Conversation Between Sheep and ZeoStar
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  1. ZeoStar
    September 7th, 2021 8:42 AM
    No don't worry, it really is okay. I didn't want to bother you. Yes I miss things pre covid too. I had made studying friends and was doing very well academically. I've lost contact with almost everybody because I couldn't pay my phone for a while. I have my hobbies to keep me busy. I appreciate this casual conversation though. It helps in those moments of missing my friends, most of the time i'm fine though. I hope your move went well and everything.

    Yes, I have my test rescheduled on September 10th. I think it'll go okay. I'm sort of tired of riding the bus, people smoke and the smell isn't pleasant.

    Prior to developing anxiety, I had not seen a doctor in about 10 years, since I was a small child. My doctor did contact me and asked me to come in (i've been avoiding it again). I'll have to go to refill medication...not really looking forward to it at all. It's like, my main source of dread right now.

    I'm trying to eat healthier too, but that's not the easiest thing either. I don't like many vegetables. My mother has told me a few times "I can't live off oatmeal" and I understand what she's saying. It's all I really eat anymore. Do you like most vegetables? I could really do with eating more, but I don't find it easy to try them without gagging. I know I'm not getting proper nutrients, so i'll just have to brave it.
  2. Sheep
    September 7th, 2021 12:18 AM
    Sorry been moving apartments and it made me suuuper forgetful with messages
    Last museum I was in was in 2020 I think, before COVID happened, in Canada... ahh I miss those times ; ; ngl I am already homesick, and I was so excited to permanently move out of my parents' house lol.. but maybe it's more me missing my cat than my home. I couldn't take her since bringing pets to Australia takes about 7 months, they need to get a few shots and wait a certain amount of time before they can be transported. Well at least this is just for 3 years and I'll be able to see her soon, she's happy in my big family house in the meantime ~

    and omggg I'm sorry. I can tell you I've had situations like that before and they always suck X_X Did you manage to reschedule?

    And yeah some doctors/nurses are great... some not so much. I had one that didn't seem like she cared at all, glad I don't go there anymore. Hopefully if I ever go to the psychologist/therapist/etc at some point they will be as nice as some of the ones you got.
  3. ZeoStar
    August 27th, 2021 4:43 PM
    Have you gotten to visit any museums recently? I think those two were the highlights of my trip and I think the coolest I had ever visited. Since you mentioned getting to travel frequently, there must be so many cool places. As much fun as I think traveling is, there's probably cons i'm not aware of. I'd probably get homesick.

    I feel similarly, because I've had the same experience of needing to explain that simply being around those things elevates my heart. I think some doctors are more understanding than others. I remember one particularly friendly man guided me through a breathing exercise. Unrelated, but I do remember hearing a public speaking tip that it helps to stare at the back of the room. Honestly it never helped me much, but I'm sure it helps some people. I'm nervous just from standing up there.

    Today wasn't a great day, unfortunately. I was finally ready to take my test at the DMV, I even had all my things gathered. (social security card, id, birth certificate, a letter with proof of residence). They even took my photo in advance. Shortly after, I was told "this isn't enough proof of my current address". I was basically told to leave and make another appointment. And now I can't get in until September 10th. I was getting quite excited about driving, so now I've been glum. It disappointed my mother too because she planned a celebratory lunch at a chinese restaurant. We ended up going anyways, just the two of us.
  4. Sheep
    August 21st, 2021 5:14 PM
    It looks like a really nice and historical museum, I'd like to go sometime :D There are so many places to visit, so little time...... (and yes all the best to those people. It's shocking how we can just....miss things by such a short moment like that. I've read about people missing deadly situations by a literal 10 seconds and it just shocks me each time. I'd be so thankful to be safe)

    And honestly, I feel like taking it for anxiety may not give an accurate answer for some. Since I hate the machine and my heart rate increases naturally when using it, it doesn't accurately represent my normal/resting heart rate. But I suppose nurses and doctors are used to people like that. I just never liked being judged based on it, always a bit tiring to tell medical people that my heart rate is only high because I hate the machine and not because I'm anxious all the time lol.

    It's mostly that I have a tendency to be a huge klutz and mess things up. (like standing in the wrong line, signing my name in a completely wrong spot). Even though I'm pretty well spoken, I can be a ditz and do the stupidest things. (like at the post office i thought the lady behind me was a worker and i asked her for stamps). Another time i was looking for a bathroom at a restaurant...and walked in the kitchen. I've gotten anxiety for these continuous screw ups. I guess on the positive side, people around me find it very amusing.
    it's never not going to surprise me how similar we are, this is literally me LOL so i can definitely say don't worry about it, plenty of people seem to just behave this way and there's nothing wrong with it :D
  5. ZeoStar
    August 12th, 2021 12:51 PM
    Here's the news article on it. Unfortunate, hopefully they recover well. It was a very nice museum.

    Yeah there's been times I've had to take the blood pressure test more than once because I panic when it squeezes. (Often I just forget to breath). I'm supposed to check in for anxiety related purposes every 6 weeks, which might sound oddly frequent. After being hospitalized multiple times the doctor wanted me checking in often. I'm not having anxiety 24/7 all the time for no reason anymore, so I admit I stopped making these appointments a priority.

    It's quite fun, even though for persona at first I was worried about finding the art style off-putting. But for sure I would be willing to try it The World Ends With You. Looks like it's a mobile game? Also what's the character like? (fufu).

    It's mostly that I have a tendency to be a huge klutz and mess things up. (like standing in the wrong line, signing my name in a completely wrong spot). Even though I'm pretty well spoken, I can be a ditz and do the stupidest things. (like at the post office i thought the lady behind me was a worker and i asked her for stamps). Another time i was looking for a bathroom at a restaurant...and walked in the kitchen. I've gotten anxiety for these continuous screw ups. I guess on the positive side, people around me find it very amusing. So the DMV terrifies me, I feel like it's the perfect place for me to have one of these screw ups. Anyways my appointment is pushed back until tuesday.

    I don't remember 2002. I guess we don't form memories until a certain age. My memory started getting much more concise around 2005-2006. Anything before that comes in blurs.
  6. Sheep
    August 11th, 2021 1:01 PM
    holy moly! it's great you guys weren't there at the time omg :x but that sucks about the hospitalized people.. hope they recover soon. geez....... D:

    They bother me in general, but for flying it's a lot worse because it's so much. I totally get what you mean about any type of pressure/squeezing though, especially this:

    (like blood pressure cuffs)
    OMG me too. I hate this thing. I swear blood pressure machines being put on me automatically make my heart rate spike even if I'm not nervous about anything. It sucks.

    P5 seems fun :D I like the art style. You should try The World Ends With You if you like P5 too, it's an anime style game and has one of the best OSTs and characters ever. My current obsession fufu.

    Good luck with the test!! it sucks but once you pass you'll feel so relieved :3 DMV sucks and the waits tend to be a bit long but it'll pass, hopefully you can use your phone or something to stay distracted while you wait.

    and yeah! I joined 2006 but seeing people who joined like, 2002 is so crazy to me....
  7. ZeoStar
    August 7th, 2021 12:52 PM
    It's okay. Hopefully you had fun traveling. It was bizarre, but you know those historical images I shared? Shortly after we left, there was a freak accident inside the museum we visited. A wall collapsed and hospitalized 3 people. I read it with my mother and we were in disbelief. We had even visited that same spot.

    Do heights bother you in general or is it just a flight related thing? My anxiety isn't from common fears, but I'm set into panic by the weirdest things. I don't like feeling exposed so instead of fully laying down I sleep elevated. Being forced down in dentist chairs, doctors beds, anything touching my chest or squeezing me (like blood pressure cuffs) will cause my anxiety. But I can ride roller coasters, zipline, mountain climb just fine, swimming, biking is all fine too.

    Ah never finished FFIV sadly. I got far but when we got home I just haven't felt like playing it anymore. I have been playing persona 5. It's odd that I like anime style games but never really got into watching anime

    Next Saturday I'm taking a short written test, if I pass I'll be eligible to drive (under supervision). It's quite exciting. Less nervous about the test because I know for sure I'll pass. More nervous about visiting the DMV. I hate visiting them, the crowds and lines are awful and I'm hoping to get in super early to avoid some of it.

    Also a random thought but some you guys join dates amaze me. Especially ones from 2006 and prior. I was around preschool age so it's so cool thinking some people already had accounts.
  8. Sheep
    August 7th, 2021 2:44 AM
    sorry, was traveling and am back now :D

    I will deeeefinitely notice when I'm upside down. Plus it's so high up lol. I'm just so easily anxious by things, though I totally get being brave in one way and not others hahaha xD

    It should get easier, but not for everyone.. especially if you're just naturally anxious/have a phobia of it. I'm very fearful of flying naturally and it doesn't get too much better for me usually. Maybe a bit, but not much. Medication seems to help the most even if it doesn't make it go away at all.

    And good job finishing FFIV!! I gotta start the new Snap stuff sometime also :3 surprised they added content and it was free rather than DLC lol, a nice surprise.

    MMOs are still fun for me but I'm probably biased D: played them so much as a teen and have an attachment. One of my favorite games is an MMO (FFXIV) and it's crazy fun too!!
  9. ZeoStar
    July 30th, 2021 9:00 AM
    Roller coasters are always so fun. There are only 7 giga coasters in the world (basically extreme sized coasters) and we live relatively near one of them. Some people will tell you it's hardly noticeable when you go upside down, but that's not exactly true. You'll just be so in the moment you it doesn't bother you. But bravery comes in different forms, what i'm brave in one aspect I probably lack bravery in other ways.

    It's still up in the air if I'll be flying (awful pun), we'll know by September. Doesn't it get easier if you've done it multiple times? I think that's how it works for people, you do something enough until it feels easy. Some stuff doesn't get easier I guess.

    I almost finished the entirety of FFIV. That's what happens when you have 25+ hours in a car. Pokemon Snap just added new free content too (As you might already know). I haven't tried unite yet. Weirdly as I've gotten older, I ended up becoming more of an introvert and as a result, began a strong preference towards solo games. When I was around 13 I only played MMO's.
  10. Sheep
    July 27th, 2021 4:05 PM
    Omg upside down?! I'd be so scared! Don't think I can ever do that, would definitely rather zipline. and roller coasters... god.... another thing I'm terrified of, you have so much more bravery than me ahshfhg glad you enjoyed! Concerts aren't my thing either, I don't really enjoy loud noise so I probably wouldn't have really held onto it as a fond memory either.

    Hopefully when you do fly you won't be scared of it anymore :3

    And yeah I'm playing NEO: The World Ends With You right now, it's one of my favorite series so I'll be very busy playing this for a while lol. Have fun with IV if you started it! I dled Unite too, it's pretty fun but does seem to lag a bit on Switch.. I had to change the frame rate from the default medium to high, and that helped a bit. Still not perfect though :(
  11. ZeoStar
    July 26th, 2021 3:20 PM
    I was feeling adventurous so I jumped on a ride called "Mystery Mine". It was completely dark and eventually flipped upside down. The zipline was very relaxing compared to that. I also rode a backwards roller coaster. My worst anxiety is usually in line, but when I'm on the ride I start feeling okay. Nope, didn't encounter many bugs. Also I attended two concerts, but they weren't the highlights for me. And went to a water park, didn't take pictures there because it wasn't the most notable place. (Still lots of fun).

    Thankfully I'm not that scared of heights, so the mountains were fine. Being on a plane scares me more because I don't know what it feels like. Most of my anxiety stems from not knowing. That's why when I'm in line I get anxiety, but when I'm on a ride and getting situated I feel better.

    Have you played anything else interesting lately? I downloaded FFIV to keep me busy during downtime, and I almost finished the entire game. Pokemon Showdown 4 player is super fun. There's also Pokemon Unite which is free to download on switch.

    I feel quite okay right now, thanks. It was refreshing being away from home for a while. Not completely magically better, but in a better way than before I left. (if that makes sense).
  12. Sheep
    July 26th, 2021 7:03 AM
    omg that's so cool! I admire you for being able to ride a zipline, I'd be too scared. x'D That's some courage! And those historical objects, oooo... looks so relaxing with all the nature there. Plenty of bugs I'm sure, but nice views :3 glad you liked it!!
  13. ZeoStar
    July 26th, 2021 5:49 AM
    Hey check this out, I'm back from my trip. Luckily I only got sick towards the very end, and now I feel okay. (None of my family got sick).

    Anyways it was a great time. Saw lots of artifacts from the Titanic (Chessboard, Silverware, Glasses), went all the way up in the mountains, rode a zipline, (kind of scared me but it ended up being okay).

    Here's my photo gallery
  14. ZeoStar
    July 21st, 2021 8:44 PM
    I have covid. Sorry, this might delays these messages even more. I'll update you when I feel okay. Just fatigued and feverish.

    I admit I stopped masking and I've been hanging out in large crowds. I was fully vaccinated so I tossed caution out the window.
  15. Sheep
    July 21st, 2021 10:23 AM
    I didn't realize I got a message! oopsss

    I hope you end up liking it. One of these days maybe I will too. But if not it's okay, I'll just use medication or try techniques to keep myself calm.. doing my best to fight it, as hard as it is. Take-off is scary to some but others love watching flying into the sky and seeing things below them. I wish I felt the same way!

    and not really a completionist ahaha, or not anymore. There are far too many requests to complete anyway and some of them are so confusing on how to trigger... like, I doubt I'd be able to do 90% of them without a guide aha

    I hope your depression has been better!! <3 many hugs! has it improved in the last week??

    (also 4 player randoms? omg that seems so busy, hopefully everyone has a good connection and doesn't take too long etc)