• Our software update is now concluded. You will need to reset your password to log in. In order to do this, you will have to click "Log in" in the top right corner and then "Forgot your password?".
  • Forum moderator applications are now open! Click here for details.
  • Welcome to PokéCommunity! Register now and join one of the best fan communities on the 'net to talk Pokémon and more! We are not affiliated with The Pokémon Company or Nintendo.

Everyone Needs A Home

jombii

[FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][SIZE=4][COLOR=#00b05
3,416
Posts
9
Years
So, nobody here knows this, but I've just rented out my condominium unit which served as my home since January 2015. It's the first place really where I felt really at home, where I felt really comfortable, where I really learned how to enjoy my solitude. I learned a lot of life lessons while I was living there; paying the bills, cooking a basic meal, grocery shopping, money budgeting, and all those things. For three years, whenever I go anywhere, I was confident that I had that 23 square feet of heaven where I can be totally at rest.

Now, I just acquired a job. If I'm going to live in the condominium unit, I will be paying all the bills I will be having there (since my parents basically pay for everything before) and I knew I would not be able to afford to live there. Also, my work is almost 2 to 2.5 hours away from the condominium so I opted to move out and move to a nearer boarding house. My parents decided to put up the condominium for rent. Two weeks ago, the new borders moved in and I was now forced to spend all my time in the boarding house near work.

And my depression suddenly seemed to rear its ugly head again.

The new house I was living in was not a home; it is just a place where I sleep in and leave the moment I wake up. The condominium unit was a home; I could stay there for hours and days and still be happy. It was a sanctuary and now it was no longer mine. So when anything bad happens, instead of going to the condo and being happy, I go to the boarding house and be sad. And that feeling of homelessness is taking its toll on me.

I'm not making sense, am I?

Let me rewind: lost a home, not a house. I am feeling sad because I don't feel comfortable anywhere. I feel restless. I drift. I feel depressed.

And now, I'm not even on good terms with my housemates. There's basically no more reason for me to stay here in this house but I have nowhere to go. I have nowhere I can feel at home.

I don't have a place to feel safe, to feel loved, to feel comfortable.

I don't think anyone could feel like this about a place but I do. All I want right now is a home.

And I've got none.
 

smocks

fiat lux
1,393
Posts
7
Years
I totally understand what you're saying.

I've moved 4 times in these past 5 years and feeling out of your own element and skin isn't something I personally would never want to go through again. (One of the places I lived in was too cold for me which made me sick all the time and I was absolutely miserable)

Honestly, there's nothing much you can do if the environment around you doesn't suit you sadly from my experience ): But you can definitely try adding something to your home or find something to help cope with the displacement in a way.

Otherwise, I'm sending you all my love and strength. Hang in there! Remember, you're not going to live there forever anyways.
 

jombii

[FONT=Franklin Gothic Medium][SIZE=4][COLOR=#00b05
3,416
Posts
9
Years
smocks;bt106389 said:
I totally understand what you're saying.

I've moved 4 times in these past 5 years and feeling out of your own element and skin isn't something I personally would never want to go through again. (One of the places I lived in was too cold for me which made me sick all the time and I was absolutely miserable)

Honestly, there's nothing much you can do if the environment around you doesn't suit you sadly from my experience ): But you can definitely try adding something to your home or find something to help cope with the displacement in a way.

Otherwise, I'm sending you all my love and strength. Hang in there! Remember, you're not going to live there forever anyways.

thank you. I don't how to redecorate my new home to suit my style but I have no plans to do so anyway. I am thinking of resigning from work and getting a job nearer to my parents' residence. Unlike in America, living with parents' isn't as shameful as it is here in the Philippines. I just hope I get to feel that way again with another house.
 
Back
Top