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The Battle Server

Posted October 13th, 2016 at 2:51 PM by Athelstan

A lot of people may not know me or haven't seen me in a while, and the main reason for this is because of my experience on the battle server. I've never really wanted to speak about this publicly but as someone who now feels irrelevant on the server and more lonely than ever on the forums, the consequences are insignificant to me.

I used to be a very active member on the forums, most commonly known as lucaslucario or Pave Low to those that do recognise me. I also used to be a very active member on the battle server. In my first year of using the battle server, I felt that I had a platform to enjoy myself and make new friends, which I did. But things that have happened to me on there have also prevented me from being active on the forums. I wanted to share my experience not just because of the negative impact it has had on me, but on some other people that have talked to me about this too.

Okay, so, as I said before my first year was fine and all but things started to decline fairly quickly. Naturally, I wanted to interact with more people so I was getting involved in more conversations and there were a few times where I got carried away. However, in the spirit of things, it wasn't easy for me to suddenly stop. Except, in hindsight, although people knew I was stepping a bit over the line with my language, no one ever really said anything to me and I eventually received a ban with extremely little warning. It would have been nice if a member of staff could have sent me a PM telling me to tone it down and I wouldn't have had a problem with that, but instead I had just received a ban. Up to this point, I had met and befriended several members and had built up good relationships with a lot of these people. Weeks after, when I was free to use the server, it felt entirely different. I felt as if my ban had meant that I could no longer "banter" with members like before, especially staff, like I had been judged and there was no second chance. I'm going to give the names of two staff members who I feel my relationship has declined massively; Christos and Chase. These guys are both good people, I know that as well as many here, but my relationship with them is representative of my relationship with basically everyone on the server now. Before I had got a ban, I used to feel like I could easily talk to them, have a good amount of "inside" jokes and genuinely felt happier when they were online. After the ban, it was never the same. They weren't replying to me in the same way, I saw them interacting with users in the way I used to and I wasn't able to get the same sort of responses from them like I did in the past. It was effectively the same with all the (staff) members I tried to talk to and that really left me feeling down. I know I made some mistakes but I was made to feel like I committed an unforgivable crime. When I tried to get involved with conversations again, I was oft ignored or just mentioned and the others moved on again. There was a time when, each time I joined the server, people would be saying hi to me before I even said anything. It made me want to be there. But for a while I've got no response, even at times where I have said hi, I have had no response. Most of my relationships I had on the server made me interact with them more on PC and so I enjoyed being here more. As soon as I started to feel cast out on the server, that carried over to PC. I mean, it has got to the point where I'm actually asking people questions via VM and not getting any response whatsoever, even though I had a healthy relationship with these people. Each time I try to become at least a little bit relevant to people and their conversations, it seems like I can't be heard unless I say something which is "a bit much". Ever since my ban, nothing has been the same.

I can't name a single member that would consider me a friend anymore. I made some mistakes, tried to apologise, mocked instead of forgiven.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Christos's Avatar
    I think an actual apology/appeal to the battle server staff, since you were still causing trouble after returning from a ban could change people's attitude towards you. To me, it seemed like every time you were on it was as if you were just trying to see how long you could last before getting banned, and not taking things very seriously.

    However, we still love you (deep down), even though your Sigilyph team sucks.
    Posted October 14th, 2016 at 2:05 AM by Christos Christos is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Sanguine's Avatar
    Lucas, I'd be the first to agree that you got carried away at times, and considering the situation I'd also say that your ban was deserved. You screwed up.

    But psyduck holding grudges. There's a reason that we were pretty good friends at one point, right? You're an amazing guy, who can actually be funny when you're not spamming my profile with bloody gifs (ok I love them) and I still think of you as a friend. I might not be as active as I once was, but I'd love to have one of our dumbest battles sometime!

    VM or PM me anytime, hugs and kisses etc etc <3
    Posted October 14th, 2016 at 2:13 AM by Sanguine Sanguine is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Athelstan's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Christos View Comment
    I think an actual apology/appeal to the battle server staff, since you were still causing trouble after returning from a ban could change people's attitude towards you. To me, it seemed like every time you were on it was as if you were just trying to see how long you could last before getting banned, and not taking things very seriously.

    However, we still love you (deep down), even though your Sigilyph team sucks.
    You knew I genuinely felt very guilty after my ban, I sent you a PM to ask if we could talk about it on Skype. I asked for your advice on how to proceed with the incident, I followed what you said. I made an effort to redeem myself but no one else knew that. I was doomed the moment I was mentioned in the server staff forum. With the incident regarding Sang, I messaged her on Skype and via PM on the server saying sorry and tried to explain everything as best as possible. Apologising to other staff wouldn't have had an impact on the way people reacted to me on the server and on the absence of friendly feeling within conversations. I continued to act in the way I did because it felt like no one really gave a muk about me anymore. I was trying to enjoy my time and it seemed impossible to do so by acting "normal" because my input in conversations carried less weight than they used to. I was told off for "excessive use of sexually explicit language", like psyducking really? It's as if I was the only person who was infringed for this yet several other members did the same thing. Do you remember, Christos, when I was fairly new and we got along really well? Around the time you were giving me emblems and when Ashley was active. That was when I was enjoying myself. I didn't suddenly change my use of language on the server because I felt like it, I was influenced. I saw others do it, quite a lot in some cases, and it seemed fine to do so. But they were never infringed. Furthermore, I was never told to stop doing something until I was already over the line. No one reached out to me before a potential ban and told me to stop/slow down.

    I doubt I'll come back to the server again because it will never feel the way it once did. I've talked to multiple people who felt like muk after server incidents. I popped on for a little bit the other day to see if there was anyone online who I wanted to talk to but it appears as if I'm blacklisted or something because I got banned within moments of just connecting to the server. We've had good times but it is effectively over and was probably over a long time ago.

    Just to add, I wanted to mention a specific incident involving myself and sri that happened a while back on the server because it was a time where I felt hurt. He said something mockingly to me in the chat which related to a personal experience I had, which made it feel worse. I let him know this and he just continued to mock me further. Bare in mind, this was happening in the main lobby. The only response he got was laughter and even though I told him how I felt, no one even cared. There were staff online at this point and it seemed like that behaviour was fine.
    Posted October 14th, 2016 at 8:42 AM by Athelstan Athelstan is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Athelstan's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Sanguine View Comment
    Lucas, I'd be the first to agree that you got carried away at times, and considering the situation I'd also say that your ban was deserved. You screwed up.

    But psyduck holding grudges. There's a reason that we were pretty good friends at one point, right? You're an amazing guy, who can actually be funny when you're not spamming my profile with bloody gifs (ok I love them) and I still think of you as a friend. I might not be as active as I once was, but I'd love to have one of our dumbest battles sometime!

    VM or PM me anytime, hugs and kisses etc etc <3
    Somehow, after my biggest ban incident revolved around you, you were the only one who treated me the same way as you did before. I reached out to you, we talked it out seriously, and the whole thing was fine. Cool. But that was not the same with anyone else. I felt eternally marked as a bad member. You were awesome to talk to, I spammed you with gifs at times when I felt lonely and had no one else to really talk to on the server. However, when I was sending you VMs with no reply it was just like "oh even Renee doesn't feel like talking anymore". We have an eventful server history, the vast majority of it being muks and giggles, and as much as I would love to carry that on I doubt I'll be able to. I honestly just feel done with the server and want to basically move on with my life. I needed to get all this crap off my chest because I felt as though I needed people to know what I was feeling. Others feel the same way, too.
    Posted October 14th, 2016 at 8:59 AM by Athelstan Athelstan is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Dark Azelf's Avatar
    I agree as you know.

    The main issue here is inconsistency, i spoke with Anti about this too as he basically agreed with that.

    Double standards and arbitrary, subjective tumblr cultural Marxism does not a good server make, especially when there is clear evidence when its alienating members (who have been there for years...when this alleged "bad behavior" was fine in the past...lol ?_?) and the fact there are dwindling numbers of people. Dont even get me started on how awful the communication is in regards to things like this. :\
    Posted November 21st, 2016 at 12:32 PM by Dark Azelf Dark Azelf is offline
    Updated November 21st, 2016 at 12:47 PM by Dark Azelf
  6. Old Comment
    Athelstan's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Dark Azelf View Comment
    I agree as you know.

    The main issue here is inconsistency, i spoke with Anti about this too as he basically agreed with that.

    Double standards and arbitrary, subjective tumblr cultural Marxism does not a good server make, especially when there is clear evidence when its alienating members (who have been there for years...when this alleged "bad behavior" was fine in the past...lol ?_?) and the fact there are dwindling numbers of people. Dont even get me started on how awful the communication is in regards to things like this. :\
    I would've gone in a lot harder here but had to keep it soft for PC lol
    Posted December 1st, 2016 at 9:17 AM by Athelstan Athelstan is offline
 

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