Hypocrates
shampain
- 72
- Posts
- 10
- Years
- Ireland
- Seen Jan 9, 2017
"Rose... I've been meaning to say something to you for a while now...Rose, I...I... --"
Huh? It was just a dream? Today...today, I'll tell her how I feel....
A boy was awoken by the pitter-patter of rain against his window. The boy was Jake, he was tall and he had messy brown hair, that stuck up in all directions, and kind green eyes. He had soft lips and rosy cheeks. He looked out of the window and he saw the faint reflection of a boy with rough, unkempt locks and deep green eyes staring back. I need a haircut. He sat up in his bed and inspected his room; a white wall behind him was filled with posters from his favourite anime, a freshly painted green wall to his left and also to the right. The wall in front of him had a notice board hammered onto it that hung above his desk which was sprinkled with homework assignments and books. There were pictures of his friends and of fun times he had shared with them all on the notice board. But one girl was present in every photo – Rose. They had been friends since they were two years old. They were like siblings and Len was always looking out for Rose, not because she was like a sister to him, but because he felt something for her. He couldn't describe it. Was it love? He didn't know. How would he? He was only seventeen years old. He only had eyes for Rose so he didn't know what a crush felt like. What would he know about that forbidden emotion which was hard enough for an adult to comprehend? That emotion they called love.
He threw the blue duvet off of his muscular frame and picked up some clothes off of the floor. Jake's eyes flickered to the green alarm clock that sat upon his white bedside locker as he pulled a green and white t-shirt on over his head. Damn, I'll be late again. He looked out of the window. The rain is getting heavier. I hope she's smart enough to wait inside today. Jake grabbed his car keys from the bedside locker and ran out of his bedroom door. He passed a table filled with pictures of his late parents and Rose's too. He glanced at them and frowned. Len and Rose's parents died in a car crash three years ago. They were both nearly put in a children's home, but his brother had graduated college and got a job stable enough to support them. Len ran downstairs, through the patio and out to his little silver car. He lived with Rose and his brother - Dirk. When he had graduated from college three years ago, he got a job as a teacher in a local school. He was working today. Dirk shouldn't be back until lunchtime so Rose and I will have a free house to enjoy when we get back. I'll tell her then....I have to. Jake opened the door of the little vehicle and plonked down into the seat. His car was twelve years old, but it was in great condition so he never had any trouble with it. He grabbed a plum coloured umbrella from the back seat and placed it on the passenger's seat. He put his keys in the ignition and sped down the road, through the town and towards the swimming pool. He swerved at every corner, nearly toppling over in a few case's. Sorry Rose, I promise I won't be late again. Will you please forgive me...?
"I hope." Jake said in a hopeful tone, though his voice was shaky so he didn't sound confident at all.
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C&C please! This is my first fic so I just want to know how I can improve it and make it an enjoyable read. I may/may not continue with this, I really just want to see how people react to my writing if I'm honest. //not related to Homestuck by the way//
Huh? It was just a dream? Today...today, I'll tell her how I feel....
A boy was awoken by the pitter-patter of rain against his window. The boy was Jake, he was tall and he had messy brown hair, that stuck up in all directions, and kind green eyes. He had soft lips and rosy cheeks. He looked out of the window and he saw the faint reflection of a boy with rough, unkempt locks and deep green eyes staring back. I need a haircut. He sat up in his bed and inspected his room; a white wall behind him was filled with posters from his favourite anime, a freshly painted green wall to his left and also to the right. The wall in front of him had a notice board hammered onto it that hung above his desk which was sprinkled with homework assignments and books. There were pictures of his friends and of fun times he had shared with them all on the notice board. But one girl was present in every photo – Rose. They had been friends since they were two years old. They were like siblings and Len was always looking out for Rose, not because she was like a sister to him, but because he felt something for her. He couldn't describe it. Was it love? He didn't know. How would he? He was only seventeen years old. He only had eyes for Rose so he didn't know what a crush felt like. What would he know about that forbidden emotion which was hard enough for an adult to comprehend? That emotion they called love.
He threw the blue duvet off of his muscular frame and picked up some clothes off of the floor. Jake's eyes flickered to the green alarm clock that sat upon his white bedside locker as he pulled a green and white t-shirt on over his head. Damn, I'll be late again. He looked out of the window. The rain is getting heavier. I hope she's smart enough to wait inside today. Jake grabbed his car keys from the bedside locker and ran out of his bedroom door. He passed a table filled with pictures of his late parents and Rose's too. He glanced at them and frowned. Len and Rose's parents died in a car crash three years ago. They were both nearly put in a children's home, but his brother had graduated college and got a job stable enough to support them. Len ran downstairs, through the patio and out to his little silver car. He lived with Rose and his brother - Dirk. When he had graduated from college three years ago, he got a job as a teacher in a local school. He was working today. Dirk shouldn't be back until lunchtime so Rose and I will have a free house to enjoy when we get back. I'll tell her then....I have to. Jake opened the door of the little vehicle and plonked down into the seat. His car was twelve years old, but it was in great condition so he never had any trouble with it. He grabbed a plum coloured umbrella from the back seat and placed it on the passenger's seat. He put his keys in the ignition and sped down the road, through the town and towards the swimming pool. He swerved at every corner, nearly toppling over in a few case's. Sorry Rose, I promise I won't be late again. Will you please forgive me...?
"I hope." Jake said in a hopeful tone, though his voice was shaky so he didn't sound confident at all.
________________
C&C please! This is my first fic so I just want to know how I can improve it and make it an enjoyable read. I may/may not continue with this, I really just want to see how people react to my writing if I'm honest. //not related to Homestuck by the way//