Conversation Between Roni and ZeoStar
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  1. ZeoStar
    2 Weeks Ago 6:56 AM
    Okay last message (or update i'll send on this) but i'm pretty heart broken. Was reaching 900 in chess, fell nearly 100 points. I'm down to 780.

    I don't know what happened. I just can't read the board, yet it's hard to step away. Every couple hours I return and think "Okay nows the time I recover my points" then I just dig myself into a larger hole. Was a fun hobby, now left me legit feeling sad and upset. It's been like this for days, it's like I lost the ability to play. Yet I do perfectly fine with puzzles.
  2. ZeoStar
    4 Weeks Ago 11:23 AM
    Wow your right about the 800-900s being rougher.

    My games are getting longer and I feel like I can't win by just stalling for blunders now.
  3. ZeoStar
    March 25th, 2021 5:07 AM
    The Cyndaquil is probably staying for a while. I had an avatar identity crisis where I wasn't happy with anything, but this is fine. How did you come up with the cartoon person in your picture? (I know that's not what it's called, but I can't remember). I think it's a bit tedious I must upload to my album before posting a picture to my background. Like, for everything else I can just paste a URL. I guess there's a reason.

    Yeah your light years ahead of me in all ways of VPP. I'm like...a level 2 and your a level 82. I could use the scrap box to come up with a CSS for myself, but I'll do that when I'm motivated. Oh yeah I heard...(saw? I can't actually hear you) you mentioning burn out. Is it related to the mod position, or did you just post so much in the past few months it's worn you out? Could also be life related, I imagine stuff might be picking up for you off the internet. When I was trying to pass college math, I never had time to post. I would probably make 1 post every few days.

    Oh no I didn't clear this up. My siblings aren't here. All are much older than me and moved out a while ago. (To different parts of the United States). My sister is the only one who remains close by. I wouldn't say I've felt like we have a big family. My dad is gone, so it was just me and 3 other siblings + my mother. There are families with 7 or 8 kids and both parents. I imagine that as big. My eldest brother is the same age as @squirtlenator, being 37 years old. So yeah there's a crazy age gap between me and my oldest brother. I'm only 20. I agree with you telling her to password protect it. (Although they might start to bug her for the password)? Random game downloads are a quick way to pick up malware.

    I'm currently rated 774. You asked if I was good at end games...answer is yes. It seems to be my strongest point. I just don't find calculating moves in the end game to very difficult. Oh don't worry about me coming at you with theory. I'm a world away from learning that. We should have our match when I hit 1,000. I can come at you with what I learned on this chess...journey? And you can have the pleasure of kicking me back down in the 900's. Although I feel an obstacle coming with the 800's and 900's.

    It's alright. Yeah I had no intention at holding a real conversation, when I see the chance to banter I usually take it. I was the same way in 11-12th grade. I couldn't take anything seriously. For a presentation about drugs in our health class, I drew a picture of mickey mouse as a stoner.
  4. Roni
    March 17th, 2021 8:28 PM
    your profile looks so much better now! thanks for making the colors easier on the eyes, and i love the Cyndaquil! i only have an approximate knowledge of color theory myself, so with regards to choosing colors for my profile (back when i was doing it myself lol), i just chose different shades of the same color to play it super safe. i'd sometimes throw in a complementary color even to spice things up, but that was rare. this might be weird to hear coming from a graphic designer, but hey i never had proper training on this stuff and mostly just steal design ideas, including colors, from other people lol. no one's noticed nor cared so far...

    i'm way ahead of you on the VPP text pad. i actually have an excel sheet on my computer for my stats to ensure that my VPP points stay accurate. gotta check with that every month or so to make sure there aren't any mistakes. someone like you probably won't need it yet though since you have very few stats to monitor still. my way of completing VPP is just to complete all Gold Medals for all types. being the first to achieve that would be a treat~ trying to collect every single Pokemon ever is a heck more of a chore than anything, so i'm passing on that.

    being well-off enough to not have to rely on anyone other than your parents to take care of y'all is quite the life. big families like yours, if living here in the Philippines, would always have at least 1 or 2 of the eldest siblings set aside part of their salaries to help out with the whole family. and you guys should feel super fortunate that y'all have your own devices and don't need to share stuff that much. my gf constantly complains that her siblings use her computer without asking and download games she never agreed to. i've been telling her to password protect it, i wonder how it's going now...

    for 300 elo chess players, you gotta hope to the heavens that it isn't a GM with a new account speedrunning the system lol. i personally went back to playing a bit and have won 2 games already. coming back right now to around 933 elo or so. might even play again after this to get my fill for the day, who knows? i've been looking at gambit openings recently, along with binging agadmator and Paul Morphy games. i wanna see where that takes me.

    i don't know, even if i'm alone on my computer, i can find an infinite amount of stuff to do online, to the point that i tend to get overstimulated even lol. it's hard for me to fall into a rut when there's about a dozen things on my to-do list right now that i've yet to get started on or finish. different stroke for different folks. i agree wholeheartedly with your point on finding new hobbies. i never would've been a PC mod had this pandemic never happened, and tbh my career wouldn't be headed where it is now if i'd stuck to just settling for my corporate job.

    i saw that convo between you and Dakota. top tier stuff, got me laughing haha. i don't mean this as an insult or anything, but it genuinely reminds me of how i talked to literally everyone in high school. it was hard to keep up conversations when i was focusing on constantly trying to be witty instead of actually adding something meaningful. and i had the gall to wonder why i had very few friends lol.
  5. ZeoStar
    March 16th, 2021 5:18 AM
    I changed the profile so it's okay. Honestly I didn't like it either. I just don't actually have much design skill so I just pick a color and paste the code all over the place. I could set a background from an album, but I don't feel like going through the effort of putting a picture in my album just for that. Maybe at some point this week I'll give it a try. I need to make a text pad or something for VPP. I realized quickly this is going to turn into an unorganized mess. Are you planning to be the first person to 100% complete VPP?

    I've never used deviantart, but I've joked about going on and writing something really cringeworthy for laughs. Even as the youngest, there wasn't much 'taking care of' that existed in our family. My family sort of runs on being solitary and independent. We just kind of did our own things and really didn't discuss much. Most of the time if my mother worked a long shift she would just leave money and tell one of us to order a pizza. We were at-least well off enough that we didn't have to share everything. (We each had our own computers, game systems, etc).

    I mean it is a 300 player. You could blunder your queen and probably still be okay because they'll blunder it too. That doesn't mean you should go in being careless, but I do think you should be confident. Also most likely they look at your 800-900 rating and find it at-least a bit intimidating. Because I've been in the 300's, and that rating felt like a world away. So right now I've gotten past the 600's. I'm currently rated 708 ELO. So yeah my progress is still going. It just started skyrocketing really quickly again in the last few days. I only know two openings. (King's Indian/Reti, and Accelerated London System). I'm more comfortable with Reti, but I feel like the London System gets me into a better position.

    Yep that was for Halloween. I have no idea why I thought "This is the picture I want to share with all the staff". But uh yeah, nice to know the picture is still there. I wouldn't say being alone makes me depressed, but I do think it's easy to fall into a 'rut' when there isn't much activity going on. I have no motivation for online zoom classes. I find it awkward and hard to concentrate. At least it's a nice time to find new hobbies if your looking for positives. I might have never gotten back into chess if it weren't for this whole thing.

    Was it really only last December? Feels like much longer. And honestly yeah I would say I'm pretty shy even if I don't come off that way. Sometimes I'm bored and want to talk to someone, but it ends up in exchanges like this:
  6. Roni
    March 12th, 2021 7:11 AM
    i honestly wasn't expecting you to change from Spinda so quickly lol. your new profile background color's pretty burning to my eyes though, with the hot pink, so i'm having trouble right now keeping this tab open. i might as well just copy your reply into a text pad and reply from there lol. can't wait to have you join the VPP fun again! my goals are so far out but they're close to being realized huehue. i can't remember if i already told you them or not.

    i had the same concern with people coming at me telling me that i'm using something they made when i was randomly pulling gifs from deviantart to use for my flair background lol. thankfully nothing really happened. being an only child really hindered my willingness to share anything. i'm more comfortable if you and i each have our own thing instead of just having one and having to share. i've never wanted siblings because the thought of being an older brother taking care of someone disgusts me lol. my gf has 2 younger siblings to look after (she's the eldest) so she has to budget for them as well on top of her own expenses. would be a nightmare for someone like me to have to deal with. how's it been being the youngest of 4? i never would've imagined your family being that huge. how many of them are off working now? and lmao i might just write an episode where they go camping in a haunted wooded area. thanks for the idea!

    oh shoot i completely forgot about that mechanic. glad i did though because i probably would've panicked and blundered against that 300 guy or smth lol. i personally can't handle thrill that well is all. i cannot function well if i lose my queen while my opponent still has theirs. i just lose all my confidence and then the mental blocks and loss of focus come in. sounds like a real Ben Finegold move to do tbh, i believe it lol.

    the reason i remembered your picture so well was because of the plastic bag lmao. halloween costume right? awesome that you still remember that too considering that was 2 years ago. LMAO on that troll dude tho. that's such a creepy guy thing to do; hitting on women in a Pokemon forum. i... just don't know what to say to that.

    i used to think i was an ambivert. i mean i probably am tbh, but i'm reaaally leaning in towards introvert if ever. i tire out a lot earlier if i'm out with friends or socializing with folks versus just being completely by myself. it's why this pandemic barely affected me compared to a lot of my friends who've probably developed depression from being alone for extended periods of time. i was molded by this lifetime, so being mandated to stay home was and still is no problem at all to me. it also helps that i don't fancy travelling too much either lol.

    and speaking of you being shy around new people, you didn't seem that at all when you first VM'd me last December. you messaged me right as i added you as a friend right? and i see that that was also around the time someone VM'd me something derogatory too (where they got banned before i even saw it lol). sorta glad that happened because it slowly snowballed into us being PC penpals~
  7. ZeoStar
    March 11th, 2021 11:09 AM
    I guess there isn't really much that decides my avatars. A little bit of it is my current mood (like i just changed it to a lazy skitty), most of it is just whatever I find nice to look at. I couldn't find any pictures of lanturn I wanted to use. I wouldn't say VPP is boring, but I have a tendency to start things and not stick with them. I'll go back to VPP though.

    It's ironic you mentioned that considering my first instinct with this avatar was to pull it from pintrest. Now I'm waiting for that random message where someone is like "Hey your using an avatar i drew". What was it like as an only child, and outside of your cousins did you still desire siblings? I'm the youngest in my family (1 older sister, 2 older brothers). So...that's something notable. I have a tablet but I pretty much gave to my mother, honestly I didn't use it. She likes to play old NES games on an emulator. Well if your working on college kids and hijnks you could always throw Jason Vorhees into the story (kidding kidding, I was probably playing that game too much).

    It actually terrifies me to run into much lower rated players, because did you notice that point drop if you lose? In a way it also makes it more thrilling, more on the line for you, and they have nothing but to gain. Oh for sure, fundamentals before theory. That's what I always hear. I'm iffy on queen resignations. You can always hope the person blunders, but it also makes you think "Am I wasting time by continuing"? I'm pretty sure Ben wasn't joking until someone informed him, but to save the embarrassment he probably played it off like it was a joke the entire time. He is a chess player, he probably calculates this stuff.

    Thanks, I do appreciate the compliment. I wouldn't say dashing, considering in one of those photos I had a plastic bag on my head. I wouldn't know how to describe myself...i'm just me I guess. I mean it was blatant because he was doing it to other people too. I always notice this sort of behavior. I also found it super amusing how he was leaving messages to every girl he could find, like pokecommunity was some sort of S-tier dating site.

    Hm, I wouldn't describe myself as extroverted. I'm in a weird position where I love talking (online and offline), but I usually don't feel like making the effort to do stuff. Ambivert might be fitting. I don't really have a preference for social activity or being alone. I am pretty shy around new people though.
  8. Roni
    March 11th, 2021 8:42 AM
    nice! i remember your signature and seeing that familiar faces like Crobat, Spinda, and Lanturn are some of your faves of all time (lack of Whimsicott tho). are you planning to give them each spotlights eventually when making flair and profile designs? i remember your Lanturn, but i didn't even notice you had something else raised lol. VPP gets boring for you in the long run i suppose?

    i love how your first instinct was to create an avatar instead of just pull from a website somewhere, that's actually really cool. i can't remember what my first ever avatar was on this site, but it was probably awful lol. i don't have any siblings actually. i grew up an only child, but had 3 cousins that i treated like my sisters since they lived so close by to us and we interacted regularly. on top of that i have my biological father's other fam (loong story here) that i keep in regular contact with. that's what i mean by extended family. i've been trying to get back into writing songs again like i've mentioned, and when i eventually get a drawing tablet, i might even want to revive my old comics series and create fresh new plots for them. i have this story brewing about college kids who form a band and get into some hijinks along the way. loosely inspired by the manga Beck that i binged for a bit a few years ago.

    in the realm of chess, i randomly got queued with a 300 rated player a few days ago (meaning the settings i set up must be working correctly), and as expected, they blundered their queen within 12 moves and resigned right then and there lmao. i'm not familiar with fundamentals yet, i just clear out as much of my back rank pieces til my king can castle :p oh my Ben Finegold really doesn't like to sugarcoat anything regarding his opinions huh? and is he actually saying QVC non-jokingly? like he really thinks that's the name?

    speaking of staff forums, someone revived the selfie thread there and i saw your pics amongst the crowds heh. you're a dashing fellow i might say. anyway yeah it's probably the exact same since you left so you most prolly didn't miss much. staffers are way more active on Discord anyway. glad to hear that troll was banned. it'd be infuriating to have to deal with them on the regular. if i were here at a younger age and someone tried that on me i'd most def blow my top eventually and leave, which means they'd win. glad i returned here at a more stable point in my life.

    i'll put your John Wolfe recommendations on my to-watch list for the future! thanks!

    man handling that many conversations just takes its toll on me after a while. i truly applaud those who can manage this on the regular. is that what being extroverted feels like to an extent?
  9. ZeoStar
    March 10th, 2021 7:48 AM
    Thanks! I simply grew a bit tired of the Whismicott picture, however if I find one I like better then I might someday go back. Spinda is one of my favorite Pokemon ever, actually above Whismicott. aw how nice! So flattering. I...already forgot about VPP. I think I have something at level 100 that I didn't hatch.

    I drew 2 Crobat, I think the plan was to use them as my avatar picture. Fun fact: When I joined in 2017 my initial avatars were all crobats. Then I realized...why would I ever draw a crobat when I can just pull a picture from google. Oh no I'm not into poetry either, but I have a sibling who is quite a poet. Do you have any siblings? I think you mentioned something about an extended family. Though I'm not entirely sure what it means. You mentioned it pulled you out of the writing rut, so is there anything your currently writing at the moment? (uh aside from this visitor message reply).

    892 still isn't bad. I've climbed up to 670, so if I keep it up I'll be in the 700's soon. But the 600's are a roller coaster. Sometimes I find a person who blunders a queen in the first 10 turns, and someone who seems to have the fundamentals down and does a coordinated assault on my pieces. Even as a lower ranked player, I would advise not to go too far into theory. It seems the general agreement is that fundamentals can carry you up to 1,800. (although learning a bit of opening theory wouldn't hurt). If you think it'll improve your rating then who am I to say no. But yeah John Bartholomew is a YouTuber with a gift for teaching. Ohhh Ben Finegold. (to sort some confusion when he says QVC he means XQC). But here he is summed up in a few minutes.

    I do miss the staff forums. It was so interesting to see what was going on behind the scenes. But I wouldn't reprise my role just to see the staff forums. Because at the same time I just enjoy being here super casually. Yeah there was one person here a couple years ago who would follow me into threads trying to bait me into arguments...but I was just thinking "dude could you be more blatant about it". I never gave him much of a response, and he was eventually banned anyways.

    If you ever want to see something else funny from John, I would suggest his "Jeff the Killer series" or "Granny". Both are poorly made mobile games, and his reactions are great. Especially his reactions to getting spammed with ads. I mostly just watch him play indie horror games, stuff that can be completed in an hour and I would never want to purchase.

    It is cool to see, but don't stress yourself over it. I'm in the process of replying to people as I like trying to do it all at once. I have one private message to reply to, a couple quotes i want to respond to, i responded to a VM right before this. If asiaka/setsuna replies, those usually take about 30 minutes so I just make sure I can concentrate first. And there's still some messages on social media i need to get to.
  10. Roni
    March 8th, 2021 10:22 PM
    heya Zeo i'm loving the new profile and flair designs! it'll take a while for me to stop viewing you as a Whimsicott, but i can see you as a Spinda as well hehe. speaking of, Ash and I are actually Tag Teaming a Whimsicott atm and i've decided to name it after you :p

    anyway, i did peruse your drawings album at some point. you drew a crobat yes? that makes you cool in my book~ about writing, i initially took up mass communication in college because i believed writing to be easy for me a few years ago. turns out, it's only easy if i'm conversing with someone about things i'm passionate about. i'm not that good with poetry, or making articles, or talking about something that i'm not remotely into. i've tried my hand at writing songs, since i'm into music, but lyrics are my weakest link. i compose entire songs in my head and not have any topic for them because i usually can never find the words. i've tried out that "write 100 songs a day" challenge last year where you literally just write about anything for a day, no matter how bad or mundane it may be, and it did sort of pull me out of a writing rut for a bit, but i fell back in when i couldn't be consistent about it and got bored. 'tis the pain of being me. sorry i wrote so much about this, it just came to me and i felt like i should put it out there lol.

    i'm exactly same right now with chess. i refuse to play anything lesser than 20 mins per clock since it takes me so long to look for lines and do calculations. i played a bit the last couple days while i was offline here and got a measly 3-5 win loss record along with one draw. i am now down to 892 and feel like i should really start brushing up on openings and theory if i wanna make any sort of progression heh. i just don't want to be sucked into it like i do with every passing hobby and be completely addicted to it for some point. i just want to be a casually decent player you know? not sure if that's the right mindset to have, but whatever. i haven't actually watched any actual guides from gothamchess, mostly just his collabs with Hikaru on commentating matches or those weird chess variations for content. i will start looking into that other teacher you recommended some time ago. John Bartholomew was it? and yes, Ben Finegold, oh dear. he's one heck of a character as well. one of those GMs who speedrun to 3000 elo or something and destroying scrubs constantly. i have yet to hear his takes on anything, as i've mostly just seen his playing highlights and nothing else.

    trolls seem to be much more quickly banned or infracted these days by the staff. making PC a safe environment for the large majority is one of our top priorities and i really like that. anyway when i was a bored teenager i would go to reddit on my alt accounts (almost always with lewd names) and try to see just how many downvotes i could amass from wrong takes. nothing political ofc, just some random stuff with the niches i was into lol.

    goodness yeah i legitimately thought that Michael Scott sound clip was edited in by John's editor or something lmao. when i realized it was in the game itself i found it even more hilarious. the game devs HAD to have known people would know where that came from. it HAD to have been done on purpose to troll. there's just no other explanation. that scene's just too iconic to be forgotten. i will say that yes i like his attitude. no needless screaming and being afraid. i feel like if i did watch horror videos, i'd go to his ones for the sake of feeling safe heh.

    also wowee i did not expect that i would've been able to type out a reply that long today. feelin' pretty proud of myself! definitely won't be able to keep this up regularly tho, but it's cool to see!
  11. ZeoStar
    March 7th, 2021 3:02 PM
    I think I left the drawings up on my profile. I had a different computer and just scribbled random pokemon and animals sometimes. They aren't that great either. Aside from drawing, how do you feel about writing?

    No way could I ever do bullet chess. I play all my games rapid 30 minutes, anything less is unimaginable. When I get a bit more comfortable with the fundamentals maybe I'll start playing 20. My progress has slowed to a crawl right now. Only rated 639, although I beat a 741 rated player last night. I tried watching gotham chess and it really messed me up. That stuff is not beginner friendly. Even on his beginner videos he skips right over fundamentals and delves straight into opening theory. Maybe I just watched the wrong videos or something. By the way what do you think of ben finegold? He has some...amusing opinions.

    Yeah probably not, although I was still pretty friendly in my messages. I didn't dislike anybody personally. It was more of just me being a bored teenager and seeing how many people would respond. (sometimes up to 9 pages). There have been a couple trolls who have come and gone on pokecommunity, but they usually don't last long. I'm really quick to spot it.

    That part with the office sound clip made me laugh so hard, and John shouting "No way, this is a joke, it has to be a joke". But yeah his attitude makes things way easier for those who are scared by these things, as evidenced by the comments people leave on his videos.
  12. Roni
    March 3rd, 2021 9:36 PM
    thank you! doing all that legit gave me the itch to draw again. thank you to Kitty for the thread~

    i can definitely relate to the part with being confused as to which piece is best to attack. it's why i can't play blitz or bullet games because thinking about something like that eats up so much of my time. anyway it's you and me with the "when will i hit 1000" question lol. just seems like you're making far better progress than i am. rooting for you still!

    oof, i believe we wouldn't have been friends at all then if we had met at that time lol. i couldn't handle trolls and online arguments bcs i hurt real easily (i still do to a degree, tis why i like this place bcs it seems devoid of that nowadays). i'm glad you matured, you're really great to talk to.

    just watched that John Wolfe video you linked to. lol i wish i had his level of bravery or lack of care thereof towards those kinds of games. at least the first game in that video was really more a slasher game than a horror one, i wouldn't be able to watch the rest of it for sure lol.
  13. ZeoStar
    March 3rd, 2021 2:36 PM
    Wait I didn't catch that it said "bad" drawings. I take that back, not sorry. But I digress. I loved your drawing and thought it was really good and replicated my avatar well.

    I'm stagnating in the 600's. On good days it feels like I'm progressing through it, but I have days where I just can't win. I keep getting stuck in the mid-game. I can develop seamlessly with a nice looking formation, but then I just get completely stuck. Like..."which piece am I supposed to attack"? Especially if the person is also defending everything well. Also people love the wayward queen opening. I see it so much. But I'm not sure when I'll hit 1,000. Especially because I finally feel like I'm hitting my first obstacle of the 600's.

    Oh it's okay, none of us were perfect. If it makes you feel better, I was probably worse at 15. Not angst, but just an absolute troll. Like...I would just make really absurd statements about stuff I didn't know about, then try to argue over it. Except I also lacked any sort of filter. If I were on pokecommunity I would have been banned in 5 minutes. But we all grow up. My personality mellowed out to an extreme. I remember when her messaged me, the "teenage" part of me wanted to argue...but I was also maturing quickly by that point, so I just ended up saying sorry.

    John Wolfe is the opposite of most horror channels. He's stone faced (his thumbnails are more of a mockery), never scared, usually makes tons of quips. He doesn't like hiding for long in horror games, and brute forces most of them.

    I would say watch the first game in this video, you'll see exactly what I mean. (it's only a few minutes)
  14. Roni
    March 2nd, 2021 7:53 PM
    wow i didn't even know software that old still existed. you got the spirit of the thread tho! i love the "<--- Crobat" really encapsulates me as a person tbh lmao. i retaliated just now btw!
  15. ZeoStar
    March 2nd, 2021 7:51 PM
    sorry for the bad drawing

    i had to use a 1990's version of microsoft paint because my chromebook doesn't have any modern drawing material. it didn't even have anything to make the lines bigger.