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To-do list for if I ever end up on my very own pokémon journey

Posted September 14th, 2008 at 2:33 PM by Alter Ego
Updated September 15th, 2008 at 3:05 AM by Alter Ego

So here I was, contemplating the fact that I had hit a nice, round post count of 5000 and what I should do to celebrate it, and then it struck me: I want to write a beginning pokémon trainer's to-do list in ten, neat points. When I got into writing it, however, I realized that my ten points had only scraped the surface of all the tricks in this trade, and that this whole thing would be a lot more fun if I didn't hog it all to myself. Thus, you are invited to suggest further advice for an up-and-coming pokémon master in the same point format as the ones below; all good and literate suggestions will be appreciated and added to the list. Also, as a little treat, if this actually hit 100 points, the best contributor will get to pick one topic for a future blog entry of mine, provided that it's within the bounds of good taste and something I can actually write about.

Now, without further ado, the ten first points:

1. Come starter day, I will make sure to be the last person to arrive at the pokémon laboratory. It is common knowledge that the biggest powerhouse starter is saved for last.

2. If circumstances conspire to keep me from being the last, and I arrive simultaneously with my childhood rival instead, I will insist that he pick his starter first. There may be a lot of unsavory adjectives that I would ascribe to my rival, but he knows his typecharts.

3. Unless I have a pressing need to capture new pokémon, I will stick to clearly marked roads when travelling from one city to the next. Generic forests all look alike, and the official maps never cover everything you want them to.

4. If I find myself saddled with a hopelessly weak and annoying pokémon, I will not abandon it in favor of a stronger catch but focus on raising it above all else instead. It will inevitably turn out to be a sleeper pick who'll probably wind up as an integral member of my team. If this catch was abandoned by its previous trainer for being weak, I have a sure winner.

5. I will not hand over or trade any pokémon from my team on a whim. Pawning off a trusted partner to a stranger I haven't even known for twenty-four hours is no way to establish bonds of trust and friendship and finding a good replacement at such short notice is always a hassle.

6. I will consider type match-ups in my battles. As appealing as the prospect of knocking out a Rhydon with a thunderbolt to the horn is, a simple hydro pump would accomplish the same results with far less needless drama.

7. I will carry a pair of sturdy hedge-clippers with me at all times. Those little shrubs are a lot trickier to pass than their appearance makes them out to be.

8. I will also practice the oft-maligned art of climbing ledges. If I can skip down one without sustaining any serious injury, it must surely be possible to reverse the process as well.

9. In anticipation of facing down a team of heinous villains, I will learn the basics of lock-picking. When I'm racing against time to stop an evil plot to conquer the world, I do not want to waste my precious time chasing down ten different keys all across their hideout to do so.

10. When facing off against the minions of said team, I will subdue them as quickly as possible, using as many pokémon as I need to do so and preferably before they manage to unleash any of their own. I will also make sure to check their bodies for that loose change the conscious ones try to buy me off with when I defeat them and check if any valuable electronic equipment or ornaments from their HQ can be pilfered without too much bother. Even child heroes have to eat.

And that's all for this time, folks. I'll be back...whenever, as usual and at my 10 000th post at the latest. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming. :3
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  1. Old Comment
    If I may follow your numbering...

    11. If ever facing a giant monster bent on worldwide destruction, or even just ticked that somebody woke it up, the solution is to simply catch it in a little sphere. This will always work regardless of how large or powerful said monster is.

    11a. Thus, Technology > Mythology. Always.

    12. When somebody gives you the most powerful Poke Ball ever, you can bet all of your possessions that you will soon come across the most powerful Pokemon ever.

    13. Just because a Pokemon is "Legendary" does not mean it cannot be taken out by a well-placed Stone Edge or Thunderbolt.

    14. Upon coming across a Pokemon Gym, if you find that you cannot beat the Gym Leader within, perform a good deed or make an inspirational speech. Said Leader may very well be swayed into giving you your badge anyway.

    15. If a Pokemon appears that is a different color than the rest, CATCH IT AT ALL COSTS. The exception to this is if the Pokemon in question is slug-like in form.
    Posted September 14th, 2008 at 2:46 PM by Forci Stikane Forci Stikane is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Chibi-chan's Avatar

    The Rival's List

    Here's my list for ya, Alter Boy.

    1.Arrive there first, the first always get the best; the last don't know that because well, they're last.

    2. If I don't arrive first, I'll arrive with my rival. I'll pick mine first, because the rival is still a slowpoke.

    3. I'll stay away from the paths, because all Pokemon know that Trainers want to catch them near the path. And also, if I take shortcuts, I'll always get there before my rival.
    Who is a slowpoke.

    4. I'll come across slow and unimportant Pokemon that I will skip over. The stronger ones can then become even better than those wimps.

    5. I'll trade like hell; more variety, more chances of winning the lottery. I might even get a Pokemon to evolve.

    6. I'll knock out a Rhydon with a thunderbolt for dramatic effect. I might even get an entourage.

    7. I'll get a Pokemon to cut shrubs for me, that's what they do anyway.

    8. I'll find a way to get past a ledge without climbing. That way, I can cover more ground, find more Pokemon, and find a rare item or two.

    9. I'll take forever to save the world from evil-doers. That way, they'll know my name.

    10. When facing off said villains, I won't loot them, instead, I'll leave them my name in an awesome and mysterious style, like leaving a copy of my trainer card in their unconscious mouth. They'll remember me then.

    Smell ya later.
    Posted September 14th, 2008 at 3:15 PM by Chibi-chan Chibi-chan is offline
    Updated September 14th, 2008 at 3:21 PM by Chibi-chan
  3. Old Comment
    Avey's Avatar
    Alter Ego is walking on an obvious road not to far to victory.
    Posted September 14th, 2008 at 4:32 PM by Avey Avey is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Scarlet Weather's Avatar
    16. I will inevitably encounter some sort of mad-scientist evil genius person with an insane desire to either destroy or subjugate the world. Rather than deal with this idiot myself, I will simply call the police- but not before studying his plans in careful detail so I can replicate them later.

    17. Whenever I go to a new region of some sort, I will leave all of my Pokemon except my starter with the professor back home. This will all but gurantee that five or so equally powerful Pokemon will appear and inexplicably join up with me.

    18. If my opponent, for some reason, has abandoned a Pokemon in my possession in the past, I will use that Pokemon in order to defeat him quite easily. RESENTMENT IS POWAH.

    19. If a gym leader seems to want to give up their position, I will scour the city for a member of their immediate family to take their position and then invite them to join my group. It'll help to have some peons- I mean, friends- to help get my work done.

    20. I will stay as close to my childhood rival as possible at all times, and I will never allow him to leave an area before I do. That way, I can monitor his growth at all times. After all, it's common knowledge that when rivals vanish for a short time, their reappearance heralds a dramatic level boost for their entire team.

    21. I will never simply run around looking for Pokemon to catch. Instead, I will wait until circumstances force me together with one, thus ensuring that I capture a powerful team.

    22. I will pay careful attention to all prophecies, myths, and legends, because they are always one hundred percent accurate.

    23. I will treat my rival's Pokemon with the same amount of kindness and respect that I do my own. If I'm lucky, it might defect over to my team if my angsty rival abuses it.

    24. In the unlikely event that my rival is not, in fact, angsty, I will instead challenge him to a battle as often as possible. If I continuously defeat him, I can deliver a crushing blow to his confidence and prevent him from ever surpassing me.

    25. I will carry and learn to use a tazer, just in case I run into a rare grunt who actually knows how to pull the trigger on a handgun.

    26. If I meet somebody who randomly challenges me to a battle, I will not promise to see them again, because in all likelihood they'll vanish the moment I turn the corner.

    27. I will pay close attention to the Nurse Joy in every city, to make sure that she's not the same one I ran into last time. I know a government conspiracy when I see one.

    Well, there's my list, continued from Icha's. XD
    Posted September 20th, 2008 at 6:19 PM by Scarlet Weather Scarlet Weather is offline

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