Showing Visitor Messages 1201 to 1215 of 1920
-
March 15th, 2010 4:50 PMFuyuusing temporary internet can't.
-
March 15th, 2010 4:37 PMLegendarian Mistress*pokes*
-
March 14th, 2010 4:09 PMFuyuOkay. Lessee...
First one...
I'd take out most of the adjectives, and I have no clue about where it was going. For the last sentence I would put "Your fingers get sore just thinking about attempting to pull one out."
The second one I really don't know what to do with I'm afraid. Sorry. -
March 14th, 2010 4:04 PMLegendarian MistressQuote:I think you may have used the wrong word here. And there’s something about the end of the last sentence that bugs me. I think it’s the tense, but I’m not sure how to fix it.
Hundreds of shining, light blue crystals stuck out of the ground as that great entrance, appearing perfect and big, like you would find at the Hearthome church, approached more, and thus becoming only greater and marvelous. Some crystals stood as tall as a good human height and some peeked out smoothly, like an ordinary rock. The truth was the lustrous crystals were well wedged into the ground. The thought of simply trying to pull one out alone gets your fingers sore.
Quote:Do you mean the sun in the sky? I got the sentence after a few more read throughs, but I think it may need to be reworked, somewhat.
When close enough to see inside the great cavern, the crystals look plain compared to what is the inside. The sun at first stands out at extreme brightness after the hell-fire amount of time inside Mount Coronet. Many pure stone pillars, of many heights, stand tall and glorious, and shine with their soft cherry blossom finish. Many of the pillars are speared at the top, some pillars are plain, some look like the top was blown off, and a few are gone, only their base left standing. In the middle of the largeness lays a peculiar small elevation with a triangular figure. The elevation is circled by many pillars, in perfect form, height, and only speared. Those pillars stand out with an extra silver glare under the great light of the sun.
Dagzar's helping me, those are her quotes. -
March 14th, 2010 3:20 PMLegendarian Mistress*pokes*
-
March 10th, 2010 5:04 PMFuyuKAy. See ya tomorrow.
-
March 10th, 2010 5:03 PMLegendarian MistressGotta go.
-
March 9th, 2010 3:38 PMLegendarian MistressHey, online?
-
March 8th, 2010 6:53 PMLegendarian MistressOi
-
March 7th, 2010 2:59 PMLegendarian Mistress*pokes*
-
March 5th, 2010 6:39 PMLegendarian MistressOnline please? Need someone to talk to, am bored.
-
February 28th, 2010 3:19 PMLegendarian Mistress*pokes*
-
February 26th, 2010 3:09 PMLegendarian MistressI can't log onto AIM for some reason.
-
February 25th, 2010 7:26 PMLegendarian Mistress*pokes*
-
February 25th, 2010 5:42 PMFuyuLOL :D

