![]() |
The Story of Shade Mew
Chapter 1: Prologue:
In TEAM DARKCHLO's HIDEOUT: ????: Yeah, a few more seconds and MEW is finally cloned to cover all the regions in deep darkness! Mwahahaha! DAWN: Not so fast ugly thing! ????: Whoa! It's that DAWN again. But it's too late DAWN, it's already night, besides MEW is about to be cloned. DAWN: EMPLEON, Stop this quickly! EMPLEON used ICE BEAM ????: Too late, Shade Mew is here! MEW: Not so fast ugly thing. ????: MEW! What the....? MEW: Yes, Me, DAWN deliver to Celebi to send this message to any one in the future! We must protect POKEMON at all costs! DAWN: Alright! [DAWN exits the HIDEOUT] MEW: As for stupid you, SHADE twin, You shall vanish! MEW used LULLY BIND SHADE MEW: ZZZZ Chapter 2: The Death Maze DAWN: Oh cool, now i have to pass this maze. {Beleive me, I mapped it and you would not like it.} DAWN: Huh, Some Super Power grabs me... Whoa! DAWN is teleported to Celebi in the end of the maze! Celebi: Mew, The Intelligence Pokemon is recloned again. Those freaks will copy me soon to make celetwo. DAWN: Mewtwo is no problem (for now). Celebi, deliver this to future. Celebi: ? DAWN: To anyone just deliver it. Celebi: Kkies... Celebi disappeared. Jirachi: Thanks, Go back to SINNOH. We shall take care of this. DAWN: But... Jirachi w/ angry eyes: JUST DO IT! Jirachi teleports DAWN to SINNOH Chapter 3: The Rise of The Hero: In a peaceful home in KANTO: Hero: Hello? ?????????: Hello, there, bro. Hero: Ehm... who's on Phone this time? ?????: I'm Donnaclus. Hero: Oh, Hi there! (What's up this time?) Donn: I wanted you to come and see ZINTOH. There is something going on and I'm afraid there is and event. You caught KYOGRE, LUGIA and MANAPHY. RIGHT? Hero: Yup and they are with BIRCH. Donn: What about SQUIRTLE?[Listen, I'm not joking] Reader: Squirtle! In this story! PSK: Calm Down : Powerful Story: --------------------------------------------------------------------------- PSK: Hmm... What is that Ring on the floor? BLASTOISE: TOISE.. PSK: Very Well, then. You shall try it! PSK: BLASTOISE is DEVELOPED to: *Glass Cup Broken* SQUIRTLE! LUGIA : Correction: Powerful Squirtle. PR. or Powerful Pokemon are evolutions of last evolutions using the Powerful Evo. Ring. Espeon evolves to PR.EEVEE. I evolve to PR.LUGIA, etc. PR. PKMN are even more powerful than some legendaries! PSK: HE looks so cute but i want him to represent his power: Squirtle, a Water gun Please (Blows in PsK's Face). PSK is transported Pokematiclly from League to twinleaf town. THE END. ------------------------------------------------ Back to hero: With Rowan. Donn: Rowan is in SINGLEAQUA. Come and You'll get him! Chapter 4: Inside of Ship: Hero: I'm seasick on this surfing town. MOM: This is singleAQUA. AQUA. DO you want lava! Hero: Listen, I maybe like water PKMN but I hate a city with sea! MOM: Then , What about PACDIFLOG? HERO: HERO Fainted. MOM: We're already home now! HERO: *JUMPS AS FAST AS A CROBAT ON LEVEL 100* Chapter 5: Within Singleaqua: HERO: I'll have sea sick. It's watery here. I don't know surf. This is a problem for me. MOM: Stop Talking! You're talking like a scientist explaining a complicated calculation. HERO: Uh sorry, My room (At least less sea sick) MOM: OK , Enter. Gr.... HERO: It looks weird in here. How donn is living in this house. MOM: Dunno.... HERO: *PALLET TOWN, you're my favorite* MOM: You'll like this place. Set the clock in your room. HERO: Yes, Sir.. HERO: Now Let's set this thing... The time is... ??????: Briiii! HERO: ? The hero looks around. Briiiii! THe hero looks back : Celebi. HERO: CELEBI! MOM! Celebi: CALM DOWN! I just came to deliver you a message from DAWN. From the past. HERO: Very well, time psycho but a legendary shall get in my capture :P. Celebi dissapears. HERO: *Goes on fire* HERO: What about this past thing? The Finder of this Message, Before awakening a legendary. Please come to visit me in SINNOH Region. I'll be near. You can go there by ship. Kind Regards, Dawn. HERO sees a Shadow Travelling in the sky. ---TO BE CONTINUED---- I often point out to newer writers that their works are like video game transcriptions, which is something that fanfic writers should try to avoid. Yours is the first I've seen where it actually IS a video game transcription. Let me tell you one thing about good writing: it has description. This story would probably be better as a ROM hack. I don't advise that you continue this story unless you seriously and thoroughly revise what you've already posted. ME: Yup, I think... I think I gonna erease the extra Ruby Editions. But I meant this , though i got the idea from some how game. But I don't remember which exactly. But The idea is all mine. Shade Mew is obtained by thinking of some evil, huh? |
I often point out to newer writers that their works are like video game transcriptions, which is something that fanfic writers should try to avoid. Yours is the first I've seen where it actually IS a video game transcription. Let me tell you one thing about good writing: it has description. This story would probably be better as a ROM hack.
I don't advise that you continue this story unless you seriously and thoroughly revise what you've already posted. |
I did a story like this - in script form. I don't know if it is aloud. On serebii.net they lock it for not being in the right section, and/or not being of high enough quality. There are some people who are expertly good at script form, which makes it okay, but I agree with icomeanon6. You don't have enough description to make it decent. Plus the "*action here*" is fine for conversation but not meant for fanfic writing. The chapters are also extremely short and devoid of enough action or length.
I would advise you do what I did when my script was locked.(again - serebii.net - just in the wrong section, but it wasn't going to be a script forum forever- I just wanted to try it - moving on) I revised my first chapter of all it's script-ness and made a new thread, adding a rating and "(Redone)" to my fiction title. It is hard to start over on the same thread, so ask a mod to close the thread, and start over without script form. Makes for better writing. :) Best of luck. |
Read the rules. No script fics. Especially poorly-done ones.
Try again with some more effort tossed into the thing. Thread is closed. |
| All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:49 AM. |
![]()
© 2002 - 2018 The PokéCommunity™, pokecommunity.com.
Pokémon characters and images belong to The Pokémon Company International and Nintendo. This website is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Nintendo, Creatures, GAMEFREAK, The Pokémon Company or The Pokémon Company International. We just love Pokémon.
All forum styles, their images (unless noted otherwise) and site designs are © 2002 - 2016 The PokéCommunity / PokéCommunity.com.
PokéCommunity™ is a trademark of The PokéCommunity. All rights reserved. Sponsor advertisements do not imply our endorsement of that product or service. User generated content remains the property of its creator.
Acknowledgements
Use of PokéCommunity Assets
vB Optimise by DragonByte Technologies Ltd © 2023.