Conversation Between Puddle and Fairy
166 to 180 of 207
  1. Fairy
    January 24th, 2014 6:19 PM
    Fairy
    Ah ****. Now that's a whole different world of pain. I have anxiety too (wasn't diagnosed until after I got sober, go figure), but I can say with confidence that I do not rely on my boyfriend for everything, least of all happiness. Sounds to me like there's a lot of self esteem issues going on there with your girlfriend. Then again, living in a house like that, it's not easy for anyone. I'm sorry she has to go through something like that; it's no burden for a teenager.

    It's not your job to reaffirm her if she's feeling down. The best thing she can do is find that strength within herself and be the woman she and you know she is, deep down. Subsequently, that would give you the freedom that you crave. Being trapped in a relationship like that though, where no one is getting what they need, is not healthy. Just remember that your life is about you, and you don't need to commit to anything you're not emotionally prepared for. Unless you really love this girl, than give it all you got. But the more important thing is that you do what's right for you.

    I don't mind the venting! I actually consider myself rather equipped to deal with others issues. :)
  2. Puddle
    January 24th, 2014 6:10 PM
    Puddle
    I had a pretty solid one and was in a really happy state, but not as much now. I got a needy girlfriend with anxiety and needs me every second to be happy. She has a disabled brother and mother and step dad with cancer. Step dad has a back injury, mother can't lift and she's small. Her brother can't walk and his care giver isn't always there. Therefore, a lot of time, I get the burden. I miss my high school life. I miss the fun. I'm stuck in a practical marriage and I miss just hanging with my buddies. Sorry, now I'm just venting.
  3. Fairy
    January 24th, 2014 6:07 PM
    Fairy
    Well, it kind of is like drugs. It's about not always knowing the right outlet for your emotions. Nobody gets a felony record because they're doing something right. But, you need to understand that fights like that break out because your father and step mother are sick. If they're alcoholics, than they have their own demons and can't always regulate the way they feel.

    On that note though, exercise can be, and is, a fantastic outlet for those kinds of feelings. Having a healthy lifestyle and working on your physical self gives you a lot of confidence in the way you appear to others. Just make sure not to go overboard. You may not feel this way but, since your father may be an alcoholic, that means you have a predisposition to addiction. It's like having a recessive trait. The best thing you can do is keep everything in moderation. The way you express yourself, how often your on the internet, exercise, food, everything.

    Balance, my friend. It cures many things~
  4. Puddle
    January 24th, 2014 5:59 PM
    Puddle
    I understand that completely. My dad and step mom are both Drunks as well as pot heads. My dad used to abuse me when I was younger, around 15 or so. I started doing intense working out because I was just always pissed off. I told him it was to help me with baseball (I was top 10 in my state at the time), when it really wasn't. One day, things got a little carried away with him as always, and he punched me in the face. My dad is 5'6' so he's pretty small, but he's got a lot of muscle. However, this definitely brought my adrenaline up, plus, I gained probably 15lbs of Muscle weight within a couple months. Instead of running like I always did, I gave him a look, and then punched him square in the mouth and then would not stop. I hospitalized him with multiple broken bones and of course, things haven't been the same since.

    Obviously, this isn't anything like drugs, I was just letting you know that I understand the broken home thing.
  5. Fairy
    January 24th, 2014 5:52 PM
    Fairy
    No, it's time I get this out for good anyway.

    I started doing drugs, even superficially, at 13. This was low level stuff, sneaking cigarettes, taking sips of alcohol, and smoking weed that may have been more basil than drug. I always knew I wanted more though. You see, I grew up in a hell of a home, where things like substance abuse wasn't just apparent; it was encouraged. My dad was a mean drunk and my mom was even meaner. So, I did drugs to escape. There was no peer pressure, no mental disorder, no accidents. Eventually, at about 15-16, I started using prescription pills (pain killers, opiates) because they were available. When I ran out of money, I sold drugs to support my habit; which is where the felony charges came from. I turned to heroin after all that because I had nothing left. I didn't give enough of a **** about myself to do other drugs, so I did the worst I could. Simple as that.

    The thing is, you don't have to be raised in the streets or in gangs, or molested, or anything terrible to turn to drugs. Addiction doesn't discriminate and nobody is immune to it. So even if you're raised in the perfect household in the suburbs with all the things a child could want, it can always happen.

    There's a lot of nuances with addiction nowadays, but if you're even interested in learning I'm happy to help explain things. From a user's perspective, of course, not a medical one. It's good that you're curious though. I decided to come out about being an addict for many reasons, but one is because I hope to dispel a lot of myths and educate people on it.
  6. Puddle
    January 24th, 2014 5:37 PM
    Puddle
    Hehehe (:. How old were you when you started and what led you to do this? Depression + Peer Pressure? You can PM if you'd feel safer.
  7. Fairy
    January 24th, 2014 5:34 PM
    Fairy
    That's right. :) It was a terrible road I went down, but I've made so much out of my life since. I don't ever want to lose the things I have now, especially for the drugs that took it all away in the first place.

    Now stop being so awesome I only have one staff emblem to give you. xD
  8. Puddle
    January 24th, 2014 5:31 PM
    Puddle
    Everyone makes a few mistakes, right? I hate how people tend to downgrade someone for their past, when they probably did some pretty crappy things as well. We all do imperfect things, and that's what makes us perfect.

    Also, I think I understand how you're still addicted. It's something you crave. Heroine feeds off your body it seems. However, without it, your body feels almost incomplete. It's an addiction that may never go away, but stay strong, Strawberry. I know you have enough will power deep down inside to stay clean for the rest of your life. Anyone can turn their life around.

    Heroin is a poison, now make like Alakazam, use Psychic and KO that pesky little drug!
  9. Fairy
    January 24th, 2014 5:26 PM
    Fairy
    Wow.. that's one of the nicest things anyone here has ever said to me..

    Don't worry though, I'm sober now. It's too much to explain addiction right now, but just because I'm not using doesn't mean I'm not an addict. That's just how it is. Addiction is a disease; similar to when someone has cancer, just because they're in remission, it doesn't mean their body's wont still produce cancer cells, you know what I mean?

    I have a very long and upsetting story, with a lot of trauma and loss in there. But; it means the world to me that you're willing to see through that. It really does.
  10. Puddle
    January 24th, 2014 5:17 PM
    Puddle
    I mean I've smoked, done shrooms, LSD, and Ecstacy and I wouldn't even recommend those. You're an intelligent girl. I'm sure you understand how bad heroine is for you. However, I don't know you in real life, and to my understanding you have a boyfriend and all that. I'm not gonna sit here and preach to you about how you need to quit, because that doesn't make anyone feel better. But, I am just gonna say that I am here for you if you need any support, and I'm supporting you 100%.
  11. Fairy
    January 24th, 2014 5:13 PM
    Fairy
    Funny, because that was my drug of choice. Well, that and prescription pain killers. Thanks though. I've only just decided that I'm going to come clean about my past (that was my first post that directly said it aloud) so I appreciate your support. :)
  12. Puddle
    January 24th, 2014 5:06 PM
    Puddle
    yo dawg let's do some heroin!
    I'm just kidding! I love you regardless of what you do!
  13. Puddle
    January 20th, 2014 7:42 PM
    Puddle
    I saw you and Dakota's chat. I want in that party!!!!!!!!!!!!
  14. Puddle
    January 20th, 2014 6:04 PM
    Puddle
    Yayyy (:. I know you wanna PM me dat reward. (:
  15. Fairy
    January 20th, 2014 6:03 PM
    Fairy
    Haha, we'll see. ;) A&D's never let a member down before!