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Visitor Messages

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  1. the Alolan naturalist
    February 6th, 2021 1:03 PM
    the Alolan naturalist
    Im online now;
  2. the Alolan naturalist
    February 6th, 2021 12:21 PM
    the Alolan naturalist
    since we seem to be missing each other, I will be online at 4pm eastern sharp. hope you can make it!!
  3. the Alolan naturalist
    February 6th, 2021 12:15 PM
    the Alolan naturalist
    i can get online now in AS and trade you ledyba with everstone. Sorry my computer screen was acting up so I had to turn it off
  4. the Alolan naturalist
    February 6th, 2021 11:18 AM
    the Alolan naturalist
    actually let me just move ledyba into my alpha sapphire cartridge I have everstone there I think...
  5. the Alolan naturalist
    February 6th, 2021 11:15 AM
    the Alolan naturalist
    I've got Mrs Ladybug but I seem to have misplaced my everstone (maybe I accidentally released it). if you want to do the trade now, I can send you ledyba first, and then another pokemon with your everstone so you can have it back?
  6. the Alolan naturalist
    February 6th, 2021 10:02 AM
    the Alolan naturalist
    hey; let me know what time works best for you for the trade, today or tomorrw!
  7. the Alolan naturalist
    February 1st, 2021 3:48 PM
    the Alolan naturalist
    yes! I was hoping you didnt already have 2 ledyba!
    I'm doing allright, how are you? Are your BF and mom fully recovered?
    I actually gave up the venomoth hunt for the time being because I didnt want to phase for ledyba again but since you're taking that one off my hands I might go back to it. I'm doing an espurr/munna safari hunt now. I've already got one espurr of each gender so I'm hoping for munna next but I gotta say I wonder if some safaris arent biased in favor of one pokemon over the others? I've gotten so many repeats...
    I can def do a weekend hunt, just let me know what time and date. I won't take the lillilup for free (or the spearow I'm still hoping to get from you) for the same reason I didnt want the pumpkaboo for free: shinies are valuable! You may find someone to trade it with for something good! I'll wait till I have an extra shiny to check back with you :)
    Do you want a nickname for Ledyba? She's a girl:)
  8. User19sq
    February 1st, 2021 2:14 AM
    I'm sorry for all of that.
  9. the Alolan naturalist
    January 29th, 2021 6:01 PM
    the Alolan naturalist
    Hey, I hope you're doing well! I'm still hoping to get that pumpkaboo from you, provided I can give you something worthwhile in exchange. Do you by any chance need a Ledyba? I got a female one today phasing on a venomoth hunt. if you're interested let me know what nickname you want if any (for the pumpkaboo I'd love Jack or Jackie depending on gender, as a play on jack o' lantern) and we can each give the traded pokemon an everstone since as I learned you can't press B on a trade evo
    Of course if you dont need a ledyba feel free to disregard everything I said :)
  10. ZeoStar
    January 8th, 2021 8:03 PM
    Uh hopefully you don't mind the name birdo either. This one doesn't have much logic, but:

    We are okay, thanks for asking. Not the greatest start to this year...but things can change and look up. My mother is getting her vaccination tomorrow for covid (She's in the healthcare field).

    Random question, but are you a cat or dog person
  11. User19sq
    January 7th, 2021 2:01 AM
    I'm so sorry. I know you were only trying to help, but I'm afraid I have to leave this place. Maybe for a while, maybe for good. I don't know. I'm not well.

    Years ago before you were promoted, I asked the staff to issue out a temporary ban on me. This was during the time I knew things here at home would only get worse. I knew that, if I was allowed to remain active, and in complete control of my own account, I would make a mess of things. And they told me to get lost.

    And they've denied my request again, for the second time. I don't know if they just don't understand the idea of someone's declining mental health, or if they just don't care for someone who happens to be suffering. They could all be laughing at me behind the scenes, making fun of the loser who can't drink water or can barely walk anymore. But the fact remains that someone who's mentally unstable somehow knows better than them.

    I was right to ask for it. If they had just honored my request, I wouldn't have been flung into the irrational mental state that coaxed me to lash out at Cariad. And now she absolutely refuses to listen to me beg and grovel for her forgiveness, for a shot at letting her know that I really am sorry. I've known her since she was only 11 years old, and I threw it all away.

    And the worst part is that I saw this coming from millions of kilometers away. If I wasn't allowed to access my account, maybe she wouldn't hate me so much. I could've prevented this, but I wasn't allowed to. And now I can't fix anything.

    You don't want to know what it's like to be completely abandoned by the entire world, by the people you thought cared about you, just to leave you to suffer with no one to talk to until you die. Every passer-by who looks at you tries to make themselves feel better by telling you that "it's going to get better." It doesn't. It never does. It gets worse. And now my knee is broken, the muscles in my legs are decaying from lack of use, and my ribcage feels like it's going to cave in because I have very little water to drink. Nothing gets better.

    Cariad was the last person I thought I had in the world. She at some point stopped taking interest in me, and just abandoned me. People come and people go, so I can't blame her for that. But that didn't stop me from doing what I did to her. And nobody in the staff let me prevent it like I knew I could have. But that's just how it goes nowadays, right? The gunman makes offensive posts online, writes a manifesto on Facebook, purchases firearms in broad daylight, and nobody cares enough to take notice. But then he goes out and shoots up the place, and everyone acts all surprised as if there were no warning signs.

    But in this case, the gunman's outright telling you that he needs help, that he needs those in charge to stop him from hurting anyone else. But the staff only tells me, "You haven't hurt anyone yet, so deal with it on your own. We're just going to do nothing until after someone gets hurt, and then we can blame you for everything because you're a loser. We don't care about the warning signs." I've done this once before to Cariad, and I'm incredibly afraid of whom I'll end up hurting next.

    I don't think it's healthy for me to remain capable of showing up here anymore, to wait for her to listen to me in spite of knowing that she never will. For the past month or so, I've found myself crying so much every time I think about her and what I've done. Sometimes, it's how I fall asleep. I tried to have makeshift therapy sessions by writing out my thoughts in my own VM board, to help me sort things out. It worked for a bit, but only so much. I'm still speaking to nobody, so I can't tell if my thoughts are the right ones that I'm supposed to have. I don't know if I hate her for leaving me alone, or if I still care about her enough to try fixing it all. And it scares me not knowing what I feel anymore.

    I've had nightmares of plenty of my family, and I sleep with a knife nearby in fear of having to brandish it again. With my mind and body falling apart, and their ability to go through my bedroom door's lock, a knife is a fighting chance. I don't want to be in contact with anyone while I feel the pressing need to keep a weapon nearby at all times. I don't want to conflict who's kind with who's trying to tear me down.

    All I wanted was one year. To be lost in other places, where I can recover without hurting someone. I know I can't restrain myself from coming back. I didn't ask for this just to be edgy, or to send someone a message. I know I'm not well, and I probably won't be for a while longer. And nobody cares, just like nobody cared when my knee first broke.

    I don't want to be this way anymore. I want to be better. When I return from my shoddy, self-imposed isolation - and we all know I will because I've done this before - I'll have to start breaking rules just to get what I need. Maybe I'll post pornography somewhere, I don't know. I just wanted this to happen peacefully, without me making a mess of things like I always do. But that's not allowed. The idea of breaking the rules sickens me so much. I'm hoping to make it an entire year by my own accord so I wouldn't have to break the rules, but I fear I can't restrain myself, just as I couldn't the last time I tried to take a break. But I'm the bad guy, whether I want to be or not.

    Please don't confuse the word "victim" with the idea of "innocence." I'm no saint. My hands are not clean. Maybe that's why I'm suffering so much; I deserve to lose my body and will to live because of who I hurt and will soon hurt. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.

    Your messages were also saved as emails, so even if I never check the address tied to this account, I can still go back to retrieve your resources. You can always send more for me, since I'm not allowed to be banned, and I'll catch them as emails. But if you need a more immediate connection, I've left my Discord tag in my profile. Of course it's only a temporary tag, and I don't expect you to actually use it at all, but the option's there to tell myself that I at least tried something in the endgame.

    I'm so sorry. For everything. I know you're going through some things of your own, so I don't want to impose any further. Please take care of yourself, and do yourself a favor: Stay as far away from me as possible before I do something stupid again. Cariad has zero idea of anything I've told you, and she refuses to hear a single word I say, so she'll never know what this is all about. But you do. So if by some astronomical reason I end up lashing out at you, I can at the very least ensure in advance that I can soften the blow by opening up to you.

    Thank you. For listening. For making me feel like someone actually knew I existed. I'm afraid of going back into the silence where nobody can hear me crying out for help. But after what I've done to that girl, maybe the silence is where I belong after all.

    Please stay safe.
  12. Roni
    January 5th, 2021 6:25 AM
    Thank you Sam! Had been on the fence for a long while, and sorta regretted being too scared to apply the last time PC was open for mod apps, ans and I thought I wouldn't have a chance for another couple months or years.

    So I was really surprised when you guys reached out earlier! Can't believe you guys have been considering me all this time T-T I'm soft.

    I'mma do my best to be a responsible mod that people can respect, while also not losing my fun side!

    Can't wait to read your long and fun reply either! Conversations with you are pretty dope. I'll keep an eye out for it :D
  13. Allen303
    January 4th, 2021 4:16 AM
    All existing members as well as new members sorry for answering late
  14. Soaring Sid
    January 3rd, 2021 5:59 PM
    Soaring Sid
    Hi VisionofMilotic, it's been quite some time! I wish you a beautiful and amazing year ahead. How's life?
  15. ZeoStar
    January 1st, 2021 9:06 AM
    I wanted to give a better shiny than Swanna, but it turns out I didn't have any more on this cartridge. Hence why I was searching all over. And no ribombee is cute, it's ok. Anyways I love the colors on shiny whismicott so much. I wasn't even sure what it was going to look like.

    Also happy new year!

About Me

  • About VisionofMilotic
    I'd pluck a fair rose for my love

    I'd pluck a red rose blowin'

    Love's in my heart, I'm tryin' so to prove

    What your heart's knowin'

    I'd pluck a finger on a thorn

    I'd pluck a finger bleedin'

    Red is my heart, wounded and forlorn

    And your heart's needin'

    I'd hold a finger to my tongue

    I'd hold a finger waitin'

    My heart is sore, until it joins in song

    With your heart matin'
    Sootopolis City
    Female ♀
    Contest Coordinator
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    Dragon, Kai
    Favorite Pokémon
    Dragonite, Gyarados, Suicuine, Skarmory, Milotic, Absol, Mega Sceptile, Charmander, Serperior, Mimikyu, Munchlax, Raichu, Cresselia
    In-Game Name
    Go Team
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  • Signature

    Name: Narcissus
    Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage

    I got Haxorus on "What Dragon-Type Pokemon are you?"


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