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-   -   Poke Special Manga: DP (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=109822)

TurtleKing September 30th, 2007 10:06 AM

Categories: Manga, Original
Rating: PG13
Based on: Poke' Special Manga/Pokemon Adventures. This type of fanfic will be similar to that of the Poke' Special Manga/Pokemon Adventures. Meaning that it has some violence, romance, etc.

NOTICE: This is NOT a novelization of the original Pokemon Special: Diamond and Pearl. It's MY OWN VERSION of it.


Volume 1
1. VS. Staravia!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani397.gif
2. VS. Chimchar!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani390.gif
3. VS. Drapion!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani452.gif
4. VS. Stunky!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani434.gif
5. VS. Kricketune!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani402.gif
6. VS. Golbat!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani042.gif
7. VS. Carnivine!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani455.gif
8. VS. Skuntank!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani435.gif
9. VS. Rampardos!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani409.gif

Volume 2
10. VS. Drifloon!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani425.gif
11.VS. Purugly!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani432.gif
12. VS. Burmy!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani412.gif
13. VS. Chatot!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani441.gif
14. VS. Torterra!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani389.gif
15. VS. Roserade!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani407.gif
16. VS. Rhyperior! Pt. 1http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani464.gif
17. VS. Rhyperior! Pt. 2http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani464.gif
18. VS. Mamoswine!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani473.gif
19. VS. Froslass!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani478.gif
20. VS. Typhlosion!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani157.gif

Volume 3
21. VS. Murkrow and Misdreavus! Pt. 1http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani198.gifhttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani200.gif
22. VS. Honchkrow and Mismagius! Pt. 2http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani430.gifhttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani429.gif
23. VS. Spiritomb!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani442.gif
24. VS. Psyducks!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani054.gifhttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani054.gifhttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani054.gifhttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani054.gif
25. VS. Machamphttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani068.gif
26. VS. Croagunk!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani453.gif
27. VS. Lucario!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani448.gif
28. VS. Toxicroak! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani454.gif
29. VS. Bibarel! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani400.gif
30. VS. Yanma! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani193.gif
31. VS. Floatzel! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani419.gif
32. VS. Jynx! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani124.gif
33. VS. Glameow! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani431.gif
34. VS. Skorupi! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani451.gif
35. VS. Weavile! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani461.gif
36. VS. Combee! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani415.gif

Volume 4
37. VS. Unowns! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani201.gif
38. VS. Psyducks II! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani054.gifhttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani054.gifhttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani054.gifhttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani054.gif
39. VS. Ninjask! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani291.gif
40. VS. Gliscor! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani472.gif
41. VS. Drifblim! Pt. 1 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani426.gif
42. VS. Drifblim! Pt. 2 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani426.gif
43. VS. Hippowdon! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani450.gif
44. VS. Alakazam! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani065.gif
45. VS. Bastiodon! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani411.gif
46. VS. Lucario II! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani448.gif
47. VS. Lucario III! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani448.gif
48. VS. Lucario IV! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani448.gif
49. VS. Toxicroak II! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani454.gif
50. VS. Purugly II! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani432.gif

Volume 5
51. VS. Abomasnow! Pt. 1 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani460.gif
52. VS. Abomasnow! Pt. 2 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani460.gif
53. VS. Abomasnow! Pt. 3 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani460.gif
54. VS. Weavile! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani461.gif
55. VS. Glaceon! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani471.gif
56. VS. Regice! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani378.gif
57. VS. Skuntank II! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani435.gif
58. VS. Dusknoir! Pt. 1 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani477.gif
59. VS. Dusknoir! Pt. 2 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani477.gif
60. VS. Absol and Vespiquen! Pt. 1 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani359.gifhttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani416.gif
61. VS. Absol and Vespiquen! Pt. 2 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani359.gifhttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani416.gif
62. VS. Staraptor! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani398.gif

Volume 6
63. VS. Froslass II! Pt. 1 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani478.gif
64. VS. Froslass II! Pt. 2 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani478.gif
65. VS. Floatzel II! Pt. 1 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani419.gif
66. VS. Floatzel II! Pt. 2 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani419.gif
67. VS. Abomasnow II! Pt. 1 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani460.gif
68. VS. Abomasnow II! Pt. 2 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani460.gif
69. VS. Dialga! Pt. 1 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani483.gif
70. VS. Dialga! Pt. 2 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani483.gif
71. VS. Mamoswine II! Pt. 1 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani473.gif
72. VS. Mamoswine II! Pt. 2 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpiconani/dpiconani473.gif

Volume 7

Volume 8

Volume 9


The Official Site of Poke' Special Manga: DP


Chapter 1/Prologue: VS. Staravia http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa397.png

It is a beautiful, bright morning in the town of Twinleaf. Up in the cyan blue skies, fly a flock of Starlies, chirping soothingly as they glide overhead. Yes, this is the region of Sinnoh; a mountainous region. All seemed calm and perfect outside. However, inside a local house, was a whole different story.

This house was a large, white building with a forest green roof and two stories. Inside, a boy sat in the living room, on a couch, watching a Johto News Report. On the television screen, a tall blue-haired lady was reporting live from the Lake of Rage in Mahogany Town. The dark sky above her was pouring down blankets of rain, "This is Sheryl reporting live from the currently infamous Lake of Rage! It seems that the Magikarp native to this lake have been forced to evolve into Gyaradoses! One in particular has a shiny, red exterior!" She slowly turned around and shouted,"Oh look! There it is!"

In the background, the atrocious Pokemon emerged from the lake, sending out waves of destruction in every which way. Sheryl managed to climb ontop of a small cabin near the lake and said, "It appears a young boy and his Typhlosion are trying to calm the Red Gyarados. Oh bless his heart! Oh my! The boy has_____"

Back in the living room, the boy who had been watching the program is in disbelief that his mother would turn off the television, right at the climax of the documentary, "Mom! What the heck are you doing!!?? Now I've missed the conclusion!"

The boy's mother simply replied, "Diamond, your eyes have been glued to the TV screen all morning. Besides, your friend Pearl just called. He's asking you to go over to his house for some reason. I could barely comprehend what he was saying, since he was in such a hurry." She smiled a bit as a petite, creamy-white creature with seemingly green hair appeared behind Diamond's mother, whose name was Ayako.

Diamond frowned as he stood, "Yeah, Pearl's been acting different ever since he caught that Elekid." As he looked down at the creature, he beamed happily and said, "Hey, Sam? You wanna come with me to Pearl's house?" Sam, short for Samurai, was Diamond's Ralts and also his first and only Pokemon.

What is a Ralts you ask? It is one of the currently 493 Pokemon in the world. Pokemon are known as pets, battle partners, research subjects, and much more. Not much is known about them currently, but much will be learned in the future.

-----

Diamond finally made his way outside into the neighborhood with Sam on his shoulder. Diamond was a rather good-looking fellow: tan, brown eyes, navy, and white teeth. You could say he was a perfectionist. He was currently dressed in dark blue vest, with a white collar shirt underneath with the collar flipped up, blue jeans, and red, white, and yellow shoes. On his head was his signature beret. If Diamond were to lost this hat, he wouldn't know what he'd do.

As Diamond approached the front foor of Damion's house, it instantly opened up. A blonde haired boy came sprinting out of the doorway and rammed into Diamond, knocking both boys into the dirt.

"Ow, Pearl. How many tmes in a week are you going to do that? Ah, dammit! Now I have a headache." Diamond got back to his feet as Sam began to soothe Diamond's pain by rubbing the sides of his head.

Obviously, Pearl was the blonde-haired boy, dressed in an orange and white striped shirt, with dark gray pants. His nose wrinkled a bit as he said, "Ah, I see you've yet to release that Ralts. Anyway, did you see that Red Gyarados documentary this morning?"

Diamond nodded his head, annoyed at the fact that Pearl disapproved of him having a Ralts. Pearl thought it was a feminine Pokemon.

Pearl continued on, "Well, I was wondering if Lake Verity had a Pokemon like that too!"

Diamond shrugged boredly, "I guess we could check it out. I've got nothing to do until later on when I start my journey. Fine, let's check it out then."

Pearl grinned and said, "Let's go!" He took off running, before making a U-turn and saying,"Whoops, forgot something!" He ran inside of the house, and returned with a few Pokeballs at hand, as well as one containing an Elekid, from what Diamond can see, "Now, let's go!"

-----

The two boys hiked to the north and then the west before approacing Verity Lake Front. After about thirty minutes of no action occuring in the lake, Diamond got bored and sat on the grass, "Pearl, this sucks, Nothing's happening."

Suddenly, there were loud rustles coming from the forest. Pearl, being overdramatic, grabbed Diamond and dragged him into the bushes. Two human figures emerged from the forest. The taller one was an elderly male with white hair, as well as a white mustache, and was dressed in a lab coat. The other one was a female, dressed in a mid-thigh-high black and pink skirt, a white skull cap, and pink shoes.

From the bushes, Pearl chuckled and said softly,"That girl has a nice pair of legs."

Diamond smirked and whispered back,"Yeah, but you'd never be able to..."

Diamond was cut off by Pearl, "Hey, Diamond, they're gone!" The two removed themselves from the bushes as Pearl noticed a brown man-bag in the tall grass. Curious, he opened it, revealing two Pokeballs.

Diamond stood beside him and said, "Those belong to that old guy and that girl, I assume."

Pearl shook his head, "Quit being a goody-too-shoes, Diamond."

Diamond exhaled heavily as he looked at Sam's Pokeball, muttering a few inappropiate words. Just then, two Staravias flew out from the trees and began to assault Diamond and Damion with multiple pecks to the head. Obviously, they came into their territory. In between pecks, Diamond and Pearl lost Sam and Elekid's Pokeball, both Pokeballs rolling into the lake.

As Pearl fought back by punching one of the bird Pokemon, he shouted to Diamond, "Dia! Grab one of these Pokeballs! Maybe a Pokemon is inside of them!"

Diamond nodded, swatting the other Staravia away. He grabbed the Pokeball on the rightside of the bag and lobbed it into the air. In a flash of white light, a chubby penguin looking Pokemon materialized as it said loudly, "Pip! Piplup!" Pearl took the remaining Pokeball and released what seemed to be a green turtle Pokemon with a branch on it's head,"Turt-wig!" Diamond knew the Pokemon he just released was a Piplup, and began to think of some of Piplup's attacks.

The Staravias took flight and were coming right for Turtwig and Piplup. However, Diamond fought back, "Piplup! Bubble!" Piplup opened it's beak and sent out an array of bubbles, hitting one of Staravia's. This Staravia flew elsewhere, seemingly weak from an earlier battle.

Now, it was Pearl's turn. He ordered a Bite attack from Turtwig as the grass Pokemon jumped up and began to engulf the entire Staravia's head in it's large mouth. The bird Pokemon landed on the ground and began to violently shake it's head in order to remove the turtle Pokemon from it's skull. Eventually, it prevailed, sending Turtwig ramming into Piplup. Piplup fell to the ground, but eventually got up, along with Turtwig.

Staravia flew up in the sky again and proceed to use Wing Attack, but ended up flying straight into a tree in the forest, before wandering off.

Diamond chuckled a bit, "It must have been confused."

Just then, the Staravia returned, but it's sequel was cut short when it was shot down by pellets of fire. A pokeball was tossed from the forest and hit off of the fainted Staravia before taking it in. The pokeball shook for a while, before finally ceasing. The Staravia was captured! But by who?

Pearl and Diamond looked around to see where the fire pellets came from, only to see the girl from earlier emerge from the forest, with a Chimchar infront of her. She didn't look too happy with the two boys.

(Next: Chapter 2: VS. Chimchar)

TurtleKing September 30th, 2007 10:07 AM

Chapter 2: VS. Chimchar http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa390.png

As Damion began drooling over the voluptuous girl, Hiro managed to recover the two Pokeball he and Damion lost in the lake. The girl seemed furious, as an ornage monkey Pokemon stood ready infront of her,"Just hand over Piplup and Turtwig, and no one will get hurt." Early after the battle against the Staravias, Turtwig and Piplup were returned into their appropiate Pokeballs.

Damion scoffed and said,"For a girl of your calibur in looks, you sure are sasy. How about we battle for the Pokemon instead.?" The girl sighed as she placed her hands on her hips, thinking a bit before replying,"Fine...If I win, you two give back Prof. Rowan's Pokemon." Damion nodded and said,"And if I win, we keep our Pokemon and you go on a date with me." Diamond scratched his head as he held in his laughter. He went over to the sidelines, not really caring for the match.

"By the way, I'm Pearl," the girl said cooly,"And that's all you will get out of me."

Then, the match began. Pearl used her Chimchar, Pyra, while Damion released his Elekid, Volt. Pearl made the first move,"Pyra! Dig!" Pyra began scraping at the ground as it burrowed into the earth. Damion tried to counter,"Using a ground attack against an electric-type Pokemon is good and all, but Volt's strong!" Volt began rotating it's arms, generating electrical energy in it's plug-like horns. However, Pyra emerged from behind Volt, and quickly shot fire pellets at it's back, causing the Elekid to get slightly burnt and fall down. Before Volt could turn around, Pyra dug back underground and surfaced infront of Volt once more. The Chimchar then fire more Embers at Volt's stomach. This hit and run tactic continued for quite sometime as Damion began to get frustrated. Pearl smirked a bit and said in baby talk,"Aww, is the wittle baby getting upset?"

Pyra finally remained surfaced, for good, staring down a weary Volt, lowering it's defense with a Leer. Damion fornwed and said,"I don't understand! Voolt asn't even been able to attack Chimchar." Pearl didn't bother explaining herself as she proceeded with the final blow,"Pyra! Flame Wheel!" Pyra rolle dup into a ball as it's tail of fire engulfed it's body in flames. It immediately zipped torwards Volt, slamming into the Elekid's stomach, as well as fainting it. Damion contained his anger and returned Volt into it's Pokeball. He made his way to Pearl and handed over Turtwig's Pokeball, reluctantly. Pearl gladly accepted it and looked over at Diamond to see if he'd give up Piplup. Diamond, who was looking elsewhere, said,"If you're waiting on me to return Piplup's Pokeball, forget it. You'll have to battle me as well." Pearl sighed as she went into her bag and took out a Super Potion to spray on Pyra,"Fine, but I have to make this quick. Prof. Rowan is waiting for me." Diamond stretched a bit before standing in Damion'splace. Damion was sitting on a nearby bench, contemplating on how he lost the battle. Diamond released Sam, while saying,"If you win, you get Piplup. If I win, I keep Piplup and Damion gets Turtwig back."

Pearl smirked and said,"What? No date?" Diamond chuckled as he scratched his nose,"Well, if you insist." By now, Pyra was fully restored health wise and ready to go. Pearl started this match off as well, ordering another dig by Pyra. By now, there were several holes on the battlefield. Diamond smirked and said,"Sam, Detect!" Sam closed it's eyes and slowly dodged Pyra, who emerged in the ground underneath the Ralts. Sam opened it's eyes as Diamond said,"Good, now use Future Sight!"

Sam began to utter it's name ritually, but nothing happened. Pearl smiled and thought to herselg,"He dodged my dig...but he won't dodge this." She looked down at Pyra and said,"Fury Swipes, girl!" The Chimchar sprung into the air and tackled Sam to the ground, scratching it excessively on the face. The Ralts held it's arms out and sent a small wave of psychic energy torwards the monkey and lightly tossed it into the air.

As it slowly descended, a quick flash of emerald light hit the Chimchar higher as Diamond commented,"The plan is to keep Pyra off the ground. You can't dig in middair. Confusion keeps Chimchar going higher and higher." Pearl watched in horror and shouted,"Pyra!?" Finally, another wave of psychic energy shocked Pyra as it hurled to the ground face first, defeated. The final attack was the end result of Future Sight.

Pearl returned Pyra and tossed Turtwig's Pokeball at Damion, who received it happily. She then walked over to Diamond with an unsatisfied look on her face, but she nodded. Her angry looked turned into a weak smile as she ran off. Diamond looked to his left and saw Sam dancing with it's new friend, Piplup, who had just been released from it's Pokeball. He smiled and knelt down to Piplup,"From now on, you are known as Trident." The Piplup nodded, agreeing with it's nickname.

Damion and Diamond were now on their way back to Twinleaf, but up ahead at the crossroad, they discovered Prof. Rowan and Pearl standing there, as if they were waiting for their return. "The old guy looks mad," Damion said quietly as Pearl spoke first,"Prof. I'm so sorry, but these boys, well one of them at leasy, won Piplup and Turtwif fair and square." Prof. Rowan nodded and said,"Apparently, they must be at least decent trainers in order to have beaten my assistant." Pearl held her hands behind her back as he legs went pidgeon-toed. Damion caught himself staring at her legs again as Diamond elbowed him,"We're not certified trainers, per se. We don't even have Pokedexes." Prof Rowan's frown went away as he replied,"Very well, then. Come by my lab in a few hours and we'll discuss this matter." And with that, both the Prof. and Pearl walked off.

As Diamond returned home, firstly, he showed his mother the new edition to his Pokemon family, Trident the Piplup. His mother smiled approvingly,"I hiess this means you're ready to go out on your own journey?" Diamond nodded and said,"Yes, ma'am." After a moment of silence, Diamond questioned his mother about Prof. Rowan,"I don't know much about him, but I do know his lab is in northwest Sandgem and he has a mysterious past." Diamond nodded as he headed up the steps and into his room to grab a Town Map off his wall.

After spending a couple of hours upstairs, Diamond he strolled downstairs, only to see his mother chatting with Diamond's mothers. Apparently, Damion had already left for Sandgem. Diamond was somewhat hapy about this. He felt that Damion was holding back his potential. Basically, Diamond really didn't trust anyone but himself, while Damion relied on everyone to do the hard work for him.

That night, Diamond snuck out the front door and walked north again into the woods. The sky was turning a darker hue of blue, almost black. For protection, Diamond allowed Trident and Sam out of their Pokeballs. Sandgem Town was a good hike away from Twinleaf Town. However, at the pace Diamond was going, it was going to be a long, long hike...END.

(Next: Chapter 3: VS. Drapion)

TurtleKing September 30th, 2007 10:08 AM

Chapter 3: VS. Drapion http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa452.png

The howling of Mightyenas could be heard as Diamond traveled along the route to Sandgem Town. It seemed as if he had been traveling for days the way he hiked; Diamond always takes time to stop and smell the roses or taking two steps forward and one step back. He was somewhat of a procrastinator. But eh, typical Diamond. Trident was walking ahead of him, while am slept inside his backpack. Peaceful....just how Diamond liked it.

But abruptly, this peace was interupted when Diamond overheard men talking up ahead. He quietly wandered into the bushes and began to listen in on their conversation.

"So, the boss is really going through with the operation this time? I didn't expect it so soon. It seems rushed." said one of the astronaut-dressed grunts. The other nodded and said,"Yes, however, we can't go through with it unless he captures some key Pokemon. Like the ones from each of the three mahjor lakes in Sinnoh: Verity, Acuity, and Valor."

Diamond blinked and thought for a moment," Pokemon at the three lakes?" He recalled, one day in the past, seeing a pink Pokemon flying around the cave in the center of the lake, but he paid it no mind. As Diamond tried to recall this experience, Trident and Sam sensed some movement coming from behind them. They alerted the boy, as he turned around and witnessed the large creature. It was purple and mauve, and had a jagged exterior. "A...Dr..Dr-Drapion!" Diamond yelled as he ran out of the bushes, bumping into the green haired men.


One of the grunts chuckled and said rhetorically,"Heh, what's the problem kid!? If you want to hand over your Pokemon, you best do it in an HQ of ours." Diamond stammered as he stared at the man,"Wh-why you I give you my ____" He was cut off by the arrival of the massive Drapion. Diamond gritted his teeth and faced the beast," 'Don't have many options, let's run guys!" He began to sprint past the scorpion Pokemon, leaving the men in the dust. The two men smirked as one of them said,"That Drapion sure comes in handy when detecting spies."

Meanwhile, Damion was at the lab, discussing something with Prof. Rowan,"Where's your friend? It's almost 10:00 PM." Damion shrugged and said," Dunno...He probably got lost? He's prone to to wandering off and getting sidetracked. That's why I'm always ahead of him." The Prof. sighed and replied," I can't discuss this major situation without the three of you here. Pearl, my dear, go fetch the boy." Pearl nodded as she proceeded out the door...

Back in the forest, Diamond was still being pursuited by Drapion,"C'mon, think! Think!" He said outloud to himself. Finally, he thought of something as he approached an oppening near the middle of the forest.

First, he aboutfaced, while returning Sam to his Pokeball, knowing he would be of no use against a dark type Pokemon. Trident flipped infront of its trainer, knowing what to do. The current terrain on the battle field was dirt, and pretty thick dirt, a bad mix with water, but perfect for this situation.

The Drapion finally caught up to Diamond and slashed Trident across the face. The Piplup fell to the grounf, but didn't get hurt too badly. Diamond ordered a Bubblebeam at the ground, and Trident did so. The dirt around Drapion began to get muddy and sticky; Very hard to become agile and mobile in. Diamond grinned and said to Trident,"Let's go! It'll buy us some a hell amount of time!"

The two finally evaded Drapion as lights came into view. Obviously, they had finally reached Sandgem Town. Coming from behind Diamond was Pearl with Pyra by her side,"Where the hell have you been, boy?" Diamond turned to face her,"On my way here! I got sidetracked by some astronauts and their pet Drapion!" Pearl huffed, annoyed at his comment, and said,"Excuses, excuses. Come on, the Prof. has something for us to do." If Pearl had listened closely, she would've known that the "astronauts" were actually Team Galactic. An organization she knew of. Either that, or she purposely ignored it.

When Pearl arrived in the lab with Damion behind her, Prof. Rowan nodded and began his statement,"I've selected you three as my primary assitants. My three Pokedex holders. In case you didn't know, I am a specialist at the study of Pokemon Evolution. You see, an evil organization known as Team Galactic, are out to force several, if not all, Pokemon to evolve. However, in the process of these evolutions, Pokemon give off extreme energy for a short period of time. Team Galactic is after this energy for unknown reasons. In any case, I'd like for you lot to help me in stopping Team Galactic. A thousand apologies for interupting your future goals. But, the world is in imminent danger." Damion nodded in agreement," Count me in. I'm up for being a hero." Pearl nodded as well,"Always by your side Prof.!" Diamond stared boredly at the Prof.,"No thanks. I don't want to get caught up in all this mess. I have badges to win and a Pokemon League to conquer." Prof. Rowan sighed and said,"Understood, lad." He handed Damion and Pearl Pokedexes, with one remaining on the table.

"Damion, I would like for you to leave on your journey tonight. Pearl, you leave in the morning and Diamond...Ah, nevermind." Diamond sighed as he stared into space, thinking about something or better yet someone. His sister and his grandfather. Yet, that's another story.

As the clock struck eleven, Damion bid farewell to everyone and led the mission. Diamond walked into the den of the lab and sat on the couch staring at Sam and Trident's Pokeballs,"We could really use your help Diamond." said a voice from behind him. It was Prof. Rowan.

"Pearl has told me all about you. She says your a strategic genius. Dexterity at solving problems." Diamond shrugged and said,"I guess you could say that." "Well, we could really use that on our team. Is there anything I could do to change your mind?" Diamond stared into space again as he looked at the Prof.,"I would tell you, but, it's impossible. However, I'll consider it." He nodded. With that, he got up and walked away to the Pokemon Center to heal his Pokemon and rest himself.

The next morning, Diamond awoke in his room at the Center, with a package on the table. He opened it and read the note that was inside. It was from Pearl. Diamond read the note outloud," Dear Diamond, I know you'll make the right decision. Inside is a Pokedex, Pokeballs, and other junk you'll need for your journey. P.S. Damion insisted that we each have a competition: The first to reach the peak of Mt. Coronet is the greatest trainer to come from Twinleaf Town. He's got a headstart so we better hurry!" Diamond smiled warmly as he gathered his new items and belongings and placed them into his backpack. He also placed a red scarf around his neck that was inside the package.

When he swung by the lab, Diamond placed a note on the door, saying,"Professor, I want to help. - Diamond" It was almost 12 noon, but better late than never. Diamond began to sprint with his new running shoes to the northern route, to begin his journey. END VS. Drapion.

Next: Chapter 4: VS. Stunky!)

TurtleKing September 30th, 2007 10:09 AM

Chapter 4: VS. Stunky! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa434.png

Route 202 was filled with tons of trainers itching for battles. Diamond took this opportunity to level up Sam and Trident, easily defeating five consecutive trainers. After Diamond finished off a youngster's Bidoof with Trident, a boy scout came up to him and challenged him to a battle. Diamond grinned a bit and said," Sure, why not?"

So the match began. Diamond released Sam as the Ralts stretched, tired, but still able to battle. The boy scout released his Shinx, it's tail flashing when it roared cutely. "Sam use Growl!" said Diamond. Ralts ran torwards Shinx, making an intimidating expression while growling. Shinx stepped a way a bit, it's attack power lowering.

"Shinx use Bite!" squealed the boy scout. Shinx quickled opened it's mouth and clamped down on Sam's arm. Diamond was about to call out a counter attack, when he smelt a disturbing fragrance in the air. Instantly, he covered his nose and exclaimed," Oh my god! What the hell is that smell!!? Your Shinx! It's due for a bath! NOW!"

The boy scout covered his nose as well,"It took a bath earlier this morning, thank you very much!" Just then, a purple skunk Pokemon came from behind Diamond and peeked between the opening between his legs. The boy scout chuckled and said in a muffled voice,"A Stunky!" Diamond had a disturbed look on his face as he yelled,"Ah! Of all the Pokemon!" The Stunky looked up at Diamond, some what angry. It trotted infront of him and a released a rancid Poison Gas in Diamond's direction, immediately knocking the poor boy out.

Later, Diamond came to, lying on the grass with the boy scout, Stunky, Shinx, and Sam staring down at him. The boy scout helped him up and chuckled," Heh, well, that Stunky sure knocked you out. By the way, I'm Jacob. And I now know that you're Diamond. I kinda peeked at your Pokedex Info and Trainer Card while you were out cold." Diamond dusted himself off and shrugged off what Jacob had said. He was currently focused on the Stunky.

"Lookie-here, guy, don't ever spray me with that gas again!" Stunky appeared offended and sprayed Diamond again, however, it didn't knock him out, this time. Obviously, the Stunky was a female. A sassy one at that.

Diamond sighed,"Well, I guess the onl way to solve this problem is to catch Stunky." Sam stood ready, but Diamond shook his head," Sam, you're not the best at physical based attacks. It's best if I used Trident against Stunky." Sam whined as it was returned. Apparently, Diamond found a new main Pokemon.

Trident started the match out with a Pound attack, slapping the Stunky continously on it's rear-end-looking face. Stunky retaliated with a Poison Sting, barely piercing Trident's somewhat chubby stomach. Diamond was beginning to understand Stunky's plan and he thought to himself," It's trying to induce a poison status on Trident by using poison attacks, no less. Maybe Pearl's battle style will come in handy."

Trident swatted the sting's away from his belly, while Jacob wondered how Diamond would pull this off. Diamond began his strategy," Trident, Bubblebeam Stunky and then the ground, as hard as you can!" Trident began shooting bubbles at Stunky to push it bag and then at the ground as it slowly lifted itself off the ground. This allowed to rise very high into the air. Stunky looked up but it was hard to spot Trident due to the noon sun hiding the Piplup in the bright rays. Diamond smirked similar to the way Pearl normally did," Science lesson, Stunky. When something falls from a tall height, the higher and heavier the object, the faster and harder it hits the ground. But, I'm not aiming for the ground! Trident, Peck!"

From the skies, came Trident, descending rapidly torwards the skunk Pokemon, it's beack sharpening. Finally, Trident collided with Stunky, pinning it to the ground. An immediate TKO. For some reason, Trident was hurt after Stunky fainted. This was Stunky's special ability, Detonate. Jacob'ss eyes widen as he said," Wow! That was amazing!"

Diamond smiled and nodded as he took out a Pokeball and tossed it off of Stunky. After a few wobbles, Stunky was captured! Diamond picked up the Pokeball and stared at it,"Welcome to the team, Rose." Jacob's face wrinkled as he said," Naming a Stunky Rose? That's ironic." Diamond nodded and said," Exactly."

Later on in the afternoon, Jacob followed Diamond to the entrance of the next city, Jubilife City,"So, I guess this is where we end our crossed paths. I'm going home to Canalave. Where are you going? I'd expect you to go to Oreburgh where the first gym is?" Diamond nodded and said," Yep...See ya around kid." And with that, Jacob left to the west, while Diamond made his way to the nearby Trainer School...END.

(Next: Chapter 5: VS. Kricketune!)

TurtleKing September 30th, 2007 10:09 AM

Chapter 5: VS. Kricketune http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa402.png

Inside of the Trainers' School, Damion was looking over the information on the chalkboard, waiting for his father to return from the Jubilife Poke Mart. Just then, the school's door opened and in came Diamond, looking restored after his journey through the route to Jubilife City,"Hey, Damion."

Damion turned to face Diamond and smiled,"Heh, I know you couldn't resist my challenge. Stick around for a while. My dad says he has a surprise for me." Diamond shook his head head slightly, not enough for Damion to notice, however. Why the hell should Diamond stick around for Damion's surprise? Well, Diamond needed a break, so he sat at a desk, studying the chalkboard as well.

Damion's father returned to the school. Of course, he was a teacher at the school. He was a tall, lean man with short blonde hair, dressed in a blue blazer and gray slacks. However, he was empty handed," Ehm, sorry Damion. Someone's robbed the Pokemart. People are saying that they were stolen by men dressed as clowns."

Diamond burst into laughter and said,"That sounds bizarre. Why would Damion the clown steal his own gift?" Damion glared at him and said angrily," Not funny. Come on! Help me catch these clowns!"

The two boys went around the city, searching for the clowns, with no luck what-so-ever. Eventually Diamond asked a short, chubby man with brown hair, dressed in a suit, of he had seen said clowns. The man nodded and said,"Indeed I have. You see, I am the president of the Poketch Company, Mr. Yamanaka, as well as Jubilife TV's ownder. Those clowns have taken over the Jubilife TV Tower and there's no way of getting back in. I perhaps could climb the fire escape, but I'm not the athletic boy I once was." Damion looked to Diamond who appeared uninterested in the story.

"We'll do it! We'll find a way in and get rid of those clowns. Come on Diamond!" The boys got directions from Mr. Yamanaka and made their way to Jubilife TV Tower. The tower had a jumbotron screen on it, but currently it was not functioning. Damoin led Diamond down the alley and began ascending the tower through the fire escape.

Diamond and Damion eventually made it on the walk way and kicked two windows in. After doing so, they were now in a small office. They opened up the office door and were now in a dimly lit hallway. Meanwhile, a tall man dressed as a clown and his two fellow clowns stood at the end of the hall, laughing maniacly at their room full of Poketches.

"Gee, Harold, we sure scored today! This is our best scheme yet!" Harold, the tall clown nodded and said,"You got that right it's our best scheme! Nothing can possibly go wrong!"

"Yeah, but what if you get caught?" yelled two voices from behind the clowns. Diamond and Damion stood there, Rose and Volt were already out of their Pokeballs incase of battle. Harold smirked as he faced the two,"Surely you're not serious." Diamond smirked a bit and said,"I should say the same to you three, the way you're dressed." The two clowns ran off as Harold sneered while taking out a Pokeball,"Cowards..."

Pop! His Pokeball opened and out came the red cricket Pokemon, Kricketune. It held up it's baton and began to wave it, using Sing. Immediately, Diamond and Damion fell asleep, along with their Pokemon.

Diamond's eyes slowly opened, as he realized that he and his friend were tied up in the main office of the tower. Harold stood there with Kricketune by his side," So the sarcastic one is the first to awken. Heh, you'll also be the first to die. Kricketune, Fury Cutter!" Kricketune slashed it's baton across the boy's stomach. Diamond cried out in pain as he looked over to Damion.

"These Poketches will be so helpful to me in the future. Heh, the future. Time. Time is of the essence." Diamond looked confused,"What do you mean?" Kricketune slashed Diamond once again as Harold said,"Shut your damn mouth. You'll speak when I tell you too." Diamond began to sweat as his stomach felt sore from taking a beating.

Diamond began to brainstorm a way out this pickle, but currently he couldn't think of a thing. Mainly because he was getting his ass whooped by a man, dressed in a clown suit no-less.

Until...

"Gaia! Now!" A Turtwig burst through the window and landed on the floor. It quickly used Razor Leaf to cut free Diamond and Damion, who had been conscious the whole time. Diamond grinned a bit and said,"You planned this all along?" Damion nodded and said cooly,"Yep. Sweet huh?" Damion made a weird face and said," Why the hell did you let me get my ass kicked by a Kricketune!?!?!?!?" Damion shrugged and said," Sacrifice."

Harold shook his head,"This changes nothing!" He stood infront of the boxes of Poketches and declared an attack,"Fury Cutter!" The Kricketune went after Gaia. Gaia dodged the attack and used Body Slam on Kricketune. Diamond held his stomach as he winced a bit.

Kricketune began to gain the upperhand after landing six consecutive Fury Cutters on Gaia. Diamond quickly returned his Turtwig and released Volt. The Elekid began to tremble a bit, and proceeded to glow. It grew into a larger and more powerful...

...Electabuzz!

Damion grinned and said,"Finally!" Harold looked uneasy and failed to call out an attack,"I'll take the initiative then!" Damion shouted as he ordered a Thunder Punch. Volt ran over to Kricketune and electrically jabbed Kricketune in the gut, KOing it with ease. Harold returned the Bug-Type Pokemon and fled, but first said," This is not the last time you'll see me. I will avenge my leader's disappearance. I've got one word for you two. ICE."

Diamond blinked and was now even more confused,"First those Galactic goons and now Ice. What's next???" Damion shrugged and said," I dunno. But I don't think that Team Galactic and these clown-guys are related, villanous wise.'

Much later...

Diamond and Damion stood right outside of Jubilife TV Tower with a crowd, a news team, and Mr. Yamanaka surrounding them. After answering a series of questions, Mr. Yamanaka spoke,"I, Mr. Yamanaka, have declared these two young men as new owners of two of the only three new and improved updated Poketches. And as a treat for the viewers, how about you two have a battle? A quick one on one match I dare say!"

Diamond looked to Damion as they nodded in unison.

Diamond released Sam as Damion released Volt,"Heh! You have the upperhand in this match Diamond! Volt's tired. But no excuses when I win!"

Diamond smirked and said," I wouldn't count on that, right Sam?

....Sam???"

Sam started to glow!

END.

(Next: Chapter 6: VS. Golbat!)

lilninjapig September 30th, 2007 10:59 AM

Um, isn't this very similar to my story?

TurtleKing September 30th, 2007 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilninjapig (Post 2946537)
Um, isn't this very similar to my story?

I haven't read your story. ^^'

EDIT: Heh, well so it is. However, this fan-fiction is original. Yours is just a basic novelization, similar to Serebii.net's.

lilninjapig September 30th, 2007 11:24 AM

So, why do you call it Pokemon Special Manga? It must have had some influence. Besides, not everyone can speak fluent Japanese to read the Manga Books. Besides, I don't visit Serebii regularly, so it has no influence on this.

TurtleKing September 30th, 2007 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilninjapig (Post 2946679)
So, why do you call it Pokemon Special Manga? It must have had some influence. Besides, not everyone can speak fluent Japanese to read the Manga Books. Besides, I don't visit Serebii regularly, so it has no influence on this.

Well, I've called it this for quite sometime, and no one has had a problem with it, so, the title stays. But if it helps, I'll alter the title.

Now do you have anything constructive to say? Enough about this dispute.

JX Valentine September 30th, 2007 12:31 PM

I'd hate to butt in, but...

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilninjapig (Post 2946679)
So, why do you call it Pokemon Special Manga?

Um, maybe because the title Pokemon Special is just as well-known as Pokemon Adventures? It's not like the original name for that manga series is all that obscure. I've been calling it Special way before I stepped foot in Serebii, and so have most of the comic's fans. =/

Man. People write one fic, and they think they own the genre.


Sorry about that, by the way, Turtle. Anyway, while I haven't yet touched the DP arc (and thus can't quite tell if this is a word-for-word adaptation), I can at least see that the description's good. Paragraphing could use a little work, though. Remember, for example, that whenever you change speakers, you should begin a new paragraph. So, for example, a paragraph like this:

Quote:

"Ow, Damion. How many tmes in a week are you going to do that? Ah, dammit! Now I have a headache." Diamond got back to his feet as Sam began to soothe Diamond's pain by rubbing the sides of his head. Obviously, Damion was the blonde-haired boy, dressed in an orange and white striped shirt, with dark gray pants. His nose wrinkled a bit as he said,"Ah, I see you've yet to release that Ralts. Anyway, did you see that Red Gyarados news report this morning?" Diamond nodded his head, annoyed at the fact that Damion disapproved of him having a Ralts. He thought it was a feminine Pokemon.
Should actually probably be set like this:

Quote:

"Ow, Damion. How many tmes in a week are you going to do that? Ah, dammit! Now I have a headache."

Diamond got back to his feet as Sam began to soothe Diamond's pain by rubbing the sides of his head. Obviously, Damion was the blonde-haired boy, dressed in an orange and white striped shirt, with dark gray pants.

His nose wrinkled a bit as he said, "Ah, I see you've yet to release that Ralts. Anyway, did you see that Red Gyarados news report this morning?"

Diamond nodded his head, annoyed at the fact that Damion disapproved of him having a Ralts. He thought it was a feminine Pokemon.
See how the speakers and the new topic (character description of Damion, Diamond's actions) are in separate paragraphs? This is an improvement in that there's no longer confusion over who's speaking. (Not to mention it's grammatically correct anyway.) Before, the reader could easily mistake Damion's line for Diamond's because Diamond was the first one speaking.

I'd also, as a side note, attempt to avoid the word "obviously" and maybe try to introduce the character in a way that doesn't quite sound like you're either insulting the reader or smacking them over the head with information. For example, maybe try saying something along the lines of "Damion, as he was called" and insert his physical description into the action (like "he ran his fingers through his blonde hair as he stuffed his opposite hand into the pocket of his dark gray pants"). By doing that, you could avoid interrupting the flow of the story to talk about your character.

'Course, this is just what I gleaned from the first chapter. I'll come back and review the others later.

TurtleKing September 30th, 2007 12:52 PM

'Kay, thanks! It's always good to get critism. I guess I should also say this is my first ever fic.

Pixelated September 30th, 2007 1:10 PM

Seems interesting so far, I look forward to reading more.

TurtleKing October 4th, 2007 11:28 AM

Alright, VS. Golbat is currently in the works. Expect it by Friday or Saturday!

TurtleKing October 5th, 2007 12:50 PM

Chapter 6: VS. Golbat http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa042.png

The crowd began to ooh at the sight of Sam evolving. However, Damion burst into laughter upon seeing Sam evolve into the feminine looking Kirlia,"It's even worse than before!" Diamond felt a lump in his throat as he looked down at Sam. The Kirlia did not appear happy with Damion.

Diamond's lump went away as he noticed Sam's expression,"Psychic!" Sam's eyes began to glow as it sent a wave of psychic energy at Volt, instantly knocking it out. Damion, for some reason, wasn't upset. He returned the Electabuzz, still chuckling.

"Volt was already weak from battling Kricketune. Besides, I need to hurry to Oreburgh City. Later." He took off running.

Diamond watched Damion and the crowd of people leave," Yeah, much later." As Diamond ventured through the route to Oreburgh City, he noticed a lake up ahead and decided to rest by it, allowing his three Pokemon, Sam, Trident, and Rose, to come out of their Pokeballs. Trident and Rose were both inspecting Sam's newly evolved body. While they were doing so, Diamond noticed two familiar figures on the other side of the lake. They each wore a space-like suit and had blueish-green hair,"Hmm....I wonder." Diamond stood up to get a better look.

From above the two men, a helicopter landed and ceased the propeller's rotation. A door slid open as a slender woman dressed in a more seductive spacesuit, came out swaying her hips as she approached the two men,"Commander Jupiter, ma'am, we've done what you've asked. We've managed to retrieve the girl. She's currently in the Secret Base."

Jupiter smiled as she said,"Thank you. You two will definately be rewarded for your services." She led them to the cave with Diamond secretly following behind them.

Diamond noticed on each of their uniforms a yellow G, outlined in black, "Team Galactic. I better stick around." Up ahead was a two way fork in the cave. Jupiter ushered her two grunts to the passage on the right, which was a path of steep hills, twists, and turns. All the while, Diamond tagged along.

Finally, the commander paused when they entered the secret base. Inside were several Pokemon, most likely drained of their energy, machines everywhere, and a girl tied up in the corner. Diamond peeked from the entrance and thought to himself,"Pearl!?"

Jupiter strolled over to the machine, smiling evilly," We've gathered enough evolutionary energy. Now, all we need is the jewel." She faced the grunts and then looked over at Pearl. She walked over to the unconscious girl, "Such a pretty young lady. She reminds me of myself at her age. So unfortunate for we have to execute her body." She took out a Pokeball and released a Golbat in a flash of white light,"Golbat..." She began, but was interupted.

"Don't even think about it!" Team Galactic's attentions turned to the entrance where Diamond stood boldly,"I've got to work on my catch phrases," he uttered to himself as Jupiter smirked.

She placed her hands on her hips and said," Hm...I know you. You're that kid who was supposed to be obliberated by our Drapion. I guess our grunts aren't top of the line after all. More like Neo Team Rocket grunts if you ask me." The two men behind her backed away as she finished her statement," Don't go anywhere! You two shall be punished." The two men stood there, frightened as Diamond exhaled deeply.

"I know what you want," Diamond said as he took off his Poketch and threw it to the floor,"You can have it, as long as you free Pearl."

Jupiter smiled and said,"Agreed. Team Galactic appreciates your generous trade."

The two sides exhanged their deals. Diamond placed Pearl on his back, thinking," Alright, I've got about 2 minutes before they realize that the Poketch is a phony." In the blink of an eye, Diamond sprinted out of the base. Jupiter caught on to this and sent Golbat after the boy. Without command, Golbat used Air Cutter at the air infront of Diamond, causing him to stumble a bit, but he maintained his ground. As he ran, Diamond reached into his pocket to find Trident's Pokeball, all the while, piggy-backing Pearl. When he found the Piplup's pokeball, he released it as it ran with him," Trident, help fend off that Golbat!" Trident nodded as it shot Bubblebeam torwards the bat Pokemon, but Golbat easily dodged it. Trident became seriously angry at this and continued it's bubbblbeam assault, still unsuccessful. Diamond continued to run down the path until he arrived at the fork again, going down the other path this time with Trident and Golbat bringing up the rear.

Golbat swatted Trident with a Wing Attack continously until Trident finally landed a Bubblebeam directly at Golbat's left wing. This preoccupied Golbat for the moment as Diamond and Trident hid behind a large rock.

Pearl's eyes slowly opened as she felt Diamond's hands on her butt while he was carrying her. Immediately, she blushed and hopped off of the boy's back," Ugh! You perv!" SWAT! She smacked the boy so hard that he fell to the ground. Trident, bruises and all, seriously thought Pearl was a threat to Diamond's life. It opened it's beak and released a Bubblebeam on the girl until Diamond told it to stop. Tirdent folded it's arms, staring up at the girl before it was returned into it's Pokeball.

Golbat was long gone now. Diamond sighed as he gazed down the cave,"I think it's gone."

Pearl nodded as she flattened her skirt,"Thanks for saving me, I guess. Jupiter, however, did suceed in stealing my Poketch. Luckily I have an extra one at home." Diamond followed her to the exit of the cave which led to Oreburgh City. Pearl sighed and said," Oreburgh? I thought I was at the other exit." She faced Diamond," I'm headed to Floaroma Town. So I guess I'll see you around." She headed back through the cave as Diamond watched her leave.

Diamond ventured down into the city. Nightfall was coming as the sky turned into a burnt orange color.

Meanwhile...

"Heh...be happy-go-lucky while you can. You're the first on my hit list, sugar." In the mountains stood a red headed female, dressed in a space suit that was styled like a skirt with metallic gray stockings. She was currently watching Pearl hike to Floaroma. She smirked and folded her arms laughing maniacally," You'll be annihilated or my name isn't Mars."

On the other side of the mountain stood Jupiter, overlooking Oreburgh,"By now, Mars is after the girl. Heh, I guess I'll take care of the boy myself, as a side journey for the real objective at hand." She descended the mountain slowly, her calm eyes piercing with anger. As she left, the scene of two battered and beatened bodies lie where she stood.

The bodies of the two grunts who failed to murder Diamond...Bite marks were all over their bodies, mainly their upperbodies.

Team Galactics was dead serious about whatever they were planning...

END.

(Next: Chapter 7: VS. Carnivine)

TurtleKing October 5th, 2007 2:44 PM

Chapter 7: VS. Carnivine http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa455.png

Nightfall had came in Oreburgh City. Diamond had just checked in at the Pokemon Center, healing his Pokemon. After they got healed, he went to the elevator and waited for it to open on the lobby floor. When it did....BAM! Diamond collided with Damion, habitually, as both boys fell to the cream-tiled floor. Diamond, getting used to this, didn't say a word, but Damion wailed out," Hah! What took you so long to get here? I've already beaten the gym leader here!" Both stood at the same time.

Diamond shrugged and said, "Whatever." Damion frowned, agitated at the fact he wasn't getting to Diamond.

"Anyway, I'm about to walk around town. Maybe even try to catch a few late night battles. Wanna come with?" Diamond sighed deeply, knowing that Damion wasn't going to let him refuse. He nodded his head and allowed Damion to lead the way.

While the duo were walking around town, they noticed several people running away torwards the Oreburgh Mine. Damion blinked and said," Ah? What's their malfunction? Oreburgh isn't a place to run away ----" Diamond cut him off as he pointed to the sky.

"What the hell is that?"

A large plant-likemonster was swooping down on the citizens, firing an array of Bullet Seeds, aimlessly. Damion's jaw dropped as he stuttered," A C-Carnivine? B-But why would a Carnivine be way out here in Oreburgh?"

Diamond nodded and agreed," There's more to this than that Carnivine. I'll go follow the people. Think you can handle this thing?"

Damion nodded his head as he watched Diamond run off. He turned his attention back at Carnivine and said," Alright now." He took out a Pokeball and released Gaia. The Turtwig bounced around happily, slightly cracking the ground.

"This is no time for playing, Gaia. Now, use Bite!" Gaia leaped up into the nighttime sky, trying to bite Carnivine's tail. Carnivine simply evaded the attack and countered with Bite of it's own. The Venus Flytrap Pokemon stuck Gaia's head between it's mandible and wouldn't let go. Damion gritted his teeth,"Ah..Oh! Razor Leaf!" Upon being in Carnivine's mouth, Gaia unleashed several razor sharp leaves inside of Carnivine, causing it to spit up the Turtwig.

Gaia's cranium was covered with a sticky saliva now. Instantly, it withdrew into it's shell, raising it's defense before coming back out. Carnivine opened it's mouth again, spitting out more Bullet Seeds. Gaia dodged swiftly as Damion began to gain the upperhand, "Headbutt!" Gaia jumped up and rammed it's skull with Carnivine's, knocking it to the ground.

Damion grinned and looked to Gaia," Alright, bud, time to try out that thing we were working on at the gym!" Gaia nodded as it cried out enthusiastically. It reared up and stomped the ground, sending a seismic, geographic, underground wave at Carnicine. This caused the Grass-Type Pokemon to fall into a hole; An instant KO.

Damion walked over to the edge of the hole with Gaia, gazing down at it," Heh, nice Earthquake, Gaia." He took out a Pokeball and tossed it at Carnivine.

1...2...3...Ding! Carnivine was captured! Gaia went into the hole to retrieve the ball. When it got back to higher ground, it spat the ball onto the ground as Damion picked it up, staring at Carnivine in it's Pokeballs," You're now known as Verde, I reckon!"

Meanwhile, Diamond ran after the citizens to see why they were going into the mines. Sam, Rose, and Trident all followed closely behind their trainer. Sam was quietly practicing punches; Trident had it's arms folded as it walked; And Rose had her nose in the air, as if she was the most pleasant smelling Pokemon in the land of Sinnoh.

When he reached the beginning of the mines, Diamond was about to head in...

...Until.

"Heh. Where do you think you're going, boy?"

It was a familiar voice. Feminine, yet strong.

Diamond about-faced and came face to face with Jupiter.

"Payback is a must, right?" She said calmly. At her side was a ferocious skunk looking Pokemon. It had purple and tanfur, as well as a large resemblence to Rose,"Oh that's right! You haven't become associated with your Stunky's mother, Skuntank! Allow me to introduce her to you, personally. Night Slash!"

Skuntank leaped forward, it's claw surrounded by dark energy as it collided with Diamond's stomach...

END

(Next: Chapter 8: VS. Skuntank!)

TurtleKing October 7th, 2007 9:02 AM

Chapter 8: VS. Skuntank! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa435.png

Diamond was sent a few feet in the air before he fell to the ground. Jupiter smirked as she called for another Night Slash from Skuntank. Skuntank jumped up but was blocked by it's daughter, Rose. Skuntank simple performed the slashing attack on it's seed, slamming Rose into the ground. Diamond slowly stood, coughing up a bit as he called out,"Trident! Bubblebeam!" Trident opened it's beak quickly and shot several bubbles at Skuntank, sending it back weakly. Sam could only contribute by growling, lowering Skuntank's attack power. Rose was furious that it's own mother would dare to attack her. It ran torwards Skuntank, tackling it in the gut.

Jupiter frown and said," Enough of this foolishness Skuntank! Burn that Stunky in hell!" Skuntank snarled fiercely as it opened its mouth, unleasing hell's fury on Rose,"Flamethrower!" A trail of flames left Skuntank's mouth. The flamethrower hit Rose, severely, sending the young Stunky into a pile of coal, burned and fainted. The coal caught fire, but Rose managed to roll away against her will.

Diamond's eyes widen as he felt them water. But as he worried about Rose, Sam was the next victim. Skuntank released another Flamethrower on the Kirlia, sending it into the pile of flaming coal, severely burning it as well. Trident drenched the fire immediately with a Bubblebeam.

Jupiter smirked and said seductively, but at the same time menacingly," Ready to die, are we? Skuntank! Exterminate with Poison Fang!" Skuntank sprang forward as Trident was about to attack, however, it was bit by the poisonous fangs of the skunk Pokemon.

Trident fell to the ground, induced with the poisoned condition, and fainted. Diamond returned all of his battered and beaten Pokemon. Jupiter smirked evilly as Skuntank slowly neared Diamond, foaming at the mouth,"This could have been simple, boy! You made it hard on yourself. You leave me no choice." Something was spotted from the corner of Jupiter's eyes. A red jewel twinkled in the moonlight. She smiled and said satisfied,"Hmm."

The commander walked over to the red jewel, which was buried in a pile of coal, and picked it up. She looked back over to Diamond who was slowly backing away. A chuckled escaped Jupiter's mouth, but then a frown as she saw what was behind Diamond. Slowly, she disappeared into the night.

"That was a close one right?" A tall man behind Diamond said. Diamond jumped a bit, not expecting anyone behind him, much less a crowd of people. The man appeared to be in his early 20s. He had reddish brown hair, glasses, tan skin, and wore a grey mining suit with yellow and black striped. On his head was a red mining helmet. Damion stood beside the man and said," Sorry I'm late, Diamond. That Carnivine put up a good fight. I managed to catch it though. It was under the control of Team Galactic."

Diamond nodded and said,"My Stunky was once under the control of Team Galactic."

Damion looked up at the Man and then at Diamond,"This is Roark, he's Oreburgh's mining captain as well as the Gym Leader." Roark nodded at Diamond.

Later...

Roark led Diamond to the mines as Damion headed back to Oreburgh City. Roark began to explain what he knew about Team Galactic," You see, Team Galactic has 3 commanders: Jupiter, Mars, and Saturn; 3 executives: Venus, Neptune, and Pluto. And a maniac of a leader."

Diamond looked up at Roark, who was doing something witha rock. Roark shrugged and said,"Unfortunately, I don't know much about the leader, let alone his name. They're main goal has to do with outer space. If you ask me, they could've went to Mossdeep in Hoenn if they wanted to go to space. Take that crap elsewhere, you know?"

Roark released his Onic and ordered a Rock Smash. Onic slammed it's tail down on the rock, crushing it easily. A few pieces of rock flew everywhere, but nothing special came out. Diamond shielded his body as Roark said," That's a Rock Smash. Here." He handed the trainer a hidden machine,"It'll help you on your quest to stop Team Galactic. It's the HM Rock Smash."

Diamond nodded as he placed it in his inventory,"Thanks, but the Team Galactic controversy isn't my only journey. I'd like to challenge you to a gym battle."

Roark smirked and said,"Meet me at the gym."

It was midnight. but the time didn't stop Diamond from battling Roark. Before getting to Roark, Diamond easily defeated the gym trainers, only using Trident. Finally, the real match was about go underway.

Roark started off by releasing his Onix. The rock snake Pokemon roared as Diamond released Sam. The match proceeded. Diamond pointed forward,"Future Sight!" Sam's eyes started to glow as it foresaw an attack. Onix took this opportunity to Bind Sam between it's boulders.

Roark smirked and said,"Using Future Sight made your Kirlia an easy attacking target!"

Diamond clenched his fists and said," Confusion!" Sam, even while being squeezed by Onix, unleashed it's psychic power as Onix lost hold of the Kirlia.

Roark thrusted his hand forard,"Stealth Rock! Go!" Onix flung jagged, sharp rocks arond Sam, preventing escape.

Diamond looked confused ,"Ah..No problem! Calm Mind!" Sam began to relax, upping it's special stats. Onic proceeded to use Rock Smash, but was hit by Future Sight, causing the giant to fall, knocked out. Diamond smirked and said,"Alright! Good job Sam!" Sam nodded, still trapped between the rocks. Roark released his last Pokemon, a dinosaur-like creature with a large cranium.

Cranidos.

Roark wiped his nose with his index finger," Meet my tank, Cranidos. When he's through with you, you'll wish you never even came to Oreburgh City Gym!" Cranidos began to kick his left foot back and forward like a Rhyhorn. It lunged forward, headbutting Sam in the head. A critical hit!

Sam fell to the ground in a daze, but got up. Diamond took a deppe breath,"Oh man...Sam! Future Sight!" The Kirlia's eyes began to glow, but immediately afterwards, Cranidos headbutted Sam again, only this time, the marking on it's head was glowing.

"That was a Zen Headbutt! Now, for my favorite. Double Headbutt!" Roark snickered as Cranidos ran forward, headbutting Sam yet again. It sent the Kirlia into the air quickly. Cranidos jumped high into the air, above Sam, and headbutted it into the ground. Sam was blasted through the battlefield and created a hole, which it lay in, fainted.

Diamond's eyes widened as he returned Sam, looking across the battle field at Cranidos.

The prehistoric Pokemon started to glow. Roark laughed and said,"You'll be the first contestant to ever face my newly evolved....

...Rampardos!"

Cranidos grew larger; It's cranium growing bigger. Finally, it stopped growing and glowing, revealing Rampardos: A navy blue dinosaur with piercing red eyes, sharper horns, and a much larger, headbutting head. Diamond sighed and released Trident.

The Piplup looked up at Rampardos as the dinosaur Pokemon glared down at it, roaring loudly. Trident looked unmoved as it held up it's head proudly, wanting to be taken seriously in this final match. Diamond smiled a bit and said," Alright Trident! We've got a lot on our plate, so get ready to eat!" Diamond immediately began to come up with a plan, however, he wasn't exactly expecting Cranidos to evolve into a Rampardos! END.

(Next: Chapter 9: VS. Rampardos!)

The final chapter is approaching. Will Trident be victorious over Roark's tank, that is, Rampardos? Prepare for a great and entertaining battler as well as the conclusion to Volume One!

TurtleKing October 8th, 2007 10:52 AM

Chapter 9: VS. Rampardos! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa409.png

Rampardos roared to the heavens, but Trident stood its ground. Roark chuckled a bit and said," Bless it's heart. The little fella thinks its actually got a chance at winning!"

Diamond gulped," Enough talk! Trident, Bubblebeam!" Trident ran forward, spurting bubbles at Rampardos. The dinosaur Pokemon was hit, but it wasn't fazed that much.

Roark grinned," Rampardos, Ancient Power!" Magically, rocks appeared infront of Rampardos. It roared, sending the rocks at the Trident. The Piplup was hit continously. Immediately afterwards. Rampardos performed Double Headbutt, sending Trident crashing into a wall. Roark folded his arms as he thought to himself," Father told me to show no mercy to this kid. If he's going to stand a chance against what's ahead, he'll have to quit holding back."

Trident slowly fell face first off the wall. Diamond watched and winced, saying to himself," Gotta think of some way to stop Rampardos." He began to reminisce about an earlier event.

.....

Before Diamond went to the Pokemon Center, he was confronted by a man wearing hald a mask. The right side of his face was covered with a seemingly smiling mask. The man was dressed rather weirdly. He was wearing a purple armored top, with a black vest ontop of it so only the sleeves of the purple top showed, and purple slacks.

He spoke in a raspy voice," Hey kid, you want to defeat the gym leader easily?"

Diamond, wanting a competitive edge, nodded and said, "Sure."

The man snickered, "Give one of ya Pokemon this TM, Ice Beam. Ice type attacks are strong against rock type Pokemon. No thanks are neccessary. It's a personal gift."

Diamond looked confused as he furrowed his brows," Personal gift? From who?"

The man smirked and disappeared, however a voice could be heard," A gift from the Mask of Ice.."

His voice trailed off...


.....

"Hey kid!? You okay over their?"

Roark shouted, confused. Diamond had been in a trance for a little while. The gym leader shrugged and said, " Well, I guess I'll finish this! Rampardos, Double Headbutt!" Rampardos footsteps pounded the ground as it neared Trident.

Diamond clenched his fists, thinking back to his loss to Jupiter. He never wanted to see his Pokemon dominated like that ever again.

Trident stood, unmoved by the charging Rampardos, waiting on Diamond's command.

Diamond smirked and said," Trident, Ice Beam!" Trident instantly opened it's beak, unleashing winter's fury onto Rampardos. The headbutting Pokemon was stopped in its track, slowly backing away.

Roark chuckled and thought," Show me what you got kid!"

Diamond looked over at Roark as the gym leader shouted, "Take Down!" Rampardos broke through the Ice Beam, tackling Trident fiercely.

Trident was thrown back, but it fell on it's two feet. Without command, it used Ice Beam once more, thrashing Rampardos' stomach. Diamond thrusted his right hand forward,"Bubblebeam!" Trident switched beams as the bubbles pounded Rampardos' skull.

The pre-historic Pokemon fell to its knees, almost completely wiped out of its health points. Roark shook his head, "Tsk, tsk, he may be down, but he's not out Rampardos finish this now! ZEN HEADBUTT!"

Diamond scoffed," Trident, ICE BEAM!"

In a collision, smoke filled the battle field. On one end stood Roark, wondering what the outcome of the battle was. In his opinion, it was a win-win situation. If he won, well, he won. If he lost, he helped further the strength of a potential elite trainer.

On the other end stood Diamond, determined and eager as ever. For the first time in his life, he went with the flow of battle rather than plotting up some sort of strategy to win. For once battling felt less predictale.

.....

When the smoke cleared, it revealed Trident, standing, arms folded on top of a knocked out Rampardos. Diamond grinned happily as he said," Heh! We won!" Trident nodded as it merely walked back over to Diamond. Trident wasn't one for celebrating. Still, it looked happy.

Roark returned his Rampardos as he walked over torward Diamond and Trident," Congrats to you and your Pokemon. I reward you with the Coal Badge. It allows your Pokemon to use Rock Smash. Also, take this TM, Stealth Rock." He handed Diamond all of his rewards as Diamond placed them in his possession.

Later...

Diamond stood near the north of town at the Oreburgh Mining Musuem. Roark grinned and said," I'll tell you what kid, you promise me that you'll take care of Team Galactic, and I promise you a gift from the mines. Deal?"

Diamond nodded and agreed, "Deal!" The two shook hands as theyy said their goodbyes. Diamond was heading north to the short route to Eterna City.

Unknowingly, he was being watched by the masked man who gave him the TM, Ice Beam," Hmmhmm...now we're forever connected." He chuckled before disappearing...

Elsewhere...

Pearl has just arrived in Floaroma Town. She smiled to her Pokemon, Pyra and Aves, saying to them, "Welcome to Floaroma!"

Watching from the Valley Windworks, Mars smirked, as she said to her grunts, "Begin the next phase of our mission."

The grunts nodded and soluted their commander," Ma'am, yes, ma'am!"

When her grunts left, Mars stared out the window again, watching Pearl carefreely stroll around the flower filled town," Heh..heh..."

END

Volume 1 is completed!

Preview for Volume 2:

Questions

-What exactly does Mars have in plan for Pearl?
-What Pokemon does Pearl plan to catch with the Sweet Honey?
-What's the deal with those Psyducks anyway???

All this and more in Volume 2!

jb0000612 October 9th, 2007 4:19 AM

Wow. It's practically just like the manga. What I want to know is....do you have language packs installed to decode that baffling Japenese writing, or is it you or a friend?

TurtleKing October 9th, 2007 6:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jb0000612 (Post 2982450)
Wow. It's practically just like the manga. What I want to know is....do you have language packs installed to decode that baffling Japenese writing, or is it you or a friend?

No..no..no..Heh.

This is my own version of the Pokemon Diamond and Pearl Manga. All the ideas in this are either mines or inspired by the Poke Special Manga.

Due to confusion, I have changed the names in accordance to the way the game makers name the characters.

Diamond will remain Diamond.
Damion is now Pearl.
Pearl is now Dawn.

TurtleKing October 28th, 2007 3:14 PM

Chapter 10: VS. Drifloon! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa425.png

Floaroma Town was a flower-filled village. It appeared to even hypnotize people into adoring the flowers. Nonetheless, the town was peaceful. Or so it seemed...

To the northwest portion of the city, two Team Galactic members entered the Floaroma Meadow. As they entered, a man had his back to them, and he appeared to be standing on a ladder, taking some Sweet Honey from a Combee Hive. The old man began to whistle innocently, singing a lovely tune.

"Ah, it's a beautiful day as usual. Of course, it'll rain tonight. This here lovely city can't possibly stay bright and filled with flowers if it doesn't rain." The old man descended the tree,a pail full of Sweet Honey. As he turned around, the Team Galactic duo confronted the man," Give us yer Honey, if ya know what's good for yer!" The old man slowly backed away," No...no...NO!"

Meanwhile...

Dawn had just exited a local store, leaving out with a handful of dress up items," Boy, it's a good thing I came when I did! I would've never gotten these clothes had they not been on sale! I even got a Sprayduck and a free berry." She began folding the Dress Up Clothes and placed them in her backpack," Well, there's not much to do here...I guess I better keep on moving. Hearthome City is right around the corner."

Dawn continued on, walking along a bridge where she saw a girl crying her little eys out. The little girl was dressed in a yellow dress with a white collar, red dress shoes, and a red boy was elegantly tied in her short brown hair.

Dawn tilted her head confusedly and began to try and see what the problem was," Excuse me, is something the matter?"

The girl revealed her face, drowning in tears," -sniffle- Astronaut....They-took-my-daddy!!!! -hic--sniffle-"

Dawn instantly realized who the culprits were," Where did these 'astronauts' take your daddy?" She knelt down, looking the girl in her eyes.

The girl wiped away her tears," A building by the mountains. Up ahead!" She pointed to a red building, surrounded by 5 windmills. A large billboard had printed on it "The Valley Windworks". The girl faced her again," He works late every Friday, but he came home early this Friday. Then, he left back out because he forgot something. But he hasn't come back because I saw the 'astronauts' take him!"

Dawn stood and straightened down her skirt," I'll go get him. You go back home, okay?"

The girl nodded as she ran back to Floaroma.

Dawn shook her head as she neared Windworks," These guys have got to be kidding me. What could they possibly want with an old man?"

Dawn finally approached the frontdoor of Windworks. However, blocking her way was.....a purple balloon? "Loon.." It said mysteriously.

"A Drifloon." Dawn said cooly, already having it recorded in her Pokedex, but not captured. The Drifloon reared up and unleashed a minor gust onto Dawn, causing the girls skirt to fly up, revealing her lower body underwear. Luckily, no one was around to see her.

The girl immediately blushed as the Drifloon floated back and forth, seeming to laugh. Dawn was not pleased with this," You perv!" She took out a Pokeball and released Aves, her Staraptor," Aves! Teach this pervert a lesson!" Staravia, without command, smacked Drifloon with a Wing Attack. Drifloon thudded back onto the door.

Inside...

Mars shifted as she heard the thudding sound ," Hm..." She headed down the dark hall and looked into the room where the little girl's father was being held," Was that you? I told you couldn't escape." The man was tied to a chair, duck tape tied around his mouth, arms, and legs. A muffled sound was heard from the man. Mars smirked as she swayed her hips, nearing him as she sat in his lap," Oh, you want to escape?"

Slap!

The impact of the slap caused the man to fall to the floor," Not on your life, sport." Mars said calmly as she left the room, returning to her post.

Outside, Dawn had managed to almost completely weaken Drifloon. She took out a Great Ball and tossed it at Drifloon. The ball bounced off of the balloon Pokemon and wobbled one second before exploding.

Drifloon was not captured!

Dawn groaned and said," Alright, dammit!" Aves took flight again, awaiting for a command now.

Drifloon, however, didn't wait. It pounded Aves with one of it's strings, coming back at twice the power that Aves had sent its way. Payback.

Dawn began to get frustrated. She returned Aves and released Pyra, her reliable starter Pokemon, a Chimchar. Pyra began to engulf her body in flames as she rolled into a ball. Dawn grinned as she called out her signature move," Flame Wheel!"

Pyra shot forward, slamming into Drifloon's face and ricocheting off of it. Pyra landed on it's feet, waiting for the outcome.

Drifloon slowly floated to the ground; it's eyes now were X's.

Dawn took out another Great Ball and tossed it at Drifloon. The purple balloon Pokemon was instantly captured. Dawn ran over and picked the Pokeball up," Now you won't be able to peep at girls anymore, Peep." She said, naming her newly acquired Drifloon.

Suddenly, the door opened as Mars stood there, clapping her hands slowly," Bravo. Brava! Quite a performance from a halfway decent coordinator! Your precious little Pyra and Staravia are beautiful, yet weak."

Dawn sneered as she stared back at the red headed woman," Heh...thanks for the compliment, I wish I could say the same for your putrid pale face. Ever heard of the sun?"

Mars stood in the shadow of the building and said," Quiet! Beauty is never a requirement in battle. However, strength is much needed. Purugly! Front and center!"

From the shadows inside the house, emerged a large blue and white, fat cat looking Pokemon. It's ears were large and pointed; it's tail similar to a spring," Puuuuur..." It said in a way that would give you goosebumps.

Dawn's eyes twitched at the sight of the disgusting looking Pokemon," Eh....eh...."

Mars smirked and said," Oh my? Purugly got your tounge?"

The Purugly roared again before jumping up rather quickly for it's size, and slamming into Dawn's stomach. The girl was sent across the field, thudding into the ground.

Mars smirked," Quick Attack is an Egg Move of Purugly. Team Galactic always makes sure they have the best Pokemon. What are you going to do child? Your scrawny contest Pokemon are no match for my powerhouse Pokemon! Mwaha!"

Dawn stood, holding her stomach, thinking to herself," She's right....I'm no match for a Purugly....Damn..What am I gonna do?"

END.

(Next: Chapter 11: VS. Purugly!)

Dogar The Brave October 30th, 2007 7:06 PM

dis is pretty good
 
its pretty good.,

a few more paragraphs like Jax was sayin earlier..

one of da best fanfic i hav seen so far!

TurtleKing November 1st, 2007 4:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord94 (Post 3033956)
its pretty good.,

a few more paragraphs like Jax was sayin earlier..

one of da best fanfic i hav seen so far!

Yeah, I was thinking about that too. I didn't want to make the chapters so long that it didn't attract reviewers and viewers. I'll lengthen the chapters. Thanks for the comments and crit! :)

TurtleKing November 12th, 2007 3:03 PM

Alright, this fic is not dead and/or dying. I'm currently in the works of doing VS. Purugly! I'm also thinking of making chapter screenshots!

Also, I'm thinking about tying the three Legendary Lake Pokemon to our main characters. I'll keep it a secret until further along in the story. Maybe once they're in Canalave.

TurtleKing November 12th, 2007 3:49 PM

Chapter 11: VS. Purugly http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa432.png

Dawn sat there on the ground, staring up at the evil that was Mars and her Purugly. At the moment, Dawn's Pokemon, Pyra, Aves, and Peep, were all wiped out from the battle they eached participated in. Unfortunately, Dawn didn't bring any of her extra Pokemon she had at the lab.

Oh well.

Dawn stood up, straightening out her skirt," Alright then." She placed her fists up," Put'em up!"

Mars burst into laughter and said," You cannot be serious! How dare you insult me with asking for a fight. I'll take you out of your misery. Purugly, Quick Attack!" Purugly dove forward to attack. It's face piling with sweat from the intense heat coming from the sun.

Almost immediately after Purugly dove torward her, Dawn slammed a sphere-shaped item on the ground, bringing up smoke. As the smoke cleared, the girl was gone.

Mars looked around for the girl, but Dawn had already entered the Windworks. This caused the Galactic Commander to become very annoyed," Try to trick me, will you? Purugly, after her!"

The tiger cat Pokemon raced into the building with Mars following closely.

Dawn ascended the steps of the inside, panting for breathe," Luckily, I had that Smoke Ball, otherwise I'd been cat food." She elegantly jumped to the top of the steps, only to hear a door slam from the lower level," Damn it, she caught me."

She heard a muffled cry for help in the next room and quickly sprinted into the office-like room. There, the little girl's father was on the floor, tied to a chair, and gasping for help. Within a minute, Dawn untied the man as he began to thank her," Oh, thank you for rescuing me!"

Dawn looked to the entrance of the office and said," Save it for later."

Mars stood tall, smirking down at them," Alright, it's the end of the line, for real this time."

Dawn got to her feet and said," You're right. For you anyway." She took out a Pokeball, and released Pyra, her Chimchar.

Confused, Pyra looked back to it's trainer, knowing it only had a certain amount of hit points left," I know you're tired, girl, but this is important."

Pyra nodded, and slowly turned to face the ugly-looking Pokemon.

Mars didn't hesitate any further," Hypnosis! " Purugly slowly opened it's mouth, releasing a spiral wave of energy. However, Pyra managed to dodge the attack with ease, because of her nimble moves.

Dawn smirked and thought to herself," Pyra and I have done some intense training since we lost to Diamond. She should be close to it by now..."

Pyra curled itself into a ball, and without command, blasted forward in a ball of fire. The Flame Wheel ricocheted off Purugly's face as the Tiger Cat Pokemon grimaced in pain.

Pyra released the heat from around her body, as she panted tiredly," Chim..." She said fatigued.

Just then, Pyra started to glow, slowly increasing in size. Dawn smiled to herself, not pressing the button on her Pokedex that would prevent Pyra from evolving into...

In place of what once was a Chimchar, was now a taller monkey with a different shade of orange fur. Around it's neck was what looked like white fur. Above her nose was a red marking which changed into a blue circular formation around her eyes. Her tail was much longer and had a longer strand of fire at the tip. Her hands were also much bigger and at the forearms were gold marking that went around her arms.

..."Mon...Monferno!"

Pyra raised her arms happily, admiring her newly evolved form. Her energy was now restored!

Mars looked uneasy,"...Purugly! Quick Attack" Purugly dove forward torwards Pyra.

Dawn smirked cutely and said," You should know, Pyra is now much faster than your Purugly now. She has a new attack, according to my Pokedex. Pyra, Mach Punch!"

Pyra leaped up into the air, and seemingly vanished.

Purugly looked around.

BAM!

Pyra had appeared infront of the confused Pokemon and punched it so hard that it flew into Mars.

The man smiled happily and said," Mach Punch is a Fighting-Type attack. Your Purugly isn't doing so well after that attack."

Dawn looked down at a knocked out Mars," Eh..Neither is she. Well, we better get outta here before ol' witch here wakes up."

Later...

Dawn waved goodbye to the little girl and her father as she headed torward the Eterna Forest.

Meanwhile...

Mars was somewhere up in a Honey Tree on Route 205, tears in her eyes as her nose was bloody red from being hit in the face by Purugly, when the tiger cat Pokemon was hit by Pyra's Mach Punch.

She held out a communication device as a man with spikey, sky-blue hair appeared on the screen," Status report, Commander Mars."

Mars sniffled," Mission...-sniffle-...not accomplished."

The man on the screen turned his head as the screen turned black.

Mars burst into tears once more, only to fall out of tree and be knocked out cold again.

(Next: Chapter 12: VS. Burmy!)

Notice: Sorry for the short chapter. This was just a Mars intro chapter. As you can see, she's very.....bizarre. Heh, anyway, be prepared for more surprises in the next chapter! You can guess that the next chapter will be in Eterna Forest.

Volume 2 will be a somewhat comic relief Volume.

TurtleKing November 17th, 2007 1:41 PM

Chapter 12: VS. Burmy! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa412.png

The sun was slowly heading torwards the western portion of Sinnoh.

Dawn looked down at the Poketch on her wrist, noticing it was about 5:00 in the afternoon. It was Friday, meaning Dawn's plan to make to Eterna City by Saturday was going well. Currently, she was in the seemingly endless Eterna Forest. The entire forest was filled with tall grass, trees, and Sweet Honey trees. All the while, Dawn placed the Sweet Honey she received from Floaroma Town on the appropiate tree.

She knew that one of the Professor's assistants would stop by the trees in 12hours. Dawn seemed to be interested in finding a certain Pokemon who only appears in Honey Trees.

As she walked, Dawn gently scratched her arms," Ah. This is a Bug-type Pokemon's paradise."

Besides this, it all seemed boring, yet peaceful.

Until...

Dawn looked up in a tree, noticing a tall, slender young lady with emerald green hair. She was dressed in a long-sleeve emerald dress and forest green boots.

The woman appeared to be struggling at maintaining her balance on the branch of the tree," Oh....I! Ah!" The woman quickly fell out of the tree and landed on Dawn.

Dawn fell onto her back as the young lady fell ontop of her.

Luckily no one saw this, or else this would be a very pleasing moment; especially for a young man.

Or even a woman...

The lady quickly stood, as she dusted herself off, " Oh, my apologies. I was searching for my Burmy. It ran away from me while I was trying to breed it. I'm Cheryl by the way."

Dawn stood up as well, cleaning her self off, " I'm Dawn." She stretched her arms out before sighing melodiously," Had it been one of my Pokemon, I'd've been crying by now." She smiled happily and said," I can help you find your Burmy if you'd like. Not that I have much to do in here anyway, just need something to keep me occupied."

The two young women decided to travel together through the forest.

As they began their escapade through Eterna Forest, they failed to find any sign of Cheryl's Burmy. All the while, Dawn held off wild Buneary, Wurmple, and Kricketots with her Staravia, Aves, and her Drifloon, Peep.

Meanwhile...

A young man and lady surrounded Cheryl's Burmy torwards the edge of the forest. They were dressed in wacky, and strangely, casual clown suits and had a quarter of a mask covering the top left corner of their faces.

"Oh now you in big trouble, Burmy!" The man said dimwittedly. A Murkow was perched on his shoulder.

The woman nodded, as her Misdreavus floated beside her," Now, you no run from us!"

The bagworm Pokemon glared up at the two, shaking it's leaves violently," Burm! Burmy!"

The man yelped," See you no know we are the Dusk Twins. I Mark and she Marcis!" Marcia nodded immediately and repeatively in agreement as Burmy became tired of this useless introduction.

It instantly sprinted away from the Dusk Twins, leaving a trail of green leaves behind it.

While Cheryl and Dawn were searching for Burmy, they noticed the trail of leaves, leading to a rock literally smothered in moss.

Dawn approached the rock as Cheryl watch from a distance.

Suddenly, Burmy shot up from behind the rock, clinging to Dawn's shoulder. Cheryl giggled," Yep, that's her!"

Dawn managed to calm the Burmy down, as she slowly held it in her arms, hugging it to her bosom," Oh my goodness! It's so adorable!" Tears began to run down her cheeks.

Cheryl chuckled at the emotional girl," I caught this Burmy to mate with my Mothim. However, it struggles to evolved into Wormadam. Also, it appears to be attached to you, literally."

Burmy squirmed it's way out of Dawn's grasp and clung onto her navy blue hair.

Dawn sighed," Well, I am attractive aren't I?"

"Stop in name of Ice!!!"

What could possibly be the source of this horrible grammar? None other than the Dusk Twins, of course!

Mark stood there, hands on his hips as his right eye blinked, annoyed," What in name of Ice you doing with me Burmy!?"

Marcia glared at her brother," You mean our Burmy, brother."

Mark nodded and said," Our Burmy!"

Cheryl placed her hands on her hips now as she yelled back," Excuse me, but that Burmy belongs to Dawn now. You can't have it!"

Dawn nodded as the Burmy rested on her shoulder. She whispered to it gently, uttering it's nickname," Queen."

Mark and Marcia both yelled in Unison," We no take that. Go Murkrow! Go Misdreavus!" The dark crow Pokemon and the banshee Pokemon both darted torwards Cheryl and Dawn.

Dawn smiled as she said," Let me handle this, Cheryl!" She took out Peep's Pokeball, and released the purple balloon Pokemon," Stockpile!"

Peep slowly inhaled a large amount of air, as it began to increase in size. It's body started to give off a pink aura as it's defense increased.

However, Murkrow managed Peck Peep right on the yellow X of the Drifloon's face. Also, Misdreavus face became very intimidating as it used Mean Look to prevent Peep from being recalled.

Dawn smiled and said," Like I'd recall Peep anyway." Queen watched from Dawn's shoulder, admiring the beauty of Peep's Stockpile aura.

Cheryl smiled and said," I'd like to help! Go Chansey!" She took out a Pokeball and tossed it beside Peep, releasing the giant, pink Pokemon, Chansey," My Chansey is different from normal ones. It loves to attack." Chansey nodded as Cheryl commanded an Iron Tail, while Peep Stockpile once more.

Chansey ran forward, whipping it's slightly long, stub tail across Murkrow and Misdreavus's body.

Mark looked displeased on the sideline," Marcia, your Misdreavus no strong. You hold back Murkrow!"

Marcia glared back at her brother," No, your Murkrow act like dufus!"

The Dusk Twins continued bickering as Peep Stockpiled yet again as Dawn asked the two a question," Do you two spit on each other?"

The twins ceased their bickering and said together," No, no, no."

Dawn smirked," Hmm...Funny. Peep enjoys spitting. Spit Up!"

Peep opened it's mouth and exhaled a large beam of pink energy torwards Murkrow, sending it flying into Misdreavus; which sent the two Pokemon flying into their trainers.

Dawn smirked happily as she returned Peep," You see Queen? I can make you that elegant in battle like Peep." Queen smiled happily as Cheryl and Dawn walked over, looking down at the Dusk Twins and their Pokemon.

Their clothes were partially torn as their eyes were spinning out of their sockets," Ew, that's gross." Dawn said, disapprovingly as her nose wrinkled.

Cheryl looked on," Should we just leave them here?"

Dawn nodded as Cheryl shrugged. The two walked away from the "massacre" as they edged torwards the end of the forest.

Cheryl smiled as the forest finally cleared into Eterna City," Ah, Eterna City. Now I can go home. Where are you going?"

Dawn smiled as she looked out into the city," I'm looking for a friend of mine to help me with something." She thought to her self,' Stop in the name of Ice? "

Cheryl blinked," A friend?"

Meanwhile...

Diamond was on a bridge near the entrance to Eterna Forest. He was currently battling his newly acquired Pachirisu against a Fisherman with six Magikarp.

Diamond looked very annoyed by this as he watched his Pachirisu spark the fish Pokemon into unconsciousness. Diamond walked off as Pachirisu hopped after him," Ah...I hate Magikarp trainers..."

END.

(Next: Chapter 13: VS. Chatot!)

Author's Note: This is one of my favorite chapters. I love Mark and Marcia and their stupidity.

TurtleKing November 21st, 2007 7:42 AM

Chapter 13: VS. Chatot! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa441.png

Overnight, Dawn had stayed in the Eterna Pokemon Center.

The next morning, Dawn was quick to rise, because she needed to withdraw her two Buizels from her box. The two Water-type Pokemon were respectively male and female. One had two yellow circles on it's back, while the other only had one.

However, there was no sign of any Pokemon originating from Honey Trees in her PC.

Dawn sighed as she returned her two Buizels into their Pokeballs," Just my luck!"

She exited the Pokemon Center, and began to explore the outskirts of the city of Eterna. Eterna truly was a city of living history. Near the eastern portion of town, there were to large statues of ancient Pokemon.

To the left was statue, carved in blue marble. It was a quadruped that looked somewhat dinosaur-like. Added features was what seemed to be a chestplate and a carved replica of a diamond. On its back were wing-like structures and a crest up on its head. It also had long claws and a short tail.

The other statue was carved out of what appeared to be a darker fuchsia marble. It was a bipedal, but looked less dinosaur-like than the other statue across from it. This statue stood upright and possessed wings as well. On it's shoulder were plates with two carved marbles that looked like pearl in the center of each plate. It appeared to have a long neck and powerful tail.

These two statues faced each other as if they were about to battle.

Dawn was lost in the beauty and perfection of these two statues. Tears began to slide down her cheeks like raindrops as she wiped them away," They're both beautiful! What luck to be in the prescence of a masterpiece!"

Then...

"Did you say luck?"

Dawn turned around as a young boy approached Dawn and said," I'm willing to trade a super rare Pokemon that will bring you luck, for a mere, female Buizel."

Dawn smiled to herself as she thought," Hm, a super rare Pokemon? I already have one Buizel so it's almost a gimme!" She looked at the boy and said," You've got a deal."

She reached into her bag and took out her female Buizel's Pokeball and headed to the Pokemon Center.

Later in the Pokemon Center, Dawn and the boy were up stairs, just now completing their trade. The boy nodded happily," Gracias!" With these final words, he quickly ran off for currently unknown reasons.

Dawn smiled happily as she waved," De Nada!" She looked at her newly acquired Pokemon's Pokeball and said," Alright! Time to see what Pokemon you are!"

Dawn lobbed the ball into the air as it popped open, letting out a white, heavenly light," I just hope you're not a..."

The Pokemon finally materialized before Dawn, flapping it's wings as the flew infront of her.

This Pokemon had blue wings with yellow feathers in the interior of them. It's breast was a yellow color, with lime green body feathers below the breast. Equally yellow talons shook as the bird Pokemon flew. Around it's neck were white, mane-like feathers. It's head and tail were both jet black. A pink beak and an eye with pink eyelids were on the musical-note shaped head of this creature. "Tot!"

"...a...CHATOT!!!!???" Dawn was outraged," Anything but this annoying bird!!"

As a child, Dawn was always annoyed by Chatot and it's constant chattering and blabbering. Now, she's stuck with it; unless she was to release it. In fact, Dawn had gone outside to so.

Until...

"Heh, that's just like you to release Pokemon."

Dawn looked around to face wherever the source of the voice was coming from. Then, her eyes met Diamond's as he stood infront of her, Rose, Trident, Sam, and his newly acquired Pachirisu, Dexter, at his side," You should at least give it a chance."

Dawn sneered at the boy and said," Ah...Fine, Mr. Know-It-All. I'll keep it."

Later...

Diamond led Dawn to the southern portion of Eterna, to a certain spot infront of a house. Before they reached that spot, Dawn told Diamond about the Dusk Twins and how they kept referring "Ice" as if it were a god. Diamond sighed and said," Well, this first time I've heard about someone calling ice their 'savior'."

He returned Rose and Dexter to their Pokeballs, leaving out Trident and Sam, his Piplup and Kirlia, " Pearl and I encountered some clowns in Jubilife." As the two started conversating, Diamond took out a drill and began to dig into the Earth with the help of Sam and Trident.

Pearl tilted her head to the side," What the hell are you doing?"

Diamond didn't looked up at her and continued to the drill," I'm going back down to Sinnoh Underground. There's something important that I have to show you."

Once he completed digging, Dawn looked through the hole as a voice echoed up to her," Jump! Jump! Jump!"

Dawn was unsure at first, but she gathered her courage and jumped through the hole leading to the underground.

As she landed softly on dirt, Dawn looked around in awe," Wow, we're underground? There's a ton of lights down here."

Diamond nodded," Yeah. This place has been occupying my time for a while. Thanks to this old guy in Eterna." He led Dawn through the Underground," Check this out," he cupped his hands around his mouth," HELLO!!!"

However, there was no echo going in that certain direction.

Dawn looked confused," There's no echo."

Diamond nodded once more as they reached a corner. He peeked around it and glanced at a machine that was blocking the path," Now normally, trainer would be down here, setting traps for games like capture the flag. However, that machine is no trainer-set trap."

Dawn comprehended, as she nodded her head.

"That machine was built by Team Galactic. You can tell by the logo on the top right corner of the machine." The machine was in the shape of a large, silver boom box," We have to destroy it. I've learned that the machine transforms sound energy into space energy." Diamond looked to Dawn," So, unfortunately I need your help."

Dawn rolled her eyes and said," Fine."

Eventualy, Pyra, her Monferno, was released. The machine was made of steel so Fire and Fighting-type attacks would be effective against it," Pyra's evolved since you've last seen her. Your little Piplup hasn't even reach the level to evolve, has it?"

Diamond sighed as he looked elsewhere," I'm allowing Trident to learn moves faster before he evolves. In face, he's learned all the moves he needs to know. One more level-up, and he'll evolve."

Diamond's attention was now on the machine," Maybe I can short circuit this thing." He reached into his pocket and brought out Dexter's Pokeball, releasing the Pachirisu. Dexter began charging positive and negatives charges in his cheeks before tackling the machine with an electrical charge.

Unfortunately, this only gave the machine more power. A sweatdropped appeared on the side of Diamond's forehead.

Dexter definately wasn't too happy with itself as it began to suicidally shock itself. With a groan, Diamond put the Pachirisu out of its misery and returned it to it's Pokeball. He looked over at Dawn, embarrased," Dex believes in personal corporal punishment if it fails."

Dawn was outraged," You idiot! You charged the machine even further! "

Her voice became high louder as the machine absorbed the sounds, shifting a bit as if it were unable to take the volume and magnitude of Dawn's voice.

Then, Dawn thought of an idea.

She returned Pyra to her Pokeball, failing to use her, and released her newly acquired Chatot, nicknamed Tater.

Once he popped out of his Pokeball, Tater began to utter and repeat words that Dawn had told it earlier.

Diamond scratched his head and said," Great, an annoying Pokemon for an equally annoying trainer. I know I told you not to release him, but of what use is he to this situation?" He folded his arms as Dawn glared at him.

She took out a Super Contest Microphone from her yellow bag and flipped the switch on," Tater-you-idiot!!! You-can't-do-anything-right!!! Ahhhhhh!!! "

The Chatot took in the words, nodding rapidly," Tot! TATER-YOU-IDIOT! Tot! YOU-CAN'T-DO-ANYTHING-Tot-ANYTHING-RIGHT! Tot! Chatot! AHHHHHH!"

As Tater loudly repeated what Dawn said, cyan blue, visible sound waves zipped torwards the sound-absorbing machine.

As the machine attempted to absorb the sounds , it began to malfunction. Because of this, smoke came out of the backside of the machine. With the smoke came roaring flames.

Dawn grinned happily as she said," Now, you can contribute by having your puny Piplup douse that fire."

Diamond sighed and got right to it.

--

Later, as Diamond and Dawn made their way to the surface, they decided to explore the town, to Diamond's dismay. He really wanted to catch up to Pearl who had already received Eterna City's badge. However, Dawn told Damion as they entered the bike shop that it was better for him if he took two steps forward and one step back, unlike Pearl.

"They said that in a movie." Dawn said, smiling.

Diamond sighed in disapproval," I don't have time for this. I have a badge to win and I have to get to Mt. Coronet first." He walked out the door quickly and thought," She out smarted me and destroyed that machine."

Dawn eyes Diamond as he left," ..." She walked to the counter of the bike shop.

A young man around his 20's appeared behind Dawn," If you're looking for the owner, he just went to North Eterna. 'Said he had some business to take care of."

Dawn nodded at the man as she walked out the door, heading north.

In contrast, Diamond headed south.

--

Meanwhil...

The bike shop owner and his Buneary were being abused by the Galactic Admin, Jupiter, in a room at the highest floor of the building. The building was known as the Team Galactic Eterna Headquarters to fellow members. But citizens of Eterna thought of it as a regular building.

Jupiter smirked as she cracked the whip in her hand on the floor," So, are you willing to give me what I've asked for?"

The bike shop owner had whip marks on his arms. The Buneary had whip makrs on it's back as well.

" I..I....I can't."

-whiplash!-

---

Dawn had just approached the trees near the HQ. Pyra, already out of her Pokeball, was cutting trees down.

Elsewhere, Diamond's Gym challenge had jsut been accpeted by a Gym Trainer. However, he had to find her in an artificial forest inside the gym, as well as battle against the Pokemon who inhabited the forest.

As Diamond walked cautiously with Sam, Rose, and Trident, little did he know that a group of the gyms Pokemon quietly stalked him from behind...

END

(Next: Chapter 14: Torterra!)

Author's Note: A long chapter for my devoted readers! I hope you like this chapter

TurtleKing December 1st, 2007 9:38 PM

Chapter 14: VS. Torterra http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa389.png

Inside Eterna Gym...

Diamond looked around the Gym forest, cautiously, trying to find the Gym Leader, Gardenia," Eh. What kind of Gym challenge is this? Normally you would just go in and battle the leader, but no, I have to find her. God, this forest is almost as big as Eterna Forest."

As Diamond ventured on, he headed up somewhat of a hill that led to a tree with large rocks, similar to a miniature mountain, beside the tree. Diamond decided to rest for a while, returning his Pokemon to their Pokeballs.

Suddenly, the ground below him started to lift up, and a roar came down from below him. It appeared that Diamond had ascended ontop of the Pokemon, Torterra!

The Torterra roared loudly, shaking it's body to get Diamond of it.

Immediately, Diamond jumped off and faced the giant tortoise Pokemon," Ah, a Torterra. Pearl's go that in his future if he evolves Gaia all the way, and I'm sure he will." He landed on one knee as he stared down the creature.

Torterra roared once more as it shook it's leaves in the tree on it's back. The leaves began to fly out and zipped torwards Diamond.

Diamond's eyes widen," Ack, a Razor Leaf!" He dodged the leaves by diving out of the way, landing behind a tree.

The Torterra looked around for the trainer, stomping it's feet across the lush green grass, before storming out of sight.

Diamond got out from behind the tree, and exhaled, now that he was safe," That was a close one. Good thing Torterra's slow."

---

Meanwhile,

Dawn had just entered Team Galactic's Eterna HQ. As she entered, the doors behind her slowly slid together, closing themselves, as a female grunt walked up to Dawn," Welcome to Team Galactic's Eterna Headquarters. If you wish to handover your Pokemon, please go to the top flo-"

Pyra jumped up quickly, Mach Punching the grunt in her face. Dawn smirked, as she placed her hands on her hips," Quit the small talk, lady." She stared down at the lady on the ground.

She was out cold, a red bruise was on her forehead.

Pyra folded her arms happily as Dawn led the way up the steps.

Apparently, word got out that an intruder was inside the HQ. Of course, Dawn didn't care.

The first floor consisted of two grunts, male and female. The male grunt released a Glameow, while the female grunt released a Wurmple.

Dawn smirked and said," Are you serious!?" She returned Pyra," You've earned enough experience, girl, time to share the glory." She took out two Pokeballs, releasing her Buizel and Queen, her Burmy.

As Queen was released, her body began to shape into a differnet form. The green leaves on her body turned into a tough, pink coat. Dawn squealed in excitement," Oh! So cute!!!"

Queen smiled happily and began to bounce around at it's new form.

The male grunt snarled," Shut it! Glameow, Fuury Swipes!"

Glameow leaped forward rather lazily and slashed it's claws at Dawn's Buizel.

Dawn smirked and said," You gotta be better than that to stop Boomer! Aqua Jet!"

Boomer smirked as well as it's body was surrounded by a torrent of water, blocking Glameow's Fury Swipes. In return, it rushed torwards the cat Pokemon, sending it flying into the wall, knocking it out.

The male grunt surrendered.

Now , it was the female grunt's turn. She pointed her hand forward," Wurmple String-"

Pow!

Burmy's body was surrounded by white crystals. The crystals slowly shot away from her body and slammed into Wurmple; an instant knockout.

The female grunt now surrendered, herself.

Dawn winked at the two and said," A tip: Just because you get Pokemon from other trainers, doesn't mean you don't have to train them."

She ran up the next flight of stairs to the 3rd Floor.

--

Back in Eterna Gym.

A curvy young woman around nineteen years of age, watched Diamond wander helplessly in the Gym forest in a room with a surveillance camera-view.

She smiled happily as a cherry-looking Pokemon rested on her shoulder," I wander how long will it take for him to find the tree, Cherubi."

Cherubi smiled happily on her shoulder. It was a cute Pokemon: Red skin, a spherical body with a seemingly extra head with it's eyes closed, green leaves on the top of it's head, and a kawaii expression on it's face.

The young woman's name was Gardenia. She was the official Gym Leader of the Eterna Gym.

Her appearance was very appealing: She had orange hair with bangs hanging onto her forehead, which was covered by a black headband. Her torso was covered by a green pullover with a black shirt underneath. Her lower body attire consisted of light brown pants with a black belt, and dark brown boots. Her black shirt showed her toned stomach and her low rise pants showed a small portion of her curvy figure.

As Diamond ventured on, he rested by a tree, sighing heavily," Man, I've been in here for hours and haven't found anything but Pokemon, Grass, Trees, and AH-CHOO! Sneezes."

As he rested on the tree, it grabbed him, pulling him down into a hole in the tree.

Diamond began to slide down a tube until he reached a light at the end of it, landing on more grass, however, this grass was purely battlefield.

At the other end stood Gardenia, hands on her hips," Hey there!"

Diamond stood, dusting himself off," Hey yourself." He said, sarcastically," What the hell is the deal sending me through that torture?"

Gardenia beamed at the boy," Oh, you haven't even been on the tough Sinnoh route, quit your yappin'. Now, Byron told me to give you a hard time and that's exactly what I gave ya!"

Diamond blinked and said," Byron? Why does that name sound fam-"

"Alright!! Time to start this match! Let's go Cherubi!"

Cherubi jumped off of Gardenia's shoulders and elegantly flipped infront of her, ready for battle.

Diamond stared across the battle field as he took out a Pokeball, lobbing it into the air," Let's go, Rose!"

The Stunky materialized infront of Diamond as it shook it's purple fur," Stunk! Stunky!"

Diamond smirked and said," Alright, Poison Gas!"

Rose turned around and began to shake it's butt at Cherubi, teasingly.

Cherubi looked confused as Gardenia burst into laughter," Ah, tell your Stunky that we're not at a night club!"

Rose continued to do so until it....flatulated. A purple gas exited Rose's behind as it neared Cherubi, surrounding the cherry Pokemon's face before fully poisoning the foe. Cherubi coughed and hacked as Gardenia looked on.

Gardenia gritted her teeth," Ooh, nice one. Now it's my turn! Sunny Day!" The ceiling of the gym had a large opening. The sun was out, but now it was beaming brighter than ever. Gardenia winked across the battle field and said," Now, let's speed things up, shall we?"

Cherubi dashed torwards Rose quicker than ever. Rose looked confused, before being tackled.

Rose fell backwards infront of Diamond, but shook it off and stood up.

Diamond nodded as Cherubi winced, slowly losing 1/16th of it's HP," Rose, let's keep poisoning Cherubi, Poison Sting!"

Rose's fur stood up, releasing a swarm of purple needles torwards Cherubi, all of which hit the cherry Pokemon, knocking it out.

Gardenia frowned, returning her Pokemon," Aw man, that was almost too easy for you," she smiled now," But now, it get hard. Roserade, come on out!" From the canopy of a tree came down a bouquet looking Pokemon.

Diamond looked up and said," What? It looks like a superhero!"

Roserade landed on the ground smoothly before standing up straight and saying cooly," Rose." It stared down Rose and Diamond. Roserade had a green body, with long pastel green, stem like hands which led to flowers; on the right stem was a red rose and on the left, a blue rose. Around it's neck was a yellow collar and it's face was covered by a green masquerade mask. It's hair look similar to that of a white rose.

Gardenia smiled and said,"I envy you for naming your Stunky, Rose, but now, it's time to put this Rose in the trash where it belongs."

Diamond and Rose glared back at the opposing trainers as the match started to heat up.

---

Back at Team Galactic Eterna HQ, Dawn's final challenge before the top floor was against a scientist with a Kadabra. The scientist stared at Dawn maniacally," I am the last line of defense! You musn't and will not pass. Kadabra, Psybeam!"

The Kadabra lifted it's twisted spoon, sending a spectrum of light torward Dawn's Drifloon, Peep.

The beam his Peep dead on, but did little damage. Dawn smiled and said,' Alright Peep, time to get to the top of this tower. Shadow Ball!"

Peep inhaled the maximum amount of oxygen, as it's balloon body began to expand to the size of 4 watermelons put together. Eventually, it released a large black and purple blob torwards Kadabra and the scientist both, knocking them both into a computer, electrocuting them.

Dawn returned Peep and hurried up the final flight of steps and emerged at the top floor.

What she saw was a man on the floor, as well as a Buneary. Both of them had whip marks across their bodies and appeared to be knocked out.

-whiplash!-

Dawn quickly jumped and turned around to face the Galactic Admin, Jupiter.

Jupiter smirked as she stroked her magenta hair," Hm...Let me guess. You're one of Rowan's?"

Dawn didn't answer her as Jupiter chuckled.

"Hm, not talking , eh? Fine with me. I let my Pokemon do the talking anyway." She took out two Pokeballs, releasing Golbat and Skuntank," You've invaded our building, now I'm taking you down and taking your Pokemon, honey."

Dawn stood ready as she held two Pokeballs in her hands," Bring it, hag."

END.

Author's Note: Phew...

( Next: Chapter 15: VS. Roserade)

ASHYLEGS December 2nd, 2007 8:26 AM

Wow this is awesome! It's keeping me on the edge of my seat!

Eruption December 2nd, 2007 8:54 AM

I've read the first chapter.

Amazing description,

liked the tv bit.

TurtleKing December 3rd, 2007 7:39 PM

Chapter 15: VS. Roserade http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa407.png

Thoughts came storming through Diamond's mind as he tried to strategize a way to beat Gardenia's Roserade. Sure enough, he had a type advantage, but he hadn't exactly trained Rose up to the level of Roserade.

"Eh, this looks easy, yet it's tough." Diamond thought to himself as Gardenia proceeded with the first move.

"Roserade, Grass Knot!"

Roserade sprinted forward, it's eyes glowing green as the grass beneath Rose grew taller, tying around her legs. Now that Rose was trapped, it left her vulnerable for attack.

Diamond gritted his teeth and didn't command any counter," She's low on HP anyway. Sorry Rose, you'll have to take one for the team."

Gardenia smirked as she thrusted her hand forward," Use Return!"

Roserade's eyes turned back to normal as it made an all out blitz at Rose. When Roserade collided with Rose, the Stunky was freed from the Grass Knot, but it slammed into the bark of a tree, slowly sliding to the grass, defeated.

Roserade landed on the ground elegantly, but flinched severly. Gardenia looked confused, noticing her bouqet Pokemon was coughing from mysterious purple gases around her," What's going on? Your Stunky has been wiped out!"

Diamond smirked and said," Ha! A Gym Leader not knowing Stunky's special ability, Aftermath? If Stunky is defeated by using a physical attack, well, it lets off a rancid, poisonous gas, taking away some of the foes HP."

Gardenia frowned and said," Well, I don't keep up with stinky Pokemon. I only like my wonderful smelling Pokemon, thank you very much."

Diamond took out another Pokeball and thought ot himself," Alright, she's down to one Pokemon. Trident and Dex are definately no use against a Roserode. So my only option is Sam."

---

Meanwhile,

Jupiter's Golbat and Skuntank completely overpowered Dawn's Buizel, Boom Boom, and her Chatot, Tater.

Dawn released her Burmy, Queen, and her Drifloon, Peep, but they too were totally owned byb Skuntank and Golbat. Pyra was already fatigued from earlier battles leading up to this point, so she was of no use.

Aves, the Staravia, was released from his Pokeball as the starling Pokemon took flight just below the ceiling, glaring over at Golbat.

Jupiter smirked and said," A weak bird Pokemon? Hah! Just like a mediocre trainer. You fail to look for power. Power is what you lack. In fact, you lack everything. Heh, you may have defeated Mars, but for sure you won't get by me with bird-brain."

Aves became very annoyed as it began to fly madly around the room.

Golbat glided forward, crunching it's teeth on teh wing of Aves, causing him to slowly fall to the ground. As it descended to the tile floor, Skuntank opened it's mouth, releasing a stream of flames torwards the bird Pokemon, fatally torching Aves' entire body.

Dawn stepped back a few steps, before tripping over the Bike Shop owner. She fell on her bottom as Aves lay beside her.

Jupiter slowly approached her, staring her down with her two vicious beside her," Hm. Lunch time."

Skuntank, mouth watering, dove forward...

---

Sam managed to dodge the Grass Knots below his feet by levitating in the air. The Kirlia stared down at the ground, to make sure he dodged them fully, but he should've been paying attention to Roserade.

Gardenia smirked and said," You're easily distracted, aren't ya? Solar Beam!"

Roserade used the enregy of the beaming sun as it shot a ray of solar energy torwards Sam. The beam sent Sam on a one way trip to hell.

Sam bounced off the earth continously before landing on the ground.

Diamond watched as he clenched his fist," Get up Sam! Get up!!!

Sam stood up slowly as Diamond clenched his fists harder," Psychic!"

Sam's eyes started to glow as it began to chant continuously. Green waves of psychic energy struck Roserade, severly damaging the Grass-type Pokemon.

Diamond smiled as he said to himself," Alright, now to get Trident some experience points."

Sam was about to attack again, but was returned before he could do so. As it was returned, it had a very annoying look on its face.

Diamond took out another Pokeball and tossed it across the field, releasing Trident.

As Roserade stood up, it immediately was pecked in the back by Trident, hurting it even more.

Trident began to raise it's flippers into the air victoriously as it began to glow and grow.

Diamond grinned as Gardenia smirked," Heh, well I'll be...the little critter's evolvin' and such."

When the flashing light died down, a taller, navy blue penguin Pokemon emerged in Piplup's place. Now, it had a cyan blue belly with four spots, similar to buttons on a tuzedo, it's beak now had extended parts to the top of it's head, resembling somewhat of a crown, and it's eyes were now intimidating to foes.

"Prin. Prinplup!"

Small claws emerged from underneath Trident's feathers as it immediately used Metal Claw.

Trident ran forward, a smrik on it's face, as it slashed through Roserade, and landed at a distance from the field, on one knee.

Roserade stood there for one moment, before collapsing to the ground,"...ra...rade.."

Gardenia returned her Pokemon and sighed," Wow, that was.....cool."

Trident stood and walked back over to Diamond," Yeah, Trident tends to want to make battle decisions himself, so I let him loose. He's more dangerous that way." Diamond placed his hand on Trident's head," It gets the job done."

---

Dawn managed to flip out of the way of Skuntank tackle, but she couldn't run forever. She was totally defenseless against Jupiter without any Pokemon.

Jupiter smirked and said," Let's get this over with. Flamethrower!"

"Light Screen!"

A yellow screen of light blocked off the Flamethrower as an Electabuzz appeared behind the barrier. Pearl ran into the room, grinning as Dawn smiled.

Pearl ran over to help up Dawn while Volt, the Electabuzz, stared down Skuntank. He released his Carnivine, Verde, as the venus-flytrap Pokemon took flight, chomping it's big mandible.

Pearl chuckled as he wiped his nose," Heh heh. What's a party without me?"

END

(Next: Chapter 16: VS. Rhyperior)

Author's Note: Pearl to the rescue!

Astinus December 3rd, 2007 9:47 PM

Remember that review I promised you? Yeah, here it is for the first chapter.

Quote:

It is a beautiful, bright morning in the town of Twinleaf. Up in the cyan blue skies, fly a flock of Starlies, chirping soothingly as they glide overhead. Yes, this is the region of Sinnoh; a mountainous region. All seemed calm and perfect outside. However, inside a local house, was a whole different story.
Why switch tenses? You begin with present tense, and then go into past tense. My suggestion is to keep everything in past tense, which means that you should have: "It was a beautiful, bright morning…" and so on. You also might want to emphasis the last sentence by having it in its own paragraph, making it stand out. I dunno. I just think that that would work better.

Quote:

Inside, a boy sat in the living room, on a couch, watching a Johto News Report.
To perhaps take a page from Stephen King: "Well, where else is he sitting?" I would honestly hope that it’s obvious from the fact that he’s sitting that he’s on some piece of furniture. And besides, do you really want to waste the word space by specifically mentioning something that isn’t vital information? In other words, do we care where he’s sitting? There’s more to be known!

Quote:

The dark sky above her was pouring down blankets of rain,
Comma here after "rain" should be a full stop. And Sheryl’s dialogue should be in it’s own paragraph.

Quote:

Sheryl m anaged to climb ontop of a small cabin near the lake and said
"managed" and "on top"

Quote:

Back in the living room, the boy who had been watching the program is in disbelief that his mother would turn off the television, right at the climax of the documentary, "Mom! What the heck are you doing!!?? Now I've missed the conclusion!" The boy's mother simply replied," Diamond, your eyes have been glued to the TV screen all morning. Besides, your friend Damion just called. He's asking you to go over to his house for some reason. I could barely comprehend what he was saying, since he was in such a hurry." She smiled a bit as a petite, creamy-white creature with seemingly green hair appeared behind Diamond's mother, whose name was Daphne.
The comma after "documentary" should be a full stop, and you also missed the space between punctuation. Cut down the exclamation points and question marks after "doing" to either one each or just a question mark. (Context would tell us that he’s yelling.) And lastly, there is the spacing issues. It should be like so:

Quote:

Back in the living room, the boy who had been watching the program is in disbelief that his mother would turn off the television, right at the climax of the documentary. "Mom! What the heck are you doing!!?? Now I've missed the conclusion!"

The boy's mother simply replied," Diamond, your eyes have been glued to the TV screen all morning. Besides, your friend Damion just called. He's asking you to go over to his house for some reason. I could barely comprehend what he was saying, since he was in such a hurry." She smiled a bit as a petite, creamy-white creature with seemingly green hair appeared behind Diamond's mother, whose name was Daphne.
Quote:

Diamond frowned as he stood,"Yeah, Damion's been acting different ever since he caught that Elekid."
Comma after "stood" should be a full stop, and another missed space. (I was wondering why Word had "stood,"Yeah" listed as misspelled until I stared at it long enough. This tells me that either you really aren’t paying attention to spell-checkers, or you don’t use one. Please tell me it’s neither, and it’s just an honest mistake made twice.)

Quote:

What is a Ralts you ask? It is one of the currently 493 Pokemon in the world. Pokemon are known as pets, battle partners, research subjects, and much more. Not much is known about them currently, but much will be learned in the future.
This seems like a "let me beat my readers over the head with information that they don’t care about because they already know" paragraph. We’re Pokémon fans, we already know this. But if you want to include the information, then do it in an easier way. Don’t interrupt the narration to tell information. Ease it into the story somehow.

Quote:

Diamond was a rather good-looking fellow: tan, brown eyes, navy, and white teeth.
Unless you want a subjective narrator, don’t use "good-looking", "beautiful", or any other terms like that in narration. Let the readers decide for themselves if the character is good-looking, since we all have different tastes. And what is navy? His teeth?

Quote:

You could say he was a perfectionist.
Show, don’t tell. How is he a perfectionist? Show this to the reader in some way. Don’t just tell it to the reader.

Quote:

He was currently dressed in dark blue vest, with a white collar shirt underneath with the collar flipped up, blue jeans, and red, white, and yellow shoes.
At this point, I really don’t care what Diamond is wearing. I want to know where he’s going. Don’t interrupt the story to describe the characters if it’s not needed. Again, try to work it into the narration. "Diamond tugged on his dark blue vest, since the weather outside was chilly and he wanted to remain warm." Something like that. He’s moving, his vest gets described, the story doesn’t stop.

Quote:

If Diamond were to lost this hat, he wouldn't know what he'd do.
Again, show, don’t tell. Is this an important plot point? And the bolded word should be "lose"

Quote:

Obviously, Damion was the blonde-haired boy, dressed in an orange and white striped shirt, with dark gray pants.
Uh-huh. Obviously… Like Jax said, don’t patronize the reader. We can figure out for ourselves which one is Damion. And you also did it again: stopping the story to describe the character.

Plus, the paragraph that this is in needs to be spaced better. Diamond’s dialogue needs to be in a separate paragraph from Damion’s.

Quote:

"Well, I was wonderinh if Lake Verity had a Pokemon like that too!"
"wondering"

Quote:

He ran inside of the house, and returned with a few Pokeballs at hand, as well as one containing an Elekid, from what Diamond can see,"Now, let's go!"
Comma after "see" should be a full stop, and you need a space. And please space out the paragraphs correctly. Whenever someone new talks, you start a new paragraph.

Quote:

After about thirty minutes of no action occuring in the lake, Diamond got bored and sat on the grass,"Damion, this sucks,
Commas after "grass: and "sucks" should be full stops, and you missed the space after "grass". Also, it’s "occurring".

Quote:

The two removed themselves from the bushes as Damion noticed a brown man-bag in the tall grass.
"man-bag"? That made me WTF? a little. I would prefer either "saddlebag" or "briefcase" to be less jarring.

Quote:

Damion shook his head,"Quit being a goody-too-shoes, Diamond."
Comma after "head" should be a full stop, and you missed the space after it. Also, the paragraphing issue again. And I do quite believe it’s "goody-two-shoes".

Quote:

Obviously, they came into their territory.
There’s that "obviously" again.

Quote:

In between pecks, Hiro and Damion lost Sam and Elekid's Pokeball, both Pokeballs rolling into the lake.
"Hiro"? And, well, sucks to be Sam and Elekid, doomed to spend all eternity at the bottom of a lake. But at least your trainer cards show that they make it out…somehow.

Quote:

He grabbed the Pokeball on the rightside of the bag and lobbed it into the air.
That’s two words: "right side".

Quote:

Damion took the remaining Pokeball and released what seemed to be a green turtle Pokemon with a branch on it's head,"Turt-wig!"
Comma after "head" should be a full stop, and you missed the space.

Quote:

However, Diamond fought back,"Piplup! Bubble!"
Comma after "back" should be a full stop, and you missed the space.

Quote:

Piplup opened it's beak and sent out an array of bubbles, hitting one of Staravia's.
Wrong one being used. "Its" shows possession; "it’s" is the contraction of "it is". And why do you have an apostrophe in "Staravias"? The apostrophe is used for possessive nouns. (And technically, you don’t add an "s" to a Pokémon’s name to make it plural. You just leave it alone.)

Quote:

Diamond chuckled a bit,"It must have been confused."
Comma after "bit" should be a full stop, and you missed the space.

Quote:

Just then, the Staravia returned, but it's sequel was cut short when it was shot down by pellets of fire.
"Sequel" might not be the best choice here. A sequel is a logical conclusion. Perhaps "revenge" might work better, since that is why the bird is attacking again.

Grammar seems to be your weak point. You should take a peek at the stickied Grammar Advice thread here and fix up your chapters. If you do get better later on with grammar, then your previous chapters should show it. Otherwise, people might leave based on first impressions.

The other problem is the fact that you don’t handle description well. You just stop the story to describe the character, or give some piece of information, instead of working it into the story. Read a few of the good fics here to get an idea of how this is done.

Your story, however, is better than other "starting fanfics" I have seen, and it shows that you took your time on this. The basics seemed to be your weak point. Just listen to the advice in this post, and if you have any questions as to how things are done, ask at the Lounge.

I hope to review more of this sooner that it took me to write up this. Just keep pestering me, or anyone, if you want a review, okay? ^^

TurtleKing December 4th, 2007 12:26 PM

Whew! Thank you for that review! I swear I keep your suggestions in mind when doing my next chapter.

However, that was my first chapter and we both know that it wasn't my best. :)

Nonetheless, thank you for your time!

TurtleKing December 8th, 2007 10:11 AM

Chapter 16: VS. Rhyperior Part 1 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa464.png

Dawn beamed happily, now that Pearl had arrived to help her out, "Nice one. However, you could have came earlier! I was almost scorched!"

Pearl chuckled as he rubbed his nose, "Better late than never. You're not scorched are you?" He looked back to her and then faced Jupiter, answering his own question, "Nope. There's no problem then."

Jupiter smirked as she glanced at Verde, Pearl's Carnivine, "Oh, I see you've capture experiment 99002."

"Experiment 99002?" Pearl looked to Verde as the Carnivine winced, at the sight of Jupiter.

The Galactic Commander nodded and said, "Oh, yes. Your Carnivine was one of our experiment Pokemon. It's one of the few Pokemon that do not evolve. We're trying to come up with a way to make it evolve, whether it likes it, or not."

Pearl looked confused as Dawn stood, "What the hell? Don't you know that Carnivine doesn't evolve? You can't just experiment and force it to evolve. It's not natural. It might make the Pokemon species become unstable!"

"Heh, all that won't matter in the new world," Jupiter returned her Skuntank and Golbat. As she returned the Pokeballs into her bag, she took out another Pokeball, saying, "I've wasted my time here. I've got what I want from the Bike Shop owner and now I must be on my way."

Pearl blinked confusedly, but still called out an attack, "Verde, Razor Leaf!"

Verde swooped towards Jupiter, it's red and green tails swaying as it glided.

Jupiter smirked as she placed a hand on her pale cheek, whilst her other hand balled into a fist. She reared back slightly and slammed her fist into Verde's face, watching it sail into creamy white painted walls, "Pathetic excuse for a Pokemon."

Pearl's jaw dropped as Dawn ran over to nurture Verde.

As she rubbed down her magenta hair, Jupiter left the premises.

When she got outside, her eyes met Diamond, running up to the HQ, "Hm hm, why hello there, boy."

Diamond stopped in his tracks he stared back at Jupiter, "..." His fists clenched as he watch Jupiter walk away, "Argh."

---

Later...

Diamond, Pearl, and Dawn stood in front of the counter of the Bike Shop as the owner went into the back.

Dawn was not pleased with Diamond, "Are you forgetting the mission Professor Rowan gave to us three. You made a promise you'd help out, sacrificing your time at Gyms! You don't see me entering any Super Contests, do you?"

Diamond sighed as he rested his elbows on the countertop, leaning on it as he rested his cheek in his right palm, "One, there aren't any Super Contests in Sinnoh except in Hearthome City. And two, last time I checked, you weren't my mother. I could give a hell about Team Galactic." His eyes looked elsewhere as remisced about his battle against Jupiter at the Oreburgh Mines.

Pearl chuckled as he gently slammed his palm on Diamond's back, "Aw, Diamond's just foolin'! Right, Diamond?"

Diamond's eyes glared at Pearl's tangerine eyes.

"OK, ok." Pearl looked to the Bike Shop owner as he returned with two of his assistants.

They each brought in a bike: A cerulean-blue one, a tangerine-orange one, and a medium-pink one.

"They're for each of you, ordered by Professor Rowan. As a treat, they're each free."

Pearl grinned and said, "Sweet, but where do we keep them? We can't ride our bikes all the time."

The Bike Shop owner pressed a button on Pearl's bike, as it shrunk to the size of a toy car, "Press the button on the left handle bar, and your bike will shrink. I came up with this technology. If you're headed for the next town, you'll have to have a bike to get on Cycling Road."

Pearl pressed the button repeated as the bike grew to normal size and then back to miniature size. The astounded boy continued this process repeatedly.

Dawn became annoyed as a vein appeared on the right side of her forehead. She brought her hand back and forehanded Pearl across the cheek, "Enough!"

Pearl collapsed onto the teal tiled floors, eyes spinning.

Diamond shrunk his bicycle as he headed for the door, "Listen, I'm out of here."

Pearl stood as he waved good-bye to Diamond, "What's eating him?"

Dawn sighed and said, "I dunno. He was OK earlier."

---

The moon finally ascended the dark, night sky.

Pearl grinned as he followed Dawn to the beginning of Cycling Road, "Hey, mind if I come with you for a while?"

Dawn pressed the button her bicycle as she hopped on, "No, I don't mind." She immediately began to wheel down the road, leaving Pearl behind.

Pearl's eyes widen, "ARGH! Wait for me!!!"

---

As the two wheeled down the bridge road, Pearl proceeded to pop wheelies, showing off his BMX skills to Dawn.

Dawn turned around, while riding, and noticed that Pearl was coming close to her, out of control, "Pearl watch out!"

It was too late.

Pearl's bike collided with Dawn's, sending them and the bikes over the bridge.

The two began flailing their arms in the air, before landing in tall grass, unconscious.

---

Pearl woke up, stretching his arms as he rubbed his orange and white striped shirt. The lime green scarf around his neck waved in the wind. He looked over at Dawn who was still asleep.

As she lay there, Dawn's skirt was slightly up higher than normal.

Pearl chuckled pervertedly as he rubbed his hands together and inched closer to her.

Dawn opened one eye and flipped up straight. She kneeled down slightly, without touching the ground with her right knee, and uppercutted her right fist into Pearl's pelvic area.

The blonde-haired boy was sent flying into a pole that held up the Cycling Road bridge, "Umph..."

Dawn folded her arms and said, "That's for making us fall off Cycling Rode and for trying to touch me. Still excited? Well, I've got a left hook for ya, too."

Pearl, eyes rolling around, said half-effortedly, "No..."

---

The two began to walk around, trying to find a way back onto Cycling Road. While searching, Pearl spotted a young girl with long, crimson hair, kept up by two golden, spherical barettes.

The duo walked up to the little girl, who had been staring into the cave with a worried look on her face.

Dawn was the first to speak, "Excuse me, do you know a way to get back on Cycling Road from down here?"

The little girl turned around, looking up at them, "Yes, but I have to find my Kadabra before I leave. I accidentally abandoned it when I heard some roaring inside the cave, Wayward Cave." She pointed to thee entrance, "There's a monster in there, not too far from the entrance. I believe Kadabra trying to fight it, but the monster is too strong."

Pearl grinned and said, "Hey, we'll find your Kadabra as long as you show us a way back to Cycling Road." He began to run into the cave as Dawn followed behind with Mira.

---

As the three explored the cave, Mira provided some light with the help of her Espeon's Flash.

Indeed, there were roars heard from deep within the cave. Pearl grinned as he cracked his knuckles, "Heh, sounds like a baby wanting it's mother. What kind of Pokemon is this anyway?"

Mira led the way as they turned a corner, jumping over a few large rocks, "Well, it's big, brown and orange, and it has jagged edges on it's elbows. Oh! And it shoots rocks from it's palms! Big rocks!"

Dawn blinked and said, "Sounds like a new Pokemon to me." She took out her Pokedex and typed in the description.

"There it is!" Mira pointed to the large rock Pokemon, grasping a Kadabra in it's left hand.

"Rhy! Argh!" It's club-like tail, which was partially covered in orange, rocky plates, slammed onto the floor of the cave. The drill on it's nose began to spin upon seeing the three, "Rhy!" The blade-like protusions on it's elbows slammed into a cave wall, causing rocks on the ceiling to collapse onto the ground.

Pearl and Dawn's jaw dropped at the size of the beast.

The Pokedex in Dawn's hand beeped as it said, "Rhyperior: The Drill Pokemon. Rhyperior is the evolved form of Rhydon. It stand 7'10" tall and ways almost 700 pounds. It's special ability allows it to shoot boulders at foes and occasionally, Geodude can be fired as well.

END

(Next: Chapter 17: VS. Rhyperior: Part 2)

Noah Fowl EX December 12th, 2007 8:03 PM

Ok, just been flicking through the story a bit and I want to show you something:

Quote:

Dawn beamed happily, now that Pearl had arrived to help her out, "Nice one. However, you could have came earlier! I was almost scorched!"
It should just be:

Quote:

"nice one.
Because it's a comma before it, not a full stop.

Quote:

You're not scorched, are you?
Other than that - I couldn't find anything else wrong with the grammar.

I really like this story and someday I'll review the whole thing, someday...

Right! Keep going!

TurtleKing December 13th, 2007 2:05 PM

ATTENTION

Alright, I guess the "attention" things wasn't needed, heh.

Anyway, I am planning on making longer, descriptive chapter, starting with VS Rhyperior Part 2.

Expect to see more detailed battles, people, surrounding, etc.

Also, I plan to add more dramatic and comedic dialogue in my story.

On top of this, I will start adding more stuff in my fic to make each chapter longer. Therefore, updates and new chapter will be more spread out (One chapter per week. Maybe one chapter per 2 weeks.) I'm doing this because I want to make sure that my chapter is right before putting it on the forum. In my first volume, I never read over a chapter before posting it, leaving several grammatical and plot errors.

Now, I'm learning from my own mistakes and willing to make Poke Special Manga: DP, one of the best fics out there.

-Thanks

~TK

Naroko December 14th, 2007 6:48 AM

when will the next chapter be released cause i cant wait i love this manga

TurtleKing December 14th, 2007 10:05 AM

Most likely tonight or tomorrow morning. :)

TurtleKing December 14th, 2007 2:02 PM

Chapter 17: VS. Rhyperior: Part 2 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfb/dpmfb464.png

"Rhyperior: The Drill Pokemon. Rhyperior is the evolved form of Rhydon. It stand 7'10" tall and ways almost 700 pounds. It's special ability allows it to shoot boulders at foes and occasionally, Geodude can be fired as well."

Mira squeaked as she covered her face, watching her Kadabra getting squeeze by the ferocious Rhyperior.

"Well Dawn, looks like we have to fight this thing, "Pearl looked to Dawn, nodding, "Ready?"

Dawn nodded as well, "Ready when you are."

The two stepped forward, each taking out a Pokeball.

"Gaia! (Pyra!) I choose you!" They both said in unison.

From Dawn's Pokeball came her Monferno, Pyra. The Playful Pokemon bounced up and down, happy to be out of her Pokeball and ready to battle. Pyra stared up at the massive Rhyperior, and sneered back at it, "Mon! Mon!"

From Pearl's Pokeball came a new creature.

"Ah! So Gaia evolved?" Dawn smirked at Pearl.

Once the Pokemon materialized out of its Pokeball, it roared, stomping it's yellow feet, each had three claws. On it's back, the top of its head, and the top of it's tail was a yellow shell, with three brown, dirt stripes going vertically on it. The outside dirt stripes were nearly covered by a large bush on each of the stripes.

"Gro. Grotle!" Gaia roared loudly, waiting for a commanding. It ready itself by moving it's right foot back and forward, similar to a Tauros or a Donphan.

Pearl grinned and said, "Oh, that Rhyperior's in for it now! I finally taught Gaia that sweet move."

"Okay, now's a good time to whip out this so-called 'sweet move'," Dawn made the first move, "Pyra, get in close and use Mach Punch. Fast!"

Pyra began to run forward, zigzagging as she went.

Rhyperior lifted its right hand, and began to fire boulders from the hole in its hand.

As the boulders were fired, Pyra managed to dodge the majority of them, but was hit by the last two, dead on. Pyra was sent flying back into a wall and was damaged greatly.

"Can you hold off Rhyperior for a few? This move needs to be used a couple of times before we can use it." Pearl asked.

Dawn nodded, releasing Boom-Boom, her Buizel, "Boom-Boom! Aqua Jet!"

"Bui!" Boom-Boom surrounded itself with a spherical shield of water and charged towards Rhyperior, slamming into the drill Pokemon's stomach.

It did some damage, but not enough to let go of Kadabra.

Mira frowned and said, "Kadabra still hasn't been rescued!" She slammed her fists onto Pearl back, "C'mon!!!!! Rescue him!!!!!"

Pearl winced and grunt as he was hit in the back, "O-o-ok. J-j-just st-st-stop h-hitting m-m-me!!!"

Mira stopped and looked to her feet, embarrassed, "Sorry."

Pearl glanced back towards Rhyperior, who seemed to be preparing another attack. The hole in its palm grew much larger.

"Quick! Curse!" Gaia roared as it was surrounded by a blue energy force field, "Keep it going until you can't use it anymore!"

Gaia roared again as the blue force field stayed around it.

"Cover for me Dawn!" Pearl said quickly.

Dawn nodded, "Boom-Boom! Pyra!"

Both Pokemon stood in front of Gaia, protecting it from the upcoming attack.

Rhyperior roared, finally launching its attack, "Rhy! Argh!" It steady it's palm torwards the Monferno and Buizel until it finally locked on. Then, it released two large boulders towards them both.

Mira closed her eyes tightly, not daring to watch.

Pow! Pow!

Dust and smoke was brought up after the collision. The boulders smacked Pyra and Boom-Boom so hard that both Pokemon instantly fainted.

Dawn returned both of her Pokemon, looking to Pearl, "Oh my gosh. What attack was that?"

Pearl shook his head, "Rock Wrecker. An extremely accurate rock-attack, but it makes the user tired afterwards. They have to rest after using it. However, this Rhyperior was able to launch it twice without resting. Something tells me that this isn't a wild Pokemon. Only a Pokemon with intense training could know how to do this," he looked to Gaia, "Gaia's ready."

Gaia roared as it took a few steps forward, however, these were unusually slow steps.

Dawn smirked and said, "Oh, I see. You used Curse, slowing down Gaia, but increasing his Attack and Defense."

"Exactly," Peal nodded, "Razor Leaf!"

Gaia shook his leaves violently, releasing several razor sharp leaves toward Rhyperior.

Each of the leaves sliced at the hard rock stomach of Rhyperior, some parts chipping away and landing on the ground.

The drill Pokemon roared, releasing its hold on Kadabra.

"Quick, Mira! Return Kadabra!" Pearl and Dawn yelled in unison.

Mira nodded and held out her Pokeball, releasing a red beam towards Kadabra and sucking it up into the Pokeball.

Pearl grinned and said, "Mission accomplished!"

"Rhy!"

Dawn blinked and said, "Ah, I think Rhyperior's done resting! Let's go!"

Rhyperior stood again, holding out both palms.

However, the trio ran out of Wayward Cave, arriving outside below Cycling Road.

-----

Inside the cave, a tall man stood next to Rhyperior. He swatted some rock pebbles off his silver vest and straightened out the sleeves on his black, long sleeve undershirt. As he walked in front of Rhyperior, his black pant legs waved and his white shoes clicked.

"Hm," his voice said, "I wonder."

The man's pale skin made it seem as if he never been out in the Sun.

He faced Rhyperior, taking out a whip from his pocket. He gently groomed his blue hair, which stood up similar to a crescent moon, before whipping the ground, "Now, tell me why you couldn't defeat those intruders."

Rhyperior roared down at the man, but was immediately whipped in the stomach.

"You shut your damn mouth!" the man exclaimed before returning the Rhyperior into a Pokeball, "I tell you, worthless varmint! No matter, Cyrus wanted me to catch the darn thing and by golly I did. Heh, now he might recognize me as his brother."

The man turned to the opening of the cave, "Now, the next phase is to return this back to Cyrus. However, I've got to get rid of those meddling kids of Rowan's. They'll ruin everything."

The man turned on his heel and slowly walked into the dark, deep portion of Wayward Cave.

-----

Meanwhile, Mira led Dawn and Pearl back onto a path that led to Cycling Road.

Both Dawn and Pearl pressed the button on their bikes, allowing them to grow larger, and headed back down Cycling Road, waving good-bye to Mira.

It was still dark outside, but the two managed to finally reached a mountainous area.

Dawn looked over to Pearl who kept heading south, "I gotta go to Oreburgh! Go on without me!"

Dawn waved as she got off her bike, shrinking it, and began to ascend the mountain, Mt. Coronet.

-----

Once Dawn made it through to the other side of the relatively small portion of Coronet, a shady man walked up to her. He looked as if he was frightened.

Dawn made a disgruntled face as the man approached her and said, stammering, "D-d-don't s-s-say anything. J-just t-t-take it!"

He handed her a large brown stone and ran off quickly, screaming.

Dawn chuckled a bit and said, "Ah, okay. I guess I'll see what Prof. Rowan knows about this thing."

She walked across a long, almost unstable, bridge, looking to her right. A magnificent waterfall was there.

Dawn smiled, slowing her pace, "Amazi-!" She yelped and screamed dramatically.

Her foot had fallen through a wooden board on the bridge. Not too long afterwards, her other foot fell through the hole and now she was hanging onto her life, literally, as she held on to the bridged with both hands.

"If only I can reach into my bag and call out Aves!"

Suddenly, her fingers began slipping until she reached the point where she began hurling down towards the rushing waters.

END

(Next: Chapter 18: VS. Mamoswine)

Author's Note: Coming up with a title Pokemon for the next chapter.

Percy Thrillington December 14th, 2007 2:55 PM

And so comes my first review, lets go!

Hm... I quite like this story so far, as I've mentioned to you previously, and I can see it go quite a long way, as it has potential. I can see exactly why you're going backwards and editing the chapters, that is a smart option. Maybe if you achieve that the reviews will start pouring in, yeah, right.

Quote:

"Well Dawn, looks like we have to fight this thing, "Pearl looked to Dawn, nodding, "Ready?"
I believe I asked you if you read over what you post, in all fairness, this begs to differ with your answer...

Quote:

"Well Dawn, looks like we have to fight this thing," Pearl looked to Dawn, nodding, "Ready?"
Just the speech mark.

Quote:

Mira frowned and said, "Kadabra still hasn't been rescued!" She slammed her fists onto Pearl back, "C'mon! Rescue him!"
Only one exclamation mark is needed anytime, anywhere.

Other than that, the only thing I have to point out is your description; we need slightly more than three yellow claws ect.

Anyways, I'll go chapter by chapter with this as I see it, and don't stop keeing up the good work!

TurtleKing December 14th, 2007 3:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oni Raichu (Post 3169252)
And so comes my first review, lets go!

Hm... I quite like this story so far, as I've mentioned to you previously, and I can see it go quite a long way, as it has potential. I can see exactly why you're going backwards and editing the chapters, that is a smart option. Maybe if you achieve that the reviews will start pouring in, yeah, right.



I believe I asked you if you read over what you post, in all fairness, this begs to differ with your answer...



Just the speech mark.



Only one exclamation mark is needed anytime, anywhere.

Other than that, the only thing I have to point out is your description; we need slightly more than three yellow claws ect.

Anyways, I'll go chapter by chapter with this as I see it, and don't stop keeing up the good work!

A ha! Gotcha back. "Keeping". Heh heh. Thanks for the review. Yeah, I'm working on learning how to become better at descriptions. I'm reading a fic now that has excellent description and am trying to learn from that.

Thanks again Oni Raichu.

ElliottKaito December 14th, 2007 3:38 PM

I like this. Keep it up!!!!!

TurtleKing December 14th, 2007 4:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElliottKaito (Post 3169376)
I like this. Keep it up!!!!!

Thanks for the comment! :)

Naroko December 15th, 2007 2:00 AM

you should update the trainer card of diamond

TurtleKing December 15th, 2007 6:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naroko (Post 3170491)
you should update the trainer card of diamond

I plan on doing all my updates today. Including the website. I'm sorta behind on trainer profiles and other profiles as well (Team Galactic, Cheryl, Mira, Neo Team Rocket as well.)

ASHYLEGS December 15th, 2007 8:29 AM

oooh! Will she survive the fall?

TurtleKing December 15th, 2007 7:34 PM

The Title Pokemon for the next chapter has been selected:

Chapter 18: VS. Mamoswine!

Naroko December 15th, 2007 11:30 PM

Nice. I just wait the next chapter.Will you make a banner or something like that????

TurtleKing December 16th, 2007 2:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naroko (Post 3173415)
Nice. I just can't wait for the next chapter.Will you make a banner or something like that????

I don't know how to make banners, so I'll probably make ask for a request on Sppf, Bulbagarden, or here, all three are home to my fic. :)

I'm trying to figure out what I want on the banner.

Ah. I've been sick all day. Plus it's snowing outside, so I can't go outside in the snow while I'm sick. I managed to type up Chapter 18, VS. Mamoswine, but it won't be released yet.

Naroko December 20th, 2007 3:51 AM

why are not posting chapter 18????????

TurtleKing December 20th, 2007 9:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naroko (Post 3183232)
why are not posting chapter 18????????

UH! Chillax dude. I just got out of school.

Anyway, Chapter 18 coming in new post..

TurtleKing December 20th, 2007 9:06 AM

Chapter 18: VS. Mamoswine! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa473.png

Once Dawn made it through to the other side of the relatively small portion of Coronet, a shady man walked up to her. He looked as if he was frightened.

Dawn made a disgruntled face as the man approached her and said, stammering, "D-d-don't s-s-say anything. J-just t-t-take it!"

He handed her a large brown stone and ran off quickly, screaming.

Dawn chuckled a bit and said, "Ah, okay. I guess I'll see what Prof. Rowan knows about this thing."

She walked across a long, almost unstable, bridge, looking to her right. A magnificent waterfall was there.

Dawn smiled, slowing her pace, "Amazi-!" She yelped and screamed dramatically.

Her foot had fallen through a wooden board on the bridge. Not too long afterwards, her other foot fell through the hole and now she was hanging onto her life, literally, as she held on to the bridged with both hands.

"If only I can reach into my bag and call out Aves!"

Suddenly, her fingers began slipping until she reached the point where she began hurling down towards the rushing waters.


-----

A young man watched Dawn fall, from small mountain peak above. He clicked his tongue and rubbed his fist on his lavender blazer and uttered quietly, "Hm, she's sure to die."

From a pocket inside his suit, he quickly brought out an Ultra Ball and tossed it downward, towards the rapids, "Mamoswine, release!"

The black Pokeball lined with yellow markings, burst open, releasing a large, brown mammoth looking Pokemon with a massive pig snout. The tusk on either side of his face were long, shifting downward. Around it's eyes were menacing black markings and surrounding the markings was an aqua blue mask.

Mamoswine began diving torwards the waters after Dawn.

Dawn, meanwhile, was still falling from the bridge, screaming at the top of her lungs. Her bag descended as well, a few feet above her head.

"Blizzard!"

Mamoswine inhaled deeply, "Manmuuu!" It then exhaled just as deep, releasing a Blizzard from it's large snout. The ice managed to freeze the entire waterfall, solid.

Once Dawn collided with the frozen rapids, she slid a few feet downwards, before running into a boulder, back first, "Oh..." She sighed as she stood up but slipped and fell.

The young man from before was now walking on the ice, with ease. His face was covered by a masquerade mask. Mamoswine stood by his side and roared.

"Heh, are you OK?" He extended his hand to help the girl up. If Dawn would've noticed, a decal was pressed onto the young man's suit: N.T.R.

Dawn nodded as she took the young man's hand and allowed herself to be pulled up, "Thank you, but who are -"

The young man placed his index finger on her lips and said, "Shhh," he removed his finger from her lips, "My name is Xavier. However, I am better known as X, so, please call me by nickname."

Dawn nodded, getting goosebumps from when X placed his finger to her lips.

X chuckled a bit as he turned his back toward Dawn, "For saving your life, you owe me nothing." He turned his head nad looked back at her, "OK?"

Dawn nodded, her jaw on the ground.

"Good." X returned his Mamoswine as he placed the Pokeball back into his pocket, "Now, I must be on my way." He nodded at Dawn before he descended Mt. Coronet, out of Dawn's view.

Dawn could only watch.

-----

Upon entering the large city of Hearthome, Dawn went into the Pokemon Center to get her Pokemon healed. While she waited, Dawn sat on a love seat, still thinking over how the shady young man, X, saved her life, "Hm."

She began to reenact the situation in her head, "There was something on his blazer. Three letters. Ah! What were those letters?" Dawn slammed her palm to her forehead, trying to remember.

Eventually, Nurse Joy returned to the lobby with each of Dawn's Pokemon.

Dawn thanked the Nurse and proceeded to exit the lobby...

...until

"Excuse me..."

Dawn turned to face whomever spoke to her.

There, stood a short young woman, around the age of 17. Her blonde hair was tied in a crimson rubberband, and she was dressed in an orange tanktop and short blue jean shorts. ON her shoulder was a sleeping Glameow, "Would you happen to have seen a Buneary? I lost her when I returned here to Hearthome."

Dawn began to think back to when she entered Hearthome City...

...

...

As Dawn entered Hearthome City, still in shock of her life being saved by X, she noticed a well groomed Buneary, nibbling on a berry nearby.

Thinking it was a wild Pokemon, Dawn overlooked it until a tall, fat man came out of a nearby house, fuming at the site of his home grown berries being eaten by a wild Pokemon.

"Do you know how much time it takes to perfectly plant those berries!?!?!?"

The Buneary tilted its head up at the man before hopping off towards the city limits.

Dawn watched and chuckled a bit at how mad the man had gotten.

"You think this is funny!?!? Get outta here!!!"

Immediately Dawn began to run towards the city, ignoring the crazed Berry Master...


...

...

Dawn nodded her head at the woman, "Yes, it seemed to be headed torwards the Contest Hall. I was just about to go there now. I'm Dawn by the way."

The woman nodded, shaking Dawn's hand, "Bebe. I run the Pokemon Storage System. A lady down at the Contest Hall lost her Buneary. I was helping her to find it. I guess the Buneary went back to her. Could you go check?"

Dawn agreed and left for the Contest Hall.

-----

As Dawn stepped inside the slide doors, she noticed the large lobby full of trainers, preparing to take part in Contests. Looking around, Dawn noticed a tall woman hugging a Buneary tightly. The woman had dark blue, spherical hairdo and was dressed in a white blouse and a red sun dress. The Buneary in her arms pointed to Dawn, causing the woman to walk over to her, "Excuse me, but did you find my Buneary?"

Dawn shrugged and said, "Eh, somewhat. It's so cute!"

The woman smiled and said, "Oh thank you! I would have gave these to my son, but he doesn't like Contests." She reached into her back handed Dawn a Poffin Case, a Glitter Powder Accessory, and a Dress.

Dawn marveled at her new items and thanked the woman, "Thank you so much!"

The woman nodded her head and said, "Oh! Diamond!" She called out to her son who had just came from the bathroom.

Diamond grinned as he ran over to his Mom," Yeah, Mom?" He looked to Pearl and then groaned, "Ah, you again. I swear, you follow me everywhere."

Pearl placed her hands on her hips and said, "Um! Excuse me! Are you forgetting the mission!!??"

They both folded their arms and looked elsewhere.

Diamond's mother chuckled and said, "Oh such good friends. Just like your father once was."

Diamond sighed and said, "Please don't mention father."

-----

Dawn eventually signed up for Contests, receiving her Contest Pass. She then decided to categorize each of her Pokemon for a suited Contest type:

Pyra: Beauty Contests
Aves: Tough Contests
Queen: Cute Contests
Boom Boom: Cool Contests
Tater: Smart Contests

Peep, in Dawn's opinion, was not Contest material. However, the Drifloon did not mind.

-----

After defeating 4 of the Normal Rank Contests, it was time for Dawn to participate the Smart Normal Rank Contest with Tater. Each of her Pokemon each wore their newly won ribbons proudly on the sidelines, as Dawn and Tater took the stage, proceeding with the Visual Judgement.

Tater had huge DJ head phones on its head and began to recite the Pokerap that it had learn from a radio.

The crowd applauded Dawn and Tater respectively.

Among those in the crowd were Diamond and his Mother, "She's actually good , Mom."

His mother nodded as Dawn signaled Tater to begin dancing.

-----

Meanwhile...

On the roof of the Hall, stood X, several men and women in burnt orange winter clothing, and a tall slender woman dressed in a purple dress. Her hair was lower-back length and her face was fully covered with a mask.

X stared up at the woman and said, "Uranus, let's begin."

The woman nodded and said, "Of course. Being the new Gym Leader here, people think of me as weak. Hm, well that changes today." She looked to her grunts,"Neo Team Rocket! Fantina, codename Uranus, has declared operation 'Double-Cross' a go!"

The Neo Team Rocket grunts nodded their heads as the roof of the Contest Hall burst open.

The crowd below looked up as the entire fleet jumped through the opening in the ceiling.

Dawn looked up towards the city. All she could see were black shadowy figures since the sun limited her sight.

However, it didn't limit Diamond's sight, "Neo Team Rocket!"

END

(Next: Chapter 19: VS. Froslass!)

Author's Note: Fantina was once a member of Team Galaxy, which is why her code name is Uranus.

Naroko December 21st, 2007 4:32 AM

Marvelous chapter, keep up the good work

TurtleKing December 24th, 2007 5:10 PM

Sorry guys. I don't have time to post the next chapter sooner than I thought. You may expect on the 26th or later.

TurtleKing December 29th, 2007 7:08 PM

Chapter 19: VS. Froslass! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpffa/dpffa478.png

Uranus landed on the Contest stage with all of her grunts surrounding her.

X landed across from Dawn, grinning as he placed his right fist into his pocket and lifted his left hand into the air, "Heh, it's you again. I saved your life back there. But now, I'm afraid I'll have to show no mercy to you."

The Contest announcer looked baffled at X's comments, "Due to the fact we have foreign bandits invading the Contest Arena...RUN!!" She dropped her microphone and dashed out of the arena, along with the rest of the crowd.

Diamond ran down the auburn steps of the stands and leaped over a counter that prevented the crowd from going onto the stage. He had told his mother to evacuate with the other members of the crowd.

Diamond ran over and stood back-to-back with Dawn, as the girl whispered back to him, "What are you doing?"

Diamond smirked, staring at the grunts surrounding them, "Helping you out. Besides, I have a grudge with these guys. That doesn't change our grudge, however." He took out a Pokeball staring at it for a moment.

Uranus scoffed and said, "Oh this is quite lovely. It reminds of the same exact scene in Johto. A boy with a red and gold outfit and a girl with similar outfit. Hm, I wonder what happened to them, X?"

"Heh," X rubbed his nose as he closed his eyes, "Stuck in the Mahogany Gym I suppose. It is rather cold in there. With my grandfather gone, no one's been there to control the air conditioning or heat. They're probably frozen."

Diamond looked confused, "OK! Anyway...You've got us to deal with now. I've gotten rid of one of your fellow members and I can get rid of all you as well! Let's go Dex!" Diamond tossed the Pokeball into the air.

It curved slightly before bouncing off the ground, opening itself with a bop sound.

Out of the Pokeball, came Dexter, Diamond's mentally challenged Dexter. The Pachirisu began running around in circles in front of the Grunts as they all stood confused.

There were about five of them, standing in front of Uranus; Each of them took out a Pokeball, releasing a Sneasel.

Diamond snorted at the NTR Grunts and said, "You've got to be kidding me! Only five?"

Dexter continued to swarm around in circles, "Pachi! Chi! Chi! Chi! Chi!"

------

Dawn glared at the NTR grunts standing in front of X. They also released five Sneasel, summed together.

Dawn groaned and said, "You're lucky I've won my ribbons, or I'd be in an angrier mood." She reached into her yellow bag and took out a Pokeball as well. She pressed the sensor on the front of the ball as it burst open, releasing Queen, her Burmy.

Currently, Queen was in her pink Steel-form.

The grunts began to laugh their heads off at the sight of the 'weak-looking' Burmy.

Dawn just smiled as she glanced back at Diamond, "You ready?"

"Yes."

-----

Outside of the Contest arena, the audience watched through the windows. Diamond's mother was banging her fists on the window, "Go! Get'em Diamond!"

"Excuse me! Coming through!"

The audience turned their heads at the person asking for excuse.

"Heh, sorry for kinda forcin' my way in here." The boy said as he rubbed the breast of his red and gold hoodie. Though it was slightly cold on this day, the boy was wearing gold shorts with black designs down the side. He also wore red and gold shoes and a red and gold backwards cap to match.

A grin went across his face as his green eyes stared at the front of the door. He extended his hand to grab the knob but a person stopped him.

"We.." the person said, "...we have trainers in there taking care of it! They're Prof. Rowan's apprentices!"

The boy snorted and said, "Who give's a hell? I have a score to settle with these goons." He walked through the door as his voice trailed off, "Try to freeze me will they?"

-----

Back in the Contest Arena, Dexter had just discharge the life out of five Sneasel, while Queen used Hidden Power to destroy the other five Sneasel.

Queen then began to glow in a white light, her body expanding and enlarging. Once the glowing light dimmed down, it revealed a large pink, bug looking Pokemon, with magenta wings, "Worm...madam."

Queen evolved into Wormadam!

-----

The NTR Grunts each fell back as X and Uranus each stepped up.

X grinned as he took out his Pokeball, "Hm, it seems these two are strong, Uranus." He opened his Pokeball, releasing Mamoswine.

Dawn stared up at the beast taking a step back, bumping into Diamond.

Diamond tripped forward a little as he said, "Watch it!"

Uranus chuckled and said, "You're right, watch it!" She took out a Pokeball and elegantly threw it into the air, releasing a white, floating Pokemon that appeared to be dressed in a white kimono with ice on top of it's head, "Frrrrrros."

Diamond gritted his teeth, "A Froslass?"

In unison, Mamoswine and Froslass each released an Ice Beam upon Dexter and Queen, instantly freezing them.

Diamond turned his head at the sight, all the while, getting a good look at X, "Hey! You're that guy who gave me the Ice Beam Technical Machine!"

X's face looked embarrassed as he flinched a bit before returning Mamoswine. Once he accomplished that, he ran for the exit, only to bump into the boy who entered the arena.

Each of them fell down, but X was the first to get up, "Gold!??!? How did you..."

Gold stood up, dusting himself off as he smirked, "C'mon....Kid-with-Typhlosion! I was gonna get out of that ice sooner or later! Boy, why do the smart villains have to act so ignorant?" He reached into his bag and twirled his billiards-cue before pointing it at X.

However, X had already vanished.

"Dammit, gotta learn not to show off that much." He looked to the Contest stage and saw Dawn and Diamond facing Uranus. Well, mostly Dawn, "Man, who is the chick on stage in the short, pink skirt?"

Immediately he ran down the steps and hopped the counter.

"Step back!" Gold said as he stood in front of Diamond and Dawn.

Diamond snarled and said, "What are you doing? You'll get frozen!"

Gold grinned back at Diamond and said, "Heh, I defeated the Mask of Ice, this drag queen will be a piece of cake." He turned his head looking at Uranus.

Uranus made a disturbed face before relaxing, standing up straight, "Hm, I see you escaped. No matter, I'll send you to your rightful place."

Gold snickered and said, "Uranus..."

"WHAT?!"

"That name...it's so...disturbing. Your anus. Uranus. It's all so...anally!"

"SHUT IT! Froslass! Blizzard!"

(Next: Chapter 20: VS. Typhlosion!)

Author's Note: Sorry for the hiatus guys! I was just taking a break from writing.

Gold's back!

The next chapter is the final chapter of Volume 2! I will be on another hiatus for 2 weeks. Happy reading, viewing, and reviewing! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

TurtleKing December 29th, 2007 7:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naroko (Post 3185145)
Marvelous chapter, keep up the good work

Could you make your sig smaller? It's messing up the page.

TurtleKing January 2nd, 2008 8:31 PM

Chapter 20: VS. Typhlosion! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa157.png

Reaching into his pocket, Gold brought out a Pokeball, containing his Typhlosion. He quickly glanced back at Diamond and Dawn before looking back at the Blizzard that was about to approach him. He tossed the Pokeball in front of him, releasing his starter Pokemon, Typhlo, the Typhlosion.

Upon being released, Typhlo quickly banished the ice storm with a phenomenal Flame Wheel. Typhlo curled into a ball, releasing flames from the fire on the back of it's neck. Once it was finished, the stage was slightly flooded with water.

Dawn squeaked a bit as she splashed in the water, "Ah! My shoes!"

Diamond sneered as he thought to himself, "Who is this guy...-gasp-. Wait a minute!"

...

...

"It appears a young boy and his Typhlosion are trying to calm the Red Gyarados. Oh bless his heart! Oh my! The boy has_____"

...

...

Diamond realized that Gold was the boy who was on the documentary he saw earlier in the year.

He looked to Dawn, as Dexter and Queen completely unthawed, "Dawn, let's get outta here. This guy can handle Uranus."

Dawn returned Queen, as Diamond returned Dexter, "This is our fight, too!"

Diamond shook his head, "No, we have to leave. He can take care of this!" He immediately ran out of the Contest Arena, with Dawn reluctantly following.

---

"Argh...you're not going to get away this, boy!" Uranus said as she pressed a button on her orange jump suit. The suit began to form around her body into a copperhead orange armor. She extended her hand as she held Froslass's Pokeball in it, "We will finish this."

A red beam shot from her Pokeball, as she returned the Ice/Ghost Pokemon. A jet pack came onto her back as she blasted off towards the ceiling, wit Gold staring up at her as she exited.

"That's still gross. Your anus. I mean, who comes up with these names?"

---

Nightfall had came upon Hearthome City.

Diamond sighed as he rested his cheek in his palm, while waiting for his Pokemon to be healed at the local Pokemon Center. He was sitting at a table, across from his mother, and unfortunately, Dawn.

"I still say we shouldn't have ran out! We could've defeated that old lady. She even got away because of you!" she slammed her fist down onto the table.

Diamond sighed thinking to himself, "I wish I could calculate a way to shut this chick up!"

A ding came from the desk as Diamond, being the gentleman he was, retrieved his and Dawn's Pokeballs.

Diamond's mother looked at the two uneasy, "You two really shouldn't be fighting like this. It isn't necessary."

"What do you mean it isn't necessary, mother!?"

Diamond's mother furrowed her brows as she stood up a little as if to say, "Who are you raising your voice to, young man?"

"Sorry mom..." Diamond slouched down in his seat.

The doors of the Pokemon Center slid open as two familiar face walked into it.

---

To the right was Pearl, with a new Pokemon by his side. It was a small, chubby, pink Pokemon with a fake egg in it's pouch.

To the left was Gold, grinning, "Heh, that's right, I had that old hag runnin'!"

Pearl beamed and said, "No kidding?"

"I don't kid!"

"Seriously?"

"Serious!"

"You lie!"

"I tell the---"

"SHUT UP!!!" Diamond sat up, annoyed by the two's conversations, "We get it, okay!!??"

---

Gold lowered his eyelids as he wagged his finger at Diamond, "Is that how you react to the guy that saved you?"

"You didn't save anybody," Diamond said, "I decided to walk out. Let you handle it."

Pearl snickered and said, "About time Diamond didn't play hero!"

Diamond sneered at Pearl, but then looked to his ankles, noticing the pink Pokemon clinging to Pearl's pant leg, "Happiny!"

Diamond snickered a bit, "A Happiny, Pearl?"

Pearl groaned uneasily, "Ah, a hiker gave'er to me. He said it was a powerful Pokemon inside, wasn't expecting a Happiny. Gold here managed to help it hatch quickly, though. He's amazing! It was like magic!"

---

Diamond's mother giggled and said, "Well then, you're an all around amazing guy, aren't you?"

Gold immediately grabbed Diamond's mother's hand and kissed it, "That I am, Miss."

Diamond stood up, a vein appearing on his four head as he slammed his palms onto the table, "Alright, that's it! Me and you outside!"

Pearl's eyes widen, "Ah, Diamond, I've never seen you so angry? You're...acting out of character!"

Diamond glared at Pearl, "You shut it!!!" He pointed to Gold, "Right now!!!"

Gold grinned as he held his hands up, closing his eyes, "Fine...fine..."

---

Out in the dark streets of Hearthome stood Diamond, standing a few feet away from Gold.

Gold, being the person he was, had an overconfident look on his face, and rightfully so. He was a more experience Pokemon Trainer than Diamond, even though he was a Breeder.

Diamond, still angry, took out a Pokeball and threw it forward, releasing Sam, his Kirlia, "Don't screw this up Sam! You've been screwing up a lot lately!"

Sam gulped a bit, "Kir..."

Gold, took out his Billiard's Cue as he lobbed a Pokeball into the air. He gently tapped the Pokeball with the Cue as it burst open, releasing his Typhlosion, Typhlo.

Diamond proceeded, "Psybeam!"

Sam's eyes started to glow as cupped it's hands together, releasing a beam of rainbow colors toward Typhlo.

"Flame Wheel!"

Typhlo curled into a ball and zipped forward, it's body becoming engulfed in flames. True enough, the beam hit Typhlo, but the Typhlosion kept on wheeling towards Sam, before hitting the Kirlia dead on, sending it sailing into a lamp post.

Diamond clenched his fists, "Sam! You haven't gotten any stronger since you've evolved! Get it together, now!"

Sam slowly stood before teleporting behind Typhlo.

Gold smirked, wiping his nose.

---

"Diamond sure is putting a lot on Sam." Pearl whispered to Dawn,

Dawn nodded and said, "Yeah, he's been acting weird lately."

Diamond's mother had left to hotel, just before the battle.

---

"Swift, Typhlo!"

Typhlo somersaulted forward and turned around to face Sam, now releasing golden stars directly at the Kirlia.

Again Sam was battered and beaten to a pulp, now lying there, defeated.

Diamond exhaled deeply from his nostrils, "Ugh!!! Sam, you weak idiot!"

Sam slowly came to, just in time to heed its trainer's words.

"Sam, you weak idiot!"

"Sam, you weak idiot!"

"Sam, you weak idiot!"


---

Sam slowly stood as it turned to the forest, "Kirlia. Kir." Without a second thought, Sam had disappeared into the bushes.

Diamond, still in rage, turned his back as well, "Good riddance."

Pearl shook his head as he walked past Diamond, "Not cool, man..."

Dawn shook her head as well, leaving the area with Pearl.

Gold returned Typhlo as he walked toward Diamond, "All jokes aside, now. Me being a breeder, I understand what a Pokemon truly feels. Your Kirlia feels that you haven't been treating it well or trusting it. And it seems that your friends now don't trust you."

Diamond watched Gold leave behind Pearl and Dawn and then looked back over to where Sam had vanished. He slowly bit his bottom lip, exhaling deeply, and then turned to walk out of Hearthome City.

END.

Volume 2 is completed!

Naroko January 3rd, 2008 12:13 PM

nice chapter and sorry for the sig rezolved it

TurtleKing January 12th, 2008 3:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naroko (Post 3220864)
nice chapter and sorry for the sig rezolved it

Kay thanks. Thanks for the review.

Spoiler Alerts! If you want know some spoilers for the next volume, then click the Spoiler Tag below! :)

Spoiler:

-Return of the Dusk Twins
-Return of Harold
-You learn about Diamond's father
-More Team Galactic and Neo Team Rocket Commander battles
-Diamond captures a new Pokemon!

And that's all you get! ;)

Naroko January 14th, 2008 7:24 AM

will diamond get his kirlia back????and will it evolve in gallade???

TurtleKing January 14th, 2008 1:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naroko (Post 3248339)
will diamond get his kirlia back????and will it evolve in gallade???

You'll have to read in order to find out!

Naroko January 15th, 2008 5:18 AM

i`d read but i don`t have a new chapter to read:(

Percy Thrillington January 15th, 2008 8:49 AM

I'm not sure whether to count that as SPAM, so I'll just explain instead of doing something I shouldn't.

TurtleKing has decided it would be better if he took a break from the manga for a while.

TurtleKing January 15th, 2008 12:27 PM

Ladies and gentlemen. You've wanted more...

Well, you got it!

That's right! The return of Poke' Special Manga: DP. Volume 3!!

Will Diamond makes amends with Sam?
Why is Gold in Sinnoh?
Can anyone take Pearl seriously?
What's going on back in Sandgem and Twinleaf Town?
Why are the Gym Leaders being attacked?

All of these and more in Volume 3!

Coming Wednesday - Saturday!


To Oni Raichu: Well, I've been inspired, so now I'm back in the swing of things X).

TurtleKing January 15th, 2008 4:54 PM

Volume 3

Chapter 21: VS. Murkrow and Misdreavus! Part 1 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa198.pnghttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa200.png

Back home at Twinleaf Town...

Diamond's mother, Josephine, was currently cooking a single dinner for herself, as well as a dinner for her Pokemon, Glameow. The old, yet beautiful cat Pokemon rested on the blue sofa, gently purring as Josephine hummed quietly, "Oh, I hope Diamond is doing all right."

Her dark blue eyes glanced outside as she patted her blue, spherical hair, "His friends told me that Sam ran away." Her content look slowly transformed into a frown, "It's not like Diamond to disown his Pokemon. Not like him at all." She dragged her feet over to Glameow as the cat Pokemon slowly awoke.

"Nyaa!?"

"Oh don't worry Glameow. It's just me. Your food is ready." She set a plate in front of Glameow. On the platter was a blue bowl containing brown Pokemon food, smothered with Combusken broth and gravy, "Eat up!"

Glameow meowed happily and began to elegantly devour its food.

As she sat down at the bar counter, Josephine stared down at her plate, noticing that she cooked Diamond's favorite meal: Cinnabar Burger and fries, with a Miltank milkshake to drink. While gazing at her food, she began to reminisce about her "ex" husband...

...

5 years ago...

"You're always away from the house! Why?" Josephine followed her husband as he was approaching the front door, "Are you cheating on me? Is there somebody else! Please let me no!" Her eyes slowly began to develop tears as they slid down her face like kids sliding down a slide on a playground. As they dropped to the tan carpet, wet areas were clearly visible, indicating her pain and sorrow from her husband being away so often.

"Listen Josie..." The man was tall, slim, very attractive looking. He was pale in skin, indicating that he obviously never saw much of the outside world, "I wish I could tell you what is going on and what is about to happen, but alas, I can't."

"So you're telling me that your stupid job is more important than me and your 9-year-old boy?" Her eyes glanced to the staircase.

Peeking around the corner on the second floor was a young Diamond. His slightly messy blue hair hung past his ears, obviously much longer than the current Diamond.

He quickly his face when his mother glanced up stairs.

"You don't understand Josie." He turned his back to her, uttering the words, "I love you..."

"No!" Josie extended both of her hands, "No! If you leave, you will never be allowed back into my house! After all I done for you! Don't even think about stepping a foot outside this house!"

The man grabbed his suit coat and placed it over his shoulders. He grabbed the necklace off the dresser near the door and placed it around his neck before uttering, "I love you..." again.

Alas, he slowly paced forward, slamming the forest green door behind him, wondering off into the rainy night.

Josephine fell to her hands and knees and began to wail her eyes out.

Diamond slowly crept down stairs and said in an adolescent tone, "Mommy? Where did Daddy go?" A Ralts appeared behind him, clinging to his leg.

"Daddy...Daddy is of to work again, Diamond." She crawled over to him and hugged him from her knees, "He'll be back, I hope."

Diamond managed to keep a straight face, as he never cried except for the day he was first spanked in the Hospital. Diamond had never been emotional, always intelligent however.

"You just promise me one thing, Diamond."

"Yes, Mommy?"

"You promise, if you're Daddy doesn't come back, please, please, go find him. Please." She began to sniff and hiccup as Diamond held her in his small arms.

"O...ok, Mommy."

...

...


-----

"-sigh-" Diamond exhaled as he crossed newly built bridge on river and stream filled Route 209. He had stayed in Hearthome the whole morning to see if he could face the Gym Leader. Turns out, the Gym Leader wasn't there, nor had the city selected one yet.

Diamond began to have mixed feelings about "releasing" Sam.

Should he apologize? No, Sam was his first Pokemon, and ought to be his strongest. Then again, it's not about the strongest, right? Right?

Diamond didn't no what to think, "Ah, Sam, will come back right guys?" He held his Pokeballs in his hands, looking at Trident, Dex, and Rose, "I mean, I wasn't that hard on him, was I?"

When his Pokemon failed to answer, he stuffed the Pokeballs back into his pocket, "Erm..." He cleared his throat as he headed north, noticing a building up ahead towards the right.

He took out his map of the Sinnoh region, eyeing a city called Canalave, before looking towards Solaceon Town, "So I'm near Solaceon Town, huh?" He said quietly, "Then that must be the Lost Tower."

-----

Meanwhile in Sandgem Town...

Prof. Rowan was inside his lab, studying an Eevee that he had just received from one of his lab assistants, "It seems that Team Galactic is especially interested in Eevee even more, now that it has two new evolutions, spotted in the Sinnoh regions. However, how are Eevees able to evolve into these new forms? They can evolve into Vaporeon, Flareon, and Jolteon with the respective stones. Also, they evolve into Umbreon and Espeon with maximum happiness in either the moonlight or sunlight. What makes them evolve into Leafeon and Glaceon is still a mystery, as no one has witnessed it yet...hmm. I'll have to ask Dawn."

He sent a signal to Dawn's Pokedex.

Dawn, who was currently in Hearthome City, helping repair the Contest Arena, all the while, still winning ribbons, answered her Pokedex, "Yes sir, Prof.?"

"Dawn, what have you heard about the two new Eevee evolutions?"

"Um, Professor, I'm sorry to say that I know nothing about them. I've seen someone try to use a Leaf Stone on an Eevee and it didn't work. And unfortunately, there is no recorded Ice Stone. We're out of luck. However..."

"Yes?"

"I did see some strange, umm..., rock in the Eterna Forest. I mean, it was the only rock there covered in moss. Strange if you ask me, sir."

"Hm," the Professor stroked his white beard, "I'll send a Professor out there with the Eevee. Could you meet him in the Eterna Forest?"

"Yes sir! Over and out!"

-----

Diamond now approached the tower as he read the description on a nearby sign, "The Lost Tower - Keep Out or else." He leaned back from the post as he chuckled a bit, "Yeah, right. 'Keep Out' is begging you to come in."

He read the rest of the sign in a monotone-reading voice, " 'Let the Pokemon Rest In Peace. Ha-ha-ha! Like we ever do that! We no let Pokemon rest in peace. We gather energy for the boss! Ha-ha-ha!" Diamond stood up straight again, "What the hell?"

The lamp post was sign in purple spray paint...

...by "The Dusk Twins".

"Dusk Twins? Those goons from Team Galactic that Dawn was telling me about? Heh...I'm gonna have so much fun with these idiots." He slowly entered the Lost Tower, leaving his shadow to follow behind him.

Slowly, the door closed behind him, as he looked around at all the graves.

The floor was covered in mysterious fog as maniacal laughter was heard on the top floor.

The cackle of a Misdreavus and the call of a Murkrow could easily be heard as Diamond approached the steps, slowly ascending each floor as it grew colder and colder. Strange, because hot air rises.

Once Diamond reached the top level, there was only three grave there. From his distance, Diamond was unable to read it, but he could make out the first letter on each of the three tombstone: "D" "L" and "R".

He tried to get close, but was stopped in his tracks by two fraternal twins, boy and girl.

They both were dressed in purple psychic uniforms, holding out there left hand in front of Diamond as if to say, "Stop in the name of law!"

"You no get closer." Mark said.

"Right..right!" Marcia said.

Diamond sighed and said, "Look guys, I don't want to have to do this. I'm already in somewhat of a bad mood."

"We no care what mood you in! You be in dead mood when we through!"

They each took out two, lavender stones from behind their backs as they held it to the heavens, calling out in a ritual fashion, "Murkrow! Misdreavus! Hear us call! We give strength to you evolve!"

A Murkrow and Misdreavus flew in from the next room as they each came in contact with the stones, slowly glowing brightly before Diamond's eyes.

While shielding his eyes, Diamond grunted, falling to one knee, "Great! Just great!"

(Next: Chapter 22: VS. Honchkrow and Mismagius! Part 2)

Author's Note: So, I couldn't wait to post the new chapter! Sue me! Anyway, in this chapter, Diamond may appear to feel sorry for releasing Sam, but in a way, he doesn't.

Lash January 15th, 2008 7:05 PM

Great chapter there! Time for a few edited quotes..

Quote:

"You're always away from the house! Why?" Josephine followed her husband as he was approaching the front door, "Are you cheating on me? Is there somebody else! Please let me know!"
Quote:

"Daddy...Daddy is off to work again, Diamond." She crawled over to him and hugged him from her knees, "He'll be back, I hope."
Quote:

Diamond didn't know what to think, "Ah, Sam, will come back right guys?" He held his Pokeballs in his hands, looking at Trident, Dex, and Rose, "I mean, I wasn't that hard on him, was I?"
Only grammar errors I could find- nothing too bad. Not bad at all.

Once again, great chapter. Especially how at the end of the chapter, the appearance of the Dusk Twins and their Pokemon. I can't wait to see what happens.

TurtleKing January 15th, 2008 7:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lash (Post 3252231)
Great chapter there! Time for a few edited quotes..







Only grammar errors I could find- nothing too bad. Not bad at all.

Once again, great chapter. Especially how at the end of the chapter, the appearance of the Dusk Twins and their Pokemon. I can't wait to see what happens.

Thank you for taking the time and reviewing this chapter! Ah! I can't believe I made the "no" "know" mistake. I'm usually picky about those, but we all make mistakes :).

Once again, thanks for taking the time out to read my fic. I hope you get the opportunity to read the next chapter!

~TK

Willer January 16th, 2008 4:38 PM

Wow, I really like this. Reminds me of the actual Manga. You have good writing skills.

Legendary January 16th, 2008 4:45 PM

Ugh. Jumping into a story that's already 21 chapters in is a bit hard. Still, I've read through them all. First, the ways to improve. My advice is to go back through the earlier chapters and correct them all so that Pearl and Dawn are correctly named. Also, there are miscellanious (I just KNOW I didn't spell this right) mistakes in each of the chapters. With 22, before releasing it, read it once through so you can catch them.

The good stuff? There's LOTS, and here I did pick a good spot to jump in. First off, the three characters are developing nicely, and I am very interested to see how they progress. The Pokemon also seem to have personalities, and that certainly makes stuff great. And of course, the additional characters certainly help the story stray from the normal D/P. Can't wait for #22.

TurtleKing January 17th, 2008 1:02 PM

Quote:

Wow, I really like this. Reminds me of the actual Manga. You have good writing skills.
Thank you! I try to blend the style of the Manga with my own.

Quote:

Ugh. Jumping into a story that's already 21 chapters in is a bit hard. Still, I've read through them all. First, the ways to improve. My advice is to go back through the earlier chapters and correct them all so that Pearl and Dawn are correctly named. Also, there are miscellanious (I just KNOW I didn't spell this right) mistakes in each of the chapters. With 22, before releasing it, read it once through so you can catch them.

The good stuff? There's LOTS, and here I did pick a good spot to jump in. First off, the three characters are developing nicely, and I am very interested to see how they progress. The Pokemon also seem to have personalities, and that certainly makes stuff great. And of course, the additional characters certainly help the story stray from the normal D/P. Can't wait for #22.
I'm so glad that you took the time to read all 21 chapters. I try to keep them not too short, but not too long. The chapters are generall long enough for a reader to get into it, but not short of enough to look well....lame.

Yeah, I have tendency to just post a chapter after spell checking it, and not reading for grammatical mistakes. I guess I'm sort of anxious to see what readers have to say about my fic. I'll try to keep that in mind.

Thanks for the compliments everybody!

~TK

TurtleKing January 21st, 2008 10:57 AM

Hey, guys~! It's been a week almost, and you know what that means!

Yep! Time for a new chapter of Poke Special Manga DP! Be expecting it this week!

TurtleKing January 24th, 2008 8:31 PM

Chapter 22: VS. Honchkrow and Mismagius! Part 2 http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa430.png http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa429.png

They each took out two, lavender stones from behind their backs as they held it to the heavens, calling out in a ritual fashion, "Murkrow! Misdreavus! Hear us call! We give strength to you evolve!"

A Murkrow and Misdreavus flew in from the next room as they each came in contact with the stones, slowly glowing brightly before Diamond's eyes.

While shielding his eyes, Diamond grunted, falling to one knee, "Great! Just great!"


-----

Once the glowing subsided, there, floating in the air, was a large, blue crow looking Pokemon with a head looking similar to a mob/gang hat. It had a white breast and a blue tail with red tips.

The other Pokemon looked like a banshee, much uglier than its previous form, Misdreavus. It too had a head, shaped like a hat, and also had intimidating eyes and a red jewel on its chest.

"Me know that you are ready to be buried!" Mark said, with a cackle.

"And now we show power of Team Galactic!" Marcia commented as they both sent their newly evolved Pokemon toward Diamond.

"Mismagius! Magical Leaf!"

"Honchkrow! Night Slash!"

Mismagius chanted slowly, as its eyes began to glow in a lime green color. Green leaves surrounded by rainbow-colored energy appeared around it. Immediately afterwards, the leaves fired toward Diamond, as he ducked and dodged the leaves, hiding behind a tombstone, where a Marowak was currently buried.

"You run, but you no hide!"

Honchkrow was up next, as its left wing turned entirely black, like a shadow, slashing its wing through the Tombstone and slamming into Diamond from behind.

Diamond went airborne, hitting the northern brick wall before colliding into the ground.

"Umph," he struggled to get up, but eventually stood, "Argh. These guys are much tougher than Dawn led on. Figures. She's known to lie!" He reached into his pocket as he began to think up a strategy.

"Honchkrow. A Dark/Flying-type. Hmm. Dexter would take care of it. But what about Mismagius? It's a Ghost-type?" He continued to think, "Oh yeah! I forgot Rose was part Dark-type. She can take down Mismagius with the right attacks. But she doesn't know any Dark-type moves. Damn it."

He looked forward to his two opponents as they sent their vicious Pokemon at him again.

"Heh....I've got it."

Quickly revealing two Pokeballs in his hand, Diamond pressed the pressure sensor on the front of the Pokeballs as they exploded open, revealing Dexter, his Pachirisu, and Rose, his Stunky.

Diamond smirked and said, "First, gotta get rid of the weak link. That would be Mark and Honchkrow!" He turned to face Dexter, "Dex, stand in front of Rose and don't let her get injured!"

Dex nodded as the white electric squirrel Pokemon stood in front of Rose, its cheeks becoming charged with blue electricity.

Honchkrow swooped down towards the two Pokemon as Mark shouted, "Again with the Night Slash!"

Again, Honchkrow's wing turned into a dark shadow as it neared Dexter.

Diamond thrusted his hand forward, "Let's shock this bird! Discharge!"

Dex closed his eyes tightly as he sent out a wave of electrical energy towards the crow Pokemon. The waves wrapped around Honchkrow before squeezing its stomach tightly, not only shocking the avian, but paralyzing it.

Honchkrow lightly fell to the ground with a shocked look on its face and remained in the same emotion through out the rest of the battle, because it was defeated.

Because of this defeat, Rose smiled brightly and began to shine...brightly.

Mark fell to his knees as he tended to his Honchkrow, "No! No! No! You no go!"

Marcia sneered, "No Mark! Least of problems! The boy Pokemon evolve!"

-----

Rose continued to grow in size and shape before revealing her fully evolved form: A dark, lavender-colored skunk Pokemon, with brown marks here and there. Her tail now extended from her buttocks to her back and covered the top of her head. It's nose and mouth area was shaped like a human buttocks.

"Skun...Skuntank!"

Diamond grinned, "Rose, remember that move we were working on 'In Case Of Emergency?'"

The newly evolved Skuntank nodded her head before turning to face Diamond, her buttocks in the direction of Mark, Marcia, and their Pokemon.

Mismagius looked confused as it stared at Rose's butt, seemingly attracted to it, "Mage...magius?"

Marcia waved her arms and shook her head rapidly, trying to protect the Ghost Pokemon, "No! No! No get near! No! No get near!"

Diamond chuckled as Mismagius floated in his direction, nearing Rose's buttocks as it let off a rather soothing, and pleasant smell for once, indicating her happiness.

Finally, Diamond could not wait any further, "EXPLOSION!"

He returned Dex as he ran to take cover behind a large tombstone. He tightly closed his eyes and placed his right index finger in his right ear and left index finger in his left ear.

Rose closed her eyes tightly as well before squeezing an enormous load of flatulence out of her behind. The flatulence almost looked similar to a flaming, Hyper Beam attack, however, it came out of her buttocks, strangely enough.

Anyway, the beam totally blasted the two trainers and their Pokemon out of the tower and sent the flying all the way across Sinnoh. Definitely out of the area and probably off of the region.

-----

Later, Diamond got out of hiding as he stared at the massive hole in the wall, "Eh...I'll let the owners of the tower take care of that." He looked to Rose who was still facing the opposite direction. Her buttocks was now letting off a black, stinky smoke that rose to the ceiling.

The entire room smelled of human flatulence, causing Diamond and his Pokemon to immediately leave the Lost Tower.

-----

As Diamond traveled North, he entered the Breeding Center in the town of Solaceon. Not necessarily there to breed, he took a bath with his Pokemon in the pool out in the backyard of the Center, wanting to get Rose's explosion after-smell off of him.

While bathing, the Center lady approached him, "Ah, young man, my ask you a favor?"

Diamond sat up in the pool, rubbing his arms with Tamato Berry juice, "Yes ma'am? I'll do anything for you since you've provided me with this Tamato Berry juice bath. I've needed it after what I've been through."

The elder lady smiled uneasily, "Ok, well. My husband was out towards east Solaceon again and well...he had some theory about this strange Pokemon at a place called the Hallowed Tower. He showed me this 'tower' but all I saw was a small shrine made of tiny boulders."

She reached into her pocket and handed Diamond a stone with two dots on the front and a crack, splitting the dots, "This was the strange item he found near the 'tower'. He went back out again to look over the shrine again, but he hasn't come back. Could you take this to him for his research?"

Diamond got out of the pool as he returned his Pokemon. He took possession of the item and said, "Sure!"

-----

So, later that night, Diamond got dressed after freshening up. Earlier before going out to the "tower", he had trained Trident, Rose, and Dex. He didn't know what to expect so he wanted his Pokemon to be top of the line once he got there.

Instinctively, he reached into his left pocket for Sam's Pokeball. Taking it out, he pressed the sensor on the front of the Pokeball, only to find out that the ball was empty, "Ah...Sam..." He bit his lip as he looked down at the ground.

Later, he reached the shrine the Center lady had spoke of. He studied it closely, confused, "What? How could this small thing be a tower?"

In his hand, he held the stone the lady had given to him as he read a sign near the shrine:

Down Here I Am Alone
Please Return My Odd Keystone
Your Wishes Of Me Are Overdue
Descend The Earth To Face Spiritomb


Diamond thought for a moment, " 'To Face Spiritomb?' What the hell is a Spiritomb?" He noticed a small statue holder near the middle of the shrine, "Hm, that must be where this stone, the Odd Keystone, goes."

He extended his arms across the shrine and gently placed it on the holder. Moments later, the ground below him shook. The tower ascended torwards the skies, restoring its true form: a two story, creepy tower.

Diamond looked up at the structure, "A-a-ah...A tower?"

Screams could be heard coming from the tower as Diamond gulped, "Alright. I made a promise to the Breeding Center lady though! I can't let her down." He exhaled deeply as he entered the tower.

As he got inside, Diamond noticed a man floating in midair, seemingly possessed. He ran over and tugged on his left leg, bringing him down, "This must be the old man. He looks old! I better grab him and get him out of here."

An inhuman moan could be heard from behind Diamond, causing the boy to shiver a bit. He turned around as he dropped the man to the floor, 'W-w-who's there?"

Then, right before his eyes, a purple, ghost-like cyclone with lime green spots and lime green eyes floated in front of him. Below the creature was the stone Diamond had placed on the shrine, the Odd Keystone.

"So this item m-must awakens this....thing." He took out his Pokedex as it gave him information on this Pokemon.

"Spiritomb, the Forbidden Pokemon. Spiritomb is a Ghost/Dark-type Pokemon that has no type weaknesses. Its signature attack is Dark Pulse."

Spiritomb groaned and moaned again as it neared Diamond slowly.

Diamond stepped back shivering as his hands wouldn't allow him to reach for his Pokeballs.

(Next: Chapter 23: VS. Spiritomb!)

Legendary January 24th, 2008 8:47 PM

Well, Diamond's screwed. I mean, he's obviously going to catch it, I mean, Pearl is gonna rescue him, I mean...

Something. No idea what's gonna happen next, which is a good thing.

All in all, a nice continuation. Can't wait till next week.

TurtleKing January 25th, 2008 2:17 PM

Haha. Thanks for the comment. You never know what's going to happen next!

Percy Thrillington January 25th, 2008 4:34 PM

Well, Tk, one of your best chapters so far, possibly your best, even. The description was brilliant, the action left me wanting more and (like Legendary) I have no clue what's going to happen next.

Just a few things:

Quote:

Finally, Diamond could not wait any further, "EXPLOSION!"


No need for the capitals.

Quote:

"Ah...Sam..."


There should be a space between the dot and Sam.

Anyways, I really liked this, you're definitely improving, compared to, say, your first chapter.

TurtleKing January 25th, 2008 9:18 PM

Guys, I've been having a good and inspired week! Because of this, you guys get two chapters! That's right, TWO! The next chapter will be posted shortly!

TurtleKing January 25th, 2008 9:23 PM

Chapter 23: VS. Spiritomb! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa442.png

"Spiritomb, the Forbidden Pokemon. Spiritomb is a Ghost/Dark-type Pokemon that has no type weaknesses. Its signature attack is Dark Pulse."

"A Pokémon that was formed by 108 spirits. It was bound to a fissure in an Odd Keystone as punishment for misdeeds 500 years ago."

-----

Diamond stood in disbelief of the purple, floating vortex Pokemon. Although he had been in intense battles before, Diamond never faced anything as menacing as this Spiritomb was. He stepped back as the ghost slowly neared him, groaning in an intimidating way.

"Think, Diamond, think. What can I do to stop this thing." Diamond looked down and noticed the Breeding Center elder, "Ah, I totally forgot about him. Now I have to protect him, too." His eyes quickly glanced up at Spiritomb, only to find out that it was preparing an attack!

A transparent, purple energy sphere appeared in front of Spiritomb's crooked mouth. After about ten seconds in charging up the attack, Spiritomb fired the Dark Pulse towards Diamond.

Instinctively, Diamond duck, wrapping his arm around the man. Once the attack had passed by, he picked up the man as he carried him on his back, similar to the way a father would piggyback his child, "Ah! This is going to be tough!" He ran up the steps as Spiritomb floated quickly after him, moaning angrily at the boy.

Diamond glanced behind his back while carrying the man, and noticed Spiritomb sending a few waves of blue energy at the boy.

Suddenly, Diamond's pace slowed as he ascended the steps until the point he collapsed, resting near the top of the staircase.

When this happened, he dropped the body of the elderly Breeding Center man, causing it to stumble and somersault down the steps and back toward the entrance of the Hallowed Tower.

Diamond lay there, asleep, because of Spiritomb's Hypnosis...

...

...

"A-a-ah? Wh-where am I?"

Diamond stood, looking around. Where exactly was he? One minute, he was in the Hallowed Tower, and the next, he was in some sort of cave, "Ah, well, I guess I better look around to find out, right?"

He stepped forward as he began to stroll the cave. Near the ceiling of the cavern, were lights, allowing the cave to be visible in its entirety.

After hours of endless strolling, Diamond paused as he peeked around the corner and saw four shadowy figures.

One of them was probably the most recognizable, as it was the shadow of Kirlia.

"Sam?" Diamond whispered to himself, wanting to get closer, but feared for his safety, "No, I'll wait and see what's going on..."

The next shadow was a Pokemon that Diamond was familiar with, but for some reason, couldn't manage to make it out. Next to this Pokemon was a tall man, dressed in a suit. Diamond could tell by the posture of the man, that this was his father.

"D-dad? He's alive?"

Finally, the shadow standing across from Sam, Diamond's father, and his Pokemon, was a tall man with a hairstyle shaped like a "U".

The man with the weird hairstyle spoke, "Listen, Mercury, you can't dare betr-"

"My name is not Mercury! My name is --"

"I could give a Rattata's ass what your name is. You are a part of Team Galactic and now you're going to up and betray us?" The man chuckled, "Heh, are you out of your mind?"

"No. I'm sane. You and your brother are the ones out of mind. You lied to me and said you wanted to create a better world for the good of mankind and Pokemon. Instead, Team Galactic just want a better world for themselves. I now realize that the world we live in now may not be perfect, but I know that this world has many beautiful things."

Sam's shadow shifted as it stood, ready for a fight.

"Saturn, you have to stop this..."

Saturn chuckled, "I'm afraid I can't. Actually, I'm not afraid. I won't stop. Never. Now, it's time you die."

"So be it..."

A small pop sound was heard as another shadow emerged in the light.

"Rhyperior, Horn Drill'em all!" Saturn's shadow disappeared as the Rhyperior roared, its drill coming close to making contact with Diamond's father.

"Dad! No! Look out!" Diamond got out of hiding, only to find out that nothing was there.

Nothing at all.

Suddenly the lights in the cave turned off as a cackle was heard from behind Diamond. A flash of lime green lights appeared behind Diamond, causing him to turn around and face Spiritomb.

Then, Diamond fell to his knees, grasping his head tightly, "Argh! Spiritomb tricked me! Ehh!"

-----

Diamond awoke from his slumber in a dark chamber, now suddenly lit. He quickly got to his feet, looking around for Spiritomb.

Finally, it emerged from the walls, floating around Diamond, groaning.

Diamond sneered, shutting his eyes, "Alright, enough of this. You pushed it too far, giving me that horrible nightmare." He reached into his pocket, pulling out Trident's Pokeball, "Now, it's time to put you to rest Spiritomb!"

He tossed the Pokeball forward, as it burst open, releasing Trident, his Prinplup. Trident placed his hands on his hips before saluting like a superhero, "Prin! Prinplup! Prin!"

Spiritomb wasn't fazed by this, and immediately shot another Dark Pulse beam in Trident's direction.

"Ice Beam!"

Trident opened its beak quickly, firing a beam of cyan blue ice at the Dark Pulse, causing a long stand still tie of both Pokemon firing their respective beams.

Meanwhile Diamond sneaked off behind Spiritomb, grasping for the Odd Keystone. Once Spiritomb recognized this, it relaxed itself from Dark Pulse. Two ghost like fist appeared in front of it as it punched Diamond in the gut repeatedly, using Sucker Punch.

Trident saw this and waddled quickly over to Spiritomb, both of its claws appearing from under its feather. The claws turned into a silver color, similar to that of metal. Bouncing up, Trident hacked and slashed at Spiritomb's face with its Metal Claw attack, to the point Spiritomb only focused on the Prinplup.

Diamond thudded to the ground after being punched, "Mmph!" He sat up, "OK, I need some help."

He reached into his pocket again, taking out Dex's Pokeball. He threw the ball at the wall as it burst open, freeing the Pachirisu.

"Dex, let's hold Spiritomb still! Discharge!"

Dex nodded as it moved from side to side, while releasing the wave of blue electrical energy. The wave wrapped around Spiritomb and then squeezed tightly onto it.

Spiritomb roared out in pain before dropping to the ground, temporarily paralyzed.

Diamond ran over to try and retrieve the Odd Keystone, but Spiritomb broke free of its paralysis, and launched at Diamond.

Diamond tried to skid to a halt, but ended up sliding right through the Ghost Pokemon and colliding with the wall, hurting himself.

He rested on the ground, while rubbing his head, "Ah, my head."

Spiritomb cackled loudly, preparing to attack. It opened its crooked mouth once more as Diamond gulped, holding up his hands to try and block any attack from being successful. Purple energy appeared in front of Spiritomb as it unleashed its--

...

...

Frozen.

Yes, frozen on the spot.

Trident's frozen fist was planted in the backside of Spiritomb as it slowly fell to the ground and broke into pieces of ice, scattered across the dusty floor. Trident exhaled deeply before saluting Diamond, "Prin! Prin!"

Diamond chuckled, "Thanks, Trident."

The frozen bits slowly disintegrated into the floor, as the Odd Keystone lay in front of Diamond, "Somehow, I think this Odd Keystone helps give Spiritomb its power. Phew, I'll never do that again. We most likely disturbed it in its slumber."

He stood, as a door magically appeared at the end of the dungeon. Diamond, Trident, and Dex slowly walked towards it, as Diamond read an inscription on the exit:

Spiritomb has been defeated by Trainers few
You are now one of them, congrats to you
You've proven to me that you have nerve
I trust you have the strength to save the world

Diamond stood there, confused and puzzled, "Was Spiritomb actually helping us?" He looked down to Trident and Dex as they nodded, guessing so.

"It trusts me to save the world? But...," he looked down and then opened the door, "Ah..." He was speechless, now thinking about the dream he had when Spiritomb used Hypnosis on him.

Was his father in actually trouble? And Sam, is he with him?

-----

Later, at the Breeding Center...

"Thank you so much, young man. I'm glad you learned plenty at the Hallowed Tower," the Breeding Center lady said, happily.

"I told you it existed," the elderly man said, dressed in a cowboy outfit, "All the other varmints thought I was crazy, but I knew!" He nodded at Diamond in approval.

Diamond chuckled and agreed, "Yes, thanks to both of you. By any chance, did a tall man dressed in a suit come by this town?"

The lady thought for a moment, "Oh! Yes! He came by to pick up an egg. He said it was to be a gift for his son, once he was an able trainer who not only was strong physically, but mentally. He had pale skin and blue hair, I recall."

Diamond blushed a bit, "Wh-when did you see him!?"

"Earlier this month actually! He said he's headed back west though so he's long gone."

Diamond nodded, still blushing, "OK, thanks. I'll see you guys later then?" He exited to Center as he headed north, thinking about his father while en route to Veilstone City.

-----

Meanwhile...

"Get these friggin' Psyducks off of me!!!"

A pile of Psyducks lay ontop of a smothered Pearl. He had been traveling North heading for Veilstone, but got sidetracked by the tens of thousands of Psyducks, blocking a route to another city.

"Somebody! Anybody!!!"

(Next: Chapter 24: VS. Psyducks!)

Legendary January 25th, 2008 9:29 PM

Now that's an awesome chapter. Btw, VS Psyducks! is Chapter 24, not 23. Still, it looks like they're zooming right along in their adventure.

TurtleKing January 28th, 2008 3:43 PM

Alright. Some people are wondering "How many Volumes/Chapters will Poke Special Manga DP have?"

Well, I've come to this conclusion:

Poke Special Manga: DP is set and planned to have 106 Chapters in 9 volumes:
Vol. 1 - 9 Chapters
Vol. 2 - 11 Chapters
Vol. 3 - 16 Chapters
Vol. 4 - 14 Chapters
Vol. 5 - 12 Chapters
Vol. 6 - 10 Chapters
Vol. 7 - 12 Chapters
Vol. 8 - 11 Chapters
Vol. 9 - 11 Chapters

This, however, is just a projection, meaning the number of chapters is subject to change. Especially the current one, Vol., because I feel that there are too many chapters in the third volume, however, I am getting deeper into the NTR and TG plot, so I guess more chapters are needed.

Anymore questions that are NonSpoiler related, ask me :).

Legendary January 28th, 2008 10:31 PM

I'd add an extra chapter. Why? 'Cuz Gen IV had 107 new Pokemon, and it'll seem cooler that way. ;P

TurtleKing January 29th, 2008 12:48 PM

Heh, good one!

I already have an idea of what I want for each chapter, including several arcs and such.

TurtleKing January 31st, 2008 12:48 PM

Chapter 24: VS. Psyducks! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa054.pnghttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa054.pnghttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa054.pnghttp://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa054.png

Going through the tall grass up Route 10, Diamond continued on his long journey. He sighed as he stretched his arms towards the sky, already allowing Trident, Rose, and Dex out of their Pokeballs. Dex was currently on Diamond's left shoulder while Trident and Rose strolled with Diamond at his side.

A distant familiar voice could be heard down the path.

"Help! Help!"

Diamond's ears twitched as he said, "Hm, someone is in trouble? Let's go see!" He looked to his Pokemon as they agreed.

They ran down the path until they met a fork in the road with two paths. To the east was the route to Veilstone and to the north was...

...Pearl being smothered by "thousands" of Psyducks?

Diamond stared blankly at Pearl among the yellow duck Pokemon, "Uh, Pearl? Yeah, um, what the hell are you doing?"

Pearl snarled as he tried to fight his way through the Psyduck, "What's it look like Diamond? I'm caught between a rock and a hard place."

"Technically," Diamond rose his right hand as he held up his index finger, "It's Psyducks and a hard--"

"Shut it! Just get me outta here."

Diamond nodded, "Whatever you say." He looked to Dex, "Dex, you're an Electric-type Pokemon. Use your Discharge attack to get these Psyducks off Pearl, won'tcha?"

Dex nodded before springing forward, hopping up and down, "Pachi! Chi pa!" Quickly, blue lightning emerged from the squirrel Pokemon's body as the ring of static surrounded the Psyducks. Soon, the electrical ring squeezed the Psyducks and shocked them with amazing power. However, in this process, Pearl was shocked as well and was knocked out cold as his body rolled over to Diamond's feet.

"Pitiful," Diamond said as he looked to Rose, "Hey Rose? Would you mind waking Pearl up?"

Rose snickered as she slowly walked over to Pearl, placing her buttocks close to Pearl face. Silently, she released a deadly, nonpoisonous gas in Pearl's face. Pearl opened his opal eyes and instantly awoke jumping up and down, "Ah! Diamond! Why the hell would you send your Skuntank to fart in my face!?"

"'Cause.."

Pearl sighed as he dusted himself off, looking at the Psyducks. They still hadn't moved yet, "I wonder why they are here."

Diamond nodded, "Yeah, I can't help but think that somebody is behind this."

"Maybe Team Galactic?" Pearl asked as he looked in Veilstone's direction, "You haven't been to Veilstone yet? Heh, just got my badge from there. Face it, I'm better than you. I'm going to defeat all the Gym Leaders, Team Galactic, and get Dawn before you."

Diamond snorted as he walked toward Veilstone, "Good luck with that."

Pearl snarled as he watched Diamond and his Pokemon walk away, "Argh! What makes you tick!? You're so unemotional at tiems, ya know that Dia?"

Diamond chuckled as he said, "C'mon Pearl. We should find someone in Veilstone who knows about this Psyduck situation."

Pearl, unfortunately, agreed and ran after Diamond.

As the boys left, on the other side of the Psyduck, there was a deep and dense fog. An outline of a tall man could be seen, appearing to have his arms folded. The man chuckled a bit as the outline of his body disappeared in the fog.

-----

"Back here again...ugh. I despise you Diamond!" Pearl said, jokingly of course, as he lightly nudged Diamond on the shoulder, "You should go to the Gym and I'll see if anyone can give me info about the Psyduck."

Diamond agreed as he headed south while Pearl headed north.

As he was walking, Diamond noticed a poster on Veilstone City's Game Corner. He went over and studied it closely. A picture of a short, young woman with a stylish pink hairstyle was posted on the entrance. On her nose she wore a bandaid and she was dressed in a blue tanktop, white sweats with a pink stripe on the sides, and she went bare foot.

The sign read:
Missing - Veilstone Gym Leader, Maylene. If any information is known, inform Casino Owner.

Diamond, curious, entered the casino. Once he was inside, there was a man blocking his way. The man held out his hand, "300$ entrance fee, son."

"Are you kid--"

"300$."

"Ugh," Diamond reached into his pocket, pulling out 300 dollars. As he was allowed inside, he noticed a familiar face at a slot machine and a not-so familiar face.

"Heh! I betcha I win this time, Crystal!" said Gold as he leaned back in his seat. On his shoulder was an Aipom who rooted him on.

Crystal was dressed somewhat similar to Gold. Her shorts were like Gold's but much shorter and tighter on her athletic body. She wore a white jacket over a tight red shirt that definitely expressed her large bust. She had two long ponytails that curved upward. Crystal's blue hair was covered by a stylish cap.

"Mmm, I dunno Gold. We've been here all day. Maybe your luck is here in Sinnoh, rather Johto." she said with a chuckle.

-----

Meanwhile, Pearl was around town, asking about the Psyduck situation. Just then, a man with magenta colored hair walked up to Pearl, "Excuse me, have you seen a young woman named Maylene? She's a little older than you based on looks and she has pink hair. The only woman in town with pink hair. Have you seen her?"

Pearl shook his head, "No, I'm sorry. Last time I seen her was at the gym." He looked back west, "I have question for you as well. There are Psyducks on the western route, blocking the way to the northern route. Is there anyway they can be moved?"

Just then, Cynthia walked from behind Pearl, "Hm, you must be Pearl?" She appeared to have a large potion in her hand, "Here," she handed it to him, "spray this on each Psyduck and they should disband to the wild."

Pearl was confused, "Wait a minute, I'm confuzzled. Who are--?"

She was gone, just that fast.

"Boy I tell ya," the man said to Pearl, "That lady sure is suspicious. She keeps popping in and out of town from time to time like she's hiding something."

Pearl raised a brow, "Hmm. Well, I'll let you know if I find your missing woman."

He trailed off to the south.

-----

Back in the Game Corner...

Gold snorted, "If I don't win here, Mask of Ice is coming back."

Crystal giggle, "I wouldn't say that Gold."

"Ah, you again." Diamond said as he approached the two, "I thought you were leaving for Johto."

Gold grinned, "Ah, it's the angry guy again. No, I'm not leaving for Johto. The Professor has an important mission for me to accomplish." He shooed Diamond away, "Now, I don't have time to battle amateur's anymore. I'm gambling."

Crystal sighed as she smacked her forehead, "He has a gamblin prob---"

"No I dont!" Gold shouted, sweating bullets.

Diamond chuckled and said, "It's obvious that you--"

"Don't start!"

"Who are you yelling at!?" Diamond said in calm, but threatening tone.

Gold pulled down the roulette, "You!"

Just then the boys grappled, causing Game Corner official to restrain the boy.

"I'm sorry young men," said one of the officers, "but you'll have to leave the premises."

Just as the officer said this, the slot machines stopped: Red 7, White 7, Blue 7.

Gold had won the jackpot!

"Hey look, I won!" Gold pointed to the screen as coins came flying out of the faucet and into Gold's coin bucket.

"I'm sorry, but you cannot accept these prizes, due to the fact that I told you to leave the premises before the jackpot occured."

Gold was literally infuriated. He stood as veins started to become visible on his neck. His eyes widen as he clenched the top of his seat while Crystal and Diamond held him back with all of their might, "Lemme go! Lemme go!"

"Gold!" Crystal shouted while struggling to grapple him, "Money isn't everything! Come on, let's get out of here!"

Eventually, Diamond and Crystal dragged Gold out of the casino, each holding a foot. The officer slammed the front doors as they left. Gold stood on his feet and dusted himself off, "Those casino guys are full of it! I won the jackpot fair and square."

Diamond scratched his head as he said, "Yeah, but rules are rules. Look, obviously we got started out on the wrong foot," he extended his hand, "Truce?"

"Truce," Gold sighed as he shook Diamond's hand.

Crystal giggled as she said, "Come on boys, I'll get you something to eat. My treat!"

As they walked off, Gold commented, "It'd be my treat if I had my jackpot money."

As the trio began searching around the city for a restaurant, Pearl ran up from in front of them, "Hey Dia! Some lady gave me this potion. She was all goth looking." He held out the potion as Gold took it.

"Hm, looks like a SecretPotion. Like the one used to cure Amphy."

Crystal smiled as she placed her hands on her hips, "Speaking of Amphy, we've got to go to Sunyshore, Gold. Come on." She grabbed his wrist and began to run off, "So sorry I can't buy a meal for you, Diamond! I promise I'll make up for it!"

Diamond watched as the two disappeared into the horizon.

Just as things got quiet between Diamond and Pearl...

"That girl was smoking!" Pearl rubbed his hands together.

Diamond groaned, "What about Dawn?"

"She's hot, too."

Diamond slapped his forehead, "Ugh..."

-----

Meanwhile, at the Game Corner, the supposed "officer" snickered as he began to collect the coins that Gold had won in the jackpot, "Heh heh. Fools! Actually taking me for an officer! This money will definitely help Pluto in purchasing that machine. Ooh, I'm gonna get a promotion and maybe even a kiss!"

With a pull of the collar, the officer uniform was pull off of the chubby man's body, revealing a clown uniform.

That dumb clown from Jubilife, Harold, had managed to trick Gold, Crystal, and shockingly, Diamond!

"Heh!"

(Next: Chapter 25: VS. Machamp)

Trainer Updates: Pearl has received a new badge!

http://www.pokecharms.com/trainercards/cards/3112008/135ea5a23815671c68bf9adb2af0a18b.png

Legendary January 31st, 2008 4:09 PM

Pst, it's route 210...

Also, Crystal should say "rather than Johto," not just "rather Johto"

Anyways, another fun chapter; can't wait for the next one. The Machamp chapter promises to be exciting.

TurtleKing February 1st, 2008 3:40 PM

Chapter 25: VS. Machamp! http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa068.png

"I'm tellin' you Diamond, that girl is hotter than Crystal!" Pearl exlaimed as he and Diamond continued to wander around Veilstone.

"Pearl," Diamond started, "I didn't even bring up the topic about hot girls. It was all quiet until you said 'I'm tellin' you Diamond' blah blah blah blah! Is hot girls all you talk about?" He stopped and looked up at Diamond, who was about two or three inches taller than him.

"Nah. I also talk about hot women."

Diamond groaned as he walked away, leaving Pearl behind.

"Hey, can't blame a guy for being honest!"

Pearl held his Happiny, Penny, in his arms as Diamond stated, "I'm going to the gym. Do me a favor and stay out of trouble, please?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure." Pearl waved him off as he noticed a Galactic Grunt entering a building, "Hm."

Curious, Pearl followed the grunt inside the building as he quietly closed the door behind him. It was a medium sized warehouse, containing boxes everywhere. In the back, Pearl noticed a door, that the grunt was heading towards.

Penny, tired of being held, jumped out of Pearl's hands and waddled over to the grunt quickly and tugged on his pant leg, "Happiny! Piny!"

The grunt lifted his lef and said, "Ugh! Eggs move now? Go figure." He kicked the Happiny a long distance into a wall. Penny slowly slid to the ground as Pearl ran over to her and caught her, "Argh! Hey what're you doing kicking my Happiny like that?"

"Intruder! I'll vanquish you at once with this Pokemon I stole from that dumb Gym Leader!"

Pearl chuckled as he returned Penny to her Pokeball, "Boy, did that sound robotic. Ok then. I've been meaning to train my Pokemon for quite sometime." He took out three Pokeballs and tossed them in the air, "Gaia, Volt, Verde, front and center!"

With a burst of bright, white light, a Grotle, Electabuzz, and Carnivine appeared in front of Pearl, ready to fight.

The grunt smirked and said, "Heh, those week Pokemon are no match for this one." He took out an Ultraball, opening it up as it set free a large, fierce Machamp.

The Machamp seemed to have been genetically enhanced to have six arms, rather than the usual four, "Mr. Saturn did an amazing job giving this Machamp another set of arms."

Pearl wiped his nose as he chuckled confidently, but was actually nervous inside, "I don't have a Pokemon that's really just fast, but I'll have to improvise."

Thinking quickly, Pearl reverted back to his plan he used on Rhyperior back on Cycling Road, "Gaia, use Curse until you can't any further. Verde, Volt! Make sure Gaia isn't hurt!"

Gaia stayed back some as he continued to Curse himself while Verde and Volt stood guard.

The grunt exited into the backroom, leaving the Machamp to do whatever it pleased.

The Fighting-type Pokemon roared violently before stomping towards Pearl and his Pokemon. Quickly, Machamp used Wake-Up Slap continuously on Verde and Volt, even though neither one of them was asleep.

Pearl groaned as he watched his Pokemon get punished by Machamp's six palms, "Eh, as long as he isn't hurting Gaia, we still have a chance to get him." He rubbed Gaia's bushes, "Keep it up Gaia, you're almost there."

Verde managed to break free of the slaps and glided into the air. Finally descending, it clamped down on Machamp's head and nibbled on it repeatedly, causing the beast's arms to concentrate on the Carnivine that was currently on its head.

"Volt, Swift!"

As Volt was freed, he roated his arms repeatedly as bright stars were shot from the plugs on top of his head. The golden stars fired at Machamp's abdominals.

Pearl kneeled down as he said to Gaia, "Grass Knot!"

Gaia roared as long blades of grass grew from below Machamp, tying a know around its ankle, so that it couldn't move.

"Alright," Pearl shouted to Verde, "Release!"

Verde removed its jaws from Machamp's face, as Volt stopped firing Swift at its stomach.

"Razor Leaf Gaia!"

Gaia rustled his leaves on his back, while razor sharp leaves fired at Machamp's stomach for about five straight minutes. Finally, "goliath" collapsed to the ground with a loud thud as Pearl and his Pokemon cheered for victory.

"Alright! We totally throttled that guy!"

After a one minute pause, Machamp slowly sat up white Pearl had his back turned. It quietly neared Pearl as its arms attempted to grab him.

Suddenly, Machamp stopped in its place and fell forward. Pearl and his Pokemon quickly jumped to the side as Machamp was finally fainted, a frozen spot on its back.

Pearl looked to where the attack came from, and sure enough Diamond was standing there with Trident.

"Didn't I tell you to stay out of trouble?" Diamond said like a big brother.

"But I--"

"Ah!" Diamond stopped him.

"I--"

"AH!"

There was a long pause as the two stared at each other.

...

...

...

"You kno--"

"Pearl!"

"Can I explain the situation? I saw a Galactic Grunt enter the building and I decided to investigate." Pearl gazed at him.

Diamond sighed, "Again with this Galactic crap. I'm going to find the gym, for real." He left the warehouse as Pearl watched him leave.

"Well, if he's not gonna investigate, I will." He returned his Pokemon and creeped into the next room, overhearing conversation.

"Ms. Maylene, are you sure you do not want to join Team Galactic?" said the voice of Saturn.

A lady stood across from Saturn, arms folded as her nose wrinkled up, "Hell no. I've no need to join an evil organization. I repeat, NO!"

Saturn reached for his belt as Maylene stood in a defensive battle stance, "No need to fight, I'm simply reaching for my..."

He released a purple frog Pokemon with a bored expression on its face.

"...Croagunk!"

Pearl ran into the room, "Hold it right there!"

Saturn turned his attention to the door as he saw Pearl standing there in the doorway, "............"

Maylene stared as well, ".............."

"Oh come on! Don't I get any respect?" Pearl groaned.

Saturn turned towards Pearl, "Who in the blue hell are you? Oh wait a minute! I remember! You were that kid who got lucky and ALMOST defeated that Rhyperior I set loose!"

Pearl pointed his finger at Saturn as it trembled, "That was YOUR Pokemon! Oh my god! We almost got killed!"

Saturn nodded, making a fake smile, "That was the plan."

Maylene slowly backed towards the door, coming closer to Pearl.

Croagunk breaved heavily as Saturn whispered a command in Pokemon-tongue. The poison dart frog Pokemon nodded as it jumped up, it's fingertips glowing light purple as it slapped Pearl across the face.

Lucky for Maylene, she managed to escape, while Pearl lay there on the floor, gasping for air as his right cheek began to turn read from the impact of Croagunk's palm to his face.

(Next: Chapter 26: VS. Croagunk!)

Author's Note: Probably the last chapter of the week, I'm not sure. Considering typing up VS. Croagunk tonight or tomorrow morning. However, tonight, I'll be watching the Tag Battle Arc so I doubt I'll do it tonight. Happy reading you guys!

Man! Almost 4000+ Hits and we're only a quarter of the way done with this fic! Thanks guys!

Willer February 1st, 2008 10:07 PM

That was great! Nice hook from the start, good battle scene, keep it up.

TurtleKing February 2nd, 2008 8:11 AM

Chapter 26: VS. Croagunk http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa453.png

As Diamond walked through the sliding doors of the Veilstone City Gym, he was immediately confronted by quadruplet karate brothers. They were much taller than Diamond was, so he had to look up to all of them, "Um, hello? I'm here to challenge the Gym Leader."

"We have not seen her," they all said in unison before making a battle cry," however with our looooooooove, coooooooooooourage, hooooooooooope and teeeeeeeeeeears, we shall succeed in finding her! Until then, you must train and train you must."

Diamond began to sweat, "OK, I trained before I got here. I did all of that before I got here, so there is no pur--"

"Train!"

"Alright! Alright! What do you want me to do?" Diamond said, taking off his backpack as he set it near the entrance. He carried his Pokeballs with him , "Are we going to battle?"

"No!" they each led him to the side of the room, The Gym was filled with small rooms opened and closed by pushing mobile walls on the side of the gym, "The walls must be shifted in and out of the cubicles so that the empty spaces in the walls line up with each other and a path is clear! Only then will you be able to challenge the great--"

"Hey guys!?" A familiar voice was heard from the back of the gym. There stood Maylene, waving her arms, "Just in time! We've got a challenger, huh?"

Diamond looked up and grinned, "So I don't have to do this training now that she's here?"

Maylene wagged her finger, "Unfortunately, you have to. If the Karate Quads say so, then yes, you have to. Won't take you too long. The shortest time to figure out the puzzle was an hour, by some blonde boy. In fact, the same blonde boy was at that warehouse."

Just then, she realized what she said, "Oh my, I've left him there all alone," she waved it off, "Oh, he'll be alright. He defeated me, right?"

Diamond groaned, "I better go get him." He walked to the door, but the Karate Quads cut him off.

"Once you've accepted the Gym Battle, you must not quit. That is the code of the Veilstone City Gym. You must fight for LOOOOOOOVE, COOOOOOOOOOOOURAGE, HOOOOOOOOOPE, and TEEEEEEEEARS!"

"Y'know, you guys are really starting to annoy me." Diamond said as he walked back to the side of the gym and proceeded to push the mobile walls, watching them slide to the other side of the room, "Nope, no path yet."

With that, he continued to try to solve the gym puzzle.

-----

Back at the Warehouse...

Saturn stood there, arms folded as he scowled, "Croagunk, get rid of this kid. He's becoming more annoying by the minute. I'm already mad about Ms. Maylene, but that's just a minor setback. I see now the remaining Gym Leaders want no part of this war. Fine with me. Team Galactic will take care of this ourselves."

Croagunk lifted its palm again and attempted to slam down the side of Pearl's body.

Just then, a burst of white light came from Pearl's pocket, as Penny was released from her Pokeball by her own command. Using her little hands, she managed to hold Croagunk's palm and picked up the dart frog Pokemon. Croagunk had a confused expression its face as it was sent flying into a pile of boxes.

Saturn watched, but remained emotionless, "Hm, that little Happiny is rather strong. And they also become rather decent tanks once they evolve into Chansey and Blissey."

Pearl regained his consciousness as he wiped his slobbering mouth, "Ah, man. I was out of it for awhile. Thanks Penny." He looked down to his Happiny as she cheered happily, bouncing up and down.

Saturn lifted his hand, "Croagunk."

Croagunk nodded as it leaped out of the boxes. It placed its palms together before slowly separating them, creating a large sphere of sludge in its palms. Croagunk lifted it into the air and chucked it at Penny.

Penny managed to dodge the Sludge Bombs, but Croagunk continued this same attack over and over again until Penny was hit once, twice, thrice. Then, another Sludge Bomb was sent flying into Pearl, causing him to slam back into a pole. The blonde boy groaned a bit as he rubbed his back.

"Penny Copycat!"

Penny nodded, as she proceeded to copy Croagunk, firing Sludge Bombs at the Poison-type Pokemon.

Saturn folded his arms, "Won't do you any good, kid. Did you even go to Pokemon school?"

Pearl grinned, "Just so happens my dad is a teacher there. I know that Sludge Bomb is pretty much useless against a Croagunk, but I've learned from my friend Diamond that there's more to battling than just brute force."

Saturn flinched a bit at the name Diamond, "Did you say, Diamond?"

Pearl's smile faded, "Uh, yeah?"

Saturn's eyes twitched, "Wh-where is he?"

Pearl's brows furrowed, "None of your business!"

Saturn sneered, "You better tell me, boy! Croagunk, Brick Break until I say stop!"

Croagunk leaped up and flipped forward, slamming its hands down onto Penny repeatedly until Happiny was unable to battle. Even then, Croagunk continued to pound and pound and pound the poor baby Pokemon further.

Pearl quickly returned Happiny and took out his next Pokeball, "Gaia, let's go!" He released his Grotle as move it's right foot in a Tauros-style motion, indicating it was ready to fight.

-----

At the Gym, Maylene sat on the battlefield, waiting on Diamond to solve the puzzle, "It's been 20 minutes!"

Diamond was nearly complete, surprisingly enough. He walked through a cubicle and pushed a mobile wall to the left. Then he walked through another, pushing a wall to the right, "It's mere Geometry and Guess-And-Check."

Maylene scratched her head, "Isn't Geometry like a Social Studies class?"

-----

Back at the Warehouse, Saturn continued to demand Diamond's whereabouts, "Listen son, if you tell me where Diamond is, I'll let you off free and won't have to hurt you weak Grotle."

Pearl stroked his chin, "Well, since you put it that way..."

"Yes?"

"Umm...Nah. Gaia, Body Slam!"

Gaia quickly ran forward before thrusting his body at Croagunk sending him flying into the cold, steel wall.

"We better get outta here, outta this city! This guy wants Diamond for some reason."

Pearl quickly yelled to Gaia, "Sand Tomb!"

Gaia roared loudly as small grains of sands appeared on the ground, clinging to Saturn and Croagunk's legs. Saturn attempted to move, becoming maniacal, "Where is he? Where is he? Where is he?"

"Let's go Gaia!" Pearl said as he and his Grotle ran out of the Warehouse. As they reached outside, Pearl had forgotten how large the city was, "Damn it, the gym is so far from here. It'll take me forever to get there! Argh!"

-----

"Hm, solved it!" Diamond returned to the central path and walked straight down the line to Maylene, "Alright, I'm here, and I'm ready to battle." He held a Pokeball and pointed it at Maylene.

Maylene sat up from her Indian style of sitting, "Good. I had meditated long enough and I'm finally psyched for a battle." She smirked as she held out a Pokeball, "Unfortunately, my Machamp is current in rehabilitation from getting two extra arms, so I only have one Pokemon. Alas, I don't think that it will matter: You're still going to lose."

Diamond smirked as he stood ready, "And what one Pokemon would that be."

"Seeing as this is a Fighting-type Gym, I have the perfect Fighting-type Pokemon." Maylene gently lobbed the Pokeball into the air as popped open. Finally the white light materialized into a tall, lean Pokemon.

The pokemon was a bipedal, jackal looking creature, about four feet tall. It had a pastel yellow torso with a spike at the chest area. Its fore paws were black and its pointed spikes stuck out on the external portion its paw. The Pokemon had a majority navy blue colored body, with pointed ears and two black ponytails behind the ears. Its eyes were a fierce crimson color as it stared intimidatingly at Diamond.

"Luuu..."

The hair on Diamond's back stood up as he got goosebumps from the sight of the Pokemon, "A-a-a-a Lucario?"

Maylene giggled and winked at him, "That's right. What Pokemon ya got to counter it? Either way, Lucario's a tough cookie. And I've had him since he was a little itty bitty Riolu, right Lulu?"

Lucario nodded as it squatted down lightly, pointing its paw at Diamond to make his move. It then gestured a "bring-it-on" hand signal as it smirked confidently at Diamond.

Diamond gulped, "Every time I see that Pokemon, I.....," he clenched his fists, "I can't beat it. I've never been able to beat it. I'd have to have luck on my side."

Maylene folded her arms, "Come on! I haven't got all day!"

"LOOOOOOVE! COOOOOURAGE! HOOOOOOPE! TEEEEEEEARS!"

Maylene groaned, "Not now guys."

Diamond slowly reached for his pocket, "Can't use Rose nor Dex. If only I had Sam with me right now. -sigh- Alright Trident, you've been on a streak lately, let's keep it going...."

(Next: Chapter 27: Lucario I)

Author's Note: Alright, thus wraps up a three chapter week! However, the Veilstone Arc is FAR from over! Happy reading! I probably won't be on tomorrow, due to the Super Bowl being on.

Legendary February 2nd, 2008 8:28 AM

Gah! I look away and you post two chapters! Grr... Still, glad to see Diamond suffering for treating Sam the way he did. Can't wait for the gym battle.

TurtleKing February 2nd, 2008 8:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Legendary (Post 3299580)
Gah! I look away and you post two chapters! Grr... Still, glad to see Diamond suffering for treating Sam the way he did. Can't wait for the gym battle.

Yeah, I wanted to post 3 chapters this week, rather than 2.

vudu February 3rd, 2008 9:45 AM

Awesome fanfic. I liked it alot.

Firemaker February 3rd, 2008 11:39 AM

Great job. The karate brothers are funny kind of. I can't see anything wrong with the story. Can't wait for next one.

kidstaple February 5th, 2008 2:35 PM

Well, I decided to jump into this fanfic on a whim, and am I glad that I did! OMG! It's good... that's all I got to say.

I'm starting to have withdrawls and I just got done reading the thing! AH! I need more. Now!

TurtleKing February 7th, 2008 6:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kidstaple (Post 3308064)
Well, I decided to jump into this fanfic on a whim, and am I glad that I did! OMG! It's good... that's all I got to say.

I'm starting to have withdrawls and I just got done reading the thing! AH! I need more. Now!

Thanks for jumping in! :) Two chapters will be released this week:

VS. Lucario I and VS. Toxicroak, so be on the lookout for that Friday or Saturday.

EDIT: New banner for my fic!

TurtleKing February 8th, 2008 1:12 PM

Chapter 27: VS. Lucario I http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa448.png

Nightfall had just arrived in Veilstone City, where Diamond was currently about to face off against Maylene and Pearl was lost in the city. As Pearl walked around, he noticed that he had came right back to where he started: in front of the Veilstone Warehouse.

"Ugh, something's telling me to go back inside," he said, reaching into his pocket, "but...Hey! Wait a minute!"

Pearl felt around in his pocket for his Pokedex, "My Pokedex! It's-it's gone! No way." He continued to look around and retraced his steps. The Pokedex was no where in sight at all. Pearl then faced the Warehouse door and said, "It's in there."

Slowly, he pushed open the door. It was completely dark inside. Pearl felt his way to the door in the back and noticed something different about the room this time around. The atmosphere was rather damp...moist.

Pearl wiped the water off his face, "Something is producing water to make this room damp. It feels like water is rushing on to my face!"

"Heh...that's the whole point, boy." Saturn stood behind Pearl, arms folded as his newly evolved Toxicroak stood at his side, absorbing the water molecules in the air with its Dry Skin ability, "While you were away, Croagunk was rather mad, so he forced himself to evolve. Team Galactic thrive on strong and willing Pokemon."

Pearl grinned as he took out a Pokeball, "Well, I'm the definition of will-power!" He released Volt, as the Electabuzz's fur started to produce static, due to the current atmosphere conditions.

"Is that so, huh?" Saturn scoffed, "There is no escape this time, I'm afraid. No backing away, no mercy, no changing answers."

Pearl nodded, "Agreed. However, I'm not gonna lose, so I have nothing worry about."

"Well then, let's get started shall we?"

Toxicroak and Volt sprung forward towards each other as the Pearl versus Saturn rematch began.

-----

At the same time Pearl and Saturn proceeded with their battle, Diamond had just released Trident. The Prinplup stared at Lucario before striking a heroic pose, as if Lucario was a super villain.

Maylene giggled, "Your Prinplup thinks it's a super hero? How cute! However, Lucario will have to defeat it! Let's go Lulu! Aura Sphere"

Lucario cupped its palms together, creating a blue energy sphere. It then thrusted the sphere forward at Trident.

"Dodge it, Trident!"

Trident managed to dodge the sphere, or so it seemed. The sphere returned from behind him and clobbered the Prinplup in the back with extreme force.

Diamond stood, confused, "What the hell? Trident dodged that attack! How was Aura Sphere able to come back and hit him?"

"Because," Maylene started, "Aura Sphere is a one hundred percent accurate attack. It never misses. Even if your Pokemon is able to dodge it, it will come back like a boomerang. Now, no more talking! Close Combat!"

Lucario leaped forward at Trident from behind and repeatedly palmed the Water-type Pokemon in the back. As Trident was hit by the palms twenty times, its nerve and pulses inside of its body began to slow down and speed up continuously, causing the penguin Pokemon to collapse to the floor.

"Another lesson! Lucario can sense your Pokemon's pulse speed and nerve locations. It's able to hit your Pokemon in the exact spot for extreme damage. Also sweet!" Maylene applauded herself as Diamond stood, puzzled.

"Ah, how am I supposed to beat something that is almost impossible to beat," Diamond wiped his forehead, "Hm. Nothing I can't solve, I guess. First, I gotta get Trident to attack. Trident, Ice Punch!"

Trident hopped off the ground, its palm glowing with an icy light. It charged towards Lucario and pushed its fist at the wave guiding Pokemon, but Lucario easily dodged the blow with a duck. Literally being swept on its feet by Lucario's low kick, Trident fell to the ground, slamming its skull on to the cold, tile battlefield.

Diamond groaned in frustration, "Ah! That Lucario is too quick and Trident is just too slow. There's got to be a way..." He rubbed the sides of his forehead with his right and left middle and index fingers, "Think....Think....Think..."

...

...

...

"Alright Diamond, pay close attention now." Diamond's father stood, grinning down at him.

It was a beautiful, sunny day in Twinleaf Town, outside of Diamond's home. Diamond, currently at the age of 11, watched from the sidelines as his father battled against his own Pokemon, Lucario, with one of his other Pokemon, Poliwrath.

"The key to stopping a fast Pokemon, is to alter the terrain," Diamond's father started.

"Alter the terrain?" Diamond asked, "You mean surrounding the field with rocks or ice or something like that, Dad?"

"Exactly!" Diamond's father nodded, before looking at Lucario, "Come at us Lucario! As he comes at us, Poliwrath, freeze the field with your Ice Punch!"

Poliwrath grunted as Lucario quickly dashed towards the blue Pokemon. Poliwrath lifted its hand high before slamming it to the ground, causing the grass to become completely frozen. Lucario stumbled on the battle field before slipping and slamming onto its back.

Diamond's father burst into laughter along with Diamond, Lucario, and Poliwrath.

"You see? Speed doesn't always come with balance and stability! Another tactic in battle! You got that?"

"Yep!"

"Alright, now moving on to the strong Pokemon..."

...

...

...

Diamond blinked and grinned a bit as he thought, "That's it! Speed doesn't always come with balance and stability! And I'm sure that Maylene hasn't trained her Lucario to become stable with altered terrains!"

Maylene ordered another attack, "Lulu! How about another Close Combat!"

Lucario nodded before sprinting towards Trident. Trident stood on it's webbed feet, ready to defend itself from Lucario's palms.

Diamond immediately called out an attack, "Trident! Ice Beam on the battle field beneath Lucario, quickly!"

Trident puffed out its chest before unleashing a cyan, icy beam beneath Lucario's feet. The jackal Pokemon instantly fell on to the ice, now sliding towards Trident's feet.

"And now to lower its speed even further, Bubblebeam!"

Trident opened its beak, unleashing an array of hundreds of bubbles, each popping off Lucario's body. Maylene watch as her eyes flinched at the sight of her Pokemon being injured, "Lulu!"

"Keep it up, Trident!"

The bubble assault continued on the legs of the Lucario until they were completely useless. Lucario finally was able to come to its feet, only to fall down again and hurt its lower back.

Diamond grinned, "Wrap this up Trident. Hyrdro Pump!"

Trident's beak opened again, blasting an aqua missile directly at Lucario's chest, sending the Pokemon flying into one of the mobile walls in the Gym. Lucario lay there, defeated and badly injured.

Maylene exhaled as she returned her prized Pokemon, "We'll have to take you to the Pokemon Center immediately, Lulu. However, that was an amazing battle, Diamond. You went to the bitter end, even when all seemed lost. You are definitely deserving of the Cobble Badge."

She handed the boy his third badge as Diamond placed it in his badge case, "Thank you, Maylene. I have a question though; I was wondering where you got your Lucario."

Maylene sighed and smiled, "A man gave a Riolu Egg to my father and he passed it down to me once I became Gym Leader of Veilstone City. Lulu just recently evolved, so I'm definitely not used to him yet."

Diamond nodded, "Hm. Well, I must be going. I have to find my friend." He exited the Gym as the Quad Karate Brothers bid him farewell.

"Remember young trainer! LOVE! COURAGE! HOPE! TEARS!"

-----

"Pathetic!" Saturn uttered as his Toxicroak continued to destroy Volt.

Pearl stood, "Eh, there's nothing much I can do! Toxicroak is just way too strong for Volt! Eh...no. There's got to be a way."

Toxicroak continued to stab Volt with its two sharp nails. Volt was severely and deeply cut in the body area, but somehow managed to hang on to consciousness, all the while being poisoned.

Pearl sneered, "I can't get out of this one either." He looked to the door and noticed it was protected by Saturn's two Gastrodon's, one from each coast.

"Hm, it's over you little Rowan brat. Hopefully when I kill you, it will send a message to your pathetic leader you call Professor!"

(Next: Chapter 28: VS. Toxicroak!)

kidstaple February 8th, 2008 1:21 PM

Amazing!

Lovin' it tremendously. Good descriptions and awesome chapter. Keep 'em coming, I want more!

Now! LOL.

Legendary February 8th, 2008 7:24 PM

This was Lucario Pt One? This makes me curious as to how Lucario II is gonna come about, seeing as he's already won...

*roots for a Pearl-ish victory*

TurtleKing February 8th, 2008 7:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Legendary (Post 3316537)
This was Lucario Pt One? This makes me curious as to how Lucario II is gonna come about, seeing as he's already won...

*roots for a Pearl-ish victory*

Lucario II won't be for a while. You'll understand why.

Yeah, we'll see how Pearl does. Hopefully he won't die, eh?

Legendary February 8th, 2008 7:35 PM

He can't die until Dawn legally changes her name to Garnet! Or whatever... :P

TurtleKing February 9th, 2008 8:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Legendary (Post 3316573)
He can't die until Dawn legally changes her name to Garnet! Or whatever... :P

Haha. Dawn changing her name to Garnet? Not.

Nothing too big in this spoiler tag, just something about a name.

Spoiler:
However, Dawn is only her middle name, meaning whatever the name of the third game is, will be her name. Sorta similar to Berlitz, right?

caseypokefan February 11th, 2008 12:46 PM

More, please. this is amazing! Just like the anime and game together! It is inspiring!
I want to make my own fanfic! But I am afraid it will stink, 'cause my writing sucks.

TurtleKing February 12th, 2008 7:57 PM

Chapter 28: VS. Toxicroak http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/sprites/dpmfa/dpmfa454.png

"Well," Saturn chuckled as he stepped forward, "If you don't make the first move, I will. Toxicroak, Poison Jab."

Toxicroak responded immediately as the stinger on its hand proceeded to glow in a mysterious purple hue. The poison dart Pokemon dashed toward Volt and slashed the Electabuzz in the gut sending it flying into Pearl.

As Pearl fell to the ground, he slowly help Volt and himself up. He noticed Volt had taken a serious beating, "Ah, Volt, hang in there."

Pearl looked over to the Gastrodon again, wondering, "Why the hell are Gastrodon just sitting there." He looked a bit closer and noticed that the mist of the room was caused by the two Pokemon using Rain Dance.

"Hm, no wonder Toxicroak is so strong. Hm, I wonder.." Pearl reached into his pocket and released Gaia and Verde, "I'll solve this problem immediately."

"Hm, more Pokemon," Saturn laughed, "What good will that do, Pearl?"

"You know my name?"

"Of course. Word around the Team Galactic Head Quarters is that there are three, annoying brats who are set out to ruin our plans: You, Dawn, and," he shivered, "D-d-dia-"

Pearl stood up straight as he wrapped Volt's arm around his shoulder so that the Electabuzz could balance itself, "Why are you having trouble saying Diamond's name? Is it because he scares you? Heh, tell you what. Diamond , unfortunately, wants nothing to do with our operation to stop you guys. He's a loner."

"Good decision to me. Hm, we may have to recruit that boy. He'll be more useful than his father ever was."

Pearl sneered back at him, "You'll never be able to get him to join you, trust me. Diamond's would never stoop that low to be part of a cross dressing....nation!" He burst into laughter as Volt became somewhat powerful as the room became less moist.

Saturn looked around as he noticed Toxicroak slowly beginning to gag and suffocate before returning to normal, "What the hell is this? What's going on?"

Pearl nodded his head to the left as the two Gastrodon's lay there, fainted by Gaia and Verde, "Heh, while we were conversing, my boys took care of business with your east and west Gastrodons. A bit strategic I should say. You're easily distracted."

Saturn snarled, "This changes nothing! Toxicroak will kill you. Rain or no rain!"

Toxicroak leaped at Volt but the Electabuzz capture it in its grasp. Volt tossed the Poison/Fighting-type Pokemon in the air as Pearl watched it sail down, "Double Thunder Punch!"

Volt roared as both of its fists became statically charged. The Electabuzz's fists finally made contact with Toxicroak's guts, sending it slamming into the ceiling where it was stuck to it. Toxicroak was stuck with a dead expression upon its face.

Saturn scowled as Pearl's Pokemon stood in front of him, protecting the trainer, "Give it up, Saturn. I've got you beat, in your own environment."

Soon, there was an applaud seemingly coming from no where. Pearl looked around to locate the being who was clapping, but didn't find anyone.

"-the heck?"

Pearl turned his attention back to Saturn who stood there frozen in his position. About five seconds later, Saturn's body collapsed to the ground in pieces of glowing bits. Above, Toxicroak's body did the same more bits of glowing pieces fell to the ground before disintegrating into tiling. Confused, Pearl looked around, "What's going on?"

"Part of our project," Saturn appeared in front of Pearl, as a hologram projection, "Just think if I was actually there. You'd be dead. Yet, I spare your life," he shrug, "Lucky you."

Pearl's jaw was on the ground.

"Until then, my brother, Cyrus, has told us to allow you and your friends to train. We want you to be at your best when we defeat you and your accomplices. That way, our power will be unquestionable and undeniable. Nothing will stand in our way. Wasting time with amateur trainers is no longer part of our plan. However, if you do try to get in the way, we'll murder you in your tracks. Believe that. So long. I'll definitely be in attendance at your death."

The hologram disappeared.

With a lump in his throat, Pearl returned his Pokemon, falling to his knees, "That wasn't even Saturn! Ah man. What are we up against? Maybe I should pull a Diamond and just do on with my training career rather than trying to be a hero." He then stood up, "Ah. Nah. I love being a hero. Heroes always take life threatening challenges. If we don't stop Team Galactic, who will, right?"

He looked yonder and noticed his Pokedex laying on the ground. He went over to pick it up and headed out the Warehouse.

-----

Later that evening, Diamond met up with Pearl at southern Veilstone. The two finally exited the largest city in Sinnoh and found themselves en route to the next city.

"Pastoria City." Pearl said, looking at his town map. Diamond was walking way ahead of him, "Hey, Dia! Where ya goin'?"

Diamond didn't bother to look back, "I'm going to Pastoria City! I'm still trying to figure out why you are following me."

"Uh. Because I'm still trying to change your mind about the Team Galactic thing. I mean come on! If this is about Dawn you can just tell me! Even I won't go this far to impress a girl!"

Diamond looked elsewhere, taking off his beret, "Ugh. Pearl. You're so annoying."

"Hah! It's true! It's about Dawn isn't it!"

Ignoring Pearl, Diamond continued to venture in the grass, leaving the blonde boy unable to read his thoughts. Diamond did this often. He was known to be emotionless, not showing whether he was happy, sad or angry. The only time you really could see emotion from Diamond is in an emotional situation like battle.

While Diamond walked, he noticed his foot sinking into the ground, "Ah, don't tell me I stepped into some Pokemon crud!" He lifted his foot up immediately as a brown substance dripped from the soles of his shoe, "Ah, it is crud!"

Pearl, on the other hand, embraced this particular substance, "Ah, quit bein' a baby, Diamond! It's just some mud we've stepped into. My brother told me all about the route to Pastoria. It's a giant mud puddle to the city. He says trainers are seriously tested going here. It separates the men from the boys."

Diamond glared at Pearl without glaring at him, "Ah. You're brother is an idiot."

Pearl scowled and folded his arms as they continued to walk, "Do you know who my brother is?"

Diamond didn't answer, proceeding to walk ahead of Pearl through the marsh.

"AH! Diamond! Wait up!"

As the two boys walked on, two figures watched them from behind. The figure on the left was a tall, fat man dressed in a clown suit. The other, a Pokemon; fat and rodent shaped. It stood on its hind legs.

"Hm," Harold said as he stood beside his Bibarel, "time for some payback, Bibarel."

(Next: Chapter 29: VS. Bibarel!)

Author's Note: The next chapter, VS. Bibarel, could possibly be very short. However, onwards, the chapter will be much longer. This is because the evil organizations aren't playing a big role, even though Harold will be in the next chapter. I'm bringing back the recurring characters though.

Legendary February 14th, 2008 4:59 PM

Ergh, I shoulda commented sooner. It's a good chapter, if a little shortish. Still, pretty nice, and I hope Vs. Bibarel is up soon.


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