I'm not sure why I'm not chemical dependant myself...

...Not too long ago, I had a rather brutal day at work, where I felt like Murphy's Law just took a dump on the top of my head. At that point, it almost drove me to my breaking point, & by the time I got off this shift, I wanted to just head on over to a bar/tavern to have a couple shots of liquor.

& yet... I didn't...

It's times like this where it puzzles me that I've not delved into dependence of drugs & alcohol like Alexial used to in her past.

It might be my pride, which I might be a disappointment to my mother if I were like this...

It could also be that the prospect of dying a slow death by its effects terrifies me... even if it is to an extent.

Or... it might be that I'm already dependent on a drug that I don't even know that it exists...! That might be the most likely possibility.

It's possible that there are many other reasons why I'm not like that, but even then, this is a complete mystery to me, & I highly doubt that I'll ever be able to solve it.

What doesn't break you makes you stronger.

I will admit at my last job I smoked pot pretty much all the time I wasn't on it for a while. I was really depressed. I eventually let off and had a project help occupy my time to wane off my depression. I still smoke pot occasionally but I don't feel so reliant on it anymore.