writer, I keep my writings to myself, this does not make me a writer. As a game developer, I do not have a released game, this does not make me one. As someone who dislikes stereotyping, I will always argue them, no matter how wrong my argument is, because no one has one side to them. Nobody. I just really want to know, what it is that makes people see me for who I really am, but also, to know what people see in what I am not.

Ever feel this way?
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  1. Old Comment
    Sydian's Avatar
    Hm, well you said it'd be interesting to know what people think about you.

    Positive things I think about Gavin:
    - You give great, worldly advice
    - You are a brilliant artist
    - You're funny
    - You're Irish
    - You're insightful
    - From what I've seen, you know when you're right, and not afraid to admit when you're wrong

    Things I don't like about Gavin...
    - You lock threads too boring >:(

    I have a hard time finding the negatives in people honestly. BUT.
    Posted March 2nd, 2011 at 4:45 PM by Sydian Sydian is offline
  2. Old Comment
    champagnepapi's Avatar
    I wasn't sure if commenting how I view you, in a nutshell that is, actually pertained to the blog, but Syd did it, so whatever.

    You're an extremely influential and multi-taltented person who can come off as intimidating at times.

    As a game developer, I do not have a released game, this does not make me one.
    This here line bothers me a bit, I'll be honest. You may not be a 'game developer', but you're developing a game, which is enough for most of the other members who are in the midst of making a Pokemon game to call themselves a "Game Developer". Technically, you can't be a game developer, as a career, as of yet, as your two publicly showcased projects can't be sold for any sort of profit.

    Not finishing a game doesn't mean much, in the eyes of others, especially when Forever Lost set the bar for fangames extremely high. It's the prime example of what fangames are supposed to do; what Game Freak didn't.
    Posted March 2nd, 2011 at 5:17 PM by champagnepapi champagnepapi is offline
    Updated March 19th, 2011 at 7:28 PM by champagnepapi
  3. Old Comment
    [I]Oh god yes![/I]

    This post. Sums up how I feel about myself in general. I'm not just one thing really.The many things about me that people see, which I will call "fragments", are all a part of a greater integrated whole. No one person ever gets to really see the same set of fragments mostly because they make the mistake of taking the first few and discarding the rest of them as garbage data.

    It is amusing how many people here on PC are quite shocked to the point of doubting my intentions when I assemble from that fragmented state where I'm just relaxing and having fun and just get seriously [B]into the zone on something.[/B]

    I will admit, you can seem a bit unfriendly at times even when you don't even mean it...but that doesn't make you a bad person. Hell, even I scare some people. Ever wonder why some unnamed people on PC hate me so much? It's because they saw me suddenly reassemble into something fearsome over something that meant something to me...and admittedly even I can be a total jackass if something has me on edge. In such cases I can be loose and fun loving one minute, and quick-witted with quite biting things to say the next when someone catches me off guard with something said that isn't so nice. x3
    Posted March 2nd, 2011 at 7:54 PM by Melody Melody is offline
    Updated March 2nd, 2011 at 7:57 PM by Melody (Gah...I got muxed and fudged some names)
  4. Old Comment
    Vrai's Avatar
    Obviously I find you inspirational, Gav. :)

    But yes, I feel you. There's a lot to be said for wanting to know what you say about yourself: what other people think about you. I think the part of this blog that I identify myself with the most is the last paragraph. I personally try to avoid labeling myself or anyone because, like you said, everyone has more than one face to them.

    But man, I really identify with that feeling, yes.
    Posted March 2nd, 2011 at 9:43 PM by Vrai Vrai is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Positives ; You always know the right things to say, and the right things to do. You're inspirational, amazing, warm and caring in your own ways. Not to label, but no matter how harsh you can be, these qualities never leave my view. Don't you ever lose that brilliance or I might cry. ;~;

    Negatives ; What you don't let out in real life, in what you call being "solid", you seem to release online. It can make you come off as intimidating and unapproachable at times.

    anddd, I have nothing else to say because I suck. xD
    Lots of thoughts going through my head. But as usual I have no way to express them to you.
    Posted March 2nd, 2011 at 9:49 PM by
    Updated March 2nd, 2011 at 9:54 PM by Nameless.
  6. Old Comment
    Doctor's Avatar
    I have a hard time grasping that there are people behind the avatars and usernames on here. I really have, always have. And I won't lie, sometimes I like it this way. Online life -.........................- Offline life.
    But you're my friend. What else would I call you? To me you seem like a deeply thinking person, sometimes worried and sometimes throwing funny comments.

    You never seemed selfish or empty or elitist before I knew you. You should worry less. Hm, I do recognize your state... I've been there. Nowadays I've kind of formed myself more in a direction I like. But I've been there.

    Stop worrying, is the best advice I can give.
    Posted March 3rd, 2011 at 1:47 PM by Doctor Doctor is offline