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I'm finally getting around to doing this. (Day 1-8 of 365)

If you want to know the real me, just turn the page in my dirt road diary.
It’s right there for you to see, every kiss, every beer, every cotton field memory.
Tan legs & some Dixie Land delight, ridin’ round, windows down on a summer night.
I was there, and that was me. It's right here in my dirt road diary.

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I'm finally getting around to doing this. (Day 1-8 of 365)

Posted January 8th, 2017 at 9:30 PM by Meganium

Mood: Calm I guess…
Listening to: That's My Girl by Fifth Harmony

What happened the first 8 days of 2017? At least I didn't break my resolution to blog once a day lmao.

Jan 1: First day of recovery
Happy New Year! I managed to get enough sleep after partying it hard last night (December 31st). Roy and I woke up at 11:30 am after sleeping at around 4 am last night. I was asked by my manager at work to come in for a few hours but I did not receive a phone call to confirm my "necessity", so I decided to head on over to Roy's brother's warehouse to help out clean.

We got the majority of the stuff taken out of the warehouse, and with me and my car, it helped Roy's brother a lot.

So, it was a decent New Year's Day. I was hoping to relax that day, but I couldn't. Then again, it was worth it. While I was driving back to Galveston county, I had to stop to put gas in my car. Roy's dad calls him and his words were overheard by me. Roy's dad was talking about me on the phone, and how I was starting to be a "risk" to him. Seeing that he hasn’t has a successful marriage with his wife (Roy's mom), he fears it may happen the same way for him. When I got in the car, I overheard the words, "Relationships are a waste of time. All relationships don't last long. Don't waste time with her." I know Roy will listen to anything his dad will say, and he will do what he says. But when he told him those words, that made me feel scared. What if Roy's dad tells him to leave me? I was having an anxiety attack to the point that I had to stop driving for a bit and try to relax. I could not talk to Roy throughout the trip back, and I told him I needed space.

Ugh, what a rocky turn of events. His mom was able to give me some clarity about how his dad tends to be an asshole. Now I know what kind of person he is, and now I have to bite what was already been chewed. I think after that night, I lost all respect for Roy's dad. I really did.

Jan 2: Back to work!
I work at a tech support shop at an office store. My main priority for my job is to be sure I take care of work orders by clients. Computers, laptops anything techy is what I do. So, a lot of peeps at work were so happy that I came back. Even clients were happy that I have returned with my wonderful knowledge.

Jan 3: Target
I decided to go to Target today to buy an external hard drive. So after work, I picked up Roy from our place, and we drove there. While I was aiming for a 1 tb external, Roy wanted to get something for his mom for her birthday tomorrow (January 4th). Quite honestly I kinda wished he planned it a little earlier, or when I was available before work. I'm pretty excited I finally got an external hard drive. I've been wanting one for Christmas.

Jan 4: Birthday stress
You know what really pisses me off? When people slack off on time-sensitive things. Today is Roy's mom's birthday, and we didn’t do muk. Even though his mom keeps saying she doesn't want us to buy anything, I had planned to buy her some flowers. Meanwhile we don't even have a cake, and our plan was to drive all over town for a Tiramisu cake.

The mom loved what we got for her though! She loved the plant I got for her, and Roy got her a new coffee grinder. However, I wish Roy would have handled it a bit easier to where he planned it earlier. But then again, that's just my opinion.

Jan 5: When you're trying to achieve a resolution but apparently the other person isn't doing their part…

Sometimes whenever I want to get some companionship with Roy, there are times I tend to get these vibes that he wants to have his own space and whatnot. I always, always let him have his space no matter what. I just wish he would tell me and not give me signs. Today I snapped, because when I tried asking him questions he flat out ignored me, and he wouldn’t tell me what was going on. He insisted that he wasn't ignoring me or wasn't trying to hurt me. The balance in our relationship was out of control. This is a resolution I needed to work on, because it just sounds like we're not in balance anymore. Here we go with another power struggle.

What's even worse? The mom was involved in our argument. I couldn't handle it. I had to call my workplace to see if they needed help. They did, actually. So I told Roy that I am going to be stepping out and won't be coming back until late (late = 8:30 pm), and to enjoy his time alone. I left for work, and did not come back nor heard a peep ever since.

I felt calm when I'm at work. My co-workers and managers are good at listening to my rants and stuff about my crazy life. It's like I can release everything that I have in my mind and be at a calmer state. Maybe work…is my therapy when I'm around good people.

Jan 6: 38 degrees
A huge cold front filled with Canadian Arctic air has pushed through the Houston-Galveston area and it has produced….not-California-friendly temperatures. It did not reach 40 degrees that day. I was shocked!

I worked all week, so I deserved a day off. So, I told my manager that I would use the day to relax (or try to) and maybe catch up on a Z or two. Suddenly, my wonderful boyfriend ended up having plans to take me out. He wanted me to "unwind" after a week full of work. I had to be honest with him. I really wasn't up for it, especially since the weather was so cold that I really should stay inside for the day. But he insisted that I should go. Let me tell y'all…I moved to Houston with no cold weather clothing. I had to wear at least 3-4 sweaters in order to keep myself warm. I kept insisting and insisting he should reschedule until Sunday (I don't work sundays), but he refused. So I had to get my ass off the chair, shower, straighten my hair, do make up, and layer myself up with five jackets, a scarf, boots with two layers of socks, and a hat. He was happy that I was able to get ready, but I was really pissed off.

We ended up driving to a retro video game store, which to be quite honest it was really underwhelming knowing that he was the one wanting to go, not me. I didn’t feel like browsing. The cold was really getting to me and I was starting to get a migraine. I urged Roy to let me go to the car and warm up, because the store's heater wasn't on. He got annoyed and gave me the keys. I waited a while for him to finish browsing and he ended up buying a couple of things. My migrane was getting worse, and Roy ended up taking me back to the house. He kept telling me that I should be getting used to this weather because it happens often, and that I will never survive the weather in New York. But he needs to understand that I did not grow up in snowy weather. I'm a sunny beach person, I prefer warmth.

Later on when he dropped me off at the house, he gave me a bag with a PS1 game. It was the original Crash Bandicoot game that was super expensive at the store! I wanted to cry. I later realized that maybe I was a bit too bitter with the cold, and I would have been cooperative with him as to how he actually made time for me after a long week at work. So I told his mom that I would be gone for a bit. I ended up going to a nearby Gamestop and bought him a Skylanders figuring that he's been wanting for months. That would probably make his day at least. He bought dinner to eat at home instead of going out, and that we agreed that he will make a day for me again the next time I am off (that's not on a Sunday). Man, I gotta be less bitter with the cold. I just miss the warmth.

Jan 7: Work Order
I decided to go to work three hours earlier than anticipated because a customer's work order hasn't been finished. I needed to get that done today before she flies back to her home in Massachussetts. It was 26 degrees, colder than yesterday. I needed 30 minutes to heat up my car. My boyfriend's mom was rushing me to get ready, while I was making breakfast for myself and the family. She urged Roy to go check on my car and to turn it on. She got scared that someone would steal my car while it was trying to warm itself up (the engine needs to be hot before my car can actually drive), but it was really making me feel nervous that she was standing OUTSIDE IN THE COLD with my car running. I ended up rushing myself out the door without eating my breakfast and coffee, for the sake of her. She did not have to do that.

Later on at work, I was able to get the work order for the MA woman ready to go. Then, Roy came by with a surprise lunch. He got worried that I was surviving this long day without a full stomach (got coffee at work). Sometimes I want to hug the guy, kiss the guy, other times I want to choke the guy. Hashtag relationships. >_>

The lady later came by right after Roy left and she approved of my computer work. I was pretty happy that my work was satisfied, and proceeded to helping out my other co-workers and managers with their day-to-day work.

Jan 8: I get to finally relax.
Sundays! I love Sundays. I get to finally relax after a long, rough week. I mostly played video games and write. Roy's brother came by to visit, and we had Asian food from a great Chinese restaurant. I also got to play the first Crash Bandicoot game on my new PS2 that I got for Christmas. I keep forgetting that the first game is extremely unforgiving, so I need to pack in some patience on that!
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