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Camisado August 1st, 2009 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Archon (Post 4930458)
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Wow, you're still in school, must be different in Brittan.
Well, my problem is that my friends aren't that nice to me. They make fun of me and mooch off me, but when I need something from them, they hardly give me anything in return. I hate being called fat, especially if the who's calling you fat is a twig. I'm not fat, I just have bad metabolism. Once you get to know me, I am a person. It just seems that no one likes me...

I know this probably isn't the most helpful comment, but those people aren't friends if they're being like that.

I suffered through middle school with friends that were awful to me and I'd recommend you sort your situation out before it all comes rushing back to you in high school and you need counselling ._.;

Aljam August 1st, 2009 1:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camisado (Post 4930476)
I know this probably isn't the most helpful comment, but those people aren't friends if they're being like that.

I suffered through middle school with friends that were awful to me and I'd recommend you sort your situation out before it all comes rushing back to you in high school and you need counselling ._.;

k... btw im going into grade 11 next year XD

Hyper Chibi Absol August 4th, 2009 6:55 AM

Well. OK, here's my problem. I'm stuck at my parents house for another 2 years because my mom won't let me leave the house without going to college and I'm 19.

My original plan was to leave the house after we left to Florida to visit my grandparents. Then after the trip, I'd take a bus and move in with my boyfriend. But I couldn't do that because my mom found out and guilt tripped me into not going and doing that. She says I'm only thinking of myself if I leave. But I told her that I'm old enough to make my own decisions. She just said that I was making a stupid mistake.

So by listening to her, I feel miserable because I won't be able to live with him for two more years... So my question is.... Should I follow my heart and be happy? Or should I listen to my mom and be miserable? I don't really want to go to college. I don't see the point because I'm gonna live off diability. My dreams as a spriter are never gonna come true because I can't leave this damn country. If I do, my boyfriend will never have a way of earning money again because no one'll hire him because he has an illness.

Knowing that... What should I do?

I Laugh at your Misfortune! August 4th, 2009 7:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 4943349)
Should I follow my heart and be happy? Or should I listen to my mom and be miserable?

I think the answer is pretty evident there. You need to get your mum to understand that you need your independance and that you're not a child anymore - chances are she's just feeling over-protective.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 4th, 2009 7:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Screw the rules, I have green hair! (Post 4943450)
I think the answer is pretty evident there. You need to get your mum to understand that you need your independance and that you're not a child anymore - chances are she's just feeling over-protective.

The question is how? She already made me promise that I'd stay here and go to college. I don't know how to tell her I changed my mind.

I Laugh at your Misfortune! August 4th, 2009 7:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 4943456)
The question is how? She already made me promise that I'd stay here and go to college. I don't know how to tell her I changed my mind.

I'd suggest that you bring up the idea of moving out again, but make it very clear that you're asking her permission out of courtesy and that ultimately, it's your decision.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 4th, 2009 8:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Screw the rules, I have green hair! (Post 4943492)
I'd suggest that you bring up the idea of moving out again, but make it very clear that you're asking her permission out of courtesy and that ultimately, it's your decision.


Yeah... I just don't know how I can tell her though. It's the same fear I had when I didn't want her finding out in the first place because I think she'd yell at me and never let me talk to my boyfriend again. She and dad yell alot whenever my siblings and I (very rarely) do anything wrong.

I guess it's safe to say that I'm somewhat scared of my parents. Possibly why this is, is because of the way I was punished as a child.

I feel like I'm chained to this house. I know the only way to break those chains is to leave, but I don't know if I can...

processr August 5th, 2009 8:53 AM

I think you're being very selfish, to be frank. You intend to live off disability payments when you effectively elope, correct? If you've any sort of a conscience you'll go to college and get some skills that'll get you a decent job so you're not living off taxpayers' money. :I

Camisado August 5th, 2009 8:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Archon (Post 4930545)
k... btw im going into grade 11 next year XD

Why does that make a difference? >>;;

I have to say you were quite flippant after I poured the experience out to you hoping I could help ._.;

Hyper Chibi Absol, how can you justify living on disability? I fume when people live off benefits when they could work - I am assuming you're perfectly capable of it, from your story. I'm a full-time working taxpayer and lose over 10% of my wages every month to the tax man. =/

I don't think you're being very realistic with your plans in life, either. If you two break up, where does that leave you? You have to think about these things. And your mother is only trying to persuade you to go to college because she cares about your future, even if you think she's being unreasonable at times.

(sorry for all the edits)

Hyper Chibi Absol August 5th, 2009 9:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Get Innocuous! (Post 4947910)
I think you're being very selfish, to be frank. You intend to live off disability payments when you effectively elope, correct? If you've any sort of a conscience you'll go to college and get some skills that'll get you a decent job so you're not living off taxpayers' money. :I

Being selfish or being smart? I know for a fact that the jobs I could ever possibly have aren't going to be an option because I can't leave the country. My boyfriend is dying and the only way he earns money is by disability money. He can't leave the country otherwise he'll lose that money. I'm not gonna do that just to become a spriter. THAT would be selfish. I love him.

I'm just stuck in a rut because I know everyday, he's closer to dying, but I have no idea when... It's scary because I think that, what if he isn't as healthy as I thought he was and gets worse to the point when he's on his death bed and I'm stuck in another state. I'd lose it if that happened....

processr August 5th, 2009 9:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 4948015)
Being selfish or being smart? I know for a fact that the jobs I could ever possibly have aren't going to be an option because I can't leave the country. My boyfriend is dying and the only way he earns money is by disability money. He can't leave the country otherwise he'll lose that money. I'm not gonna do that just to become a sprite. THAT would be selfish. I love him.

Why do you think your mother wants you to go to college? So you can get some skills and not become a NEET who mooches off of the government. You need to stop having a one-track mind and open yourself up to other careers.

Quote:

I'm just stuck in a rut because I know everyday, he's closer to dying, but I have no idea when... It's scary because I think that, what if he isn't as healthy as I thought he was and gets worse to the point when he's on his death bed and I'm stuck in another state. I'd lose it if that happened....
And what happens if he dies and you have no source of income?

Hyper Chibi Absol August 5th, 2009 9:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Get Innocuous! (Post 4948038)
Why do you think your mother wants you to go to college? So you can get some skills and not become a NEET who mooches off of the government. You need to stop having a one-track mind and open yourself up to other careers.

What other careers? All I'm good at is drawing and writing in a way. Not to brag, but think I've pretty much mastered drawing on MS Paint because I''ve been practicing ever since I was 11. (8 years) That's why, my orginal idea was to become a spriter but that requires moving to Japan... Which I can't do.



Quote:

And what happens if he dies and you have no source of income?
That's where the disability comes in...

Cherrim August 5th, 2009 9:37 AM

1. Being a spriter will not require you to move to Japan. Did you know that there are some video games made OUTSIDE of Japan? To be honest, the industry is booming moreso in the US than it is over there, so... you know... I think you're already in the right place.

2. If you don't go to college/university and get a degree in art, you'll never be hired as a game artist unless you have one hell of a portfolio which... you probably don't if you aren't heading onto post-secondary education for art. Just working in MS Paint on your own for 8 years isn't enough. Even if you're only working in something specific like spriting, you'll likely be required to have a very wide background in art to get hired by a game developer as a spriter.

That said, your mom likely doesn't think you're responsible enough to move out on your own and considering you don't even seem to have made much research on your career choice, I'm inclined to agree with her. But if you're adamant...

Do your research. Figure out exactly where you're going, what you're doing when you get there, and what your long term and short term goals are. Look into the cost of living in the area, figure out what income you and your bf will have if you live together, and figure out how you're going to obtain the funds for that. (Living off disability, if you don't need to, is horrible btw--get a job if you can, seriously. :|) If possible, sit down with your family AND your boyfriend and discuss options, what's going to happen, and what your plan is.

Your mom is probably just worried about you and doesn't want you to run off and get in over your head. Leaving home is a BIG DEAL and if you aren't ready for it and don't take it seriously, you can rack up some serious debt. But if you learn the facts and go out of your way to make sure everything will go smoothly--and communicate all of this to your mom, she'll probably be more comfortable with it. You are old enough to make these decisions for yourself but it doesn't really sound like you're mature enough and that's the big thing here.

Personal question, I know, but what are *you* collecting disability for? Why can you not go get a job now but if your boyfriend weren't an issue, it'd be okay to pack up and leave for Japan to do spriting? :/ That sounds a hell of a lot more stressful and debilitating than, say, working retail for a bit.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 5th, 2009 9:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightning (Post 4948085)
1. Being a spriter will not require you to move to Japan. Did you know that there are some video games made OUTSIDE of Japan? To be honest, the industry is booming moreso in the US than it is over there, so... you know... I think you're already in the right place.



Name off a list of good companies then, please.

Quote:

2. If you don't go to college/university and get a degree in art, you'll never be hired as a game artist unless you have one hell of a portfolio which... you probably don't if you aren't heading onto post-secondary education for art. Just working in MS Paint on your own for 8 years isn't enough. Even if you're only working in something specific like spriting, you'll likely be required to have a very wide background in art to get hired by a game developer as a spriter.


Which is another reason why it was only a dream job because as far as other forms of art goes, I'm only good at sketching and using colored pencils. I suck at painting (I have shaky hands), and I never used Photoshop before.

Quote:

That said, your mom likely doesn't think you're responsible enough to move out on your own and considering you don't even seem to have made much research on your career choice, I'm inclined to agree with her. But if you're adamant...


She doesn't want me to move out because she knows that I planned on living off disability money. If I had other talents, lets say, fixing up cars and I liked to do that, I would get a job for that but I don't. All I am is an artist from a very small town.

Quote:

Do your research. Figure out exactly where you're going, what you're doing when you get there, and what your long term and short term goals are. Look into the cost of living in the area, figure out what income you and your bf will have if you live together, and figure out how you're going to obtain the funds for that. (Living off disability, if you don't need to, is horrible btw--get a job if you can, seriously. :|) If possible, sit down with your family AND your boyfriend and discuss options, what's going to happen, and what your plan is.


I have done research. It was required to graduate from HighSchool. The orginal plan was to live at his mom's house. He gets $1000 a month.

Heh. Sitting down with all of them? There's a problem seeing as my boyfriend lives in a different state than me.

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Your mom is probably just worried about you and doesn't want you to run off and get in over your head. Leaving home is a BIG DEAL and if you aren't ready for it and don't take it seriously, you can rack up some serious debt. But if you learn the facts and go out of your way to make sure everything will go smoothly--and communicate all of this to your mom, she'll probably be more comfortable with it. You are old enough to make these decisions for yourself but it doesn't really sound like you're mature enough and that's the big thing here.


I am ready. I'm sick of being treated as a child. And to be honest, my boyfriend is too. He told me, he hates the way I'm treated unfairly in my house.

Communication is very hard for me knowing MY illness.

Quote:

Personal question, I know, but what are *you* collecting disability for? Why can you not go get a job now but if your boyfriend weren't an issue, it'd be okay to pack up and leave for Japan to do spriting? :/ That sounds a hell of a lot more stressful and debilitating than, say, working retail for a bit.
Mom wanted me put on it so I could pay her rent while I went to a college I never wanted to go to in the first place.

My disabilities are Asperger Syndrome, ADHD, and an Anxiety Disorder.

He can't leave the US. But before I met him, I planned on going to college for however long I needed to and then move to Japan.

Bianca Paragon August 5th, 2009 10:13 AM

Having both ADD and GAD as well as a raft of other mental illnesses (BPD, GID, etc) I'm going to put this too you very bluntly; because I feel like you need to hear it ~ and having a general understanding of much of what goes on as a result of these ailments means you really need to take it on board. If you live off disability, and don't work, you will become isolated. And what happens when you become a shut-in? You will sink into depression. And it won't be just any bad day depression; it's going to be the most debilitating, soul destroying, reality altering, sinkhole of HELL that you can imagine. Multiplied by 10. I mean this more seriously than you can possibly get your head around. You will want to *die* because the thoughts that run rampant inside your head will tell you that you've reached rock bottom; that you'll never be anything; anyone - you'll cut off contact with any friends you do have and you'll get more and more alone and more and more depressed. The spiral will continue downward until you can't possibly imagine it getting any worse ~ and then it WILL because you'll self-sabotage. Why? This depression is all you will know; it's all you'll be able to relate to and you'll need more and more.

What you have are social, behavioral, adjustment disorders. You don't fix those by going on disability and hiding from the world; by eating up the tax money that COULD be going into fixing medical and living conditions for people who need it. No. You can't fix what's wrong with you; just like I can't fix what's wrong with me. But you can model your life around lifestyle pattern changes that will make you a better adjusted person; a socially fit and healthy state of mind that will make you cherish waking up in the morning and that will mean each day you seek out things that make you feel GOOD instead of feeding the depression. At best; right now? You're an introvert. You get self satisfaction and "power" from yourself; from being alone. You've already said that; you love writing and art and spriting; these are the sorts of activites that introverts cherish because you get to spend time on your own. But while a healthy human mind can flourish under introvert regime; yours is *not* healthy. Just like mine is *not* healthy. Just like anybody with any of the raft of behavior or adjustment disorders minds are *not* healthy. Take take the path of least resistance and it will lead you places darker and more terrible than you can possibly fathom.

To make it work; to grab life by the balls and make it yours? You *NEED* (yes, NEED) to become an extrovert. You need to realign yourself so that the presence of others will empower you; will make you feel good about yourself. You need to immerse yourself in a social career; like retail or sales or customer support ~ the more you're around people in person? The Better! Is McDonalds a glamorous job? No. Is it a future? Not in and of itself; but it can lead you into proper retail; sales; imbue you with the techniques and philosophy to rediscover the extrovert inside yourself. It doesn't devalue you as a human being to work with people. It doesn't make you a failure to seek a career in sales, consulting; anything with people around you every day. Will you be a billionaire? Probably not. Will you lead a healthy; fulfilling life? Well that's up to you.

Go to College. Get a job. Redesign yourself, and discover who you really can be. Because you deserve it.

Cherrim August 5th, 2009 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 4948161)
Name off a list of good companies then, please.

...really? Ubisoft, EA Games, Bethesda, 2K, Activision Blizzard, Harmonix, Bioware, THQ, Lionhead, and you know what, here. Look how many are *not* in Japan. With the current popularity of the iPhone and similar low-capability systems on the rise, I imagine plenty of companies are looking into simpler graphics like sprites in some of their games. How can you be thinking of going into an industry without even researching it??
Quote:

Which is another reason why it was only a dream job because as far as other forms of art goes, I'm only good at sketching and using colored pencils. I suck at painting (I have shaky hands), and I never used Photoshop before.
And that's where education comes in! Even if you just head to a community college and do part-time education, you can still get a degree and LEARN these skills, as well as meet some people who might have connections for you.

edit: this is even something you could tell your mother, btw. Find out what community colleges are in the area of your bf and see what their art department requirements are. If she knows you're not just moving to bum around and do nothing, but you also have plans for when you get there, she's going to be more supportive.

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She doesn't want me to move out because she knows that I planned on living off disability money. If I had other talents, lets say, fixing up cars and I liked to do that, I would get a job for that but I don't. All I am is an artist from a very small town.
Then she has a very good point. :| But you know what? Sometimes you're stuck doing jobs that aren't that fun. I don't have a super talent for paperwork but yet here I am, doing paperwork day in and day out because it's something I can get paid for. Remember not every job you have has to be your career. Just apply for different things, learn some new skill sets, and go from there.

Remember... a dream job doesn't have to be unobtainable, but it's also not the first or only job you can do. Most people have to work hard to get to their preferred job and career... and unless you're an underachiever and working at McDonald's is your number one choice, you're always gonna have to just suck up and deal with a crappy job at first while you build a network of contacts and work experience.

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I have done research. It was required to graduate from HighSchool. The orginal plan was to live at his mom's house. He gets $1000 a month.
Moving out of your parents house to go mooch off his parents. =_= I can kind of see why your mom doesn't really want you to move out. I'm not so sure you've done all the research though. You're 100% sure his family is okay with you staying there? Without a job? If you are required to get a job and pay rent while you live there, what would you do then?

I'm not trying to be so negative here but it really just sounds like you were talking to your bf over msn one night and decided "hey i wanna move in with you" "k :D". Like... how are you gonna get there, what are you gonna bring, what are you doing when you get there, etc. Is he the ONLY reason you wanna move out? If it's more trying to get away from home, have some patience and try talking to your mom about moving out into an apartment or sublet within the area and see how you manage on your own close to home before moving out of state borders.

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Heh. Sitting down with all of them? There's a problem seeing as my boyfriend lives in a different state than me.
All the more reason you need to try to get everyone talking! Get his family and yours together around speaker phones or webcam or just... something. Of course she's going to be really wary if you're trying to move out-of-state to live with someone she barely knows. D: (This is, of course, assuming she hasn't met him before?) Hell, I don't even know you and I'm a little worried.

Listen, it REALLY sounds like you don't know what you're doing. :/

Hyper Chibi Absol August 5th, 2009 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apple.SHAMPOO (Post 4948238)
To make it work; to grab life by the balls and make it yours? You *NEED* (yes, NEED) to become an extrovert. You need to realign yourself so that the presence of others will empower you; will make you feel good about yourself. You need to immerse yourself in a social career; like retail or sales or customer support ~ the more you're around people in person? The Better! Is McDonalds a glamorous job? No. Is it a future? Not in and of itself; but it can lead you into proper retail; sales; imbue you with the techniques and philosophy to rediscover the extrovert inside yourself. It doesn't devalue you as a human being to work with people. It doesn't make you a failure to seek a career in sales, consulting; anything with people around you every day. Will you be a billionaire? Probably not. Will you lead a healthy; fulfilling life? Well that's up to you.

Go to College. Get a job. Redesign yourself, and discover who you really can be. Because you deserve it.


Becoming extrovert is the reason I have to move out. Staying here will just continue to make me anti-social. I don't have many friends, I rarely leave the house because I don't have any reason to, my friends NEVER visit me. I can't stand this house because it's noisy (I can't stand loud noises), I'm treated like ****, My younger siblings always take my things without my permission (namely my laptop). I hate it here. Not only does the things in this house annoy me, but it also keeps me away from the person I love. I can't hug him or kiss him because he's miles away...

Quote:

edit: this is even something you could tell your mother, btw. Find out what community colleges are in the area of your bf and see what their art department requirements are. If she knows you're not just moving to bum around and do nothing, but you also have plans for when you get there, she's going to be more supportive.


No. She isn't. I told her that Illinois isn't the only state that has colleges and she still didn't agree on me going. She knows I'm adult. She KNOWS I can go to other colleges. She just chooses to keep me here as her 'little girl' forever...

Quote:

Moving out of your parents house to go mooch off his parents. =_= I can kind of see why your mom doesn't really want you to move out. I'm not so sure you've done all the research though. You're 100% sure his family is okay with you staying there? Without a job? If you are required to get a job and pay rent while you live there, what would you do then?

I'm not trying to be so negative here but it really just sounds like you were talking to your bf over msn one night and decided "hey i wanna move in with you" "k :D". Like... how are you gonna get there, what are you gonna bring, what are you doing when you get there, etc. Is he the ONLY reason you wanna move out? If it's more trying to get away from home, have some patience and try talking to your mom about moving out into an apartment or sublet within the area and see how you manage on your own close to home before moving out of state borders.



I'm not mooching off of them. If my parents would actually let me do something for once, his family would welcome me with open arms. They WANT to meet me. His mom, his half-brother. Ehh... His step-dad is indifferent...

James told me, he'd pay the rent for the both of us. The only thing I'll have to pay for is food. The rest of the money is for anything in the future (say kids maybe. Yes, we have been talking about kids).

No. We've been dating for quite a while now. Since March. He suggested that I move out because the very first plan I had to actually be able to spend time with him was thworted because of a stupid scalloping trip... I asked my mom if I could stay at my grandma's house alone with him, but she said 'no'. And I'm an adult here. She shouldn't be bossing me around anymore but she is.... The way she believes in raising children is the 'My way or the High-way'. To be honest, I'd rather be kicked-out rather than staying here, chained to the wall. In a way, I'm being held hostage now that I think about it. I can LEGALLY move out, but my parents just won't let me.



wakachamo August 5th, 2009 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 4943349)
My dreams as a spriter are never gonna come true because I can't leave this damn country.

I honestly don't see why you're all bothering helping this person out when the problem here has clearly got to do with something that only she can do for herself, and the quote above is precisely that.

You have no hope. Therefore you think you can't make dreams come true. Therefore you're just going to life like a depressed parasite for the rest of your life. Therefore you're going to die and rot a worthless human being.

And you think that's going to make you happy.

It's not, and you know it's not. Shut the hell up, stop asking these kind of retarded questions on a Pokémon forum, and think about how you're going to make your own future. If you don't like the place you're in right now, get a job, and fight for whatever the hell you need to get you out of whatever you want to get out, because I doubt your "boyfriend"'s parents are going to let some random selfish hobo leech off someone else's resources.

Or are you just going to be one of those people who think that they will be able to use their "disabilities" as a shield to society? Are you going to be one of those people, and expect everything to fall from the sky just because you can?

Wake up. Get up. It's your choice.

Cherrim August 5th, 2009 11:06 AM

Well, start out slow.

If you've known him for a while and his family is receptive--just start out asking your mom if you could go spend a week or so out there with his family. See if his parents will talk to your mom and make sure you open as many modes of communication as you can. She'll be more comfortable if she knows who you'd be staying with. This is also a great safeguard in case it turns out that you two aren't as compatible irl as you thought--long distance relationships can work but sometimes they just work better long distance and when you're in close quarters for extended periods, it turns out you argue or have habits that just aggravate the other to no end, etc.

Alternatively, see if he'd be able to come down there (or do both, spend some time there, he comes to you, etc.). I know you're eager to just get out of your house and start spending the rest of your life with this guy but there's really no rush. Take it slow so it's less of a shock for everyone and just... you know, take baby steps.

Make a list of possible options that all LEAD toward you getting out of the house and (if you prefer) moving in with him, but try a bunch of different things. Like maybe do a year of school at home and then start looking into transfering to a school closer to your bf, or move out and work for a bit to save up for college out of state... just make sure you have a lot of different options (all eventually leading to the same thing) that you can sit down and discuss with your mom. Show her that you're responsible enough to take charge of your life and make your own decisions but ALSO make sure you let her know that her opinion is important and you want her to support whatever choices you make.

I'm sure she really is just trying to do what's best for you. If you take charge and show her that you can be responsible and mature about all this, then eventually she'll come around, I'm sure.

Bianca Paragon August 5th, 2009 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 4948377)
Becoming extrovert is the reason I have to move out. Staying here will just continue to make me anti-social.

But honey, you're just going to move out and become anti-social somewhere else; you don't better yourself by changing your surroundings; you change your surroundings by the way you change yourself. Yes, I did totally disregard *everything else* you had to say; because it all roots back to this one problem that's poisoning your life at the moment: You. Yes, I said it. You are the problem. But don't get me wrong; don't take what I have to say as an attack! Instead; see it as a prompt to examine yourself; and to realize what needs to change inside you; rather than what needs to change with where you live. What's to stop you getting out of the house right now (tomorrow? I dunno what time it is there) and tarting yourself up a little so you can do a resume drop? Honestly. If you can think of any single thing that will prevent you from doing this then you're just making excuses to and for yourself. At the moment you seem to have this flow-chart in your head along the lines of:

[Move Out of Home]

[Live with Boyfriend]

[Get on Disability]

[Improvement to Situation]

Now, to me this seems like a flawed course of action. Why do you say that, Sarah; you ask? Because there are no steps for positive personal improvement! There's nothing. It's like the underpants gnomes and their "????. PROFIT". You have nothing there to incite change; you're hinging that moving away from the only people at the moment who keep you from crawling entirely into your own shell will be a positive move. It won't be; it won't help you at all. It'll make matters *worse* because when your beau does pass away his family won't be able to support you and you'll be out on your own; and you'll sink so much further into being the introvert that poisons you from inside. I'm not saying you shouldn't follow your dreams ~ and far be it for me to tell you that you should consider your feelings for this boy; I *know* what love feels like and I know what you're going through. But how can you give yourself totally and entirely to another human being; when you can't even fix yourself? Would you give the person you love a knowingly defective Christmas Gift? You can't be this way, petal. You need to consider something like..

[Find a Job]

[Go to College]

[Build Social networks]

[Visit your boyfriend; for a *holiday*]

[Showcase your art; your sprites; your writing]
[ to your social networks; build yourself up ]

[Move Out of Home]

[Pursue Dreams]


You'll notice there's no single "improvement to situation" step in the chart this time; because change isn't a one shot answer. There's no easy way out; there's no short cut home. You need to build on the relationships you have with your family, with your friends; with your boyfriend ~ but you need to forge new ones as well! You can't stagnate like a pond; you need to flow like a river and always be in search of new opportunities and pathways. You need a job. You need to go to College; if not for the degree than for the social development it encourages. You need to go to parties with your peers; and get wasted on the town and do things for attention - these are all extrovert qualities and things you need to build upon as a foundation for your life.

It's only what you make it.


Akio123 August 5th, 2009 11:35 AM

Hey guys I have a little problem:
I recently transferred to a new school in DC. I am going to be doing pre med there. Now I am completely fine with that, but I first applied for this intense 7-year program in which after I would get my MD. My aunt doesn't know I didn't get into the 7 year program and she has been telling everyone. I don't know how to tell her I am not in it.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 5th, 2009 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apple.SHAMPOO (Post 4948442)
But honey, you're just going to move out and become anti-social somewhere else; you don't better yourself by changing your surroundings; you change your surroundings by the way you change yourself. Yes, I did totally disregard *everything else* you had to say; because it all roots back to this one problem that's poisoning your life at the moment: You. Yes, I said it. You are the problem. But don't get me wrong; don't take what I have to say as an attack! Instead; see it as a prompt to examine yourself; and to realize what needs to change inside you; rather than what needs to change with where you live. What's to stop you getting out of the house right now (tomorrow? I dunno what time it is there) and tarting yourself up a little so you can do a resume drop?

My parents house is my box. In other words. my shell. I HAVE to break out of it. The thing I have to change is the way people think of me. At first glance people would think of me as an unattractive (people outside my family have told me this) teenager. I don't look my age. I'm short. 5'3". Problem is, I change what others think.

What stops me is the fact that I don't really have a reason to go outside. I'm not exactly a fan of the sun unless we go swimming because I burn VERY easily. I'm not going outside just to get burned. The only time I usually go outside is for taking out the trash, going with a walk with my little sister and her friends (very VERY rarely do they ask me. Since I'm like... 4 years older than all of them, I feel out of place), or for vacation.

Quote:

There's nothing. It's like the underpants gnomes and their "????. PROFIT".
................... What??? o____O;

Quote:

You have nothing there to incite change; you're hinging that moving away from the only people at the moment who keep you from crawling entirely into your own shell will be a positive move. It won't be; it won't help you at all. It'll make matters *worse* because when your beau does pass away his family won't be able to support you and you'll be out on your own; and you'll sink so much further into being the introvert that poisons you from inside. I'm not saying you shouldn't follow your dreams ~ and far be it for me to tell you that you should consider your feelings for this boy; I *know* what love feels like and I know what you're going through. But how can you give yourself totally and entirely to another human being; when you can't even fix yourself? Would you give the person you love a knowingly defective Christmas Gift? You can't be this way, petal. You need to consider something like..
Do you know what love really feels like when you felt like you were ugly your whole life-when people outside your family told you so to your face and then you meet someone who thinks you are beautiful? James is my very first boyfriend ever. I NEVER thought I'd be with anyone until he came along. He loves me for who I am. He calls me his princess and angel. I love him so much because he made me felt like I was actually wanted in the world. He's the kindest man I've ever met in my life and he loves me for me. FFor someone like him to make me so happy for beginning to break my shell from my anti-socialism, I'd do anything for him.






Quote:

You'll notice there's no single "improvement to situation" step in the chart this time; because change isn't a one shot answer. There's no easy way out; there's no short cut home. You need to build on the relationships you have with your family, with your friends; with your boyfriend ~ but you need to forge new ones as well! You can't stagnate like a pond; you need to flow like a river and always be in search of new opportunities and pathways. You need a job. You need to go to College; if not for the degree than for the social development it encourages. You need to go to parties with your peers; and get wasted on the town and do things for attention - these are all extrovert qualities and things you need to build upon as a foundation for your life.
It's only what you make it.




If I go to college, it'll just be the same as school before. People judge me for what I look like, not for who I am, therefore think I'm a random freak going to the school. I had to go through being bullied from when I started school till highschool. I had to have a social worker during grade school because I kept myself from others because no one liked me. For years, I edured it and never really told anyone what I went through, not even my social worker, until I became a wall to those comments. But I just expect it being worse in college. Especially the being wasted part because I can be taken advantage of when drunk. (Even though I'll never even THINK of touching alcohol.)

Cherrim August 5th, 2009 11:54 AM

pro-tip: college is nothing like high school. By the time they get there, people stop caring about pointless things like popularity and bullying is much lessened, seriously. You can just go join a few clubs based on what you like (gaming, anime, etc.) and make friends with like interests.

._. If you start out assuming everything will be crap from the get-go (ie, "I won't go outside because I'll only get sunburnt" or "if I go to college it'll be as crappy as high school") then of COURSE it will be because you'll go in expecting it to be.

Bianca Paragon August 5th, 2009 12:03 PM

Let's address this with some comparison for you; and I know it'll sound self centred but I think you need to know a little background about *me* so you can fully appreciate how much I empathize with your situation. You say you're short, you look a different age, and you think you're unattractive? You're only unattractive because you lack confidence; confidence and the way you carry yourself is the *single* most attractive thing about a person! Me? I'm 5'1; a little chubby (tho I used to be a lot chubby) and I was *born as a boy*. Yes, that's right. If you want to compare feeling ugly, feeling out of place; how about you consider how it feels to go through your teenage years feeling like you're the wrong GENDER. I know what it's like to feel ugly; I understand how it feels to have no confidence and to just let yourself go (why bother, right?) and to have no self esteem. I don't want to make this a whizzing contest but I need you to understand I know how you feel! And yes. Yes I do know what love feels like when you can't even love yourself. I know it better than you'd dare imagine. But love is hollow and meaningless if you can't love yourself, first! You're using his affection to fill a hole inside you; when the love he lavishes on you should be something you *cherish*, not something you *need*. Codependency sounds so workable and beautiful on the surface; but it's not! When you need someone's love to live, you begin to resent them when they can't deliver everything you need at all times.

But I digress.

You don't need to "go outside" to meet people; plenty of work (in fact, most sales work) is indoors in the glowing warmth of fluorescent lightbulbs. Go and do a resume drop first thing in the morning; UV rays are worse between 11am and 1pm ~ so hit the stores and businesses early and you can be home in time for lunch. You talk about wanting to change the way people see you and that's wonderful; the desire is there within you ~ but your ideas on the methods are all askew. You need to build yourself up inside, before you can enact change on the world around you. Don't you understand? You can't make people see you differently until you see yourself differently. And on differently; College is so different to High School! In High School people resent each other and the environment of the campus because they *have* to be there. In College, people *want* to be there and they want to be there to not only take upon a degree but also to build the final stages of their social development. You need this; because right now you're letting your social muscles atrophy and one day it's going to be too late~

I can't help you anymore than what I've already said and I know it feels daunting to change; but it happens a little at a time and it only does so if you want it~
But if I can do it? So can you.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 5th, 2009 12:36 PM

Quote:

But love is hollow and meaningless if you can't love yourself, first! You're using his affection to fill a hole inside you; when the love he lavishes on you should be something you *cherish*, not something you *need*. Codependency sounds so workable and beautiful on the surface; but it's not! When you need someone's love to live, you begin to resent them when they can't deliver everything you need at all times.
I'll never resent James. He's done so much for me even though he's been through so much more crap than me. He still gave love more more chance to be with me. He never gave up on life even though the worst has happened to him. The irony of it all. It's more my love keeping him alive.

Quote:

Go and do a resume drop first thing in the morning; UV rays are worse between 11am and 1pm ~ so hit the stores and businesses early and you can be home in time for lunch.
Uh... Issue there. I'm leaving to Florida to visit my grandparents on Friday (Wednesday 3:39 PM right now). Plus, me getting a job now defeats the purpose of the disability. I already signed up for it (mom made me). And she expects me to use that money to pay her while I go to school.
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You need to build yourself up inside, before you can enact change on the world around you. Don't you understand? You can't make people see you differently until you see yourself differently.
Then explain how I felt when I was younger. I was happy and full of life as a child. People should see me as a happy-go lucky person then. But they didn't. They saw me as a loser. THAT's why I am what I am today.
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In College, people *want* to be there and they want to be there to not only take upon a degree but also to build the final stages of their social development. You need this; because right now you're letting your social muscles atrophy and one day it's going to be too late~
Not in my case. I don't want to go. The only reason why I am is because I don't want mom yelling at me (I hate yelling) and I'm going to the cheapest one. I'm being forced into going to college.

Camisado August 5th, 2009 12:49 PM

I'm completely appalled that you ignored the entire first half of apple.SHAMPOO's post =(

You're asking for help and yet rebuffing everything you don't want to hear.

processr August 5th, 2009 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camisado (Post 4948768)
You're asking for help and yet rebuffing everything you don't want to hear.

If this is your attitude then I can quite readily see why your mother wants you to stay. You're clearly not ready to leave home, especially to live with someone you and your immediate family are yet to meet.

Vigilante August 5th, 2009 12:53 PM

Quote:

Not in my case. I don't want to go. The only reason why I am is because I don't want mom yelling at me (I hate yelling) and I'm going to the cheapest one. I'm being forced into going to college.
Wait? You are going because she is yelling at you? If I yelled and told you to jump off a bridge would you do it? If you don't want to go, then don't. Especially not because she is yelling at you.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 5th, 2009 1:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meneur d'enfer (Post 4948788)
Wait? You are going because she is yelling at you? If I yelled and told you to jump off a bridge would you do it? If you don't want to go, then don't. Especially not because she is yelling at you.

That's the thing... She'll force me to still go. She has some form of control over me... I can't explain it... I'm not assertive in the least. I never can really do what I want. My little sister knows this too. She's been put on meds and talks to a doctor every month whom says that we have bad parents. My little sister agrees with me going because she knows it's the only way to 'break my chains' If I could leave now, I would do it in a heart beat, but I can't...

22sa August 5th, 2009 6:50 PM

I want help.

I don't want help.

Am I eloquent or what?

Edit:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 4948161)

[FONT=tahoma]

My disabilities are Asperger Syndrome, ADHD, and an Anxiety Disorder.

He can't leave the US. But before I met him, I planned on going to college for however long I needed to and then move to Japan.

Hey I have two questions:

1. What do those disabilities stop you from doing/achieving?

2. What does your boyfriend think about your goal of working as a Spiriter in Japan? & Is his desires compatible with your goal?

Mika August 5th, 2009 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 4948804)
That's the thing... She'll force me to still go. She has some form of control over me... I can't explain it... I'm not assertive in the least. I never can really do what I want. My little sister knows this too. She's been put on meds and talks to a doctor every month whom says that we have bad parents. My little sister agrees with me going because she knows it's the only way to 'break my chains' If I could leave now, I would do it in a heart beat, but I can't...

First off, let me explain something about disability

It really doesn't pay for everything you think it's going to pay for. It might pay for your rent, but are you 100% positive that you're going to be able to buy food? Pay utilities? What about entertainment costs? What about clothing? As someone who also gets disability money, I can tell you that it really doesn't go very far in the grand scheme of things and I have friends that live on, quite literally, to the dime and they have next to absolutely nothing >> You sure you're going to be able to shop at food stores like Aldis or other off brand stores and wonder if you're going to have enough cash for next week's meal? It's not nearly as simple as you think it is and if you start adding in other fees ontop of that, I guarantee you that you'll see just how not-far it's going. On top of that, I understand you have these particular disabilities but are you sure you're even going to GET disability money? Aspies, yes, I can see some potential money from that if it's severe enough but Anxiety and ADHD are almost never severe enough to qualify. Just how much do you think you're getting anyways?

Second, you think you're the only person that hates college? I hate to be rude or blunt but I honestly loath college [at least the one I'm currently attending] with absolutely every fiber of my body. Why? I don't feel accepted there and I don't feel like I belong. Do I still attend that school? Absolutely. Do I hate a good portion of it? Absolutely. Have I quit? Absolutely not. There are things in life that we have to do regardless of whether or not we really want to do them. We cannot expect the world to spin for us, we must spin the world to obtain what we wish to obtain. It's going to suck, it's going to be miserable and you're going to have to work hard. You do realize if you go to college, you can live on campus right? This gets you out of the house and yet you're still appeasing your mother. Find a college you like. It sounds retarded but if you go do some college visits, you can find a college you can put up with. Go check out the federally mandated Students with Disabilities area. The one at my university is the only thing really keeping me going, the people are amazing and they make sure that I have all my accommodations. You can, with a disability, sometimes qualify for Voc Rehab which will help you find a job like on campus and help you find work after you graduate [because you're protected under the laws that make it so you have to be given and will give you ways to get a job you're comfortable with that doesn't aggravate your disorders. :3

Instead of freaking out and switching over to disability monthly stipends, why don't you try looking at this flipside of your disability needs? There's alllll sorts of stuff out there to get you a job you're comfortable with or at least one you can tolerate. D: Please don't just give up and give into this disability stipend; it really isn't as much money as you think it is.

[I know the spelling errors in this are atrocious is because it's 2:30am. XD; sorry]

Hyper Chibi Absol August 6th, 2009 7:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mika (Post 4950971)
First off, let me explain something about disability

It really doesn't pay for everything you think it's going to pay for. It might pay for your rent, but are you 100% positive that you're going to be able to buy food? Pay utilities? What about entertainment costs? What about clothing? As someone who also gets disability money, I can tell you that it really doesn't go very far in the grand scheme of things and I have friends that live on, quite literally, to the dime and they have next to absolutely nothing >> You sure you're going to be able to shop at food stores like Aldis or other off brand stores and wonder if you're going to have enough cash for next week's meal? It's not nearly as simple as you think it is and if you start adding in other fees ontop of that, I guarantee you that you'll see just how not-far it's going. On top of that, I understand you have these particular disabilities but are you sure you're even going to GET disability money? Aspies, yes, I can see some potential money from that if it's severe enough but Anxiety and ADHD are almost never severe enough to qualify. Just how much do you think you're getting anyways?

James was able to live on his own for a while with only $1000. Since he's paying for my rent when we're both going to move in together at his mom's house, I think I'll be able to support myself.

I already applied for it. In real life, I can barely talk because it almost scares me to. I don't like being in crouds (a small group of people of people I know very well is fine but I still won't say much)

Quote:

Second, you think you're the only person that hates college? I hate to be rude or blunt but I honestly loath college [at least the one I'm currently attending] with absolutely every fiber of my body. Why? I don't feel accepted there and I don't feel like I belong. Do I still attend that school? Absolutely. Do I hate a good portion of it? Absolutely. Have I quit? Absolutely not. There are things in life that we have to do regardless of whether or not we really want to do them. We cannot expect the world to spin for us, we must spin the world to obtain what we wish to obtain. It's going to suck, it's going to be miserable and you're going to have to work hard. You do realize if you go to college, you can live on campus right? This gets you out of the house and yet you're still appeasing your mother.
I can't. She won't let me live on campus...

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Find a college you like. It sounds retarded but if you go do some college visits, you can find a college you can put up with. Go check out the federally mandated Students with Disabilities area. The one at my university is the only thing really keeping me going, the people are amazing and they make sure that I have all my accommodations. You can, with a disability, sometimes qualify for Voc Rehab which will help you find a job like on campus and help you find work after you graduate [because you're protected under the laws that make it so you have to be given and will give you ways to get a job you're comfortable with that doesn't aggravate your disorders. :3
Well finding a different college is out of the question because I'm already signed up for it...

Quote:

Instead of freaking out and switching over to disability monthly stipends, why don't you try looking at this flipside of your disability needs? There's alllll sorts of stuff out there to get you a job you're comfortable with or at least one you can tolerate. D: Please don't just give up and give into this disability stipend; it really isn't as much money as you think it is.

[I know the spelling errors in this are atrocious is because it's 2:30am. XD; sorry]
I'm being put on disability because my mom wants me to pay her rent while I go to a college I don't want to go to. I won't get ANY of that money if I stay until I get out of college and by then, she'll make me get rid of that money to get a job. She's controling my life like it's her own. But it's not.

Quote:

1. What do those disabilities stop you from doing/achieving?
Asperger Syndrome makes it increadably difficult to communicate with others that it scares me to talk.

ADHD doesn't really effect me as much as it did as a child other than the fact that I have a hard time focusing on things.

The Anxiety Disorder just causes me to become increadably cautious. Whenever something goes wrong, I get very scared. In the case when I feel that I've done something wrong, I give myself self-punishment (no, not cutting). I'm trying to change this thing about me for James because I had to tell him about it and he said if I don't change that, we can't be together... I understand that. It's just sometimes when I feel like I've done something wrong, I HAVE to be punished...

Quote:

2. What does your boyfriend think about your goal of working as a Spiriter in Japan? & Is his desires compatible with your goal?
He gets very upset when he thinks about this subject because he says that he's the reason I'm not accomplishing my dreams, but I love him too much to leave his for something so selfish to accomplish my dreams while dystroying another's.

He and I just want to live together, so yes.

Cherrim August 6th, 2009 7:55 AM

Then throw a tantrum and refuse to go to class until you get what you want. :D If the money comes in cheques, call up the bank and make sure you have an account with them that your mom can't access and keep the money for yourself. If your mom threatens to kick you out... success! move in with your bf and live happily ever after.

Anyway, since it was kinda missed... @Akio123: it sucks but you're gonna just have to suck it up and tell her. It's going to be awkward no matter WHEN you do but it'll be infinitely less worse if you do it sooner rather than later because later on you have the added stress of explaining why you didn't say right away. :(

Hyper Chibi Absol August 6th, 2009 8:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightning (Post 4952099)
Then throw a tantrum and refuse to go to class until you get what you want. : D If the money comes in cheques, call up the bank and make sure you have an account with them that your mom can't access and keep the money for yourself.

The tantrum part seems a bit childish because I NEVER thrown a tantrum in my life, I just ran to my room and cried. o-o; (I cry VERY easily)

I already have my own bank account. :3

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If your mom threatens to kick you out... success! move in with your bf and live happily ever after.
.... : D That comment makes me smile. I never thought I'd actually be happy to be kicked out. xD I'll need to get a bus and plane ticket then when and if that happens.

processr August 6th, 2009 8:17 AM

May I advise that you actually meet this guy face to face before moving in with him permanently? ._.;

Hyper Chibi Absol August 6th, 2009 8:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Get Innocuous! (Post 4952158)
May I advise that you actually meet this guy face to face before moving in with him permanently? ._.;

Well mom agreed to let him come over for holidays. Unfortunatly I won't be able to see him for Christmas. ;-;

I SHOULD be able to see him after the trip to Florida, which by the way, I'm leaving tomarrow for a week or so. Scalloping for the win. Grandma said that there was a record high down there. Last year there was barely any since the water was so damn hot. o-o

Percy Thrillington August 6th, 2009 8:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wakachamo (Post 4948391)
I honestly don't see why you're all bothering helping this person out when the problem here has clearly got to do with something that only she can do for herself, and the quote above is precisely that.

You have no hope. Therefore you think you can't make dreams come true. Therefore you're just going to life like a depressed parasite for the rest of your life. Therefore you're going to die and rot a worthless human being.

And you think that's going to make you happy.

It's not, and you know it's not. Shut the hell up, stop asking these kind of retarded questions on a Pokémon forum, and think about how you're going to make your own future. If you don't like the place you're in right now, get a job, and fight for whatever the hell you need to get you out of whatever you want to get out, because I doubt your "boyfriend"'s parents are going to let some random selfish hobo leech off someone else's resources.

Or are you just going to be one of those people who think that they will be able to use their "disabilities" as a shield to society? Are you going to be one of those people, and expect everything to fall from the sky just because you can?

Wake up. Get up. It's your choice.

Hyper Chibi Absol... why would you ask these questions and ignore someone who took the time to answer you? Even if he was somewhat mean, you could have the decency to respond to him.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 6th, 2009 8:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Jack of Hearts (Post 4952195)
Hyper Chibi Absol... why would you ask these questions and ignore someone who took the time to answer you? Even if he was somewhat mean, you could have the decency to respond to him.

*anime fall* I'm not a fan of posting to rude posts because the people who post them are just basicly acting like... well... you get it.

But I will. >.>;


Quote:

You have no hope. Therefore you think you can't make dreams come true. Therefore you're just going to life like a depressed parasite for the rest of your life. Therefore you're going to die and rot a worthless human being.


They can't come true because to put it bluntly, we live in a ****** world...

Worthless? I already felt worthless until James came along. Being with him gives my life meaning. That I was actually needed.

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And you think that's going to make you happy.


Making others happy especially the ones I care about makes me happy, so yes.[/QUOTE]

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It's not, and you know it's not. Shut the hell up, stop asking these kind of retarded questions on a Pokémon forum, and think about how you're going to make your own future. If you don't like the place you're in right now, get a job, and fight for whatever the hell you need to get you out of whatever you want to get out, because I doubt your "boyfriend"'s parents are going to let some random selfish hobo leech off someone else's resources.


Who're you to tell me to shut up?

My boyfriend's parents WANT me to live there. They sure as hell care about me more than my parents. The only time my parents pay attention to me is when they wait me to do something of their interest.

Quote:

Or are you just going to be one of those people who think that they will be able to use their "disabilities" as a shield to society? Are you going to be one of those people, and expect everything to fall from the sky just because you can?


I'd rather be with people I know and love, rather in a place where people judge you for what you look like and you DON'T know them. I don't like being around a lot of people unless I know them.

Camisado August 6th, 2009 9:11 AM

People are not being rude, they're being realistic. =(

I think you've made your mind up pretty strongly about what you want to do, and given that you're ignoring or discarding everything that everyone suggests that you don't want to hear, and not even thanking them for contributions, I don't think there's much else for you in this thread and you might want to go and see professional counselling instead.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 6th, 2009 9:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camisado (Post 4952371)
People are not being rude, they're being realistic. =(

Saying "shut the hell up" isn't rude?

Quote:

I think you've made your mind up pretty strongly about what you want to do, and given that you're ignoring or discarding everything that everyone suggests that you don't want to hear, and not even thanking them for contributions, I don't think there's much else for you in this thread and you might want to go and see professional counselling instead.
About what I WANT to do, but I can't because mom won't let me do anything what I want. She NEVER has.

I have been in couselling for school since grade school. I never wanted to leave until now. This is because James made me realize something. I've been taking **** that I don't have to all my life. He's sick of it, just as much as me because he hates the way I'm treated. But since my mom just can't let go of me, I'm stuck here.

....Man does it suck to be the first born....

Cherrim August 6th, 2009 9:21 AM

While I agree that it's... not that great to post in a thread like this and then make excuse after excuse for some aspects of advice and ignore the rest but waka's post really was rude, instead of merely being blunt. :(

Percy Thrillington August 6th, 2009 9:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightning (Post 4952407)
While I agree that it's... not that great to post in a thread like this and then make excuse after excuse for some aspects of advice and ignore the rest but waka's post really was rude, instead of merely being blunt. :(

But everything he said was true! And she wasn't exactly listening to you, CloudConnected or Cami...

wakachamo August 6th, 2009 9:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightning (Post 4952407)
While I agree that it's... not that great to post in a thread like this and then make excuse after excuse for some aspects of advice and ignore the rest but waka's post really was rude, instead of merely being blunt. :(

A rude post for a rude person.

Camisado August 6th, 2009 9:26 AM

Well I'm done with this saga of the thread.

Carry on living through life with excuses for everything and "woe is me", then.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 6th, 2009 9:34 AM

The only thing I really need to know is the fact that should I somehow convince mom that I should live with James or just stay here and go to a college that my mom wants me to go to while she takes my disability money away.

processr August 6th, 2009 9:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camisado (Post 4952427)
Carry on living through life with excuses for everything and "woe is me", then.

That's what all the people with these excuses of disorders do. They strive to be like everyone else until their 'disability' could lead to financial benefit.

HCA, this is the last thing I'll say. I urge you to make an honest person of yourself with an honest living. Go to college and get some skills (you don't have to do traditional art - just do something that will lead you to a career) that will support you and your boyfriend. Stop making petty excuses for yourself and make something of your life - you'll get nowhere if you just run off and live off the taxpayer's money. Take your relationship with your boyfriend slowly. You have never met, yet by the sounds of things you want to elope given the first opportunity. Long-distance relationships are difficult, but you can't rush things. I know this; I'm in a long-distance relationship myself, and while it's only something like 10% of the distance between you and your boyfriend it's actually on a bigger scale given the sizes of our respective countries. Like you I fell for my partner before meeting them, but we had to meet before we made anything official. How else would we know if we could even stand each other!? I'm sure this will be the case with you and your boyfriend, but you need to meet in person first before you even start dating properly, let alone run off to live with him. Just take things slowly for the moment, and try not to upset the status quo too much. Please, listen to the advice people have given (whether or not they've been 'rude'), and don't simply take the coward's way out by living off taxpayers' money.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 6th, 2009 10:14 AM

Quote:

HCA, this is the last thing I'll say. I urge you to make an honest person of yourself with an honest living. Go to college and get some skills (you don't have to do traditional art - just do something that will lead you to a career) that will support you and your boyfriend.
What else can I do then? Like a job? If I could work in the manga business here in the US, I would. I'm much better at drawing Japanese anime than I am American cartoons.

Quote:

Stop making petty excuses for yourself and make something of your life - you'll get nowhere if you just run off and live off the taxpayer's money.
I'm not making excuses. I'm giving you reasons why I can't do things. I need to figure out what I CAN do.

Quote:

Take your relationship with your boyfriend slowly. You have never met, yet by the sounds of things you want to elope given the first opportunity. Long-distance relationships are difficult, but you can't rush things. I know this; I'm in a long-distance relationship myself, and while it's only something like 10% of the distance between you and your boyfriend it's actually on a bigger scale given the sizes of our respective countries. Like you I fell for my partner before meeting them, but we had to meet before we made anything official. How else would we know if we could even stand each other!? I'm sure this will be the case with you and your boyfriend, but you need to meet in person first before you even start dating properly, let alone run off to live with him. Just take things slowly for the moment, and try not to upset the status quo too much. Please, listen to the advice people have given (whether or not they've been 'rude'), and don't simply take the coward's way out by living off taxpayers' money.
I live in Illinois while he lives in Florida. We're about 3 or 4 states away from eachother.

He told me that even though it really doesn't seem like it, there's a chance I may not like him. If that happens, he'll pay for my plane ticket back to Illinois.

I am listening.

How is it the cowards way out? In the case I can't get a job even with the college degree, I'm stuck. With un-employment rate growing at an alarming rate, chances are, I'm not gonna get the job no matter how hard I work on art.

If anything, disability would be smart.

processr August 6th, 2009 10:17 AM

I give up. Go ahead and make nothing of your life and mooch off the taxpayer forever. You aren't going to listen to any of us, so well done, you've succeeded in bringing attention to your 'plight'.

Mika August 6th, 2009 5:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 4952075)
James was able to live on his own for a while with only $1000. Since he's paying for my rent when we're both going to move in together at his mom's house, I think I'll be able to support myself.

James was able to live on his own for awhile. James is a "single" guy who was living by himself. 1000 bucks in Florida; that's tight but that's doable. Are you sure with your combined disability you're going to have enough? This is much harder than I think you've considered and it's not as simple or as clear cut either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol
I already applied for it. In real life, I can barely talk because it almost scares me to. I don't like being in crouds (a small group of people of people I know very well is fine but I still won't say much)

I hate to be harsh but I'm the same way and I got told to beat it and deal with it. Maybe it's different because you're on the spectrum but at the same time, there are people out there with higher levels of severity in their disabilities and they don't have infinite supplies of monies. They have to decline people for funds or reduce the amount people receive. It's an economy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol
I can't. She won't let me live on campus...

So you're willing to fly to Florida and defy your mother but you're not willing to defy her and live on campus? I'm not sure I understand, sorry.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol
Well finding a different college is out of the question because I'm already signed up for it...

Did you know that if you cancel after a certain date you have to pay fees? You better cancel soon or you're going to end up paying for something you never intended to use which is a colossal waste of money.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol
I'm being put on disability because my mom wants me to pay her rent while I go to a college I don't want to go to. I won't get ANY of that money if I stay until I get out of college and by then, she'll make me get rid of that money to get a job. She's controling my life like it's her own. But it's not.

I have controlling parents too. Just because you turn 18 doesn't make them stop being your parents. There's no real difference between age 17 and 18 or rather the 24 hours that seperate them. It takes time to establish yourself but they're always going to be in your face because well, they're your parents it's what they do. Now is there another side to this? Are you in danger of losing your home? I don't see a huge problem with you helping out your parents with some disability money seeing as they've raised you. If you don't want them to use it, get out of the house. If you're in the house you can't just freeload. Just because you grew up there doesn't entitle you to free room and board. :x

If it's your life, do something about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol
Asperger Syndrome makes it increadably difficult to communicate with others that it scares me to talk.

ADHD doesn't really effect me as much as it did as a child other than the fact that I have a hard time focusing on things.

The Anxiety Disorder just causes me to become increadably cautious.

K, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, this segement and other segements before it combined; you're sounding a bit on the excuse side of the disability train. I've worked with people with Aspies and Autism since I was 13 and I know that a good majority of them struggle to work past it. They want to go to college or at least become good working adults, they want to function on their own. You do not seem to realize that your college is required by federal law to have awesome people to help you adjust to college. They'll battle your professors if you get an idiot who won't give you the extra time your paperwork says you need; they'll make sure you feel safe; they'll make sure you feel welcome and that your basic needs are met. You're just willing to walk away form that?

Like I said before, Disability is the best part of college for me. I hate my classes. I hate my professors. I love my student resources. They've helped me so much and I'm a much stronger person than I was. They helped keep me up when the going was tough. :x Yeah, there's parts of life that suck but do you think it's going to be much better in Florida? You're not looking at pure sunshine and rainbows.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol
He and I just want to live together, so yes.

Have you looked into colleges in Florida near him? A middle ground, where everyone can at least be tolerate of eachother. :x Sure you may be stuck at a stupid college for a semester but if you work with your school, you can transfer down to be near him and you'll still be going to college.

See... hun, I think what you want us to do is to give you a huge hug and tell you that your mother is a witch and that she treats you poorly and how you should just go fly right down to Florida but, looking back on all that's been said, it's obvious that more people than just myself have tried to tell you it's not practical. :x

I know you want to be together near eachother and I know that it's hard to be in a long distance relationship but you have to be patient and bide your time. I really don't want to see you get down there with no money, suddenly no boyfriend and no way home. D: that'd just be horrible.

I guess in conclusion, look over what people have said and think about it. Think about the positive aspects of college instead of all the bad and think about whether or not you're willing to stand up to your mother period. It's great to complain I do it all the time but if you're not willing to stand up and at least try and fight for yourself, you're just going to frustrate people who are trying to help ;;

The Red Chain August 7th, 2009 5:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 4948716)
Then explain how I felt when I was younger. I was happy and full of life as a child. People should see me as a happy-go lucky person then. But they didn't. They saw me as a loser. THAT's why I am what I am today.


Okay look.
First of all, you need to get over the past. Time doesn't wait for anyone, and living in the past is certainly not healthy. You need to lift your head up and look towards the future. You don't need to feel like you have to conform to a society that believes beauty only exists on the cover of a magazine. You are a wonderful and beautiful person, you need to have faith in that, and NO, not just because your boyfriend tells you so.
Because you ARE, and that is the pure truth dear.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 4948716)
Not in my case. I don't want to go. The only reason why I am is because I don't want mom yelling at me (I hate yelling) and I'm going to the cheapest one. I'm being forced into going to college.

Your mom is older than you, she's been through life, she knows a lot better than you do. I'm on your mom's side, as she's pushing you into the correct path, I give serious credit to your mother. She wants you to get a good future started before you even attempt moving out.. it's only the best thing to do. You have to understand your mother has put you into college for your own sake. If you don't get a good education you will never get a good job and you will NEVER be truly happy. Stop believing your mother is holding you back from happiness just cause you can't move in with your boyfriend. Love can wait, you need to get things together first before you even THINK about moving out, or starting a family.
You think your kids will honestly be happy? Having a mother with no job, no education, no self-esteem, and hardly able to support herself, much less her family?
Having kids in your current state is asking for life-term depression.

Also, love is not always forever. How do you know you and your boyfriend won't fight about something?
How do you know things won't get ugly after a while? What will you do if you two break up?
Don't tell me you never will break up, you don't know that.
Just because this is your first boyfriend doesn't mean it will last, and honestly you never truly know someone until you live with them.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 7th, 2009 9:07 AM

Quote:

Did you know that if you cancel after a certain date you have to pay fees? You better cancel soon or you're going to end up paying for something you never intended to use which is a colossal waste of money.
Canceling now would be pointless now. Since I'm already signed up, I think it's already too late.

Quote:

Have you looked into colleges in Florida near him?
Well no... but it doesn't really matter at this point.

Quote:

I guess in conclusion, look over what people have said and think about it. Think about the positive aspects of college instead of all the bad and think about whether or not you're willing to stand up to your mother period. It's great to complain I do it all the time but if you're not willing to stand up and at least try and fight for yourself, you're just going to frustrate people who are trying to help ;;
It isn't a matter of thinking about it anymore. I have no choice but to go because I'm already signed up...

I've always let people walk all over me before. I'm not a very assertive person and I probably never will be. I'm guessing it's because I fear about what others may think of my oppinion because I always think of the worst. Sometimes I just can't help it...

Quote:

You are a wonderful and beautiful person, you need to have faith in that, and NO, not just because your boyfriend tells you so.
Because you ARE, and that is the pure truth dear.

But how can I believe that when only my boyfriend and you, just now, said that? Have you seen what I look like? You and I haven't really talked to eachother so you don't know my personality.

Quote:

Love can wait
What happens if James isn't as healthy as I thought he was? I don't know the condition of his organs. What if his illness gets worse to the point that he's on his death bed and I'm stuck here in Illinois? If that ever happened... I'd lose it.

My love has a timer that ticks faster because unlike most couples, I have a boyfriend whose life is going to be significantly shortened because he had to draw the short straw at birth and had to be born withh Wilson's... In other words, I have a limited time with him before I lose him forever...


Quote:

You think your kids will honestly be happy? Having a mother with no job, no education, no self-esteem, and hardly able to support herself, much less her family?
I have an education. If I wanted to, since I have two years or Horticulture and Agriculture, I could become a Florist.

And having no job to spend more time at home would be good because that means more time of togetherness with my family.

Quote:

How do you know things won't get ugly after a while? What will you do if you two break up?
In every relationship, there is always bound to be a fight about something.

If it makes him happier to be away from me, I'll be happy. I love him so much that I want him to be the happiest he can be.

Quote:

Just because this is your first boyfriend doesn't mean it will last, and honestly you never truly know someone until you live with them.
If James doesn't want to be with me then that'll be the end of relationships for me, because in my mind, James is my first and last. If I went to find someone else whether we broke up or James died, I'd feel like that love for him has been in vain.

幕之内 一歩 August 7th, 2009 4:51 PM

Maybe this is a problem, maybe it isn't. But I felt this was the best place to post my 'problem', a gripe if you will.

Recently I just finished watching a television series called Kings. At first I was skeptical because TV these days has not been able to hold my attention. Full of horrendous 'reality' TV, TV shows with more twists and turns than there really needs to be in a show, and then just plain ol'horribly written, horribly cast and horribly acted TV shows.

Kings was different. Despite having so many religious tones, for instance
Spoiler:
The main character is named David Shepherd and in the first episode he blows up a tank called a Goliath.
The show never really tried to impress upon you 'Oh believe in God. Here is Gods message. God is great!" It's a very well written show that is loosely based on the biblical story of King David.

The cast is perfect for all their roles. The writing is excellent, some of the best I've seen for a television series. Normally I groan when I watch TV because you can always tell the difference between television and movie written scripts, but not here. It feels like a movie quality script and the acting is top notch, some of the best I've also seen for TV.

But enough of proclaiming how much I love this show and why you should watch it. My gripe is this, after finishing the first season recently on hulu.com (which I suggest you guys go give a chance if you have the mind to) that the series was canceled.

It was like a blow you weren't expecting. It really sucks that after all this time in the horrible TV these days, that I finally manage to find a gem worth watching and they've already canceled it.

A side note, please don't respond with all these shows I should watch that are 'awesome'! because you'll be wasting your time and breath as I won't give any of that a second thought. I'm peculiar about TV and I rarely watch any besides sports or movies. I'm just here to gripe and complain and if you want, by all means just ignore it.

Camisado August 8th, 2009 12:17 PM

Any excuse to move away from the previous topic is welcome.

幕之内 一歩, I had the same problem with a series that was televised in Canada, and was released on Virgin On Demand over here - jPod, based on a novel by my favourite author. There was a massive cliffhanger at the end ("I think she's in a coma") and then the series was cancelled; no further episodes to be made for a second season.

I'm also very picky about my TV viewing, and this was pretty darn irritating, because it was the brain child of a man I adore and admire.

I know, there is far too much trash like Big Brother and other reality TV shows. English TV is full of reality TV - there's one on right now about people having plastic surgery, and following their stories. Boring and shallow; well done, England. Pop Idol, Britain's Got Talent, Strictly Come Dancing? Seriously?

I am lucky that there is one channel on the Freeview and satellite services we have that plays decent things I enjoy (quiz shows and comedians mostly, as well as Top Gear), and some hidden gems like Stephen Fry's Kingdom and Channel 4's The IT Crowd. Other than that, you have to wonder how certain things stay on air and other things get cancelled even though they're thought-provoking, enjoyable and worthwhile. =/

I hope I understood your point. ^^

The Red Chain August 8th, 2009 2:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 4956531)
But how can I believe that when only my boyfriend and you, just now, said that? Have you seen what I look like? You and I haven't really talked to eachother so you don't know my personality.

What happens if James isn't as healthy as I thought he was? I don't know the condition of his organs. What if his illness gets worse to the point that he's on his death bed and I'm stuck here in Illinois? If that ever happened... I'd lose it.

I have an education. If I wanted to, since I have two years or Horticulture and Agriculture, I could become a Florist.


And having no job to spend more time at home would be good because that means more time of togetherness with my family.

In every relationship, there is always bound to be a fight about something.


If it makes him happier to be away from me, I'll be happy. I love him so much that I want him to be the happiest he can be.

If James doesn't want to be with me then that'll be the end of relationships for me, because in my mind, James is my first and last. If I went to find someone else whether we broke up or James died, I'd feel like that love for him has been in vain.

Actually Chibi, I have talked to you.
Many many times, but it was years ago and it was on Serebii forums instead of here. I do know your personality, but now you seem much more complicated and hard headed than you used to be. Why the crap would I care about looks? I don't care what you look like, looks don't ever matter. My point being, everyone is great on the inside, even if they display a foul personality. That's just influence from their surroundings, such as their peers, no one is truly bad. You are a great person, you just need to learn to live a little, it'll be for the better. Well, if James does become even more sick, you can always take off from whatever job you are at, or take days off of school to visit with him. By society's terms you won't have an education if you don't go to college. You'll end up saying 'ding fries ready' for the rest of your life if you don't get a degree of some sort ; at the very least Associate's. More time with your family? You can always spend time with your family. If you have a job you can always take the shift during the day when your child/ren are at school, then at night you can come home and spend time with them.
Counting on James's parents for money, or the government's money to support your family is such a foul and pitiful thing to do. It's shameful to count on someone else to support you, when you can very well get a job to do so yourself. Off topic a bit, don't you also think it's way too early in your relationship to be planning children? You've not even met the guy in person, and you've only known him for 5 months.. I dunno, but in my eyes that's much too early to plan something so huge.
Chibi, you are missing the point. The point is, you need to get a degree to prove your education, and you need to get a job.

If you truly love James you'll do anything you can to support him for the rest of his days. Do you seriously think James is going to be proud to say his girlfriend is degree-less AND job-less?
I wouldn't be, that's for certain. I'd be embarrassed to admit such a thing. Just because you stay by his side does not by any means show dedication.
True dedication is a hard-working girlfriend who is willing to bust her ass to get the money you two need to live a good life, instead of feeding off the government when that money could be going towards someone who, persay, is in a wheelchair and isn't mobile enough to get the money themselves.
That is truly sad, really.

I Laugh at your Misfortune! August 8th, 2009 2:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camisado (Post 4960665)
I am lucky that there is one channel on the Freeview and satellite services we have that plays decent things I enjoy (quiz shows and comedians mostly, as well as Top Gear)

This sounds like the epic channel of Dave, am I correct? :D

Hyper Chibi Absol August 8th, 2009 4:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by мilкii Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (Post 4961045)
Actually Chibi, I have talked to you.
Many many times, but it was years ago and it was on Serebii forums instead of here.



Wait... What? What was you username there? Sorry... I have bad memory, plus I've been going to Serebii for four years now (I still go there but the place has gotten very dull to me for some reason, but I just can't seem to leave because of my friends there)

Quote:

Why the crap would I care about looks? I don't care what you look like, looks don't ever matter. My point being, everyone is great on the inside, even if they display a foul personality. That's just influence from their surroundings, such as their peers, no one is truly bad. You are a great person, you just need to learn to live a little, it'll be for the better.
Live a little by doing what? My 'friends' never visit me or invite me to parties. The only real friends I seem to have would be my friends online and James and I can't actually hang out with them because they're miles away. SOMETIMES my little sister's friends'll ask if I want to walk with them, but very rarely.

Quote:

Well, if James does become even more sick, you can always take off from whatever job you are at, or take days off of school to visit with him.
What if my parents don't even let me do that? They'll probably say something very stupid like 'You can't go because we have no money'. I'll be stuck here because my parents are concerned about there own money. If mom hadn't decided that I should pay here rent with all my disability, I'd be able to pay for a plane ticket myself, but instead, no, I can't be that lucky...

I do NOT want James to go with me not being able to get atleast one last 'good bye'. That would kill me if that happened...

Quote:

Off topic a bit, don't you also think it's way too early in your relationship to be planning children? You've not even met the guy in person, and you've only known him for 5 months.. I dunno, but in my eyes that's much too early to plan something so huge.


I don't think so. Planning doesn't mean we have to have 'em right away.


Quote:

If you truly love James you'll do anything you can to support him for the rest of his days. Do you seriously think James is going to be proud to say his girlfriend is degree-less AND job-less?
I wouldn't be, that's for certain. I'd be embarrassed to admit such a thing. Just because you stay by his side does not by any means show dedication.
True dedication is a hard-working girlfriend who is willing to bust her ass to get the money you two need to live a good life, instead of feeding off the government when that money could be going towards someone who, persay, is in a wheelchair and isn't mobile enough to get the money themselves.
That is truely
Quote:

sad, really.
Yeah... I would, but he doesn't like the idea of the fact that I would be working and he's staying at home. He feels that the man should work while the girl stays home. He WANTS to work, he just can't...

Camisado August 8th, 2009 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Screw the rules, I have green hair! (Post 4961062)
This sounds like the epic channel of Dave, am I correct? :D

You are very correct. Long live Dave! \o\

The Red Chain August 9th, 2009 3:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 4961398)
What if my parents don't even let me do that? They'll probably say something very stupid like 'You can't go because we have no money'. I'll be stuck here because my parents are concerned about there own money. If mom hadn't decided that I should pay here rent with all my disability, I'd be able to pay for a plane ticket myself, but instead, no, I can't be that lucky...

Yeah... I would, but he doesn't like the idea of the fact that I would be working and he's staying at home. He feels that the man should work while the girl stays home. He WANTS to work, he just can't...

Pay for a plane ticket? See if you had a job you could get money a completely different way, this proves you are counting on only your disability money to fulfill your needs. Well, since James can't work, someone has to. That someone being you. There is always time to spend with James, you act like working or going to school is going to make it impossible, when in fact the money from working can be saved up for a plane ticket. Just start off slow, get a part time job to get the money you need to go see James. Since you are over 18, you do not by any means have to listen to your parents. If you are using your own money, there is not any real way they could stop you other than complaining about it. =/
Then once you move you can quit your part time job and start a new one closer to James, and/or transfer to a college near his home.
You are really making this much more complicated than it actually is..

Hyper Chibi Absol August 9th, 2009 5:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by мilкii Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (Post 4962879)
Pay for a plane ticket? See if you had a job you could get money a completely different way, this proves you are counting on only your disability money to fulfill your needs. Well, since James can't work, someone has to. That someone being you. There is always time to spend with James, you act like working or going to school is going to make it impossible, when in fact the money from working can be saved up for a plane ticket. Just start off slow, get a part time job to get the money you need to go see James. Since you are over 18, you do not by any means have to listen to your parents. If you are using your own money, there is not any real way they could stop you other than complaining about it. =/
Then once you move you can quit your part time job and start a new one closer to James, and/or transfer to a college near his home.
You are really making this much more complicated than it actually is..

Mom wants me put on the disability until I'm done with college. After the two year community college, she wants me and James to get married (Which is great, I'm just a little bummed that I have to wait two years to be. >->)

I know I legally don't have to but I feel like I almost have to, to avoid being yelled at. Yelling scares me more than you know. In fact, knowing my dad whenever he yells, I get so scared that I have to hide upstairs. Mom doesn't yell as loud but she can scare me too.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 9th, 2009 7:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cookie ☆ (Post 4965168)
I hate being yelled at, too. But I know that if I had the power to stand up for myself, I would use it to my advantage to do so. :3

Only age is the thing that I can use, but I'm much too timid to say 'no' to my parents.

fango pango August 10th, 2009 6:57 AM

you 2 do know chibi chan said no one liners
anyway,so im british(you know)and most people here and on serebii are american based,so,what happens when i go to sleep???i miss like 10 pages of important games so i have to go read them and then post and on a day like this where serebii isnt working for me,i have to read the pages,post and hope that noone beats me and makes my post make no sense,also i find at school they ban stuff like youtube on computers you use but keep it on their computer...that drives me crazy:(

Camisado August 10th, 2009 8:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fango pango (Post 4966853)
you 2 do know chibi chan said no one liners
anyway,so im british(you know)and most people here and on serebii are american based,so,what happens when i go to sleep???i miss like 10 pages of important games so i have to go read them and then post and on a day like this where serebii isnt working for me,i have to read the pages,post and hope that noone beats me and makes my post make no sense,also i find at school they ban stuff like youtube on computers you use but keep it on their computer...that drives me crazy:(

You know, you're not at school to use YouTube and other non-educational sites. That's why they're blocked.

I'm an IT admin at work, and I sure don't like people wasting company time with leisure surfing. :T Not only is it a waste of time, videos and other streaming media use a lot of network bandwidth and means people trying to do legitimate work get stalled by you.

Teachers and IT technicians have free access to them for technical and teaching purposes. Not to spite you.

ALC_Allstar August 12th, 2009 10:25 PM

I have a new problem that I should have posted right when it happened. Okay, so as there have been many posts about girl problems I have one. Back in sixth grade (now in seventh) there was this girl whom I sort of like. We are actually pretty good friends but the summer break ruins everything like an axe to a log. Earlier that year she kept staring at me and when I looked back at her she flashed me either a nervous smile or an "I like you" grin. So now if this thing between me and her is still going entering the new school year, what should I do? I sort of casually work things with girls into conversations with my mom (can't trust my dad without him flipping out) but I am kinda scared that she's gonna blow up. What I am hoping for is that she is gonna ask me to a movie or something so I can tell my mom without being nervous. Should I still hope for this or just tell my mom. I am thinking about making our relationship so much stronger by talking to her more often, and if we sit by each other in class helping her with her work and making sure one arm is down so she can try to touch it. Is my plan okay? School starts in four days so I need help quick please. Thanks!

poopnoodle August 13th, 2009 9:30 AM

Oh, middle school crushes. :) When school begins, for about a week I would try the subtle flirting you guys were doing months before. If you're that interested, do some discreet investigating on whether or not she's single.

Try not to be creepy...
Quote:

if we sit by each other in class helping her with her work and making sure one arm is down so she can try to touch it
...that I consider a little creepy.

Just look for the signs, and work up the courage to start talking to her and gradually building a relationship.

Don't be nervous about facing rejection...if she ends up not having mutual feelings, be understanding, and don't let it affect you negatively. (Remember, girls dig confidence!) Maybe you have something to work on, or maybe her dad doesn't let her date, or something. You'll probably develop another crush soon after, anyways.

Good luck!

Charizard★ August 14th, 2009 1:20 PM

Cousin Moving in for a Year
 
Ok, so my cousins from India is moving in with us for a year for College. From the start we didn't get along very well. He would always comment about how America is pathetic and how India was better (I didn't really care about that) But then he started making fun of my friends and how my friends brother died in Iraq. Then I got pissed, I didn't want to say anything so I let it go (I wanted to beat the crap out of him). But then he got on my computer and ruined it by giving it a virus! (I gave him 1 last strike) And when he commented racialy abotu Blacks an Mexicans I got mad and cussed him out! (Because most of my friends are Black and Mexican). I don't want to be fighting everyday I get home for my whole Freshman year. Any help please?

poopnoodle August 14th, 2009 7:01 PM

Percentage%- Oooh arrogant anti-Americans. I've got a friend from France who used to incessantly belittle US culture and politics, but it just took a little rational confrontation to settle that. This guy seems like a real bully, though. The worst thing to do is react like he's affecting you. When he says insolent things, I suggest you and your friends act like you're not offended. People who verbally attack out of spite are usually just looking for a reaction, so if you ignore his comments, perhaps he'll give it up.

If I were you, I'd hide my computer and other important possessions he could sabotage, and avoid leaving them obtainable at all times.

Always be reasonable, try your best to control your emotions. But avoid confrontation, because irrational people are impossible to reason with.

(Side note: If you haven't seen him in a long time, perhaps he's changed. A little glimmer of optimism for you.)


Good luck :)

Charizard★ August 15th, 2009 1:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poopnoodle (Post 4987320)
Percentage%- Oooh arrogant anti-Americans. I've got a friend from France who used to incessantly belittle US culture and politics, but it just took a little rational confrontation to settle that. This guy seems like a real bully, though. The worst thing to do is react like he's affecting you. When he says insolent things, I suggest you and your friends act like you're not offended. People who verbally attack out of spite are usually just looking for a reaction, so if you ignore his comments, perhaps he'll give it up.

If I were you, I'd hide my computer and other important possessions he could sabotage, and avoid leaving them obtainable at all times.

Always be reasonable, try your best to control your emotions. But avoid confrontation, because irrational people are impossible to reason with.

(Side note: If you haven't seen him in a long time, perhaps he's changed. A little glimmer of optimism for you.)


Good luck :)

He is already in my house and been here for 2 weeks, and I can't hide my computer :(

Weatherman, Kiyoshi August 15th, 2009 2:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by percentage% (Post 4985783)
Ok, so my cousins from India is moving in with us for a year for College. From the start we didn't get along very well. He would always comment about how America is pathetic and how India was better (I didn't really care about that) But then he started making fun of my friends and how my friends brother died in Iraq. Then I got pissed, I didn't want to say anything so I let it go (I wanted to beat the crap out of him). But then he got on my computer and ruined it by giving it a virus! (I gave him 1 last strike) And when he commented racialy abotu Blacks an Mexicans I got mad and cussed him out! (Because most of my friends are Black and Mexican). I don't want to be fighting everyday I get home for my whole Freshman year. Any help please?

Punch him in the F'ing face for me.

Why not take it easy.
Obviously he sucks.

Personally, words can be quite powerful.

Like so:

Him: "Ugh. You Americans are-"
You: "Save that thought, because frankly I don't give a damn about what you think of this country or it's people, or anywhere else and it's people for that matter. No country is freaking perfect, and you fail to realize that because you too ignorant and stupid for your own good. And you better keep your Douchebaggery to yourself, or I'll see of some way to make you live on the street instead of here. Got it? Good. Piss off."

Communication is an option,
Poopnoodle's advice is one, too.
See what works.
I hate to know that someone out there has to deal with this kind of crap.

Charizard★ August 15th, 2009 2:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ¿Question Kiyoshi-Crayon? (Post 4990738)
Punch him in the F'ing face for me.

Why not take it easy.
Obviously he sucks.

Personally, words can be quite powerful.

Like so:

Him: "Ugh. You Americans are-"
You: "Save that thought, because frankly I don't give a damn about what you think of this country or it's people, or anywhere else and it's people for that matter. No country is freaking perfect, and you fail to realize that because you too ignorant and stupid for your own good. And you better keep your Douchebaggery to yourself, or I'll see of some way to make you live on the street instead of here. Got it? Good. Piss off."

Communication is an option,
Poopnoodle's advice is one, too.
See what works.
I hate to know that someone out there has to deal with this kind of crap.

o.o Lol, ok i'll do that. But my dad will be mad if he tells Dx

Weatherman, Kiyoshi August 15th, 2009 2:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by percentage% (Post 4990745)
o.o Lol, ok i'll do that. But my dad will be mad if he tells Dx

Well you don't have to,
choose the best option you can get out of a list of options you can do.

and should your dad REALLY get mad at you for telling that douche to stfu with his Racism, Anti-American(ism?), etc. etc.?

No. He shouldn't.

Akio123 August 26th, 2009 5:49 PM

Hey guys, I have a little problem. My new university is so huge and I have yet to make any friends. The school is in DC and I'm from New York, so I am used to huge places, but I still feel a little over whelmed and nervous.

Ultraviolence August 26th, 2009 5:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akio123 (Post 5040383)
Hey guys, I have a little problem. My new university is so huge and I have yet to make any friends. The school is in DC and I'm from New York, so I am used to huge places, but I still feel a little over whelmed and nervous.

I'd surrgest trying to mix with some people. You'll soon get some friends, I am sure. Ask people you like to go out drinking or something. Bond and play console games and the likes.

Synaesthesia August 26th, 2009 6:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akio123 (Post 5040383)
Hey guys, I have a little problem. My new university is so huge and I have yet to make any friends. The school is in DC and I'm from New York, so I am used to huge places, but I still feel a little over whelmed and nervous.

You might feel overwhelmed, but there are pros and cons to everything. Try to look on the bright side about the fact that your university is huge: it's got tons of people. That pretty much guarantees that you'll find someone you get along with very soon and before you know it you'll have a group of friends to hang out with. Try putting yourself out there a little more, that's all there is to it.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 27th, 2009 4:16 AM

Hi guys... If you read previous posts of mine in this thread, you should know the situation I was in...

Those who don't, I was wanting to go live with my boyfriend but was refused to and shoved to college.

Well, there in lies my problem...

I did some typing of what I felt there yesterday. This was orginally meant for my dA journal, but it explains everything.

If anyone can help me, please do so... *hugs*

Quote:

*sigh* No internet here really. >: I brought my comupter to SWIC for nothing. It says I have internet connection but it LIES!!! D:

Maybe it's only the part of the college I'm in. Oh well...

I hope this day goes well for me... So far, I'm not liking college at all. :/ Kinda reduced me to tears every night so far I've been in, and I just started! I can't imagine what I'd be like later. Well... actually I can and it's not gonna be being happy... Is that even possible anymore? Me being happy or even me being able to SMILE?!

I'm tired, depressed, and scared... My back hurts from carrying a 2 ton book bag. >->;

I just... really think my mom expects too much of me. James thinks so too. I can't handle all this... It hurts literally! I'm already emotionally scarred from my past. This emotionally wounds me... Physically I have pains in my back and legs, I have shakey hands so work'll be difficult. Which is weird since I'm good at art but... meh....

I can really see this being the death of me... if not, it'll severly murder my emotions and scar me mentally from having bad thoughts daily....

My anxiety disorder is what really causes me to feel this way added to the fact that I go through torture like this. I have thoughts of things that happen that I can't stop because I feel trapped in a box with no way out...

Not only that, but I'm just terrified of people. I have to face it. I'm agoraphobic...

This is why talking on the internet is just so much easier. Online you can't be hurt because all it is, are words on a screen. In real life they CAN hurt you. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. I'm not sure what I want others to do.... Part of me wants them to notice me because, as always, I'm looked through like a mirror as if I'm not even there. But on the same token, if people actually do pay attention to me, I get scared and can't keep a conversation going. I'm quieter than quiet. If there's even a word for that. People in real life, might actually see me as a mute. That's how little I talk.

*sigh* I just don't know... But I have to head to class anyway so I''m ending it here.

---

I met a friend at school I guess. I don't know her name yet but I met her at lunch. Or rather... She met me. This is her freshman year too.

I don't understand why I have to be here... It's just stupid... I'd much rather be at home right now, you have no idea...

And I can't even believe that, I've complained not liking to be at my house, so you can imagine the horrors that I'm enduring now... Or will soon later. This is just the beginning...

I THINK my next class starts at noon. So I have 30 minutes to get there and wait...

---

Well my school day is over but I have to wait till I can get on the train and bus back home. I was playing a bit of my Firered ROM but quit. My laptop's battery is dying so I only have so much time on it before I can't use it anymore here. I didn't bring my charger with me. :/

It's 1:41 PM now and I have to be at the train station at 3:05 so... 1 hour and 24 minutes. *bashes head against her comuter screen* WHY?!? Why do I have to wait so long?? And that's from now. I've been waiting longer while I was playing Firered!

Ugh... I hate college... This actually makes me wish I could drive and had a car. Mom would never buy me one and I don't have a job so a car is out of the question... :/

According to my computer, I have 30 minutes left on it. Meaning about an hour of pointless waiting... My cellphone is almost dead so I can't do anything with it either. In case there is a god and he hates my guts, I want to make sure I have enough energy to call my Nana if I need her to pick me up in case 'God' made me late for the train or bus for some stupid reason or make them leave early before I could get there... :/ (You can tell I don't like God if he exists. If he did, he must think I'm the shittiest person alive and should be totured slowly and painfully until I'm at the point of ending my life.... Truely what I feel about him. I just don't want my parents to know. :/ Mom would beat the **** out of me, burn me alive, and make me read the Bible until my eyes bled if she ever found out.)

And now I',m getting heat flashes (I'm outside) Heh. The inside is too cold but the outside is too hot. Which would you rather be???

I suck at making jokes...

AHH!! ****ing bugs won't shut the hell up!! They're those screeching bugs that leave their exoskeletons that they shed on trees. I forgot what they were called, but they're the same bug as Nincada, Ninjask, and Shedinja from Pokemon.

I guess, in a way, all my complaining on here would be good for me so my emotions are not kept all inside... Like anyone will actually read this but it's more for my health, because I know there's something wrong with me. I shouldn't be depressed or scared of people but I am... So if you are reading this, please don't think I'm emo because I'm not. I have emotional issues and I think they first because clear to me at the age of 14 so... 8th grade. I've had a lot of troubles with bullies in my past. I've been beaten as a child for stupid things, like not doing laundry for my dad, with a belt.

At school, I was always looked at funny and pretty much was told that I was ugly by everyone. People even made stupid jokes like another person liked me when I know they sure as hell didn't...

In the past I have been known to get back pains and sharp pains in my legs. (Similar to charliehorses. Did I spell that right?)

I'm not a fan of pain. (It's odd because I used to result to self-punishment in the past whenever I thought I did something wrong. Maybe because I'd hate it more, it would be a better punishment? I have no idea...)

I'm severely screwed up, but before you all think I just need to be put on meds, let me tell you something. They don't work. It may seem like they do for a few hours but it isn't perminent. If anything, it makes depression worse. I'd rather be dulled to the pain, than to be happy for a few hours then depressed again.

All pills do is plaster a fake smile on your face, but the pain is still there. I'm sure anyone on pills for depression will agree with me. That's how I feel and I'm not even on meds anymore. I felt like I didn't need 'em so I stoped taking 'em. Mom didn't want to bother spending money for something I was never going to use, so she stopped buying my perscription. (Probably the only smart thing that she did involving me)

Just so you know, I hardly even do anything with my family. We don't sit around the dinning room table to eat dinner every night. We just do that for Thanksgiving and Birthdays.

I never even stay in the same room as them to do whatever I like to do like draw, listen to music, or talk to you guys. I hardly even speak to any of them other than saying 'hi' or if my parents want something of me. Other than that, I'm completely and uterly silent. Hell... I think I talk to my cats more than my family and that's just sad....

I have 4 minutes left so I'm gonna wrap this up before I lose power.


Nick August 27th, 2009 12:22 PM

You seem to have your mind set on living with your boyfriend, not getting a job, and living off of disability and other people's money judging how you respond to other people suggesting that you get out and do something with your life. What you do is entirely up to you, but you aren't going to get far in life living off of monthly checks of a set amount. If you decide to do that, I surely hope that you're not thinking of bringing a child into this world because he or she is going to have an incredibly difficult life ahead of them. You need to set your priorities straight. If you want to be, basically, a willing mooch, so be it. But if you actually want to make a living, get the notion that you can live off of disability out of your head, listen to your mother, and go to college. Make a living. Otherwise, ten years from now, you're going to regret not taking the initiative.

Don't want to do what I and others suggested for whatever? Sucks for you. Enjoy not having a life. If you think college is hard, just imagine how life would be if you go on, skip college, go on to living off of other people's money. You'll get so far. A two bedroom home in a horrible neighborhood. I can see it all so clearly. I don't care either way, it's your life. If you want to screw it up and throw away the past 18 years of your life, so be it.

HyPeRsHoCk August 27th, 2009 12:49 PM

So back in May, I started dating this girl. She lives about 2 hours away and we met at a summer camp. I totally fell in love with her. I absolutely love her personality. And believe it or not, I think she might be "one". So she broke up with me about a month ago. She said it was only because she couldn't handle having a bf with all the problems in her life atm. She also said she wanted to get back together in the future. I've asked her a few more times over the weeks if she really wanted to get back together, and she said yes. (In the future). So...I'm still madly in love with this girl. So what should I do? Just keep talking to her as a "friend", wait, and hopefully she'll want to get back together?....

poopnoodle August 27th, 2009 1:02 PM

The only thing you can do is be supportive and wait it out. However, if she's postponing the relationship for too long and you start to question whether or not she really wants to be with you, I'd start socializing with other (insert sexual preference here...because for all I know you could have the hots for men too)s...because you probably don't deserve to just be seen as another responsibility if you've stayed long enough for her to decide whether or not to commit. I'd say save yourself some heartbreak and terminate the relationship now, but since you've known her for awhile and seem to have really strong feelings for her, that would probably hurt the both of you.

Just keep seeing her and perhaps she'll come around.

HyPeRsHoCk August 27th, 2009 1:12 PM

Alright I'll try. And I really hope so. There isn't a day where I'm not depressed and not thinking about her...I even had a dream about her two nights ago. :/

Hyper Chibi Absol August 27th, 2009 2:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patchisou Yutohru (Post 5042928)
You seem to have your mind set on living with your boyfriend, not getting a job, and living off of disability and other people's money judging how you respond to other people suggesting that you get out and do something with your life. What you do is entirely up to you, but you aren't going to get far in life living off of monthly checks of a set amount. If you decide to do that, I surely hope that you're not thinking of bringing a child into this world because he or she is going to have an incredibly difficult life ahead of them. You need to set your priorities straight. If you want to be, basically, a willing mooch, so be it. But if you actually want to make a living, get the notion that you can live off of disability out of your head, listen to your mother, and go to college. Make a living. Otherwise, ten years from now, you're going to regret not taking the initiative.

Don't want to do what I and others suggested for whatever? Sucks for you. Enjoy not having a life. If you think college is hard, just imagine how life would be if you go on, skip college, go on to living off of other people's money. You'll get so far. A two bedroom home in a horrible neighborhood. I can see it all so clearly. I don't care either way, it's your life. If you want to screw it up and throw away the past 18 years of your life, so be it.


We're still debating on children... I know James said before when he was talking to a friend that maybe we should have kids so he can leave something of himself behind so I can remember him. But he also doesn't want to bring new life into this horrible world...

I'd rather live a happy life then die of suicide for too much stress from school/parents/ect.

Nick August 28th, 2009 1:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 5043539)
We're still debating on children... I know James said before when he was talking to a friend that maybe we should have kids so he can leave something of himself behind so I can remember him. But he also doesn't want to bring new life into this horrible world...

I'd rather live a happy life then die of suicide for too much stress from school/parents/ect.

I'm starting to see why so many people are aggravated with you...

Oh yes, because school and parents are so incredibly stressful. Escaping all that by taking the money from others just due to your situation is the easy way out. You're bound to get far that way.

...not. Honestly, anytime someone here tries to give you advise, you continue on with your horrible plan. I don't see why you're bothering telling us about your problem if you're not willing to at least consider the fact that your plan is, to be blunt, rather thoughtless and immature. You're 19 years old, you're not 9. Stop carrying over this helpless attitude that your life sucks and that you don't know how to fix it.

You're not interested in doing what we suggested, so why continue trying to seek our help? It's getting incredibly irritating and so many people have tried to help you but you continue the "I'm right, lulllzzzz" attitude you have, despite knowing nothing about what you're getting into. Because what you're planning to do is something that's going to ruin your life and you're going to regret it.

Maybe that's what you need. A slap of reality because you clearly don't have enough of that in your life. Grow up.

Sam.Is.Dead. August 28th, 2009 5:32 AM

So, I have been dating this girl for ten months and last night she just left me, didnt give me a reason why, it hurts alot, idk what to do at all, whether i should move on, wait to see if she wants me back in a few days. Its probably the hardest thing im going through right now and not even all the things that make me smile on a daily basis have been able to, not music, not my friends, not anything... All i can think about is, all the memories i made with her and how great my life was til after reading one text message it all went spiralling down to hell, any advice is thankful, i just wanna know what to do.

Shiny August 28th, 2009 5:59 AM

Wait three days, then question her about it.

Hyper Chibi Absol August 28th, 2009 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patchisou Yutohru (Post 5045033)
I'm starting to see why so many people are aggravated with you...

Oh yes, because school and parents are so incredibly stressful. Escaping all that by taking the money from others just due to your situation is the easy way out. You're bound to get far that way.

...not. Honestly, anytime someone here tries to give you advise, you continue on with your horrible plan. I don't see why you're bothering telling us about your problem if you're not willing to at least consider the fact that your plan is, to be blunt, rather thoughtless and immature. You're 19 years old, you're not 9. Stop carrying over this helpless attitude that your life sucks and that you don't know how to fix it.

You're not interested in doing what we suggested, so why continue trying to seek our help? It's getting incredibly irritating and so many people have tried to help you but you continue the "I'm right, lulllzzzz" attitude you have, despite knowing nothing about what you're getting into. Because what you're planning to do is something that's going to ruin your life and you're going to regret it.

Maybe that's what you need. A slap of reality because you clearly don't have enough of that in your life. Grow up.

You don't know what it's like to feel trapped in one spot with no way out, against your will. You don't know my parents. My dad used to beat me while my mom made me felt so guilty, I cried. THAT's how they parent, not just me, but my little sister and my little brother.

I'll do what people suggest me as long as it leaves my parents out of the question. If my parents found out ANYTHING I'm going through, I might as well be dead... That's pretty much all it comes down to because if I'm put on meds again, I will kill myself... I can't go through that again...

Immuture? You may think so because we're two different people. You don't know what I go through on a daily basis.

Look... I need answers from people who don't resort to posting rude comments and thinking I'm acting like a child when I'm trying to make a choice between life and death.

poopnoodle August 28th, 2009 10:43 AM

Quote:

So, I have been dating this girl for ten months and last night she just left me, didnt give me a reason why, it hurts alot, idk what to do at all, whether i should move on, wait to see if she wants me back in a few days. Its probably the hardest thing im going through right now and not even all the things that make me smile on a daily basis have been able to, not music, not my friends, not anything... All i can think about is, all the memories i made with her and how great my life was til after reading one text message it all went spiralling down to hell, any advice is thankful, i just wanna know what to do.
Text message? Move on, she's clearly not worth the anguish. There are plenty of Magikarp splashing around in the ocean.

Mika August 28th, 2009 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam.Is.Dead. (Post 5045514)
So, I have been dating this girl for ten months and last night she just left me, didnt give me a reason why, it hurts alot, idk what to do at all, whether i should move on, wait to see if she wants me back in a few days. Its probably the hardest thing im going through right now and not even all the things that make me smile on a daily basis have been able to, not music, not my friends, not anything... All i can think about is, all the memories i made with her and how great my life was til after reading one text message it all went spiralling down to hell, any advice is thankful, i just wanna know what to do.

She broke up with you via text message? ;___; that's horrible.... First off. *huggles* Second off, I'd give it a few days to sorta blow over [the 3 days idea was good] but if she blows you off for trying to talk to her again, you're just going to have to try, as best you can, to just take steps forward. Time won't heal your wounds totally but it'll get easier as the days keep on going. Maybe talk to your best buddies about it too? It's always okay to talk about your feelings. ;--;

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 5046217)
You don't know what it's like to feel trapped in one spot with no way out, against your will. You don't know my parents. My dad used to beat me while my mom made me felt so guilty, I cried. THAT's how they parent, not just me, but my little sister and my little brother.

>>; Hun you know my opinions on alot of this but you aren't the only person to be beaten and you aren't the only one with a horrible childhood. Using it as an excuse is just going to give more people ammunition to go after you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 5046217)
I'll do what people suggest me as long as it leaves my parents out of the question. If my parents found out ANYTHING I'm going through, I might as well be dead... That's pretty much all it comes down to because if I'm put on meds again, I will kill myself... I can't go through that again...

On your parents finding out, you do realize that PokeCommunity is Google-able? Be careful how much you reveal on the internet, nothing's ever as private as it seems.

On the second part of it, I still think you should seek help from people who aren't 14 - 22 years old. :/ We can offer advice and a shoulder to cry on but we're really not the people you should be using to decide what you do from day to day. That's just not going to work in the long run, I've learned that the hard way. :<

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 5046217)
Immuture? You may think so because we're two different people. You don't know what I go through on a daily basis.

Do you know what he goes through on a daily basis? That comment, saying that he can't understand because he's not you is irrelevant. We can say we empathise with eachother but each person has to live their own lives and their lives and their drama and their issues are different from everyone elses in the whole wide world really. :< You can't look at Suzy and tell her to man up just because she's struggling with something you've 'overcome'. People have issues. Nobody's perfect.

Saying "MY PROBLEMS ARE WORSE THAN YOUR PROBLEMS" is redundant and it comes across as immature. We're not in nursery school hun, we're a bit too old for the constant one-up game. :< I know you're just trying to be heard, but you're acting like you have the worst problems in the whole wide world which makes people feel insignificant and offended because you're making them feel insignificant.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 5046217)
Look... I need answers from people who don't resort to posting rude comments and thinking I'm acting like a child when I'm trying to make a choice between life and death.

If that's how you feel, why'd you post something here again? I understand why you posted it elsewhere because you're dealing with a different crowd on that other site but you got slaughtered last time you posted this here. Again, average age of PokeCommunity is Highschool - College.

:< Not to mention anyone can read this with a couple google searches.

If you want "mature" people, you need to find people older than you because you're not getting anywhere here. Again. Highschool - College age. There's also the fact that you've repeatedly ignored people older than you who are simply trying to help you [Lightning for one] and who know more than you because they're older than you. If you don't want to listen and give an ear to all the advice you get and if you don't want to stress yourself out further, don't keep posting this stuff on PC. You have to be able to take the in good and the bad and at least respond respectfully when people give you advice, even if you don't agree with it. When you respond so negatively to everything constructive people say, it makes them angry and it makes people respond in harsher ways.

Like I've told you before, take a step back from it and look for smaller steps to happiness instead of huge leaps. You're setting yourself up for misery and failure and not looking at the little glints of light I know are all around you. ;; I hate to see you tearing yourself so up by all of this but, again like I've said before, I'm not really qualified to help you.

Nick August 28th, 2009 11:59 AM

Try to actually read my post, reflect on it, then reply. Opposed to wanting to defend whatever I'm saying and make more excuses... because we all know how that's going to be. It'll end up with you getting nowhere.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 5046217)
You don't know what it's like to feel trapped in one spot with no way out, against your will. You don't know my parents. My dad used to beat me while my mom made me felt so guilty, I cried. THAT's how they parent, not just me, but my little sister and my little brother.

And... you don't know my parents. Who's to say that I haven't had a worse childhood than that? Lately, it has been improving dramatically, but when my dad feels that he doesn't have the money to support my brothers and I, he turns into a completely different person and there's no one around here that can help him get out of it. The only person who could would be my mother, who died. You're acting like you're the only one in the world who has a problem and putting that in your top priority at the current point in time. Granted deciding between going to college and not is a difficult choice, one that will affect the rest of your life, you'd think that when so many people in this community (especially Mika) have tried to help you, have tried to reason with you, have tried to give you options, that you'd realize that your only choice in life is not to move in with your boyfriend and live off of money that is ultimately given by other people. You're not a little girl anymore, you know. This choice alone should not have waited until after you graduated from high school. This is something you should have been thinking about all your life. It could very well be one of the most important decisions in somebody's life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 5046217)
I'll do what people suggest me as long as it leaves my parents out of the question. If my parents found out ANYTHING I'm going through, I might as well be dead... That's pretty much all it comes down to because if I'm put on meds again, I will kill myself... I can't go through that again...

You're resorting to suicide over one choice (out of so many others) in life and questioning me calling you immature? You're acting like your parents are never going to find out about whatever the choice you do make when they are. They're probably going to find out sooner rather than later, and most likely, they do know what's going on with you already. Parents aren't these stupid little things anymore that raise you until you're 18 and don't want anything to do with you. Clearly your parents care about you or they wouldn't be putting so much pressure on you. Regardless of what happened in your past, the past is the past and there is nothing that you can do to change it. You can sit there and think about how horrible of a childhood you had, or you can let it shape you. You can let it make you become a better person and say "Hey, I don't want to have kids and treat them like that. I want to be able to provide for them in a way my parents couldn't provide for me. I want to make sure that my children live happy childhoods and see that I care for them more than anything in the world."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 5046217)
Immature? You may think so because we're two different people. You don't know what I go through on a daily basis.

That right there is what makes you immature. Saying that nobody knows what you go through and acting like you have the worst possible life you could have when in fact you don't. You don't have the worst life you could have, and there are many many people out there who don't even have parents. There are people out there who don't have a privilege to go to college. After all, going to college is not at all a right. It's a privilege. If you don't want to take advantage of that privilege, so be it. The ultimate decision rests on your shoulders, however. The way I see it, the only thing stopping you from going to college is the fact that you don't want to do it because that's what your mother wants you to do. You're going to ruin your future if you do something as selfish such as that. There are colleges all around the world. Apply to one close to the ones you care about because that obviously seems important to you. But at the same time, ask yourself what you're going to lose if you don't decide to go to college. Think of all the open doors that would be shut closed right before you if you skip going to college. Not the mention how you're going to look at the decision in the long run. This is not a short term decision. Once you make a decision of going to college or not, your life changes completely. Regardless of the decision you make.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyper Chibi Absol (Post 5046217)
Look... I need answers from people who don't resort to posting rude comments and thinking I'm acting like a child when I'm trying to make a choice between life and death.

Hardly life and death. You're trying to make a choice between going to college and spending the rest of your life with your boyfriend. I'd hardly call that life and death; don't be so dramatic. Besides, you posted here pages ago. So many people have tried to help you in these pages, you turned down every single one of them with an excuse that came out of nowhere, and you expect people to smile about it? No. I was simply saying what so many other people were begging to say, but didn't have the heart to do so due to the fact that you were in such a problematic time in your life. But in reality, this is only such a bing as a problem as you're making it out to be. You're overdramatizing the situation, saying that if you do something, you're going to die, compared to if you do something else, your life won't be the same. You think school is hard, try living on your own. If you're not ready for moving onto higher education, what makes you think you're ready to live on your own? You think you can just move into his mothers house and expect her to treat you like royalty or something? I highly doubt she's that nice. Eventually, cases such as these always end up the same way. The one you're moving into draws the line when you do something to piss them off and they throw out an ultimatum. What would you do if you didn't have the ability to get a decent paying job when that ultimatum was finally given? Nothing. You would find someone else to take you in and do the same thing over again.

My point is. If you decide not to go to college just because you don't want your mother to think she's won, you're being very vain and very selfish. Sometimes, you have to "pull one for the team", so to speak. The team being the people who you want to spend the rest of your life with. The people you care about. The people who care about you. I assure you, you not going to college is going to be something that, to be frank, will ruin your life. And if you think childhood is hard... what makes you think adulthood is any easier? Adulthood is far harder than childhood, especially when you're living alone with a family. College is the transaction as far as I'm concerned between childhood and adulthood. It prepares you for what's behind getting that college degree. It prepares you to a little game known as life that we all have will be playing one day.

Clearly I'm not here to attack you or I wouldn't have wasted ten or so minutes out of my day to try to show you something as there's a difference between being rude and being honest.

poopnoodle August 28th, 2009 3:06 PM

Hyper Chibi Absol, it sounds to me like you came to this thread for pity instead of advice. Believe it or not, you're not the only facing obstacles. Your situation is pretty trivial compared to what many people endure on a daily basis. You should channel all the energy you're using to feel sorry for yourself towards those who are seriously suffering. Take a look at the issues in Darfur and Tanzania and compare your petty, easily resolved dilemma to their daily lives.

I'd love to help you, really. I just don't have a lot of compassion for someone who asks for help, receives advice, and turns it down with poor excuses and cheesy theatrics.

Charizard★ August 28th, 2009 3:10 PM

I know this isn't really a problem for you guys but I have a problem on knowing if a girl likes me? Any hints or something?

poopnoodle August 28th, 2009 3:17 PM

Quote:

I know this isn't really a problem for you guys but I have a problem on knowing if a girl likes me? Any hints or something?
Do you talk to this girl?

Charizard★ August 28th, 2009 3:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poopnoodle (Post 5047231)


Do you talk to this girl?

Yes, actually its two girls, I like both of them and yes I talk to them both and they talk to me lol.

HyPeRsHoCk August 28th, 2009 3:22 PM

Well, if they talk to you a lot and seem happy to be around you/talk to you. Then there's a good chance they like you. They don't necessarily need to "hit" on you. It all depends on the personality of the girl I suppose.

Charizard★ August 28th, 2009 3:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HyPeRsHoCk (Post 5047253)
Well, if they talk to you a lot and seem happy to be around you/talk to you. Then there's a good chance they like you. They don't necessarily need to "hit" on you. It all depends on the personality of the girl I suppose.

Well, the thing is I never had a GF before so i'm not sure, and I'm ugly T-T. I don't want to ruin the friendship by asking them out and them saying no.

poopnoodle August 28th, 2009 3:38 PM

Quote:

Yes, actually its two girls, I like both of them and yes I talk to them both and they talk to me lol.
Well, that's good...you've at least got a head start (I can't tell you how many of my friends have come to me about someone they don't even associate with).

Awkward glances are always reliable signs. The way they talk to you can be good signals, depending on their levels of confidence. Is she giggly and flirty, is she shy, is she aggressive? Does she try to be around you? Does she tease you? Those are all signs, but try not to get the wrong idea. Compare the way they act around other people to how they act towards you.

Try to figure out which one likes you, and if they both end up confessing their undying love for you ...there's your next problem. (Unless you're all ok with a three-way relationship o_0) In that case, spend more time with each of them and try to work out the pros and cons between them both.

Charizard★ August 28th, 2009 3:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poopnoodle (Post 5047347)


Well, that's good...you've at least got a head start (I can't tell you how many of my friends have come to me about someone they don't even associate with).

Awkward glances are always reliable signs. The way they talk to you can be good signals, depending on their levels of confidence. Is she giggly and flirty, is she shy, is she aggressive? Does she try to be around you? Does she tease you? Those are all signs, but try not to get the wrong idea. Compare the way they act around other people to how they act towards you.

Try to figure out which one likes you, and if they both end up confessing their undying love for you ...there's your next problem. (Unless you're all ok with a three-way relationship o_0) In that case, spend more time with each of them and try to work out the pros and cons between them both.

She is not giggly but she stares at me a lot then looks away and smiles when I talk to her, and the to her one talks to me a LOT and toches all my things and likes grabbing things from me lol

poopnoodle August 28th, 2009 3:49 PM

Quote:

She is not giggly but she stares at me a lot then looks away and smiles when I talk to her, and the to her one talks to me a LOT and toches all my things and likes grabbing things from me lol
Sounds pretty flirtatious. Do either of them treat other (insert your gender here)s differently?

HyPeRsHoCk August 28th, 2009 3:51 PM

Well, you have to be careful with that. Because there are a lot girls that just like flirting and don't want a relationship. But there are those who are flirting because they want to. It's quite complicated. I never knew if my ex liked me or not for sure. I was pretty sure she did, but I couldn't be too sure just in case. So one day she just told me she liked me, so then I knew. So imo, if they like you that much, they will tell you.

Charizard★ August 28th, 2009 3:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poopnoodle (Post 5047418)


Sounds pretty flirtatious. Do either of them treat other (insert your gender here)s differently?

I'm a boy, and (lets call them girl 1 and 2) Girl 1 is shy but not to me sicne I known her for 2 yrs and she says no to 99% of people asking her out and girl number 2, I met last week and she does that to most boys but more to me lol.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HyPeRsHoCk (Post 5047433)
Well, you have to be careful with that. Because there are a lot girls that just like flirting and don't want a relationship. But there are those who are flirting because they want to. It's quite complicated. I never knew if my ex liked me or not for sure. I was pretty sure she did, but I couldn't be too sure just in case. So one day she just told me she liked me, so then I knew. So imo, if they like you that much, they will tell you.

Yea, I know T-T. But im ugly lol

poopnoodle August 28th, 2009 4:03 PM

Quote:

I'm a boy, and (lets call them girl 1 and 2) Girl 1 is shy but not to me sicne I known her for 2 yrs and she says no to 99% of people asking her out and girl number 2, I met last week and she does that to most boys but more to me lol.
Try to be understanding of Girl 1's situation...perhaps there's something more to her constant dismissal of boyfriend applications. Since you are close to her, maybe asking why she doesn't date will cause her to open up to you and see that you're someone she can count on emotionally, thus gradually building a stronger relationship between the both of you. Are you absolutely sure Girl 2 acts this way mostly to you? When she does, just keep your cool. Be self-confident, but don't try too hard. Girl 1 is probs your best bet, but you always have a chance with either.


Quote:

Well, you have to be careful with that. Because there are a lot girls that just like flirting and don't want a relationship. But there are those who are flirting because they want to. It's quite complicated. I never knew if my ex liked me or not for sure. I was pretty sure she did, but I couldn't be too sure just in case. So one day she just told me she liked me, so then I knew. So imo, if they like you that much, they will tell you.
Um, I disagree. Girls are generally more self-conscious than guys...it all depend on the individual's level of self-confidence.

Shiny August 28th, 2009 4:07 PM

It doesn't matter if you're considered "ugly", if either girl is interested in you, they'll overlook this "ugliness".

HyPeRsHoCk August 28th, 2009 4:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poopnoodle (Post 5047503)


Try to be understanding of Girl 1's situation...perhaps there's something more to her constant dismissal of boyfriend applications. Since you are close to her, maybe asking why she doesn't date will cause her to open up to you and see that you're someone she can count on emotionally, thus gradually building a stronger relationship between the both of you. Are you absolutely sure Girl 2 acts this way mostly to you? When she does, just keep your cool. Be self-confident, but don't try too hard. Girl 1 is probs your best bet, but you always have a chance with either.




Um, I disagree. Girls are generally more self-conscious than guys...it all depend on the individual's level of self-confidence.


Yeah, you're probably right. I have really low self-confidence lol. So she probably realized she had to tell me for anything to happen. Which she did.


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