If you want to know the real me, just turn the page in my dirt road diary.
It’s right there for you to see, every kiss, every beer, every cotton field memory.
Tan legs & some Dixie Land delight, ridin’ round, windows down on a summer night.
I was there, and that was me. It's right here in my dirt road diary.

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Blargh...life update and such.

Posted May 6th, 2017 at 6:12 PM by Meganium

Hello? Hello? Anyone there?

If there's anyone here….then great. If not, then…I guess I'm just technically talking to myself, am I?

I need to apologize for not being as active as I wanted to be. There are days that I get all sprung up with activity and other days I either log on for five minutes or not even at all. So I'm probably like…just another person.

A crapload of stuff has been happening to me the past few months. Spring became the season of conventions and events, and it was also the season of allergies. (blargh). It will also be the third year that I will be working at Comicpalooza as a volunteer (going to be a senior volunteer this year), and it's going to be bigger and better than ever.

Family stuff has pretty much gone to muk right now. First off, my brother in law has been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. It's pretty scary if you look it up, and right now my older sister is stressed with taking care of him, work, and taking care of three little kids. So, it hasn't been easy for her. On top of that, my mom is thinking of filing for divorce from my dad, because of their constant fighting and lack of communication. Because of that, I have planned to visit them at the end of the month…sounds impromptu, but I think with me being around the family, things won't be too broken after all, and we would bring some joy and some hope at least.

My mental health…I believe, it's deteriorating. I did go see a doctor, and currently taking a herbal supplement to boost my positive mood. I officially have more than just anxiety. I have been diagnosed with OCD, and Borderline Personality Disorder. It really sounds like I am insane, but it's something I can't help. Apparently the diagnosis was hereditary and my mom actually has both OCD and BPD…just that she never was officially diagnosed. So it is true that I do have my mom's behavioral side. I get anxious over time, deadlines, and appointments. So anything with a date and time freaks the hell out of me. It's like a bomb going off. Even alarms freak me out, I always wake up before the alarm goes off…just so I don't have to hear it go off.

Don't even get me started on my relationship. Lately I have been getting so many nightmares about myself and my boyfriend. Mostly about him cheating on me for another girl as well as him killing me. I'm trying to wonder…why am I getting these weird-ass dreams? I know Roy would never do that to me. Apparently the main reason why is…I'm feeling extremely detatched, or disconnected from him. Mainly due to our extremely busy schedules (him with his final-final semester coming soon (ended up failing this semester so he won't be able to graduate this month) and myself with work piling up really quickly every week (I'm very favored at work due to my skills in technology)). It's…crazy. Our two-year anniversary is coming up this Wednesday, and we haven't done plans. I know we'll be at Comicpalooza next weekend, which is our way of celebrating our anniversary, but we didn't do anything special along with that…which kinda concerns me a bit. Not that I'm asking too much anyways.

Then again, I think my trip to California coming up at the end of the month will do me some good. I do need to leave Texas for a while and get reacquainted with my family, especially my sister's.

To be honest with you, I can't guarantee my activity on PC anymore. I'm currently moderating a server on Discord and that has taken up some of my time. Not to mention work and being Super Girlfriend. I need some Meggy time, desperately, but that time will come soon! So, when I'm online posting, that's proooobably because I have actual time to be online. Lmao.

Hope everyone is well, I miss you guys so much! I miss all the good times I had with everyone on here, as well as all those silliness we had. I mean, I really do apologize for leaving so frequently. I will try my best to stick around as much as I can. But for now, when I'm on, I'm really on. Lol.
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