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Shuko May 21st, 2005 8:54 PM

Thanks for the review Frostweaver. :P I'm really glad of it, because although it didn't touch on any of the things I don't like about my story, it addressed a lot of things I hadn't even considered. That's the kind of review I like to get. I can't believe that you're able to devote so much time and effort into this. I wish I had that kind of committment. :D

What can I say? I agree with everything you said. And although I did write it in Wordpad, I don't have much excuse as far as the grammar and oddness is concerned (is "oddness" a word? 0_o) I'll be honest with you; I didn't spend more than a couple hours on each chapter - and that was including proofreading... x_x I just wrote this on a lark, and never expected it to take off or anything. I hated the first chapter a lot, though. There are so many problems in there; especially things you didn't even mention. I'm going to have to resort to *shudders* the dreaded plot device when and if I write chapter 3. But I had a lot of fun writing chapter 2. :P Chance is just about all of my tomboyish childhood wrapped up into a neat little package. I identify with him most. Anyway, I've rambled on enough. I've been thinking about rewriting chapter one, and maybe I'll do that before I move on to 3. We'll see what happens. Thanks again!

TTYO May 21st, 2005 8:58 PM

Hey I don;t mean to sound impatient but is anyone noticing my fic

Pokemon Revenge Enter the Field

Frostweaver May 21st, 2005 9:10 PM

lol... there's a lot of other things to comment on if I want to, but then sometimes i just mention a mistake once, and if it's repeated again I really don't talk about it again (it'll take WAY too long.) There are also some things that are awkward right now yet you can't define them as "wrong" because they have the potential to be good if they're brought back again later in the story. Or there's just some plot element related items that a reviewer is not allowed to comment on, because that'll be commenting on plot and not writing technique.

There's one type of plot that you can label as wrong though: plagarize/direct c+p something, replace name/Pokemon species... this includes anime-wannabes and manga-wannabes.

But thanks for the compliment Shuko ^^;

As for TTYO's fanfic, I'll have to read it tomorrow as it's late today, and I want a bit of time to do my own stuff too lol *cough*hw*cough* ;_;

Avegaille May 21st, 2005 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sequoia
uh...looong review there frostweaver...XD but anyways, now i'm going to read that fic, and see what it's like...

Um, why not ask frostweaver to get your fic to be reviewed so that I'll know how he rates your fic! XP

Strawberry Delcatty May 22nd, 2005 9:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nekomajo Asunya
EXPECTED DEADLINES FOR "DEEPEST WISHES" CHAPTERS
5/21/05 - Chapter 1

Obviously this one hasn't been met, so I'm try to force myself to finish it today. Hopefully, it won't happen to chapter 2.

Note to beta readers: Whenver I'm late for a deadline, you've pretty much lucked out. :P

Dragonfree May 22nd, 2005 9:40 AM

*pokes Frostweaver* What about Shackles?

pokegirl909 May 22nd, 2005 11:36 AM

I just made two new posts!
In My Eyes:
A story of Cinder, a Cyndiquil. She is a legendary dog pokemon, but no-one knows, not even her trainer, Melody (Not the one we know and love).
Shade's Journey:
A 10 year old slave finds her brother, after being seperated for years. She sves the world from a horrible leader, in fact, it's her old master!

Please read them :D :chinese: :rambo: :confused: :classic: :cross-eye

Yamato-san May 22nd, 2005 2:05 PM

pokegirl909, sorry to say, but your stories are far from great, in fact, they seem crappy enough to need locked. I'm also under the suspicion that you and GymLeaderWhitney are the same person, but if not, then she's a mindless praiser who needs a real stern talking to.

pokegirl909 May 22nd, 2005 2:22 PM

Hey! Why would I do that?

Breezy May 22nd, 2005 2:47 PM

How can a Cyndaquil be a legendary dog Pokémon when it's a Cyndaquil? o0; Cyndaquils are fire mouses I believe anyways.

I described May with a mini-skirt? I don't even think I described that part of her shirt to begin with period. ^_^; Haha period. Anyone read that fic that graced the PC fanfic forums yet lol?

oni flygon May 22nd, 2005 3:28 PM

Nope, they're different people Yamato-san. Different IP addresses...though it does need locking...

Avegaille May 22nd, 2005 3:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy
I described May with a mini-skirt? I don't even think I described that part of her shirt to begin with period. ^_^; Haha period. Anyone read that fic that graced the PC fanfic forums yet lol?

.......... Breezy, I'm not so sure either, I haven't checked on your chapter 1 in a while, and yeah, I dont think you even described that part....

oni flygon May 22nd, 2005 3:42 PM

anyone would care to review my work? ^_^

http://pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=39420

Strawberry Delcatty May 22nd, 2005 5:11 PM

Chapter 1 of Deepest Wishes will be up today!
Hopefully before midnight.

EDIT: After some consideration, all deadlines will be dropped. It's better for me to work at my own pace anyway.

Yamato-san May 22nd, 2005 8:03 PM

with permission from Niko, I was able to make an entire thread devoted to my dark, dark past. That's right, I posted the old version of PMC, which you can see here. It should be worth checking out just to see the introduction I made for it. I only posted the first four chapters to coincide the events in the plot that I have so far in the revision and not spoil anything. However, for those of you who only read the archives and not the latest chapters, I suggest you only read up until chapter 3.

Avegaille May 22nd, 2005 9:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frostweaver
Now if the pants are not even at her knee, and the "white miniskirt" is not even half as long as her pants, then I severely doubt that it qualifies as a miniskirt... unless I'm too sheltered to realize that they now have miniskirt that's half a foot long O.o; *shrudders* The fact that the white "miniskirt" always sticks to May like glue even when she's falling off a cliff doesn't support it being a "miniskirt" either.

You want miniskirt! I got an animation for you to prove it!!!!!!!

http://www.geoscreens.com/may/ag20strip.gif

You should look into the anime more! XP

EDIT: I just looked into the animation closely and both of us are wrong....

I think it's part of her pants???? Weird.......

Frostweaver May 22nd, 2005 10:22 PM

part of her pants then i guess... but then I know that it's not a miniskirt XD

(and usually we really won't bother with physical description to such an extent most of the time anyway... detailed physical description leads to lag anyway)

And physical description is perhaps the only thing the anime is good for along with some fundamental things that you just need to know regarding those Pokemon characters from the anime (such as what pokemon each person has and etc) >>; I don't watch the anime since 2 years ago... Jhoto was too too crappy and unbearable. Further you stay away from that thing, most likely the better your pokemon writing becomes <3

Avegaille May 22nd, 2005 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frostweaver
part of her pants then i guess... but then I know that it's not a miniskirt XD

(and usually we really won't bother with physical description to such an extent most of the time anyway... detailed physical description leads to lag anyway)

And physical description is perhaps the only thing the anime is good for along with some fundamental things that you just need to know regarding those Pokemon characters from the anime (such as what pokemon each person has and etc) >>; I don't watch the anime since 2 years ago... Jhoto was too too crappy and unbearable. Further you stay away from that thing, most likely the better your pokemon writing becomes <3

Maybe that's the reason why we don't have Pokemon here?? Well, jsut a good side of it...

Anyways, the anime is only my guide to how some characters look like at least... but thanks for the advice anyways! XP

Geometric-sama May 22nd, 2005 11:19 PM

*goes off to try and become famous*

Sequoia May 23rd, 2005 12:49 AM

XDD what are we talking about again? short term memory loss coming in...

Avegaille May 23rd, 2005 1:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sequoia
XDD what are we talking about again? short term memory loss coming in...

We're talking about fan fiction here Jane! XP

and I find the animation a bit disturbing at first.....

Shuko May 23rd, 2005 8:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frostweaver
-"Hikari" is an absolutely feminine name, destined for girls o.o; Even if it's a Pokemon... It's a bit strange when the male dog in your house is called "Betty." It's awkward...

I forgot about this part, lol. I wanted to say that I kind of disagree. Hikaru is definitely a girl's name, but I've seen Hikari used in a different context. For example, in MKR (Magic Knights Rayearth) Hikaru's dog (a male dog) is named Hikari. I just assumed that it was an appropriate name for a pretty male pet. And although Maya sees Hikari as a friend, she chose to name him - an action you would use with a pet, not necessarily a friend. Anyway, Hikari sounded better than "Pka-Pika," "Kagayaki," or any of the other ten or so names I came up with. :P But you could be right, after all. Anyone care to offer an opinion on this?

Avegaille May 24th, 2005 12:24 AM

Um, I only heard Hikaru as a name for Misaki's Angel.... um, nvm....

Anyways, where are those people doing reviews here?

Isaac Gravity May 24th, 2005 6:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shuko
I forgot about this part, lol. I wanted to say that I kind of disagree. Hikaru is definitely a girl's name, but I've seen Hikari used in a different context. For example, in MKR (Magic Knights Rayearth) Hikaru's dog (a male dog) is named Hikari. I just assumed that it was an appropriate name for a pretty male pet. And although Maya sees Hikari as a friend, she chose to name him - an action you would use with a pet, not necessarily a friend. Anyway, Hikari sounded better than "Pka-Pika," "Kagayaki," or any of the other ten or so names I came up with. :P But you could be right, after all. Anyone care to offer an opinion on this?

I could agree with Hikari being commonly used for girl's... As for the names where I heard Hikari mostly used was in Digimon 01 for Tai's little sister and Asuka's friend in Neon Genesis Evangelion. Save for Rockman.EXE/Megaman Battle Network where the name Hikari serves as last name to Netto/Lan and his family so this also plys into Hikari being used in different context.

But Hikaru... I dunno... I mean in Hikaru no Go The main character Hikaru, is a boy.

Casual Billy May 24th, 2005 1:44 PM

Billy: What's that, Annie?

Annie Wonucares: I didn't say anything

Billy: I know you were thinking it though

Annie Wonucares: ...

Billy: A new chapter of Worlds Away is out!!!

Annie Wonucares: Oh wow.

P.S. ~ In case someone hasn't figured it out, my addressing the fictional character Annie Wonucares is actually me letting Any One Who Cares know about updates in my fic. I don't have an imaginary friend or anything.

Audience: Sure.

Billy: Whatever.


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