Better, but it seems you're still behind with punctuation and the way you've done it, it seems you've done it for the sake of it rather than trying to improve your sign up.
For now, i'm declining you, but if you wanna try again, go for it. :)
it looks like you're still having a bit of trouble with your past and present tense -- i'd also ask if you could be a bit more descriptive, especially during dialogue. you seem to cut off the dialogue before you describe how they say something. i mentioned that in my initial feedback.
for instance -- saying hello can mean different things depending on tone. for instance
"Hello," she said, a smile on her face.
"Hello," she said forcefully.
You can also describe what people are doing while they are talking.
"Hello." She scratched her face, forcing a smile. "How are you doing?"