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Thanks. He's in hospital at the moment, so I'll leave it for now. But I'll try and visit him at some point and get to know him better. I know death is inevitable, but I think cancer is a horrible and cruel way for it to happen... :( Also, I'd hate to see him in such a horrible state... It'll probably make the thing so much more upsetting (apparently his leg has really swelled up, and the dimentia thing I mentioned earlier.) I really hope he recovers, but... he is old... yeah. :(
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My crush on a friend has put a tear in our relationship
I've had a crush on a guy called Jake in the year below me for quite a while now, I'm in Year 11, he's in Year 10. We started to talk quite a lot because we have a lot of close friends in common, and I'd say we've become good friends ourselves.
However, last Thursday, a girl I know told him that I fancied him; something he'd apparently suspected for a while. Since then we've both been avoiding each other a little and when we have spoken it's felt a little awkward. I'm not sure if he's gay or bisexual (he's the kind of annoying person who makes jokes and hints both ways), and I understand he might doesn't feel the same way about me as I do about him, I really do. But I don't know how I can explain it to him... or even if I should. I just want to at least be able to talk to him again. |
Be like, "Hey what's up? We're still cool right?".
I should be an advice columnist. |
Long Story, and Please Read all to Understand:
I know she is on a lot of forums like these, so if in case she is here, I won't mention her name. Anyway, I met her at the end of 2007, and fell in love with her at first sight. We hit it off right away, and unlike most people I know today, she doesn't think I am odd at all. At the time she had a boyfriend, followed by another one, but I didn't fret because I knew they wouldn't last. I asked her out at the beginning of 2009, and got a yes. Happiest day of my life. There were three problems with all of this, though. 1. I was a huge jerk off. She told me I was being too simple and not loose enough, so I acted like a jerk off a lot of the time. Even though she never complained about it, I knew that I should have acted more mature. 2. I was a sissy. Aside from one kiss on the cheek, I never kissed her. This is what probably drove her away, because she probably thought that she wasn't beautiful, when in reality, she is the most beautiful person I ever met. I'm not a sissy anymore, so I would treat her with the affection she longed for. 3. I'm was and still am a social hermit. It probably has to do with not having many friends and being jumped right around the time I stopped being social. I would hang out with her now, though. Well, all of this most likely led to her breaking up with me on her way back from Band Camp during that same summer. We are still very good friends, even though we barely have time to talk anymore. Now, she has a new boyfriend. His name is Tom. I personally thing Tom is the best thing in her live, and that she loves him more than she loved me. He is a nice guy and although we are just aquiantances, he is still a good person and I do not have anything against him, nor does he have anything against me. Anyway, she has had some recent trouble with him and they have been on and off over the past month-month and a half. She recently told me that we should hang out again, but because I'm a social hermit, I wouldn't know how to handle anything. Now, here is what I need help with. 1. If they do in fact break up, I would like to try to woo her back to me. I know there are still some lingering feelings between us. 2. I would need help on how to get it to lead back up to that. Any positive critisism would be greatly appreciated, and Thank you for reading. |
1. If they do in fact break up, I would like to try to woo her back to me. I know there are still some lingering feelings between us.
If they do in fact break up you may want to show a little more affection then a kiss on the cheek. That is what you give your mom not your significant other(not that there is anything wrong with a kiss on the cheek). If you truly think she is the most beautiful person then you ever met then tell her that. Don't keep your feelings bottled up, because if you do how will she ever know how you feel? 3. I'm was and still am a social hermit. It probably has to do with not having many friends and being jumped right around the time I stopped being social. I would hang out with her now, though. I don't understand this one. She isn't or wasn't with you because of the friends you have it is because of you. You mentioned how you have qualities of being a hermit and a jerk off but I am sure there are qualities which is what attracted her to you. I think if you want to get back with her demonstrate the qualities that made her like you in the first place. And be open with your feelings about her, if she doesn't get any affection in return then why would she want to stay in a one way relationship. I would suggest not to act fake and act like something you aren't just to try and impress her cause she will probably see through that. |
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That was another big reason. How do I explain this? I'm not the most liked or attractive person and I nobody thought I would make it with her. I acted like someone I wasn't that whole time. What I need help with is possibly how to fit back into the social scene. |
So the girl I've been interested in (might or not be an understatement) for years suddenly has a boyfriend. And I feel terrible right now. And hate his guts while not knowing more than his name, but that's natural I guess.
So, what would be the best way to detect and murder him and get away with it? Any advice how I can get over it? Spoiler:
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I'd preoccupy myself with other goals.. whether that be a personal goal you want to accomplish.. or one to help family or friends.. or just stuff for self-betterment like doing more in school. Maybe learn something new or take up a new hobby. The best thing you can do is be productive, and the worst thing you can do is dwell. Good luck! |
Is it a good idea to stop falling in love?
I'm tired of liking guys just so they can chase another girl, dump me, or disappear. Also, none of them seem to accept me for who I am. I've been in numerous dates and relationships just to get tossed to the side because of some ******** [sorry for the cussing, this is how frustrated I am]. I would like some insight on this overly-complicated subject. |
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So, if you are so perplexed about falling in love, then yes, it is a good idea for you too not fall in love. Make a friendship relationship before you or they take it to the next level. |
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Just because your heart is there doesn't mean that gives them the right to abuse you. Know when it's right to take a stand and mature a little. Life is not ALL about needing to find love. Just let it come and learn from every experience. Don't always take it as such a negative thing and next time you'll have a better outlook for the next relationship you find yourself in. |
Problem is, it's the only thing that makes me happy now. If I can't have it, I'd rather be "soulless". I don't like the idea of having "distractions" because in the end, it doesn't last... =[
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By chance, are you social?
Try hanging out with your friends more. I used to be the exact same way, but that's because I felt the same way as you and I wasn't hanging out with my friends anymore. I still don't hang out with a lot of my friends, but getting back into the scene slowly will make you feel better. Anyway, you'll have more of a feeling of happiness when you can relate with people, and then you won't need to depend on love to make yourself feel better. |
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And it's that. "If you can't have it, you'd rather be 'soulless.'" And that screams immaturity in relationships. You could very well be mature in other aspects, but clutching to the hope of someone else being there for you and loving you right here and right now is very unrealistic. You don't need a partner to feel alive. I think it's your current mindset that is your biggest problem with relationships, trying to find someone, and trying to keep someone. You need to give it an honest rest. |
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