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Month, years-as time passes, change is inevitable... pt 2?

13,600
Posts
15
Years
  • Age 31
  • Seen Dec 11, 2023
While I do realize that I have used this title for a blog entry before, it's almost four in the morning and the creativity part of my brain has shut off. However, this time this blog entry isn't about Tales of Symphonia, but it is about change! Now, please note that I am typing this at like... four in the morning so there are bound to be mistakes here and there, as well as some possible random gibberish in which will make no sense at all. I assure you though that each word will at least be distinguishable!

There is always the topic of 'You've changed since I met you'. Well... I'm going to be blunt here and say 'Well duh'. Even if someone doesn't realize it themselves they've changed, even if it's a teensy bit. Sometimes the change might have been for the better, sometimes for the worse. Perhaps the change might have even been amoral, depending on how you take the change and how others around you take it as well. For the sake of this, let's call all changes 'amoral'. Sounds right to me. Think about it this way: while you can say to yourself 'I've grown mature the past few months', which you know... is supposedly a good change to most, some people come around and say 'I like you better before this and that and now you're all... different. You're not the person I know'. The reason for such a reaction could be due to several things. Perhaps they just don't understand what changed you. Maybe they don't understand the new you as well as the old you. Or maybe they're just stuck in the past and refuse to believe that you've matured and instead perhaps turned into a stuck up jerk. The possibilities are endless.

I'll take myself for example. According to sources, I've changed since I've became a Mod. Well, I certainly didn't want to change because of this one simply event that simply gave me more authority around here. I mean yes, I did change here and there, such as being more formal sometimes and being less biased, but my whole personality? Who I am? Just because I'm a mod on a Pokemon Forum? That sounds a bit silly, don't you think? Instead, how about we consider what was going on in my real life during the time of my modding.

Let's see... September... Oh right. College.

Going from High School to College is a big change in itself. I was in a new environment, a new schedule that isn't a straight eight hour day, and really... just plain different. Certainly doesn't help that my mom likes to complain to be all the time about not doing stuff around the house on my days off when I don't have studying to do (and like now, thank you very much!) among other things. I had to adapt. While I sometimes try to keep my actual opinions out of internet life, sometimes you just have to let it out. I can't have an internet facade all the time. It's quite tiresome, and people never get to know the real you! So obviously, while the semester goes on I adapt and change, and I continue to do so.

Let's take this in a different aspect now. People see the change in others and sometimes nitpick on them. However, before they do that, perhaps they should look at themselves first. "You've changed". Well, certainly you have as well, right? Of course, I guess you could have stuck to be the same and that's why it seems like my change if off and negative just because we don't always see the same views and when I say something and you try to deny it I simply don't want to continue to subject. (yay run on sentence!) But even then, how about you look at your opinion. Your actions to what happens. Maybe it's a feeling that you have about something that happened that causes you to think that they've changed dramatically. Perhaps they just see things a little differently now? Well, just because they do it's not like they're change is bad. Perhaps you're just overshadowed by an emotion that you're oh so clinging to, and it's affecting that you think about they're acting. Perhaps it's causing you to change and be more nitpicking over what they say and do.

Sometimes people change for a small period of time, yes. I mean, I know I was actually differently, which is why two weeks ago I said I would take a break. While, yes, for the most part it failed because I was still stalking and posting sometimes, I still believe that it helped. I don't feel like I should be scared over what I type anymore, and I feel like I can control my emotions on some subjects better. There are still some that are a bit touchy, but those are negative subjects that I don't like seeing anyways so it doesn't matter. But... when you say that someone has changed since this one event and you haven't seen the 'real them' since? You... might want to think back a little. Maybe you're just looking at the bad things that have happened. Or maybe... you just have to look back at the paragraph above this for the reason. Also, perhaps you just have to look back at what happeed that caused you to think this, and remember your emotions them. It could be the reason why you're thinking this!

To be honest, I don't remember what the point of this blog entry is. I think it was to say that 'just because you don't like some events that happened it doesn't mean I changed completely' or 'change is good, you just have to stop being a prisoner of the past' or... something, but I do want to say this. Regardless of what 'changes' I've gone through, it's just because of one thing. I did not change dramatically because of me becoming a mod (college started). Nor did I change because I got a boyfriend (which happened a month before finals and when a lot of stuff was going on for Speech btw). I changed because change happens, and every single freakin' one of you that think I changed a bit too much need to look at yourself. Hell, every single one of you who look at someone else and think 'you've changed too much' need to look at yourself and ponder 'why do I think they've changed too much'. Maybe it's their fault, maybe it's yours.

In about a week I'm going to be nineteen. Of course I'm not going to be the girl who goes 'omgomgomg i just ate some ramen and it was good. :D' all the time. Of course, it's a part of me so I'm still going to do thinks such as 'omgomgomg mithos looks so adorable in this ova.' and things like that, but you can't always expect the same response that you think I might have given you back a year ago. hell, a year.. half a year ago, whatever, you might have not seen the real me. Last year I kept a lot of myself out of the online world, in fright of things like this happening. I know there are several parts of a person, but things happen.

Whatever the case is, all I want to say that I'm proud of who I am. I don't care if people think I changed for the 'worse' or the better, because as far as I know change is amoral. I would just like for people to stop jumping to conclusions all the time and face the facts. I'm not going to go back to the girl who has a :D or a xD in every single post. But it doesn't mean she's gone. She's still here, you just need to accept it. If you really thing she's vanquished into thin air and you can't find her... well in the words of the lovely Penelope Garcia: "you've been rerouted to the office of 'too freakin' bad'" because whoever I am now if who I am! Of course, I'll have my bad moments of anxiety, but honestly. Who doesn't?

On another note here's the 30 days tos stuff for anyone who cares n_n

Spoiler:
 

Ho-Oh

used Sacred Fire!
35,992
Posts
18
Years
  • Age 31
  • Seen Jul 1, 2023
Good blog, Tara. :)

/doesn't have much to add, sorry
 
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