Squirtlenator

For sure. I know for a while I've sorta beaten myself up over the thought that "I'm not doing enough because I don't have a job", especially graduating high school. It's nice to like, know I'm doing that, I suppose?
I am... quite surprised you think that, haha, but thank you! I think conversation gets really easy when I get to know someone, or maybe it just seems like I'm good at it on the forums. Having that familiarity is both gonna make things easier in the job and part of why I think I was able to get hired.
It's for part-time but I'm not sure what the hours or anything are like. I figure they'll sort things out with me when I show up for my first shift.

Thank you! It's just some basic retail job but it's at a hobby/card store I've kinda grown up on and gotten to know people well at. Nothing too interesting, haha. Nice to know I'll have one though.

Oh shi-
I actually ended up getting the job a couple nights ago, I was going to open up some thread and notify you guys (I believe Ash was also interested) but I think I just forgot to or something, my brain fried and I was pretty surprised by the whole thing as well. Shifts start on Sunday which is why I've been going to sleep earlier and also totally not staying up tonight to watch a live Love Live performance... so if you're seeing me online at weird times, that's probably why.
Thanks for the reminder actually, and for your support as well.~

No sadly I didn't I was a bit afraid to go outside again. My anxiety got to me from bad nightmares I had last night. Though I was active and cleaned around my place so I did get some kind of workout.

I like Fantasy, Some SciFi, Action, Mystery, Some Drama, Historical too like War films, Martial arts and Adventure.
I love a lot of movies and know a lot about some of the lore or information about them too.

That's good your doing well it was sunny here too and warm. May I ask do you like watching movies?

Hey Squirtlenator ~
Thank you for checking on me, your very kind as always to me. It went well even more progress made I told her more about PC, she's happy there's good people on here and that they treat me well too. How are you today I hope also good?

Omg okay gimme like 80 meenyears lol.

Thank you for the message back, I appreciate. Also you're right about all of it. Please take care Squirtlenator~

Hey Squirtlenator~
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I just wanted to say hi to you and see how're you're doing lately~? I didn't hear back from you in private and thought I must of said something wrong and scared you off, apologies if that was the case. I didn't mean too. I've been struggling going through minor ups and downs with my mood or more self esteem lately. I always think I suck at communicating well with people my feelings or just in general talking. Thus causing to say the wrong things and causing people to leave. My confidence and courage levels these past 2 weeks been toughI have to admit and changeling for me as well.

So my self esteem wasn't as high as it was first was when joining PC from the start of this month. So if I ever said anything that offended or just something you didn't like I apologize. However yesterday and today things have been changing in my mood and life so far and I'm doing really great now. My therapist after a year and two months finally had an appointment with my mother and sister yesterday evening . My therapist was explaining to them what I've been talking about with her and how both of them can help me more than argue with me since they don't understand my pain or what C-PTSD really is.

To be honest my mother and sister are sadly not educated about PTSD in general and think what I have is an easy fix. However really it will take some years of me healing to get 100% well were I feel happiness and peace, perhaps for the first time even. So when I first met my therapist my mother found me, I told her the first step for me to heal from my C-PTSD is get my mother and sister on board so when I get triggered or have a bad day they can help support me better. Also understand me more and my struggles from years of people hurting me.

I'm not sure what was said my next appointment with my therapist I see her Friday. So she will tell me what happened in the session between all three of them yesterday. I really hope all good things and them understanding me a bit more as well, though we will see. I really do appreciate your support and kindness you've always shown me on here when we have spoken to each other a bit. You're a really great guy and good person, I hope you get the very best out of life as well, you deserve it.

Well I hope you have a great rest of the day/night, please take care~

Leaf~

that's most certainly true! i've got a lot to be proud of and a lot of live for so I know that going back to drugs will never be an option for me -- especially when I have such a great support system with friends, family, and PC. Thanks for the pep talk. <33

haha, blank canvas, I see what you did there :p

addiction is.. a more complex beast than "normal" mistakes; like getting a speeding ticket or accidentally telling a secret you were supposed to keep. And even though I made a fresh start for myself years ago now, I will forever exist on this plane where I know I could just get high and make my problems go away. It's changed the chemistry of my brain permanently and in no uncertain terms. I dunno, I'm probably not telling you anything you don't already know.. it's just still a struggle and the moment I let my guard down is the moment that "well, maybe one drink would be okay" or "I haven't had a cigarette in 11 years! i'll just get one pack" is the moment I've already begun the cycle all over again. The only rush I get that's nearly as close is being able to help others and spread positivity.

oof i made this a downer didn't I? ahhh sorry ;w;

Truthfully, my nature is to be humble and wave off your compliments if I'm being honest.. but thank you. It makes me so glad that I could make anyone's day just a little bit better. Not to get all wrapped up in psychology.. but I think it's kinda tough for me to accept positive things about myself when in my head I still feel so close to that young drug addict who brought nothing but negativity to the world rather than enriched it, you know? But doing small favors for people (especially when it involves my art!) and just being pleasant makes my heart full again and that's worth its weight in gold to me. Thank you for your kind words.. it really does mean a lot to me.

omg omg omg your gonna make me emotional stooooopppp ;W;

i'm so glad i could make a positive impact on you though, you don't know how happy that makes me :)

not a problem! i figured you'd get a kick out of it n_n; thanks for being such an awesome friend since joining the forum <3