Conversation Between SassySnivy and Caite-chan
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  1. SassySnivy
    December 11th, 2019 4:36 PM
    SassySnivy
    Sorry for not responding sooner! I didn't get online because I was really depressed yesterday.

    Yeah, meds can really mess with you. Especially if you're on so many...which I definitely can see being the case, honestly. And there's not much better than your workplace having your back regarding this stuff. It's a really reassuring feeling. Sadly I can't say that my workplace works the same way, but they're extremely...bureaucratic, I guess you could say? They employ so many people and have so many people in their workforce so they have to be very strict and specific with their rules and regulations. So it's understandable...they can't really judge things on a case by case basis, they seem to have some kind of procedure regarding most situations.

    I completely understand feeling weird about taking off for emotional reasons, despite how major they may actually be. We're socialized and raised to put our mental health second when it comes to the workplace, unfortunately. :\
    I mean, you were acting in her best wishes. It's not as if you knew what was going to happen, I'm sure that caught everyone off-guard. You can't really plan tragedy. Now if she were terminally ill, that would have been one thing...but that doesn't seem to have been the case, honestly. Still, unplanned things like that are some of the hardest to recover from

    Yeah, with that in mind it sounds like death might be a tiny bit less of a taboo for you. :o Which honestly can be good, it can really help to prepare you for things like this. It's really cool that you have that mindset, honestly. I'd like to think I'd feel the same if someone really close to me passed, but seeing how easily I can get triggered by the most ordinary, mundane things...who knows, I suppose.
  2. Caite-chan
    December 9th, 2019 5:56 PM
    Caite-chan
    She was a diabetic and tried to take care of herself with all the meds she was on. I know she was trying to take care of herself but when you're on a muk ton of meds it just seems like a lot. It was and still will be hard but at the same time I feel like it was easier because of the fact that she worked in a funeral home for most of my life. So I went to the funeral home she worked at and it was a lot easier because they knew her and I knew everyone there. Work well worked with me and I think they worked with me more was because they knew who she was because of how much she came in.

    I know holidays are going to be hard and I may still need days off here and there but I don't want to use Mom as an excuse as to why I can't do this and that because I know she would give me hell for it. I also do blame myself because when I told my GM what was going on he told asked me if I wanted that Monday off and I told him no because Mom would give me hell for sitting around doing nothing while waiting for her to do surgery when I could be at work making money. But had I known this was going to happen I would have totally called off work and sat all day in the hospital. I have lost both of my parents on a Monday to heart attacks out of no where. So as of right now I hate Mondays...lol.

    I think because I grew up in the funeral business it's slightly easier for me because I know people are afraid to ask about the deceased person and at least for me I would rather someone ask about my parents in this case Mom then not. Yes I will cry and get emotional but asking about them and talking about them means people have not forgotten about them. And I told people at work to don't be afraid to talk about Mom around me because you might be afraid to upset me. I'm not going to be upset but I'm going to cry at the memories.
  3. SassySnivy
    December 9th, 2019 5:36 PM
    SassySnivy
    Geez. Just. I wouldn't wish that kind of thing on my worst enemies. Just want you to know it takes a really, really strong person to get through something like this as well as you've been seeming to get through it. It's even worse that it sounds like something that might have been able to be avoided, at least if I'm understanding correctly. Knowing me, if I were in that position I'd be blaming myself for a long time. Not saying that's healthy or how you should cope though, of course! Cause it's not true, after all how would you have even known something like this would happen? It's like, the worst version of the butterfly effect. Just saying knowing how I tend to handle things, that would be the direction my mind would go towards at first. Sorry if that came out wrong, definitely didn't intend it how it might have sounded.

    Regardless of the root cause, it sounds like she may have had a lot of health complications to begin with, so I'm sure that made it harder for her body to fight it, perhaps. Still doesn't make going through this ANY easier for you though, not at all. I'm glad you seem to be doing so well, and I'm really happy you've stayed with a community of friends and people that love and care for you in such a trying time. It's really easy to want to withdraw into yourself when dealing with trauma like this and that can be very dangerous, so I'm glad for you in that regard. <3
  4. Caite-chan
    December 9th, 2019 5:26 PM
    Caite-chan
    Thank you very much. :D

    I would say yes and no...I mean I had been sick when me and half of work seem to be getting sick. And I think she got it from me and because we're stubborn and think or it will pass...it didn't and her getting sick turned into pneumonia and it got worse. She was on oxygen when she got out of the hospital the first time and was on it for about 2 weeks and then went back for her check-up and the doctor put her right back in the hospital for double pneumonia and her ankles were really swollen. My Uncle picked me up from work on his way down and we visited her and she seemed really good and I gave her a foot rub and her ankles looked really good. She was going to have surgery that Monday to fix her heart and replaced one of her stents. She told me to go to work and I did and I tried calling her during my lunch thinking she had her surgery and was recovering so I texted her saying I tried to call and I'll try calling her when I got home. Well about 2 hours later I kept getting this number calling me so I finally answered and it had been the hospital. They were trying to revive Mom for the past 10 mins and she wasn't responding. So I think the fluid that was in her legs made its way back up and that she had a heart attack because she never had the surgery in the morning like we thought.

    As for work...she was looking to work where I was at to make a little extra money but she went down hill soon after and I talked to my GM and told him it may be best if he didn't hire her. She was always having to take me to work because for the past few years I've been having issues with having "seizures" and not being able to drive for 6 months. Because I have a Pacemaker/ Defibrillator I can't get any scan with magnets so we're still trying to figure things out with me. But she would drive me and pick me up from work and come in and visit/harass everyone...lol.

    My turn to have a long post...lol.
  5. SassySnivy
    December 9th, 2019 5:04 PM
    SassySnivy
    Man, my deepest condolences. Really. That's something that's really hard to hear. I'm not up to date on the front with your mom though, was she really sick? If you don't mind me asking, certainly don't have to answer if it's still a touchy subject for you. It's so cool that you have so many people that care so much about you and have been there for you, though. Nothing in the world helps more than that, imho. Did you guys have the same workplace or something?
  6. Caite-chan
    December 9th, 2019 4:13 PM
    Caite-chan
    Trust me I know how that feels. If staff are assholes then no thank you I'm out. I've also been dealing with some hard thing as well with Mom passing away unexpectedly towards the end of October. Work was really good about everything and I think it was because of the fact that everyone knew who Mom was and always took good care of her when she would come in. I've had all the old people taking care of me and looking out for me.
  7. SassySnivy
    December 9th, 2019 4:06 PM
    SassySnivy
    Exactly my point! Hopefully I'll be able to make some new friends here, I think that would be fun and very good for my mental health as of late. Winter depression and all, y'know? And yeah, having a community in which you don't feel intimidated is just so important to me. I tried to get back into Pokefarm, but I just couldn't because the staff can be so strict with some of the tiniest things, and quite a few of the higher ups can be major pricks and honestly have no social tact at all. They haven't figured out how to professionally deal with conflict other than to smart off at people. This is a digital medium, there's no reason why you can't just put on a polite and amicable demeanor when dealing with conflicts. You don't have to respond immediately; the beauty of communicating via forums is that you. Have. The. Time. To. Come back and respond when you're cooled down. They act very exclusive and it always rubs me the wrong way. You can have a great community, but if your admins are pricks then yeah no bye, I'm out. :p Like geez. Some of these admins are older than me and their emotional maturity is 10 years under even just mine. ONE TIME I HAD TO TELL A MODERATOR OFF (politely) for calling me an art thief for some ungodly reason. You?? Do not?? Call me??? An art thief??? It was because I was making works that were derivative, despite the fact that they allow sprite edits like it's nothing. But yeah, I never got an apology for mislabeling me or anything. I'm telling you man, those people as a whole are kinda full of themselves...

    Wow that ended up way longer than I thought it would. :p I needed to get that out xD
  8. Caite-chan
    December 9th, 2019 3:48 PM
    Caite-chan
    LOL This IS my social life...lol. Everyone is so easy to talk to and I don't feel intimidated.
  9. SassySnivy
    December 9th, 2019 3:47 PM
    SassySnivy
    Man I love this place so far! Everyone seems so kind and easy to get along with. I realize now how much I miss the forum scene and actually having an active social life xD
  10. Caite-chan
    December 7th, 2019 6:10 PM
    Caite-chan
    I brought it over and everyone loves it here. I've added more and more to it and working on Gen 8 and everything with it.
  11. SassySnivy
    December 7th, 2019 6:09 PM
    SassySnivy
    Shoot, VPP is a thing here? I'm gonna go check that out, I love VPP <3
  12. Caite-chan
    December 7th, 2019 6:01 PM
    Caite-chan
    I've been doing alright. I've just been hanging around here for the most part. I check PXR every now and then but I do VPP here because more people are into it. It's more fun when there's more than just 2 people.
  13. SassySnivy
    December 7th, 2019 5:32 PM
    SassySnivy
    Right though? I haven't been on PXR much, or any forum for that matter. The only reason I came here was because the art community is pretty active, and I really wanted to get some help on my hi-res sprite project since I really wanted to work on finishing it. One region at a time though xD HOW'S YOU BEEEN.
  14. Caite-chan
    December 7th, 2019 5:08 PM
    Caite-chan
    Hey crazy I haven't seen you in fooooorrrrrrreeeeeeeevvvver. xD
  15. SassySnivy
    December 7th, 2019 5:02 PM
    SassySnivy
    What. Is. Upppppp

    (It's Speed-X lol)