Heya =) just dropping by to let you know I've not stopped reading your fanfic, I've just been away from the forum for a few days and need to catch up! XD I think I got to chapter 12 yesterday. It's still great =D I'll post a review when I've caught up!
Hello. I looked over your review, and I think I need to restate what I said about neglecting Victory City's description. You're right - you did provide a description of adequate length to describe the city. The problem is, the description isn't to the point. From that description, I don't know what kinds of buildings are in the city (lots of skyscrapers, or shorter buildings?) what the streets are like, what kind of shops and restaurants are around, the nitty-gritty of a city. The description needs to have more emphasis on providing as many important details in a short span. My advice is to take images off the internet and focus on making as concise a description as possible without stripping any details, because at this point, your descriptive language is the weakest part of the storytelling.
On the otherhand, I would argue that your characterization is your strong point - you have a solid grasp on how your characters would react to a given situation.
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Name: You're a Survivor! You lived through the apocalypse that is Black Friday, trudged through miles of snow, and still managed to join the fun over at the 25 Days of Gaming! We appreciate it! Happy holidays!
