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Mountain Sage January 2nd, 2009 8:25 PM

possible fanfic?
 
hello im new here - ive got an idea for a fanfic, which ive already posted the intro of in the fanfic sectioon. ok, here it goes:

Remember the good old days of Hoenn? Emerald, Ruby & Sapphire? I'm out to revisit this region and its characters - 30 years after Ash and May rolled through.

This time, the main characters are Tony and Lauren (pics inset). These two live in Littleroot Town and are soon to set out on a two-part quest; Lauren for the Pokedex and Tony for the Elite Four. Together, they travel through the Hoenn region, battling Gym Leaders and adding to the Pokedex.

If I were to rate it, it would be PG-13 (for some romance later on and some mild language). This isn't cute "Pokemon: Advanced Battle" anymore; this is evolved beyond the lovable Pokemon show we all knew and loved. This series is more passionate, intense and more likely to please an older (teen) audience.

JX Valentine January 2nd, 2009 9:05 PM

First off, welcome to PC. I admit I'm going into this after having skimmed your introduction. (You may want to insert a line of space between each paragraph. Some people -- myself included -- find it difficult to read large, unbroken blocks of text that lack either indentation or a clear paragraph break. It's easy for us to lose our places, basically, so we end up rereading a line, mistaking it for the next one down. If you tried to use indentation on PC, you'll want to remember that web browsers usually don't acknowledge indents unless you use certain codes that aren't readable on a board. Hence, all your indents get stripped away, and you end up with a wall of text.)

That aside...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountain Sage (Post 4247674)
Remember the good old days of Hoenn? Emerald, Ruby & Sapphire?

Man, this makes me feel old. XD I still remember the good old days of Kanto. And not even the Battle Frontier, either.

Anyway, there's not much I can say about your concept because you're giving us a pretty bare-bones summary. It's interesting to see one trainer actually going for the Elite Four and the other trying to complete the Pokédex, but other than that, I'm assuming this is pretty much an average new trainer journey, right?

Couple of questions, though:

1. Is this anime canon, game canon, or a mix of both? Odd question, I know, but the anime tends to wander away from the game a lot, the most notable instance of which happens in the fact that the anime doesn't end the Hoenn League with the Elite Four. To make it clearer, while an Elite Four exists in the anime's world, they're really just a group of strong trainers. When any trainer gathers the eight badges of a League, then, they have the opportunity to participate in an annual tournament to win a trophy and the title of League Champion. Beating the Elite Four themselves really doesn't mean much in the anime except that the trainer in question is extraordinarily good.

I guess what I was thrown off by is the part about this taking place thirty years after Ash and company. You could possibly do a canon cocktail, but even then, you'll want to be careful to avoid confusing the people who see both worlds as separate -- or at least address what happened to the concept of the tournament that Ash participated in after earning the eight Hoenn badges, if only to tie up loose ends and avoid causing the reader to become a little confused.

2. With the goal of completing the Pokédex, do you plan on having your characters encounter the legendaries? If so, you'll want to be careful about how you handle them. In the anime canon, they're basically the forces of nature. As in, for example, screwing with them has often led to destruction and chaos. *motions to all of the movies* That kind of feel is toned down a bit in the game (which lets the hero avatar capture all of the legends without a problem), but you may still want to look at the 'dex entries and really think about how to deal with their sheer power. Not saying you don't know how. Just saying it's something to keep in mind when you get to it because it could either be incredibly interesting or incredibly anticlimactic, depending on how a writer handles it.

Other than that, the only other piece of advice is be aware of the clichés other OT stories have done. Check out Thesis' thread, for example, to get commentaries from several members concerning what tends to happen frequently in fics. With two main characters from the start -- one of which seems to be a collector rather than a trainer -- you may have less to worry about, but still, it's always good to keep an eye on the pitfalls of tropes simply because the OT genre is probably one of the most often-done genres in Pokémon fanfiction. So, readers will probably go into your story thinking it'll be the same as always unless you pull some really awesome stuff out. Just be careful, though, and you should be able to convince them that, no, your story isn't just another dry OT.

In any case, good luck, and I'll submit a full review later, when I've got a bit more time. Promise.

Mountain Sage January 3rd, 2009 12:10 PM

whoa, that was a mouthful lol.

Before reading, understand that I'm making some stuff up as I go; might be a little confusing, but will become clearer as the story matures

Ok, so the deal with the Pokedex is that thirty years ago, two trainers were also working on it (the Pokedex) then disappeared. A few stories say they were involved in an encounter with Legendary Pokemon. Here's a hint: those two trainers that disappeared are NOT dead, but in fact featured in the story. Lauren (female hero) has been given the job of going out and documenting all 202.

But then, you ask, who's the Professor? Meet Professor Aspen. He is Lauren's father, Hoenn's only Professor (Birch moved a long time ago to Johto).

And the deal with the Legendaries - im not 100 percent sure yet, but they will DEFINETLY be in the story, but not sure if the trainers are going to catch them. I know they're supposed to be the forces of nature and stuff (Groudon = creator of the land, for example), but i would imagine that capturing them would throw off the natural order of the world. And as to which Legendaries . . . I would be keeping it to Hoenn only (unless I later add different books about the other regions) - so its like Groudon, Kyogre, Rayquaza and so on.

And sorry about the grammer & layout . . . i just kinda copied & pasted right out of the Word document.

And yes, this is a new journey - same region, with some new characters and some old faces (won't say who quite yet). What you all have to understand is that I'm playing the same game with a new twist on it - like i said before, this isn't little-kid Pokemon anymore. It's evolved, so to speak. Alongside Tony and Lauren are two Pokemon Rangers; well, not alongside as in traveling with them, but in the story; their names are Blaze and Amber. They'll show up late in the story and help out with some stuff . . .

About the Elite Four, well . . . its kinda like this: yes, there's an annual tournament which Tony (male hero) is planning on entering. The entire story spans about a year or so, in which time he gathers his choice Pokemon and trains them to take on the other Trainers that are competing. If he wins against all of them, then he takes on the Elite Four, and if he wins, is crowned Pokemon League Champion.

The time frame is a little quirky, I know, but the point of putting it ahead by thrity years is to put a new view on the Pokemon universe; on the next generation, so to speak.

In the case of tying up loose ends, the only characters from the old series would include May - she'll appear somewhere . . . Wally will make an appearance . . . and Brendan - he is Tony's father, and even though he wasn't on the show, he plays an important role as well . . . .

Oh and in case you're curious, here's a list of the Gym Leaders and locations:

Littleroot Town (start)
Oldale Town (small town north of Littleroot)
Petalburg City (5th gym – Brendan – bug)
Rustboro City (1st gym – Janet - rock)
Dewford Town (2nd gym - Louis - fighting)
Slateport City (southern port city)
Mauville City (3rd gym – Jewels – electric)
Verdanturf Town (tunnel to Rustboro)
Lavaridge Town (4th gym – Ashley – fire)
Fallarbor Town (ash city)
Fortree City (6th gym – Charlie – flying)
Lilycove City (northern port city
Mossdeep City (7th gym – Claire – psychic)
Sootopolis City (8th gym – Michael – water)
Pacifidlog Town (pre-stop to Sky Pillar)

So as you can see, all the towns are the same - as are the Types used by the Gym Leaders. See if you can make connections between the names of the Leaders and what Type they use - have fun!

JX Valentine January 3rd, 2009 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountain Sage (Post 4249390)
Before reading, understand that I'm making some stuff up as I go;

XD I'm hoping you do, really. It wouldn't be interesting if you didn't.

Quote:

but i would imagine that capturing them would throw off the natural order of the world.
Most likely. A lot of writers don't seem to really see that, but I'm glad you do. If you use that concept, it might bring up some interesting bits of plot (so long as you also avoid the entire "Chosen One" cliché, which really makes the outcome of whatever you do with said bits of plot predictable), but if you don't want to touch that kind of possibility with a ten-foot pole, I couldn't possibly blame you.

Quote:

And sorry about the grammer & layout . . . i just kinda copied & pasted right out of the Word document.
No problem. I know Word tends to screw up layouts at times. It never hurts to double-check, though.

Quote:

What you all have to understand is that I'm playing the same game with a new twist on it - like i said before, this isn't little-kid Pokemon anymore.
In that case, I'll look forward to looking at the differences. Not saying this sarcastically, either.

Mountain Sage January 3rd, 2009 12:46 PM

thanks for the tips. working on chapter 1 now - ill post it within a few days.

Oh, forgot to mention - the avatars for the trainers are as follows:

Tony - Emerald male outfit
Lauren- Emerald female outfit


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