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-   -   Things you don't say to a cop (https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=166043)

Guillermo January 13th, 2009 4:29 PM

Officer: FREEZE!
You: Shh! I'm drunk and I'm trying to sleep.

Karasuma January 13th, 2009 4:31 PM

*Officer looks at you*

Why don't you take a picture, It'll last longer! haha!

Her January 13th, 2009 4:33 PM

If you don't arrest me, we'll be best friends forever!

Guillermo January 13th, 2009 4:40 PM

Listen, Officer. Don't arrest me and I'll share some of the drugs in the back.

xMeowthz January 13th, 2009 4:42 PM

I'm on drugs, Don't arrest me!

Guillermo January 13th, 2009 4:48 PM

Officer: Step out of the car please.
You: Okay Sir.
Officer: I-Is that screaming?
You: Oh, that's just my friend in the back. I tied him up. :3

Azonic January 13th, 2009 5:33 PM

You're gonna arrest me? Well, let's make a deal first. (I've got Krispy Kreme)

Guillermo January 13th, 2009 5:34 PM

Let's play dress ups, officer. :O

Her January 13th, 2009 5:45 PM

Don't arrest me! Derk has the dead hooker in the back seat of his car!

...56 miles away.

Tater Tot January 13th, 2009 5:47 PM

Cop: I'm afraid I'll have to arrest you, sir.
Suspect: WHAT?! I wanna go home... hey, do you think that Dorothy trick works?

Her January 13th, 2009 5:50 PM

Caleb = lol.

I swear to God, I'm this guy!
http://www.bigirlfan.com/images/fam4.jpg
I'm not a sex offender! :D

Tater Tot January 13th, 2009 6:04 PM

What, you want some action as well? All it takes to have the best time of your life is four easy payments of $10.81. 8D

Ruphire January 13th, 2009 6:08 PM

Would it be okay if I saw I borrowed your stick? *Someone gets shot across the street* Just ignore that. Now about the stick....

Her January 13th, 2009 6:08 PM

Oh, by the way. Use a condom.

pokewhore January 13th, 2009 6:08 PM

*Looks around* *Looks at officer* *shakes head*
"Duuude...diid yoou knoow...theress uh carr...thaat ruuns ooon wattter maaan!"

Ruphire January 13th, 2009 6:12 PM

Officer: I'm sorry sir but I have to give you a ticket...

Me: I sowry.

Her January 13th, 2009 6:13 PM

^ Wasn't talking to you. :/

Hey look! Exploding towers!

Ruphire January 13th, 2009 6:17 PM

Cop pulls me over.

Sir you're going to have to get out of your vehicle.

Me: You know this reminds of a story my freind told me. She said a Cop pulled over her dad and tazed him with a tazer. You know he kind of looks like you! *Shows picture* Cop: Um sir you weren't doing anything wrong I just wanted to say hi....

storm393 January 13th, 2009 6:22 PM

cop:im afraid im going to have to arrest you
you: hey, how about i just buy you some doughnuts and well call it a day

pokewhore January 13th, 2009 6:31 PM

*Runs out of the car*

"POLICE BRUTALITY! POLICE BRUTALITY!"

Ruphire January 13th, 2009 6:34 PM

Cops speeding down the road. You pull up behind him and he get's up he asks

Cop: What there's is a crook getting away!

You: Yeah Sorry sir but you were going faster than the speed limit so i'm afraid I have to write you a ticket. *Writes Ticket* Also remember. Don't drive drunk!

pokewhore January 13th, 2009 6:45 PM

Cop walks up towards your car, looks into the window.

*Cop takes off his glasses*

Cop: Do you wreckin how fast you were goin' boy?
You: Yeah, 35 mph...
Cop: You sassin me boy?
You: No sir, I was ju-just tellin the truth.
Cop: No son, you were goin' 75 mph!
You [thinks] : wtf...?
You: No I wasn't...
Cop: Yeah boy, you were. I reckon it took almost all of my aerodynamic driving skills to catch up to you.
You: Aerodynamic whah...? Seriously, I was going 35 mph.
Cop: No son, you were goin' 90 mph, like I said, t'was hard to catch you.
You: You couldn't catch crabs from a $10 hooker.

*Cop Clenches fists, glares at you*

Cop: Are you giving me lip again boy?
You: Hell yeah!
Cop: That's it, now I'm going to have to write you up.
You: Go ahead, see if I care.
Cop: What's your name?
You: Buster...Buster Cherry.
Cop: Okay Buster *snickers* you're in a heap of trouble.
You: What's going to happen to me sir?
Cop: Probably 15 years of jailtime, for assaulting an officer.
You: Oh really? That bad huh?
Cop: Yep. So, any last words?
You: Yeah, I just have a question for you officer.
Cop: What's that?
You: Are you afraid of heights?
Cop: No, why do you ask?
You: Well, your zipper is!

*Cop Looks Down*
*You Speed Away*
_________________________
I know this made completely no sense whatsoever, and I kinda went overboard, but this is what happens when I'm bored. Sorry... :/

I also just noticed I included a sexual innuendo on accident (Buster Cherry...think about it).

Zet January 13th, 2009 6:52 PM

*sly voice* whats up good looking?

Her January 13th, 2009 6:55 PM

Can I use your jumper cables?

pokewhore January 13th, 2009 6:56 PM

Is this a stickup or are you just happy to see me? *wink wink*


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