Ok, so I got some helps from few people and I realised that some of the sentences were off to pointless. I will fix them, but next two days I will be off for family trip so maybe today I would fix them fast. I will tell you later when I finish.
Edit : So I fix a few sentences that are meaningless and repeating, and tweak the grammar error. I am sure that the SU is so far ok to me. But I'm not sure about you. If you find any places that are needed to be fix, please point out to me because I'm not a good checker. :<
Hey, just wanted to ask if you actally fixed it or not. There's still some issues so you might want to get someone to help you out with the specific details. There's issues in almost every section but I hope you can fix that.