Ah. Makes sense now. If you could do a little colour key, and have the different views in different colours, it would make it easier to understand for readers.
Well, let's just think... Contains a dilemma, has revenge, and a family theme (I absolutely love themes based on family!). May be a little short for my liking, but for a short one-off thing, it is great in my eyes! Something that i re-read that is confusing:
"I came out as an Umbreon"Fine, however:
"I took it upon myself to teach Espeon to fight, teaching them great Psychic strategy,"
this is kinda weird, as why would an Umbreon teach Espeons? And Espeons tesch Umbreons bite? Or is it a switch of view?