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I like so-and-so, but I respect such-and-such.

Alexander Nicholi

Alexander Nicholi

what do you know about computing?
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In human society, most of us seek to be liked and respected by their peers, correct? Well, more often than not the best of people have to choose between the two, meaning it is incredibly difficult to be both.

Would you prefer to be liked, or rather respected? How so? Do you usually stick to respectable/respected people, or likable/well-liked folks? Do you have a general preference between the two?
 

LoudSilence

more like uncommon sense
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  • Age 35
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  • Seen Aug 7, 2016
Erm...I'm not sure how the two even remotely clash, sorry. Why is it difficult?

People are usually respected because of likable qualities, I would think. A lot of people I like I respect, and vice versa.
 
Melody

Melody

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Respect is a totally different frame of mind from liking someone.

I can respect you, but still strongly disagree with you on many things without a lot of messy cognitive dissonance.

Liking somebody however involves a fair bit of emotional sentiment, which tends to muddy the waters and make for some cognitive dissonance when you disagree with them. It just feels wrong to do so for some people, and some people are simply not going to put up with this sort of dissonance, and thus may choose not to like someone even if they respect them.
 
Raine

Raine

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Melody said:
Respect is a totally different frame of mind from liking someone.

I can respect you, but still strongly disagree with you on many things without a lot of messy cognitive dissonance.

Liking somebody however involves a fair bit of emotional sentiment, which tends to muddy the waters and make for some cognitive dissonance when you disagree with them. It just feels wrong to do so for some people, and some people are simply not going to put up with this sort of dissonance, and thus may choose not to like someone even if they respect them.
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Not only can you respect them, but you could also dislike their whole character and personality together thus the person in general. Respecting others to me means knowing their values and beliefs and understanding them, not necessarily agreeing nor disagreeing. There's plenty of people whom I respect such as my professors, authority figures, etc., but does not necessarily mean I "like" them in the way that it's definition describes.
 

Shhmew

♥
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Hrmm. I think I would rather be respected.

If someone doesn't like me, that's their own preference and it doesn't cause any issues. However, when someone doesn't respect me, it can lead to them treating me poorly and not caring about my feelings. That's when it starts to bother me.

There's plenty of people I don't like but I still respect enough to treat them the same as anyone else.
 
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