If you want to know the real me, just turn the page in my dirt road diary.
It’s right there for you to see, every kiss, every beer, every cotton field memory.
Tan legs & some Dixie Land delight, ridin’ round, windows down on a summer night.
I was there, and that was me. It's right here in my dirt road diary.

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The Future is Scary

Posted July 24th, 2014 at 9:47 PM by Meganium

The way I think about it…it’s like you’re closing a book you’ve been reading for a bazillion years and you’re about to start a brand new one. That’s literally how I feel right now. I just finished a crucial 6-week class, studying Biological Psychology. The class was awesome and I enjoyed every minute of it. I will miss the professor though, it was actually her final class as she’s moving up north to Stockton.

I need two more classes to receive my next degree. However, things “after graduation” are looking extremely bright, as I’m presented with an opportunity that I really don’t think I’ll let it pass up, and it’ll allow me to transfer with most if not all classes I’ve taken here (and at San Diego) and go for a Bachelor’s. You see, my dad’s company has a program where family members of employees in said company can go to college with scholarships as well as a 50% tuition discount in select universities across the country. Three in Pennsylvania (Philadelphia and Lancaster), one in Georgia (Atlanta), two in Tennessee (Nashville), and one in Texas (Houston). I immediately chose Houston because 1. It’s relatively cheaper, 2. I have friends there, 3. The school there is near downtown. Ideas and plans begin to unfold for me as I started to HECTICLY do some research. If I do get accepted, then I could be moving there in February of next year. Honestly, I really want to do this. Anything to get out of here.

Why? I live in a town where dreams are shattered the moment you step on this land. A town where you have a reputation, and people will KNOW your reputation. A town where you find yourself flipping off more than one driver because the drivers here are absolutely horrible. I've unlocked every gruesome secret in my 8 years living in this area, and people are right...this is the worst area to live in. 115+ degree temperatures, lack of affordable medical care (I had to go across the border to get better and affordable medical care), people cheating to get government benefits. After graduating college in San Diego, I returned here solely for helping out my mom who had to go across the border every other weekend to care for my sick grandmother, who unfortunately...is no longer with us. What's left now? Family drama, family drama all over the freaking place.

Since my grandmother passed away, every family gathering I've gone to (mom's birthday, Good Friday, Easter Sunday) are no longer fun and enjoyable. I'm normally chatting with cousins or with my great aunts and uncles, but now I ended up sitting at the couch talking to nobody. I was always on my phone sending messages to friends. It felt pretty lonely, so after that Easter Sunday gathering, I vowed to never go back. I then realized that I no longer have a point of being here, and it's finally time to move on with my own life. My family no longer needs my help, which was the main reason why I moved back in the first place. My initial plan was to return to San Diego to build my life there, but with the opportunity to move to Houston came up, I decided to become fully committed to it. It took me a few days to finally decide whether I want to do it or not, I even made a list of advantages and disadvantages.

Surprisingly, I had more advantages than disadvantages! The only disadvantage would be that I'll be COMPLETELY on my own (I don't even have family there, just friends). Advantages include: living in a big city which is what I always wanted, better chance at getting my credits transferred, earning scholarships, bf and I will FINALLY have the same timezone as well as be closer (we'll be 11 hours & 2 states apart instead of 27 D:), and finally, the weather is more interesting (and cooler) than...here. That was it.

At this point, I've never felt so excited about the future in my life. But at the same time, the thought of it is scary. But hey, it'll be fun, right? I just gotta commit to this dream. I gotta work hard for it. I'm graduating next semester with an Associates in Information Systems. Getting a Bachelors specializing in networking would boost up my chances at getting a great career. I'm also thinking of minoring in Business, as the university I'm planning on attending has a really great business program. Or, I could also major in Business too. One or the other.

The possibilities are priceless. Excited and scared are the only two moods I can describe right now.
Posted inLife in California
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