First Blog

A bit sad that break is going to be over. As soon as its over I'm going to have to catch up with school again... Instead of preparing myself for finals and what's to come/what I haven't done I instead spent my Winter Break with my LDR boyfriend. I mean that's not too bad right? I mean, I rather have this moment in my life being with my boyfriend and getting to spend every minute with him and then not seeing him again for another 6 months than worry about grades... I get that grades are important, of course! I've gotten accepted to my dream school anyways...

( When my boyfriend had left I started sobbing. The idea that I won't be able to hug, kiss, or just physically be with him for another 6 months made me very sad. I hope he had a good time with me and he even said I look prettier in person and got me a promise ring too <3 )

Man, I'm really stressed out I haven't been doing the best in my abilities to keep up with school. Finals are going to either kill me or help me. I can do this. There's so much happening right now I just can't mentally keep up and I haven't spoken to anyone about this so just venting to myself in a blog is kinda easing my worries down. I should do this more often. I also have to start taking my vitamin pills or else I'm going to be at risk for anemia I have this unhealthy obsession with starving and feeling pretty. Just because another girl is doing it and is a goddess doesn't mean I should do it either, I know. I'm aware. Sometimes it feels like people tell me to eat so they can see me fail, become ugly, get fat, etc. They really mean it though. To anyone who's struggling with this type of problem just talk to someone about it and acknowledge that you're in an unhealthy position right now and you're damaging your body. Please stay safe and warm! Winter is almost over. <3

I have a lot to do and a lot to think of. I don't want to disappoint my friends, family, boyfriend etc. It almost feels like the only person I can rely on right now is myself but I'm very weak minded and just weak in all aspects... I usually depend on others but I should start bettering myself I don't want to be getting pitied and I never want to be in some kind of depressed ditch. I can do better and I will do better! Nothing is permanent you have to work hard and all else will fall into your favor. I want to be positive and stay positive and get to be the one others can rely on too.