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Geometric-sama March 29th, 2005 4:51 AM

I'm happy to do full analysis of any fic but it takes a long time so I'll move through any requests quite slowly, one chapter at a time for multi-chapter fics... PM me if you want me to do it. Neko, I'm working on the first chapter of HMW atm, hope you don't mind nitpicky grammatical analysis~

Casual Billy March 29th, 2005 9:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IceKing
Join the club :( I think I should redo the first chapter because it might make readers assume my fic is a regular trainer fic, when in fact all the hints to it being a regular trainer was actually making fun of the Anime, but then I relized people actually do it because they have no original ideas

Yeah, I think I'm just going to go back to Serebii. I've got like 4 chapters and no reviews for three of them. Eh.

EDIT: I couldn't help it. This is probably gonna be the last chapter I post here, but I had to post it anyway. Chapter's 5 & 6 of my fic were amongst my favorites. If you haven't been reading it so far, just pick up there. There's a quote in my sig. Depending on the level of interest after this chapter, I will/will not continue to post. Well, cya!

Strawberry Delcatty March 29th, 2005 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jedi_Amara
Neko, I'm working on the first chapter of HMW atm, hope you don't mind nitpicky grammatical analysis~

Not at all. Heh heh. Meow.

Geometric-sama March 29th, 2005 7:01 PM

You've gotta be patient with reviews~ I posted about 5 of my fics on Serebii and none of them got any reviews, the threads just got pruned... but you can't just give up after one go. Keep writing and eventually you'll get reviewed~

Flatulus March 29th, 2005 7:39 PM

Jedi_Amara: If you were talking to me when you said you'd be happy to review any fic, then I must tell you something: I do not intend to have someone reveiw my fic just because they were asked to do so and have no real interest in it, that is until I get round to fixing up the more major mistakes in my fic chapters.
Thanks for the offer, but you just have to look at the review I got from Frostweaver to see why it isn't a good idea to waste your time on it till it's fixed up a bit… unless of course you are able to see the good things about a fic past grammar and spelling mistakes.

Strawberry Delcatty March 29th, 2005 9:30 PM

Quote:

Myumiri Nyanyaruto!

Upcoming Pokemon fan fiction, I summon you-nya!

My name's Nyaomi, and I'm going to be a Pokemon trainer!

However, it won't be easy hiding my true identity as witch since I end up making weird things happen and my Meowth ears pop up at the worst times, but I hope everything will go well. Try to cheer me own-nya!

Follow me in my crazy adventures in a Nekomajo Asunya original, "Feline Symphony"! Look foward to it-nya!

Do-re-meow! Meow?

A little trailer for my cutesy fic. Meow.
And yes, it'll involve a lot of meowing. Those who talk to me on AIM/AOL shouldn't have any problems with it. Others... well, I won't promise that you won't get sick from the somewhat insane cuteness. :P

Miss Reyna March 30th, 2005 3:37 AM

Hey, I have two Fanfics. Can someone read them and comment them. I know they have gammer and spelling problems but anyways still look at them. There story plots are good, I guess.

One of them is called Ojos(Eyes). This is my newest one. It about a pokemon Psyhic and she going uncover a big thing but rigth now I am leading up to that.

The other one is The Vulpix Girl. It about a vulpix who was turn in to a human girl. Now she trying to find out how turn back into a vulpix.

Please read and comment my Fanfics

Apprentice March 30th, 2005 6:45 PM

Re: FanFiction Lounge
 
I've started a fanfic called "Pokemon: The Chronicles".

Team Rocket's leader, Giovanni, has decided to enslave the Legendary Birds, Mew, and a newly discovered Pokemon, Milo, the pre-evolution stage of Mew to help him conquer the world. Will Ken be able to defend the Legendary Pokemon and his title as Pokemon Master?

Frostweaver March 30th, 2005 7:55 PM

@ Worlds Away

Quote:

Equipped with a protective suit to guard him against any possible threat present during the dimensional transfer and a robotic companion who...
A slight grammatical error... right now it's saying how Jack is equipped with the robotic companion, when you want to say that he's accompanied by one... adding "accompanied by" after the "and," and explain how its folding capacity is one way to easily fix this problem. Another is to talk about its folding capacity first before (not after) you mention how Jack is "equipped" with it. Otherwise you'll confuse your audience.

Quote:

Encased in a white metal sphere, no one could see the look of horror on Jack’s face as he started to hear all manner of humming noises and began to feel as if he was being pulled in all directions at once...

“I always imagined hearing that at a different time but, here goes.”
Contradicting emotions...? The horror seems to have disappeared suddenly within one paragraph, without ever explaining why...

Quote:

“What the heck is that? Are you throwing some kind of bomb at me?”
Tone sounds really awkward here... if someone is throwing a potential bomb at you, it's not so humane to answer with this quote... as if it doesn't matter at all. Possible that he is not afraid due to the protective suite, but

-chapter one got so many chances to be expanded on, especially on the feelings of the new world Jack is in. Right now it's a bit... feeling rushed?

-now throughout both chapter one and chapter two, there's plenty of places that deserve more story breaks (or the "* * * "s that you used)... it's not very easy to understand what happened at times, and it'll help greatly if you insert them more often at the appropriate places

-i'm not sure about the robot being mistaken as a Pokemon from the sound of things... narrator when speaking in the perspective of both TR and Ash's party talked of it as a "robot" yet the party think of it as a new Pokemon? o_O;

-don't use midi files as they're disgusting =D wav or mp3 or just something else but midi

-physics notes: the leg bending part will actually increase the damage received, but it forces Onix to take recoil damage because now you got negative velocity from RAA. So that really doesn't neglect the damage but actually amplify it at the cost of Onix doing recoil damage. (not related to the quality of fanfics, of course, but just want to point that out)

-not so realistic at all that Ash is rather "ok" when they left to chase the poachers and then talked about Caterpie... Pikachu is still with Team Rocket o.o; OOC for Ash there

-now I did listen to the music... and while they can be helpful, that doesn't mean you can ignore the tension and mood created by words. Sounds can assist you, but keep in mind that this is a *fanfic* meaning, it relies on words.

-the chapter titles can also use a bit of work... especially the ch.4 one. Titles really try to be compact, and not be lengthy

-right now the story is kind of plain... this idea has been done quite a few times already (but like Breezy said, no gameboys so yay). Still lacking in details in various parts, but details are generally ok. However, nothing is really outstanding... it's just plot followed by plot. Try to work on the more advanced parts of writing, such as trying to include various devices in order to strengthen your story.

Good Points
-scientific tone of 2345b

Focuses to Improve On
-character development of all other character pretty much (especially tone... they can be so OOC at times)
-insert more story breaks to help with readability
-insert more details

To improve your battle scene sequence, i'll strongly suggest you to read over the part of Iveechan's story regarding the Pokemon tournament... Hitmonchan vs. Poliwrath had an awesome battle scene which makes any other Pokemon writer worth envying about.

Title: 4/5
Grammar Basics: 9/10
Coherence/Readability: 9/10
Characterization: 14/20
Story Structure: 8/15
Tone/Atmosphere: 9/15
Diction: 14/20
Effort/Originality: 12/15
Lit. Device bonus: +0


Total: 75

Casual Billy March 30th, 2005 9:21 PM

Thank you for the review! I will definitely take this into account. I will try to improve upon subsequent chapters and maybe revise the chapters a bit. Thanks for the input.

EDIT:
Quote:

physics notes: the leg bending part will actually increase the damage received, but it forces Onix to take recoil damage because now you got negative velocity from RAA. So that really doesn't neglect the damage but actually amplify it at the cost of Onix doing recoil damage.
Oh, i think i either wrote it wrong or something 'cause it was supposed to portray that R.A.A.'s legs were moving at the same rate in the same direction as onyx's upward travelling body. Like, if someone punches you in the arm and you move in the same direction as the punch, it's less forceful than if you had stayed still I was trying to implement that kind of scenario. I'll fix it to make it more clear though.

Geometric-sama March 31st, 2005 5:32 AM

Goody, Fwosty dear is back to reviewing~

Frostweaver March 31st, 2005 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billy5772

EDIT:

Oh, i think i either wrote it wrong or something 'cause it was supposed to portray that R.A.A.'s legs were moving at the same rate in the same direction as onyx's upward travelling body. Like, if someone punches you in the arm and you move in the same direction as the punch, it's less forceful than if you had stayed still I was trying to implement that kind of scenario. I'll fix it to make it more clear though.

lol... well it's another prove that you need to be more clear in your diction. If you're pulling R.A.A's legs upward, then you're applying a force upward, which will results in you being pushed downward due to Newton's law... also, you're at the same time increasing your surface area, creating more air resistance to slow your travel upward, lowering your upward velocity ^_^

"Pulling your legs upward" and "an upward jump" has quite a bit of differences... lol

Wolf_Goddess March 31st, 2005 6:00 PM

Should I continue my story? I need help deciding! Sure, I said it was a one-shot, but I'm rethinking if it should be... I'm afraid the sequal won't be as good...

Anacortes April 1st, 2005 7:44 AM

I've had another idea for a story, but not sure if one is already enough. o.0

Strawberry Delcatty April 1st, 2005 11:07 AM

I'm gonna take a little break from fan fiction due to some recent happenings. See you guys soon.

Avegaille April 1st, 2005 8:16 PM

>Hmm.... is it a good idea to write a fic based on an prg you are playing? Since hte plaot is there and everything!

Frostweaver April 1st, 2005 9:30 PM

well... isn't that the definition of a fanfic- to write a fic based on something else? lol

Of course you can... that is what writing a fanfic is all about to begin with.

Lily April 2nd, 2005 9:30 AM

Not entirely based on, though, right? >_> As in copying the *exact* format of Pokemon. [May finds Prof. Birch surrounded by Poochyenas, Mudkip uses water gun, meets Ash, etc etc]

Flatulus April 3rd, 2005 1:40 AM

Chapter 7 of Destiny of Understanding is up, critism will be apriated so as to improve it when I get round to it.

Geometric-sama April 3rd, 2005 5:08 AM

Lily dear, that's not "based on", that's "ripoff" XD

IceKing April 3rd, 2005 3:08 PM

Unoriginal plots=BAAAD!

*shudders* I know some fics that are based off of Ruby Saphire plots are really good (like Legends of Hoeen) but most turn out to be horrible and unoriginal. If you want to do one make sure to give it lots of plot twists

I posted a new fanfic called Wanzewald Pokemon Contest which is a parody of the pokemon anime. Hopefully itll get more reviews then Whirl Island Quest

Frostweaver April 3rd, 2005 3:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IceKing
Unoriginal plots=BAAAD!

That must be the most troubling thing to any reviewer... give the thumbs down for such a thing and you get insulted for being biased because you're marking on plot (which a reviewer should never do). Give it the thumbs up and you feel bad for giving a terribly-boring fanfic (because it feels like you've read it for the 3rd time already) a high mark... it's irritating x_x;

However, there's plenty of "game-plot" fanfics that are good... I'm not as worried about this type of fanfic in comparison to... *drumroll*

"Oh Ash let's go to ________ region! There's a new Pokemon tournament there"

The OT/New region fanfics >>; Somehow usually fanfics that use Brendan/Yuuki turns out pretty original, as if Brendan/Yuuki is some kind of gurantee for at least decent plots.

Geometric-sama April 3rd, 2005 3:36 PM

I started my new fic. It's *shudder* an episode script. XD About pantyhose. Misty's, to be precise.

Breezy April 3rd, 2005 7:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iceking
*shudders* I know some fics that are based off of Ruby Saphire plots are really good (like Legends of Hoeen) but most turn out to be horrible and unoriginal. If you want to do one make sure to give it lots of plot twists

Hehe, the bolded part is all me! ^^ Thank part of me for that fad of unoriginal Ru/Sa stories that flooded ff.net. >=D
Quote:

Originally Posted by frosty
Somehow usually fanfics that use Brendan/Yuuki turns out pretty original, as if Brendan/Yuuki is some kind of gurantee for at least decent plots.

That's because you can do anything with Brendan's character since he hasn't been shown in the anime before (not unless you count that cameo in the... 7th movie was it?). You can make him stupid or sweet and all that fun stuff. =D

Most of them have him fall in love with May way too early in fics though (stupid hoennshippers heh).

Frostweaver April 3rd, 2005 7:28 PM

just surprised that no one turned him into "Ash III" that's all... beause in GSC days Kenta/Yoshi got plenty of stories that made him "Ash II," and that was before the Pokemon Raikou Special came out. Brendan/Yuuki for some reason didn't the same path... it's kinda strange.

lol yes... we know that you're the most famous around Pokemon fanfics when it comes to Ru/Sa fics Breezy ;p

Avegaille April 3rd, 2005 7:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilyPichu
Not entirely based on, though, right? >_> As in copying the *exact* format of Pokemon. [May finds Prof. Birch surrounded by Poochyenas, Mudkip uses water gun, meets Ash, etc etc]

Don't worry, it's not like that..... but I'm having probelms with the personalities of my co-rpgers, so, I'm not going to continue it.......

>one is like, no description on his rpg at all, the other one is okay and the last one keeps adding new plots to it! XD

>and breezy, what are you doing here?

Frostweaver April 3rd, 2005 9:08 PM

meh... that's why I can't join RPG... just feels so... unfulfilled when everything is starting so nice and smoothly until suddenly someone comes by and suddenly every character is turned into some mindless, toneless, personality-less puppets of mass murder, and whatever junk like that... >>; I can't RP...


Either way, in look of a fellow experienced writer who got the time to perhaps beta-read and comment on my humble sucky ch.1 of some unknown fanfic of mine, anyone? Hopefully, it'll be done by Tuesday latest ^_^;

Breezy April 3rd, 2005 9:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pkmn Trainer Avegaille
>and breezy, what are you doing here?

What? You mean this *ISN'T* the unspoken forum that I will never mention here because I'm scared if I do (XP)?

Nah, I just drop in every now and then heh. Just for kicks. :)
Quote:

Originally Posted by frosty
just surprised that no one turned him into "Ash III" that's all... beause in GSC days Kenta/Yoshi got plenty of stories that made him "Ash II," and that was before the Pokemon Raikou Special came out. Brendan/Yuuki for some reason didn't the same path... it's kinda strange.

lol yes... we know that you're the most famous around Pokemon fanfics when it comes to Ru/Sa fics Breezy ;p

I'm glad he didn't heh. *remembers the old GSC days and shudders*

I wonder why though... You would think they would.

I still wonder if being known for that is a good thing. o.o Least I got a name lol. XP

Edit: I forgot why I was posting here heh. Anyways, I wrote this poem thing called "Tiny Paws" and I updated "Who Shot Brendan Birch?". Yay for me. :) I'd love you if you'd review. ;P

Aiya Quackform April 3rd, 2005 9:17 PM

Frosty, I'll do beta reading for you if you want.

Frostweaver April 4th, 2005 2:24 PM

Yay review for Big O III is finally done after all these time Blue requested for one... ^^;;;

*just doesn't feel right without annoucing that he's done a fanfic review in a Fanfic Lounge of some kind even if this one is totally different than the one back in good old Pokemon fanfiction*

Natsuki April 4th, 2005 3:41 PM

*pets frosty* =3 I have yet to finish my next chapter for my fic. @[email protected] It's nearly have done, woot! XD Oh yeah, Jorge's fic was very nice, it has lots of action and jazz like that. :3

~Kelsey

Morkula April 4th, 2005 5:25 PM

I just wanted to say that TGS is still alive, just haven't had much time to work on it lately. =/ I'm starting Chapter 5 now. ^^

Avegaille April 4th, 2005 8:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy
What? You mean this *ISN'T* the unspoken forum that I will never mention here because I'm scared if I do (XP)?

Nah, I just drop in every now and then heh. Just for kicks. :)

Yeah, jsut talking to you and my name here is bunnyp69! XD

Anyway, I'm having another problem with the revision of my fanfic.... do you think I should like, write the story plot on something and then try to make it into a chapter to make things easier?

Frostweaver April 4th, 2005 8:41 PM

Depends on how you want the fanfic to be done. Some people write by Stream of Consciousness Writing where they do almost absolutely zero planning at all on purpose. Some people likes to have the overall network of the plot figured out first, and then start writing and adding extra information along the way.

It's another strategy to decide rather you want to write the entire fanfic then start posting, or if you want to write one chapter and then post it immediately so you can immediate feedbacks for improvement, and so on.

Seems that either way works for people, but most writers will have one way over the other. I personally realized that it's best for me to plan the framework and then start writing, and (from the past failured experiences) never post a chapter until I actually have the entire fanfic written out.

Avegaille April 4th, 2005 8:46 PM

^Hmm..... sounds like a good advice.... but I just type in a chapter for one day and then post it and see if people will review...... right nwo, I'm having writer's block, that is why I can't start on chapter 5, o_O;;;

Breezy April 4th, 2005 8:54 PM

Writer's block sucks monkey apples. :) Very hard for me to get out of it now n days...

Anyways, I try thinking up of the main points in the next chapter and try to write part of it down, and then afterward, connect those scenes. Kinda weird, but it works for me.

Or writing another story works (hence why I have seven million fics that need updating lol). If all else fails, force it. Fun stuff really. ^_^

Avegaille April 4th, 2005 9:04 PM

^what a funny thing to do, Breezy! XD

>I have other fan fics, and yet, I started out with titles, but it is sooo hard for me to try and write all of those chapterful stories! XD

>so, as for Pokemon fan fics, I'm having probelms with descriptions, such as locations, the sending in, sending out of pokemon and their attacks..... can anyone help me out?

>that's why in my fanfic, you'll rarely find battle scenes!

Geometric-sama April 4th, 2005 11:28 PM

Hoennshipping is evil. >_>

Fwosty, I can beta read too... Apparently my reading is slightly helpful...

And I'd better go work on that pantyhose thing. o_O Where on earth did I get that idea, anyway?

Pokemon AD Fan April 5th, 2005 1:38 AM

If anyone cares to read my FF? I'm not sure whether people finds my story lame or what? At least gimme some comments of yars! Or I'll feel so depressed that I failed for my first FF... Oh yah, It's called Back in time (it has nothin' related to Serebii!), rather, the 1st chap's about Green & Yellow... But I got a feeling that I ruined it... *cries*>_<;;

Avegaille April 5th, 2005 1:52 AM

^Well, if we can fidn it, then, we'll review it at least......

>I wish some people here would review mine at least.........

Geometric-sama April 5th, 2005 5:34 AM

We should have a "writers' club" and swap reviews. ^^

oni flygon April 5th, 2005 9:15 AM

I already made one at the clubs forum...>.>
http://pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=34484

Frostweaver April 5th, 2005 1:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bunnyp69

>I wish some people here would review mine at least.........

If you want, I can review the fanfic for you, that is as long as you're willing to live up to waiting for 3 weeks (ahahahaha *nervous laugh* I blame my 4 tests on Friday) on top of possibly harsh criticism =p

If you're still willing to, just PM me with a link to your story and I'll put you into the review quene ^^;;

Same for anyone else who's interested of course. I'll try to do 1 reviews every 2 days latest with the exception of this week due to the 4 tests.

IceKing April 5th, 2005 4:33 PM

Hey, I wanted to say that I'll start reviewing peoples fics since I know how annoying it is to post to thin air. PM me if you want a review! My reviews arent quite as good as Frostweavers or Jedi Amara's, but hey their still reviews

Breezy April 5th, 2005 5:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jedi_Amara
Hoennshipping is evil. >_>

XP So true! Whoever created it needs to . . . get rid of it somehow heh.

*whistles innocently*
Quote:

Originally Posted by bunnyp69
>I wish some people here would review mine at least.........

That's to me huh? >> I don't review at SPPf anymore heh, but I'll review here if you keep bugging me lol.

Frostweaver April 6th, 2005 7:37 PM

@ Memory, @ Accolade

(starting with Memory first)

-"just" is not a conjunction so it results in a run on sentence

-"Big Whitney" is a proper noun so the b needs to be capitalized too. You definitely implied "big" as part of the name there regardless if that is what you want in the first place.

-regarding the word "shopping," well the fact that it isn't exactly English until the very recent years really do not help... Shopping is acceptable as a noun, an adjective, and a very special verb. Shopping is a noun "I love shopping" which is obvious. It can be an adjective, which is also definite if we look carefully: "I went to the shopping mall yesterday." What kind of mall? A *shopping* mall. You can even use it as a verb with "Let's go shopping!" Now look at "Let's go to eat!" Shopping kinda replaced the verb of "to shop" too. No one says "to shop" anymore but "shopping" to replace "to shop." So yes in the context of the fanfic, shopping is used correctly.

-some of the double quotation marks are missing for some reason XD;

-now randomly generated numbers that aren't meant to do anything are NEVER a good sign... be vague about numbers, such as "few, several, many" and so on. I really don't see the significance of 37, with 1 alive and 36 dead... If you want to see how chaotic things can get over a number, refer to Macbeth and the 3 witches inside, and talk to an english teacher about it =p

-though I understand that the main focus of Accolade isn't on Jordan, but Jordan sounds quite abnormal about his father's return... his father finally returned to him after so many years, yet right now he doesn't sound angry or upset about it.

-another set of well written fanfics as always... what can I say but another excellent fanfic? Even though I personally feel offended by reading it and won't like it... But regardless of how much I'll love to disagree with the point that the theme of the story is trying to prove, it is well supported, with both fanfics helping each other's theme to develop, which is worth praising about.

-short point of plot: very high predictability o.O; very obvious that Katy is an imaginary friend from the beginning especially after mentioning that Jake's brother left for a journey, or how his mom now works for TR (whichever one comes first gave away the rest of the story). As for Accolade, when the father talked of how he infilitrated the HQ years ago, it got very predictable regarding his reason of visit... in an angst fanfic, mystery is your best friend which seems to be absent here. (i only took off 2 marks off originality for this, a -1 for each story making a -2... as this is kinda plot related... bored me since I predicted the endig at latest half way, so I didn't get the angsty feeling that the fanfic is definitely trying to produce, killing the mood greatly... however at the same time, maybe it's just me who's picking up the ending as "obvious" so I don't want to take marks off mood with this too. In the atmosphere department, I took off points in it due to Jordan's awkward response and his lack-of-emotion state in front of his father...)

Good Points
-story structure (excellent)
-implication/hidden story

Focuses to Improve On
-grammar (minor though)
-clarity (mainly with character names... lack of reinforcement regarding who is related with who)

Title: 5/5
Grammar Basics: 9/10
Coherence/Readability: 9/10
Characterization: 18/20
Story Structure: 15/15 *well done!*
Tone/Atmosphere: 13/15
Diction: 17/20
Effort/Originality: 13/15
Lit. Device bonus: +5 (juxtaposition and contrast +2, irony, theme/main idea +2)


Total: 93

Another would-have-been Standard of Excellence Fanfic but then only one awarded story for each author =p

However, this review isn't as accurate as always... because of that predictability thing I mentioned earlier... It did kill a lot of mood, tone or the expected angsty feelings for me making this story very... not so enjoyable for me, but seems too plot-related to take marks off... I am not certain rather taking off 2 is the right thing to do, or if it's too little for such a critical point... so yeah.

Geometric-sama April 7th, 2005 10:34 PM

Thanks for the review, Fwosty dear~ XD

I don't know what Jordan is thinking. Maybe he's in shock XD

Big is NOT PART OF THE NAME! It's a DESCRIPTION! I'm sure I already said that o_O

Dragonfree April 8th, 2005 5:59 PM

Just wondering... if somebody writes two Standard of Excellence fics, do they get to choose which one gets a spot in your sig or is the first one just stuck there forever?

Avegaille April 8th, 2005 6:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy
XP So true! Whoever created it needs to . . . get rid of it somehow heh.

*whistles innocently*

You were the ones who created Hoennshipping in the first place! o_O;;;

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy
That's to me huh? >> I don't review at SPPf anymore heh, but I'll review here if you keep bugging me lol.

Yeah, I will keep bugging you om msn if you don't! XD

---------

And for everyone else...... I'd appreciate reviews on my revised fic.... and chapter 5 is coming up! The fic is on my sig!

Breezy April 8th, 2005 6:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bunnyp69
Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy
XP So true! Whoever created it needs to . . . get rid of it somehow heh.

*whistles innocently*

You were the ones who created Hoennshipping in the first place! o_O;;;

Yeah well... whatcha gonna do about it if you hate the shipping you help kickstart it. I didn't create it btw, just the name cuz I didn't know the real name. ^_^;

And yes, I know you will big me heh.

Anyways, I updated the uber crappy, why-the-hell-is-it-ff-of-the-week, even-though-I-revised-it-it-still-sucks May I in which I wished I could of changed the title, but people know it by that.

Ja. Enjoy the major dialogue in that one. X3

Avegaille April 8th, 2005 7:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy
Yeah well... whatcha gonna do about it if you hate the shipping you help kickstart it. I didn't create it btw, just the name cuz I didn't know the real name. ^_^;

Well...... I don't know..... I'm not much into shippings, but since May is in it, I have to support it!

I like any shipping as long as May is in it and the shipping is good!

As for fics I don't get the last statement of yours!

Frostweaver April 8th, 2005 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragonfree
Just wondering... if somebody writes two Standard of Excellence fics, do they get to choose which one gets a spot in your sig or is the first one just stuck there forever?

Whichever one I think is better (regardless of which one scored a higher mark), or whichever one can convey more varieties of writing techniques. It can definitely be changed.

Strawberry Delcatty April 8th, 2005 11:37 PM

Here's the plot for the fic that I'm currently planning.
Quote:

A sad time has fallen over the world of Myumajo. The king's beloved wife has died, and he decided to ask a sorceress who was a close friend for help. Believing that this was an opportunity to finally reach her goal after years of failure, the sorceress told the king that she'll make a miracle potion.

After hearing the news, the sorceress's daughter, Nyaomi helped her mother gather the needed ingredients. However, most of them were hard to find. Some were to believe that didn't even exist anymore. Nevertheless, the sorceress and her daughter continued their search.

Just when all but the last few ingredients were found, unfortunately, something happened that made everything turn for the worse. Zindo, a young mischievious wizard apprentice, has made a dare with Nyaomi to enter into another world by the Crystal Portal at Sapphire Echo Canyon. Nyaomi accepted the challenge, but it resulted in her being stuck in a strange world known as the Johto region. What was even worse was that she couldn't go back to Myumajo after being in another world for a certain period of time. She eventually managed to adjust to the strange new world until the day before her trainer journey. Despite learning a lot about Pokemon (and being very familiar with one), Nyaomi didn't want to go because of her identity. Unfortunately, she ended up going against her wishes.

Early in her trainer journey, however, three of king's servants found Nyaomi and told her that they have opened the Crystal Portal. Nyaomi mentioned her goal to collect the Johto Gym Badges, and the servants told her that it'll be open for another year. Upon hearing the mention of the miracle potion from the servants, however, Nyaomi got an idea: finding some of the final ingredients of the miracle potion in the world she was currently in. Now she must complete her goals before time runs out.
Anything that needs to be improved?

Geometric-sama April 9th, 2005 5:09 AM

That sounds nice ^^ A nice fantasy type fic. The idea for my next fic is something like this:

Quote:

In the real world, Pokémon aren't known. Only a select few may partake of the goodness of Pokémon, and they can be identified by the small electronic devices they carry with them - PokéGear. (Yes, I know this sounds like Digimon, but bear with me.) These privileged few know that Pokémon exist, but they are never able to touch them - they see them, and their opponents from around the world, only by means of special video screens. Battles are carried out not by spoken instruction, but by using tokens - and these tokens can grant special powers to the Pokémon. When a trainer is in peril, her Pokémon must find a way to access the real world and save her - time is running out.
Comments?

Frostweaver April 9th, 2005 3:20 PM

to both reviews: when a *SUMMARY* is more than 4 lines long, it's some identication that you should probably redo the summary and shorten the length... it's not really serving its functions if the readers need to read that much in order to decide rather s/he is attracted to the story. Make it shorter and direct to the point.

Flatulus April 10th, 2005 12:36 AM

I've added another chapter to 'Destiny of Understanding' and next week I'll start revising the whole thing... In about 10 day the fic will be of a much higher quality and I'll start asking well known reviewers to review it.

I'd like to know whether anyone her is actually intrested in my posts here about my fic, or do you all think it is a waste of forum space?

Casual Billy April 10th, 2005 10:47 AM

Just here to announce that I will become a reviewer here too. I'm still gonna continue on with my fic but the updates will be less frequent (partially because I'm changing the plot a little bit from what I had before). So, there it is.

PS - I can just do that, right? I don't need some kind of license or anything do I?

Breezy April 10th, 2005 10:54 AM

I liked your fic Flatulus. 'Course, then again, I haven't read it in awhile. ^^;

If you need a license to review then I... I... [insert witty comment here since Breezy can't think of one].

But no, you can review on your own free will.

Geometric-sama April 10th, 2005 4:28 PM

We need a list of reviewers with the number of reviews each has on his/her waiting list so people know who to ask for reviews.

I have 3 on my list: 1. Frosty's beta read. 2. HMW. 3. WPC.

Aiya Quackform April 13th, 2005 4:35 PM

I'd like to be a reviewer, but right now I'm really busy. I'm also about to judge a competition at another forum. I'll probably start taking requests within a couple weeks. (I know I don't do much reviewing here, but I'm really not bad at it when I sit myself down and actually do it.)

Avegaille April 13th, 2005 6:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy
I liked your fic Flatulus. 'Course, then again, I haven't read it in awhile. ^^;

If you need a license to review then I... I... [insert witty comment here since Breezy can't think of one].

But no, you can review on your own free will.

Yeah... that's why I need to find your fics in this forum so that I can review them! XD

Flatulus April 13th, 2005 6:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy
I liked your fic Flatulus. 'Course, then again, I haven't read it in awhile. ^^;

Thanks, it's nice to know that there are people that like/liked my fic. The problem is that so few people reveiw it on any of the sites it's on, thus I don't have the feed back required to stop it going down a path done before (Really, I've read so few fan fics that I don't know whether my ideas are origional or not)

Why haven't you read it recently? I mean, if you liked it what could get in the way of you reading it?

Frostweaver April 13th, 2005 11:06 PM

yay PC is finally up... but then my tests keep coming -_-;

Either way, fanfic reviews should pick up again ^^;

Breezy April 14th, 2005 6:21 PM

Quote:

Why haven't you read it recently? I mean, if you liked it what could get in the way of you reading it?
'Cuz people produce stories at SPP like babies... Well, except for the nine month wait. ^^;

They get impatient too sometimes heh, so I really don't get much chance to check back on stories I've read.

Avegaille April 14th, 2005 6:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy
'Cuz people produce stories at SPP like babies... Well, except for the nine month wait. ^^;

They get impatient too sometimes heh, so I really don't get much chance to check back on stories I've read.

Hey! Why are you hiding from us, Breezy?

Turn on your msn! I want to chat with you!

And my fan fic, I jsut updated it!

IceKing April 15th, 2005 2:21 PM

Quote:

We need a list of reviewers with the number of reviews each has on his/her waiting list so people know who to ask for reviews.

I have 3 on my list: 1. Frosty's beta read. 2. HMW. 3. WPC.
Its probably kind of late to say this, but I will be a reviewer. My reviews will nto be as good as Frostweavers and Jedi Amaras, but their still reviews I suppose

Geometric-sama April 16th, 2005 5:43 AM

I posted five stories at SPPF and they all got pruned so I gave up ^^

Sorry I haven't been around/reviewing, I have university tests this week and I'm failing ;_;

Lily April 16th, 2005 8:13 AM

Sorry for the lack of reviews and all from a lacking mod - but i'm going to be absent, except my PMs, for a short while. My apologes. ^^;

Aiya Quackform April 16th, 2005 2:02 PM

I'll have a bit of free time, so I'll take on a review. Just one for now, please. Nothing over five chapters long, I love reviewing one-shots. Go ahead and post your request here, it's first come first serve.

Strawberry Delcatty April 16th, 2005 3:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aiya Quackform
I'll have a bit of free time, so I'll take on a review. Just one for now, please. Nothing over five chapters long, I love reviewing one-shots. Go ahead and post your request here, it's first come first serve.

In that case, would you mind checking out Hoenn Mirror World for me?

æ„›Forgotten Angelæ„› April 16th, 2005 7:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf_Goddess
Should I continue my story? I need help deciding! Sure, I said it was a one-shot, but I'm rethinking if it should be... I'm afraid the sequal won't be as good...

Of couse you should! You are an excellent author, I don't believe that the sequal wouldn't be as good, it would probably match up (if not exceed).
Anyway, I was thinking of starting a story based on two middle school friends who find out that they can become animals. It is sort of like my RP, Guardianship. I'm thinking of making them be transported to different worlds that need help, but it's hard to do that because people are trying to kill them. I haven't thought out all the details yet, so it might not be very interesting right now. Changed my mind... Do people like my fan fic total destruction one? I am sorta worried...*glances around at the people at PC*

Aiya Quackform April 16th, 2005 7:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nekomajo Asunya
In that case, would you mind checking out Hoenn Mirror World for me?

Okay, I'll get it done in a few days.

Strawberry Delcatty April 16th, 2005 8:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aiya Quackform
Okay, I'll get it done in a few days.

Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it. Meow.

Geometric-sama April 17th, 2005 10:14 PM

You're probably not going to see much of me this week either. Sorry. And sowwy, Fwosty dear, that I haven't read your thing yet ;_;

Frostweaver April 17th, 2005 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jedi_Amara
You're probably not going to see much of me this week either. Sorry. And sowwy, Fwosty dear, that I haven't read your thing yet ;_;

it's ok... i got like 5 weeks worth of reviews and I still can't start (exams come on and on) so it'll be like months away before i can start on the next chapter >>.;

As for those on my waiting list... it *may* be a VERY long wait... your review is completely at the teachers' mercy

Dragonfree April 18th, 2005 8:19 AM

Aww... now I'll have to wait even longer for a review of Chains... ;_; *has been dying to get a Frostweaver review for it ever since writing it*

Strawberry Delcatty April 18th, 2005 5:45 PM

http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=32773
Part 1 of Chapter 5 is up. I'll work on the other half ASAP. In the meantime, I'd like some reviews.

Breezy April 21st, 2005 5:58 PM

I'd love you if you'd read my yucky one-shot called "Stitches". ^.^ "The Utmost Loyalty" too if ya wish because I see no reason why it should be fanfic of the week. o.0

Meh heh.

Dragonfree April 21st, 2005 11:40 PM

I put up a sequel to Chains, Shackles, which hopefully gets the point across better.

Chibi Pika April 22nd, 2005 9:43 AM

I'd love it if anyone would check out my latest (although technically written a long time ago) one-shot, Acceptance. It's my shortest one, and, in my opinion, the deepest.

~Chibi~

Aiya Quackform April 22nd, 2005 5:08 PM

I have a one-shot that is also something of a preview to a final fantasy fic I'm writing. I'd really appreciate some feedback! It's called "Of Miasma and Myrrh."

http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=36756

Strawberry Delcatty April 24th, 2005 12:10 PM

Well, chapter 5 of Hoenn Mirror World is finished. Enjoy!

IceKing April 24th, 2005 5:08 PM

I need help with the title of a oneshot Im making

Its about the finals of the Silver Conference one year and how the two competitors are the most braindead idiots to walk the fields of Johto. Half of it is them preparing for the battle and the other half is the actual battle. The entire time you will wonder how the two competitors got so high up.

Im thinking of two titles

"The Fu**** up Finals"

I like this one, but Im afraid I might not be able to use it for obvious reasons. But the title will definetely draw readers.

"The most idiotic champion"

I like this one two, but it might turn off readers because they might think its a trainer fic.

What should I do?

Breezy April 24th, 2005 9:22 PM

"The Most Idiotic Champion" sounds like a parody so it might attract readers heh (in a way, it is kinda a parody on protaganist characters I guess). I'm all up for the f-ed up finals one. It's catchy. X3

Avegaille April 25th, 2005 3:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy
"The Most Idiotic Champion" sounds like a parody so it might attract readers heh (in a way, it is kinda a parody on protaganist characters I guess). I'm all up for the f-ed up finals one. It's catchy. X3

Wow... funny title.....

And i'm thinking of writting an OT Fan fic....... any ideas for a city to be set?

Geometric-sama April 25th, 2005 5:24 AM

Lily and I are doing a split fic. We need a title :P. The prologue is there already... I guess we'll work out a title in a bit, when we've discussed what we're going to put in the story XD

blueguy April 25th, 2005 8:31 AM

So... is this place just to chat about Fanfiction? *wonders* Well... *chat chatty chat!* lol... Hmm... Au revoir, people!

Geometric-sama April 25th, 2005 8:16 PM

Um, yeah, but we usually say more than "chatty chatty" o_O

Breezy April 26th, 2005 3:23 PM

The occassional "blah blah" slips in as well. :)

Anyways, updates on Who Shot Brendan Birch to whoever cares (which is no one, but meh. Worth a shot).

Geometric-sama April 26th, 2005 7:58 PM

Oh, and we also talk about "Fwosty dear" and frying pans XD

Lily April 26th, 2005 8:15 PM

...*hits JA with a rock*

No fwosty dear! >O!

Geometric-sama April 26th, 2005 11:09 PM

Oh yeah, and Lily hits people with rocks a lot too. Right Fwosty dear? XD

Lily April 27th, 2005 7:11 AM

....*hits JA with a stone*

>O!!!

Strawberry Delcatty April 27th, 2005 2:43 PM

Just to let you know...
I'll work on chapter 6 of HMW this weekend. Meow.

Breezy April 27th, 2005 3:24 PM

You writers are so abusive to each other. XP

Geometric-sama April 27th, 2005 4:43 PM

Abuse is a part of the writing mentality! XD Especially when you're working collaboratively on a project ^^

Breezy April 27th, 2005 5:33 PM

Abuse is how writers write. "I'll beat you with a stick if you stop writing!" X3

Geometric-sama April 27th, 2005 8:44 PM

Not quite. I think, in this case, it's "I'll throw a rock at you if you don't stop calling my boyfriend Fwosty dear!"

Breezy April 27th, 2005 9:00 PM

Ah yes, the rocks. She'll move onto boulders soon that Lileh. =P

I wrote a new poem thing based off of my other poem "Tiny Paws" called "Bloody Handprints". I didn't kill Pichus in it. >>; You just keep seeing typos of pickels, don't worry about it. ^^;

Geometric-sama April 27th, 2005 9:12 PM

Maybe you can kill lilies instead and then she won't throw rocks at me anymore ^^;


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