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-   -   Things you don't say to a cop (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=166043)

Ho-Oh January 13th, 2009 4:50 AM

Things you don't say to a cop
 
Yeah basically as the title says. :3

Examples...

I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything
Putting on a little weight?

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 4:52 AM

Can I wear the hat now, officer? ;3

Ho-Oh January 13th, 2009 5:05 AM

Can I go to the toilet yet?

beauty. proletariat January 13th, 2009 5:13 AM

Could i make one quick drive across the state before you cancel my lisence sir :3

Ho-Oh January 13th, 2009 5:15 AM

Oops, dropped the drugs. Just ignore that.

beauty. proletariat January 13th, 2009 5:24 AM

WAIT! Cant you see im busy on the fone!? You can check my lisence later!

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 5:26 AM

What's the pepper spray feel like?

Ho-Oh January 13th, 2009 5:28 AM

I have a knife and I'm not afraid to use it.

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 5:29 AM

Must feel great having a gun, can I borrow yours?

Ho-Oh January 13th, 2009 5:32 AM

Are you Jeebus? I see a bright light!

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 5:35 AM

Officer, it's okay. I'm drunk.

Really really really drunk.

beauty. proletariat January 13th, 2009 5:45 AM

*catches you filling up a 10L oil can with petrol*

Errgh. I have an abbo for a kid. >.<

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 5:48 AM

Hold my beer while I get ready to punch you.

beauty. proletariat January 13th, 2009 5:53 AM

Just gimme a sec, I've nearly finished pissing on your car.

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 5:54 AM

Sorry sir, I'm not a mobile donut shop.

THIRTY-SIX January 13th, 2009 5:58 AM

Excuse me officer, lemme take a couple guesses, huh? You were probably the big ••••••• in your high school right? You used to pick on guys like us everyday right? The graduation came, we went to college and you went nowhere. And you thought, Hey how can I still give them ****, oh I know I'll become a cop right? Well congradu••••ulations your dream has come true. Now why don't you take this quite little Asian guy, with the Anglican name who treats you so well … and give him a couple more tickets. Better yet just take him to jail.

Sexycheese January 13th, 2009 6:22 AM

^ lolz thats freaky
Officer, your a prick!

Tater Tot January 13th, 2009 6:31 AM

Hey Officer, do have any idea as to where my weed went? It was in the car just a second ago, but when I ran off to molest a girl, and came back, it was gone.

Mira January 13th, 2009 7:50 AM

Oh, nice gun. I have one of those in my pocket. Oh, and by the way, I have a car full of explosives rigged to go when I start up the car. Ain't that nifty?

Cheesymitten January 13th, 2009 9:07 AM

Why the straight face? I know lets play a game uncuff me so we can play its a game..... of hide and seek :)

Seen the picture of a pe**s that i put on your car?

Oh look some knives who could have dropped them was it you??

Barney. January 13th, 2009 9:16 AM

You: Wow that's a big zit
Cop: Yeah
You: I bet the people at the force call you pimplehead?
Cop: No
You: Pizza face?
Cop: No
You: Blemishy?
Cop: No
You: ZitGit?
Cop: No
You: ....Lardass?

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 12:14 PM

Are you one of the village people?

storm393 January 13th, 2009 12:19 PM

my car did it, im innocent! :)

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 12:22 PM

This car isn't actually mine... I found it? :x

storm393 January 13th, 2009 12:24 PM

the only reason your mad is because your late for your doughnut stop.

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 12:27 PM

Officer, I'm in a bit of a rush. Blood's leaking from the boot of my car.

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 12:36 PM

I always loved a man in uniform. ;3

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 12:39 PM

Is your baton measured by the length of... you know.

Her January 13th, 2009 12:39 PM

Do you have pink fluffy handcuffs?

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 12:43 PM

I'm not doing anything suspicious. I'm just... umm... driving to... work! not doing anything suspicious with the murder of the guy at the end of the street! Who told you that? When I get them, I'll...

Mitchman January 13th, 2009 12:43 PM

Officer good day. As you can see i am driving in a stolen car with 3 hookers 5 kilos of dope and one body. Wanna join us?

Her January 13th, 2009 12:44 PM

What you gonna do with all that junk, all that stuff in my trunk?

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 12:45 PM

Wow! Chrome dome! What you gonna do, lock me up?

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 12:45 PM

Oh great timing, I've been looking for a stripper for my hen's night. :3

Barney. January 13th, 2009 12:45 PM

I heard your missus is up the spout...

Let me know who dunnit and I'll sort 'im out.

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 12:46 PM

If you revoke this fine, I'll give you my wife.

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 12:47 PM

The trees told me to! They spoke to me! As did the flowers, the bench...

Mitchman January 13th, 2009 12:47 PM

Hey tell your buddies to get off my tail i am trying to escape here!

storm393 January 13th, 2009 12:48 PM

person:i am on a very tight schedule, *raise in voice* and i am not in the mood for this. dont you have someone else to yell at. like that old lady over there.
officer: THATS MY MOM!

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 12:48 PM

Hey, did you want to see the illegal pigeon fighting too?

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 12:49 PM

License? What the hell is that?

Barney. January 13th, 2009 12:50 PM

That mess? Oh yeas thats a mixture of sick and dried blood that has come from my hooker.

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 12:50 PM

Never mind the laws, I have money!

I Laugh at your Misfortune! January 13th, 2009 12:52 PM

Yeah, the guy in my boot is...um...sleeping...

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 12:52 PM

Look over there! A robber! *Steals wallet*

Barney. January 13th, 2009 12:54 PM

You: If you let the speeding pass ... *Slips a piece of paper into cops hand*
Cop: Sir, The police force doesn't take bribes....Especially not Basketball tickets...
You: Oh wait I need those!

Persona January 13th, 2009 12:54 PM

No officer, that's not a gun in my pocket; I'm just happy to see you. :)

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 12:55 PM

Were you too stupid to be part of the FBI, and were forced to be a cop?

Barney. January 13th, 2009 12:55 PM

What the hell?

Why did you stop me!?

I was driving at 10 miles per hour!

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 12:56 PM

Oh, come on! Not my fault my knife accidently went into his heart. Or hers. Or his, or his...

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 12:56 PM

Your uniform isn't just only for work, huh?

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 12:57 PM

God, that driver was such a jerk... Oh that was you?!

Barney. January 13th, 2009 12:59 PM

Yes officer...That is blood...Yes that is a body....Soooo what's your point?

Mitchman January 13th, 2009 12:59 PM

Officer i can easily explain how the 5 block radius exploded from an explosion coming from my house but you need to know higher math and a lot of chemistry. And i doubt you do yeh stupid doughnut eating fatarse crome dome!

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 1:00 PM

Officer, please tenderise me. :3

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 1:03 PM

My name? I want to know you first!

Persona January 13th, 2009 1:03 PM

Aren't you going to strip search me, big boy? ;3

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 1:05 PM

I love playing good cop, bad cop. ;D

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 1:07 PM

I'm sure you'd change your mind about giving me that ticket once we've spent a night together. ;3

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 1:07 PM

We may have seperate views, but 100 miles an hour is safe to me. That child didn't look before crossing. Not my fault.

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 1:12 PM

I'll obey anything you say, Officer. ;3

Her January 13th, 2009 1:12 PM

But I wanted the female cop.

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 1:13 PM

Whoa! I think I have a stalker... You've been following me all day now.

Her January 13th, 2009 1:15 PM

Do you have whipped cream instead of pepper spray?

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 1:16 PM

You are really convincing me that you're a cop. The costume is superb!

Her January 13th, 2009 1:19 PM

No, I'm placing YOU under arrest.

Mitchman January 13th, 2009 1:19 PM

Wow 10-15 minutes and 2 pages XD
Officer may i say your private show on the internet is excellent. Can you do one for me here?

Her January 13th, 2009 1:21 PM

Hey, I think I saw you on Cops once...

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 1:30 PM

Hey, I didn't know she was your wife!

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 1:31 PM

If you're going to take me to jail, please be rough.

Banjora Marxvile January 13th, 2009 1:32 PM

That's your daughter that's in the boot of my car? There's been a mix-up. You'll laugh when I tell you this...

Her January 13th, 2009 1:33 PM

Hey, is my baton poking you? Oh wait, I don't have a baton...

ruby January 13th, 2009 1:34 PM

Ooh, so soft; Do you moisturise?

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 1:34 PM

I know you've been stalking me for a while, Officer. :x

Her January 13th, 2009 1:36 PM

Don't worry, I'll make Heaven a place in prison.

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 1:37 PM

I'm sure you have fluffy hand cuffs from your regular ones. ;3

Her January 13th, 2009 1:38 PM

I have connections...
in your pants.

Her January 13th, 2009 1:41 PM

I'm resisting arrest! Oh, please tackle me to the ground.

Starway January 13th, 2009 1:41 PM

Hello officer could you hold on for a moment?
*Hits the driver door of your car open*
Opps sorry!
*Drive away*

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 1:42 PM

I break the law, just so I can see your beautiful face again~ ♥

Her January 13th, 2009 1:43 PM

I could do a strip dance on your baton if you want...

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 1:44 PM

How roomy is it in the back of your paddy wagon? ;3

Her January 13th, 2009 1:45 PM

Sure, I'll remain silent.

Her January 13th, 2009 1:48 PM

Boo, I get the only straight cop in town.

Tater Tot January 13th, 2009 1:56 PM

YOU'RE ARRESTING ME? I've been driving more than I've been drinking!

Starway January 13th, 2009 1:56 PM

Your the ninth cop I've seen with a stupid mustache!

Her January 13th, 2009 2:03 PM

Code 311 means sexy party, right?

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 2:05 PM

This is the best way to meet studs like you. :D

the bitter end. January 13th, 2009 2:06 PM

He had Life insurance, didn't he...

Starway January 13th, 2009 2:12 PM

Hmm...I wonder where this gun came from?

the bitter end. January 13th, 2009 2:14 PM

*Points at Closer* She did it! -runs-

Starway January 13th, 2009 2:16 PM

Hey look a monkey!
*Punch in the face*

the bitter end. January 13th, 2009 2:25 PM

Look, I'm not interested in you land, sir. Go back to that cave where all of you door to door salesmen live.

Starway January 13th, 2009 2:27 PM

Give me the ticket already! Iv'e heard this like a million times before!

beauty. proletariat January 13th, 2009 2:27 PM

I'll give you a beer if you leave me alone mate!

epicfail fur teh lulz

KurlyFries January 13th, 2009 2:28 PM

I definitely smell a pork product of some sort.

Look! a black man robbing a donut shop!!!!

Starway January 13th, 2009 2:33 PM

....Look at Chicken go catch it! =D

Aizuke January 13th, 2009 2:46 PM

I'm sure you pulling me over had other intentions. ;3

Starway January 13th, 2009 3:02 PM

You just keep talking and talking....

Ru-Kun January 13th, 2009 3:11 PM

If the cop was female

Were you the on at my party?


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