Let's Play Pokemon Dark Rising! Chapter 16 (FINALE)

[Final Area theme: CORE]

Core will be playing through all of the Elite Four non-stop. It's only appropriate.



"It's a shame I have to send such a bright young star STRAIGHT TO THE DEPTHS OF H-"

: "Don't finish that sentence. Let's do this."

Why yes, the Knights of Ebony's Round Table (snrk) are named after four of the seven deadly sins. Wouldn't this have been a better idea for the gym leaders given how there's actually enough of them to fill out the roles (barring the eighth)? Still, it's not like a proper execution of this concept would have saved the game anyway.



Lust has the least offensive sprite out of the Knights. I say this because with a lot of work, she could actually be kind of cute.

Now... I know I haven't talked about movesets for the entire game, but the final fights really goddamn deserve it. You see, things have gotten to the point that just being high-leveled wasn't enough anymore. The game itself had to start cheating. Check this out:

Umbreon - Leftovers Lv98: Ice Beam, Mean Look, Calm Mind, Psychic
Wobbuffet - Leftovers Lv98: Rest, Mirror Coat, Cosmic Power, Counter
Claydol - Leftovers Lv98: Psychic, Ice Beam, Calm Mind, Thunderbolt
Bronzong - Leftovers Lv98: Calm Mind, Earthquake, Psychic, Ice Beam
Cresselia - Leftovers Lv99: Ice Beam, Calm Mind, Psychic, Rest

The ones bolded in red are the real offenders of that particular team. Let's see... aside from Cresselia, there's Cosmic Power Wobbuffet. I think you're the missing the point of Wobbuffet there, seeing as Cosmic Power will reduce the amount of damage that Counter and Mirror Coat do due to being HP based.

Also, why the hell do they all have leftovers and Rest?! This isn't intimidating, it's just annoying.



That said, Sigurd rips through their team like wet tissue paper. You'll be seeing that for the whole chapter, really.



: ("You remind me of someone I know. Too bad you're nowhere near as good as her.")

Hoo boy, here we go.



(+240 BST)

Remember how Kayo said that the Knights have Pokemon that defy regular Pokemon rules? This is what he meant and my god, it is the dumbest thing I have ever seen. I'm legitimately impressed at how bottom of the barrel this is, because the game really wasn't hard enough already.

Cresselia was already bulky - this is completely unnecessary and only makes things take longer. The insulting part is that the enemies get all of these fancy stat boosts and broken legendaries while you, the player, get jack shit.

This was part of the reason why Sigurd was created - to counteract the broken nature of the game's final moments. Even then, I had to debuff the legendaries back to their original stats because it would take more than one Void Bomb to kill this Cresselia if I didn't. Let me put this in perspective:

I am cheating hardcore with a level 100 Sigurd and I am still facing some mild form of resistance. God help the people who played this game with regular Pokemon, whoever you are.



(Shame, Cresselia is way too good of a Pokemon to be used like this)



No, this is exactly how things should be. Sigurd's very existence has changed this game from the bottom up, story and all. Personally, I welcome all of it.





Oh, how unfortunate. Moving on...



Oh no, it's my favorite guy!



There's all of his character summarized into one sentence. Plus his spontaneously Spartan appearance makes me curious - imagine what an actual version of Pokemon Greece would be like. We'd have God of War - Pokemon edition, and that would kick ass.

Anyway, let's go and get this -





SWEET BANANA-EATING JESUS, HIS SPRITE IS HIDEOUS

Like okay, let's ignore that he's blatantly traced over the Linebacker sprite from Generation 5. His anatomy is all sorts of messed up with weird muscles and minimal shading that makes him look more funny than intimidating. His equipment looks like oversized plastic toy versions of what they're supposed to be and I don't even know what is going with his helmet anymore.

Man, that young feel when I thought Snakewood's sprites and Elite Four were the worst things ever. Wait, it gets better! Here's his set-up:

Conkeldurr - Leftovers Lv98: Drain Punch, Earthquake, Stone Edge, Swords Dance
Scrafty - Leftovers Lv98: Drain Punch, Earthquake, Cosmic Power, Recover
Tyranitar - Leftovers Lv98: Rock Wrecker, Earthquake, Recover, Cosmic Power
Ferrothorn - Leftovers Lv98: Recover, Leech Seed, Earthquake, Cosmic Power
Regigigas - Focus Band Lv99: Hyper Beam, Bulk Up, Earthquake, Stone Edge

I... what the hell is going on here?! What is this septic tank of a team?!

* Conkeldurr is already super strong to begin with - giving it Swords Dance is not only a dick move, but it's also illegal because it can't learn that.
* Scrafty can't learn Recover or Cosmic Power.
* Tyranitar is a horrible choice for Cosmic Power. Their typing makes them vulnerable to a lot of things, so it becomes moot. I can at least understand why Scrafty gets the defense buffing move - it's because they're built for it.
* We'll get to Regigigas in a bit.

Like fuck man, this is testing my (apparently limitless) patience. I am not making any of this up and I apologize for asking this question several times in one playthrough, but how did this win an award for gameplay again?



Prime example of how this could have gone horribly - Sigurd nearly got killed by the Conkeldurr alone, and this was with a Burn on them. Guts or not, that's terrifying.



It took both Arthur and Sigurd to get rid of the Scrafty due to their nasty set-up. The AI has a tendency to use Full Restores and remove all of my hard work, but that's still not a problem.

[Sigurd and Arthur attack from both sides!]





Badass.



... Uh. Regigigas is invisible. I know why this is, too - the sprite's Y coordinates are set to 127, which means they're waaaaaay up in the sky when they shouldn't be. Sadly, out of every problem that this monster has, this is the least glaring.



(+190 BST)

Plus... wait. No. You can't be serious.



WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION

Not only is Regigigas boosted to be as strong as Deoxys-Attack, they have Huge Power to replace Slow Start which instantly gives them 360 base attack! Not even the final boss is that damn strong!

To top it off, this version has 150 on both defenses and 160 base HP. If I didn't debuff Regigigas, it would be the only thing in the game to survive more than one Aura Saber. Now that, my friends, is absolute bullshit. (It doesn't help that he has a Focus Band to survive 10% of the time)



But we're playing by my rules (and by extension the real game rules, seeing as I debuffed them back to normal)

The fun thing is that I didn't remove Huge Power because I felt like showing off.



There goes the rest of the garbage.



I find it hilarious that he's the most graceful out of everyone we've fought.



Gluttony claims to be the most strategic of the Knights and says that he consumes power. This would be cool if any of this was executed well.



Hi, Clay. Like no seriously, it's Clay from Gen 5 in some really weird black and green uniform. After Wrath, anything is better. His team consists of:

Zen Mode Darmanitan - Leftovers Lv98: Fire Blast, Psychic, Surf, Recover
Snorlax - Leftovers Lv98: Iron Head, Recover, Earthquake, Body Slam
Gengar - Spell Tag Lv98: Shadow Ball, Recover, Ice Beam, Flamethrower
Dusknoir - Leftovers Lv98: Earthquake, Cosmic Power, Stone Edge, Recover
Palkia - Dragon Fang Lv99: Dragon Pulse, Hydro Pump, Thunderbolt, Earthquake

How the hell does a Fire type learn Surf? That doesn't even make sense from a cheating standpoint. Oh, and would you look at that? Palkia, the master of space, is reduced to a slot on some Original the Character team.



Ha, he has Snorlax because he's trying to be Gluttony. It's clever r--





Speaking of Palkia -



(+210 BST!)

This is getting out of hand. See, I'm a firm believer of the fact you can make any story tense without having to resort to power levels as ridiculous as this. Everything should stay consistent to the flow of difficulty you start out with and work on from there. Like okay, the numbers can get high, but they don't necessarily need to get like this.

Is it really necessary when you can achieve the same effect with less? Hell, even for a postgame challenge, this would still be pretty bullshit to do because it's just too much for a regular player to handle. Either give equally strong mons (like Sigurd, for example) or make everything balanced.



That said, Palkia falls and we move on.



... Hello, Noah. He's just lying on the ground and we use his face as a mat.

Believe it or not, this isn't a sprite glitch - this is actually plot relevant.



Envy here is the person who beat up Noah and tells Monica to get over her "savior of the world" business even though canonically she didn't want it to be like that to begin with.



Oh, and he's a blonde not-Cheren. His team is also what you'd expect:

Hydreigon - Dragon Fang Lv98: Hydro Pump, Fire Blast, Dark Pulse, Dragon Pulse
Haxorus - Choice Band Lv98: Stone Edge, Earthquake, Brick Break, Iron Head
Eelektross - Magnet Lv98: Flamethrower, Thunderbolt, Ice Beam, Surf
Aerodactyl - Hard Stone Lv98: Rock Wrecker, Earthquake, Brave Bird, Iron Head
Dialga - Dragon Fang Lv99: Dragon Pulse, Flash Cannon, Earthquake, Flamethrower

Barring the obligatory super-uber, Envy's team is surprisingly tame. I guess he's called Envy because he's jealous of everyone else. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯



I find it strange that he has a primarily Dragon-focused team... along with an electric eel. I dunno.



Dialga is about to have the worst time in their life and there's no Time Stops strong enough to help them. But first, let's see those stats!



(+210 BST)

Yep, just as I figured. I mean, really - what is going on here? How does Darugis power them up to this extent, to the point where they all have stat totals higher than Arceus? Canonically speaking in the real series, Mega Mewtwo X and Y are the only ones that have a greater BST than Arceus and that's because of Mega Evolution.



I feel bad for the legendaries under the Knights' control - they get stolen from their rightful areas and have to face an inevitable beatdown from a red Lucario with a laser sword.



Envy explains that the Knights were brought back to life by Darugis for the sake of power... which sort of puts a new spin on the LP backstory reveal last chapter. Still, the Knights are a novel concept that was ruined by entire game that surrounds them. (That, and they make no sense)



It's time to face off against the big man himself.



In-Game Monica tells Darugis to stop possessing Adrian, but he says that he joined of his own free will and they fight. That's it. That's the final confrontation dialogue.

I wish I were kidding.



NOAH?! ADRIAN WAS NOAH ALL ALONG?!

... Actually, no. See, Noah is your rival and the champion takes their name because they were your rival in the original Firered. They didn't change that, so this happened. To be fair, I thought Noah was going to turn evil this entire game and that this would have been an excellent way to finish them off. But nope.

Still, if this is going to be the final battle... We should kick it off in style.

[Final battle theme: Battle Against Magus]

Here's his team:

Mewtwo - TwistedSpoon Lv99: Psychic, Aura Sphere, Calm Mind, Recover
Cresselia - Leftovers Lv99: Psychic, Ice Beam, Calm Mind, Recover
Regigigas - Focus Band Lv99: Hyper Beam, Earthquake, Bulk Up, Stone Edge
Dialga - Dragon Fang Lv99: Dragon Pulse, Flash Cannon, Earthquake, Flamethrower
Palkia - Dragon Fang Lv99: Dragon Pulse, Thunderbolt, Earthquake, Hydro Pump
Lugia - Focus Band Lv100: Dark Chaos(!!), Aeroblast, Flamethrower, Recover

It's essentially an amalgamation of all the super-ubers we've already seen along with two brand new ones - Mewtwo and a Lugia who is supposed to be Darugis himself. This would be really cool if they weren't all ridiculously overpowered and had more (well-executed) context for them being here aside from "oh here's a bullshit challenge, good luck".

Darugis is the king of ubers and not in a good way, so we'll talk about him last. For now, have Mewtwo's stats:



(+230 BST!)

That's even more than the actual Mega Evolution! Did Mewtwo, the literal strongest Pokemon in the game behind Mega Rayquaza, really need to be boosted like this? I've heard someone liken Mega Mewtwo X and Y as replacing Arceus as Pokemon Jesus and God due to how powerful they were.

If so, then this version must be Super-Jesus.





Except not, because Sigurd obliterated him with one Void Bomb.



These losers get destroyed because we've all seen them already. It's time for the showstopper, the man himself...



Lugia Darugis.

The sprite looks like XD001 from the XD/Colosseum series, but still. It's not that bad for a color swap and good god, they are one of the strongest opponents I've ever seen. Feast your eyes on its stats:



(+330 BST!!)

Yes. What you are seeing is real.

1010 Base Stat Total. This was the real reason Sigurd was created, and by extension, the reason I even checked out the game to begin with.

You see, I don't remember when this information was given to me... but I had heard of a game that was even harder than Snakewood and I was like "oh lord, what is it".

Then I read the Tvtropes page for Dark Rising and I remember being like "There's no way I'm doing this - I'm gonna get murdered". Well, we all know where that went. Still, I can't believe the final boss really has over one thousand total stats.

It gets better, too - not only is Darugis /, they have a very peculiar move called Dark Chaos. It is a 200 base power move with a 100% chance to poison each time it hits. It is so inhumanly overpowered that just being hit by it for neutral damage is a guaranteed one-hit kill.

I'd also like to imagine this is what it looks like:

[Darugis used Dark Chaos!]



But Sigurd, thanks to his double resistance, shakes it off with no trouble.



Fuck yeah.

Aura Saber was planned as the "heroic" counterpart to Dark Chaos, even way back before Sigurd evolved into a Lucario. Similar power (150 vs 200), opposite typing and supplies a debuff on the opponent (70% chance to burn vs 100% change to poison).

It would have been really badass if that's actually how it was planned out in the game proper. Oh, and to top it off? I removed the ghost typing that protects Darugis from Aura Saber.

In terms of actual canon, let's say Aura Saber has built-in Scrappy.



: ("What the?! How did you...?!")

: ("I've finally gotten the ability to break through your defenses thanks to the Jewel of Life and Monica's influence.")

: ("... Hahahahahaha! Impressive! Very impressive! You never cease to amaze me, Sigurd!")



: ("This is where it all ends.")

[Sigurd used Aura Saber!]





: ("It's finally over...")

: "I can't believe it..."



[Darugis's shadow slides out of Adrian's body]

: ("Such incredible power... You really have done well, but... I'm afraid this was only the beginning. You may have defeated me now, but I'll return stronger and more formidable than ever. What a shame, too - I was considering laying down and dying out of respect, but that would have ended the fun too quickly.")

: ("You bastard!")

: "Oh lord, no."



: ("Hah. I welcome both you and Noah to challenge me in the Omni Region. It'll take some time to regain my strength with all of the negative energy over there, but I'm content with waiting. With that, I'll make my leave. Monica, Sigurd... stay healthy until our next meeting.")

[Darugis lets out a low, echoing chuckle before vanishing into thin air]

You see, there's a world of difference between the original text and the let's play text here - in the original, Darugis boasts how this isn't even half of his power and that we puny humans can't hope to stop him as he drains more negative energy from the Omni Region.

Let's Play!Darugis is still going "yeah I'm going to the Omni Region", but he acknowledges that he got his shit kicked in. There's a much greater sense of accomplishment knowing that we actually wounded him as opposed to him being like "yeah lol whatever didn't count". He even congratulates Sigurd for doing so!

Also, this game was built from the ground up to lead into Dark Rising 2 - the yellow Falkner guy from earlier was the biggest indication of this and man is it stupid. I applaud wanting to continue your work, but when your first game (a game that, by its very design, encourages people to check out the second) is so buggy, horribly difficult and done with as much compassion as a stale piece of bread... Yeah, I'm not looking forward to it.

: ("... We'll stop you no matter what.")

: ("Sigurd, you tried your best. At least he's gone... for now.")

: "Yeah, what your sister said."



The guys tell us that the castle is collapsing (what, is this ripping off Castlevania now?) and that we should get moving.



Noah reassures Monica that the guys have plans to make it to the Omni Region and says one final "let's do this".

[Slow fade to black]



: [Deep in thought]

: ("We did it! We're one step closer to being real heroes!")

: ("I knew we could do it! Hurray to Monica!")

: ("It's been a pleasure working with you lot!")

: ("... We were pretty cool, huh?")

: ("Of course, Gale! Y'all were pretty kick-ass!")



: "We drove him back, guys. Let's go home and relax for now."

[Roundabout - by Yes]

Yeah, baby.



The ending is bugged, as I'd expect.



Hoooh man, was this an adventure.



(By the way, all of the Pokemon sprites are really messed up in the credits - this one in particular is because of Fafnir, but Blastoise and Charizard... aren't much better.)

You know, when I first started... I legitimately didn't know what I was getting myself into aside from the final boss being... well, that.



The game started off alright at first and I was "meh" at whatever this game was going to throw at me. But... man. While Snakewood was a bad game, it was at least miles better than whatever this was. I could describe this as a bad fanfiction made into a video game, but even that wouldn't really be doing it justice.

Dark Rising is legendary in how mediocre it is, and it was really hard to come up with entertaining commentary thanks to how almost nothing really interesting happened for a good chunk of the game. It was a pretty banal experience.



(Also, Satan Pikachu.)



I would cut it off here... but there's at least one more thing.

: ("... Monica. Can we have a talk outside? It's important.")

: "Of course. You seemed bothered by something ever since we defeated Darugis."



[The Story is Happy End?]

: ("Monica... I'm leaving. Signe is coming too.")

: "What?! Why?!"

: ("I... want to become stronger to stop that man. We figured that some time away training would help us improve.")

: "But does that really involve leaving us and the team behind? Come on, Sigurd."

: ("Listen. Darugis will be more powerful than ever when we meet him again. If what just happened is of any indication, then that means we still have a ways to go. This isn't a permanent goodbye - I could never leave you behind.")

: "... Okay. If that's the case, then go. I'll take care of Siegfried and the others when you get back."

: ("Thank you. I'll miss you, Monica... and Corin, and Wave, Gale, Arthur... and all the others. You've become the only real family I've had in a long time...")

[Sigurd gives Monica a hug and vanishes]



[Stifling through her tears]: "I'll miss you too, big guy..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Final(?) team setup:

(Corin, level 97, has Dragon Fang, , /) - "... There, Monica. They'll be back."

(Siegfried, level 96, , /) - "I just hope they'll be fine. I'll miss you guys!"

(Gale, level 93, , /) - "I'll never forget him."

(Arthur, level 91, , /) - "So they just leave, huh? Right in the middle of our big party and everything... Feh! They could have at least waited a bit."

(Wave, level 94, , ) - "Monica looks heartbroken..."

(Bellamine, level 83, has Sand Cloak, , ) - "I'll miss him for sure. I just hope he and his sister bode well on whatever journey they embark on."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back up team:

(Candelabra, level 90, , /) - "Sigurd left? Aw man, that's not cool!"

(Hel, level 76, , /) - "... Hah. They'll come back stronger than ever - I guarantee!"

(Lumis, level 72, , ) - "They're willing to push themselves even further despite what they've gone through... They're so admirable."

(Ignell, level 80, , /) - "Heroes if I've ever seen them! Wahahaha!"

(Sathala, level 73, , ) - [Hugs Siegfried]

(Vera, level 76, , ) - "It's so emotional around here..."

(Chloris, level 70, , /) - "I hope they make it back alright. I really liked them."

(Ace, level 65, , /) - "Aw man, he just left? Now I can't even apologize to him about the 'white-haired punk' thing..."

(Beatrice, level 75, , /) - "Oh, don't worry about that, Ace. It's not goodbye... it's a 'see you again' kind of thing."

(Cinder, level 40, , ) - "It sure was a crazy journey you guys had."

(Amaterasu, level 95, , /) - "It's only the start of something much greater. Personally, I look forward to the time when they both return... perhaps they might just run into Mani again."

(Sheol, level 98, , /) -"... Heh. I hope you lot are prepared, because it'll only get worse from here."