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Downward Spiral of Depression

Posted May 5th, 2015 at 2:51 AM by Candy

Lately I've been going down a route of depression regarding my faculty of choice. I mean, during my first semester I'm doing really fine. I'm throughly enjoying being in the pharmacy faculty, I'm really glad to be able to enter, especially since I really like doing practicums and experiments and whatnot.

But really, that was the first semester. If anyone realizes I post less during my first semester and more in the second. It's just that lately... I'm starting to lose my motivation in studying. I kid you not. Despite my tendencies to sleep through class, I was a note freak back at high school. I make notes on every subject, writing down everything the teachers said and even re-sort everything to prevent it from being a jumbled mess. I was diligent, even if I didn't show it at home lol.

Now that I look through the notes again, I noticed one thing: most of my notes revolve around calculations. Theories and such are almost never seen in them. I guess that I've always been terrible at memorizing since theories are mostly memorization.

Hoeever, for some reason I ended up here in pharmacy. "you have a talent for it", that's really the only comment I get from most of the people around me. I was one without any targets in life, and because of that I willingly accepted it. But now I finally see that this faculty... it's just not the one for me. Despite the many comments, I'm not fully enjoying it anymore. I'm tired. I want to leave. I know it'll dishonor my high school but I'd rather move to a major I'll enjoy than to regret coming here for the rest of my life.

I'm really sorry for a rant blog, but it really needs to get off my chest.
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  1. Old Comment
    Skip Class's Avatar
    Really sucks to hear you're not going through the best time. I can kinda understand what you're feeling since I kinda went through something similar through what you're going now. My high school expected me to be some kind of computer talented genius and do some smart computer type subject like software engineering or CompSci since that was my top subject back then. Right before I even took the class at uni I ended up quitting generally because I knew I wasn't going to be happy - Even if it was what I was good at then. Same thing happened with my music minor. I was good with the first term's composition subjects, but once I got to the second term, I wasn't enjoying it at all at quit. I'm so much more happier that I chose to do Media Design and Commerce and the change of majors/minor was definitely worth it.

    Honestly, if you, yourself (and not the people around you) really know you want to move, you think it's a better choice for you to change majors, I'd say go for it. You'll do better in something you enjoy and not what other people are you expecting you to go for. I don't know much bout your culture (especially in terms of high school and dishonoring and stuff), but I know in most cases, High school doesn't matter anymore once you've left and reached university. Uni is your new life out of high school and it should be your life to live the most out of - and not what someone else thinks you should be doing.

    I know that whole feeling of people saying "you have a talent for it", but that won't always lead you to find your true target and life purpose to what you really want to do. Sometimes you've got to take a risk and go for it.

    I really do hope things do get better for you though :)
    Posted May 5th, 2015 at 3:43 AM by Skip Class Skip Class is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Candy's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by zappyspiker View Comment
    I don't know much bout your culture (especially in terms of high school and dishonoring and stuff), but I know in most cases, High school doesn't matter anymore once you've left and reached university. Uni is your new life out of high school and it should be your life to live the most out of - and not what someone else thinks you should be doing.
    I would say the same actually... if I entered my Uni through regular exams.

    The reason why I mentioned high school is because my country implemented a system in which you're allowed to pick faculties and universities of choice (capping at 2 universities, 2 majors per university and 3 choices per student) when you're at the 12th grade, and if chosen you can enter that university without any exams needed. This is the method that got me here.

    Each high school normally has a cap limit by a university in this method. However, it's usually seen by looking at their predecessor's (is this how you spell it?) achievements and how they fare in that uni. My choice to leave may affect my juniors' chances of entering, and I really feel bad for that.
    Posted May 5th, 2015 at 7:48 AM by Candy Candy is offline