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I suffered through middle school with friends that were awful to me and I'd recommend you sort your situation out before it all comes rushing back to you in high school and you need counselling ._.; |
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Well. OK, here's my problem. I'm stuck at my parents house for another 2 years because my mom won't let me leave the house without going to college and I'm 19.
My original plan was to leave the house after we left to Florida to visit my grandparents. Then after the trip, I'd take a bus and move in with my boyfriend. But I couldn't do that because my mom found out and guilt tripped me into not going and doing that. She says I'm only thinking of myself if I leave. But I told her that I'm old enough to make my own decisions. She just said that I was making a stupid mistake. So by listening to her, I feel miserable because I won't be able to live with him for two more years... So my question is.... Should I follow my heart and be happy? Or should I listen to my mom and be miserable? I don't really want to go to college. I don't see the point because I'm gonna live off diability. My dreams as a spriter are never gonna come true because I can't leave this damn country. If I do, my boyfriend will never have a way of earning money again because no one'll hire him because he has an illness. Knowing that... What should I do? |
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Yeah... I just don't know how I can tell her though. It's the same fear I had when I didn't want her finding out in the first place because I think she'd yell at me and never let me talk to my boyfriend again. She and dad yell alot whenever my siblings and I (very rarely) do anything wrong. I guess it's safe to say that I'm somewhat scared of my parents. Possibly why this is, is because of the way I was punished as a child. I feel like I'm chained to this house. I know the only way to break those chains is to leave, but I don't know if I can... |
I think you're being very selfish, to be frank. You intend to live off disability payments when you effectively elope, correct? If you've any sort of a conscience you'll go to college and get some skills that'll get you a decent job so you're not living off taxpayers' money. :I
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I have to say you were quite flippant after I poured the experience out to you hoping I could help ._.; Hyper Chibi Absol, how can you justify living on disability? I fume when people live off benefits when they could work - I am assuming you're perfectly capable of it, from your story. I'm a full-time working taxpayer and lose over 10% of my wages every month to the tax man. =/ I don't think you're being very realistic with your plans in life, either. If you two break up, where does that leave you? You have to think about these things. And your mother is only trying to persuade you to go to college because she cares about your future, even if you think she's being unreasonable at times. (sorry for all the edits) |
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I'm just stuck in a rut because I know everyday, he's closer to dying, but I have no idea when... It's scary because I think that, what if he isn't as healthy as I thought he was and gets worse to the point when he's on his death bed and I'm stuck in another state. I'd lose it if that happened.... |
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1. Being a spriter will not require you to move to Japan. Did you know that there are some video games made OUTSIDE of Japan? To be honest, the industry is booming moreso in the US than it is over there, so... you know... I think you're already in the right place.
2. If you don't go to college/university and get a degree in art, you'll never be hired as a game artist unless you have one hell of a portfolio which... you probably don't if you aren't heading onto post-secondary education for art. Just working in MS Paint on your own for 8 years isn't enough. Even if you're only working in something specific like spriting, you'll likely be required to have a very wide background in art to get hired by a game developer as a spriter. That said, your mom likely doesn't think you're responsible enough to move out on your own and considering you don't even seem to have made much research on your career choice, I'm inclined to agree with her. But if you're adamant... Do your research. Figure out exactly where you're going, what you're doing when you get there, and what your long term and short term goals are. Look into the cost of living in the area, figure out what income you and your bf will have if you live together, and figure out how you're going to obtain the funds for that. (Living off disability, if you don't need to, is horrible btw--get a job if you can, seriously. :|) If possible, sit down with your family AND your boyfriend and discuss options, what's going to happen, and what your plan is. Your mom is probably just worried about you and doesn't want you to run off and get in over your head. Leaving home is a BIG DEAL and if you aren't ready for it and don't take it seriously, you can rack up some serious debt. But if you learn the facts and go out of your way to make sure everything will go smoothly--and communicate all of this to your mom, she'll probably be more comfortable with it. You are old enough to make these decisions for yourself but it doesn't really sound like you're mature enough and that's the big thing here. Personal question, I know, but what are *you* collecting disability for? Why can you not go get a job now but if your boyfriend weren't an issue, it'd be okay to pack up and leave for Japan to do spriting? :/ That sounds a hell of a lot more stressful and debilitating than, say, working retail for a bit. |
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Name off a list of good companies then, please. Quote:
Which is another reason why it was only a dream job because as far as other forms of art goes, I'm only good at sketching and using colored pencils. I suck at painting (I have shaky hands), and I never used Photoshop before. Quote:
She doesn't want me to move out because she knows that I planned on living off disability money. If I had other talents, lets say, fixing up cars and I liked to do that, I would get a job for that but I don't. All I am is an artist from a very small town. Quote:
I have done research. It was required to graduate from HighSchool. The orginal plan was to live at his mom's house. He gets $1000 a month. Heh. Sitting down with all of them? There's a problem seeing as my boyfriend lives in a different state than me. Quote:
I am ready. I'm sick of being treated as a child. And to be honest, my boyfriend is too. He told me, he hates the way I'm treated unfairly in my house. Communication is very hard for me knowing MY illness. Quote:
My disabilities are Asperger Syndrome, ADHD, and an Anxiety Disorder. He can't leave the US. But before I met him, I planned on going to college for however long I needed to and then move to Japan. |
Having both ADD and GAD as well as a raft of other mental illnesses (BPD, GID, etc) I'm going to put this too you very bluntly; because I feel like you need to hear it ~ and having a general understanding of much of what goes on as a result of these ailments means you really need to take it on board. If you live off disability, and don't work, you will become isolated. And what happens when you become a shut-in? You will sink into depression. And it won't be just any bad day depression; it's going to be the most debilitating, soul destroying, reality altering, sinkhole of HELL that you can imagine. Multiplied by 10. I mean this more seriously than you can possibly get your head around. You will want to *die* because the thoughts that run rampant inside your head will tell you that you've reached rock bottom; that you'll never be anything; anyone - you'll cut off contact with any friends you do have and you'll get more and more alone and more and more depressed. The spiral will continue downward until you can't possibly imagine it getting any worse ~ and then it WILL because you'll self-sabotage. Why? This depression is all you will know; it's all you'll be able to relate to and you'll need more and more.
What you have are social, behavioral, adjustment disorders. You don't fix those by going on disability and hiding from the world; by eating up the tax money that COULD be going into fixing medical and living conditions for people who need it. No. You can't fix what's wrong with you; just like I can't fix what's wrong with me. But you can model your life around lifestyle pattern changes that will make you a better adjusted person; a socially fit and healthy state of mind that will make you cherish waking up in the morning and that will mean each day you seek out things that make you feel GOOD instead of feeding the depression. At best; right now? You're an introvert. You get self satisfaction and "power" from yourself; from being alone. You've already said that; you love writing and art and spriting; these are the sorts of activites that introverts cherish because you get to spend time on your own. But while a healthy human mind can flourish under introvert regime; yours is *not* healthy. Just like mine is *not* healthy. Just like anybody with any of the raft of behavior or adjustment disorders minds are *not* healthy. Take take the path of least resistance and it will lead you places darker and more terrible than you can possibly fathom. To make it work; to grab life by the balls and make it yours? You *NEED* (yes, NEED) to become an extrovert. You need to realign yourself so that the presence of others will empower you; will make you feel good about yourself. You need to immerse yourself in a social career; like retail or sales or customer support ~ the more you're around people in person? The Better! Is McDonalds a glamorous job? No. Is it a future? Not in and of itself; but it can lead you into proper retail; sales; imbue you with the techniques and philosophy to rediscover the extrovert inside yourself. It doesn't devalue you as a human being to work with people. It doesn't make you a failure to seek a career in sales, consulting; anything with people around you every day. Will you be a billionaire? Probably not. Will you lead a healthy; fulfilling life? Well that's up to you. Go to College. Get a job. Redesign yourself, and discover who you really can be. Because you deserve it. |
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edit: this is even something you could tell your mother, btw. Find out what community colleges are in the area of your bf and see what their art department requirements are. If she knows you're not just moving to bum around and do nothing, but you also have plans for when you get there, she's going to be more supportive. Quote:
Remember... a dream job doesn't have to be unobtainable, but it's also not the first or only job you can do. Most people have to work hard to get to their preferred job and career... and unless you're an underachiever and working at McDonald's is your number one choice, you're always gonna have to just suck up and deal with a crappy job at first while you build a network of contacts and work experience. Quote:
I'm not trying to be so negative here but it really just sounds like you were talking to your bf over msn one night and decided "hey i wanna move in with you" "k :D". Like... how are you gonna get there, what are you gonna bring, what are you doing when you get there, etc. Is he the ONLY reason you wanna move out? If it's more trying to get away from home, have some patience and try talking to your mom about moving out into an apartment or sublet within the area and see how you manage on your own close to home before moving out of state borders. Quote:
Listen, it REALLY sounds like you don't know what you're doing. :/ |
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Becoming extrovert is the reason I have to move out. Staying here will just continue to make me anti-social. I don't have many friends, I rarely leave the house because I don't have any reason to, my friends NEVER visit me. I can't stand this house because it's noisy (I can't stand loud noises), I'm treated like ****, My younger siblings always take my things without my permission (namely my laptop). I hate it here. Not only does the things in this house annoy me, but it also keeps me away from the person I love. I can't hug him or kiss him because he's miles away... Quote:
No. She isn't. I told her that Illinois isn't the only state that has colleges and she still didn't agree on me going. She knows I'm adult. She KNOWS I can go to other colleges. She just chooses to keep me here as her 'little girl' forever... Quote:
I'm not mooching off of them. If my parents would actually let me do something for once, his family would welcome me with open arms. They WANT to meet me. His mom, his half-brother. Ehh... His step-dad is indifferent... James told me, he'd pay the rent for the both of us. The only thing I'll have to pay for is food. The rest of the money is for anything in the future (say kids maybe. Yes, we have been talking about kids). No. We've been dating for quite a while now. Since March. He suggested that I move out because the very first plan I had to actually be able to spend time with him was thworted because of a stupid scalloping trip... I asked my mom if I could stay at my grandma's house alone with him, but she said 'no'. And I'm an adult here. She shouldn't be bossing me around anymore but she is.... The way she believes in raising children is the 'My way or the High-way'. To be honest, I'd rather be kicked-out rather than staying here, chained to the wall. In a way, I'm being held hostage now that I think about it. I can LEGALLY move out, but my parents just won't let me. |
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You have no hope. Therefore you think you can't make dreams come true. Therefore you're just going to life like a depressed parasite for the rest of your life. Therefore you're going to die and rot a worthless human being. And you think that's going to make you happy. It's not, and you know it's not. Shut the hell up, stop asking these kind of retarded questions on a Pokémon forum, and think about how you're going to make your own future. If you don't like the place you're in right now, get a job, and fight for whatever the hell you need to get you out of whatever you want to get out, because I doubt your "boyfriend"'s parents are going to let some random selfish hobo leech off someone else's resources. Or are you just going to be one of those people who think that they will be able to use their "disabilities" as a shield to society? Are you going to be one of those people, and expect everything to fall from the sky just because you can? Wake up. Get up. It's your choice. |
Well, start out slow.
If you've known him for a while and his family is receptive--just start out asking your mom if you could go spend a week or so out there with his family. See if his parents will talk to your mom and make sure you open as many modes of communication as you can. She'll be more comfortable if she knows who you'd be staying with. This is also a great safeguard in case it turns out that you two aren't as compatible irl as you thought--long distance relationships can work but sometimes they just work better long distance and when you're in close quarters for extended periods, it turns out you argue or have habits that just aggravate the other to no end, etc. Alternatively, see if he'd be able to come down there (or do both, spend some time there, he comes to you, etc.). I know you're eager to just get out of your house and start spending the rest of your life with this guy but there's really no rush. Take it slow so it's less of a shock for everyone and just... you know, take baby steps. Make a list of possible options that all LEAD toward you getting out of the house and (if you prefer) moving in with him, but try a bunch of different things. Like maybe do a year of school at home and then start looking into transfering to a school closer to your bf, or move out and work for a bit to save up for college out of state... just make sure you have a lot of different options (all eventually leading to the same thing) that you can sit down and discuss with your mom. Show her that you're responsible enough to take charge of your life and make your own decisions but ALSO make sure you let her know that her opinion is important and you want her to support whatever choices you make. I'm sure she really is just trying to do what's best for you. If you take charge and show her that you can be responsible and mature about all this, then eventually she'll come around, I'm sure. |
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[Move Out of Home] Now, to me this seems like a flawed course of action. Why do you say that, Sarah; you ask? Because there are no steps for positive personal improvement! There's nothing. It's like the underpants gnomes and their "????. PROFIT". You have nothing there to incite change; you're hinging that moving away from the only people at the moment who keep you from crawling entirely into your own shell will be a positive move. It won't be; it won't help you at all. It'll make matters *worse* because when your beau does pass away his family won't be able to support you and you'll be out on your own; and you'll sink so much further into being the introvert that poisons you from inside. I'm not saying you shouldn't follow your dreams ~ and far be it for me to tell you that you should consider your feelings for this boy; I *know* what love feels like and I know what you're going through. But how can you give yourself totally and entirely to another human being; when you can't even fix yourself? Would you give the person you love a knowingly defective Christmas Gift? You can't be this way, petal. You need to consider something like..↓ [Live with Boyfriend] ↓ [Get on Disability] ↓ [Improvement to Situation] [Find a Job] ↓ [Go to College] ↓ [Build Social networks] ↓ [Visit your boyfriend; for a *holiday*] ↓ [Showcase your art; your sprites; your writing] [ to your social networks; build yourself up ] ↓ [Move Out of Home] ↓ [Pursue Dreams] You'll notice there's no single "improvement to situation" step in the chart this time; because change isn't a one shot answer. There's no easy way out; there's no short cut home. You need to build on the relationships you have with your family, with your friends; with your boyfriend ~ but you need to forge new ones as well! You can't stagnate like a pond; you need to flow like a river and always be in search of new opportunities and pathways. You need a job. You need to go to College; if not for the degree than for the social development it encourages. You need to go to parties with your peers; and get wasted on the town and do things for attention - these are all extrovert qualities and things you need to build upon as a foundation for your life. It's only what you make it. |
Hey guys I have a little problem:
I recently transferred to a new school in DC. I am going to be doing pre med there. Now I am completely fine with that, but I first applied for this intense 7-year program in which after I would get my MD. My aunt doesn't know I didn't get into the 7 year program and she has been telling everyone. I don't know how to tell her I am not in it. |
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What stops me is the fact that I don't really have a reason to go outside. I'm not exactly a fan of the sun unless we go swimming because I burn VERY easily. I'm not going outside just to get burned. The only time I usually go outside is for taking out the trash, going with a walk with my little sister and her friends (very VERY rarely do they ask me. Since I'm like... 4 years older than all of them, I feel out of place), or for vacation. Quote:
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If I go to college, it'll just be the same as school before. People judge me for what I look like, not for who I am, therefore think I'm a random freak going to the school. I had to go through being bullied from when I started school till highschool. I had to have a social worker during grade school because I kept myself from others because no one liked me. For years, I edured it and never really told anyone what I went through, not even my social worker, until I became a wall to those comments. But I just expect it being worse in college. Especially the being wasted part because I can be taken advantage of when drunk. (Even though I'll never even THINK of touching alcohol.) |
pro-tip: college is nothing like high school. By the time they get there, people stop caring about pointless things like popularity and bullying is much lessened, seriously. You can just go join a few clubs based on what you like (gaming, anime, etc.) and make friends with like interests.
._. If you start out assuming everything will be crap from the get-go (ie, "I won't go outside because I'll only get sunburnt" or "if I go to college it'll be as crappy as high school") then of COURSE it will be because you'll go in expecting it to be. |
Let's address this with some comparison for you; and I know it'll sound self centred but I think you need to know a little background about *me* so you can fully appreciate how much I empathize with your situation. You say you're short, you look a different age, and you think you're unattractive? You're only unattractive because you lack confidence; confidence and the way you carry yourself is the *single* most attractive thing about a person! Me? I'm 5'1; a little chubby (tho I used to be a lot chubby) and I was *born as a boy*. Yes, that's right. If you want to compare feeling ugly, feeling out of place; how about you consider how it feels to go through your teenage years feeling like you're the wrong GENDER. I know what it's like to feel ugly; I understand how it feels to have no confidence and to just let yourself go (why bother, right?) and to have no self esteem. I don't want to make this a whizzing contest but I need you to understand I know how you feel! And yes. Yes I do know what love feels like when you can't even love yourself. I know it better than you'd dare imagine. But love is hollow and meaningless if you can't love yourself, first! You're using his affection to fill a hole inside you; when the love he lavishes on you should be something you *cherish*, not something you *need*. Codependency sounds so workable and beautiful on the surface; but it's not! When you need someone's love to live, you begin to resent them when they can't deliver everything you need at all times.
But I digress. You don't need to "go outside" to meet people; plenty of work (in fact, most sales work) is indoors in the glowing warmth of fluorescent lightbulbs. Go and do a resume drop first thing in the morning; UV rays are worse between 11am and 1pm ~ so hit the stores and businesses early and you can be home in time for lunch. You talk about wanting to change the way people see you and that's wonderful; the desire is there within you ~ but your ideas on the methods are all askew. You need to build yourself up inside, before you can enact change on the world around you. Don't you understand? You can't make people see you differently until you see yourself differently. And on differently; College is so different to High School! In High School people resent each other and the environment of the campus because they *have* to be there. In College, people *want* to be there and they want to be there to not only take upon a degree but also to build the final stages of their social development. You need this; because right now you're letting your social muscles atrophy and one day it's going to be too late~ I can't help you anymore than what I've already said and I know it feels daunting to change; but it happens a little at a time and it only does so if you want it~ But if I can do it? So can you. |
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I'm completely appalled that you ignored the entire first half of apple.SHAMPOO's post =(
You're asking for help and yet rebuffing everything you don't want to hear. |
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I want help.
I don't want help. Am I eloquent or what? Edit: Quote:
1. What do those disabilities stop you from doing/achieving? 2. What does your boyfriend think about your goal of working as a Spiriter in Japan? & Is his desires compatible with your goal? |
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It really doesn't pay for everything you think it's going to pay for. It might pay for your rent, but are you 100% positive that you're going to be able to buy food? Pay utilities? What about entertainment costs? What about clothing? As someone who also gets disability money, I can tell you that it really doesn't go very far in the grand scheme of things and I have friends that live on, quite literally, to the dime and they have next to absolutely nothing >> You sure you're going to be able to shop at food stores like Aldis or other off brand stores and wonder if you're going to have enough cash for next week's meal? It's not nearly as simple as you think it is and if you start adding in other fees ontop of that, I guarantee you that you'll see just how not-far it's going. On top of that, I understand you have these particular disabilities but are you sure you're even going to GET disability money? Aspies, yes, I can see some potential money from that if it's severe enough but Anxiety and ADHD are almost never severe enough to qualify. Just how much do you think you're getting anyways? Second, you think you're the only person that hates college? I hate to be rude or blunt but I honestly loath college [at least the one I'm currently attending] with absolutely every fiber of my body. Why? I don't feel accepted there and I don't feel like I belong. Do I still attend that school? Absolutely. Do I hate a good portion of it? Absolutely. Have I quit? Absolutely not. There are things in life that we have to do regardless of whether or not we really want to do them. We cannot expect the world to spin for us, we must spin the world to obtain what we wish to obtain. It's going to suck, it's going to be miserable and you're going to have to work hard. You do realize if you go to college, you can live on campus right? This gets you out of the house and yet you're still appeasing your mother. Find a college you like. It sounds retarded but if you go do some college visits, you can find a college you can put up with. Go check out the federally mandated Students with Disabilities area. The one at my university is the only thing really keeping me going, the people are amazing and they make sure that I have all my accommodations. You can, with a disability, sometimes qualify for Voc Rehab which will help you find a job like on campus and help you find work after you graduate [because you're protected under the laws that make it so you have to be given and will give you ways to get a job you're comfortable with that doesn't aggravate your disorders. :3 Instead of freaking out and switching over to disability monthly stipends, why don't you try looking at this flipside of your disability needs? There's alllll sorts of stuff out there to get you a job you're comfortable with or at least one you can tolerate. D: Please don't just give up and give into this disability stipend; it really isn't as much money as you think it is. [I know the spelling errors in this are atrocious is because it's 2:30am. XD; sorry] |
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I already applied for it. In real life, I can barely talk because it almost scares me to. I don't like being in crouds (a small group of people of people I know very well is fine but I still won't say much) Quote:
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ADHD doesn't really effect me as much as it did as a child other than the fact that I have a hard time focusing on things. The Anxiety Disorder just causes me to become increadably cautious. Whenever something goes wrong, I get very scared. In the case when I feel that I've done something wrong, I give myself self-punishment (no, not cutting). I'm trying to change this thing about me for James because I had to tell him about it and he said if I don't change that, we can't be together... I understand that. It's just sometimes when I feel like I've done something wrong, I HAVE to be punished... Quote:
He and I just want to live together, so yes. |
Then throw a tantrum and refuse to go to class until you get what you want. :D If the money comes in cheques, call up the bank and make sure you have an account with them that your mom can't access and keep the money for yourself. If your mom threatens to kick you out... success! move in with your bf and live happily ever after.
Anyway, since it was kinda missed... @Akio123: it sucks but you're gonna just have to suck it up and tell her. It's going to be awkward no matter WHEN you do but it'll be infinitely less worse if you do it sooner rather than later because later on you have the added stress of explaining why you didn't say right away. :( |
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I already have my own bank account. :3 Quote:
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May I advise that you actually meet this guy face to face before moving in with him permanently? ._.;
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I SHOULD be able to see him after the trip to Florida, which by the way, I'm leaving tomarrow for a week or so. Scalloping for the win. Grandma said that there was a record high down there. Last year there was barely any since the water was so damn hot. o-o |
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But I will. >.>; Quote:
They can't come true because to put it bluntly, we live in a ****** world... Worthless? I already felt worthless until James came along. Being with him gives my life meaning. That I was actually needed. Quote:
Making others happy especially the ones I care about makes me happy, so yes.[/QUOTE] Quote:
Who're you to tell me to shut up? My boyfriend's parents WANT me to live there. They sure as hell care about me more than my parents. The only time my parents pay attention to me is when they wait me to do something of their interest. Quote:
I'd rather be with people I know and love, rather in a place where people judge you for what you look like and you DON'T know them. I don't like being around a lot of people unless I know them. |
People are not being rude, they're being realistic. =(
I think you've made your mind up pretty strongly about what you want to do, and given that you're ignoring or discarding everything that everyone suggests that you don't want to hear, and not even thanking them for contributions, I don't think there's much else for you in this thread and you might want to go and see professional counselling instead. |
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I have been in couselling for school since grade school. I never wanted to leave until now. This is because James made me realize something. I've been taking **** that I don't have to all my life. He's sick of it, just as much as me because he hates the way I'm treated. But since my mom just can't let go of me, I'm stuck here. ....Man does it suck to be the first born.... |
While I agree that it's... not that great to post in a thread like this and then make excuse after excuse for some aspects of advice and ignore the rest but waka's post really was rude, instead of merely being blunt. :(
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Well I'm done with this saga of the thread.
Carry on living through life with excuses for everything and "woe is me", then. |
The only thing I really need to know is the fact that should I somehow convince mom that I should live with James or just stay here and go to a college that my mom wants me to go to while she takes my disability money away.
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HCA, this is the last thing I'll say. I urge you to make an honest person of yourself with an honest living. Go to college and get some skills (you don't have to do traditional art - just do something that will lead you to a career) that will support you and your boyfriend. Stop making petty excuses for yourself and make something of your life - you'll get nowhere if you just run off and live off the taxpayer's money. Take your relationship with your boyfriend slowly. You have never met, yet by the sounds of things you want to elope given the first opportunity. Long-distance relationships are difficult, but you can't rush things. I know this; I'm in a long-distance relationship myself, and while it's only something like 10% of the distance between you and your boyfriend it's actually on a bigger scale given the sizes of our respective countries. Like you I fell for my partner before meeting them, but we had to meet before we made anything official. How else would we know if we could even stand each other!? I'm sure this will be the case with you and your boyfriend, but you need to meet in person first before you even start dating properly, let alone run off to live with him. Just take things slowly for the moment, and try not to upset the status quo too much. Please, listen to the advice people have given (whether or not they've been 'rude'), and don't simply take the coward's way out by living off taxpayers' money. |
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He told me that even though it really doesn't seem like it, there's a chance I may not like him. If that happens, he'll pay for my plane ticket back to Illinois. I am listening. How is it the cowards way out? In the case I can't get a job even with the college degree, I'm stuck. With un-employment rate growing at an alarming rate, chances are, I'm not gonna get the job no matter how hard I work on art. If anything, disability would be smart. |
I give up. Go ahead and make nothing of your life and mooch off the taxpayer forever. You aren't going to listen to any of us, so well done, you've succeeded in bringing attention to your 'plight'.
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If it's your life, do something about it. Quote:
Like I said before, Disability is the best part of college for me. I hate my classes. I hate my professors. I love my student resources. They've helped me so much and I'm a much stronger person than I was. They helped keep me up when the going was tough. :x Yeah, there's parts of life that suck but do you think it's going to be much better in Florida? You're not looking at pure sunshine and rainbows. Quote:
See... hun, I think what you want us to do is to give you a huge hug and tell you that your mother is a witch and that she treats you poorly and how you should just go fly right down to Florida but, looking back on all that's been said, it's obvious that more people than just myself have tried to tell you it's not practical. :x I know you want to be together near eachother and I know that it's hard to be in a long distance relationship but you have to be patient and bide your time. I really don't want to see you get down there with no money, suddenly no boyfriend and no way home. D: that'd just be horrible. I guess in conclusion, look over what people have said and think about it. Think about the positive aspects of college instead of all the bad and think about whether or not you're willing to stand up to your mother period. It's great to complain I do it all the time but if you're not willing to stand up and at least try and fight for yourself, you're just going to frustrate people who are trying to help ;; |
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Okay look. First of all, you need to get over the past. Time doesn't wait for anyone, and living in the past is certainly not healthy. You need to lift your head up and look towards the future. You don't need to feel like you have to conform to a society that believes beauty only exists on the cover of a magazine. You are a wonderful and beautiful person, you need to have faith in that, and NO, not just because your boyfriend tells you so. Because you ARE, and that is the pure truth dear. Quote:
You think your kids will honestly be happy? Having a mother with no job, no education, no self-esteem, and hardly able to support herself, much less her family? Having kids in your current state is asking for life-term depression. Also, love is not always forever. How do you know you and your boyfriend won't fight about something? How do you know things won't get ugly after a while? What will you do if you two break up? Don't tell me you never will break up, you don't know that. Just because this is your first boyfriend doesn't mean it will last, and honestly you never truly know someone until you live with them. |
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I've always let people walk all over me before. I'm not a very assertive person and I probably never will be. I'm guessing it's because I fear about what others may think of my oppinion because I always think of the worst. Sometimes I just can't help it... Quote:
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My love has a timer that ticks faster because unlike most couples, I have a boyfriend whose life is going to be significantly shortened because he had to draw the short straw at birth and had to be born withh Wilson's... In other words, I have a limited time with him before I lose him forever... Quote:
And having no job to spend more time at home would be good because that means more time of togetherness with my family. Quote:
If it makes him happier to be away from me, I'll be happy. I love him so much that I want him to be the happiest he can be. Quote:
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Maybe this is a problem, maybe it isn't. But I felt this was the best place to post my 'problem', a gripe if you will.
Recently I just finished watching a television series called Kings. At first I was skeptical because TV these days has not been able to hold my attention. Full of horrendous 'reality' TV, TV shows with more twists and turns than there really needs to be in a show, and then just plain ol'horribly written, horribly cast and horribly acted TV shows. Kings was different. Despite having so many religious tones, for instance Spoiler:
The cast is perfect for all their roles. The writing is excellent, some of the best I've seen for a television series. Normally I groan when I watch TV because you can always tell the difference between television and movie written scripts, but not here. It feels like a movie quality script and the acting is top notch, some of the best I've also seen for TV. But enough of proclaiming how much I love this show and why you should watch it. My gripe is this, after finishing the first season recently on hulu.com (which I suggest you guys go give a chance if you have the mind to) that the series was canceled. It was like a blow you weren't expecting. It really sucks that after all this time in the horrible TV these days, that I finally manage to find a gem worth watching and they've already canceled it. A side note, please don't respond with all these shows I should watch that are 'awesome'! because you'll be wasting your time and breath as I won't give any of that a second thought. I'm peculiar about TV and I rarely watch any besides sports or movies. I'm just here to gripe and complain and if you want, by all means just ignore it. |
Any excuse to move away from the previous topic is welcome.
幕之内 一歩, I had the same problem with a series that was televised in Canada, and was released on Virgin On Demand over here - jPod, based on a novel by my favourite author. There was a massive cliffhanger at the end ("I think she's in a coma") and then the series was cancelled; no further episodes to be made for a second season. I'm also very picky about my TV viewing, and this was pretty darn irritating, because it was the brain child of a man I adore and admire. I know, there is far too much trash like Big Brother and other reality TV shows. English TV is full of reality TV - there's one on right now about people having plastic surgery, and following their stories. Boring and shallow; well done, England. Pop Idol, Britain's Got Talent, Strictly Come Dancing? Seriously? I am lucky that there is one channel on the Freeview and satellite services we have that plays decent things I enjoy (quiz shows and comedians mostly, as well as Top Gear), and some hidden gems like Stephen Fry's Kingdom and Channel 4's The IT Crowd. Other than that, you have to wonder how certain things stay on air and other things get cancelled even though they're thought-provoking, enjoyable and worthwhile. =/ I hope I understood your point. ^^ |
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Many many times, but it was years ago and it was on Serebii forums instead of here. I do know your personality, but now you seem much more complicated and hard headed than you used to be. Why the crap would I care about looks? I don't care what you look like, looks don't ever matter. My point being, everyone is great on the inside, even if they display a foul personality. That's just influence from their surroundings, such as their peers, no one is truly bad. You are a great person, you just need to learn to live a little, it'll be for the better. Well, if James does become even more sick, you can always take off from whatever job you are at, or take days off of school to visit with him. By society's terms you won't have an education if you don't go to college. You'll end up saying 'ding fries ready' for the rest of your life if you don't get a degree of some sort ; at the very least Associate's. More time with your family? You can always spend time with your family. If you have a job you can always take the shift during the day when your child/ren are at school, then at night you can come home and spend time with them. Counting on James's parents for money, or the government's money to support your family is such a foul and pitiful thing to do. It's shameful to count on someone else to support you, when you can very well get a job to do so yourself. Off topic a bit, don't you also think it's way too early in your relationship to be planning children? You've not even met the guy in person, and you've only known him for 5 months.. I dunno, but in my eyes that's much too early to plan something so huge. Chibi, you are missing the point. The point is, you need to get a degree to prove your education, and you need to get a job. If you truly love James you'll do anything you can to support him for the rest of his days. Do you seriously think James is going to be proud to say his girlfriend is degree-less AND job-less? I wouldn't be, that's for certain. I'd be embarrassed to admit such a thing. Just because you stay by his side does not by any means show dedication. True dedication is a hard-working girlfriend who is willing to bust her ass to get the money you two need to live a good life, instead of feeding off the government when that money could be going towards someone who, persay, is in a wheelchair and isn't mobile enough to get the money themselves. That is truly sad, really. |
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Wait... What? What was you username there? Sorry... I have bad memory, plus I've been going to Serebii for four years now (I still go there but the place has gotten very dull to me for some reason, but I just can't seem to leave because of my friends there) Quote:
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I do NOT want James to go with me not being able to get atleast one last 'good bye'. That would kill me if that happened... Quote:
I don't think so. Planning doesn't mean we have to have 'em right away. Quote:
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Then once you move you can quit your part time job and start a new one closer to James, and/or transfer to a college near his home. You are really making this much more complicated than it actually is.. |
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I know I legally don't have to but I feel like I almost have to, to avoid being yelled at. Yelling scares me more than you know. In fact, knowing my dad whenever he yells, I get so scared that I have to hide upstairs. Mom doesn't yell as loud but she can scare me too. |
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you 2 do know chibi chan said no one liners
anyway,so im british(you know)and most people here and on serebii are american based,so,what happens when i go to sleep???i miss like 10 pages of important games so i have to go read them and then post and on a day like this where serebii isnt working for me,i have to read the pages,post and hope that noone beats me and makes my post make no sense,also i find at school they ban stuff like youtube on computers you use but keep it on their computer...that drives me crazy:( |
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I'm an IT admin at work, and I sure don't like people wasting company time with leisure surfing. :T Not only is it a waste of time, videos and other streaming media use a lot of network bandwidth and means people trying to do legitimate work get stalled by you. Teachers and IT technicians have free access to them for technical and teaching purposes. Not to spite you. |
I have a new problem that I should have posted right when it happened. Okay, so as there have been many posts about girl problems I have one. Back in sixth grade (now in seventh) there was this girl whom I sort of like. We are actually pretty good friends but the summer break ruins everything like an axe to a log. Earlier that year she kept staring at me and when I looked back at her she flashed me either a nervous smile or an "I like you" grin. So now if this thing between me and her is still going entering the new school year, what should I do? I sort of casually work things with girls into conversations with my mom (can't trust my dad without him flipping out) but I am kinda scared that she's gonna blow up. What I am hoping for is that she is gonna ask me to a movie or something so I can tell my mom without being nervous. Should I still hope for this or just tell my mom. I am thinking about making our relationship so much stronger by talking to her more often, and if we sit by each other in class helping her with her work and making sure one arm is down so she can try to touch it. Is my plan okay? School starts in four days so I need help quick please. Thanks!
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Oh, middle school crushes. :) When school begins, for about a week I would try the subtle flirting you guys were doing months before. If you're that interested, do some discreet investigating on whether or not she's single.
Try not to be creepy... Quote:
Just look for the signs, and work up the courage to start talking to her and gradually building a relationship. Don't be nervous about facing rejection...if she ends up not having mutual feelings, be understanding, and don't let it affect you negatively. (Remember, girls dig confidence!) Maybe you have something to work on, or maybe her dad doesn't let her date, or something. You'll probably develop another crush soon after, anyways. Good luck! |
Cousin Moving in for a Year
Ok, so my cousins from India is moving in with us for a year for College. From the start we didn't get along very well. He would always comment about how America is pathetic and how India was better (I didn't really care about that) But then he started making fun of my friends and how my friends brother died in Iraq. Then I got pissed, I didn't want to say anything so I let it go (I wanted to beat the crap out of him). But then he got on my computer and ruined it by giving it a virus! (I gave him 1 last strike) And when he commented racialy abotu Blacks an Mexicans I got mad and cussed him out! (Because most of my friends are Black and Mexican). I don't want to be fighting everyday I get home for my whole Freshman year. Any help please?
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Percentage%- Oooh arrogant anti-Americans. I've got a friend from France who used to incessantly belittle US culture and politics, but it just took a little rational confrontation to settle that. This guy seems like a real bully, though. The worst thing to do is react like he's affecting you. When he says insolent things, I suggest you and your friends act like you're not offended. People who verbally attack out of spite are usually just looking for a reaction, so if you ignore his comments, perhaps he'll give it up.
If I were you, I'd hide my computer and other important possessions he could sabotage, and avoid leaving them obtainable at all times. Always be reasonable, try your best to control your emotions. But avoid confrontation, because irrational people are impossible to reason with. (Side note: If you haven't seen him in a long time, perhaps he's changed. A little glimmer of optimism for you.) Good luck :) |
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Why not take it easy. Obviously he sucks. Personally, words can be quite powerful. Like so: Him: "Ugh. You Americans are-" You: "Save that thought, because frankly I don't give a damn about what you think of this country or it's people, or anywhere else and it's people for that matter. No country is freaking perfect, and you fail to realize that because you too ignorant and stupid for your own good. And you better keep your Douchebaggery to yourself, or I'll see of some way to make you live on the street instead of here. Got it? Good. Piss off." Communication is an option, Poopnoodle's advice is one, too. See what works. I hate to know that someone out there has to deal with this kind of crap. |
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choose the best option you can get out of a list of options you can do. and should your dad REALLY get mad at you for telling that douche to stfu with his Racism, Anti-American(ism?), etc. etc.? No. He shouldn't. |
Hey guys, I have a little problem. My new university is so huge and I have yet to make any friends. The school is in DC and I'm from New York, so I am used to huge places, but I still feel a little over whelmed and nervous.
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Hi guys... If you read previous posts of mine in this thread, you should know the situation I was in...
Those who don't, I was wanting to go live with my boyfriend but was refused to and shoved to college. Well, there in lies my problem... I did some typing of what I felt there yesterday. This was orginally meant for my dA journal, but it explains everything. If anyone can help me, please do so... *hugs* Quote:
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You seem to have your mind set on living with your boyfriend, not getting a job, and living off of disability and other people's money judging how you respond to other people suggesting that you get out and do something with your life. What you do is entirely up to you, but you aren't going to get far in life living off of monthly checks of a set amount. If you decide to do that, I surely hope that you're not thinking of bringing a child into this world because he or she is going to have an incredibly difficult life ahead of them. You need to set your priorities straight. If you want to be, basically, a willing mooch, so be it. But if you actually want to make a living, get the notion that you can live off of disability out of your head, listen to your mother, and go to college. Make a living. Otherwise, ten years from now, you're going to regret not taking the initiative.
Don't want to do what I and others suggested for whatever? Sucks for you. Enjoy not having a life. If you think college is hard, just imagine how life would be if you go on, skip college, go on to living off of other people's money. You'll get so far. A two bedroom home in a horrible neighborhood. I can see it all so clearly. I don't care either way, it's your life. If you want to screw it up and throw away the past 18 years of your life, so be it. |
So back in May, I started dating this girl. She lives about 2 hours away and we met at a summer camp. I totally fell in love with her. I absolutely love her personality. And believe it or not, I think she might be "one". So she broke up with me about a month ago. She said it was only because she couldn't handle having a bf with all the problems in her life atm. She also said she wanted to get back together in the future. I've asked her a few more times over the weeks if she really wanted to get back together, and she said yes. (In the future). So...I'm still madly in love with this girl. So what should I do? Just keep talking to her as a "friend", wait, and hopefully she'll want to get back together?....
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The only thing you can do is be supportive and wait it out. However, if she's postponing the relationship for too long and you start to question whether or not she really wants to be with you, I'd start socializing with other (insert sexual preference here...because for all I know you could have the hots for men too)s...because you probably don't deserve to just be seen as another responsibility if you've stayed long enough for her to decide whether or not to commit. I'd say save yourself some heartbreak and terminate the relationship now, but since you've known her for awhile and seem to have really strong feelings for her, that would probably hurt the both of you.
Just keep seeing her and perhaps she'll come around. |
Alright I'll try. And I really hope so. There isn't a day where I'm not depressed and not thinking about her...I even had a dream about her two nights ago. :/
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We're still debating on children... I know James said before when he was talking to a friend that maybe we should have kids so he can leave something of himself behind so I can remember him. But he also doesn't want to bring new life into this horrible world... I'd rather live a happy life then die of suicide for too much stress from school/parents/ect. |
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Oh yes, because school and parents are so incredibly stressful. Escaping all that by taking the money from others just due to your situation is the easy way out. You're bound to get far that way. ...not. Honestly, anytime someone here tries to give you advise, you continue on with your horrible plan. I don't see why you're bothering telling us about your problem if you're not willing to at least consider the fact that your plan is, to be blunt, rather thoughtless and immature. You're 19 years old, you're not 9. Stop carrying over this helpless attitude that your life sucks and that you don't know how to fix it. You're not interested in doing what we suggested, so why continue trying to seek our help? It's getting incredibly irritating and so many people have tried to help you but you continue the "I'm right, lulllzzzz" attitude you have, despite knowing nothing about what you're getting into. Because what you're planning to do is something that's going to ruin your life and you're going to regret it. Maybe that's what you need. A slap of reality because you clearly don't have enough of that in your life. Grow up. |
So, I have been dating this girl for ten months and last night she just left me, didnt give me a reason why, it hurts alot, idk what to do at all, whether i should move on, wait to see if she wants me back in a few days. Its probably the hardest thing im going through right now and not even all the things that make me smile on a daily basis have been able to, not music, not my friends, not anything... All i can think about is, all the memories i made with her and how great my life was til after reading one text message it all went spiralling down to hell, any advice is thankful, i just wanna know what to do.
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Wait three days, then question her about it.
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I'll do what people suggest me as long as it leaves my parents out of the question. If my parents found out ANYTHING I'm going through, I might as well be dead... That's pretty much all it comes down to because if I'm put on meds again, I will kill myself... I can't go through that again... Immuture? You may think so because we're two different people. You don't know what I go through on a daily basis. Look... I need answers from people who don't resort to posting rude comments and thinking I'm acting like a child when I'm trying to make a choice between life and death. |
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On the second part of it, I still think you should seek help from people who aren't 14 - 22 years old. :/ We can offer advice and a shoulder to cry on but we're really not the people you should be using to decide what you do from day to day. That's just not going to work in the long run, I've learned that the hard way. :< Quote:
Saying "MY PROBLEMS ARE WORSE THAN YOUR PROBLEMS" is redundant and it comes across as immature. We're not in nursery school hun, we're a bit too old for the constant one-up game. :< I know you're just trying to be heard, but you're acting like you have the worst problems in the whole wide world which makes people feel insignificant and offended because you're making them feel insignificant. Quote:
:< Not to mention anyone can read this with a couple google searches. If you want "mature" people, you need to find people older than you because you're not getting anywhere here. Again. Highschool - College age. There's also the fact that you've repeatedly ignored people older than you who are simply trying to help you [Lightning for one] and who know more than you because they're older than you. If you don't want to listen and give an ear to all the advice you get and if you don't want to stress yourself out further, don't keep posting this stuff on PC. You have to be able to take the in good and the bad and at least respond respectfully when people give you advice, even if you don't agree with it. When you respond so negatively to everything constructive people say, it makes them angry and it makes people respond in harsher ways. Like I've told you before, take a step back from it and look for smaller steps to happiness instead of huge leaps. You're setting yourself up for misery and failure and not looking at the little glints of light I know are all around you. ;; I hate to see you tearing yourself so up by all of this but, again like I've said before, I'm not really qualified to help you. |
Try to actually read my post, reflect on it, then reply. Opposed to wanting to defend whatever I'm saying and make more excuses... because we all know how that's going to be. It'll end up with you getting nowhere.
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My point is. If you decide not to go to college just because you don't want your mother to think she's won, you're being very vain and very selfish. Sometimes, you have to "pull one for the team", so to speak. The team being the people who you want to spend the rest of your life with. The people you care about. The people who care about you. I assure you, you not going to college is going to be something that, to be frank, will ruin your life. And if you think childhood is hard... what makes you think adulthood is any easier? Adulthood is far harder than childhood, especially when you're living alone with a family. College is the transaction as far as I'm concerned between childhood and adulthood. It prepares you for what's behind getting that college degree. It prepares you to a little game known as life that we all have will be playing one day. Clearly I'm not here to attack you or I wouldn't have wasted ten or so minutes out of my day to try to show you something as there's a difference between being rude and being honest. |
Hyper Chibi Absol, it sounds to me like you came to this thread for pity instead of advice. Believe it or not, you're not the only facing obstacles. Your situation is pretty trivial compared to what many people endure on a daily basis. You should channel all the energy you're using to feel sorry for yourself towards those who are seriously suffering. Take a look at the issues in Darfur and Tanzania and compare your petty, easily resolved dilemma to their daily lives.
I'd love to help you, really. I just don't have a lot of compassion for someone who asks for help, receives advice, and turns it down with poor excuses and cheesy theatrics. |
I know this isn't really a problem for you guys but I have a problem on knowing if a girl likes me? Any hints or something?
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Well, if they talk to you a lot and seem happy to be around you/talk to you. Then there's a good chance they like you. They don't necessarily need to "hit" on you. It all depends on the personality of the girl I suppose.
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Awkward glances are always reliable signs. The way they talk to you can be good signals, depending on their levels of confidence. Is she giggly and flirty, is she shy, is she aggressive? Does she try to be around you? Does she tease you? Those are all signs, but try not to get the wrong idea. Compare the way they act around other people to how they act towards you. Try to figure out which one likes you, and if they both end up confessing their undying love for you ...there's your next problem. (Unless you're all ok with a three-way relationship o_0) In that case, spend more time with each of them and try to work out the pros and cons between them both. |
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Well, you have to be careful with that. Because there are a lot girls that just like flirting and don't want a relationship. But there are those who are flirting because they want to. It's quite complicated. I never knew if my ex liked me or not for sure. I was pretty sure she did, but I couldn't be too sure just in case. So one day she just told me she liked me, so then I knew. So imo, if they like you that much, they will tell you.
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It doesn't matter if you're considered "ugly", if either girl is interested in you, they'll overlook this "ugliness".
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Yeah, you're probably right. I have really low self-confidence lol. So she probably realized she had to tell me for anything to happen. Which she did. |
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