The mumblings and nonsense of a deeply confused man.
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Yup, I've lost it

Posted January 22nd, 2013 at 5:14 PM by Sir Codin
Updated January 22nd, 2013 at 7:29 PM by Sir Codin

Okay, so school started for me today. I got up at 6am for the first time in hell if I know.

First vertebrate history; we go out bird watching. Blue jays are awesome, but poison oak isn't. It's starting to spread to campus; they gotta do something about that. I can't help but admire the plant; it causes rashes like crazy, but that trait is how it thrives in an environment. I wish I had the ability to give rashes to something I touch, especially if I could choose which people who touch me get rashes, because there's so many people I want to touch and give rashes to because I think they deserve it.

I've been pissed off the entire day. Not sure why. I think it has something to do with violence seemingly rising in the U.S. Anti-gunnners blame lack of gun control. Pro-gunners blame other things. NRA blames video games, then makes a cell phone app or something to teach people to shoot and they wonder why people don't take them seriously. And I get frightened when people advocate ridding the Second Amendment, then I'm under the impression people hate me because I don't agree with such things. Then I get pissed even more, then I start to doubt myself, wonder if I'm wrong and I hate being wrong, which pisses me off even more, and I hate them being right, which pisses me off even more.

Actually, f*** it, the entire gun debate is pissing me off. I need to stop reading or participating in it; I've had too many bouts of depression, thoughts of self-harm, and days ruined because of it. While I'm at it, cut politics in general out of my day, too. Of course, that's impossible because it's everywhere and you're considered an idiot for being bad at it. Like being bad at mathematics and science is somehow less of a problem. That's bull. I think the entire nation (rest of the world, too, maybe?) would do good to stop it with talks of the debt ceiling, gun policy, gay rights, religion, war, and abortion debates for at least 7 days (impossible, I know, but you could at least try, world) and pick up a biology book. Or at least read the entirety of Wikipedia's List of Common Misconceptions several times:

Man, I love xkcd. It's one of my favorite web comics ever. I feel intelligent every time I actually get the joke. Of course, I feel like a moron every time I don't. Great, now I've developed a love-hate relationship with what used to be one of my favorite web comics. Cyanide & Happiness is awesome too. I especially love the title. Has a nice ring to it and sometimes I get so pissed that cyanide seems like the path to happiness.

Here you are reading a blog post. Here you are reading a blog post. Here you are reading a blog post. Here you are still reading a blog post. Here you are still reading a blog post. Here you are still reading a blog post, again. Yep, you're still reading it. Still reading it. Still reading a blog post off some community website dedicated to a game series where you stick creatures in a baseball-sized capsule and use them in cockfights and the site sometimes bugs out when you're about to post something big and you're pissed off that now that you can't post it and you wasted a lot of time writing something that's now down the toilet. Next time save it in a word document. You're still reading this wondering were the hell am I going with this. Again, still reading it. Now you're mad because I never went anywhere with this paragraph and you just wasted about at least 20 seconds of your precious life and you're now closer to death with nothing accomplished with those wasted seconds. You're welcome.

Anyway, back to my first day back at school. I go to this class dedicated to Plant & Animal Form and Function. As is customary, we spent the entire day going over the syllabus and reviewing stuff I already know, like Cell Theory, Theory of Evolution, chemical functional groups, chemical bonds, amino acids, polymerization resulting in more complex molecules and therefore is a reduction in entropy, protein structures and functions and the laws of thermodynamics. The first law of thermodynamics is you don't talk about thermodynamics. The second law about thermodynamics is you do NOT talk about thermodynamics. Depressing thing is, half of you are probably not going to get that reference. Watch Fight Club. Freaking movie and freaking book changed my life. So did The Big Lebowski. Okay, not really, but it's still a funny film. Unless you're adverse to intense amounts of f-bombs, in which case, forget it. You're just going to get offended. Why are you so serious? It's just four alphabetic characters arranged in a way that spells a string that has various meanings depending on its usage. It's not that bad.

Where am I going with this? Nowhere really. I just had a really depressing day because my mind is filled with all of the above, I'm 22, I have no girlfriend, no girl thinks I'm attractive, I haven't been laid in...never, and not even heavy metal is being soothing this time, which it usually is. People find that weird. You're the weird ones. Seriously, people are weird. There are more states in the U.S. that allow first cousin marriage than allow gay marriage. How effed up is that?

One last thing that depresses me. I'm sure at least 25% of you are going to go "tl;dr" and not read everything in this post. Why don't you go "tl;dr" yourself? I find funny how people can read numerous small posts on the internet, but can't read one long one. It's as bad as people complaining about songs that are longer than 6 minutes. Funny, you can listen to six 3-minute songs, but can't listen to a single one that's 18-minutes long. People are the worst.

Most of this is not meant to be taken seriously, by the way. Actually, it is, I'm just disingenuously trying to make you less irritated at what I've wrote. I just had an extremely depressing and boring day.

I'm still bored. I'm gonna take a nap now.

Okay, nap's over.

I think I'm starting to lose it. Am I losing it? I think I'm losing it.

Yup, I've lost it.
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  1. Old Comment
    Kura's Avatar
    Still reading this blog post, yup still reading this blog post.. still reading! X3

    I hope tomorrow is a much better day for you! Maybe waking up early added to your grouchiness? I know it tends to happen with me ;o;
    I try not to follow politics because it gets me too irritated too :c.. *pat* but try not to doubt yourself!!!
    Posted January 23rd, 2013 at 3:52 PM by Kura Kura is offline

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