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[PKMN OPEN] Off The Menu [Aw, ain't you a big tickle?] [T] [OOC]

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
Posts
12
Years
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plot du jour


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You're an employee at Finer Things, a Bar and Bistro celebrating its first year of business by throwing an Anniversary Ball. Connoisseurs are expected to claim their long-held reservations around 7:00 PM, but management is eagerly anticipating one customer in particular: it appears an important foreign ambassador will be in attendance.

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Your superiors need you to be exceptional tonight. So instead distributing all the tips equally amoungst those who aren't on payroll, what you collect personally is what you go home with. This may be a problem if you rely on the usual system to pay rent or don't have social skills, but that's the point. You need to work as hard as you can to seize this big opportunity, or earn any money at all. Additionally, the Owner - who you've never seen in person - plans to gift a mysterious Glittering Green Present to anyone who proves extraordinarily impressive. This prize is locked safely away in the depths of the Office, and might prove incentive enough to be on your best behavior.

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Keep your reading comprehension skills about you though, there's more than meets the eye happening here tonight. You might overhear something or be pulled into the midst of an overarching plot that, when toyed with, could dramatically change the ending of this roleplay.

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the main course


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The plot will last six in-game hours, starting from 7:00 PM and ending at 1:00 AM on "July 14-15th, ." Your Superobjective during this timeframe is to make as much money as you can. Whoever does will be crowned the ultimate winner of the RP, and the most creative writer will earn the in-character reward of the Glittering Green Present. These rewards can be won by the same person or separate individuals.

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Completing Duties earn your character money, and new ones are available to pick up every hour. However, random events might come upon you; scenarios, information, or choices that your reaction to may cause an increase or decrease in your payout. Some Duties will have to be tackled by more than one character, so when those appear feel free to hop on a mission with someone else to help them or commit sabotage.

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Each hour players will gain the power to Order Takeout, a one-use ability to devise a beneficial or disastrous event that will immediately occur to another player in their next post. An event might force you to suddenly invoke this on a specific character or with a certain effect if you go too long without using it, so pay attention to everyone else's writing and try to find the perfect time to strike!

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Be mindful of my GM avatars Carmine and Lombardi if you plan on being a chronic backstabber: they can give or take away Favor, and if you sink too low or are caught doing something absolutely horrendous, you'll be Fired. When a shift in your character's Favor occurs, you can gauge how you stand depending on the intensity of their reaction.

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An activity called The Guest List will appear in the OOC Thread every twenty in-game minutes that both players and fans can participate in! A guest attending the Anniversary Ball will be presented and everyone can probe them about their life; these NPCs have Secrets that they might accidentally reveal if you ask the right or most thought-provoking question. If you manage to get it out of them, you can expect some in-character benefits. If a fan wins, they can choose who gets the prize! Ask your questions as if they're being said by your character and you might find that the NPC is generous with their answers.

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While all slots are filled as of now, I'm flexible on the concept and am open to nontraditional sign-ups that cast you as a different member of the staff or a special guest!

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now hiring!


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Name -- Only first names; include nicknames or despised derivatives. It's odd to find someone in this fictional world that does have a "surname" or "family name" without a justification.

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Gender -- Anything from the spectrum.

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Appearance -- Species with specifications such as Shiny status, Forme, Mega-Evolved, Alolan typing, unusual physical features, and age group (at least comparable to sixteen-human-years.) Evolutionary stage is not indicative of age. Fakemon, Legendaries, Wailord, and Ditto are prohibited. Employees are required to wear a green, black, and white-striped tie while on duty; it can be any style and size and can be worn on any appropriate, easily visible body part. You're free to include other professional attire that adheres to the color palette.

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Moveset -- Four moves that are available to your species in Sun/Moon standards, and describe their effect or how you might use them. One of these slots can be used for an Egg/Tutor Move. I might reject ones altogether if they verge of godmodding territory. OHKO Moves are prohibited.

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Background -- At least a paragraph on your character's history, why they ended up in this job, notable quirks, passions, and mannerisms. Remark on how long you've been working at Finer Things: are you brand new or have you been here for some time?

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Prompt -- Provide at least three paragraphs based on ONE of the following prompts. Note that what you write will not be integrated into the canon.

Spoiler:

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Secret -- DO NOT POST THESE PUBLICLY. Everyone has events, places, people, or things that they'd rather leave in the past. Please private message at least one character "Secret" to the GM in tandem with submitting your Sign-Up.

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house rules


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Keep all content Rated T. If you need to suggest an event or quirk that borders on darker or more mature themes, ask for approval. As always, follow the general guidelines set up for this section.

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Respect the GM and Writing Standard. Reach out to me if you have a concern or request; my Discord is WhosKiyo#7762. Also, write in past-tense so we're all on the same page.

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Inactivity puts your player status at risk. You are expected to make a post eight days after the last viable post you can respond to, or ten if the upcoming entry is a Joint Post. I'll try to notify those approaching their deadline, but hold the right to free up your slot any time after your due date. If you need an extension or are unable to continue participating, or want to switch out your character, contact me. Additionally, I have the ability to do anything I desire with a character whose player has dropped the game.

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No Godmodding or Bunnying without permission. Any imposed conditions or rewards/punishments your character receives are to be heeded. Also, you are never allowed to control the actions or words of any character you did not create unless given explicit permission by the creator. Any joint posts must be approved by all parties involved before being posted to the IC Thread.

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No-one is omnipresent, and no directly sharing Private Messages. Your character knows as much as they have personally discovered. Just because you know something out-of-character, that doesn't mean your character would suddenly know the same thing or have a "gut feeling" towards the truth. There is no tolerance for directly quoting or forwarding any game-related private messages you receive unless given specific permission.
 
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Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
Posts
12
Years
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IC Thread
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Workshop Thread
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[alink id="bosschar"]Bosses[/alink id]
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[alink id="staffchar"]Staff[/alink id]
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[alink id="guestchar"]Customers[/alink id]
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[alink id="worldloc"]Locations[/alink id]
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[alink id="worldfaq"]FAQ[/alink id]
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[alink id="fanart"]Fan Art[/alink id]
[a id]bosschar[/a id]
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may i speak to the manager?


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This aging Trumbeak is Carmine, the Maî·tre D', and he has been in the business longer than you have been alive, but don't let the thin round-frame glasses and graying feathers deceive you: his spry figure and keen sense of eyesight grant him near omnipresence. He doubles as the employee manager, and therefore has the ability to benefit or fire anyone he pleases. One would be correct in describing his demeanor as cold and nervous, but he also loves novelty, considers himself a part-time scholar, and is nothing short of a perfectionist. Impress him, and you've got a loyal and powerful ally.

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No one is sure why Lombardi, the Chef considers herself a gentle giant, but perhaps it's the environment of the restaurant that sparks the Typhlosion to be incredibly hard and demanding. Her ferocious demeanor is complimented by her looming presence and ear piercings, and when the going gets tough, you can expect her to throw temper tantrums so horrendous that it seems like she's willing to dirty her apron with your blood. Although she might be secretive and disorganized, she does have her soft spots for corny jokes and is very generous. Get on her good side, and you might reap interesting gifts.

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PJ Clarke, the Janitor has been at the restaurant since the beginning, making all the chalk drawings and doing every odd-job that Carmine can't be bothered with. It's odd for a shiny Spinda to resolve himself to a life wearing a pair of coveralls and a cute little cap, but he seems to enjoy the work and has incredible mechanical skills. While his way of speaking can be non-sequitur and his tendency to suddenly appear disconcerting, he's a good-natured fellow with a big heart for the other employees. Reciprocating this friendliness might let you in on secrets about the staff, setting, or clientele.

[a id]staffchar[/a id]
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excuse me, garçon?


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Life has never been the same for B.T., the Rotom since he died. After a brief attempt to regain his memories, he dropped the subject to instead focus on settling the dissonance between his emotionless outward expression and his vicious inner monologue. While his ability to switch out of his typical light-bulb appearance and into other electronics has proven useful in his new job, his general lack of understanding on how organic beings operate and socialize have lead to many a stilted exchange. He is played by Ihsaan, and is represented with the Dairy (Cheese) icon.

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It's not a usual sight to see a literal child taking your order in a bourgeois bistro, but Bailey, the Ralts is not a usual boy. He provides contrast to his family's acclaim in the liberal arts by being deeply interested in science, specifically that which involves the biology of the strange, insentient creatures known as "Prey." Behind a permanent smile and a cartoonishly oversized bowtie is an intelligence far beyond that of his years, and while he makes an effort to come off as pleasant, some can't help but feel unsettled by the lad. He is played by Jauntier, and is represented with the Vegetable (Carrot) icon.

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Bred to be the latest iteration in a long line of impeccable butlers, Cadbury, the Linoone finds it necessary to hold his duties at the restaurant to a high standard. He is incredibly well-versed in etiquette and genteel, but may falter at times and come off as stuffy as his clothing choices; one wouldn't be far off in assuming that he's a bit bothered by the fact that he's "in-between masters." Unprofessionalism may inspire an odd streak of biting mental commentary, but he's more often than not polite, helpful, and prone to strategic compliments. He is played by Afterglow Ampharos, and is represented with the Grain (Bread) icon.

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She may go by many names - Dikeledi to her stern father, Qui-Qui to friends - but underneath all those monikers and a sea of eccentric clothing and make-up, lies one Daiquiri, the Salazzle. Her accent hints to an upbringing in a distant desert town, but her jargon draws from a plethora of sources ranging from her own imagination to a bygone human culture romanticized in her urban fashion magazines; the combination of which may confuse a stuffed shirt or two if they end up on the receiving end of her scathing wit. She is played by Your Daily Vitamins, and is represented with the Meat (Bacon) icon.

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Vissi D'Arte, the Primarina left her career as the lead singer of the Indigo Spots to discover herself. Her past is one spotted with illness and the feeling of being pitied, and while she does what she can to put it all behind her - from covering up her melancholy mood with overly theatrical dialogue to dressing up her already unique appearance as a shiny - it has molded her personality to one plagued by listless, conflicted desire. She may feel that she has never conveyed a true emotion, but the melodrama she brings is palpable. She is played by Ech, and is represented with the Fruit (Apple) icon.

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It's obvious that Jean-Georges, the Busboy grew up in an old-style colony; the genuine curiosity the Octillery has for his surroundings can't be described as anything other than childishly enthusiastic. He's unused to his body - having only recently evolved - and wears a standard Finer Things bowtie around his neck, albeit crooked. He's eager to impress and has a tendency to only vocalize in traditional cries; one gets the feeling that he's lonely, but his mood rarely drops below fervent optimism. He understandably has never used any of his moves, since he's a dedicated pacifist.

Spoiler:
[a id]guestchar[/a id]
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can i make a reservation?


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Aureole, the Military Scientist is a Shiinotic approaching her twilight years with dried, veiny skin and a cap reminiscent of a browning morel mushroom. Though she offsets her appearance with a set of deadstock chic hoop earrings and an opal bracelet-choker combo, her penchant for giving backhanded compliments only reinforces the idea that she's an embittered socialite that cheats during her weekly mahjong meeting; which she does. She drinks colorful varieties of liquor to lighten herself up, but that does nothing to alleviate her obsession with etiquette and visceral hatred of dirt.

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If the fiery flash of a camera suddenly engulfs your vision, you can bet you're the next topic of Claudette, the Journalist's gossip column. A tomboy in a pair of itchy plaid tweed slacks, she frequently snaps her suspenders and proudly totes a press pass in the headband of her fedora. Nobody would say the Stunky knows the definition of subtlety or what an "inside voice" is, and her passion for scribbling down "the scoop" has deteriorated her penmanship and ability to tell when someone else is speaking. The only kept thing about her is her magnificent hair quaff; evocative of Marilyn.

Spoiler:

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The iconic "Pink Lemonade"-colored aviator sunglasses worn by Delmonico, the Pianist are a marvel specially crafted to hold amphraosite in the bridge, but many prefer to dwell on how dreamy his beard is; marking how it curls at the end like an Egyptian postiche. He wears a playful and easygoing demeanor both onstage and off, but the melancholy of his tunes hold hints to a storied past that he skillfully avoids talking about. He walks with a limp, but many are too distracted by the tasteful yet sultry pieces of body art that comprise a tattoo sleeve on his tail to notice.

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Gramercy, the Curator may come off as blissfully pedantic, emanating oddity as he stands solely on his hind legs, but the art scene would be nothing without his sponsorship. He can't see well out of the magnifying glass he calls a monocle, so he trusts the green antennae he has shaped into a voluptuous handlebar mustache to do much of the work when he appraises. Being asked about his life might inspire the Vibrava to boast about his muddy treks across the world, though nowadays he wears a pristine red tuxedo jacket with black lapels and an intricately designed bolo tie encrusted with red jewels.

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Bloodshot eyes seem to have become Kreuther, the Nurse's calling card. Today is a rare occasion when the Kabutops doesn't work a fifteen-hour shift, but judging by her get-up - a navy blue floor-length dress covered first by a white apron and an armband indicative of the hospital and then by a collared cape - she wasn't expecting to be here. Her constant fidgeting implies discomfort, but since her eccentric mind is always a million miles away, don't expect a coherent answer if you ask her what's wrong. Some wonder how that nurse's cap stays so faithfully on her head, especially during one of her violent outbursts.

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There has never been a being so disturbingly unoffensive as Lincoln, the Groundskeeper. Since he became the cemetery's caretaker, he has been the victim of many rumors; not helped by nearby businesses who encourage such tales to boast him as a tourist attraction. To his credit, he's a unique Chandelure, who ditches the candle look for a gas light appearance and has more natural ornamentation dangling off his limbs than usual. He makes a habit of meticulously tending to his flowers, and is either indifferent or ambivalent towards having company; it's hard to tell, the man doesn't say much.

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The world of fashion moves too quickly for Morimoto, the Designer to find any time to sleep. It's a wonder why the Wurmple is so insecure and twitchy when his distinct avant-garde style is well-received by the public, but nonetheless he compensates by prominently displaying his forehead horn underneath his top hat: a tame choice for this event, accented well by a curling Baile Oricorio feather tucked into its headband. He always seems to be intensely staring at something right in front of him and is brutally incessant; viewing most people as unsympathetic, uncultured swines with no taste for true art.

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The life of Perry, the Lawyer has been marked with chronic illness, but the Barbaracle does what she can to cover up her condition; her bubbly personality will grab your attention if her cateye glasses don't, and one can barely see all the disgusting barnacles underneath her fur shawl and velvet arm warmers. Her dedication towards emulating a glamorous femme fatale would on any other woman of her status be en vogue, but on her seem clunky and overtly flirtatious. She can be seen pointing accusatory diamond-ringed fingers and struggling to walk in her stilettos or see past the fishnet veil coming out of her hat.

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Rivage, the Actress' curly, shiny mane still retains that bombshell style it did when it graced movie screens, although its light is fading. Her demure sensibility and approach to life allows the Rapidash to be nostalgic instead of upset that her glory days are over, but she does love proving that she can fit into that gray wool dress coat with black velvet and rhinestone accents that she popularized. She tires easily, often sitting down like a canine, and worries that her later life won't be exciting; to push off this fear, she buys lots of trinkets, like the crystal flower earrings she's wearing.

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It was Scarpetta, the Radio Personality's voice that landed him his job, because his resume was as unprofessional as he is. Most of his relationships fall apart due to his smug and entitled behavior, but that hasn't stopped people from loving him right down to his poofy pompadour. He's become somewhat of a leader for the local counterculture, inspiring him to throw on pants and a jacket made of black denim over his multicolored striped polo shirt, and lacing up in a pair of work boots to "stomp the haters." Dispositions aside, he's incredibly intelligent.

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Standing and weighing way beyond Super Size, Smith, the Judge's pronounced belly tilts his head back, and the Pumpkaboo resembles an ornamental pumpkin: mostly a healthy yellow color, but toting splotches of forest green and white bumps in-between crevices. He enjoys conversation and has a hearty chuckle - not that you can see his mouth moving past his impressive beard - but ultimately comes off as dimwitted. Some are unsure how he secured his profession, but he's hard to dislike; talented at maintaining positive relationships, and always up to hear a good story while he puffs his pipe.

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After Union, the Pilot figured out how to restart a few vehicles and a plane, he now monopolizes the travel industry, but years ago he was just three unevolved soldiers: Madison, who wears a black pilot cap decorated with badges of honor and has an itchy trigger finger; Square, the detail-orientated one in the brown fur aviator hat; and Parker, who unfortunately is covered in gauze and never opens his eyes past a squint. They all have red magnet hands with white tips, scratches and dents from battle, and speak from the same gung-ho and belligerent hivemind that never absorbed the fact that the war is over.

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Call her old-fashioned, but Westway, the Vintner loves matching the band on her straw boater to her collared ties; tonight's choice being her classic yellow-red-black striped one. It's odd someone so argumentative and opinionated tends towards lively colors, but maybe that's her fastidious side coming out; she's long kept a reputation for being organized and efficient. Perhaps has a tendency to rush and has trouble relaxing, but is certainly one of the most introspective and quick-witted snarkers in the city. She loves the outdoors, and the steely parts of her body are textured and slightly blanched from the sun.
[a id]worldloc[/a id]
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can i get a tour of the place?


Spoiler:

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The restaurant was converted from the old Wishmaker Church, boasting an attractive stonework Storefront and an ornate wooden entrance. The priests were known for their love of arboriculture, and long ago planted seeds that now stand beside the structure as picturesque autumn-colored Bell Tower trees. The well to the left of the building became a firepit for those who want to take advantage of the idyllic outdoor setting. Remains of gutted interior walls were repurposed as material for a garden path that travels through the pit area towards the front steps of the Patio Conservatory.

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The congregation now consists of wealthy clientele trying to get a table, and pews are lined up in the Foyer containing menus for them to leaf through as they wait. While the room has been accused of being excessively cold, it's beautifully decorated: rows of stain-glass windows transmute all varieties of light into intricate patterns, and the walls hold up memorabilia, accolades, and expensive knickknacks. Anyone hankering for chit-chat can utilize the two payphones hung up opposite the Coat Check and Office, or hit up the host standing behind a podium just right of the restaurant proper.

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A chalkboard on the right of the Coat Check no longer teaches psalms, and is instead used to note who submitted their fog jackets and synthetic furs to temporarily take up residence along four large clothes racks. The wall of cubbies in the back claims to be a Lost and Found, hiding its true nature as a hungry beast that draws all missing items into its maw: it has become a museum of abandoned tchotchkes, never to be returned to their owner. Those banished to work their shift here are urged to not touch anything as they stand behind a halved door and are forced to wear a green concierge hat.

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A locked door and the shadow of the Owner as they pass by the tinted window is all that you've been permitted to know about the Office. Rumors about it spring up whenever it's a slow day, which include but are certainly not limited to: it actually being an elevator to a lush underground hotel, where your boss performs unholy rituals to keep the business afloat, it being entirely constructed out of candy, etc. Chances are it's just a regular office, but that hasn't stopped all of the non-paycheck staff from participating in a betting pool to see who can get in and take a picture of the room first.

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All the real action takes place in the Dining Room to the sound of smooth jazz, the waiters trying to avoid smashing into the extensive salad bar and weave through crowds enjoying the vintage industrial atmosphere. Two spiral staircases lead up to a balcony that snakes around the perimeter of the room; the live entertainment usually stations themselves right above the bar where the organ pipes live. One could probably reach the hatch to the bell tower from up there, if it wasn't guarded by a Chandelure that hangs above the space acting as decoration and the restaurant's bouncer.

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Often bought out by private parties, the Patio Conservatory caters those who want a slower-paced experience underneath the stars and be pampered a little more than usual. Most of the flower arrangements and troughs of plantlife were purchased from a floral shop in Jubilee, and depending on your tastes, they have made the space smell either fragrant or disgusting; if you're of the latter opinion, sticks of cleansing incense are laid out on every table. Those scientific few among you should know that amid the wicker chairs is a telescope right next to the old-fashioned record player.

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The introduction of tufted brown leather furniture and well-loved ashtrays has transformed this small library into a quiet Cigar Lounge for esteemed businessmen to deliberate risky propositions. The lights are dimmed to a cordial gleam, providing plenty of shadows for staff to remain discreet as they deliver expensive smokes to intellectuals. It's pretty difficult to breathe in here if you're not used to the smell and thickness of the air, but the room can prove indispensable if you're looking for an antique book to read. Honored guests wait here and are served tapas instead of freezing in the Foyer.

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The Lavatories, sans an emergency chemical shower and eyewash station in each, are still original. While clean, the doors are prone to giving splinters and the faucets never provide anything above a begrudging tepid. There's the standard set of two: one for gentlemen and one for ladies, but those without biological sex can just use whatever they're comfortable with. Each one's the same, after all: with a row of stalls, sinks, mirrors, and a tiny restocking closet with a dirt floor. Attendants are sometimes stationed here, providing complimentary peppermints as you leave!

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All the shiny silver stoves and shelves makes the Kitchen a tight squeeze; the only way to navigate the room is through a disjointed one-person lane carved out betwixt all the equipment. It also wasn't renovated all that well, so the floor and ceiling threaten to cave in from water damage. Temperaments often spike during the lunch and dinner rushes, so if you find yourself in this cave of pots and ladles, be weary of flour avalanches and literal or emotional wounds. For convenience, food and order tickets should be placed near the stainless steel doors to the Dining Room.

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The small apricorn Orchard has added organic produce to the restaurant's inventory as well as make it an attractive location for wedding receptions and romantic moonlit walks. Within the adorable Johto-inspired gazebo in the center of the garden - which boasts an eclectic set of fruits and vegetables that customers are free to purchase - is an old projector that one can point into the darkness and imitate anything from stars to blinking fireflies. Many enjoy a cup of tea here while they try to reconnect with nature, which is oddly easy to do as all sounds of the city disappear when you get near the area.

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Behind the restaurant is the Back Alley, where employees dispose of waste in huge dumpsters and occasionally shoot the breeze over a cigarette. The adjacent buildings are mainly multi-family housing projects and other businesses, and the residents have taken to stringing up lanterns from windows and fire-escapes. The most interesting feature has to be the out-of-commission fountain that remains mounted in the middle of the alleyway, which people have fashioned into a makeshift shrine to the forgotten Wishmaker; leaving random baubles and dangling trinkets off it as offerings.

Spoiler:

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Electric lights were never installed down in the Wine Cellar so oil lamps are provided at the bottom of the stairs. It's a shame everything is covered in a fine layer of dust, because the place's labyrinthine design really speaks volumes of inspiration. It contains what you'd expect: bottles in racks, barrels, mixers, surplus deliveries, creaky floorboards, and a washing machine where the laundry shoot drops off. There's a hallway-like Mechanics room off to the side that contains the boiler and other important maintenance machinery. Some say it's haunted, even after the ghost-type squatters were forcibly evicted.

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Finding no purpose in keeping a series of old bedrooms in a restaurant, the Owner knocked down the walls to make room for a massive walk-in Cold Storage. The temperature only gets more frigid and harsh the farther you walk in, and it's easy to lose your footing as you try to navigate floors that would feel more at home inside a skating rink. In a rather callous display towards the history of the establishment, many relics and ancient artworks from the original church that weren't able to be pawned off or couldn't serve decorative purposes now lay forgotten here.


[a id]worldfaq[/a id]
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what are today's specials?


Spoiler:
[a id]fanart[/a id]
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can i get a doggy bag?


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By (auzdragun)

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By (derFisch)
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By (Ech)
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By (Foxrally)
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By (Jauntier)
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Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
Posts
12
Years
Sign-Ups will be open until 11:59 PM EST on March 13th, 2017.

Any works-in-progress posted to the thread that haven't been finished by this due date will have an additional day to be completed until discarded altogether.
 
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Greiger

A mad mind... hehe
2,016
Posts
12
Years
  • Age 33
  • Seen Oct 1, 2023
Just here to say that you finally opened it. You mad man. You're going places.
 

Ech

275
Posts
7
Years
  • Age 104
  • Seen Oct 30, 2018
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Appearance
As a member of the elusive Primarina species and born with a very rare coloration, Vissi's beauty is ethereal -- or as she likes to incessantly depict herself. She accentuates her confidence by embellishing her poise with cosmetics, and punctiliously strives to be a spectacle in front of any audience. She meticulously styles her persuadable hair into a beguiling bee hive and refuses to let anything ruin it; during her private moments, she will let her hair down and leave it unkempt to unwind. Her tail is mosaicked in alluring tights with its design evidently inspired by the Milotic species. Abiding by Finer Things' dress code, she dons a cuff around each of her fins and the near the end of her tail, all baring the bistro's themed colours. She secures her professional mien with a spiffy bow-tie constricted tightly around her neck in order to thin superfluous fat for extra appeal.

Alternatively, here is a visual depiction.



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Set List
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Sparkling Aria

Vissi's most prominent composition, a technique exclusive to Primarina; while the move's primary feat functions the same among members, it is commonly believed that each individual develops a musical variation of Sparkling Aria that is unique to themselves -- similar to how spotted patterns vary between Spinda. Orchestrating a refined musical on the spot, Vissi can gracefully form bodies of water by manipulating the moisture in the air within her proximity or alternatively expend some of her own body's water molecules; albeit, the latter runs the risk of severe dehydration. By maintaining a precise and consistent tune, she can construct and control luminous bubbles that are dexterous enough to function as hands to grasp and move most objects -- including herself as well as other Pokémon -- with very little issue. Vissi is so precise and diligent with her bubbles, she is miraculously able to carry strips of cloth without getting any of it wet. However, heavier weights require an excruciating amount of concentration and the guttural exertions can decimate her sensitive vocal chords. Vissi can only sing for so long and as Sparkling Aria can only be activated via voice, she can be utterly helpless with a sore throat.

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Growl

A demonstration of contralto, emulating a seductive purr as opposed to an intimidating growl. As its tune lacks in both volume and duration, the emission of sound is only strong enough to vibrate nearby liquids. Its primary function is to simply woo Pokémon, regardless of gender and species.

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Disarming Voice

A sensual serenade that tugs at the heartstrings of Pokémon. This melody directly affects the individual's emotional state, capable of altering their disposition by inducing hallucinations based on dormant memories; the effects drastically vary among individuals and targets who protect their hearing are immune. This song becomes more effective the closer the audience is to Vissi, and at its peak, it can even cause physical damage. That said, Vissi seldom performs this under the intent to actively harm others.

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Perish Song

An eldritch cacophony sung when Vissi is provoked and enters a state of extreme distress. This malicious musical inadvertently reveals the elegant Primarina's true nature, belying her enmity towards the world and spreading despair through a dulcet travesty of night terrors, experienced by those unfortunate enough to be present during this performance. This terrible mass and its notes were inherited by an unknown father.



"The Ugly Seel"

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Once upon a time, far away from the gentrification that promoted civilization, there lived a remote colony of pinniped Pokémon. Pods of Dewgong and Walrein and their young made their migration to somewhere aloof in the northern hemisphere. Seldom visited by voyagers, isolation left the colony ignorant of social conventions and none of them were able to emulate the same advancements and expeditions other Pokémon had made following the absence of man. Instead, families simply adhered to the rules of nature and never found themselves to expand on their primitive way of life beyond instinctive acts of self-preservation. This refusal was based on the lack of initiative as opposed to defiance, thus the unprecedented would occasionally be met with curiosity rather than immediate rejection.
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Such was the case for one nosy Dewgong, who went as "Doris". During an expedition, Doris and her mate embarked on a search for a suitable nest for her eggs, a peculiar discovery was found in the shape of a lonely egg, seemingly abandoned inside the ruins of a strange dome-shaped construct brimming with anomalies. This monument, its erector remaining forever unknown, was made almost entirely out of fleece and wooden pegs stubbornly held up its structure even during the most frigid squalls. The warmth provided inside felt superfluous for the Dewgong and her family, but its hospitality made it an adequate home. Its protection was also vital for safeguarding the egg Doris stumbled upon by sheer happenstance.
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A strange navy blue Seel with an exaggerated nose was adopted by the enthusiastic mother. Earning the birthname "Nereidy", this gentle soul inadvertently acceded the position as oldest of four by hatching prior to the arrival of her siblings -- there were a pair of brothers named "Nereido" and "Nereide", and a young sister by the name of "Nereida"; the names of Doris' children tragically followed an arbitrary tradition imposed by the father--basing them off his own name Nereus--who was as unimaginative as he was zany. Though Nereidy clearly had dominance as the elder child, her inability to adapt to the frigid waters as well as her family served as an extreme inhibition and she was subsequently given more attention over her siblings to compensate for her shortcomings. Her incompetence as both a swimmer and a hunter led to her becoming a pariah among the colony, and her special needs gradually wore out the entire family; it was especially overtaxing Doris who took her duties as mother far too seriously. Inadequacy inevitably led to insecurity, and this only aggravated Nereidy's health as she grew more and more ill as her body simply could not handle the relentless cold climate as well as the other Seel and Spheal. Imprisoned into a bed-ridden state, the blue Seel could only quietly lament through weeping over her meaningless existence and expressed nothing but contempt for the blank ice that burned to touch.
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But as time passed, the little blue Seel's morbid howls grew into a something quite unusual. Her pleads were driven by motivation, a newfound passion that translated itself as a ballad carried across the glacial seas and possibly helped give purpose to grasp onto a fading life. Her songs continued without end, day after day and night after night, seemingly having no conclusion and only temporarily disrupted by a few moments of slumber. Some found this inexplicable phenomenon eerily relaxing, others were irked by the incessant cries of an impaired child, but regardless of opinion, Nereidy was indeed heard. As if her endless ballads were a prayer finally being answered, Nereidy's voice lured in a traveling pod of Lapras. These Pokémon displayed a drastically different mien compared to the colony's feral ways, and after a rather clumsy introduction, these gentle giants made it clear they serviced the world beyond these frigid regions but had no ill intentions outside of simply fishing in the area. Merely charmed but also alarmed by the siren echoes that drew them there, they inquired on the phenomenon and were presented with a very ill Seel with an odd coloration. Awe was replaced by concern, as they believed this strange looking pinniped would surely not survive without proper medical treatment. They discussed urgent matters with the family, sharing tales of a foreign lands that seemed too unfathomable to imagine and made a crucial offer to assist a dying child. Though there was skepticism given the numerous holes and general improbability behind this hopeful panacea, desperation urged the stubborn mother to take extreme measures, and through some persuasion, she allowed the Lapras to take their adopted child on the terms they would also bring along her entire family; it was a controversial resolution that left a rift within the family despite Doris' good intentions of ensuring her daughter's well-being, and Nereus ultimately failed to oblige out of cowardice. The family had to face the harsh repercussions of leaving behind their comfortable feral lives in the colony as they ventured into a new world and into new lives.


"I Live For Art, I Live For Love"

DAILY REVOLUTIONARY TIMES

THE VALUE OF ARTISTRY,
OUR VISSI D'ARTE

.


Written by Cadbury the Chatot
----
The world first met the doe-eyed dolly known only as Vissi D'arte during one fateful live concert that served as the opening for a vocal group called The Indigo Spots. Her stage name derives from an arcane legend left behind our enigmatic predecessors, our Vissi preserves its essence through the universal endowment known only as beauty. After her successful first hit, Vissi D'Arte became the face for The Indigo Spots; her classy chassis was unrivaled by even the likes of Milotic and Lurantis and such figures became merely wet rags in comparison, and her autographs alone could sell for a generous fortune. With her fabulous display of unreal talent, as well as her ferocious passion for her craft, The Indigo Spots keep providing a constant variety of cool hits that all the frats frantically flip for and Vissi D'arte's influence paved a path that would forever revolutionize the music industry.
----
A quick introduction, as the founding members of The Indigo Spots include; Fawnie, a female Slurpuff who provides percussion with her Belly Drum; Ludwig, a male Kriketune known for his apple butter and responsible for handling the bass with his smooth, jazzy Bug Buzz; and lastly is the zany wild card, Mr. Blastburst, an overzealous Rhydon whose aptitude lies in handling various instruments for his jams. The group is managed by a garrulous Gabite named Grody, who holds a formidable reputation as a competent entrepreneur in spite of facing prejudice which depicts him as a vicious brigand.
----
Indeed, for years, The Indigo Spots have been making headlines, and their hot performances were always graced by the palpable grandeur of Vissi D'arte. This humble, fair maiden presents herself as a selfless emissary from the Heavens, providing the perfect example of beauty through standards through spectacle and etiquette. And in

spite of her overwhelming fame, she once confided to her fellow band members under a discretion to humble her own greatness even whilst her face was plastered throughout the streets to be hailed as a national symbol. Her modesty disallowed any room for travesty in her career as well as her social life, and these fair mannerisms only validates her status as a sensational icon, immaculate of any flaws, whose work served as a source of an inspiration that induces newfound drive for those aspiring for the Big Dream.
----
Prior to Vissi D'arte's debut, music was depicted as nothing more but a niche entertainment. Through simple deconstruction, music on its own is merely just nuances within a series of noises meticulously constructed into an abstract pattern, and its immediate lack of intrinsic value was understandably shunned by the conventional. That, and a community of freams and flakes with their over-inflated egos accompanied by misguided gigs earned the industry a poor reputation for show business. Which is why it's important to address the importance of music as not an expression of soul but an alternative, more effective form of communication. Just as how imagery helps conveys message through a universal language, the everlasting influence of music is potent enough to preserve the foundation of Pokémon society, which continues to grow gradually as our species discovers new methodologies and advancements.
----
Vissi D'arte has demonstrated the true potential of music, sharing her tragic anecdote as an ill waif who hails from faraway lands and details her ascension into divinity via an epic orchestrated through simple tune that all can commemorate to reflect upon for guidance, anywhere and anytime. Truly, we have been graced by the splendor that is our Vissi D'Arte along with the other members of The Indigo Spots.


The Train Wreck of February 4th,


-------
To Blast,

I usually don't write letters, so I want to apologize in advance if my writing looks like a youngling's scrawl but you understand how I am with these fins of mine -- I will try to enlarge my words so hopefully it will be more legible for you. Anyway, I am personally writing to you an apology I owe, and I will do so by providing my reasons for my official resignation from The Indigo Spots -- I refuse to notify that two-bit, back-stabbing piece of plastic we're obligated to address as Mr. Grody, our "grateful" manager, though you are free to give him my regards. I don't want to go on a tantrum and start venting when I really shouldn't as it's not in my place to do so, and it's especially inappropriate for this letter to be a jargon of pent up aggression after what I did to you.

Listen, I'm obviously stressed about what happened and a part of me knows you secretly blame me for completely ruining your career as a respectable musician, and I really do believe you have talent in spite of what everyone else says. I want you to understand that I truly do care for you, Blast. I'm no easy gal, so the moments we cherished together weren't all just some wild fling I jumped on through some ill impulse I may have had, please don't insinuate on irrational reasoning. While I admit, your demeanor is that of a typical ankle-biter's, you were the only one who ever showed any effort in getting to know who I am and how I really feel. But see, and this is the problem, I realize that I never knew how to feel about anything. After ruminating on my life as a pitiful fable written by some sadistic troglodyte who probably has their fair share of issues, invoking upon those hellish memories of when my family and I first arrived to this city, I came to realize that it's all a lie orchestrated for me. I've been living a lie, always told what I can be, always told what I'm able to do. I have acted like a helpless waif for so long, everyone instinctively provided me guidance out of pity, and I am sure all the advice and encouragement I've been given was nothing more but worry-warts patronizing me whenever I acted strange to them. This fame? It holds no intrinsic value to me, because I never truly earned it at all. The city was so desperate for inspiration that they brashly hailed me as their heroine to serve as the undying embodiment of determination, and I was practically weaponized to be a living proof that anyone can achieve the Big Dream through some menial hard-work. They conveniently ignore the fact that my life solely fed on nepotism structured through convoluted social networks I could never intimately relate to, and there are these arbitrary ultimatums that restricts everyone in show business to act as a complete fraud. I mean, everyone clearly hears me, yes, but it never feels like anyone can truly listen because nobody in the industry is allowing them the freedom to do so.

Do you know what I mean, Blast?

What I'm trying to say, in spite of my respect for you, the truth of the matter is that in the end, our relationship is a contrived pact I decided to affirm to because I was conditioned to like other Pocket Monsters through my delicate, if slightly unorthodox, upbringing. I had to be friendly, I had to work hard to be affable and civilized; my mother was a feral, and despite her efforts to learn the rules of conduct via literature, I honestly don't believe she ever truly grasped on what it takes to be civilized in such an unpredictable world. And society has proven to be quite hostile to foreigners, as evidently seen when they exaggerate on my family's foibles. Perhaps that's what motivated my mother to become one of those rights activists and properly educate others about the feral life through her published works. I, well, I at least respect the efforts she makes in her endeavors, and it was somehow more beneficial than fishing for our family's financial. I did mention that our family first arrived here with virtually nothing to our names?

Yet she tried, bless her heart, and ensured I could understand proper etiquette under the tutelage I was given by countless mentors, all who exercised patience as much as I had. I spent so long trying to hone my singing voice in hopes of earning profit for my dear mother; I faced rejection after rejection, procrastinating by aimlessly wandering about and constantly starting anew when I failed to achieve perfection. I honestly might have given up entirely, had it not been for this eccentric Kirlia I encountered who, the poor thing, tried desperately so hard to apply for these two shoddy outlets. Both these stores were so identical it felt like it was almost a deliberate gag. I reflected upon myself after seeing that amount of zeal from a pariah who seemed so tactless, and the whole moment inspired me to strive for my ambitions. There are so many people far worse than I, it just made no sense for me to shamelessly wallow as a defeatist. It also helped a lot, of course, that through sheer serendipity and coincidence I met Mr. Grody in one of those shops (I don't remember which one) and well, the rest is history as you know. Besides, I sacrificed so much just to redeem myself for being nothing more but an unattractive inconvenience who forced our entire family to migrate away from their native lands. Nereide never ceases to ostracize me, and I'm positive Nereida and Nereido despise me in private but I honestly don't care if I never obtain their respect considering they, like so many, never made any earnest attempt to understand me -- I suppose that's why I have such an affinity for you, as you're so open-minded and affable. Yet, unfortunately, these ties we enforced for so long have no merit for either of us in our careers and it's just holding us back from our real ambitions as artists -- let's not deny that you and I don't share the same ideologies or even abide on the same methodologies for music. I don't see the importance in socialization. I am a soloist at heart, and performing alongside a group honestly makes me feel uneasy in nature, especially since I never truly got a good impression of my fellow co-workers and that smarmy manager.

To simply put, I want to stray away from the false depictions made by this biased community and uncover something that holds substantially more worth for me as an individual. To refuse this pilgrimage is a disgraceful insult to my own calling, as my voice was the only thing I could use when cruel circumstance dictated my birthplace would be a frigid wasteland. That feeling of helplessness evoked something within me, it was a sensation that was beyond primal instinct. And I am certain that whatever this feeling was, it saved my life when my death was imminent. I live for music, and I can't allow myself to be manipulated by false creeds and allow the premonitions of others dictate my own future. I simply won't allow it. That is why I couldn't allow myself to use the overzealous piece you've wrote during our jam sessions, and that is why I want everyone to stop using my arias as some form of propaganda. We need to preserve some integrity, and this is certainly not the right way.

Look, Blast. I just want to sing, stand on my own and have the world perceive me the way I want it to. I want to get better without having others pitying me with mindless adulation nor do I want to meddle with others who clearly aren't as invested in their own career as I am.

By the time you receive this letter, I've most likely moved to another city, to start a new life once again -- this time, things will be different. Lil' Fawn mentioned that there's this adorable little bistro I could easily apply for, and the owners were apparently given a referral. I hope they don't hire me based strictly on the fact that I was a member of The Indigo Spots, as I feel like that's just going to put me back in the same predicament I had with the band. Still, I may be quitting music as a lucrative career, but evidently money is still something I require and I need to ensure I can manage this job so that I can properly pursue my dreams without any further hindrance. I'd like to believe I can be a bit of a factotum, as I did accumulate various skills over my life.

Listen, Blast. I hope there's no hard feelings. Maybe after things have settled down, you could drop by this place and we could get together

On second thought, it's best we don't meet again. I don't want to hold you back, and you're clearly passionate about your own work. You should really tone down your self-deprecating and fix your terrible propensity to procrastinate, okay?

PS. Despite declining it when it came to our last live concert, I really did like your serenade. I've always been an admirer of your work, you know?

Love, Vissi​


 
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Afterglow Ampharos

Ampharos are the ultimate kid's bed. They have a b
672
Posts
7
Years
Tsk, you fellows can't be serious for a moment, can you? And Finer Things was such a classy place, too. Such a shame.


Huh, so... The intrigue plot part of the game is totally gone, now? Or what am I to draw from its omittance from the OP, Kiyo?
 

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
Posts
12
Years
The intrigue plot part of the game is totally gone, now?
OP said:
Keep your reading comprehension skills about you though, there's more than meets the eye happening here tonight. You might overhear something or be pulled into the midst of an overarching plot that, when toyed with, could dramatically change the ending of this roleplay.

Keep your reading comprehension skills about you, Glowy.

It's just not actively named anymore. It still is very much there, and there will be hints on how to get involved in my GM posts.​
 

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
Posts
12
Years
in celebration of OTM's grand opening

Like mommy in the kitchen? ~

First post is a Fox Video, I'm already in love. Also, may have watched this periodically throughout the day.

You're going places.

idXb92W.gif

curse these incestuous sheets

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LOL you allowed WIPs, don't expect actual meat until the day of

be a shame if your background ends up terrible and you don't leave enough time for it to get workshopped

his bckstory

I agree, the "Wanna be like Daddy" mentality would fit weird on a present-day Cadbury if it continued over plain-jane from his childhood. The way we're raised does affect us greatly however, especially if we're taught to specialize in one thing. Service is all Cadbury knows and is good at; so looking at it purely from a practical standpoint - disregarding that he enjoys it to a certain extent - he's kinda stuck in the business, because he's already exceptional at what he does, has a proper network of connections, and as an adult needs to support himself and spend his time doing such instead of trying to pick up a new trade. So whatever he feels, it's his inescapable lot in life.

When picking out why he likes it though, there are several routes: I do like your Mother idea, since that gives him a little something personal, but consider what he gets out of being a servant. Maybe it's the feeling of being included in important settings, the idea of having a role there: not everyone gets to be in the sitting room where moneylenders and financial titans decide the fate of the economy, but he gets to be an active observer, if not participant as his master's trusted advisor. Perhaps he likes his position because he gets to play a bit of a puppetmaster, or thinks he is. Maybe he likes it because his intelligence, diligence, and technique get appreciated by someone undeniably more important than he is: he can work his way into someone's heart so deeply that their autobiography is dedicated him. Or he just feels lost trying to pursue anything else and easily gets fed up thinking about other careers. Maybe it's the only time in his life where he feels his actions matter.

Cadbury adopts the words of his father

He adopts these words, but how does he interpret them? How does he translate these words into actions, and how do these actions compare with his dad's?

Also, on second thought, where is his dad? Dead?

can indeed come off as stuffy at times

This was the most interesting part of this paragraph. I want to know about Cadbury: sure, he may have a few quotes he lives by, I have lots of great quotes I spit out too - but those are someone else's words, I want to know how they affect your character, and how often they slip up. Does he realize he's snobbish or is it tragic irony he has yet to come to terms with?

Cadbury is going to frame Finer Things as similar to a master

This sounds like he's using Finer Things as a surrogate ... maybe it'd be fun or interesting to say he's in the restaurant business because he's having trouble finding a new master? Like, he can't find one, and nobody needs one? So he projects his stern code of ethics and etiquette onto the bistro's guests even though they just want another glass of wine, thanks. That'd also give him more incentive to do well tonight; he can't afford to get fired or not make any money.

passed down through generations

You seem to focus a lot on cadbury's sense of tradition and manners. How does he react when he either falls into a pattern of losing these ideals or feels he's slipping up?

Note the loophole: opposite sex

tumblr_lwzihp1umh1qee6wmo1_r1_500.gif

you deliberately didn't hang up my sexy variation of fem lombardi

I don't want to scare away potential customers
 

Ihsaan

shinigami of the alfheim
108
Posts
8
Years
This is a WIP at the moment, I still have the Background to get to. I'll strike this through when I'm done.
Credits to Blinky for the incredible CSS, although she made it for my posts it does well as an SU too.
The Appearance can be read by hovering your mouse over the Rotom Sprite.
I welcome critique, of both the structuring of the form and the actual contents.

EDIT 1: Changed Prompt a bit. Edited Gender. Added more to Appearance.
EDIT 2: Added Backstory. Changed Prompt a little so that the work license is for the maintenance shop and not finer things. I changed Trick to Ominous Wind and ill just mention the move descriptions here till I figure out a way to cram everything into the CSS. Still working on the secret.
EDIT 3: Made the changes Kiyo and Glowy suggested as well as changing some grammar here and there.

Charge: B.T brings forth all the electrons in the air towards his body, storing charge and energy. He can also do this with any electrical device, effectively draining it of all charge. Charging regularly is a necessity for Bun.

Discharge: B.T releases all stored charge creating sparks of electricity that fly in every direction. He can control how much charge he releases at once. The more charge he releases, the stronger the electricity becomes.

Ominous Wind: Using his ghostly body, Bun conjures up a nefarious wind. This wind causes uneasiness in all that inhale it. Long exposure to the wind can cause hallucinations and it slowly damages the health of the affected Pokemon. Although it is not an electric type move, B.T loses charge due to the strain it puts on his body. Ever rarely, the satisfaction from seeing a particularly horrid person in a state of unease exhilarates Bun, augmenting his other moves. For example, this exhilaration can allow him to use the strongest form of Discharge with only 3/4ths of the required Charge.

Flash (Special Move): Depending on the appliance that B.T inhabits, this move changes. In the light bulb body that he frequents, using Flash would cause him to release all his charges in a brief blinding flash of light. However, it would be unfair to classify this as a separate move. It is more so a Rotom's ability to amplify the effects of a device. The power of the move depends completely on the device and the amount of charge Bun has stored up. Even with the best device and highest amount of charge, the move's power only goes up to 90. Also, even if the move that B.T 'learns' has a higher base power than 90, it would still be down scaled to the capacity of the device. For example, if he would possess a simple microwave oven, he would learn Heat Wave. As a microwave oven is a device of low wattage, it would only damage at a maximum of 40 Power. Also, the move he obtains depends completely on the device. Just because a device generates heat, he won't learn Flamethrower, the move has to involve something that the device is already able to do. TL;DR He can possess to use a device better than other Pokemon can.
http://cdn.wallpapersafari.com/76/79/TQxWe1.png');[/url] background-position: center; height: 600px; width: 850px; border-radius: 80px; box-shadow: 1px 1px 30px #81DAF5]
/**
* GENDER Genderless; He believes that he was male in his last life, so when presented with the question he answers so.
* MOVESET Charge, Discharge, Ominous Wind, Flash (Special move, changes according to forme)
/*
rotom-fan.png
Bun is a Rotom who has forsaken his original body and occupied a standard light bulb. The plasma that composes its body has filled the bulb, substituting the inert gas that had flowed through it prior. Due to the presence of the plasma, the bulb glows a bright bluish-white with visible sparks. It also produces a light crackling noise, which is accentuated when he speaks. The bulb is around three-quarters of a foot, larger than an average bulb but smaller than a regular Rotom. His eyes and mouth are positioned on the lower metallic portion of the bulb, so he tends to move with the metal facing upwards. A permanent smile remains affixed on his miniature face The metal itself is red, and of the same composition of the metal that makes a normal Rotom's body. The plasma surrounds the light bulb, creating blue, (a darker color than what is inside) ray-like appendages, similar to that of Rotom's standard form. His bowtie is not made of cloth, rather it is painted onto the neck of the bulb, above the metal. The paint is of a translucent nature, which enabled the light from the plasma to illuminate the black, green and white colors of the tiny bowtie. It looks perfect except for the slight blue tinge, but it is unnoticeable most of the time. When not in 'Finer Things' he inhabits a bulb lacking the paint job.
NAME -- Bun T. or B.T

BACKGROUND --

I. Prologue

Spoiler:


II. Awakening

Spoiler:


III. The Volt Killer

Spoiler:



IV. Jasper the Meowth

Spoiler:


V. Bertha the Magmar

Spoiler:


VI. New Beginnings

Spoiler:


PROMPT --

Spoiler:

 
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Ech

275
Posts
7
Years
  • Age 104
  • Seen Oct 30, 2018
I don't want to scare away potential customers

HAHAHA, ARE YOU MAKING THE ASSUMPTION THE CUSTOMERS ARE TRULY PURE INDIVIDUALS, GTFO, WORST GM EVER, LET ME USURP YOU ALREADY SO I CAN TURN THIS INTO MY ECCHI GIJINKA RP

This is a WIP at the moment

Your prompt response is legendary. I actually really enjoy how BT's personality is displayed through the prompt, and you also made Dr. Katz a fun to read without making him too distracting and subsequently overshadow BT. It's nice to read through since it helps me get a good idea of xis character because I just realized there is no actual personality section for Kiyo's sheet.

This is just a very minor nitpick, but I feel like the text color is kinda hard to read on that CSS. Maybe implement text shadow (or glow, if that's a real function here) that contrasts with the background color? (i think i am directing this to Disclosed)
 

Ihsaan

shinigami of the alfheim
108
Posts
8
Years
Your prompt response is legendary. I actually really enjoy how BT's personality is displayed through the prompt, and you also made Dr. Katz a fun to read without making him too distracting and subsequently overshadow BT. It's nice to read through since it helps me get a good idea of xis character because I just realized there is no actual personality section for Kiyo's sheet.

This is just a very minor nitpick, but I feel like the text color is kinda hard to read on that CSS. Maybe implement text shadow (or glow, if that's a real function here) that contrasts with the background color? (i think i am directing this to Disclosed)

Hey thanks man. Also, yeah I'll try changing some stuff around. I'll try doing it myself but if I can't I'll ask blinky.

(ALSO MY SKYPE ISN'T WORKING HALP)
 

Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
Posts
12
Years
I welcome critique, of both structuring and content

Let+s+get+down+to+business+to+out+bid+the+huns+did_4e90c2_4127537.jpg

Let's get down to business.


Oh, I see you went with "Bun T" instead of something like "Bunty." Can't wait to hear the specifics on this "Bun Tech" story in your background!


It feels like other details in your SU care to differ on the "doesn't care either way" thing? He makes the definite point that he's genderless in your prompt and being ignored when expressing this detail to Katz is one of the various annoyances that push him towards the edge of his sanity, I feel that someone who wouldn't care - as you've described - and gets labeled or is coded more "masculine" wouldn't make an effort to correct people. To boot, if he believes he was male in a past life, why wouldn't he just go by "he" instead of feeling the need to point out his new genderless body? If he's comfortable with being called a "he," and everyone refers to him as male regardless, why would he feel the need to make the distinction? I feel the reason behind that is missing.


Please remember to "describe their effect or how you might use them" in your final draft.

As for the special Flash/Miscellaneous move, especially after seeing how you incorporated it into your Prompt, I'm not sure I'm super okay with it. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore that you're utilizing the canon abilities of your species - that's not the problem - but the move transforming itself weaved into your narrative in a clunky manner, like ultimately it didn't matter that he had gained the ability to Uproar, so what was the point in referencing it? I also have trust in you not to abuse the feature and suddenly grant yourself devastating moves, but it borders on the same reasoning as to why I don't allow Ditto: everyone else is going to be interpreting the same set of four moves, while you can hop Bun T into any electrical thing you can find and give yourself a different move that speaks better or easier to the situation; it exercises unfairness, opens up possibility for misuse (however minor it may come,) and could be reminiscent to someone summoning an "infinity +1 sword," if you get my meaning.

You're free to counter me on this or provide compromising solutions, but I feel we'd be better off selecting a permanent move for your character.

APPEARANCE

I'm enamored with the light bulb/plasma globe model; It diversifies your Rotom while also being incredibly plausible to its lore, which gives me oodles of satisfaction. The fact that sparks fly whenever he talks and it crackles his voice in turn is a wonderful touch, and I love imagining it in action! Question, though: does this make him as tiny as a standard light bulb? Is he a little itty-bitty, or has he expanded the lightbulb to be as big as a standard rotom? I ask because that does dictate how well he can do his job, I feel.

The bowtie has a great interpretation here, I never would've imagined it being painted on but it totally fits with your metallic electric-type! The way you described it, though ... just to clarify, it's above his eyes and mouth? That's strange.


I highly disagree with Ech, I got way more characterization and personality out of Katz than I did B.T. in your prompt. While it does prove your ability to write chuckle-worthy comedy - as I did think Katz's propensity to completely not give a shit about B.T.'s answers and the quips about his body were hilarious - I feel like I learned barely anything about B.T. in comparison. The style you've written your prompt describes Katz in an objective manner rather than showing how B.T. perceives his shrink, and if the latter was your intention, the prompt certainly didn't cue the audience to be aware of that.

Katz is supposed to be a slow-witted tool that your character projects on, he is not supposed to be the driving force of the scene; which he quite clearly is in yours. Katz even gets a reveal at the end of your prompt, while it feels like the entire time B.T. is along for the ride. I urge you to not write your character so passively; while you do demonstrate an interesting contrast between B.T.'s outward manner (very robotic in approach) against his internal monologue (incensed, boisterous), I feel like there's not enough marriage between the two sides, neither weave into one another enough. If B.T. has so much control over his rage, why do I barely read about him suppressing it or trying to find ways to not lash out?

  • "thicker than a Tsareena"

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lol

  • "I would, however, appreciate it if you referred to me as B.T, that is if you do not want to be on the receiving end of an electrical incident."

Does he always threaten bodily harm when meeting new people, or?

This sticks out to me in a bad way, the human-setting version of this would read "I'd appreciate it if you'd call me Steve instead of Steven, or else I'll shank you" and there's no reference of B.T. saying this in jest, and it's passed over easily. I'll support a decision to make this a serious, straight-faced remark, but this is telling to a touchy, sensitive part of him that's never really expanded upon.

It seems to conflict with B.T.'s polite, teeth-gritting characterization later, especially when you write " but he did not say anything out of concern for his job security." If he's afraid of losing his new job, why would he first-and-foremost threaten the psychiatrist?

  • "Please, please, make yourself comfortable, don't be shy," the Whismur continued

Be aware of stuff like this, you more than once put periods in spots like this when there should be commas.

  • blissfully soundproof to the Rotom's comments

this is the kind of shit i live for

  • He did not like being interrupted. His filament flared to life, casting a bright blue over the shabby looking therapist's office. The humming noise that emerged from him increased in pitch.

I feel like the bolded sentence is telling me what B.T.'s like, when the very next sentence gets across that B.T. hates being interrupted in a much better way. The second/third sentence is the kind of stuff your prompt needs more of on B.T.'s side: characterized, showing action. Additionally, the next thing he says is "I do not appreciate being interrupted," so the bolded statement is now just redundant.

  • "feels like just yesterday I set my trusty Illumise, Lisa, free." "You have just confessed that you enslaved-" "Sorry for making you listen to an old man's fanciful whimsies, my dear Bun!"

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I'm done, serve me up, this line is the best thing since sliced bread.

  • He twirled his mustache triumphantly as he slid a piece of grubby paper across the desk, along with a blue fountain pen.

See, this is the kind of detail and demonstrative behavior I want to see out of B.T.

  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

CSS Note: the longness of this "word" pushes your whole box waaaaay to the right, it'd look better if you fixed it.

  • "I'm genderless." "That option is not accepted."

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  • "You are PIKACHU! You are round, short and stocky; but you are very cute and adorable. People like you a lot. You're more interested in mind games."

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  • "Are you a certified psychologist? If so, what second-rate university did you attend?"

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Savage.

  • IS THIS WHAT FEAR IS. IT IS STRANGE FEELING BOTH RAGE AND SOMETHING SO CONTRARY TO IT.

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  • But, as you were only 'born' a month ago, there's no issue.

Wait, is this Katz not paying attention to the "two years old" thing or a discrepancy?​
 

Afterglow Ampharos

Ampharos are the ultimate kid's bed. They have a b
672
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I agree, the "Wanna be like Daddy" mentality would fit weird on a present-day Cadbury if it continued over plain-jane from his childhood. The way we're raised does affect us greatly however, especially if we're taught to specialize in one thing. Service is all Cadbury knows and is good at; so looking at it purely from a practical standpoint - disregarding that he enjoys it to a certain extent - he's kinda stuck in the business, because he's already exceptional at what he does, has a proper network of connections, and as an adult needs to support himself and spend his time doing such instead of trying to pick up a new trade. So whatever he feels, it's his inescapable lot in life.

When picking out why he likes it though, there are several routes: I do like your Mother idea, since that gives him a little something personal, but consider what he gets out of being a servant. Maybe it's the feeling of being included in important settings, the idea of having a role there: not everyone gets to be in the sitting room where moneylenders and financial titans decide the fate of the economy, but he gets to be an active observer, if not participant as his master's trusted advisor. Perhaps he likes his position because he gets to play a bit of a puppetmaster, or thinks he is. Maybe he likes it because his intelligence, diligence, and technique get appreciated by someone undeniably more important than he is: he can work his way into someone's heart so deeply that their autobiography is dedicated him. Or he just feels lost trying to pursue anything else and easily gets fed up thinking about other careers. Maybe it's the only time in his life where he feels his actions matter.

I like your suggestions about the feeling of being included, and especially because those positive qualities he's shaped in himself (that you listed already) get appreciated by someone more important. That sounds very Cadbury. We all like to feel smart and appreciated someone who is supposedly better than us, and Cadbury probably desires this more than others, given that he's never had a rebel-against-authority phase in his life.

Is that something I should include instead of, or in addition to, a troubled mother?

Man Kiyo, you're awesome with these suggestions and these thought provoking questions, you know that? I don't know how you come up with this stuff!

Who's Kiyo? said:
He adopts these words, but how does he interpret them? How does he translate these words into actions, and how do these actions compare with his dad's?

Also, on second thought, where is his dad? Dead?

Translate into action, huh... I suppose he would allow himself to be comfortable within his job (in contrast to being stiff and uptight about it), so that the guests can see and feel that ease about him and also feel comfortable themselves.

If I had to say for certain, Cassius Cadbury is probably a House Steward by this point in his life. Responsible for all purchasing, hiring, firing and paying the servant staff in a mansion somewhere in the city.

Who's Kiyo? said:
This [can come off as stuffy] was the most interesting part of this paragraph. I want to know about Cadbury: sure, he may have a few quotes he lives by, I have lots of great quotes I spit out too - but those are someone else's words, I want to know how they affect your character, and how often they slip up. Does he realize he's snobbish or is it tragic irony he has yet to come to terms with?

Oh that's certainly something he's not come to terms with yet. Basically there's two ways this snobby thing can play out: One, he's around some rich/famous people who are snobby themselves, and he becomes a mirror, adopting their mannerisms subconsciously to fit into the group, to be accepted. Two, he's around people who are much less cultured than he is, and he comes off snobby in comparison, with all his drilled-in rules of etiquette. Prime example: If you know certain rules of etiquette but someone does not, it is rude and inappropriate to advise them and make them feel uncomfortable. But Cadbury probably does this anyway. Because how else are they going to learn, right??

Who's Kiyo? said:
This sounds like he's using Finer Things as a surrogate ... maybe it'd be fun or interesting to say he's in the restaurant business because he's having trouble finding a new master? Like, he can't find one, and nobody needs one? So he projects his stern code of ethics and etiquette onto the bistro's guests even though they just want another glass of wine, thanks. That'd also give him more incentive to do well tonight; he can't afford to get fired or not make any money.

Perfect!
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That bit about the glass of wine got quite a laugh from me, btw.

Who's Kiyo? said:
You seem to focus a lot on cadbury's sense of tradition and manners. How does he react when he either falls into a pattern of losing these ideals or feels he's slipping up?

Under good circumstances, he would apologize for his unprofessional behaviour and excuse himself. But if something's driven him to slip up and act unprofessional by making him upset, he may act defensive, explaining why he was justified in doing whatever he did that was tactless or against tradition.

Ok, I'm going to work on figuring out which sections I can add this info to in the SU and how to do it in a way that flows.
Edit: Done! But... I can't find a good place to put news about what Cadbury's father is doing today. :/
 
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Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
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include instead of/in addition to a troubled mother?

I'm glad you liked my suggestions! I feel like the mother is a weird detail to overlook in a child's life, and I suppose it can only add to Cadbury's character if you do, right?

Man Kiyo, you're awesome with these suggestions, you know that?

2.gif

Stooooop, I'm only rambling. I think my motto is: "how can I make this more difficult for my character? How can I challenge them?" when coming up with ideas, if that helps.

I can't find a good place to put news about what Cadbury's father is doing today

Eh, you can always bring it up IC if you're accepted.​
 

Afterglow Ampharos

Ampharos are the ultimate kid's bed. They have a b
672
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7
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I feel like the mother is a weird detail to overlook in a child's life, and I suppose it can only add to Cadbury's character if you do, right?

Ah, no, I meant, should I give her a mental illness that Cadbury had to help her out with, or should I leave the two of them vaguely "not close" as described in the answers I gave to your "interview." If the latter, the business with being included, important, and acknowledged would be his "sole" reasons for enjoying his serving (aside from being reared that way).
 

Ihsaan

shinigami of the alfheim
108
Posts
8
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First and foremost all the grammar errors/redundancies I'll be fixing.


It feels like other details in your SU care to differ on the "doesn't care either way" thing? He makes the definite point that he's genderless in your prompt and being ignored when expressing this detail to Katz is one of the various annoyances that push him towards the edge of his sanity, I feel that someone who wouldn't care - as you've described - and gets labeled or is coded more "masculine" wouldn't make an effort to correct people. To boot, if he believes he was male in a past life, why wouldn't he just go by "he" instead of feeling the need to point out his new genderless body? If he's comfortable with being called a "he," and everyone refers to him as male regardless, why would he feel the need to make the distinction? I feel the reason behind that is missing.



He isn't angry at the fact he's being mis-labelled. He's angry at the fact that the details for this supposed 'serious psychiatric evaluation' are not being inputted correctly. He wouldn't care if someone called him a she or a they in regular conversation, but he feels it is necessary to provide the accurate deetz in the details. It would be akin to someone calling me Grelzar in the forums and me not caring. But I would be kinda confused if someone filled up an official form with that name. Now this is what I initially believed, but on hindsight saying "he does not care" is inaccurate. Tbh, I might just go ahead and make him identify as male, although him getting angry is entertaining, I agree; it would get confusing.

Please remember to "describe their effect or how you might use them" in your final draft.

As for the special Flash/Miscellaneous move, especially after seeing how you incorporated it into your Prompt, I'm not sure I'm super okay with it. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore that you're utilizing the canon abilities of your species - that's not the problem - but the move transforming itself weaved into your narrative in a clunky manner, like ultimately it didn't matter that he had gained the ability to Uproar, so what was the point in referencing it? I also have trust in you not to abuse the feature and suddenly grant yourself devastating moves, but it borders on the same reasoning as to why I don't allow Ditto: everyone else is going to be interpreting the same set of four moves, while you can hop Bun T into any electrical thing you can find and give yourself a different move that speaks better or easier to the situation; it exercises unfairness, opens up possibility for misuse (however minor it may come,) and could be reminiscent to someone summoning an "infinity +1 sword," if you get my meaning.

You're free to counter me on this or provide compromising solutions, but I feel we'd be better off selecting a permanent move for your character.

The reason I decided to mention it in the narrative was so that people could understand how exactly the 'special move' would work. Also, it's not like it did nothing. His voice did get more louder, which is something that Uproar does. On the topic of me being able to choose any move for the situation, look at it like this. Even if I remove the 'special move', B.T would still be able to hop in and out of appliances no trouble. Yes, I do understand that moves are different from just possessing the appliance, but I intend to make it so that I won't push the boundaries of the appliance too far. I can limit myself to 90 base power, would that be OK? Also, you will not find unrealistic moves being used. I will not use Blizzard when inside a simple refrigerator (even though that's what the games say lol) or Flamethrower when in a microwave. I would also not be able to conjure up an appliance for any situation. Think about it, say a situation arose in which heat is required, B.T would need to possess a microwave or a stove. However, would Lombardi allow him? How many devices would be present in the restaurant anyways? While a writer for a Ditto character can say:

"He walked out and saw a Tyranitar taking a stroll, so he transformed into it. The Tyranitar knows, Hyper Beam, Giga Impact, Earthquake and Draco Meteor."

I can't say:

"B.T happened to find a Death Ray™ on the ground, so he possessed it. He now knows Hyper Beam."

Also, if the device is so essential to helping in that particular situation, the other employees can just pick it up and use it. Yes, B.T can amplify its effects, but as I said, not by too much.

I'm enamored with the light bulb/plasma globe model; It diversifies your Rotom while also being incredibly plausible to its lore, which gives me oodles of satisfaction. The fact that sparks fly whenever he talks and it crackles his voice in turn is a wonderful touch, and I love imagining it in action! Question, though: does this make him as tiny as a standard light bulb? Is he a little itty-bitty, or has he expanded the lightbulb to be as big as a standard rotom? I ask because that does dictate how well he can do his job, I feel.

The bowtie has a great interpretation here, I never would've imagined it being painted on but it totally fits with your metallic electric-type! The way you described it, though ... just to clarify, it's above his eyes and mouth? That's strange.

A normal Rotom is only a foot long. I'm imagining B.T to be only half a foot, and I'll mention that in the Appearance. Rotom is frquently shown to be able to manipulate the characteristics of things it possesses, so I could make him a bit larger than half a foot as well, I don't want an enormous bulb though. Him lifting things up shouldn't be an issue. In the anime, Ghost-type Pokemon are frequently shown to not give a shit about physics. I'm not saying he has no limits. I just imagine that an incorporeal being would be able to carry a tray with food on it easily enough. If you need another reason, I say his ability, levitate. On the bow tie 'issue'

"..he tends to move with the metal facing upwards,"

FUCKING LEARN HOW TO READ KIYO

I highly disagree with Ech, I got way more characterization and personality out of Katz than I did B.T. in your prompt. While it does prove your ability to write chuckle-worthy comedy - as I did think Katz's propensity to completely not give a shit about B.T.'s answers and the quips about his body were hilarious - I feel like I learned barely anything about B.T. in comparison. The style you've written your prompt describes Katz in an objective manner rather than showing how B.T. perceives his shrink, and if the latter was your intention, the prompt certainly didn't cue the audience to be aware of that.

Katz is supposed to be a slow-witted tool that your character projects on, he is not supposed to be the driving force of the scene; which he quite clearly is in yours. Katz even gets a reveal at the end of your prompt, while it feels like the entire time B.T. is along for the ride. I urge you to not write your character so passively; while you do demonstrate an interesting contrast between B.T.'s outward manner (very robotic in approach) against his internal monologue (incensed, boisterous), I feel like there's not enough marriage between the two sides, neither weave into one another enough. If B.T. has so much control over his rage, why do I barely read about him suppressing it or trying to find ways to not lash out?

I will add more instances of B.T perceiving things. Initially, I wanted his mind to be mainly a cesspool of emotions that he cannot express, but now it is obvious to me that I need to write more about his observations. I'll try and sprinkle more of B.T's personality in there, but I do not think I will be changing Katz.

This is something I was going to address in my backstory, but why the heck not. I'm making it so that B.T cannot express emotions. For some reason, he was 'born like that'. I initially wanted every single Rotom to be like that, but looking at Sun and Moon's Rotom-dex it is obviously not the case. I'll explain more of it in the backstory, no worries. So no, he does not have control over his rage. In fact, it is the very opposite. He wants to express his rage but he cannot. I think I will use that to a larger extent.

Does he always threaten bodily harm when meeting new people, or?

This sticks out to me in a bad way, the human-setting version of this would read "I'd appreciate it if you'd call me Steve instead of Steven, or else I'll shank you" and there's no reference of B.T. saying this in jest, and it's passed over easily. I'll support a decision to make this a serious, straight-faced remark, but this is telling to a touchy, sensitive part of him that's never really expanded upon.

It seems to conflict with B.T.'s polite, teeth-gritting characterization later, especially when you write " but he did not say anything out of concern for his job security." If he's afraid of losing his new job, why would he first-and-foremost threaten the psychiatrist?

Yes, that was awfully dumb of me. I meant to put that in his mind, but oh well.

Wait, is this Katz not paying attention to the "two years old" thing or a discrepancy?

This interview takes place right at the beginning of his 'life after death'. It'll be explained in the backstory.
(none of the quotes posts are right)
(thanks for all the compliments btw, :3)​
 
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Who's Kiyo?

puking rainbows
3,229
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He isn't angry he's being mis-labelled

Oh, I see. I agree, it'd probably not be contradictory and easier if you just made him fully identify as male. It felt like he was making a point of it, and there's a difference in saying "I'm genderless" and "well, I'm technically genderless, but identify as male." You can still have the element of gender neutrality, it just has to be justified if he goes out of his way to mention it or identifies as such over his outwardly masculine appearance.

which is something that Uproar does

not-bad.gif

M'kay, I'll buy it. It still kinda looks hamfisted into the narrative and I can see the "gotten louder" effect occurring without the move shift, but whatever, I just don't want you to feel like you're stuck with something the reads token and gimmicky. I'm totally on board with your being able to possesses electronics, regardless! If you pushed the plausible boundaries too much I'd just let you know.

The limitation of 90 base power or less sounds fair enough, and you are selling me on the concept of "he's just amplifying the appliance's functions;" that he's pushing the actual appliance itself, that could lead to some interesting chaos if I decide to throw a writing challenge at you.

would Lombardi allow him?

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that is just something you'll have to find out for yourself ;)

manipulate the characteristics of things

If it were me I'd put him at the typical foot height via manipulation, since half a foot sounds too-too small maybe, but then again that's just me and there are plenty of Pokemon that go smaller. Your argument is good on the levitating.

FUCKING LEARN HOW TO READ KIYO

UR BANNED NOAW

oooooo I thought this meant he was doing this weird pelvic thrust thing. Him operating upside-down totally makes sense.

but I do not think I will be changing Katz

You don't have to! But there's a major difference between just writing character descriptors and writing descriptors through the eyes of a main character. Often describing how a character perceives people can tell a lot about who they, as the observer, are.

I'm making it so that B.T cannot express emotions. For some reason, he was 'born like that'

Huh, how Spock of you. Very "And I Must Scream" evocative, could be interesting. I look forward to hearing your justifications, it'll probably make your prompt make more contextual sense to me.

thanks for all the compliments btw, :3

Thank you for listening and responding in turn! I can't wait to see the edited version. :)​
 
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