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Officer: FREEZE!
You: Shh! I'm drunk and I'm trying to sleep. |
*Officer looks at you*
Why don't you take a picture, It'll last longer! haha! |
If you don't arrest me, we'll be best friends forever!
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Listen, Officer. Don't arrest me and I'll share some of the drugs in the back.
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I'm on drugs, Don't arrest me!
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Officer: Step out of the car please.
You: Okay Sir. Officer: I-Is that screaming? You: Oh, that's just my friend in the back. I tied him up. :3 |
You're gonna arrest me? Well, let's make a deal first. (I've got Krispy Kreme)
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Let's play dress ups, officer. :O
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Don't arrest me! Derk has the dead hooker in the back seat of his car!
...56 miles away. |
Cop: I'm afraid I'll have to arrest you, sir.
Suspect: WHAT?! I wanna go home... hey, do you think that Dorothy trick works? |
Caleb = lol.
I swear to God, I'm this guy! http://www.bigirlfan.com/images/fam4.jpg I'm not a sex offender! :D |
What, you want some action as well? All it takes to have the best time of your life is four easy payments of $10.81. 8D
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Would it be okay if I saw I borrowed your stick? *Someone gets shot across the street* Just ignore that. Now about the stick....
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Oh, by the way. Use a condom.
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*Looks around* *Looks at officer* *shakes head*
"Duuude...diid yoou knoow...theress uh carr...thaat ruuns ooon wattter maaan!" |
Officer: I'm sorry sir but I have to give you a ticket...
Me: I sowry. |
^ Wasn't talking to you. :/
Hey look! Exploding towers! |
Cop pulls me over.
Sir you're going to have to get out of your vehicle. Me: You know this reminds of a story my freind told me. She said a Cop pulled over her dad and tazed him with a tazer. You know he kind of looks like you! *Shows picture* Cop: Um sir you weren't doing anything wrong I just wanted to say hi.... |
cop:im afraid im going to have to arrest you
you: hey, how about i just buy you some doughnuts and well call it a day |
*Runs out of the car*
"POLICE BRUTALITY! POLICE BRUTALITY!" |
Cops speeding down the road. You pull up behind him and he get's up he asks
Cop: What there's is a crook getting away! You: Yeah Sorry sir but you were going faster than the speed limit so i'm afraid I have to write you a ticket. *Writes Ticket* Also remember. Don't drive drunk! |
Cop walks up towards your car, looks into the window.
*Cop takes off his glasses* Cop: Do you wreckin how fast you were goin' boy? You: Yeah, 35 mph... Cop: You sassin me boy? You: No sir, I was ju-just tellin the truth. Cop: No son, you were goin' 75 mph! You [thinks] : wtf...? You: No I wasn't... Cop: Yeah boy, you were. I reckon it took almost all of my aerodynamic driving skills to catch up to you. You: Aerodynamic whah...? Seriously, I was going 35 mph. Cop: No son, you were goin' 90 mph, like I said, t'was hard to catch you. You: You couldn't catch crabs from a $10 hooker. *Cop Clenches fists, glares at you* Cop: Are you giving me lip again boy? You: Hell yeah! Cop: That's it, now I'm going to have to write you up. You: Go ahead, see if I care. Cop: What's your name? You: Buster...Buster Cherry. Cop: Okay Buster *snickers* you're in a heap of trouble. You: What's going to happen to me sir? Cop: Probably 15 years of jailtime, for assaulting an officer. You: Oh really? That bad huh? Cop: Yep. So, any last words? You: Yeah, I just have a question for you officer. Cop: What's that? You: Are you afraid of heights? Cop: No, why do you ask? You: Well, your zipper is! *Cop Looks Down* *You Speed Away* _________________________ I know this made completely no sense whatsoever, and I kinda went overboard, but this is what happens when I'm bored. Sorry... :/ I also just noticed I included a sexual innuendo on accident (Buster Cherry...think about it). |
*sly voice* whats up good looking?
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Can I use your jumper cables?
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Is this a stickup or are you just happy to see me? *wink wink*
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