Aquacorde
⟡ dig down, dig down ⟡
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- Age 30
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A TALE OF DISTRESS
discord logs edited slightly for easier reading~bread pansexual - Yesterday at 11:34 PM
oh hell you guys wanna hear all the SHIT that goes down in this house??
im gonna tell u anyway bc it's amazing how bad it is
so first off we moved in here in may 2015. previous renters had left at the beginning of april. landlords hadn't cleaned or repainted ANYTHING- all the (half-assed) cleaning that had been done was by the previous renters
the house still had a ton of their stuff in it and the garage was packed with prev renters + landlord's stuff!
we had to clean out the yard and house with minimal help?
and it was not good yikes like. their kids had colored on a ton of the walls and the floors were beat to hell and they painted two of the rooms the brightest pink and green you have ever seen
shit needs like 8 gallons of primer to conceal
a month down the line we find out that we can't have the water to the outside hose on all the time bc it just constantly drips- no, SPRAYS- both on the inside and outside of the house
and floods the basement if left on for more than like 10 min
#quality
when it starts raining more, we find out that the basement just floods all the time anyway- like an inch of water over half the floor. everything starts getting moldy real quick bc of that
landlord says "oh just run the dehumidifier it will dry out" like. boy. nah.
so that happens a lot. still.
Spoiler:
this is our kitchen circa five minutes ago.
it has been like this since december 14 2015
bc in like october we were like "yo landlord, the ceiling is dripping in to the sink?"
and landlord was like "ok i'll look"
and then in nov we were like "hey landlord the doorway to the stairs is dripping"
landlord was like "ok let's put a bucket there"
and in dec we were like "hey landlord, we can just abt take a shower in the doorway here"
landlord was like "oh boy how did this happen"
NEGLIGENCE BUDDY. NEGLIGENCE
so finally he did some tightening of some pipes or something and the leaks mostly stopped but then had to tear down the wall because everything was moldy and rotting
also- he let my housemate tear down the wall while standing on that sink area WHILE DRUNK
she fell off but that's her own damn fault anyway
in jan we were like "yo landlord we're kind of getting sick from all this exposed mold and nasty shit?"
landlord was like "ah yeah we're gonna re-do all the pipes so it might be a little longer"
Johnny - Yesterday at 11:47 PM
That sounds like quality sit com, Anna
bread pansexual - Yesterday at 11:47 PM
in feb we were like "hey landlord its been two months"
landlord was like "oh yeah our contractor has gotten sick sorry we're gonna see if he gets better soon"
march:
- "hey so how's the contracter?"
- "oh he died"
- "?!"
Kyle - Yesterday at 11:47 PM
:wat:
Johnny - Yesterday at 11:47 PM
:wat:
BashfulTurtle - Yesterday at 11:48 PM
:wat:
bread pansexual - Yesterday at 11:48 PM
april:
- "so are you guys gonna get a new contractor?"
- "yeah maybe"
- "my brother can help you out he knows stuff"
- "yeah ok"
may:
- "so, any progress?"
- "sorry we're going to india for three weeks to get this child we're adopting. btw you have to take care of our children while we're gone"
Kyle - Yesterday at 11:49 PM
this guy is my idol tbh
a legend of procrastination
Johnny - Yesterday at 11:49 PM
Best landlord
bread pansexual - Yesterday at 11:50 PM
june:
- "hey so-"
- "our new child has incredibly bad social-emotional issues and we can't handle more than taking care of him rn"
july:
- "um about-"
- "wanna go on a week-long camping trip with our slowly dissolving family?"
august:
- "hey landlord..."
- "ya"
- "about out house? it's falling apart..."
- "ok"
september:
- "it's been nine months... we could have gestated a baby and we still do not have a wall."
- "ahaha! funny"
october:
- "it's starting to rain a lot and our basement is flooding every other day..."
- "are you running the dehumidifier?"
- "yes but there's mold everywhere-"
- "shhhhhhhhhh"
Kyle - Yesterday at 11:54 PM
this is a truly epic tale
bread pansexual - Yesterday at 11:54 PM
november:
- "hey it's been almost a year and we still don't-"
- "election"
Kyle - Yesterday at 11:54 PM
lmao
this is why everyone should come live with me
bread pansexual - Yesterday at 11:55 PM
other convos include:
- "guys get that ugly chair off the porch so the neighbors dont call an inspector"
- "can we have a wall first?"
- "no"
- "guys mow your lawn so your neighbor doesn't complain"
- "you have to fix our lawnmower first"
- "oh. give me three weeks."
Johnny - Yesterday at 11:56 PM
HAHAHAHA
bread pansexual - Yesterday at 11:57 PM
- "hey landlord, our dryer broke again"
- "oh let me get a new one this time... might take a while... gotta take the safety rails off the stairs so dont do anything that will make the inspectors come"
- "hey landlord our shower handle broke. i think we need to get a metal one instead of a plastic one"
- "oh but they're like $10 more imma get you a plastic one"
- "ok...."
- 2 months later
- "hey landlord our shower handle-- you know what nevermind."
- thats when i just went and bought a metal one
- "hey landlord our toilet won't stop running and we dont know why?"
- "oh yeah i bought smthn to fix that like three months ago how about you just go ahead and do it"
- "um"
- "hey landlord our toilet overflowed and it's now dripping through the floor and into our kitchen sink"
- "idk man just get a bucket"
Kyle - Today at 12:01 AM
okay seriously
what the fuck
bread pansexual - Today at 12:02 AM
AND FOR THE FINALE:
- "hey guys we're gonna get you a wall soon!!"
- "oh shit nice! so that means you're fixing the pipes so they don't leak all over the new one?"
- "no"
- "um"
:)))))
Altaria - Today at 12:03 AM
"hey anna your rent money is past due" "idk man just get some leaves okay they look like money more or less" "um" (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง two can play this game punkeroo
^ what the fuck am i saying
bread pansexual - Today at 12:04 AM
you know i may not have paid november rent yet
oh well
- "hey landlord there are centipedes all over the house and it's gross and i hate it when is the exterminator coming?"
- "what's an exterminator?"
so yes this is why we are buying a house in early 2017 yall
what a fuckin disaster
also it's an old-ass house that has had 0 maintenance in like 25 years so like. all the doorways are at a 45 degree angle, none of the doors shut smoothly, none of the floors are actually level, all of the floors have deep scratches in them, there are two rooms that have literally never been painted outside of primer on top of drywall.
#quality
